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Never in his life did Zhao Yuanzhou imagine that he’d end up raising a teenager, and a girl at that. Wan’er had a peculiar sense of humor, much like his own. She rarely beat about the bush, and once she put her mind to something, she never backed away from it. Something they’ve had more than a hundred discussions about that almost turned into mild quarrels, but never got too big like that.
She just was so sure there was a meaning to his existence. A reason for him to drag out his life further and further, having suffered for thousands upon thousands of years.
And he did not, for the love of Goddess, see that reason to go on. Even taking a breath each moment seemed to require extra energy, which he still had plenty of, regrettably so. The malicious force just didn’t end, not ever, not even if he lay his head down on the cold pebbles of the oceanic beach and didn’t move for a whole day. Or maybe a week. Or maybe a year. Now, he didn’t have the luxury to go that far for that long.
Wan’er, despite her Goddess-like visage and tender character, was as solid as the Kunlun Mountains when it came to keeping him alive and somewhat functional. He, on the other hand, simply didn’t have it in him to fight her for whatever reason. She was the Goddess, and she managed to pacify even his angriest, malicious energy outbursts, which didn’t happen at all lately.
Especially, not since she dragged a lost stray kitten into the Wilderness. An actual human, for heaven’s sake, into a place that feasted on human flesh, drank human blood, and found joy in using human bodies in a multitude of unfathomable ways, which often left those bodies unrecognizable afterwards.
It’s not that all demons were inherently bad, but the ones inhabiting the Wilderness were of all types – both kind and feral, the wild and the tame, the hungry and the satiated, the beautiful and the scariest beasts imaginable. Wen Xiao, the girl who looked thin, pale, and was perpetually inquisitive about everything and everyone around her, has spent her fair share of months mourning the death of her father, but once she noticed that her melancholy had nothing on Zhao Yuanzhou’s, she stopped doing that altogether, finding a different type of joy in making sure he didn’t have the time or place to wallow in his sadness and never-ending sorrow.
Wan’er, it seemed, had nothing to do with that, or maybe it was just a Goddess thing, part of that training the girl was going through when they weren’t roaming all around the most beautiful and horrifying places of the Wilderness because she chose to do so. And he followed because each and every one of the living and not-so-living beings in the Wilderness wanted to get a bite of her, or a droplet of blood, or energy of any kind. So he would tag along, although he could’ve easily stopped her or forbade her from walking around much, but he didn’t see the point in that. If she were to become the future Goddess, she needed to know her creatures, big and small. And even more than that, she needed to know how to be around them without fear or judgment or, well, getting immediately eaten. That’s why Wan’er encouraged their prolonged walks that sometimes turned into week-long journeys, and she would find them on some desolate shore or inside a hideous cave inhabited by some ghost-demons who never saw the light of day, with Wen Xiao pale from fear, but stubborn to go on with her explorations.
Zhu Yan did his best to show her around without anyone getting hurt, her including. The demons wouldn’t dare attack them in broad daylight, not with him being her ultimate shield, although Wen Xiao didn’t know it yet. Just how great that nameless ‘Great Demon’ actually was, that part of lore was kept from her, still remaining in the shadows. She wasn’t scared of the mask he was wearing all the time, either, mostly so she wouldn’t get attached to him in any way. As far as humans were concerned, or even Goddesses, he didn’t want any of that right now. Not a single drop of responsibility that would make him drag out his existence even further. Once she grows up a bit and gets her powers sometime later, he can silently disappear into the night, just like he always did when Wan’er was around, and they both didn’t need either protection or his guidance. Sometimes she’d ask him to stick around. No, not like that, she would demand it, whispering to him that the girl needs at least a semblance of a father figure, and that he’ll have to do for now, whether he wants it or not.
Wan’er was cute when she got bossy like that, which didn’t happen too often with him, but almost all the time – with Wen Xiao, turning the gentle Goddess into a full-on Shifu for the girl, so it was mostly Zhu Yan who gave her a softer type of companionship, albeit a sadder and more melancholic one. He learned to enjoy it, though, little by little.
“What’s that?” she would ask him, pointing at a lump of moss-looking greenery crawling across their path as they’re walking along the cave-ridden shore of the Ocean, the one that Zhu Yan preferred to all other locations because of the pacifying effect it had on him. And, it seemed, on the girl as well, but her curiosity always dragged her out of that thoughtful state they both dove deeper in when walking slowly like that, almost turning it into a meditation of sorts. She couldn’t resist the temptation to ask him questions, though, and he didn’t find it in him to deny her answers, especially when she was looking at the Wilderness and everything it had to offer with wide-open eyes and the curiosity of a little cat that has gotten into the most dangerous Wonderland imaginable. Anything could kill her here… this lump of moss including.
