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I keep hearing her screaming. It keeps replaying and replaying in my head. I have never felt so scared of losing her than I was at that moment. My whole body was shaking and crying and I couldn’t think about anything except getting to her, saving her. I love her so damn much and I don’t think I realized how deep it was until I heard her screaming.
She’s here. She’s safe. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost her. I can’t imagine living without her. But she’s here. I need to protect her. She’s so small. I never realized it. She’s fast asleep. I know she’s safe here, but I can’t leave her side. I won’t ever. I need to keep her safe. I’m sitting next to her bed and holding her hand and stroking her hair. I need to make sure she’s real, that this isn’t just a dream and I’m still in that dungeon.
She slowly opens her eyes and sees me. “Ron…” is all she can say before she starts crying. I wrap my arms around her.
“Shh. It's okay, I’m here, we’re safe, I won’t let them near you ever again, I promise.” I lift her hand and kiss the knuckles.
“Ron… I was terrified. I heard you screaming my name. Hearing you gave me something to fight for Ron…” She said as tears started to roll down her face.
“I was so scared too, listening to you screaming like that, oh I’m so happy you’re safe.” I lean over and kiss her forehead, then wipe the tears from her cheeks. She closes her eyes and smiles.
She sniffs. “Bath... I need a bath.”
“Right, okay. I’ll go wake Fleur or Luna, they’ll help you and uh, I’ll stay outside the bathroom if you need me, yeah?” Merlin, I know my ears are bright red.
“No Ron. I need you with me. Please help me take a bath. You’re the only one that I need right now.” She says this timidly, like she wasn’t sure she should say it.
What? Did she really say that? “Are… are you sure? I want to help you but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable”
“Yes Ron, I need you. I can’t handle anyone else right now. You could never make me uncomfortable, and, I’m… I’m okay with you seeing me.” She says this while giving me this look that makes me blush.
I very gently lift her up and hold her close to me. I know she is likely strong enough to walk, but I just found myself lifting her up, and she gave no protest. It’s only a few steps from her room to the loo across the landing. Once we get to the bathroom I sit her down on the toilet seat, making sure the lid is down first, and start the bath, making sure to add lots of bubbles. I need to keep my randy mind out of this and the bubbles will help with that.
I help her stand up and she comes over to the edge of the tub. I turn around and look away while she undresses.
“Can you give me a hand getting into the water?” I reach my hand out to help her, but still looking away. “It’s okay Ron, you can turn around now.” She says once she’s in the water, and covered by the bubbles.
I turn around and feel myself take a gulp, knowing my ears are likely bright red right now. “How's the water? Is it too hot?” I kneel down next to the tub.
She sighs, but it seems to be a good sigh, I think. “No, it's perfect, thank you.”
I try to hold back my tears as I hold her face and look at her. She’s so bloody beautiful. The fact that I almost lost her, but didn’t, just kinda makes her more beautiful. I dunno if that makes sense but she is.
“Ron...I-” she starts crying.
“It's okay; I’m here. You’re safe. Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?” I take the flannel and soak it in the soapy water. She doesn’t seem to be blinking and she’s holding her knees to her chest. How did I not realize how tiny she was? When did she get so small? I gently wash her back and shoulders. I lift my hand off of her but she grabs hold of it.
“Don’t… don’t let go of me. I feel like if you leave, she’ll… she’ll come back…” She can’t finish her sentence and starts crying even more.
“No. She’ll never touch you again, Hermione. Do you understand? I will die making sure that she will never ever hurt you again. I promise. Bellatrix will never hurt you again.” I tell her this while holding her face gently, to make sure she knows that I mean it.
“Ron… I need…” She pauses for a moment and looks deeply into my eyes. “I love you. I’m in love with you.” She says while breathing hard.
Wait, did she just say that? Bloody hell she did. I stop breathing for a second and just stare at her. I can tell my lack of a response is affecting her as she looks nervous now. I almost lost her. I have to tell her. I’ve been in love with her since I was fucking fourteen, and now she told me that she loves me too. I dunno how she could love some tosser like me.
