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The loud chitchat had become numb at some point — once the sound of familiar voices, now nothing but an indiscernible buzz. His mind wandered aimlessly above the clouds and the skies, detached from his body like a lost piece of a puzzle. It watched from above: a body dragging one leg behind the other like a tiring chore. Strange. His own body, and yet, at the same time, he couldn't feel himself move. How was he moving? It didn't matter now. His focus turned to the sky above just in time to see a pair of sparrows circling him; their beaks opened and closed, and their wings flapped enthusiastically, but when he tried to reach a hand to them, the poor creatures flew far away as if something had scared them.
Soon, he understood it hadn't been him who scared the pair of sparrows; from nothingness, a muffled noise broke the barrier of sound surrounding his mind, but still, he paid it no mind. Maybe it had happened before, he couldn't tell, as bothering to decipher it felt like a pain and wondering where it could possibly come from felt even worse. But then it happened again, and again. The space where his mind sought refugee became distorted, wrapping in itself and bringing him along whether he wanted or not. He didn't.
The sound — a voice, he recognized now — became louder and clearer. He could discern a slight accent in it, maybe a hint of worry too. However, the more his mind focused on it, the more deformed became the space around him; he couldn't even tell left from right or east from west. A piercing pain came from above, his head, he presumed.
"Jae-Ha." The voice called.
Right. That was his name, wasn't it? Jae-Ha.
"Jae-Ha!"
For a fraction of a second, everything went blank and his mind connected to his body.
Jae-Ha focused his eyes. Last time he noticed, the sun shone high in the sky, but now it entered the horizon, ready to end another day. In front, Yoon led the group to the entrance of a forest. He pointed forward with a map in the same hand and looked backward at Yona and Hak, who nodded their heads in response. A place to set camp, Jae-Ha thought. Behind the pair were Shin-Ah and Zeno, who bumped into each other with almost every step they took, some kind of game, he guessed. Feeling a presence by his side, Jae-Ha looked to his left to find the missing person.
"Kija." He assented, connecting the voice he had heard earlier in his mind to the man by his side.
"Are you feeling unwell?" Kija asked. "I have been trying to catch your attention, but neither did you respond nor notice I was right next to you. Is something bothering you? As fellow dragon warriors, we share the same oath and destiny. You can confide in me your worries and troubles."
Not this conversation of fates and dragon's vows and whatever more it was again. A curse is what it is. A moment passed and Kija still looked at him like someone expecting a profound answer; even his headache intensified. Jae-Ha wanted to massage his nose bridge to ease the pressure, but that would most likely raise another round of undesired questions and attention. He could only lie and expect Kija to buy it and not pry any further. "Just tired. Had a rough night, you see." He winked.
Kija looked at him for a moment too long Jae-Ha thought he hadn't understood the joke. Maybe it was too much for an innocent mind like his. But those blue eyes kept on staring as if they could penetrate his skull and look for the truth behind his words, which was none and maybe Kija knew it too. His thoughts fluttered once more; with the sun halfway through the horizon, Jae-Ha couldn't help but peek at those sun-kissed eyes, and if it weren't for the situation he got himself into, then maybe he wouldn't mind them staring for eternity.
But eternal life never comes to those with dragon's blood in their veins.
Before Jae-Ha could blabber some nonsense into the other's ear, Kija turned his head to the rocky path in front and said, "Well, if you say so."
The boy kept walking by his side, matching his pace, but soon enough, the awkward silence filled the air, consuming Jae-Ha little by little. While he was glad Kija gave up pursuing the matter, maybe he shouldn't have lied so ugly about it, but he couldn't help himself, could he? He preferred to listen but not to be listened to, liked to help but not to be helped, and wanted to give but never to take. To make matters worse, a sense of regret crept in when he peeked at Kija — an expression he couldn't read veiled that face — still, he appeared calm and collected, but something uncharacteristic came to the surface.
Jae-Ha sighed. Truth be told, it wasn't as easy as it looked and to make a long story short, at the prime age of 25 years old, Jae-Ha thought he had long forgotten about his terrible past and somewhat healed from the trauma it had caused him.
It turned out that was not the case.
When night came, old nightmares started to haunt his nights again. Jae-Ha could barely close his eyes. He drifted in and out of sleep, turning his body left and right and waking up with cold sweat running down his back. Alas, even being on watch duty was better than the little sleep he got each night.
In fact, the appearance of these nightmares wasn't entirely without reason, but still Jae-Ha found it foolish. The group had been traveling within Fire Tribe territory for the past month, and with each passing day, they got closer and closer to the hidden Ryokuryuu village. Of course, besides himself and Zeno, no one else knew its location, and the green dragon didn’t know if he should be glad about it or not. On the outside, ignoring the dark circles under his eyes and the one too many times his head flew above the clouds, Jae-Ha seemed like his usual self. Deep down, however, his mind stood constantly on alert, warning him of a danger that would never happen again and as a response, detaching itself from the physical world and its worries.
With each night, the nightmares became more and more realistic, and, simply put, while Jae-Ha hated to admit it, the poor green dragon was scared. At first, they started with the blurred figure of a small child on the ground. The next day, he could distinguish the unkempt, dirty green hair, and in the following one, he could see the metallic shackles that bound him. That child no longer existed; he shouldn’t be having these nightmares of things that happened almost two decades ago.
