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“So, wait, let me get this straight,” Shaoyou puts a hand in front of him, to stop and recall everything Gao Tu has said, “You mean Shen Wenlang asked you to come with him for an out of town trip before your graduation and because you’re so in love with the dumbass–”
“Hey–”
“—That you agreed on the spot. Now, you’re inviting me. Me. So I can be the third wheel and be your emotional support.” Shaoyou concluded, looking at Gao Tu as if he had lost his mind.
Well, sometimes, Shaoyou does think that the love his best friend has for that alpha has eroded all the intelligence in Gao Tu. Which is sad, Gao Tu is a smart guy. He has excelled in his chosen course, will even be graduating on Monday, and yet here he was: accepting a last minute trip from Shen Wenlang.
“Please, Shaoyou.” Gao Tu begged, dropping to his knees and using his, what Shaoyou dubs as, doe eyes. “You know I can’t do this alone. I need a moral compass.”
Shaoyou winces at their position. Before he replies to Gao Tu’s begging, he puts both of his hands on the omega’s arms and pulls him to sit with him on the bed instead. “Okay, one, stop begging like that. You know I hate when you do that.” Gao Tu pouts at that, an apology already on his lips but Shaoyou has silenced him with a glare, “Two, you’re graduating on Monday. Monday, Gao Tu! That’s four days from now, what the hell?”
“He said he wanted to treat me out before we both graduated.” Gao Tu bristles at that, hearing just how personal Wenlang’s request sounded, making his ears turn red, “Please, Shaoyou. This would be the last time, I promise.”
“You said that last time.”
“No, I’m serious this time.” Gao Tu replies, flexing his fingers before continuing, “Ten years is a long time and I think it’s time to move on.”
That takes Shayou’s attention back to the omega, who is now looking down at the floor–embarrassed to even admit the years he had been in love with the other alpha.
“You–Gao Tu, what do you mean?” Shaoyou had to ask, bewildered that such words had even come out of his friend. Hell, he thought Gao Tu would continue loving Shen Wenlang until his very last breath.
This is new.
Gao Tu shrugs, “When I graduate, I plan on letting go of everything.” He mumbles, twiddling with his thumbs, “My dad found a job in another city. He said the payroll could handle Gao Qing’s hospital bills, and I’m about to look for work now too since I have graduated by then,” He took in a breath, “I’m leaving, Shaoyou.”
The clock ticks, the wind brushes past the open window, and Shaoyou felt his heart drop but at the same time felt like it slowly mended itself.
For the ten years that Gao Tu loved Shen Wenlang, the omega had chosen the alpha again and again. Followed where the alpha went during high school then at college, stood by his side even if it meant that Shaoyou and Wenlang could only tolerate each other because of Gao Tu, and not to mention the thousands of sacrifices Gao Tu did in between those years.
This time, even if it was at the cost of leaving, Gao Tu is finally choosing himself.
Shaoyou felt sad at the prospect that his best friend is leaving but more than that, his heart finally felt at peace. His friend would no longer be trapped in this unrequited love he had with Shen Wenlang.
Though, once, he did think the other alpha had shown interest in Gao Tu – could even scent the attraction. He’s not entirely sure when it stopped.
“...Okay.”
Gao Tu perks up at that, eyes glinting under the rays of the sun shining through the windows, “What?”
“I said, okay,” Shaoyou repeated, rolling his eyes, albeit a little fondly, “Did that alpha take your comprehension too?”
“You’re agreeing that easily?” Gao Tu asks, moving impossibly closer to Shaoyou, “No trading of anything or a truce?” He asks more, hands already on Shaoyou’s biceps due to his excitement.
“You’ve literally given me an ultimatum, Tu.” Shaoyou responds, “It’s either you get this last chance to be with Shen Wenlang or you leave with so much regret that you won’t even be able to move on in peace.” He rolls his eyes again, “That would make me the bad guy, wouldn’t it?”
Gao Tu pouts again before squeezing himself next to Shaoyou, “Thank you, thank you!” He tells him, a smile replacing the pout he previously had. He smiles so wide that it’s impossible for Shaoyou to even think of taking back his consent to be on this godforsaken trip.
“One thing though,” Shaoyou mentions casually, sparing a side glance to the omega clinging on his arms.
“Sure, what is it?” Gao Tu immediately replies, leaning back a bit to face the alpha. He sounded serious and so Gao Tu wanted to make sure that Shaoyou knows he’s listening.
“Were you not even planning to tell me that you’ll be leaving?!”
“Why the fuck did you two decided we will be leaving at fuck-ass o’clock?” Shaoyou complained by the backseat, already leaning back on the headrest to get some sleep.
Gao Tu smiles sheepishly at Wenlang, “Sorry,” He tells the alpha, “He curses a lot when his sleep is disrupted.”
Shen Wenlang huffs by the driver’s seat, “He could have not joined if it was against his will.”
Gao Tu reaches out a hand to Shaoyou’s knee, gripping it for a moment before loosening, “No, it’s okay. He said so himself,” The omega spares one look at the other alpha on the backseat, definitely cursing him with his eyes, “Like I said, he just doesn’t like waking up at three in the morning.”
For safety measure, Gao Tu tightens his grip once and then lets go. Behave, Gao Tu orders to which Shaoyou hears loudly and clearly even if there were no words said.
“My bad, Shen.” Shaoyou says, moving around the backseat to find a good place to sleep, “Not really a morning person. Don’t worry, he’s right, I did want to join for the trip,” He says as Wenlang starts the engine, “And in my good conscience, I can’t let an omega be alone with an alpha for three days and two nights.”
Gao Tu blushes by the passenger seat before laughing awkwardly, “He’s joking,” He tells Wenlang before hitting Shaoyou, “Can you just fucking sleep?”
“I am! I am!” Shaoyou says, putting his hands up in surrender, “Wake me up when we’re there.”
Shen Wenlang laughs under his breath, clearly amused by how they were acting. It even shows in the small amount of pheromones he’s releasing and honestly, it takes everything in Gao Tu not to inhale more of his iris.
“You act like that,” Wenlang points out, eyes on the road now that they’re moving, “And then question why people on campus ask if you two are mated?”
The omega groans by his side, “We’ve talked about this, Wenlang!” Gao Tu says, rolling his eyes. A trait he had picked up from Shaoyou – which, okay, makes sense why people would say things about them, “Me and Shaoyou would probably kill each other before we could even think of marking one another.”
“I wouldn’t kill you, though.” Shaoyou pipes from the back.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping!”
Shaoyou lets out a laugh before finally, finally trying to get himself to sleep.
“See?” Wenlang says again, “Your words contradict his, no wonder people don’t believe you.”
Gao Tu blinks for a moment before looking at the side profile of the alpha he has loved for so long, “But you believe me, right?”
Wenlang hums, “I’ll believe you if you put your playlist back on.” He says before smiling, “This is hours long drive, Tu. I might feel lonely if you don’t put something on.”
Will you be lonely if I won’t be here anymore to join you in such long drives? Gao Tu brushes off the thought as quickly as it came. He focuses instead on trying to connect his device with the car’s bluetooth.