“Little poisonous spirit. Can make you scratch yourself for days if you touch it. If you touch it long enough, you’ll scratch yourself to death,” Zhu Yan answers her courteously, just like he most always does, apart from those times when he chooses to make fun of her, just a little bit, his ape side showing more and more when he was around her, being so simple and wondrous and asking him so many questions, just like a new-born demon who has just learned how to talk. Which, well, could take them a hundred years or so, but still.
“Oh…” she bites on her lip and looks like she desperately needs something to write on, so he takes a small notebook and a nearly magical writing feather from the folds of his clothing and gives them to her. She has started putting down all her findings not so long ago, although Wan’er did prefer the no-book and no-writing style of education, it was good to have the girl getting busy with something other than asking him questions non-stop or dragging them both all around the Wilderness looking for ‘adventures’. The smile she gives him would have stirred something beautiful inside his heart some time ago, when he still chose to have those kinds of feelings, but not now. His face mask remains just as emotionless, and he calmly watches her make a few inscriptions on the paper, his magic powering up the ‘pen’ she’s using to write down whatever she was thinking.
“And that?” she points her finger at some crawling stone that moves slowly along the shore, tracing their steps, and he, too, was wondering who on earth was so daring as to follow a Great Demon, no matter how delicious his companion smelled.
“I have no idea,” he chuckles softly, a sound that could’ve remained unnoticed, but she casts him a knowing look, as if she’s already guessed he’s not as emotionless as he tries to seem, far from it, “Why don’t you ask it?” he nods at the stone that has already leveled with them and stopped crawling at a snail-speed.
“Will it bite my head off if I do?” she asks just in case, because, well, his education was of a more practical kind. He would always help her and save her from any kind of harm that could befall her in any form, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t sometimes allow for things to scare her, by simply revealing their true form and intention. She had to learn how to be a Goddess, and a mediator, and not to look so fear-stricken when something as innocent as a stone could turn into a fire-breathing winged creature aiming to make a hole inside of one very tender female body.
She was learning, though, and it did make him a little happy.
“I can’t guarantee you it wouldn’t. But I will help you if it tries to,” he graciously promises her that and it sounds as genuine as it is, making her nod and take a small step towards the stone. They stare at each other silently for some time, making Zhu Yan smile a bit. The stone seemed to be winning the staring contest, because at some point Wen Xiao sighed and squatted in front of it, not caring that she was getting too close to something that could turn out to be quite hostile.
“Why are you following us? Speak freely, no one will hurt you here,” she says, tilting her head a bit and the stone mimics that motion, just as much as a stone could do it, with a little lisping sound as if it was trying to say something, but couldn’t, or didn’t know how to yet.
“Do you know this language?” Wen Xiao turns to look at Zhu Yan, having found out that most creatures had their own way of communication and, to her surprise, the Great Demon could understand most of them, if not all of them. The Great Demon nods and then puts a finger to his mouth, whispering a one-spell word that will help the stone ‘talk’ to Wen Xiao in a way she could understand it, too.
‘Speak’ he whispers, and his finger creates a bright splash of red-orange light that bathes both the stone and Wen Xiao in its warmth, and the girl sneezes when he does it, making him smirk a little. The stone doesn’t start talking, though, but his lisps and whispers start turning into brightly lit writings above it’s head… if stones had heads that is.
“It’s a… curse?” Wen Xiao says in bewilderment, not moving even one inch away from the stone despite this bold announcement, “And it’s after Shifu,” she says, still looking puzzled, “It’s following us because it knows we’ll meet her at some point… and it can take effect. Great Demon, what is this?” she looks at him, not yet frowning, but worry already written all over her face. That courteous ‘Great Demon’ rarely escaped her mouth, she mostly addressed him like that when she really wanted something or, in this case, badly needed to know.
“What kind of curse are you?” Zhu Yan asks the stone, coming a little closer. It wasn’t such a big deal, the Wilderness was filled with magic of all kinds, and this small curse didn’t seem like it could actually hurt someone, even if it tried.
The stone starts spurting out more lisps and whispers, and as it continues, Wen Xiao’s face grows paler and paler, until she throws her hands up in the air, begging the stone to stop ‘talking’.
“No-no-no, I didn’t really mean it when I said it! I didn’t even say it, but rather whispered it and I was just so tired of her moralization, oh come oooon,” she rolls her eyes to the sky, and sits down right on her butt, never minding the bright white robes she’s wearing, as if asking the skies to have mercy on her.