When a voice called Jae-Ha back to the present moment, the sun had already drowned past the horizon, but some light still lingered on the open area with lots of greenery where Shin-Ah and Yona prepared the tents for the night. With a hand on the waist, Yoon waited for an answer to something Jae-Ha hadn't the slightest clue. Oh, right, prepare camp; Jae-Ha volunteered to fetch some wood — after all, he needed some time alone to prepare himself for another restless night.
Or so he thought.
Already deep in the forest and as if peace had made an enemy out of himself, Jae-Ha suddenly stopped and sighed deeply. “You know you can’t conceal your presence very well,” he turned around, “Kija.”
“Ouch—” The white dragon bumped right into a tree branch when caught in the act.
Jae-Ha involuntarily massaged his nose bridge, letting out another sigh. This is going to be troublesome. He sensed. “You could’ve just said you wanted to fetch wood today, no need for two people to do the same thing.” Noticing the impatient tone in his voice, and before he regretted saying something again, he coughed and tried to put the conversation under his control, “Unless you were so eagerly waiting to be alone with me today, you could’ve just said so, Kija dear."
When Kija came near, the green dragon noticed the determined expression on his face, surely the nonsense Jae-Ha threw at him, to the detriment of his sins, would have little to no effect.
“It's just the two of us now, so could you tell me what’s wrong? Please. You haven't been acting like yourself lately, it's gotten me wor—”
What? Jae-Ha was surely losing the little patience and sanity he had left in him. “Acting like myself? Excuse me, Kija, but who are you to say how I should or shouldn't act—?" Ah, he had done it again, didn't he? Running his mouth wide and wild and only stopping after the damage had already been done. Well done, Jae-Ha, well done. "Sorry, I… I didn't mean to say that…"
“Then, why haven't you used your dragon leg to jump these past few days?” Kija asked instead.
Above them, as if sensing the tense air, a flock of birds flew between tree branches, chirping, while Ao, the squirrel, stuffed at least five acorns inside her mouth. She stood on top of Jae-Ha’s shoulders, watching the two dragons having their 20th quarrel of the week.
Jae-Ha pointed to the ground as if it wasn’t obvious, knowing fully well he was diverting the conversation in the opposite direction. “There’s plenty of wood here.”
“You know that’s not what I asked,” Kija said, and, as if an idea had suddenly hit him, his blue eyes lit up. "Spar with me."
"What?"
"Spar with me."
"What? It's almost dinner time. Yoon will scold us if we don't bring wood soon." Is this kid out of his mind? Jae-Ha tried to put some sense into that white head.
Spending no time mulling over that persuasion, Kija put some power in his dragon hand and charged at the green dragon.
“Wait! Wait! Kija!” Jae-Ha dodged left and right, always with both feet on the ground, never using his power. Had Kija finally lost it from how much Jae-Ha annoyed him? Sure, his personality was quite insufferable sometimes (most times), but still, it never occurred to him that something like this would happen. He knew expressing feelings wasn't Kija’s forte (nor his), but most times, he could guess what went through that innocent white head. Now, however, he hadn’t the slightest idea as to why Kija suddenly reacted this way. “Calm down, Kija! If all you wanted was to spar, you could’ve told me—” (which Kija told him so). He ducked when Kija’s dragon arm swung right where his head had been a fraction of a second ago. Is this guy serious? As soon as he thought that, Jae-Ha took a misstep, and when he finally recovered his balance, he saw five sharp claws coming directly at his throat.
Jae-Ha couldn’t dodge it.
A lie. Entirely a lie; he could if he used his dragon leg to jump, but… It was as if the metallic chains from more than a decade ago were still glued to his scales.
Jae-Ha closed his eyes tightly, held his breath, and braced for deadly pain to hit him. Maybe this wasn’t so bad… Maybe… Just maybe… However, a few seconds passed and nothing happened. No pain from external wounds, no blood running out, his body yet intact. He opened one eye to find Kija’s sharp claws a finger's width apart from his throat and swallowed hard. As much as he tried to, he couldn’t read the expression on Kija’s face; he had never seen him like this. Was it anger? Maybe, but not exactly. It is true that Jae-Ha had said a whole lot of mean things and withheld the truth one too many times, but to provoke this reaction on Kija of all people? Wait. Could it be that Kija had hated him all this time? No, no, no. Scratch that thought, that wasn’t possible. The lack of sleep was truly getting his head.
Surely, his mind must be playing tricks on him. Jae-Ha could swear he saw that pair of blue eyes shining like porcelain and those fine white brows curving upwards for a split second just before their bearer retracted his dragon hand and lowered his arm and head. Kija turned around, mumbled something Jae-Ha did not hear, and left in the direction of their encampment, leaving the green dragon even more confused with his thoughts than he already was.
Dinner was, for the lack of a better word, awkward. Well, maybe only for Jae-Ha because the others did not seem to notice, and even if Shin-Ah or Zeno could do so, they were already used to the green and white dragon's bittersweet quarrels. After the group cleaned everything up, Hak volunteered to be on night watch duty. “I can make you company!” Jae-Ha offered right after in high spirits.
To his demise, however, as if Kija knew the nonsense he was up to, he got up from the thick old log that served as a seat, “Jae-Ha was on watch yesterday. Don’t let him be today as well,” Jae-Ha heard him say. Something burned in his throat when he noticed Kija avoided looking in his direction. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take my leave. Goodnight.”