He puts on the playlist which, Gao Tu assumed, is Wenlang’s favorite. It always brings a small smile to his face because the playlist was actually songs that Gao Tu has dedicated to Wenlang.
Gao Tu has played this playlist multiple times, whenever Wenlang asks him to accompany him for random drives. He often adds more songs to it when he finds more of them that just screams Shen Wenlang and his feelings for him.
Sometimes, Gao Tu wonders if Wenlang could read in between the lines – could read the pining, longing, and the yearning in each song on the playlist. If, maybe, he could recognize the words that Gao Tu has not said out loud.
Ten years.
Those songs encompass the feelings he had kept for ten years.
As he spared a glance at Shaoyou at the back, Gao Tu thought back to their conversation and — yeah, ten years is enough.
Even if he doesn’t know it, Shen Wenlang has been loved by Gao Tu and that’s all that matters now.
“You sure Sheng would be okay in there?” Wenlang asked, looking back at the car where they left Shaoyou in — the engine still on, much to Wenlang’s dismay — so they could stop by at a convenience store to get coffee.
Apparently, even a morning person like Shen Wenlang could not even fight the drowsiness when he’s faced with the night sky and a wide road. So, Gao Tu told him they could stop at a convenience store to drink coffee before they hit the expressway.
Gao Tu waves his hand in the air, “He’ll be okay.” he says before returning to his hot coffee, “He’ll even be more pissed if we wake him up just for this.” He points to the extra snacks they have bought which were put in a plastic bag, “I bought his favorite drink and snack in there as a compensation, he’ll live.”
Wenlang lets out a small laugh, his smile hidden in his own cup. Gao Tu almost felt sad at the thought. “You know when he gets mad, his favorite drink, and snack,” He says before looking at Gao Tu playfully, “I feel like I’m more of the third wheel in this trip.”
“Wenlang!” Gao Tu groans, already fed up with how the alpha is pushing him with his best friend. He had never wanted to scream I like you, idiot! so bad in his life, as a means to end Wenlang’s thoughts of him and Shaoyou. That would be weird, though. Especially in an almost empty convenience store. Instead, he just says, “I also know yours too, by the way. Would that make me a possible mate for you?”
The alpha stiffens for a second. It’s the only sign that Gao Tu needed for his brain to send warning signals, “Joke!” He catches on, “I was joking!”
Wenlang laughs behind his own cup of coffee, “You’re way too energetic for this time of the day,” He comments before stretching his limbs. Gao Tu has a second to glimpse at the tan skin that was revealed before looking away. “I wonder how long your energy will last.”
Gao Tu snorts, “I could stay awake until we reach our destination.”
Wenlang squints his eyes, finding amusement in Gao Tu’s stubbornness, “Liar,” He says as he flicks Gao Tu’s forehead, “You can sleep if you want to, don’t be stubborn.”
And miss the remaining moments I could stare at you like this? Gao Tu thinks, accompanied by a heavy feeling settling on his chest.
He would miss Wenlang. Hell, he hasn’t even graduated yet but he already misses him. The moving on process he had planned for himself would definitely hurt.
I love you, Shen Wenlang. He confesses inside his head, watching Shen Wenlang pick up both of their empty cups to dispose of them. I’ve loved you for ten years now.
As if the universe is planting some sick joke against him, it was the same time that Shen Wenlang turned around for him, just after throwing their cups, and then sent him a smile — the same smile that Gao Tu had fallen for and shit. He is a fucking fool for thinking that he can unlove this man.
“Let’s go?”
Gao Tu swallows down his confession, bottled them all up inside his chest, far away from where Shen Wenlang could see.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Leave it to Shen Wenlang to absolutely surprise the fuck out of Gao Tu.
All the man told him was to pack some clothes, something light, refreshing, and to not overdo it. He had asked multiple times where he was taking them to which Wenlang just shrugged and said, “It’s a surprise.”
And surprise he did.
The guy had them booked hotel rooms near the beach, stating that Gao Tu had always wanted to unwind after their finals but never got to do it. Gao Tu tried to control his emotion, he really did! He even tried to bite his lip to prevent a smile from forming – hoping he doesn’t come across as way too giddy that Wenlang’s whole plan started with him.
Try as he might, he’s still an omega in love with this stupid alpha beside him.
“What the fuck, Shen,” Shaoyou cursed as Wenlang parks the car, “How much do we owe you for this trip?”
Wenlang waved his hand in the air, still focused on the task at hand, “Don’t worry about it,” He says, “I have connections.”
“Are you sure you’re not in the mafia, Shen?” Shaoyou asks once more, “You only asked Gao Tu the other day and for some magical reason, you were able to book a hotel this close to the shore.”
The other alpha could only chuckle under his breath, “Relax, Sheng, I am not involved in some messy schemes,” He says just as he puts the car to a stop, “I know people. Besides, it’s about Gao Tu, I’d pull any necessary strings if I have to.”
Before the friends could react, Wenlang steps out of the car to answer a call, leaving them dumbfounded.
“If it’s about Gao Tu,” Shaoyou repeated slowly, then let out an indignant scoff, “Not even a full hour since we’ve arrived and I’m already a third wheel.”
Blushing even more, Gao Tu hits him where his hands could reach, “Why do you alphas like to say stuff like that?!” He exclaims, “Do you know how messed up that is? I almost thought I had a chance.”
Shaoyou huffs again, “See, I told you.” He says, sparing a glare at the omega, “This wouldn’t be the last time you’re telling me you’re moving on from him. He has you hooked.”
Hook, line, and sinker. Shaoyou’s fucking right.
Gao Tu would rather die first than admit that, though. “Let’s just get out of here.”
For some reason, and to Gao Tu’s horror, Shaoyou agrees that Wenlang can share a room with Gao Tu while he takes the other one.
“It’s supposedly your trip,” Shaoyou explains to his friend who’s about to combust from sharing a room with the other alpha, “I was just here for the ride and emotional support, so I think it’s much better if you stay with him.”
“But–”
“He planned this trip for you, Tu.” Shaoyou emphasizes, silencing the omega, “So, at least, give him that? If he ever does anything, I’m next door.”
Again, Shaoyou is right. Gao Tu is starting to hate it whenever Shaoyou is right.
Out of rebuttals and excuses, Gao Tu just nodded. “See you later?” He says, offering an apologetic smile, “Wenlang wanted to watch the sunset by the beach.”
Shaoyou could only laugh, ruffling Gao Tu’s hair as he did so, “Of course, little rabbit.”
It seemed like, after knowing that the trip was supposedly for Gao Tu, Shaoyou has been putting in effort to make sure that Gao Tu and Wenlang are always next to one another.
He had noticed it when they first went down for lunch. Shaoyou had offered to stay at the table while Gao Tu and Wenlang got theirs first, stating he’ll get his own plate after them — which leads to Gao Tu being alone with Shen Wenlang. Again.
Next, Shaoyou had purposely sat on the other side of the table, making Gao Tu and Wenlang sit next to each other. It was embarrassing, if he’s being honest. Yet, he can’t find it in himself to care when his arm brushes against Wenlang's every movement.
