Chapter Text
“- and then Lizzie Owens dared Kristen to kiss Brad, because, you know, she likes likes him since, like, third grade. And she did! Cassie, I mean. I’m so happy for her! And when I went to talk to Brad after, because you know, he’s my neighbor and we’ve known each other since we were born - Well, he told me he liked it! And, he’s going to ask her to the Snow Ball next year.”
Mia listens, lying down on Jenny’s bed with her arm propped up on a pillow. Jenny is drawing flowers and vines on the inside of her plaster, coloring the blooming yellow sunflowers next to Mike’s and Dustin’s signatures. Lucas’ get well soon and smiley face is surrounded by a chain of daisies now.
Jenny sighs every time she runs her fingers over it.
Mia doesn’t know if she even knows that she’s doing it.
She does it again now, while reaching for a glittery puff paint to fill the middle part of a blue chrysanthemum under Mia’s thumb. There’s a small smile on her face and Mia looks away, heart twisting in her chest.
“Did I tell you that Lucas is teaching me how to use a slingshot? He said - are you okay? Am I hurting your arm or something?”
“No, it’s fine.” Mia answers, eyes drawn back to her best friend like a moth to a light.
Jenny is on her stomach next to Mia on the bed, her blonde hair is half-pulled up in a bun, small wisps of it curling at the sides of her face. When Jenny moves, a speck of glitter on her neck shines under the blue light of her brand new lava lamp.
“Do you like him?” Mia blurts out, before she can stop herself.
Jenny looks up at her, and Mia feels her entire face flush with nerves. She knows that Jenny is her best friend, and knows that she’s probably asked Jenny this exact question a thousand times before, and that Jenny’s asked her this question about a million times more, and there shouldn’t be anything wrong in her asking this question now, but for some reason…
She doesn’t know why she’s so embarrassed all of a sudden. Is embarrassed the right word?
She feels hot and cold at the same time.
Jenny hesitates, brows furrowed with confusion. “Brad?”
“No.” Mia wiggles her arm, “Lucas.”
Jenny faceplants on the bed, her neck pressing into Mia’s arm. Her hair fans out over Mia’s shoulder, smelling like strawberry shampoo, and some of Mia’s nerves go away. She raises a hand to Jenny’s hair, rolls a golden lock around her finger. If it is embarrassment that she’s feeling, she shouldn’t. Jenny is her best friend in the whole wide world.
“Maybe.” Jenny mumbles, voice muffled against the bed. She turns her head to the side, one of her blue eyes peeking up at Mia above her red cheeks, “I don’t know. I think I do.”
For a second, Mia forgets what she’d asked Jenny. Then a cold shock goes through her when Jenny’s answer clicks, and she lets go of Jenny’s hair.
Jenny’s face falls, eyes widening with trepidation. “Is it that bad?”
“Of course not.” Mia’s quick to assure her, though it feels like a lie. “It’s…It’s just that it’s Lucas. You know, our friend. Who always yells at us and doesn’t let us play DnD.”
“Lucas doesn’t always yell at us. And Mike was the one who said we couldn’t be a part of that campaign…” Mia levels an eyebrow at her, and Jenny concedes, rolling her eyes and raising herself up on her elbows, “Alright, he doesn’t yell at us all anymore. He used to - but I think he’s changed now.”
And…Okay. Mia can kind of see it. Lucas and the others have been much nicer to them these past weeks, though Mia thinks it’s because they’re too sad about Eleven and too relieved about Will to push them away.
Losing El has hit all of them hard, Mike especially. He even asked Mia if she wanted to participate in their next campaign as Orianna, her tiefling character.
Besides, they’d gone through something together, their very own campaign. It feels strange to come out on the other side and suddenly be at odds with something as stupid as cafeteria seating places.
“Look,” Jenny continues, “When we were in the hospital’s waiting room, he was just so nice to me. I mean, he even let me sleep on his leg. Back at the school, he cried and let me hug him, which never happens, because boys like to pretend they don’t have any emotions.” Jenny traces the sunflowers on Mia’s wrist, a small smile on her face. “And I don’t know. I think he’s cute, isn’t he?”
Mia wrinkles her nose, trying to see it. She doesn’t.
Now that she thinks of it…Who does she find cute? Mom thought Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp were cute. Rob Lowe, maybe? George Clooney?
George Michael?
“Thinking he’s cute doesn’t mean you like him.” Mia frowns, still thinking, but failing to find an answer. “You said Clark was cute last week and I don’t see you saying you like him.”
Jenny rolls her eyes and slaps her shoulder. “You know what I mean. It feels like - like if he kissed me it’d be nice.”
Mia makes a face, her stomach curling just at the idea of kissing Lucas. She tries to put Mike in his place, or even Dustin, who’s infinitely nicer than both other boys, and her stomach curls just the same.
Besides, kissing is terrible. It’s wet and gross, it hurts and tastes funny. She can’t see the appeal of it, but she doesn’t really want to burst Jenny’s bubble.
“Lucas threw a caterpillar in your hair, like, two months ago. And just last week, he drank that sprite too fast and just burped in my face. You remember that right?” Mia argues, because she can still try and make her friend see the grave mistake she’s making.