The rest of the group looked perplexed at Kija as he walked to the big tent. “What got into him?” Yoon asked, stacking the cleaned plates Shin-Ah gave him.
“Who knows, maybe a bug bit him.” Hak shrugged.
“Even so, Kija’s right, Jae-Ha, you should rest tonight,” Yona pointed out.
“Will do, don’t worry, Yona dear.” Jae-Ha smiled and then grinned. “But first, a drink, Hak?” He took out a bottle of sweet wine from who knows where, shaking it twice in his hand.
The moon shone high in the sky when Jae-Ha went to their shared tent, truly wishing his past self had bought more of that wine when they had passed through a small village earlier. Drinking until falling asleep seemed like the perfect idea, but, unfortunately, it wouldn’t happen with just a few cups of wine. Not even a whole bottle. It might have been the first time in his life Jae-Ha cursed his high tolerance to alcohol, something he gained with the years, over the one too many drinks with the crew or courtesans from port towns. The only thing left to do now was to hope and pray for the nightmares to leave him alone tonight. Unfortunately for him, Jae-Ha knew he wasn’t the type to pray, and the nightmares weren’t the type to show mercy.
Inside the tent, the other dragons were already asleep; it could fit up to five people, but when four big guys — including one with a dragon hand and another lying like a starfish — slept side by side, it easily became cramped. Jae-Ha’s only choice was to lie down on the sole free space left, and, to his misfortune, it was right next to Kija.
At long last, the green dragon closed his eyes and fell asleep.
The taste of iron ran in his mouth, his body shivered from the cold, and the air smelled of rust and dirt. He didn’t know how long he had been lying on a cold stone; his only indication was that his bones seemed to be freezing. Slowly turning, he heard a sharp shingle of metal — a familiar and yet strange sound, like it didn’t belong in his life.
Opening his eyes, he found himself in an empty shed made of gray stones. A faint light peeked through the window in front of him, which had been covered by an old cloth, enough to illuminate the whole room. The rain poured outside, drop by drop.
The boy brought his hands to his eyes, and the shingle sound echoed in the air again. Looking to the side, he found the source of that sound: his wrists, bound with old, rusty, thick cuffs, linked with chains and which had been attached to the wall. He sat on the floor and noticed his ankles were also in the same state; however, his right leg had not one, not two, but three sets of those. He touched them, the metal colder than ice, not even his body could warm them up.
He didn’t understand.
The rain got heavier. He listened to it until he heard the sound of people arguing. The elders and someone else. Cursing and yelling. He could swear he heard his own name in the middle of it.
Splash splash. Someone’s footsteps got closer to the shed. Splash splash.
“JAE-HA!” a man shouted as he entered, fury in his voice and loathing in his eyes.
Then, everything went by too fast. The struggles. The screams. The deafening ringing in his ears. And the last thing he saw was a pair of hands going for his neck.
Jae-Ha woke up to his own hands tightening his own neck. Lungs begging for air and his throat as dry as stone. Letting go, he curled his body in despair. How… did it come to this? I'm tired. My own hands. I'm tired. How do I stop this? I'm tired. Just end this already. I'm tired. Please. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired.
He coughed nonstop as his lungs tried to take in fresh air. Should he try to stop it, he would only end up making it worse; this sensation… It seemed to burn him whole, wanting to leave nothing behind, not even his poor soul. Something harrowing.
After a few long and deep breaths, he became aware of his surroundings: glad for Shin-Ah and Zeno’s heavy sleep, his problem now was whether Kija was awake or not. He turned around as slowly and quietly as he could, and, thankfully, the pretty boy was fast asleep.
Their noses stood a palm apart, his thoughts fluttered for a moment and he tried moving his body further back — if Kija woke up right at that moment, Jae-Ha wasn’t sure he had the will to explain himself — however, his back was already leaning on the fabric of the tent. Of course. As he gazed at the man in front of him, he felt a heat coming from his ears, and yet he stood puzzled as to what kind of expression was displayed on his face. As if what had just transpired had been nothing but a bad dream.
Had Kija always looked like this? He wondered. Sure, he knew Kija's beauty was immaculate, but…
Long, white lashes brushed against pale skin, his pink lips parted open as he breathed steadily, and a lock of hair rested on his cheek. The moonlight caressed the white dragon’s face as though they were one. Jae-Ha carefully tucked the lock behind his companion’s ear, his fingers brushing that delicate skin just like the moon.
“How beautiful…” Jae-Ha whispered to no one but himself.
As much as he wanted to keep admiring his fellow dragon brother’s beauty, the horrors seemed to be coming back. After all, it hadn't been a bad dream, but the pure, harsh reality. The constant ringing in his ears echoed inside his mind and reverberated in his bones, and the pain in his throat could no longer be ignored; it stung him like one hundred sharp needles from the inside, and even if he scratched from the outside, it would only make it worse.
In a hurry, he got up and left the tent.
The shock from the cold air brought Jae-Ha closer to the present moment. The night breeze caressed his face, and his lungs no longer suffocated from the claustrophobic and stuffy tent. He took a deep breath in… and a deep breath out.
His purple eyes surrounded the area: Hak stood by the fire with his back against a tree trunk doing the night watch; the flame way diminished from what it had been a few hours ago. Jae-Ha could easily spend the rest of the night with the Thunder Beast like he originally planned, but, truth be told, he couldn’t even bring forth the energy to talk. He just wanted… Peace. Some time alone. It should be for the best.