Gao Tu hopes Shen Wenlang doesn't notice the subtle goosebumps whenever it happens.
Then they’re here: Gao Tu sitting in the middle of two alphas, with one of them intentionally shoving him further next to the love of his life.
He wanted to be mad at Shaoyou – really, he did – but he can’t feel any ounce of madness within him when it's drowned out by Wenlang’s warmth against him. The alpha’s pheromones waft softly in the air, making Gao Tu take a deep breath and let it settle on his lungs. In his heart.
“I really love sunsets,” Wenlang whispered next to him, still staring at the horizon. “It usually means that there’s another day we can be better.”
Gao Tu turns to him, staring at the side of his face. For me, it usually means another day of being in love with you. “Yeah,” Gao Tu nods, looking back at the horizon, “I guess you could say that.”
They were both enveloped in silence for a while until Wenlang’s phone buzzed in his pocket. The alpha fishes it out, grunting as he stands up to take the call. “I’ll be back,” Wenlang says to them, already distracted by the phone.
Gao Tu can only watch as he disappears into somewhere, already missing his warmth.
“One more look and I think he’ll realize you’re in love with him.”
Gao Tu hits him first before looking at him, “I needed you here to be my moral compass, not to fuel my years-long infatuation on him!” He exclaims, “I have seen what you are doing since earlier and I need you to stop. What if he’s weirded out?”
Shaoyou shrugs, “He would’ve said so,” He comments, “I may not know Shen the way you do, but I know him in my own way. Shen would’ve said something if he’s uncomfortable. Or annoyed.”
The omega mulls over that, biting his lip again. So far, Wenlang has not commented on Shaoyou’s antics — that is, if he has noticed them.
Which brings more questions and anxiety within Gao Tu. If Wenlang did notice, what does he think of it? Is he just letting Shaoyou do his thing because Gao Tu is around? What if he already knows and —
“Hey,”
Gao Tu immediately looks up, hearing the familiar voice.
His heart mends and breaks at the same time at what he sees.
Standing there was Shen Wenlang, smiling timidly, and… with someone else whose name Gao Tu had to know first.
“So, uh,” Wenlang tries again, looking back and forth between the two people on the blanket and to this new companion he has, “Hua Yong, these are my friends from the city, Gao Tu and Sheng Shaoyou.” He settles back his eyes on Gao Tu, “Tu, Shaoyou, this is Hua Yong.”
Hua Yong. Just Hua Yong.
No introductions to how they know each other. No backstories. Just Hua Yong.
Gao Tu can taste the familiar taste of metal on his tongue – his lip might have bled from biting it a bit too long – but he associates it more that he’s tasting heartbreak.
“Hi!” Shaoyou waves before offering his hand, already moving and taking the attention away from Gao Tu, “You’re friends with Shen, too?”
At the usage of his family name instead of his name, Hua Yong looks at Wenlang. An eyebrow raised, demanding answers, to which Wenlang could only roll his eyes.
“Long story,” He says instead, leaving it as it is.
Hua Yong just nods softly, a small smile on his face, “Hello,” He greets back, shaking Shaoyou’s hand, “Well, you could say we’re friends.” He says the word as if there’s a deeper meaning to it – which could be right. Gao Tu has been friends with this alpha for ten years and this is the only time he had seen Hua Yong. Or even had heard of him.
Are they—
Wenlang huffs again before returning to his spot next to Gao Tu, who had been oddly silent since the introduction.
Of course, the alpha notices this. He always notices anything whenever it's about Gao Tu. It feels like a curse this time around, “Hey,” Wenlang nudges his shoulder, “You okay?”
Gao Tu could only nod, turning his attention back to the sunset. There’s barely any portion of the sun left, just the rays of it left behind before the night sky falls onto them.
“Just really tired.” Why is loving you always at the cost of being stung by it, Wenlang?
Wenlang doesn’t push. He just hums. Shaoyou and Hua Yong’s conversation drowns out in the background, “You can take a nap here,” He pats his shoulder, “If you’d like.”
Gao Tu almost lets out a laugh.
“It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
He has to be.
They part ways with Hua Yong at around seven in the evening, claiming that everyone is tired from the long ride.
“Take plenty of rest,” Hua Yong says as he bids them goodbye, the small smile on his face has never left since they all met, “If you guys want, I could tour you around the beach or the hotel tomorrow. Just to maximize the experience.”
“We’ll take you on that offer, A-Yong,” Shaoyou says, which earns a questionable glance from Gao Tu, “You’re more helpful than Shen here.” He continues on, deliberately ignoring the look Gao Tu is sending him.
It earns a laugh from Hua Yong and a groan from Shen Wenlang.
“I’m glad,” Hua Yong says, his eyes glinting under the moonlight. He’s pretty, Gao Tu thinks. He sees how Hua Yong carries elegance and softness that he’ll probably never be able to do in all his life.
“I’ll leave you guys for now,” Hua Yong spares one last look at Wenlang, “Take care of this dumb alpha for me.” He pats Wenlang’s chest, to which Gao Tu follows with his eyes, before waving goodbye to the trio, both of them heading in different directions.
As they get farther away from Hua Yong, most probably out of ear shot, Shaoyou wastes no time to ask, “I never knew you had other friends, Shen.” He says, “Maybe you’re not a lone wolf as you thought to be.”
Wenlang huffs, “I told you, I have connections. I know people. Can you get off my case, Sheng?”
By being in between them, Gao Tu senses the change in Wenlang’s scent. It turns bitter on its edge, as if there’s a tampered down anger that is just waiting to be let out.
Is he – is he mad at Shaoyou for asking about Hua Yong?
“I’m not starting something!” Shaoyou says, raising both of his hands, “All I’m saying is that maybe you could actually handle yourself when Gao Tu isn’t around.”
Wow. What a choice of words, Shaoyou. It’s not like it dug the dagger further in Gao Tu’s chest.
Before Gao Tu knows it, Wenlang has put an arm over his shoulder, pulling him even closer, “I think I’d die if Gao Tu wouldn’t be around.”
Gao Tu’s treacherous, stupid heart beats a little bit faster at that. He sends Shaoyou a look, one that says: help, how do I react to that?
Shaoyou blinks, “You have Hua Yong.” He stammers, even though he was also left speechless for what Wenlang said. “From what I have seen today, you two seem pretty close.”
The sharp and bitter scent hits Gao Tu’s nose again. By this point, he already knew that whenever it’s about Hua Yong, Wenlang’s pheromones change – as if he’s preparing to pounce on Shaoyou for even thinking of him.
What exactly is between them? Why is Shen Wenlang so protective of him?
Who was Hua Yong?
Trying to get rid of any thoughts about the new person added to the equation, Gao Tu lays down on the bed he has chosen when they first arrived, scrolling through his feed. The hotel room they had booked consisted of two queen sized beds — that Gao Tu gapes at when he first came in, demanded an answer from Shen Wenlang, to which the alpha just shrugged at and said, “connections”.
He hears the shower turning off but pays it no mind, continuously scrolling through videos on his feed. He must’ve been so engrossed in the videos that he does not even see Wenlang standing on the edge of his bed, preparing to jump next to him.