Liking boys is weird. And dangerous. But she shouldn’t just say that to Jenny.
“Yeah, but boys are always gross. And I’m a little gross too, it’s not like I can judge all that much. Besides, he smells really nice and he dresses well, which is just not a thing with boys our age.”
It makes sense that those are the things that Jenny cares about. She always wears the best colors, the best sweaters, and the coolest overalls, and she always smells amazing, like her strawberry shampoo and that pink perfume that her mom bought for her for Christmas last year.
But is that really all that’s needed for wanting to kiss someone?
How could she want to kiss anyone?
Mia’s eyes flick down to Jenny’s lips, pink and with a dried stain of chocolate to one side, and wonders what it’d be like. To kiss her.
Girls would be safer than boys, maybe. She’d seen girls do it too, and it seemed much softer than when boys did it.
A shudder climbs down Mia’s spine, her lips burning with the faint memory of -
She immediately shoves the thought out of her head, blinking hard. She turns her head to the ceiling and tries to count the glow in the dark stars on them.
Right. Maybe George Michael was cute.
“Okay.” She finally concedes, “I mean, Dustin would be the ideal choice, but between Mike and Lucas and Will, Lucas is the better choice, I suppose.”
Jenny snorts. “My mom thinks I like him, but I would never date him. That’s like, against my moral code.”
“Dustin?”
Jenny rolls her eyes, “Will.”
“Why?” Mia asks, a bit offended on her twin’s behalf.
He’s great at art, and the two of them have a lot in common, from the movies they like, to the books they read, and they’re always talking when Mia sits with them in the art classroom. Will is always complimenting Jenny’s outfits.
“Because he’s your brother. And it’s not fair. I know he would never like me.”
Something in her voice makes Mia pause. “What, why?”
Mia knows why her brother would never like Jenny, but why does Jenny think that?
“You know why.” Jenny argues, raising her eyebrows.
Something in her eyes makes Mia’s stomach lurch.
This is Will’s secret. She can’t know about it, can she?
But then again it is Jenny. Jenny, who always knows when someone is lying to her, and always manages to find out everyone’s deepest secrets.
Mia looks back at the ceiling and doesn’t answer.
With a sigh, Jenny goes back to her drawings.
“At what time is Jonathan picking you up again?” Jenny asks, changing the subject.
Mia raises her other wrist, checks the hour. “In ten minutes or so.”
“Good, I can finish this one then.”
Jenny continues to paint, humming something that Mia vaguely recognizes as a Go Go’s song.
Trying to shake off the awkwardness from their previous conversation, Mia reaches for the cookie platter sitting on her stomach, and pops a whole cookie into her mouth so as to not get crumbs on Jenny’s bed.
A knock at Jenny’s door comes out of nowhere, startling both of them. Mia inhales too fast - a crumb dropping straight to the back of her throat, and almost chokes her to death.
While she’s hacking a lung out, Jenny opens the door.
It’s her dad.
“Hey, girls.” He greets, pushing his reading glasses up on his nose. “Just wanted to let Mia know that her brothers are here.” Mia gets up on the bed, eyes swimming, and Mr. Hayes’ mouth twists as if he’s trying not to smile. “They’re downstairs waiting for you, kid. You better come quick or my wife will give them more food than they can carry.”
Maybe Mr. Hayes is cute.
Mia flits around Jenny’s room, picking up little things that she’d brought and taken out of her bag. Jenny helps, shoving the headband Mia had left on the floor into Mia’s hands. Mia looks around, feeling as if she’s forgetting something. Jenny tells her that if she’s really forgotten something, she’ll find it and tell Mia through their new, matching walkie talkies that Mrs. Hayes had gotten them as an early Christmas gift.
Mia nods, shoulders her backpack and climbs down the stairs with Jenny right behind her.
Jonathan has three plastic containers on his hands, probably the cookies and scones Mrs. Hayes had made after lunch, and the tiramisu Mr. Hayes had made for an after-dinner dessert. Will is telling Mrs. Hayes about Mike and the others by the kitchen aisle, a bag of licorice in his hands.
Mr. Hayes is already next to Mrs. Hayes, a hand on her shoulder. He’s a nice man. Jenny says he’s a great dad. He never comes into Jenny’s bedroom when Mia is sleeping over and Mia kind of trusts him.
Does she find Mr. Hayes cute?
“I’m glad they’re alright. I really should go over to Karen’s this week.” Mrs. Hayes says to Will, turning her head around to the kitchen doorway to the sound of Jenny’s and Mia’s footsteps coming closer.
Her eyes fall on Jenny and Mia and her smile is blinding. Her eyes are the same color as Jenny’s, though her hair is much darker. She’s all dressed up for Christmas, wearing a shiny, dark red, silky blouse and sharp cream pants. The upper half of her hair is pulled back, showing the teardrop earrings dangling on each side of her neck, both golden, just like the ring on Mr. Hayes' hand on her shoulder.
Maybe Mia shouldn’t think that Mrs. Hayes’ husband was cute. Disgust at herself rises in her throat, shame making her cheeks and ears burn.