I lift her chin to look up at me. Her eyes are bloodshot and I can tell she is trying not to cry, some of her hair is stuck to her forehead. She’s never looked more beautiful to me. I wipe away her hair and bring my face closer, resting my forehead against hers… “I love you too Hermione” I whisper before moving my lips down and kissing her, gently but passionately, so she knows it's a real kiss. I release her lips but hold her close to me. “I have been so in love with you for so long.” She looks me in the eyes and gives me a watery smile. Her smile has this way of making my whole body feel warm.
“D-don’t let go of me, p-please.” She says shakily.
“Never. I promise.” I reach for the wand and point it at the water, warming it back up for her. I see her nod in appreciation.
“Could… could you come in with me?” She asks nervously
Wait, what did she say? Before I have time to process what I’m doing I nod fractically. Quickly, I remove my pajamas until I’m left in only my underwear. Fuck, does she want me to take these off too? I stand there, with my hands on the elastic band of my underwear, not sure of my next move. She looks at me and nods, with this devilish grin on her face.
“Hermione, love, are you sure? I’m more than happy to just help you get clean from outside the tub.” I want to make sure she knows I am not pressuring her or anything, or that I’m expecting anything now that we confessed our love.
“Yes, Ron, I’m sure. If I’ve learned anything throughout all this it’s that we could die at any moment, and I feel like you and I have wasted too much time already. I want this, no, I need this. I need you.” Her voice is sure and confident. Here goes nothing I guess…
She looks back down at her knees as I remove my underwear. She moves forward slightly so I can sit in behind her. I sit down in the tub, leaning against the side with her sitting in between my legs. She immediately lies back against my chest. Merlin, the feeling of her bare skin against mine feels like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I wrap my arms around her waist slowly, making sure I am gentle. I cannot hurt her.
“Is this okay?” Please say yes. I need to touch her, to make sure she’s all there, I can’t lose her. All I can think is that she came close to dying.
“It's perfect. Feeling you this close is what I need Ron. I need to know that I’m alive… That I can feel. Please,” she puts her hand on my knee, squeezing it. “I need to feel you touching me. I love you. Please, touch me.”
“I love you too.” We are both kind of on and off crying now because there are so many bloody emotions happening. What the fuck is happening? She was just tortured to the brink of death, she should be terrified of anyone touching her. I’m so bloody confused. “But I don’t want to hurt you. After what just happened your emotions must be everywhere. Wouldn’t I be taking advantage?” I ask her.
“No. You won’t. I want this. I’ve always wanted this. I trust you to be gentle with me… I feel like I need to be as close as I can to you… I give you my consent.”
I start to kiss her neck gently, little pecks here and there. She’s making these little cooing sounds and it just makes me want her even more, if that’s at all possible. I want her so badly it hurts.
I take the flannel and start to wash her chest, starting from her shoulders and massaging down, making sure I’m being very careful around the cut on her neck. I wash and touch everywhere but what I want to touch, I can’t make that first move.
She takes hold of my hands and drops the flannel into the water. She gently rests my hands on her breasts, giving me a look. I gulp roughly, then cup her gently.
I hear her breathe in heavily as my hand touches her bare breasts. She lets out a low moan. She is so bloody soft. I run my thumb over her erect nipples and I feel her whole body shake, causing my hips to buck up against her. I know she can feel me rock hard against her back. But I realize I don’t care if she knows I’m hard.
“Are you okay? Was that too much? Do you want me to stop?” I ask one more time, just to make sure.
“That was more than okay. Stop thinking.” She rolls her eyes at me. I laugh at the moment of normalcy. “What do you want to do? What do you need? Please tell me.”
“All I want to do is protect you, love you, and hold you as long as you want me. And I want to…” I need to say it because for all I know we could all be dead tomorrow. “I want to make love to you, Hermione. I’ve wanted you for so long. Like you said, we might be dead tomorrow and if we’re going beyond the veil, I want you to show you how much I love you.”