“Wenlang!” Gao Tu whines as Shen Wenlang literally jumps to lay next to him. Beyond the annoyance, there is something warm spreading through him, knowing that he gets this side of Wenlang, “You have your own bed, go there.”
The said alpha moves a bit on the bed, ending up sideways, his head propped up by his arm — and shit, may any deity available right now send help to Gao Tu. Wenlang is wearing a soft white shirt, and with his position, his arms are way too visible for Gao Tu not to stare.
Nope. Not today, Gao Tu. Control yourself. He tries to turn the other side, to go back to his phone, when Wenlang stops him with a hand on his arm. Wenlang, I swear.
“It’s not fun if we’re apart,” Wenlang said, turning him to his back. From that position, Wenlang stares down at Gao Tu, and for a moment, Gao Tu is scared that the alpha might see all his thoughts through his eyes, “We used to share beds before when we were in high school!”
“Yeah, high school,” Gao Tu emphasizes, “We’re graduating college by Monday. Have you lost your mind?” He asks, raising his hand to flick Wenlang’s forehead, “We won’t fit anymore in one bed.”
Lame excuse. He knows the bed can definitely hold three people.
“We used to fit in one single bed in the dormitories, Tu!” Wenlang replied, looking as if he’s almost begging for Gao Tu, “Also, you were the one who kept saying we would fit in that small bed when I already offered to sleep on the floor.”
Gao Tu feels himself flush red at the memory. Initially, he had only said it as a joke, “I’m so tired, can you adopt me in your dorm for the night?” as the alpha had the means to rent a dorm near their college while Gao Tu still had to take an hour to travel back home. Of course, with Shen Wenlang being Shen Wenlang, he had taken it seriously and dragged him to the direction of his dorm unit instead of the bus terminal.
Embarrassed, but also so fucking heavily endeared, Gao Tu tries to tell him it’s a joke. He can still go home on his own.
“And risk you falling asleep on the way home?” Wenlang had said then, scoffing as he gave the omega his spare clothes, “Go change, and then sleep. You can think of going home when you have rested.”
Gao Tu may or may not have sent multiple messages to Sheng Shaoyou that night. All with exclamation marks and capital letters.
In the present, Gao Tu could only sigh. He moves toward the edge of the bed, making a space for the alpha–which in turn, makes Wenlang smile. He looks like a damn puppy, Gao Tu thinks as he watches Wenlang makes himself comfortable next to him, like a puppy who had just been washed.
When Wenlang catches him looking, he turns to him.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Gao Tu just huffed a small laugh, accompanied by a smile because what the hell. Wenlang’s smile is so infectious and he’s just a man, okay, he falls for that.
“I haven’t shared a bed with you since third year,” Gao Tu whispers, looking at Wenlang who laid across from him, “When, you know, things got busy with our major subjects and different schedules.” He sighs, “This is nice.”
Wenlang moves a bit, putting his arm under his head to properly look at Gao Tu, “Told you this is a good idea.”
“I didn’t even say it wasn’t,” Gao Tu replies, his smile widening enough that his dimples appear.
To his surprise, Wenlang reaches out his other hand to pinch Gao Tu’s cheek. He turns even more red if possible, “You’re so stubborn.” Wenlang says before letting go, “Go to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow.”
If Gao Tu’s being honest, he’d rather spend the next day on this bed, looking at Wenlang. He’d prefer this silly, small talk over non-trivial things and make memories that Gao Tu will surely keep when he leaves.
He doesn’t say that though, “Goodnight, Shen Wenlang.”
A hum. “Night, Tu.”
Gao Tu wakes up before Shen Wenlang.
He adjusts his eyes to the light coming in from their window, stretches a bit, and when his hand hits something — that’s when last night came rushing back in.
To make sure that he was not dreaming it, Gao Tu slowly turns his body to the other side and shit.
There he is, the alpha that Gao Tu had loved for a decade, sleeping peacefully. Wenlang’s hair is ruffled on the pillow, making him look like a boy.
Fuck. Gao Tu is so in love with him.
“It must be nice waking up to this every morning,” Gao Tu mumbles to himself, still staring, memorizing the depths and highs of Wenlang’s face that are highlighted by the sunrise.
He didn’t get to stare that long because a phone suddenly rings somewhere, kicking Gao Tu’s fight or flight into action. He immediately turns to the other side, afraid that Wenlang might’ve caught him looking.
As the phone rings, Wenlang begins to stir, mumbling with his deep morning voice. It takes everything in Gao Tu to not to turn around and kiss the alpha who is just within his arm’s reach. He can imagine it: a morning like this where Gao Tu can just turn around and hug his alpha, give him good morning kisses and —
The phone stops ringing. “Hello?” Shen Wenlang greets the caller, still obviously out of it, “Oh, Hua Yong.”
And that… drops the small fantasy Gao Tu has. Right, there’s a Hua Yong now.
To get out of that situation, or in that bed precisely, and to avoid hearing Wenlang talk to Hua Yong on the phone, Gao Tu tries to act like he had just woken up. He pretends to stir a bit, stretches his arms, and finally turns around to meet Wenlang in his early morning glory.
Shen Wenlang being asleep didn’t do justice to Shen Wenlang who had just woken up.
No time for imaginations, Gao Tu reprimands himself. He offers a sleepy smile to Wenlang who had given him an apologetic one back. He gets up from the bed, probably to freshen up or anything, just so he can get away from the conversation.
“You woke me and Gao Tu up, are you satisfied?” Gao Tu hears from Shen Wenlang just as he reached the bathroom door, “Hua Yong, you are insufferable–”
Gao Tu finally closes the door.
“... The waves are really strong during the night up until like early morning,” Hua Yong explains to the three of them as they walk on the side of the water, small waves crashing onto their feet, “So if you want to swim, probably do it in the afternoon.”
They were walking in pairs, with Hua Yong and Wenlang in the front with Shaoyou and Gao Tu staying at the back. While Shaoyou was able to keep up with the conversation, Gao Tu stayed mostly silent on their walk.
It’s not that he’s purposely shutting them off; it’s just that he notices how comfortable Wenlang is with Hua Yong and it brings him this bittersweet feeling within his chest. He will be sad to leave Wenlang behind but he has Hua Yong now, he’ll be okay, right?
It feels like a big lie in his chest when he tells himself he will.
“How do you know so much about this place, A-Yong?” Shaoyou’s voice cuts through Gao Tu’s haze, making him curious as well.
Hua Yong stops walking, making all of them halt as well. He glances at Wenlang, “You didn’t tell them?”
More questions arise in Gao Tu’s head that he refuses to ask out loud.
“Well, they didn’t ask.” Wenlang retorts, annoyed. Yet, Gao Tu now sees the small hints of fondness in that reply.
Hua Yong rolls his eyes before looking at the other two, “Wenlang’s parents and mine are, well, business partners.” He says, looking shy for the first time they have met him, “Let’s just say if you look into the admin office, you’ll probably see our names joined together there.”
Shaoyou lets out an amazed laugh — the one that says he can not believe what he had just heard, “So what,” He lets out, looking at between the two of them, “This whole thing is like a conjugal property?”