“You’re growing stronger. Creating curses now, are we? How… advanced,” he actually chuckles at that, watching her bite on her lip again, a habit that would someday turn her mouth into a wound, but doesn’t say anything about it. The stone just stares at them both, oblivious to what the fuss is all about. Well, at least now it made sense why the little creature was following them – it was seeking the company of its maker while aiming to find its victim. Very smart.
“How do I undo it… him… whatever it is,” she looks at Zhu Yan with desperation, “If Shifu finds out about this, oh boy, I’ll have to cultivate for half of the night and I can’t take even one more minute of meditation,” she does look miserable when she says it, and the stone moves an inch away as if sensing her murderous mood all of a sudden.
“You can’t undo a curse once it’s out. Especially when you’re getting more powerful by the day. Take some responsibility for what you created. Own it, take it home, give it shelter…” he can barely hold in laughter as her face grows longer with each word he utters, until she sighs so heavily that even the stone seems worried about her, lisping something into the air.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” she whispers, casting an anxious glance at the curse, probably thinking how she’ll introduce this little creation of hers to Wan’er, so Zhu Yan leans in a little and nods slowly at her, his eyes betraying amusement from behind the mask.
“I am,” he confirms, and she sneezes again charmingly, just like a little cat would, “You don’t need to do anything of that sort. Just say you’re sorry and you didn’t mean it. Or, you don’t mean it now, because obviously you did at some point,” he says, watching the stone utter something close to a sigh, probably already feeling its end has already arrived.
“It will die then?” Wen Xiao asks, looking a little sad, and stares at the stone some more, the curse remaining blissfully silent for now, just awaiting her decision. It probably wasn’t that much sentient, just followed its creator and tried to come to life to the best of its capabilities.
“Either that or it will come true, whatever you wished upon the Goddess. You choose,” he says it simply. There really was no better way to teach a kid about magic than let her learn from her own mistakes. This… this was really nothing. A small thing like this would never hurt Wan’er, but it was a good demonstration of the consequences your feelings and thoughts, and words had in the Wilderness, which was soaked in magic through and through.
“I’m sorry, little curse. I really didn’t mean it. You. I want Shifu to always stay happy and healthy and give me as many tasks as she possibly can for an eternity to come,” she murmurs, watching the stone sigh and dissipate into thin air as if it never existed. It was a mere emotion, just a bit stronger than usual, uttered by a girl who was learning how to control her magic and later become a Goddess herself. That’s how things worked in the Wilderness, and the sooner Wen Xiao learns that, the easier it will be for her to take Wan’er’s place in the future.
“Why did you never tell me I could actually curse someone?” she looks at the Great Demon, pouting a little as if it was somehow his fault, and he just ‘hmmms’ instead of answering, and continues to walk along the shore slowly, giving her time to get up and tidy up her clothes.
“Some things you just need to learn on your own,” he casts a glance at her, and she pouts some more, but soon after tha,t the slow pace of their walk and the sound of the Ocean pacify her and whatever sadness or anger she was feeling dissolved into the peaceful ambiance of the place. It was nice, he thought, just walking along the shore like that, even if he had to keep a teenage girl company and look after her all the time while Wan’er was away on her Goddess duties. After some time, she’ll start taking Wen Xiao with her, but the girl was still too weak to meet the real demons without proper protection, not just some small beings and spirits, some of which she is learning to create herself.
“Are those…?” she tilts her head in that endearing gesture that’s become so familiar by now, and Zhu Yan can’t help smiling when her face slowly goes from pale to pink and then to a lovely shade of red, when she puts a hand over her mouth, finally realizing what exactly she’s looking at.
“Two demons who have acquired human form,” he confirms graciously, not making a single attempt to move away or leave the place immediately. Their stroll has led them to a picturesque shore with huge rough stones lying here and there, and it seemed they weren’t the only ones who found this play cozy and pretty. Beautiful enough to start making love right in the open with no regard to possible onlookers whatsoever. It was a demon thing. They didn’t care much about ethics and morale, in fact, there was no such thing in the Wilderness. Demons started dressing up and covering their bodies when they learned how to turn into human form, and even then, not everyone chose to do it, enjoying the nakedness and the sensuality the human bodies offered. These two… were quite busy with each other, so much so that they paid no attention to one Great Demon and one teenage human girl watching them from afar, but not far enough not to see the entanglement of naked bodies.
“Are they…” she says, her voice merely a whisper at this point as she’s doing her best not to stare at the pair of lovebirds, but also unable to look away. Zhu Yan knew that love-making was a forbidden subject in the human world, at least until you grew up to a specific age, and even after that, everyone would remain hush-hush about it, especially the women, who would get to learn more about it mostly after marriage.