She blinks like an owl before sighing. “Then make love to me Ron. I’ve wanted you for so long, for years. I ache for you. You’re the only one that makes me feel alive. I want you touching me. Please make love to me, Ron.” Hearing her say this makes me breathe heavier.
Bloody hell, did she really say that? “Are you sure, Hermione? I want and need you so fucking much but only will if you’re absolutely sure. Tell me you’re sure about this.”
“Ron Weasley, I am absolutely sure. I want you to make love to me. I give you my consent. But are you sure you want this too?”
“Oh Merlin, me too, Hermione.” I lean forward as she leans her head to the side so we can kiss each other. Her lips are so soft.
I step out of the tub and wrap a towel around my waist. I help her out of the tub and wrap her in the other towel, helping her dry off before lifting her into my arms gently. I look at her and kiss her forehead before walking us back to her room. I lay her on the bed gently and then cast a locking and silencing charm, as well as a contraception charm on both of us. The thought of my brother barging in on us dampens the mood a touch. I see Hermione reaching for my hand and all thought of Bill disappears.
“I thought I was going to lose you before getting to be with you like this. I love you so much Hermione. For so long, I was such a git, I’m so sorry.”
She squeezes my hand before pulling me onto the bed with her. “I love you too. We were so stupid for so long. Show me how you feel.”
I thread my fingers into her hair and kiss her like I’ve always wanted to. Fuck, she’s kissing me like her life depends on it. My hands are roaming all over her skin, I’m making sure to be very gentle but bloody hell touching her is indescribable. It's like I want to consume her. I reach her lower stomach and she breathes in. I look up at her. “Are you sure?” I need to check one more time.
She rolls her eyes and smiles at me. “Yes, I’m sure. Please. I’ve never done this before. No one has ever touched me there, besides myself.”
“I know, same for me. I’ll be gentle with you. I promise, and if you want to stop, we will. I want to make you feel good, forget all the pain. I want you to focus on me touching you.” She looks up at me and runs her hand through my hair and nods.
My hand runs through the dark brown curls that protect her most intimate area. She is wet, very wet. My cock throbs knowing I’m the one that did that. I reach her clit and gently rub the tip of my thumb against it. She sucks in a deep breath. Very slowly I move my finger down. Before I can comprehend what I’m doing, my finger reaches her wet, tight opening. She lets out a moan. Bloody fuck.
“Fucking hell, Hermione.”
She’s breathing more heavily now. I very slowly push my finger inside of her. She is so tight. I stop once half of my finger is inside her. Holding my hand still I press my lips to hers. I bring my mouth to her ear, “How does that feel love?”
“It feels… It's odd. It stings a little but it also soothes the ache. But I don’t want you to stop, just go slow.”
I continue to rub her clit with my thumb as I start moving my finger in and out of her, making sure to be gentle as I can.
“Oh... god… th-that feels... more...” She purred to me with a whine.
I push my whole finger inside her and slowly increase my speed. She starts moaning and trembling. I hook my finger upwards and she lets out a loud moan. I think she liked that motion I made with my finger.
“More… please.” Her breathing is speeding up.
I slowly add in another finger, causing her to breathe in deep. “Are you okay? Do you want me to keep going?”
“Yes… keep going… I need you.”
I pump my fingers more and increase my speed based on the noises she’s making. Bloody hell she looks so sexy like this. I can’t believe that I can cause her to make these sounds. I try to make sure she is as open as she can be for me. I can’t hurt her. I look at her, she is breathing rapidly and there’s a thin layer of sweat on her forehead.
“I’m ready now, Ron.” She looks me in the eyes and reaches her hand down to touch my cock, making me shudder at her touch. Holy fuck, Hermione Granger is touching my dick.
“Are you sure, Hermione?”
She huffs. “I’m sure. I know I am. I need to feel, I need you. You somehow make everything better when you are holding me. You make the pain go away. I’m sure, Ron. Please make love to me.”