The soaring green dragon started walking in the opposite direction of the flames, behind the tents, towards the dark night. He walked and walked some more until he found a small lake deep in the forest with greenery all around. A few fireflies flew in circles, and the half moon and stars were reflected on the still surface of the water. The scenario looked almost faerie-like— peaceful, quiet, and beautiful — exactly what he needed.
Approaching the lake, Jae-Ha crouched down in the hopes of soothing his throat with fresh water, but the picturesque scenario that hovered mere seconds ago in that place soon became repugnant to look at. Reflected on the lake were heavy dark circles under his lightless, droopy eyes, his lips dry and chapped, and his skin pale as if he had seen the ghosts of his ancestors. That person wasn’t him. It could not be him. He wasn’t… His breaths went in and out at a faster pace again, making him lose balance and fall to the muddy ground with a yelp. With the sudden movement, small rocks got knocked over into the lake, distorting and erasing all the reflections painted out and the poor fireflies, sensing danger, also dispersed themselves away; the faerie-like scenario ruined. In a rush, he got up, almost losing his balance again and walked. And then he walked some more. No aim in his head and barely any strength in his legs.
An unknown time later, Jae-Ha found himself on a large plateau just outside the forest. Devoid of any trees or large bushes, the green dragon could see the vast land beyond these highlands, the capital of the Fire Tribe, Saika, in its splendor, and various small villages that surrounded it. Further north, on the horizon, were the mountains that border Kouka and North Kai. Jae-Ha got closer to the edge of the plateau, a cliff several meters high. He didn’t need Shin-Ah’s dragon vision, if he simply squinted his eyes… He could see the hidden and disguised Ryokuryuu village.
Right at that time, his dragon leg failed him, and Jae-Ha fell to the ground with a grunt. Panting like the world was crumbling beneath his feet, he lay down on the rocky and arid soil. If he had taken a step forward, he would have been crushed by gravity a few meters below by now — an ironic end for a green dragon warrior, he thought. The burn Jae-Ha felt on his right leg was unlike anything he had felt before; as much as he tried, he couldn’t distinguish if that pain was indeed physical or something his brain created. The last time the green dragon experienced something similar had been when he met the reincarnation of King Hiryuu back in Awa — his blood, boiling hot, seemed to fly backward, and his right leg acted on its own. However, even if painful, he felt some kind of pleasure that called for him to go home, but this? Pure hell. As if someone was slowly plucking the green scales that made the skin of his leg. One. By. One.
Jae-Ha turned his body to the side, bringing his knees to his chest as close as he could. His breath caught in his throat; he felt like suffocating. That was when a little orange-furred animal fell from the sky and landed right on his cheek. Jae-Ha sat upright with a loud yell.
“Pukyuu,” the animal made her characteristic sound.
“O-Oh, it’s just you, Ao,” Jae-Ha said breathlessly, crossing his legs and holding the squirrel in the air. “You almost scared me to death, you little rascal.”
The soft fur and the funny sounds of the squirrel distracted Jae-Ha from the sharp tingle in his leg, but when the scare had subsided, a hand touched his shoulder, and the poor dragon warrior screamed again, turning around and almost tumbling over. He held Ao close to his chest, either to protect the little animal or himself from evil, he didn’t know.
Looking up at the source of his second scare of the night, Jae-Ha locked eyes with two blue eyes.
“I’m sorry. I did not mean to scare you. I thought you heard my steps,” Kija apologized.
Pointing a finger at the two culprits, Jae-Ha tried to catch his breath for the tenth time in just one night, “Both of you—” and just like that, he rendered himself speechless. Not in the sense that he got a third scare in five minutes, quite the contrary, what had just transpired had been so comically funny he couldn't contain his laugh. When he finally stopped, his eyes were teary and his belly hurt silly. Right there, when he looked up, something else entirely caught his attention. The moonlight illuminated the figure in front of him, casting shadows behind; the skin so pale it almost seemed translucent, the hair so white that it could have been made of snow, and the eyes so blue it reminded the former pirate of Awa’s vast sea.
Jae-Ha had always found those white robes to be quite odd; they reminded him of funeral clothes, which made Kija easily mistaken for a ghost, especially under the shine of the moon. There had even been a time when the group had stayed at an inn to spend the night and, when morning came, other guests swore the place had to be haunted as they had seen a spirit walking in the poorly lit corridors. It turned out that said ghost had been none other than Kija, who simply had gone to soothe his thirst in the middle of the night. Needless to say, the group, more accurately, Hak and Jae-Ha, made fun of that situation for days. Alas, Jae-Ha was getting further from his point. What he wanted to say was that those same white robes — always spotless and pristine — had never suited the younger man so well until now, and if Jae-Ha didn’t know better, he would think an angel had come to take him.
“Your presence felt weird. It was so faint I was afraid something had happened,” the haunting ghost disguised as an angel, or maybe the other way around, interrupted Jae-Ha’s thought process. His presence? Right. He hadn’t felt that white either — so soothing it could calm the most fiercest of storms in the sea — until Kija appeared in front of his eyes; now that he could feel it so close, a familiar sense of tranquility washed over him. The green dragon gazed at the other in awe, not understanding how powerful the presence of another could be.