Hua Yong’s eyes widened at that before bursting into fits of giggles, “You say that as if me and Shen Wenlang are married.”
Shen Wenlang lets out a tsk beside him, “Can we just go?” He says, “You have so much to tour these two around and we might not make it before sunset.”
“You and your sunsets and sunrise,” Hua Yong tells him softly, “Well, shall we go?”
The group resumes on their walk, returning to the conversation about beaches, waves, and the hotel as if the conversation did not happen. As if it did not shatter something within Gao Tu.
Families being connected. Conjugal property. Married.
Is Hua Yong —
“Hey,” A nudge on his hand. Shaoyou. “Are you okay?” The alpha asks him, voice tinted with worry. The same tone that Shaoyou uses when he can sense that something is bothering Gao Tu. Again, he does not know if the alphas in his life being able to know him that well is a blessing or a curse.
Gao Tu tries to smile, though, not as bright as he’d like as he still feels like his heart is breaking all over again.
“I am.”
He tries not to look in Wenlang’s direction. Tries to avoid how the other alpha looked back at him, with the same worry etched on his face.
Later that night, Hua Yong invites them for a drink by the beach. With the premise that everything is all accounted for and that all Shaoyou and Gao Tu need to do is to show up that night.
Which is funny, really. How can Gao Tu even choose not to go when he shares a room with Shen Wenlang? The alpha would probably drag him out should he choose to stay in and wallow in self-pity.
So, there he is: sitting on one of the beach chairs that Hua Yong had provided. They were all seated in a circle, with the middle being a small table with their drinks and food for the night.
Gao Tu purses his lips, thinking about how he should handle his alcohol intake tonight. He still shares a room with Wenlang, and so, it’s best not to make a fool of himself. However, he thinks of the discovery he found out earlier: Conjugal property. Married. So, he thinks, fuck it.
He’s leaving Wenlang anyway, why would it matter what happens tonight?
He takes the shots whenever it’s given, laughs whenever Shaoyou recalls to Hua Yong about his encounters with Shen Wenlang, tries to input some of his story on those encounters, and just tries to have fun in some way.
At one point, he feels a hand from stopping him downing his shot. Gao Tu turns and sees Shen Wenlang looking at him worriedly. Again.
“You don’t have to take that,” He says, letting Hua Yong talk in the background. Shaoyou is probably entertaining him anyway, “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not,” Gao Tu tries to fight back, though he finds that he can’t really move away from Wenlang’s warmth, “I can still take this.”
Wenlang huffs, an annoyed one that Gao Tu knows all too well. The same huff he does whenever Gao Tu is being stubborn.
“Fine,” Wenlang says, letting go of Gao Tu’s hand, “Last one, though. I’m taking both of you back to our rooms.”
It sounds so… soft. Commanding but soft. It almost felt like Wenlang was talking to him as his mate and not as his friend.
Gao Tu blinks softly, realizing just how much the alcohol is slowing down his system. He knows it's the damn alcohol because his sight is not this blurry, almost looking like he has no glasses on. Despite his vision, he finds himself staring a minute longer, probably squinting from how he’s trying to see, on Wenlang’s lips before answering, “Okay.”
This time, he watches as Wenlang’s lips pull into a smile. It was as if time was slowing down when Wenlang reaches across his face — Gao Tu panics for a bit, what the fuck is he going to do — his hands on the side of Gao Tu’s face —
He arranges Gao Tu’s glasses, angling it in a way that he can see Wenlang better and oh. The blurry sight was really due to his damn glasses.
“You say you’re not drunk but you don’t realize that you’ve put your glasses on your head earlier,” Wenlang mumbles, “Then you wonder why you can’t see anything.”
This. This is the fucking reason why Gao Tu has suffered ten years of unrequited love because how can he not? Counting out his sister and Shaoyou, Shen Wenlang is the kindest and caring alpha he had ever met, had always been attuned to his needs even without noticing it, and was just an overall good person to him.
He had fallen for him when he didn’t even know what love was. When he was still clueless to even know how biology could play into how certain people can be together.
There’s an old tale, passed on from his mother back when she was alive, that certain mates have an over 90% compatibility which makes them fated mates.
Gao Tu wonders if he has that. If he does, would it be Shen Wenlang? If not, then maybe he’s really doomed to an eternity of life where he can not get the love of his life.
Fuck, I love you, Shen Wenlang.
Gao Tu’s hand trembles, “Wenlang–”
“Wenlang, your friend is out cold.”
The moment ends. Gao Tu’s mind catches on the same time that Wenlang stands up to go across, and shit. Shaoyou!
He is about to stand and help carry Shaoyou back when Wenlang turns to him, “No,” He tells him, pinning him down with his eyes, “Hua Yong got him.” He starts walking back to where Gao Tu sat and starts pulling the omega up by his arm. He puts Gao Tu’s arm on his shoulder, a firm hand coming on to his waist to steady him, “And I got you.”
Gao Tu tries not to fall for that again, “I’m not drunk, Shen Wenlang!” He says and tries to move away from Wenlang’s grasp. He doesn’t get far enough—he sways on his spot instead, the hand coming back to its place on his waist.
Okay, maybe he is drunk but it’s still too embarrassing to have Wenlang carry him back like this. Also, why is Wenlang still composed? Is he not drunk? Did he even drink anything?
“I just have a higher tolerance, Tu.” Wenlang says suddenly, eyes crinkling from how hard he’s trying not to laugh at their situation. At Gao Tu.
Oh. He must’ve said his thoughts out loud.
“Come on, get your legs working. We’re going back to our room.”
Gao Tu feels bad that he left Shaoyou on his own. Even as he pushes himself to help, he can still feel the world spinning a bit when he tries to take a few steps in hopes to check on him next door.
That was a few minutes ago, with Shen Wenlang trying to get him to stay still on the bed, as he feels slightly better now. He’s more sober compared to earlier, he thinks. There’s some alcohol still running through his veins, making him feel like he’s in between tipsy and sober.
“You look like you’re seeing things that aren’t there,” Wenlang says, suddenly in his line of vision, holding a basin filled with water and a cloth soaked in it.
Currently, Gao Tu is sitting on their bed, with his back on the headboard, trying to sober himself up, “I’m trying to find myself,” Gao Tu meekly replies, looking at Shen Wenlang who’s now squeezing the excess water from the cloth, “Hua Yong is a menace.”
Shen Wenlang laughs softly, using the cloth to wipe Gao Tu’s face and neck, “He is,” He agrees, “I can’t believe I grew up with that lunatic.”
With his glassy eyes, Gao Tu watches as Wenlang starts wiping down on his arm. The cold cloth sobering him up a bit more, “You and Hua Yong really go way back, huh?”
Wenlang stills for a moment before resuming, “You could say that.” He brings the cloth again into the basin, squeezes out the excess water, and resumes on Gao Tu’s other arm, “Really, it’s more of our families being connected that’s why we know each other.”
Gao Tu doesn’t know what triggers it for him. Maybe it’s the way Wenlang spoke softly of Hua Yong, the non-denial of their friendship (Bond? Mates?), or the way Wenlang is softly caressing his skin with the cloth to help him sober up. He doesn’t know.
