Chapter Text
Neteyam woke abruptly, clutching his chest. The ghost of pain still trembled through his body as he willed his breath to slow. The ground was cold and hard in their marui, but Neteyam still could not handle sleeping in his hammock. The gentle sway only reminded him of the water, and the water only reminded him of that night. It had been very difficult to return to the water after the incident. Everything, from the sound of the waves against the shore to the spray from the rocks, reminded him of how it had felt lying on his back with his family staring down at him. He could not stand it.
A persistent beep echoed throughout the marui; his father and brother were frantically yelling and searching for something. His mind still blurred from sleep, Neteyam could only look on in confusion. His mother came and stood behind him, resting her hand on his shoulders.
‘Mawey,’ she murmured to him. It’s only then that he realised how fast he is breathing, his body frantic.
Neteyam forced himself to breathe slowly, recalling the techniques Ao’nung had taught him when he still struggled to stay calm in the water. One hand on the stomach, one on the heart. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Now that he could see clearly, he realised where the beeping is coming from. Spider lay in what was Neteyam’s hammock, his body twitching. His mask beeped desperately, a small red light flashing.
‘Dad,’ Neteyam called out. ‘Over there.’ He points to a trunk in the corner of their marui where Spider’s fresh mask sat. His father rushed over and quickly switched the masks over.
‘That’s it, deep breaths,’ he says to Spider. ‘It’s gonna be okay.’
Those last words hang heavy in the air. They were the same words his father had murmured to him that night. Neteyam could tell from the look on his father’s face that he was also thinking of that night. Reliving that same moment.
Although Neteyam could not remember much of what happened after his world went black, his mother explained it to him once he had healed. According to her, Kiri had taken him down into the water and placed kelp over his wound. She was then able to use her kuru to beg the Great Mother to help. After that, his mother did not have an explanation as to how his wound sealed itself, or how he was returned from Eywa’s embrace. Neither did Kiri. Still, Neteyam could remember seeing the Great Mother, feeling her warm embrace, before being yanked back to the living.
The incident had affected everyone differently. For his mother, it had only fueled her hate for the sky people, which she in turn directed towards Spider. His father had kept himself busy, diving for weapons at the wreck, constantly anticipating an attack. Having come so close to failing to protect his family, his father now panicked every time something happened. Lo’ak could barely talk to Neyteyam; he blamed himself so much that he feared Neyteyam would never forgive him, even though Neyteyam already had. The distance that had been wedged between them stung Neteyam’s heart, but he knew Lo’ak needed his space. Kiri was left confused and helpless about how she had saved him that night, and desperately called to the Great Mother for answers. Only Tuk, in her innocent youth, treated Neyteyam the same. Often, dragging him away from his mother to play hide and seek, or to get his help when weaving.
As Spider slowly came back to consciousness, Neteyam watched as his father sent a wry look towards his mother. Neteyam knew that look. It was the look of his father admitting defeat; it was the same look his father had given him when he had been bleeding out on the rocks, begging to go home. Spider cannot stay here much longer.
⋆˚꩜｡
Neteyam waited at the entrance of the marui, anxiously glancing outside. He tapped his foot impatiently. What is taking him so long? Just as he is about to give up waiting, Ao’nung came around the corner. Seeing Neteyam’s glare, he winced before breaking into a light jog.
‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ Ao’nung quickly says. ‘Mother was lecturing me again about-’
‘I don’t care,’ Neteyam snapped. ‘Let’s go, I want to get this over with.’
Marching off, Neteyam heard Ao’nung sigh before following behind him. They walked into the mangrove forest behind the village. There, Ao’nung led the way to the small cove that holds the hot spring. It had been Ao’nung’s idea to help Neteyam get back in the water through the hot springs. The warm water was comforting and didn’t remind Neteyam of the rough, cold water from that night.
‘Okay,’ Ao’nung starts. ‘Float on your back, I will help you.’
It had taken time for Neteyam to fully trust Ao’nung, let alone step foot into the water, but the boy’s patience and dedication to ensuring Neteyam was comfortable ultimately won Neteyam over. Neteyam wanted to get back in the water; he just could not control the fear that took over him. Still, floating on his back in the warm water helped.
Ao’nung kept a hand between Neteyam’s shoulder blades, grounding him and reminding him that he is not alone. His other hand gently brushed water over his forehead, all while repeating the water clan’s mantra.
‘The way of water has no beginning and no end…’
Neteyam focused on his breaths, ensuring they were slow and deep. When Ao’nung reached the end of his mantra, Neteyam took one last breath, and Ao’nung slowly let him sink under the water. Neteyam allowed his mind to go blank; he knew Ao’nung was with him, and he knew he was safe. The water enveloped him with warmth, and he was genuinely able to enjoy the sensation without his mind being triggered.
His father had explained to him, after the first time he had tried to return to the water and failed, that some people struggle to go about their day-to-day lives after something traumatic happens. He called it PTSD. A human name. Ronal, the tsahik, had told him Eywa was not ready for him to return, but that the goddess would allow him to eventually. Though she did not say so to his face, Neteyam knew the tsahik thought him an abomination.
Suddenly, Neteyam felt Ao’nung shift. Bursting up to the surface and gasping for breath, he could hear what had caused Ao’nung to become restless. A horn was sounding in the distance, alerting them to the presence of visitors. Neteyam started to tense immediately, but Ao’nung placed two hands on his shoulders.