“They are having sex, yes,” he says nonchalantly, being pretty blunt about the whole thing, something that will come to bite him in the bums later, he knows. He even knows who exactly will do that metaphorical biting. Wan’er will kill him for spoiling her student like that, and a girl at that. But this girl was different from the rest, and infinitely curious about everything she saw. And she was looking despite her upbringing telling her to be a good girl and avert her eyes and never ever think about things like that ever again.
“Shouldn’t we…” she starts saying, looking even redder than before, and then squints a little, looking shocked all of a sudden, “Are those two men?” she actually averts her eyes from the scene just to look at Zhu Yan, surprise written all over her face, and he smiles silently at that, casting a calm glance at her, as laid back as ever, not minding the whole thing or that they were, indeed, just bluntly watching someone making love out in the open. Naturally, the two demons didn’t mind it at all. If anything, they would probably enjoy some extra company.
“Why do you look so surprised? Humans make love for procreation, mostly, but demons do it for pleasure only, taking up various forms. We don’t distinguish between genders as much. Both are good,” he says, amusement seeping into his voice just a little, and Wen Xiao turns back to watch the couple some more, looking more excited now.
“Both are good…” she whispers under her breath, sounding somewhat dreamy, “Can women do it, too, then, like this? Can I try it?” She looks at him with her eyes burning, and this time Zhu Yan takes his time to answer, because it’s a tricky question. If she were a demon, he wouldn’t hesitate even for a second. But she was a human and a future Goddess at that. Some things, he knew, weren’t so straightforward for her kind.
“I don’t see a reason you can’t try it,” he says softly, “After marriage,” he adds then, with a gentle smile that she can’t see behind his mask, but his answer makes Wen Xiao frown immediately, a familiar pout already there, waiting to form on her bitten lips.
“Goddesses don’t get married, Great Demon, you should know that. I’m not even sure they can have companions, let alone… lovers,” she says, casting another glance at two male demons in the distance, kissing vehemently like there was no tomorrow, reminding Zhu Yan of some other times when he was the one kissing some other demon just like that on the shore. A memory that makes him sigh, casting a side glance at Wen Xiao.
“I don’t think I’m qualified enough to provide you with that kind of information. Wan’er… the Goddess can tell you more about it. As for making love… no one in this world can forbid you to do that. Or have a lover,” he says it like he means it, and her pout remains hidden in the corners of her mouth, but a frown is still there. She was tough, and she was stubborn, with a character that could stand up even to the Bai Ze Goddess herself. Given time, she would grow up into a marvelous woman, and Zhu Yan didn’t really envy that ‘lover’ she’d choose for herself eventually, be it a man or a woman. He can’t even imagine how anyone could say ‘no’ to that amount of willpower and courage and vitality. And that cute little pout she has already mastered to perfection. He was sure he wouldn’t be around to witness that, though, not if he could help it. Getting attached to humans led only to more heartbreak, and he has had too much of it already, enough for a few lifetimes. That, and he was sure she’d be better off without him, both Wen Xiao and Wan’er. Maybe they could simply stay together, just two Goddesses hanging out in the Wilderness. Once Wen Xiao becomes stronger, she will no longer need a protector, and he can finally finish what he has been thinking about for years now.
Wen Xiao watches the two men getting it on, sprawled on the shore for some more time with a shamelessness truly worthy of a demon… or a curious teenager, her eyes sparkling brightly, until she turns to look at Zhu Yan once again, who’s seemingly unperturbed by the whole thing, just waiting for her to satiate her curiosity, no matter how long it would take her. If she wants to watch the whole thing… well, it was too late to turn back now, anyway.
“Have you… tried it?” she asks him, nodding lightly at the couple on the shore who have already started becoming a little more vocal about their pleasure, making Zhu Yan wonder that now may be a perfect time to leave and that maybe his educational style is really not very suited for young human girls. Something Wan’er will surely point out to him later, he had no doubt about that.
“I am 34,000 years old, you know,” he says calmly, not planning to elaborate on the matter, and she utters a very familiar ‘hmmm’ mimicking him subconsciously, or maybe deliberately, sometimes even Zhu Yan couldn’t tell.
“Come,” she says, finally, when the couple has reached a happy ending, or at least one of the demons, as far as Zhu Yan could tell, “Or Shifu will think we’re up to something nasty,” she chuckles, still looking flushed, and turns away, having cast one last glance at two naked men, as gorgeous as two demons could be, and starts walking back slowly. Zhu Yan thinks that it could’ve been worse. But he really, really should have known better.
