premium service fee

by underfallingflowerpetals

Summary:

“Don’t mess up my tail care products,” Shouto says. “When you check the shower. Okay? They’re expensive.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Katsuki says, running his tongue over his teeth.

Shouto throws a hair (tail?) brush at him. Katsuki ducks just in time to turn and watch it thwack against the shower wall.

Or: Katsuki checks Shouto's pipes, and gets a kiss (or two) for his efforts, against all odds.

At first, Katsuki thinks he’s got the wrong apartment.

“Hi,” he says. “I’m here to check the pipes? Is your, uh, owner home?”

“I don’t have an owner,” says the... boy? Cat? In front of him. “I live on my own.”

Katsuki kind of wants to pet him. A little bit. His ears look soft. “Are you sure?” he asks. “I can wait, I don’t mind.”

The boy’s eyebrows furrow. “Nuh uh,” he says. “You can check them now.” And then he turns around, mumbling about mean humans, and Katsuki catches the first glimpse of his tail, long and fluffy and just as red and white as the rest of his furry bits.

By sheer willpower, he keeps himself from reaching out to yank on it.

Which is good, because cats bite, right? Pretty boy looks like he might bite. And then Katsuki would have to explain to Toshinori why he needs first aid and why the job isn’t done, and he’d probably never get to touch pretty boy’s tail at all.

Which—

Well, it wouldn’t be the ideal outcome after all his hard work.

“They should be fine?” pretty boy says. “I just moved in, and the previous owners seemed nice? I’m sure they didn’t pour their used oil out down the sink or anything like that.”

“That’s what the check-up is for,” Katsuki says. “To make sure. It should be on your lease. Didn’t you ask Toshinori about it?”

The kitty turns to look at him, nose scrunched. “Yagi-san?” he says. “No? He just said he’d have someone over to come look at the place later. Was he talking about you?”

“Yeah, me and this other guy help him out.”

“Is the other guy nicer than you?”

“Spoiled cat,” Katsuki huffs. “The other guy has to be nicer than me, he’s Toshinori’s stepson.”

“I’m not spoiled,” the kitty says. “And I’m not a cat. I’m a cat hybrid. My name’s Shouto.”

“Well, you still look like you want chin scratches, princess.”

“What’s your name?” Shouto asks. “Or do I just keep calling you mean human?”

“It’s Bakugou,” Katsuki huffs. “Bakugou Katsuki.”

“Hmph,” says Shouto. “So you’re going to check my pipes, Bakugou?”

“Yeah,” Katsuki says. “I’ll be checking your pipes.”

Shouto crosses his arms over his chest and flushes red. “Just the kitchen or...?” His nose scrunches. “Is bathroom plumbing different?”

Katsuki laughs, can’t help it. “Yeah,” he says. “Different pipe sizes. You don’t wash your tail in the sink, do you?”

Shouto hugs his tail to his chest all affronted. Katsuki could probably see the curve of his ass in those little shorts if he bent over. “Of course not,” he says. “I deep condition. I’m not a dirty kitty.”

“Thought you said you weren’t a cat?” Katsuki asks, arching an eyebrow.

Shouto huffs.

“Just check my pipes already.”

Katsuki laughs. “Sure, kitty,” he says. “Anything you want.”

...

The kitchen seems fine, just the main sink pipe needs some tightening, and Shouto blushes a real pretty pink when he hands Katsuki his wrench, so.

It’s kind of fun.

And then they get to the bathroom.

Shouto, for some reason, insists on watching. “Don’t mess up my tail care products,” he says. “When you check the shower. Okay? They’re expensive.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Katsuki says, running his tongue over his teeth.

Shouto throws a hair (tail?) brush at him. Katsuki ducks just in time to turn and watch it thwack against the shower wall.

“Mean human,” he huffs.

“Angry kitty,” Katsuki says. “Are you gonna scratch me next?”

“Nuh uh.” Shouto shakes his head. “I’ll just tell Yagi-san his assistant was mean to me.”