Purple eyes followed the white dragon as he crouched down in front of them; worry still layered on his eyes when he came face to face with the poor green dragon. “I apologize for bringing this topic up again. I understand why you got mad at me earlier when I forced an answer out of you, but please just listen to me till the end." He sat down, and before Jae-Ha could open his mouth to word out his regret, Kija signaled him to wait and continued, "I have not talked with Shin-Ah or Zeno about this, but the three of us can feel you have not been yourself lately. At least I can feel it, Jae-Ha, and it's as terrifying as the memories I have of my father's last moments…" Jae-Ha could guess Kija carefully chose his words when speaking; he couldn't help but find it endearing to be as calm as the white that involved him and as caring as the voice that called his name. "I understand now that the four of us did not live a life of luxury and reverence as I did. I might not be the best to advise on something I have never experienced, but the least I can do is listen to you. Just as you like when we lean on you in times of need, so do we when you are the one going through something. There’s no point in trying to deny that something isn’t wrong. The four dragon warriors are like brothers: we fight the same battles, share the same struggles, and protect the same master until the heavens call for us to return. We’re connected in ways I know you find bothersome. I know you would prefer me to mind my business and not have this conversation, but… the green trail was so faint I—”
“I don’t find it bothersome,” Jae-Ha blurted out, surprised by his own words, ones he would never have said a few months ago. Back in Awa, he had wanted nothing to do with the four dragons and a supposed master whom he would have to follow and obey. Jae-Ha had wanted freedom from it all, but freedom had been there all along, in the arms of his new home. Jae-Ha averted his own gaze to the side. “I… don’t mind your presence.” That white seemed to increase by the second, involving his own and almost blinded him. Has it ever been like this?
Kija smiled the purest of smiles, and Jae-Ha could feel his cheeks slightly flushing when he looked back at the white dragon. He thanked the heavens above that Kija didn’t have Shin-Ah’s vision. Kija adjusted his sit to be closer, straightened the tail of his cape behind him and finally crossed his legs. "Jae-Ha… Your neck…"
Instinctively, Jae-Ha flinched when he saw a hand towards his neck. Ridiculous, he thought right after, there was no danger to be found — after all, he trusted the man in front of him with his life. He was safe. The hand retracted itself and Jae-Ha caught it midway, locking eyes for a moment before bringing it back to the side of his neck. No words needed to be said. Silence carried them all.
It was colder than he expected when compared to the warmth of his body, but not unpleasant. In fact, his body relaxed as he nuzzled on it, making it easier to breathe. On the other hand, he felt Kija tensing up, surprised by Jae-Ha's action, but slowly softening as time passed.
After a few moments, he asked, “Why is it that your presence feels so faint?” Jae-Ha saw the man’s expression change as if a frightening idea occurred to him, “Don’t tell me… Could it really be that a new green dragon was born? Is that why you didn’t use your power earlier today?”
In reality, Jae-Ha hadn’t thought of that possibility before, but when he closed his eyes and focused his mind, and with his village so close by, he couldn’t feel any other green presence — only the pain in his leg remained. He shook his head, and Kija breathed a sigh of relief. “Is that why you wanted to spar with me earlier?”
Kija hummed, and a while passed before he spoke again with grief in his voice, “I thought you were losing your power. My only guess was that a new dragon had been born, but I couldn’t feel its presence… I refused to believe such a thing, nor did I feel like it was my place to confront you about it. That is why I couldn’t help but test your power…"
The tingle in Jae-Ha’s dragon leg intensified, and he clutched it with one of his hands to endure the pain. Not now. I beg of you.
“Is it your leg?” Kija, with his hand still caressing the other's neck, asked despite Jae-Ha’s efforts to hide it.
“Let’s say, it’s been disobedient.”
The two dragons locked eyes once more, and it seemed that the worry the white one held had increased tenfold upon seeing his fellow dragon brother in pain. ‘Would you let me see it, Jae-Ha, please’ written all over his face; he could almost hear Kija’s voice inside his head. That voice also didn’t bother him; he had grown used to its subtle mannerisms, like Kija’s soft accent and formal way of speaking, or even the cute stuttering when he got embarrassed. Unfortunately, Jae-Ha couldn’t keep contemplating the imaginary voice in his head, as what it asked was indeed quite demanding for him.
Even though Jae-Ha found himself to be fairly handsome and attractive, there had always been a part of his body that he despised. It had been both the cause of his misery and, at the same time, of his freedom. A curse and a blessing. Ugly, not beautiful at all. Why did it need to be hard to the touch, covered in scales, and have pointy nails like he was some wild beast? Yes, Jae-Ha knew it was the power of the dragons or something of the sort, but why couldn’t his leg appear normal, like a human, and still be powerful? He wouldn’t need to hide it from the public when he went to the beach for a swim, to a hot spring, or even if it was too hot in the summer.
Alas, the truth is that Kija and the others had already seen his dragon leg a few times, and, of course, Kija, being the one with the white dragon power in his arm, had been excited for Jae-Ha to show him the green scales on his leg. Jae-Ha had been prepared for the white dragon to make a fuss the moment it happened; however, when Jae-Ha had appeared with his dragon leg exposed for the first time, Kija had simply smiled as he looked in his direction and continued speaking. Whether Kija had felt empathy or disappointment at that moment, Jae-Ha hadn’t asked, suddenly afraid of the answer.