“I could forgive her a thousand curses she uttered in my name, but this… this…!” Wan’er is casting lightnings with her gaze as she’s staring at Zhu Yan, looking even more furious than that one time when he first talked to her about ending his life, for good. And that outburst was quite spectacular, nearly starting a huge storm in the Wilderness, “Don’t hide from me when I’m talking to you,” she takes the mask off his face, her eyes glaring, “You told her she could have a lover, Zhu Yan. You know the rules…” she casts a glance behind her where Wen Xiao was sulking somewhere in a luscious field of blooming flowers, a place they chose as a temporary dwelling because it was too dangerous for her to stay in one spot for too long, being a deliciously-smelling human and a Goddess in the making. He liked the nomadic lifestyle, he was used to it from the thousands of years he and Li Lun spent traveling all around the world, but was it really the best they could do for her? He really didn't know.
“You had a lover once,” he says calmly, looking her in the eyes, not even worried that Wen Xiao would see his face and maybe even find out his true identity. She might, eventually, if they spend enough time together like this, pretending to be a sort of a family they weren’t actually. But it was the best family she had right now. One sulky Great Demon and one overly protective Bai Ze Goddess.
“I broke the rules, Zhu Yan, and I got cursed for that! Why do you think I’m preparing a new Bai Ze Goddess so hastily? It will catch up with me anytime now,” she’s less angry now and more upset, and Zhu Yan watches her calmly, not at all disturbed by a sudden outburst of emotions. She was incredibly human despite being a Goddess, and he admired her for that. Her empathy allowed her to become the bridge between demons and humans, but that was also her weakness, or someone else might have looked at it that way. He didn’t, though.
“Do you regret it?” he asks her softly, being as formidable as the first time they ever met when she was in the most miserable state he’d ever seen her in all the years they’d known each other after that. By a weird quirk of fate, on that exact day, he had regained full control over malicious energy and was feeling almost at peace with himself. So much so, that when he stumbled on her literally falling apart from grief, and pain, and sadness, and anguish he was so familiar with, he could be there for her – share some of his tranquility with her, and much later, when she allowed him to, he took some of that pain away simply because he could. One dark droplet fell into an Ocean of Darkness – he didn’t as much as flinch, and she managed to go on with her life. Somehow, on that day, a peculiar friendship was born, one he never thought was possible between a vessel for malicious energy and the bearer of the Bai Ze force who could quench it, subdue it, but was still vulnerable to its effect herself.
She looks away, holding his mask in her hand and clutching onto it hard because they both knew the answer to that question.
“I do not,” she says, raising her eyes again, looking pretty in the otherworldly sun of the Wilderness, “And I will pay with my life for the love I had, for however little it lasted. I just don’t want her to suffer the same fate,” now her eyes are filled with worry, and Zhu Yan knows she wants only what’s best for Wen Xiao, but that’s not always possible. Even her father couldn’t stay alive long enough to protect her. Now Wan’er and one Great Demon were the only people who could take care of her.
“I couldn’t tell a young girl, who had just lost her father, and a Goddess in the making, that she would be living a life of loneliness and servitude for the rest of her days like a monk. She needs to have a choice,” Zhu Yan says, casting a glance at the field where he knew Wen Xiao finished sulking by now and was practicing some of the incantations Wan’er taught her, despite always whining how she hates cultivation. She was good. And she had huge potential. She didn’t deserve to be alone.
“But what if it’s not a choice anyone should have? She’ll make the same mistake I did…” Wan’er lets out a sigh and follows his gaze, knowing it in her heart there’s no such force in this world that could forbid that little girl anything if she didn’t like it. Zhu Yan knew that long before they even had that talk and witnessed those two demons making love on the shore. Even when she does become a Goddess, she wouldn’t be able to follow that multitude of rules that were supposed to govern her chastity or some other nonsense the heavenly realms came up with for her kind. She simply wouldn’t care about those things.
“You can only tell Wen Xiao the consequences and let her decide for herself. She’s a smart girl, she’ll figure it out,” he watches Wan’er grow a little calmer, her righteous anger dwindling down to a mere trickle of fire that seemed to be something all Bai Ze Goddesses possessed to some extent. Wan’er was the sweetest woman he had ever met in this realm or another, and yet even she could become as fierce as a warrior when something unjust was happening. Or one of her own was in danger.
“She is, but she’s so young, Zhu Yan,” Wan’er looks at him with that very specific expression on her face that he already knows too well. She will ask him again, and he will have to deny her that wish… again, “Can you stay and protect her when I’m gone?” She looks sad when she says that, so much so that he raises his hand and gently squeezes her shoulder. When she becomes sad like that, then he has to be strong for her – it’s a small game they played to support each other. When he grew sad beyond all measure, it was she who found him and then uttered some words that miraculously reached his heart and at least for some time made things better, somehow, a little.