All he knows is how those three words are building up in his chest, urging to be said out loud.
Maybe it is the alcohol.
“Wenlang?”
“Hmm?”
“Does Hua Yong take good care of you?”
Wenlang stills, a beat longer than earlier. There’s a shift in the emotions on his face but Gao Tu can’t see them clearly with him still looking down on his arm. Wenlang resumes on what he’s doing, but slowly, “He does,” He says, sounding more of a question rather than a statement, “If you could count us being friends for such a long time.”
Not the answer that Gao Tu is looking for. That’ll do, though. If Wenlang won’t say it, then Gao Tu won’t push. “That’s good enough for me.”
This time, Wenlang finally stops wiping his arm and finally looks at him, “What does that mean?” He says, filled with worry and anxiety. The alpha probably knows something is wrong but can’t pinpoint what exactly.
How could he? He has no idea about the feelings that Gao Tu had harbored for him.
The words are there. Gao Tu can feel them. The alcohol, or maybe it's him finally giving in, makes him want to just say it.
So, he does.
“Because I know someone can love you for me.”
And it’s there. Out in the open.
No takebacks.
The longing he had kept as a secret, finally out and shared between them.
Wenlang takes a deep breath, “Gao Tu, what do you mean?” He asks again, voice tethering on the edge of desperation.
Gao Tu does not know what to make out of that. Still, he proceeds. He flexes his fingers on his lap, just so they can stop shaking, “I love you, Shen Wenlang.”
He declares it in a low tone. Soft enough that transmits all the love he had kept but also sounding as if he’s tired. Tired of keeping this in, tired of watching Wenlang from the sides knowing he isn’t what Shen Wenlang needs, tired of seeing him with Hua Yong and thinking of how good they look together.
He feels the tears pricking just behind his eyes, fuck, he can’t let Shen Wenlang see that. So, he bows his head instead, looks at his shaking hands and focuses on them instead, “I have loved you for ten years now.”
No one speaks for a while. Only the noise of the air condition being the white noise that surrounds them. If Gao Tu focuses enough, maybe he can hear Shaoyou in the other room, whining about his head and how sore his throat feels.
For a moment, Gao Tu thinks he had forgotten to breathe by himself.
“Why didn’t you–” Wenlang begins but cuts himself off from even continuing the sentence. Maybe he found it unreasonable to even ask? Maybe he found his answer in silence? Gao Tu isn’t sure.
“I was supposed to move on from you after this.” Gao Tu lets out a pitying laugh, “After this whole trip. I-” I’m going to leave this city behind. I’m going to leave you. “I’m sorry, I just–what you’re doing, hell, what you’ve been showing me since the start of this trip–I don’t know, Wenlang, I–”
Gao Tu doesn’t even get to complete his sentence when he feels Wenlang putting a finger on his chin, lifting his head up. He gets to see Wenlang’s eyes again after the confession — full of emotions swirling in them that Gao Tu can’t even read him anymore.
Maybe he misses a blink. Or two. He isn’t sure because next thing he knows, there are lips pressing against his and — is Shen Wenlang kissing him?!?
It’s just a soft touch of their lips. Nothing too serious, but it still gets Gao Tu’s stomach doing somersaults. Fuck. If he thinks about it even longer, maybe he’s completely sober now. Completely wiped out of all the alcohol from how fast his heart is pounding.
He must’ve taken a bit long to reciprocate because Wenlang puts a hand on his neck, grasping it. That earns a gasp from Gao Tu, his hands bracing on Wenlang’s arms. That gasp was all Wenlang needed before devouring Gao Tu whole.
And Gao Tu is just a man and an omega. An omega who has longed for this alpha who is kissing him senseless. He closes his eyes and lets himself drown in it.
It’s good – way too good, if he’s being honest. His imagination of ten years holds nothing to how he’s feeling right now. It felt so good to be finally kissing Shen Wenlang.
However, it’s also the same thought that brings him back to reality.
He’s kissing Shen Wenlang.
Shen Wenlang who probably has something with Hua Yong.
Fuck. He’s kissing Shen Wenlang.
Out of fear, Gao Tu pushes Wenlang away. Breaths coming in quickly, one chasing the other.
“Gao Tu–”
“No, Hua Yong–” Gao Tu whimpers, seeing Hua Yong in his mind. His soft smile, his laughter, and how he had willingly accepted him and Shaoyou into their business. The same business that Hua Yong and Shen Wenlang’s families manage. What did he get himself into? “We can’t–I’ll–I’ll sleep on the other bed.”
He wrings out of Wenlang’s space, steadying himself on his two feet as much as he could. He even feels his bile rising up to his throat and he’s pretty sure that it isn’t caused by his intoxication.
He thinks he can hear Wenlang call his name but it's drowned out by the buzz in his ears.
Gao Tu gets under the covers of the untouched bed. He tries to sleep through the shivers, willing his body to just succumb to unconsciousness.
He doesn’t want to think about anything anymore.
Not even about Shen Wenlang. Hua Yong. Or that he’s moving away and he can’t even tell Wenlang.
He needs — He doesn’t know what he needs.
Gao Tu wakes up to an empty room.
Not really empty; he still sees Wenlang’s bag on the spot where he left it when they arrived, the ruffled sheets, and the room still smells like hints of iris. However, there’s no Shen Wenlang in the room.
He doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or not.
His phone rings from the bedside table, connected to a charging port. Gao Tu doesn’t remember charging it from the night before. He doesn’t want to think of who could’ve done it.
“Gege!”
Gao Tu feels his eyes go misty for some reason. It feels relieving to hear his sister’s voice after a draining night.
“Gege, where are you? When are you coming back? Have you forgotten that you will be graduating on Monday?”
“I know,” Gao Tu replies, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Sorry, I’m coming home later.”
“You better be! Dad is worried you might not be able to march on time tomorrow.”
Tomorrow?
Gao Tu pulls his phone away for a moment to check the date, and shit.
His graduation is tomorrow. It’s already Sunday morning.
“Sorry, sorry,” Gao Tu apologizes, rushing to pack his things. Too engrossed in his drama, he had forgotten the exact reason why Shaoyou was so against this trip: Shen Wenlang aims to bring him back by Sunday night. He had even broken down the schedule to Shaoyou to explain that he will be back home before the calltime.
Well, plans do change. He’s catching the next bus this early to go back to the city. It’s better this way.
“I’m also worried you might not make it! Gege, you stress me out!”
Gao Tu laughs, “Sorry, Qing,” He says as he looks around the room to find his other sock, “I’ll be back home by afternoon, promise.”
“Alright, I’ll let Dad know.”
True to his word, Gao Tu does arrive back home by afternoon. Although a bit late, as it’s nearing sundown, he still managed to set foot in the house before Gao Qing could even flood his phone more with messages.
“Gege!” She exclaims as she sees him on the door. She sprints towards him to give him a hug. “Dad, A-Tu is home!” She says into their house, knowing their dad will hear it anyway.
“Huh,” Gao Qing observes him and the open road behind him, “Shaoyou or that alpha didn’t drive you home?”