A breeze brought him back to the present moment. He lifted his long, purple robe and untucked the beige pants from his high-ankle boots, but as soon as he started unbuttoning them, he was interrupted.
“Wait. Jae-Ha.” Kija raised his hand. “Are you sure? Do not force yourself. It’s fine if you don’t want to; I understand.”
“Do you not want to see it?” Jae-Ha lifted his head to meet Kija’s eyes, a hint of surprise in them.
“Well, yes, of course!” Kija straightened his back. “But you never show your dragon leg to us unless extremely necessary. What you should ask yourself instead, Jae-Ha, is if you want to show it to me.”
Why is this kid giving a lecture like he’s older and wiser than me? Jae-Ha thought to himself, surprised by Kija’s words. His eyes were drawn to the white scales that covered the younger man’s hand and arm. In their essence, they were truly the same as his, just a different color. So why would they look hideous on him but beautiful on Kija?
Kija, noticing Jae-Ha’s stare, displayed the inner side of his arm, with his palm facing upwards. “Jae-Ha,” he called, “Do you find my arm unsightly?”
Jae-Ha looked up once more. “What?”
“Am I a monster to you for being covered in white scales and having nails that look like sharp claws?” Kija kept asking. “Should I not be proud of the gift the Heavens bestowed me to protect our master?” And just before Jae-Ha could come up with an answer he didn’t have, Kija seemed to have read his mind. “Then why do you think of yourself that way?”
Purple eyes blinked twice as Jae-Ha was left puzzled. This might very well be the first time he didn’t have something to say, to counterattack, or to simply change the topic.
To be fair, the green dragon didn’t know. Jae-Ha couldn’t even begin to imagine Kija that way. That would mean disrespecting his principles, and Jae-Ha knew a thing or two about that, even if he had been proven wrong.
Unconsciously, Jae-Ha brought his hand to Kija’s dragon arm, but before his skin even touched the scales, he retracted it. Instead, Kija gently grabbed the hand that had come his way, lightly squeezing and rubbing its knuckles with his thumb.
Even if the scales were hard, the touch was as soft as skin. Warm as human beings. They shone brightly with the moonlight.
“You don’t need to be afraid of it,” Kija said softly. “We’re the only ones with scales on our bodies. They are our weapons and our shields. If we think ill and discard them, what will be of us?”
Jae-Ha reciprocated the touch by properly holding Kija’s dragon hand in his, and instead of replying, he finished unbuttoning his boot and finally took it off.
Green scales covered his right leg up to his knee, and the sharp nails of his toes were visible.
“Maybe it’s the annoying dragon blood inside me that’s telling me this, but,” Jae-Ha started, “I feel comfortable with showing you my leg… Your presence… It calms me down," he confessed.
Kija smiled at those words, and Jae-Ha thought that maybe he had said too much. “May I?” Kija asked instead, reaching his human hand toward the green scales. Jae-Ha nodded his head, giving permission.
Besides his predecessor, no other person had touched the scales on his legs. For Jae-Ha, it was akin to taboo, letting another touch that part of him, and yet, when Kija gently laid his hand on it, it couldn’t have been further from what he expected. He expected the touch to be foreign, that he would have to swallow the hard repulsed feeling in his throat and find some foolish excuse. Meanwhile, he felt Kija’s warm palm and its soft, delicate skin. There was extreme care in those slender fingers as the white dragon slowly caressed his leg up and down.
Jae-Ha felt the tips of his ears growing red and hot by the second. When he looked at the other man’s face, it still seemed to be unfazed: Kija kept gazing at the green scale, completely unaware of the intimacy of the moment.
Just when Jae-Ha was about to speak, Kija said, “It feels normal to the touch.” He thought for a moment. “Can I touch it with my other hand—” and only when Kija said those words did both of them notice that they were still holding hands. Human and dragon hand. “Sorry, I-I hadn’t noticed…” A hint of blush finally appeared in that beautiful face as Kija averted his gaze.
The green dragon couldn’t lie; he, too, hadn’t noticed their hands still intertwined. It felt so natural to him to hold it that he had forgotten about it. His hand, now empty of Kija’s warmth, already longed to touch it again. Instead of backing away and fighting the urge to relieve that longing, his hand searched for the other once more. Jae-Ha caught both of Kija’s hands in his as they rested nervously on the white robes and brought them back to his leg.
As soon as white scales came in touch with green, a spark ignited between them.
In an instant, the numbness and pain Jae-Ha had felt in his leg subsided as if it had never been there in the first place. It felt so healthy, leaving him wondering if the night had been nothing but a foolish hallucination. His mind too became instantly clearer, without any fog haunting its corners, flowing down his throat to his chest and clutching his heart. The person who had been squeezing his beating heart for days suddenly let go, leaving only a sense of sorrow behind in its tracks.
Strangely, even with those feelings gone in the blink of an eye, a foreign worry appeared in his body, tightening his chest and stomach. Jae-Ha didn’t understand where this feeling came from; it almost seemed like it didn’t belong to him in the first place. That it had simply been shared with his person.
With steady breaths, Jae-Ha finally removed his gaze from the hands that gently wrapped his leg to their owner. Kija stood there immovable with his eyes fixed in purple irises. From them, a single tear fell down towards his mouth.