“You know I won’t be staying here for too long,” and by ‘here’ he means this life, all of it, all the realms, the worlds, and whatever will happen to this place after he’s gone. He will be relieved of this burden, and he will make sure there is no one else to take his place as a vessel of malicious force.
“I know, but… if I’m gone first, can you just look after her for a little while? I’m not asking the powerful Great Demon Zhu Yan… I’m asking Zhao Yuanzhou, who cares about one feisty young girl enough to let her watch demons having sex on the shore… for educational purposes,” she says and then chuckles, watching him press his lips together so as not to smile himself, but his mouth still curls a little, with amusement sparking up his eyes.
“That little traitor,” he says quietly, feeling unable to get angry at Wen Xiao even a little, and Wan’er gives him a knowing look, as if she already knows his answer and doesn’t even need him to say things out loud at this point.
“Don’t think even for a second that I don’t know where you are and what exactly you’re doing,” she leans in a little, being a tad bit menacing, and looking every part the Shifu who was vigorously educating Wen Xiao to learn as much as she possibly could while she was still around.
“A tracking spell?” he raises his eyebrows as if surprised, “You do think I’m an awful caretaker, then,” he says only half-jokingly, and Wan’er smiles at him, her eyes sparkling already, the moodiness almost gone from her features.
“You’re educating her a little too well for my taste. Is that how you bring up little demons in the Wilderness?” She tilts her head a bit, and Zhu Yan knows very well where Wen Xiao picked up this endearing trait.
“We grow up on our own, but you already know that, then why even bother asking?” he smiles at her because gentle verbal sparring like this was something they enjoyed doing the most, simply to pass the time, and because it was a very human thing to do. Something that he enjoyed being, when the circumstances allowed him to.
“To remind you that lovers sometimes lead to babies for human women. Something you didn’t care to mention to our little wildling student today,” she says, and then actually laughs at Zhu Yan’s slightly puzzled expression, because he really didn’t think that far into Wen Xiao’s education, but now that Wan’er has mentioned it...
“You are right as always, my dear Goddess. We should fix this mistake immediately. I think our wildling student shouldn’t be too far away right now…” he starts walking slowly towards the flowery field without even putting his mask on, and hears Wan’er laughing gently behind him as she follows.
“Have you ever heard of such a thing as too much education, Zhao Yuanzhou?” she asks, smiling at him, as she returns the mask to him, watching it cover his face again, hiding the delicate features and the markings of a Great Demon, the greatest this Wilderness has seen in thousands of years.
“Haven’t heard of it. Is that a human thing?” he casts an amused glance at her as they keep on walking through the meadow filled with jingling flowers that sway gently in the wind, creating enough commotion to let their ‘student’ know they’re coming, so she could mentally prepare herself. Enduring one Bai Ze Goddess along with a Great Demon as a caretaker was a type of education in itself, and probably the biggest challenge of all.
“It’s a girl thing,” Wan’er nearly whispers to him, “But don’t tell her I said something like that,” she winks at him, knowing that he’s smiling under that mask, however little, but the arrival of this girl has breathed some life into him as well. Into them both, actually.
“You’re the Shifu,” he says almost jokingly, “Your secret will stay safe with me for eternity.”
Wen Xiao watches them from afar, walking lightheartedly through the meadow, talking about something pleasant, judging by the sweet smiles Shifu is casting at the Great Demon. She’s wondering how such an unlikely couple could emerge in such a wild and unruly place. Or maybe that was exactly why it happened? But as different as they were, both the Bai Ze Goddess and the Great Demon were bent on educating her some more. For once, she was wondering whether she would survive their education that seemed even more horrifying than the Wilderness itself.
“Zhu Yan, please be gentle with her today,” Wan’er casts a glance at Wen Xiao, who’s sitting on the shore of a small lake, more like a pond, looking thoughtful and more than a little sad. He knew women had their cycles connected to the moon and that had something to do with growing up, and they never knew when it would happen, but once it did… it was supposed to be a good thing?
“Is the ability to procreate such a scary thing?” he asks carefully, knowing that women in general were gentle creatures, and Goddesses, as he was learning recently, seemed to be extra sensitive on a whole variety of topics. Wan’er lets out a sigh, already feeling regretful that she needs to leave the girl right now, but she had him here, at least, the Great Demon who didn’t have that many responsibilities, and the ones he had were now cast aside. Both for Wen Xiao’s sake and because he really didn’t have the energy for anything else lately.