Gao Tu bites his lip to prevent it from trembling. He feels like crying, “I took the bus. They said they’ll stay a bit longer.”
It was a lie. He didn’t even manage to tell Shaoyou personally that he’s going home; he just texted him a message that he’ll go first and to just tell Shen Wenlang and Hua Yong he’s sorry for rushing.
Shaoyou does end up sending him a few exclamations and question marks, demanding why he ran off on his own, before settling with a: okay, fine i’ll let them know. tell me if u’ve reached home, ok?
Gao Qing stares at him for a moment, searching his face for something that’ll tell her if he’s lying or not. If she did find anything, she did not mention it.
“Okay,” She says before moving to get her brother’s belongings, “Let’s put you to your own bed this time. You must be tired from the long trip.”
Oh, Gao Tu’s tired alright. Mentally and physically.
Wenlang didn't message him that day. Neither on the next day which was their graduation.
Gao Tu doesn’t know if he should offer his congratulations or just let it be. He doesn’t exactly know where he stands with Shen Wenlang after that kiss.
As he downs his toga and cap, he feels like he’s looking at the end of something.
This is it, Gao Tu tells himself, I’m finally graduating.
His conversation with Shaoyou echoes in his head.
Maybe Wenlang’s lack of presence was him finally giving him that headstart he needed to move on.
Shaoyou is there at the venue, looking as if he didn’t just come home a few hours ago. None of his hair strands were out of place, his suit properly straightened for such a formal event.
“I feel like I don’t belong,” Shaoyou says, giving Gao Tu a bouquet of flowers, “Like, I just graduated last year! Why do I feel like it’s been so long?”
“Maybe it is because it has been too long.” Gao Tu retorts, smiling as he does so. He looks down on the bouquet, “Wow, these are pretty, where did you get them?” He asks, lifting his head to ask Shaoyou.
His friend just purses his lips, urging him to look at something that is within the bouquet.
Confused, Gao Tu looks back on the bouquet on his hands — oh. There’s a card he hasn’t seen earlier. He picks it up, noticing how stiff the paper that was used.
Congratulations on graduating, Gao Tu!
You’re finally going into the real world.
If you need anything, don’t hesitate to message. :)
— Hua Yong and Sheng Shaoyou
Gao Tu blinks at the end note.
“From you,” He says slowly, confusion lacing with his tone, “And Hua Yong?”
Since when was he close to Hua Yong that he had to give him a bouquet? With Shaoyou too, on that matter.
“Uh,” Shaoyou stutters in front of him, his ears turning red, “He wanted to congratulate you, too.”
“I get that,” Gao Tu says, still confused, “He could’ve just sent a message? Or maybe something lesser than a bouquet? We were not exactly close during the whole thing.” He finds it funny that he refers to the whole mini vacation he had as a thing — as if it was an event that is too forbidden to be named.
Shaoyou huffs a small laugh, “Let’s just say he wanted to win you over, too.”
If Gao Tu was confused earlier, he’s now a walking question mark. Before he could ask some more, he could hear Gao Qing calling out for him.
“Gege!” She exclaims, finally finding her brother in the sea of other graduates, “I’m so proud of you!”
Gao Tu welcomes her with a hug, sniffing her hair, and feeling comfort in her arms. Even if the world is unsteady and confusing, he knows he has a family to return to. A family he’d be moving away with — away from everything that will remind him of a certain alpha.
“Congrats, son.” His dad comes into view, also holding a bouquet of flowers. He lets out an amused laugh seeing that his son already has one, “Well, aren’t you loved, you little bunny.” He says, looking at the bouquet on Gao Tu’s hands, “Shaoyou, this one’s yours?”
Shaoyou laughs behind Gao Tu, “Yes, sir!”
“Wait,” Gao Qing questions, eyes moving back and forth between Gao Tu and Sheng Shaoyou, “This one isn’t from that alpha – what’s his name? Oh, She–”
Gao Tu cuts her off before she can finish the name, “He’s not here,” His family looks at him, bewildered. Probably because this is the only time that he wasn’t present along with Shaoyou, “I meant, now. He isn’t here now. He graduates later, his schedule is in the afternoon.”
That seems to settle Gao Qing as she nods, “Well, let’s go? Dad and Shaoyou prepared a whole fest back home.”
“Dad and Shaoyou?!”
A hand clasps his shoulder, “Of course,” Shaoyou says, materializing next to him, “What kind of friend I am if I don’t help your family surprise you?”
Surprise. One more surprise. Gao Tu would like to erase that word from their vocabulary. He had enough dealing with surprises.
As they walk to find the exit, Gao Tu thinks this is his world. His dad, Gao Qing, and Sheng Shaoyou.
After all, Shaoyou was here first before him.
There’s a pretty banner in the living room, with congratulations written on it. The kitchen table is set with different food that Gao Tu is pretty sure they picked because those were his favorites. Some of Gao Qing’s friends were there, chatting away with her while also sending their greetings to him. Some of their relatives were there, giving him their congratulations. He pretends he doesn’t get misty eyed when his relatives from his mother’s side quips with “your mother would’ve been so proud of you.”
Trying to get away from the fest inside, Gao Tu finds himself outside to just breathe.
It seemed like everything had been going too fast for him during that week, and now? Now, he feels like he’s standing at the finish line.
It would be better if he’s here with me, his treacherous mind supplies. Gao Tu lets out a sad, small laugh.
Even after knowing he could’ve possibly ruined what he and Shen Wenlang had, his empty inbox telling him so, his heart still longs for the other man. Maybe it really wasn’t that easy to move on from the person you’ve loved for that long.
He’ll just have to deal with it for now. Maybe someday, he can look back at this moment and think, it wasn’t that bad.
“Gao Tu?”
Shaoyou appears in front of him, his smile soft. “I was trying to find you inside,” He says, then looks at him from top to bottom, as if he’s assessing him, “Are you okay?”
Is he? He’s not even sure, “I am,” Gao Tu nods, hoping to ease Shaoyou’s worries, “You should go back and eat something, I’ll go back in a minute.”
The alpha doesn’t move, “Tu,” Shaoyou says again, this time with more hesitancy than before, “I feel like I owe you an apology.”
Huh? For what?
“On the last day, well, yesterday,” Shaoyou laughs at his mistake but Gao Tu could only feel how the air had suddenly felt cold. It was not something he’d like to talk about this early, but seeing how distressed Shaoyou was, he let him continue, “I feel like I should’ve done more instead of letting you leave on your own. I want to excuse that maybe I had a bit of hangover that morning but fuck,”
Shaoyou lets out a sigh before running a hand through his hair, “Everything went so fast that morning that I wished I could’ve called you instead of sending you that message.”
What–
Seeing the confusion on Gao Tu’s face, Shaoyou let out a laugh, “You know, I think it would be better if this explanation could come from him.”
Gao Tu blinks, trying to process what Shaoyou had said. Before the sentence could even sink in, Shaoyou turns his head to their front porch, making Gao Tu look as well and–
Shen Wenlang stands there, still in his formal attire, looking like he had immediately travelled on his doorstep after his graduation schedule. Hua Yong is there too, waving at him. Although, there’s now a bit of distance between him and Shen Wenlang, which makes him even more confused.