I need this. I need her. Bloody hell we are doing this. I move so that I am laying in between her legs, making sure to put all my weight on my arms and knees. Her body has bruises all over, but she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen.
“I love you, Hermione.” I press my forehead to hers and lock my eyes with her as I slowly, very slowly, push inside her. We both have tears in our eyes as we feel our bodies join together. I stop once I reach her barrier. The idea of hurting her makes me cry more. “I… I can’t hurt you.”
“I want to feel this with you. You’re the only one I trust with this Ron. I love you. I’m ready.” I look deep into her eyes as I push all the way inside her. She gasps out loud at the pain of me being completely inside her for the first time. She’s all I can think about as I kiss away every tear from her eyes, making sure to be as gentle as I can. I knew it would hurt her.
“It’s okay, I’m here. I love you so much. Tell me when you are ready for me to move.” I hold onto her tight, pressing my chest to hers while still making sure not to put too much of my weight on her. I kiss her, gently brushing my tongue against hers, savouring every part of her. Bloody hell I’m actually inside her. If this is all she can take then I’m fine with that. This feeling is… I dunno if there’s even a word to describe this. After a few minutes of kissing her and holding her, while being completely still inside her, I feel her shift under my weight. She is breathing rapidly.
“Make love to me Ron.”
I nod at her before kissing her. I slowly thrust out and then back into her, being gentle but also deep. It’s primal, like I need to touch every part of her I can, like I need to be as deep inside her as I can. I can tell she feels the same because our eyes are locked on each other. I lean down, kissing and licking her neck as she runs her fingers through my hair, moaning and gasping my name. When I realise how much she is enjoying this, I start to let myself enjoy it because I know it doesn't hurt anymore. We are both moaning and moving against each other. The feeling is so right. Like she is all I need.
“Hermione, you feel so good. Being like this with you… being inside you… gods, it's intoxicating. I love you so much. I want to make you come.” She whimpers loudly at my words. Remembering what happened earlier when I hooked my fingers up inside her, I take hold of her legs and bring them higher up around me, which causes me to push deeper inside her, at just the right angle.
“Oh gods Ron that feels so good! You're so deep. Keep going!” Hearing her moaning like that for me almost does my head in. She feels so fucking good. I keep thrusting my hips into her, going deep, but I pick up my pace as she begins to clench around me more and more. I think she’s close, and so am I.
“Oh Ron… I love you so much. Forever.” I kiss her with hunger as I move my hips slightly faster. She lets out a loud cry and starts shaking, clenching around my cock so hard. She’s coming, and so am I. I thrust myself into her as deeply as I can and moan her name into her neck as I come deep inside her, feeling her clench around me, like she's sucking me in and taking everything I’m giving her. I realize that both our magic is making the space around us tingle, like we are in the clouds or something. For a while we just stay like this, connected, staring at each other, breathing heavily.
I gently pull out of her and reach for a wand to clean us up. Without realizing it I grab the black crooked one. She looks at it and breathes in loudly, closing her eyes. I see that it’s Bellatrix’s wand in my hand and throw it across the room, far away from us. I grab the other wand to cast a cleansing charm on both of us along with another one my brothers taught me to take away any of the sting she might still feel after her first time. I turn on to my back, bringing her with me so that her head is laying on my chest. I wrap my arm around her shoulders holding her as close as I can.
“Ron, that was so perfect. I love you so much. I can’t ever lose you. Promise me that I won’t lose you?” She is holding onto me so tight.
“Ssshhh, it’s okay, love. You won’t ever lose me, I promise. I love you so much. Making love to you was everything I could have wanted. We’re safe. You can sleep now if you want, love, I’ll be here holding you the whole time.” She wraps her arm around me and nuzzles into my chest. “I’m not going to let you go,” I whisper into her hair before kissing the top of her head. “You’re stuck with me now.” I hear her giggle into my chest. “I’ll always protect you, and I know you’ll always protect me.” We fall asleep, holding onto each other as tight as we can.