“In the human world, it depends on what part of society you’re born. In general… a family would start looking for suitable partners to marry the daughter off somewhere. There are celebrations for women entering adulthood, but they are… not really about women. More like a cultural thing,” she’s trying to explain this to him, but no matter how much time Zhu Yan spent in the human realm, some things still escaped him. The intricacies of human relationships, the families that birthed children and then treated them like things, or even worse. In a way, Wilderness was much more straightforward and easier to understand. But then again, in the Wilderness they didn’t have so many emotions and feelings that needed to be governed and made sense of. This, he thought, was one of such examples that he’d have to tread carefully around. It was a learning curve for all of them, and right when Wan’er was needed here the most, she still had to go and tend to the needs of humans and demons – something only she could perform using the Bai Ze powers.
“I see. Is she hurting, though?” Some things he could actually help her with, like physical pain or healing or something only magic could do. In this place, pretty much everything was decided by the powers you possess, and he had plenty of those, enough to heal a small army of girls, if that’s what she needed right now.
“She might. But it’s more of an emotional thing. I mean, even more emotional than all other little-girl things,” she smiles softly at the girl sitting on the shore, hugging her knees and not really sulking, but not looking peachy either. She was just… being there, emanating an aura of vulnerability and sadness, watching the small water spirits playing on the sparkling surface, not afraid of her for some reason.
“Hmmm,” he lets out a sigh, actually thinking about staying away maybe for as long as all this lasts, but then immediately knows that he shouldn’t, and he wouldn’t. Definitely not now, and probably not later. As much as he hated the idea of getting attached to someone, it seemed unavoidable now. They both, one grown-up Goddess and a young one, somehow made it impossible to just leave them be, a trap he knew he might fall into eventually without even realizing it’s happened.
“I gave her the talk… you know, how to deal with it, becoming a woman, but it’s different now that she’ll be a Goddess. And even more different with all those restrictions she’ll face when fully becoming one,” Wan’er touches his arm lightly, looking reluctant to leave, but that was yet another Goddess thing and a reason why they didn’t really have either relationships or babies – it was a life of servitude and her duties to the both realms always came first, with the rest following if she had the time. That’s why their friendship worked so well, because they didn’t get attached to each other, not needing to create any extra burden to complicate their lives even further. Yet there she was, a young complication that was unavoidable at this point, and he didn’t have it in him to simply leave her like that. “I’ll come back as soon as I can,” Wan’er disappears in a flash of gentle golden light that dissipates in the air, looking like particles of amberish sand, and Zhu Yan spends a few more minutes just standing there and watching the brightly lit sky of the Wilderness, not thinking about anything in particular. He thinks that just being there for her, that little Goddess, may be enough, if she even wants his company at this point.
“I can have babies now. But I won’t,” she wipes off a few tears from her cheeks and continues staring at the sparkling surface of the water, still hugging her knees and looking every bit the young woman that she was, still merely a girl in her teens despite her body already maturing enough to have those babies that she mentioned. Zhu Yan just stands nearby as statuesque as ever, emanating a sense of peace and calm, something that came naturally to ancient beings like him, but he really didn’t know if that’s what she needed right now.
“Is that a good or a bad thing?” he asks carefully, turning his head to look at her, and she raises her tear-ridden face at him.
“I don’t want to get married, and I don’t want to have babies. I like the Wilderness. I like the freedom. Is that so bad?” she looks at him, her eyes filling up with tears once again, and he has his little ‘aha’ moment, or at least he thinks he understands what this is all about, at least a bit.
“You are going to become a Goddess. Neither marriage nor babies are on the table for your kind. What are you so upset about then?” he watches her carefully, feeling there’s an extra layer there, something he hasn’t thought about yet, a set of fears he probably doesn’t even know exist.
“It’s what you say… But Shifu said she’ll be gone soon. She doesn’t say when, just so… I don’t get shocked. And after that… if you go, too, and I have to go back there… what am I supposed to do apart from becoming some boring wife of some boring official?” The tears just keep on rolling down her face, and Zhu Yan thinks that this kind of narrow-mindedness is exactly why humans are suffering so much. Simply not realizing they have so many choices to make, even in that short life span of theirs, and that no one, not even the gods, can tell them what to do.
“Even if that all comes true just like you fear, you don’t have to follow any rules you don’t like. You can be whatever you want to be. If there’s one thing you need to learn – this is it,” he says quietly, not really knowing whether she’ll hear him at this point, and whether she could grasp this concept at such a young age. She was smart, though, increasingly so, and she had to grow up fast because of what she had witnessed being merely a child herself. Demons, despite all the hardships they faced in the Wilderness, developed much slower, especially when it came to intellect and emotions.
“You promise? That I can choose myself? No babies and no marriage? And a pretty woman whom I can love for eternity?” she asks, sounding just like a little stubborn girl that she was, and wipes off her tears. Zhu Yan smiles under his mask at her ideal picture of the future life.