If he had ruined Hua Yong and Shen Wenlang, then why are they here exactly?
“Gao Tu,” Hua Yong calls out, smiling at him, “I know my friend here can be a bit dense but could you, please, at least hear him out?” He says as he glances at Wenlang, who’s looking at Gao Tu helplessly, and then back at the omega. “If it helps, Shen Wenlang is not my type.”
Gao Tu feels like passing out, or crashing out, he doesn’t know. He feels like he’s in the middle of some sick joke, where everyone is waiting–watching–for his reaction. He oddly feels betrayed. Yet, hearing that from Hua Yong?
It lit up the small flame of hope that he had extinguished when he came back home.
“Gao Tu,”
The voice echoes through the soft afternoon air, making goosebumps arise on Gao Tu’s skin. Damn Shen Wenlang and his effect on him.
“Can we talk,” He says, voice tethering on the same desperation during that night, “Please?”
They ended up on the small ramp in front of a convenience store, both of them holding a can of something that Shen Wenlang bought for them. The alpha has already opened and drank some of his, while Gao Tu still has to find the strength to even open his own can.
“Tu,” Shen Wenlang starts, voice raspy and sounding scared. “Tu, I’m sorry if I scared you that night,” He says, fiddling with his own thumbs while holding the can, “I should have explained to you what me and Hua Yong were but everything happened so fast. Next thing I knew, you were gone.”
He lets out a deep sigh, “I was so scared, Gao Tu.” He admits, turning to look at the omega who had been frozen in place, “I thought something happened to you–I only calmed down when you sent Sheng Shaoyou that text.”
“You don’t have to feel sorry for me, Wenlang.” Gao Tu finally speaks, looking down at the can on his hand, “You don’t have to tell me all these because you feel bad for me.” He lets out a bitter laugh. “It’s not your fault you don’t feel the same.”
Shen Wenlang lets out a shaky breath next to him, “Gao Tu, will you look at me, please?”
Drained out of the fight in his body, Gao Tu complies. He just wants this to be over with–the vague explanations, the way Shen Wenlang seems to be hesitant in approaching him, the fine thread they had been walking on since they had been left alone.
He’s so tired from all this.
However, now staring at the alpha, Gao Tu sees the tears brimming on his eyes and it shatters every belief he ever had.
“Wenlang–”
“Gao Tu,” Shen Wenlang breathes out before reaching out to hold Gao Tu’s wrists softly, minding the can still in his hand, “Me and Hua Yong? We’re childhood friends, yes, but only because my dad and his mom are business partners. The resort we went to? It’s named after our surnames because of our parents. We’d probably inherit it in the near future but that’s about it. We’re friends, Tu.”
Gao Tu blinks once, then twice, “Then why–”
“I never told you about him because the whole business thing is so complicated to explain and I didn’t want you to think too much of it–which now I realized that was wrong, I know. I’m sorry. Keeping you in the dark got us into this mess.” Wenlang lets out a shaky laugh, “Also, we wouldn’t happen anyway because apparently, Sheng Shaoyou was Hua Yong’s ex and they, kind of, reconciled during the trip.”
Gao Tu flinches at the information, “Hua Yong was his ex?” He exclaims, “How did I not know that?”
Shen Wenlang shrugs his shoulders, smiling despite his teary eyes, “That’s their story to tell, you should ask Shaoyou about it. They even managed to fool me because they acted like they barely knew each other. I only knew about them during that morning, when I kept pestering them about you.” He then sighs, “It also made me feel stupid for all the times I felt so jealous about you and Shaoyou.”
Another shock went through Gao Tu’s body, “What are you–” He choked on his words, his vocal chords giving up on him. “What are you trying to say?”
The hands on his wrists suddenly lets go, making Gao Tu miss the warmth it brought, but then it goes to cup his face and—
Wenlang smiles at him, “I was jealous of you and Shaoyou. I thought you two were eventually going to find out you like each other someday so I just chose to hide these stupid feelings I had about you.” A tear falls from his left eye, “When you confessed that night, God, Gao Tu, I was so happy. I was so happy that the only way I could show that was to kiss you.”
The alpha frowns then, dropping his hands, “Then you pushed me away and murmured Hua Yong’s name, I was confused. I was hurt. These emotions were all battling inside me that when it finally sunk in what happened, you were on the other bed. Trying to hide from me.” He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against Gao Tu’s shoulder, “We should’ve talked that night. Instead, I let you sleep on the other bed, thinking we could talk about it in the morning.”
“And then I left,” Gao Tu continues for him, his heart bleeding from how much they both have suffered over their miscommunication. He feels his own tears coming up but he doesn’t feel sad, in fact, he feels relief. “I’m sorry, Wenlang.” He brings a hand to caress the alpha’s hair and nape. “I’m sorry, I was an idiot.”
Wenlang moves his head, looking at Gao Tu from his shoulder, “You were not. You were only acting based on what you knew. I was the idiot—for not telling you about me and Hua Yong earlier. We wouldn’t even be here if I did that.”
Gao Tu laughs, a real laugh after all that has happened, “We’re both idiots, then.” He says, finally feeling a weight have been lifted off his chest.
They let the silence hang over them for a few minutes, soaking in the confessions that had been said tonight. During that silence, Shen Wenlang has managed to wrap his arms around Gao Tu’s waist, feeling his warmth and drowning himself in his scent.
As much as Gao Tu wants to stay here, to bask in with Shen Wenlang returning his love, he knows that isn’t their reality anymore.
“What happens now, Wenlang?” Gao Tu asks, his voice almost a whisper, “I don’t know if Shaoyou already told you but I’m leaving,” He feels the alpha tense in his hold, almost feeling sorry for how their story has unfolded, “I guess we were too late to figure things out.”
At that, Shen Wenlang removes himself from him. He stares at the omega with determination in his eyes, “It doesn’t have to be.” He says, “I don’t care about the distance, I could come to you. No matter where you are. Or maybe, when you visit back here, we could still spend some time together,” He rambles out, racking his brain for ideas that Gao Tu can feel himself laughing at the absurdity of it all.
“Wenlang,” This time, it’s Gao Tu who holds the alpha’s hands, caressing the alpha’s hands. It is only on his hold that he realizes just how much their hands’ sizes differ. It’s cute. “I don’t know if we could do anything right now. It’s just… too much risk—deciding on a whim, especially now that we’re high on emotions,” He looks at the alpha’s eyes, “I don’t want to lose you, Wenlang.” Not anymore.
Shen Wenlang breathes out, his shoulders relaxing. “That isn’t a no, right?” He asks, “You’re saying we should just wait for a while. See where this leads us.”
Gao Tu nods, feeling so happy and warm inside that it almost brings him to tears again. “Yes,” He answers, “That is, if you can wait for me? For us?”
Shen Wenlang lets out a breathy laugh, one that shows relief and love all at once. He takes one of his hand from Gao Tu’s hold, puts it in the back of his head so he can give a light kiss on the omega’s head, “You’ve waited ten years for me,” He recalls the years Gao Tu had mentioned that night, “I could wait for a few more.”