‘It’s the Wind Traders,’ he said softly. ‘Look!’
He pointed his hand towards the visible patch of sky from the cove, where a giant caravan floated through the sky, pulled by one of the most beautiful creatures Neteyam had ever seen. The Wind Traders had not visited the Omaticaya since the war with the sky people returned, so Neteyam could hardly wait to see what treasure they had after so many years.
‘Come on,’ Ao’nung ushered him towards the mouth of the cove. ‘Let’s go before all the good stuff is gone.’
⋆˚꩜｡
The Wind Trader’s caravan was filled with immaculate treasures, collected from various navi clans across Pandora. Neteyam and Ao’nung caught up with Tsireya and Lo’ak, who were already going through the various satchels that were handcrafted and decorated by members of the Tayrangi Clan. Neteyam could feel the smile forming on his face; the woven pieces were so similar to those of the Omaticaya that for one small second, Neteyam was able to pretend that he was home amongst the rainforest once more.
It’s not that he hasn’t come to love the reef. But given the recent circumstances, Neteyam longed to be riding his ikran through the Hallelujah Mountains once more. After his accident and his struggles with getting in the water, his father had proposed that they start using their ikran more often. From helping haul in massive nets of fish, scouting with the hunters, and even hunting himself occasionally, it had allowed Neteyam to feel useful while still being unable to enter the water. But it still wasn’t the same as weaving through the floating mountains and feeling the wind whip against his face.
He and Ao’nung were making good progress. Neteyam’s lung capacity had practically returned to what it had been before the accident. It was just the memories the cold ocean brought back that were the problem. To give Ao’nung some credit, Neteyam had to admit that the boy had been extremely patient. Never pushing Neteyam to get back into the ocean, only accepting what Neteyam allowed himself to do. Neteyam was extremely grateful.
Even before the sky people’s attack, Ao’nung had seemed to understand Neteyam in a way no one else had before. He saw Neteyam. Saw how he struggled to be the perfect example for his siblings, saw how he constantly had to watch out for them, and saw his hurt at leaving his home. It was a shame he was such an arse to Lo’ak in the beginning; Neteyam and him would have become friends a lot faster.
Lo’ak and Tsireya were giggling in the corner of the caravan, watching as Spider entertain one of the wind traders with a dance. For a sky person by flesh, Spider was completely navi by heart. No one could deny that. But Neteyam knew before their father gathered them together that evening that Spider would not be able to stay here for much longer.
‘Okay, your mother and I have spoken, and we’ve agreed that Spider cannot stay here any longer,’ His father starts but was quickly cut off by his siblings' outrage. Kiri, in particular, appeared to be furious.
‘I know it's unfair, but it’s not safe for him here. One flat mask and its all over. I’ve spoken with Peylak and he’s agreed to drop off near the forest.’
‘But Dad, Spider is one of us now.’ Kiri begged.
‘Yeah, come on, it's not fair.’ Lo’ak joined in.
Neteyam knew better than to argue, even though he agreed with his siblings and wished Spider could stay. The realistic side of his brain told him that it was not sustainable for Spider to stay; his masks were flimsy as they were, and were bound to cause trouble.
‘Okay, okay,’ his father sighed. ‘What if we went with Spider to drop him off. Say a proper goodbye and then come back?’
‘Go back home?’ Neteyam asked, ears perking up.
‘For a couple of days, then we would have to come back here.’
Neteyam tried not to show his disappointment. Still, a couple of days back in the forest might be exactly what Neteyam needed to clear his head and get on with his life.
‘Okay, it's decided.’
⋆˚꩜｡
‘You’re leaving?’ Ao’nung asked him that evening when he saw the Sullys were packing.
‘Just for a little while,’ Neteyam answered. ‘To say goodbye to Spider, and to see my grandmother.’
‘That will be nice,’ Tsireya said in reply. ‘Won’t in Lo’ak.’
‘Ah, yeah…’ Lo’ak replied. He glanced warily at Neteyam before returning his gaze to his packing. Tsireya sent him an apologetic look to which Neteyam just gave a sad smile. He knew his brother would come to him when he was ready. His father was keeping him on a pretty tight leash for disobeying orders that day, plus Lo’ak was already punishing himself enough. Neteyam knew his brother, Lo’ak would come to him when he was ready to be forgiven.
‘Is he still not speaking to you?’ Ao’nung asked.
‘He blames himself.’ Neteyam replied.
‘He’s not the only one,’ Ao’nung said quietly, mostly to himself.
‘What?’ Neteyam questioned, turning his attention to Ao’nung.
‘I should’ve stayed with you and my sister. Rotxo and I could have helped fight. Maybe you wouldn’t have been injured if-’
‘Stop.’ Neteyam sighed. ‘None of this is anyone’s fault but Quaritch and the sky people. He is gone, so there is no one left to blame.’
Neteyam couldn’t help but notice Spider flinch, obviously overhearing his conversation with Ao’nung. Neteyam hated the fact that the people around him felt so much guilt because of his accident. Hated that Lo’ak could barely look at him. He missed his brother so much. Pushing that aside, Neteyam finished packing a small bag for the journey. Tomorrow they would return to the forest, and Neteyam would finally feel peace.