“I can promise you that you can do whatever you want as long as you’re brave enough to face the consequences. Don’t restrict yourself with just one dream, though, you can change your mind so many times you will lose count,” he mentions this casually because humans do tend to change and grow and want various things at different stages in life, he understood that much. Even demons were like that, and they could get tired either of loneliness or companionship or both, really, even of life itself, and he was a glaring testament to that.
She looks away for a few seconds, pondering over his words.
“I can have not one, but many women then?” she tilts her head, and he stares at her for some time, adoring the little demoness she was growing up to be, despite Wan’er’s best efforts to keep her humanity intact. Some people, he knew, were just waiting to unleash their inner potential, whatever it was. The Wilderness could change them, then, helping them to shed something that was no longer working, for it was filled with magic that could transform anyone into anything else if they stayed here long enough. Wen Xiao… was a special girl, indeed, for she could grasp the intricacies of this world the minute she stepped into it.
“As many women as you’d like,” he says courteously, nodding to her lightly, “Or men,” he adds just in case to keep her mind open about things, “Just make sure…”
“To be ready to face the consequences, I get the gist now,” she sighs, looking a little sad now, making Zhu Yan relax a bit internally. As far as young girls were concerned, he really didn’t know much about them and was treading on thin ice with each conversation they had.
“I know Goddesses officially don’t get to have lovers and husbands and babies… but can we make friends then? And can friends have sex? Does that turn them into lovers? And if so, who makes up all this stuff?” She’s asking him all this, but Zhu Yan really doesn’t know, and even Wan’er may not be able to answer all those questions.
“They can have companions of the demonic kind, I can tell you that much. As for the rest… maybe it’s time to rewrite those boring heavenly laws,” he says softly, knowing it in his heart that if anyone could do it, it was her, as fiesty and stubborn as she was to pave her own way, despite everything that has happened to her.
“Companions… like you and Shifu?” She looks at him inquisitively, striving to know more about everything and everyone, him and Wan’er included, and at least with that, he could give her some clarity. Although it wasn’t something that would make her happy, he could already feel that.
“We met by chance and out of necessity. One could say that our powers preserved us so we could each continue with our duties. But we weren’t meant to be together… like that. She’s a friend. And we will drift apart as soon as we can go on without each other’s support,” this, he knew, was the truth. The Wilderness had a way to help its strongest survive. The ones that had the power to save it or to destroy it. It needed the Goddess just as much as it needed the Great Demon – safe, sound, and preferably sane and in one piece. It was no accident that they met, each hitting some low points in their lives. And it was no accident that they stuck together, just being there for each other in the most unassuming and gentle way.
“How do I find him then? My companion…” Wen Xiao lets out a sigh and looks away, letting the peaceful atmosphere of the shore lull her into a calmer state of mind. Zhu Yan did’t have a definitive answer to that, either, but he knew that just like with all the things in the Universe, they happened due to fate and some greater powers at play.
“You just wait and see what happens next. And if he doesn’t turn up, we’ll go and hunt down the prettiest demon to become your companion,” he chuckles, watching her face light up with joy and anticipation. Little girls, he was learning, were pretty easy to coax, but you really had to know what you were talking about. And he knew she would remember his words and would make him act upon them if the right time comes and her companion doesn’t show up.
“You promise? The prettiest of them all?” Her eyes are sparkling, and Zhu Yan lets out a sigh, knowing already that this promise, just like everything else he told her, will have its price one day.
“I promise. The most stunning one who will protect you no matter what, forever and ever. I’ll make sure of that,” and that seems to reassure her enough to finally stop shedding tears and thinking about babies and marriage and lovers and companions, at least for some time.
“I might need a written confirmation of that,” she smiles at him charmingly, and he rolls his eyes. Wan’er was teaching her too well about dealing with demons, especially the more powerful ones. But could he really deny her that at this point? Or anything, really. Wen Xiao loved it when he made promises to her, big and small, probably feeling more reassured about her future. And he thought he might just postpone his departure for a while, so that her future demon companion could take his place and protect her and take care of the Bai Ze Goddess to the best of his capabilities. He knew that demon was out there somewhere, just like Wan’er used to have one before things went south with their relationship. He signs the contract Wen Xiao whips up fast on a small piece of paper from a notebook she was carrying around with her at all times now, and watches the prettiest smile bloom on her face, thinking that it just might be worth it. Dragging out his existence for a while longer – if only to make her smile a little more. And maybe smiling himself a bit more often than he used to. It may not be much in a grand scale of things, but if it made one young girl happy, he could at least try and stick around.