“What's wrong? Did my scales hurt you?” Jae-Ha asked with surprise, noticing that the worry in his voice was too familiar to how Kija sounded moments ago. He caught that salty drop of water near the corner of Kija’s lips, excusing himself from leaving a soft caress in the other’s cheek.
Kija cleaned the rest of that lonely tear with his sleeve before speaking. “Is this what you’ve been feeling lately?” He hugged both his arms. “This suffocating tightness? These dreadful, lonely thoughts? This… This pain?” Kija paused with a pitiful expression on his face, shooting right into the poor green dragon’s heart.
No need to be an expert in the field to understand what had just transpired. Jae-Ha concluded that part of what he felt had been shared with Kija when their dragon limbs came in touch. No doubt about the source of the foreign worry in his heart either. It all made sense.
Had their link always been this strong? Could this happen between the four dragons or just between Hakuryuu and Ryokuryuu? Or just between Kija and Jae-Ha? Questions like those invaded Jae-Ha’s mind, but when he tried to convey them, he was immediately interrupted.
“Kija dear—”
“Why did you not tell us you felt like this? We could’ve helped you, Jae-Ha! We could’ve shared your burdens, heard you, anything…” Kija’s voice was a mix of pain and anger that Jae-Ha had never seen before. “I could… I would… Why didn’t you tell—?” Me. His voice got lower and lower with each word. That one syllable had been nothing but the whisper of the wind.
Hearing those words coming out of his companion’s mouth did more damage to him than he would’ve possibly thought. Why didn’t you tell me? Those words left a bitter taste when he swallowed dryly.
Jae-Ha took a deep breath before getting up and dragging his legs to the edge of the cliff. Sitting there with his feet hanging from the rocky precipice, he gestured for Kija to follow him.
Kija adjusted his robes as he sat cross-legged on the green dragon’s left side. He tried to follow his line of sight, but, despite his efforts, all the small villages looked ordinarily the same, except for the massive spots of light coming from the capital of the Fire Tribe. Looking back at Jae-Ha, Saika could be ruled out as his eyes focused further to the side.
The white dragon did nothing besides patiently waiting for Jae-Ha to collect his thoughts and feelings, and after some time had passed, it happened. “Do you see that small village over there?” Jae-Ha pointed with his indicator. His voice cracked at the beginning of that sentence, not sure it was ready to share part of himself.
“That one?”
Noticing that Kija pointed to somewhere slightly off the place he had mentioned, Jae-Ha got closer to his partner to put himself in his line of sight. The two dragon warriors were now so close that they could feel the warmth from each other’s cheeks where Jae-Ha’s green hair brushed against, slightly tickling the other.
Jae-Ha adjusted that hand, his fingers lightly touching the white, warm scales. “There,” he said, and when Kija finally saw what he was talking about, Jae-Ha let go of the dragon hand, distancing himself.
“That’s Ryokuryuu Village,” he said, placing his hand next to his leg, “where the bearers of the green dragon’s blood are born.” Jae-Ha paused for a moment to choose his next sentence. “Life there couldn’t be further off compared to Hakuryuu Village.”
Something heavy had come to lie on top of his hand. Jae-Ha didn’t need to look to know it was the same hand he had been holding a few moments ago, thinking that this was Kija’s way of encouraging him. Jae-Ha couldn’t be more grateful.
With that pleasant heaviness on his hand, the green dragon shared his past with his dragon brother. He mentioned the shackles that bound his feet and wrists, taking away his freedom and his desire to fly in the skies. His many attempts to escape that were followed by multiple beatings by his predecessor, Garou. How he came to be a pirate under Captain Gigan’s care. Jae-Ha tried to keep it light and not give too much detail for Kija’s sake, just the necessary for him to understand.
Jae-Ha, despite it all, even if he could not bring himself to forgive his predecessor, he couldn’t hate him. Even when he had beaten Jae-Ha to a pulp every other day, Garou wouldn’t lift a single finger towards the villagers. Even if they had chained him as they did with Jae-Ha, Garou wouldn’t dare use his power on them. Despite it all, everything had been done for the sake of the village and its people. Despite it all, Jae-Ha knew Garou had nowhere else to go.
Maybe that had been the only thing he admired about his predecessor. Jae-Ha didn’t know, had he stayed there, if he wouldn't have done the same. Maybe he would’ve gone mad first. But Jae-Ha knew that if they had allowed him to use his power, to come and go as he pleased, trouble would find them sooner or later. He understood it now.
The day his predecessor lost his powers, Jae-Ha saw how Garou’s leg failed him when he tried to stop his escape. How easy it was to win and how beautifully human Garou looked. He had tripped and fallen like any other.
Jae-Ha saw Garou launching himself towards the villagers without a second thought when a bow and an arrow targeted his person. Struggling to break those bows without hurting anyone. Fighting with his hands as his power no longer existed, or rather, it existed, but inside Jae-Ha.
Garou’s last words had finally shredded Jae-Ha’s heart into a million pieces. Those screams and wails, that hate towards the one who had stolen the sacred power. It pained him to remember something that had been carved in his heart and mind for so long.
Idiot! Who would go with the likes of you?! I have already gotten tired of you! Leave! Go wherever you want alone! Fly away! I hate the likes of you! If you were gone, I would be so happy! Don’t come back ever again! Idiot!
Jae-Ha had seen the tears in his predecessor's eyes as he leaped away, knowing fully well he didn’t mean any of those words.