“There she is! All ready to go home, honey?” Mrs. Hayes smiles at Mia, hand reaching up to hold her husband’s hand.
Their matching wedding bands glint under the kitchen lights and for a moment, Mia can almost see Jenny in her mother’s place, as old as Mrs. Hayes, talking to her future kids’ friends, and wonders who would stand next to her with a hand on her shoulder.
Would it be Lucas? Or someone else they haven’t even met?
Mia tries to see herself in that same position: the perfect house, the gleaming kitchen, a man’s hand on her shoulder, a ring around her finger.
She tries and fails.
“All ready, Mrs. Hayes.” Mia answers, shaking the thought out of her head.
“Well, then you all better get going. It’s always lovely to see you, Jonathan. You too, Will, you’re looking much better. You have to come over more times, we’ve missed you around here.” Mrs. Hayes tells them, patting the back of Will’s folded hands on the kitchen aisle.
They leave with containers filled with food and a promise to go back before New Years. Mrs. Hayes made homemade Cider, and she wanted Mom to try some.
Mia sits at the back of the car, while Will sits next to Jonathan. Will shows her the brand new and fancy camera Nancy had gotten Jonathan, and Mia doesn’t tell them that Steve Harrington had come up to her while she was at the Wheelers’ last week and asked her what kind of camera her brother had his eyes on. An apology, he’d explained, for the things he’d done to Jonathan while Will was missing. Mia, who had known what happened from Jonathan, had told him the name and model of the most expensive camera that Jonathan had been eyeing at the store downtown.
They’re poor and Steve is loaded, she’s not stupid.
On the way home, they put on the mixtape Jonathan had made for Will while he was at the hospital. Will hasn’t stopped listening to it since.
Mia kind of wants to chuck it out of the window by now.
She sings along to a Talking Heads song instead, watching Jonathan’s hands tapping along to the beat, ignoring the dark trees outside the window as they ride through Mirkwood. Will tells Jonathan all about his campaign back at Mike’s. He doesn’t look out the window either.
Should Mia know who she finds cute? Should Mia find Mr. Hayes cute at all? Did finding someone cute mean that you liked, liked them? She couldn’t like like Mr. Hayes, could she?
Mom’s still cooking Christmas dinner when they get home. There are presents under the tree, and Will goes straight to them, while Jonathan sneaks to his room to get film for his new camera. Mia asks mom if she needs any help, but Mom says it’s fine, everything is just finishing up in the oven. The table is already set too.
Jonathan comes out of his room and snaps a picture of Will shaking the biggest present under their tree. Mom puts the mashed potatoes on the table and Jonathan takes a picture of that too. When Jonathan turns the camera to her, Mia strikes a pose, her cast arm on her hip and the other hand under her chin, staring up with a smile on her face, making sure the camera gets her new and sparkly green/red barrette next to her bangs.
Jonathan laughs, asks for another pose, Will jumps into the frame, an arm behind her back. He’s making bunny ears above her, she knows, but she doesn’t care, she’s doing the exact same thing behind his head.
They sit down to eat, mom bemoaning the sad state of her mashed potatoes. It does look kind of gross, but it’s absolutely delicious, no matter what Jonathan says. Mia throws herself down on her seat, already reaching for it, but stops herself.
Will had halted just before sitting down. Mia looks at him just in time to see his expression shifting minutely into anxiety before he schools it back to normal.
He’s been doing it a lot lately. Stopping out of nowhere with an anxious look on his face, as if he’d just missed the last step on a staircase.
He walks back, away from the table, heading out of the kitchen.
“Hey, no more snooping!”
Will waves a hand at mom. “I’m just going to wash my hands. I’ll be right back.”
Mom throws a disbelieving look at Mia and Jonathan once he’s gone. “He’s washing his hands?”
Mia shrugs, not laughing like Jonathan is, but her eyes trailing behind her twin brother. Mom puts a hand out for her plate and Mia hands it over, turning her attention to her mom, who always piles a bit too much of everything in her plate, though Mia doesn’t really complain about the heaping spoonful of mashed potatoes.
Mom makes Will’s plate, and is doing the same to Jonathan when Will finally makes it back from the bathroom. He’s stiff, face more serious than it was before. His hands are wet still, so he doesn’t seem to have been lying, but there’s definitely something wrong.
Mom catches it too.
“You okay?” She asks.
Will glances up at them with a distracted smile. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Mia kicks his leg under the table. Will glares and kicks her back. She glares back, urging him to tell the truth, but he only looks away.
“So, mom, did Will tell you about the game?” Jonathan asks.
“What game?”
“The campaign at Mike’s today.”
“Oh, that Dungeons and D…”
Will turns to mom, “Dungeons and Dragons, yeah.”
Will starts telling Mom all about it now, ignoring Mia even when she kicks his chair hard enough that he hits the table. Mom tells her to cut it out.
Jonathan passes her a new loaf of bread. Mia picks it up, decides to dip it in the runny potatoes.
It’s so good.
Will doesn’t look at her for the rest of the night. Mia eats her potatoes and pretends that it does not bother her.