When the green dragon finished telling the truth behind his past, the moon had flown her beauty to the horizon, but the first rays of morning sunlight were still a couple of hours away from making an appearance in the skies. His hand now shared the same temperature as the one above it, almost as if the two hands had become one; Kija had not let go the entire time. He wouldn’t dare to.
Jae-Ha took a deep breath as he looked at that source of light descending into the sky. When he was younger, he would spend the warm nights watching the moon rise and the chilly days watching the shadows cast by the sun. Jealous that they could freely fly in the skies while he remained imprisoned inside a stone house. Now his jumps brought him closer to those two astronomical objects, and, if Jae-Ha extended his hand, he could almost caress their warmth; fly with them and not simply watch the freedom his body and mind craved slip between his fingers.
The heavy bricks Jae-Ha had been carrying over his shoulders had increased in weight and volume over the past few days; a powerful hand, covered in scales as white as the moonlight, had slowly removed them, one by one, piece by piece, until the bloodied skin on Jae-Ha’s back came into sight. Meanwhile, in reality, Kija had done nothing except lend an ear to his troubled partner, but to Jae-Ha, it had been much more than that. Kija sought him out, followed his presence, and quite literally shared the burden of Jae-Ha’s suffering.
Jae-Ha closed his eyes, feeling the calm, white presence on his side slowly enveloping him. He couldn’t exactly make words of these feelings, but a connection that hadn’t been there before came to the surface; some sort of mutual understanding, synchronized heartbeats and synchronized breaths. He felt his hand being gently squeezed, and after a few moments hearing the tinkering in Kija’s head, the boy simply asked him after sorting his thoughts out:
“Do you think you’re able to use your powers now?”
Jae-Ha got up and helped Kija do the same. With the usual stupid and cocky grin back on his face, he replied, “Let’s find out?”
As soon as he said his piece of mischief, Jae-Ha jumped from the cliff, bringing the surprised white dragon with him.
"JAE-HAAAA!" The poor Kija screamed his lungs out, almost crushing Jae-Ha's hand with his power.
And Jae-Ha laughed. Laughed. Laughed and laughed. Not like a madman beyond salvation but as someone whose worries had finally been washed away. He felt like he could touch the moon before she entered the horizon. Run from one border of Kouka to the other. Or even defeat an entire army by himself.
Someone free.
Midway through free fall, Jae-Ha grabbed teary-eyed Kija by the waist and held him in his arms. Hands strongly grabbed the fabric of his clothes, almost tearing it apart; it amused Jae-Ha to no end, but he wasn't so heartless as not show any mercy to this person. And so, forehead with forehead, Jae-Ha whispered, "No need to be afraid, Kija dear. I won't let you fall." Both from grace and from high ground.
The landing was as smooth as flower petals falling from the skies. Jae-Ha's dragon foot absorbed all the energy so that not even a grain of dirt touched the white of Kija's hair and clothes. And before Kija could put both his feet firm on the ground, Jae-Ha hopped in the air again, flying the skies with his companion in his arms until the very first rays of sunlight dyed the sky an orange hue.
Luckily or not, when they got to the encampment, Zeno had switched places with Hak when the former woke up while everyone else was still asleep. The yellow dragon gave the pair an endearing smile, so characteristic of him. "It seems Hakuryuu and Ryokuryuu were able to talk things out." Zeno looked at their intertwined hands. "Oh! And Ryokuryuu's presence is much greener and livelier now! It's even hugging Hakuryuu!"
Jae-Ha could feel the tips of his ears heating up; he couldn't believe he got busted. The trail of his presence did what his mind wanted and what his body was afraid of — something funny considering how the intimacy of their relationship grew overnight. Still, he felt embarrassed. When he looked to the side, Kija's cheeks up to his ears were a solid red and Jae-Ha felt his body tense up — he didn't know who got it worse, him or Kija.
"W-We should catch up on some sleep before the others wake up," Jae-Ha said in a hurry, heading towards the tent with Kija following him.
"Make sure to snuggle! The mornings have been quite cold. Sleep tight!"
That little— Jae-Ha cursed to himself. Sometimes, he wished Zeno would pretend to be oblivious to some things just as he was to others.
Meanwhile, Shin-Ah had just woken up as well and was about to leave the tent, leaving the other two dragons by themselves.
"Do you think you can sleep now?" Kija asked as he took off his outer layers and covered himself with a warm blanket
"I'm… not sure," Jae-Ha replied, doing the same. Now that he had gotten back to the tent, an anxious feeling rose again in his chest. What if the nightmares came again? Sure, his leg was back to normal, if not even better, but what if the worries in his head didn't leave him? Jae-Ha couldn't handle one more sleepless night. Of nightmares and other things he didn't dare mention. What if this had all been for nothing? He couldn't, he just couldn't. Chains. Shackles. Hands. Neck—
Something warm came to rest on his back, making him come back to the present moment. Kija's forehead rested there as his human hand gently stroked Jae-Ha's arm up and down. "My late mother used to do this when I had trouble sleeping," Kija said, "It worked like a charm. I hope I'm not overstepping."
Jae-Ha's eyelids were heavy, barely able to muster these words out loud. "Never… Kija… Dear…"
And right before Jae-Ha fell into the most peaceful sleep he had gotten in his life, he heard the words, confusing them for a dream: You are truly worthy of the name Ryokuryuu.