“Assistant?” Katsuki huffs. “I just do this to help out. I’m not getting paid to take a look at your pipes, pretty kitty.”

“Oh,” says Shouto. “I didn’t know.” Then, softer, maybe even a little concerned, “Should I pay you?”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Katsuki says. “Toshinori lets me stay here for free when I have classes. Saves me the commute. It’s nice.”

Although, the thought of taking some compensation for his labor as long as pretty boy is willing doesn’t sound entirely unappealing.

“Still,” Shouto says. “You’re doing work. You should get something for it.”

Katsuki looks at him. His cute little ears and his fluffy tail. Those pretty eyes. Those soft, pink lips.

He could ask for a kiss. And then Shouto would probably throw a second, fancier tail brush at him.

As if sensing danger, pretty boy hugs his tail protectively to his chest. “Um,” he says. “You’re not allowed to yank on my tail, though.”

“Damn,” Katsuki says, running his tongue over his teeth. “How did you know what I was gonna ask?”

“Because you look mean,” Shouto says. “So I figured.”

“What if you like it when I do it?” Katsuki asks. “Then what?”

Shouto gets all pink again. “I won’t,” he says. “I don’t like mean humans.”

Evidently, Katsuki will have to negotiate.

“Okay, well,” he says. “What if I make you dinner first?”

Shouto’s kitty ears perk up. His eyes sparkle. “You’ll cook for me?” he says. “From scratch?”

God, he’s cute. Can Katsuki, like, eat him a little? Bite his mochi cheeks? (Or maybe, you know, start between his thighs? See what’s under those teeny tiny shorts?)

“Yeah,” he says. “Anything you want.”

“Cold soba,” Shouto says. “But not the instant kind.”

“Of course not.” Katsuki laughs. “What do you take me for? I’ll make you the best cold soba of your life, pretty kitty.”

“Um,” Shouto says. “Shouldn’t you check the shower drain first?”

And then he sits on the counter all prim and proper, crossing one socked foot over the other.

“Well,” Katsuki says. “At least we’ll know it’s a hairball if it needs unclogging.”

Miraculously, Shouto deems the second tail brush too precious to throw at him. He does hiss like he thinks that’s doing anything besides making Katsuki wanna kiss his scrunched nose, though.

...

Shouto’s pipes, it turns out, are in excellent shape.

Well, for the most part.

Katsuki can probably still find a few reasons to stick around for a more thorough inspection.

Like—

“You want that soba now, you spoiled cat?”

Shouto pouts at him. “Not if you’re going to ask like that,” he says. “Be nice.”

“Will you please do me the immense honor of letting me feed you, your royal kittenness?”

And that just gets Shouto to swat at his chest. But then he’s close, and he’s saying, “Oh, you’re... firm,” like he’s surprised about it, and Katsuki wonders if he should be offended.

“I got a workout with your pipes,” he says. “Didn’t you see?”

Shouto looks up at him. “Is it really so hard for you to be nice?” he says. “You’re kind of handsome when you’re not talking. Maybe if you said nice things, you’d be handsome all the time?”

Katsuki tips his chin up with his thumb. “Say that again?”

“I hate you and you’re mean,” Shouto huffs, tail puffing up. “And it’s probably going to take more than one bowl of cold soba for that to change.”

“Fine,” Katsuki says. “Then I’ll make you more.”

Shouto looks surprised. “Don’t you... have other things to do?” he asks. “Other, um, pipes to check?”

“Nah,” Katsuki says. “Just yours. I should stick around. Might even end up getting you a collar so you don’t get lost. A pink one with a cute little bell.”

“Well,” Shouto says. “You still can’t pull my tail.”

Katsuki laughs. “Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll get there. We have time.”

And then—

And then he pulls Shouto a little closer.

He should get something for his hard work, after all.

...

“Okay,” Shouto says. “Now you really owe me soba.”

Katsuki laughs and tugs him in again just to press a kiss to his forehead. And if he takes the chance to touch Shouto’s kitty ears—well. That probably counts as premium service fee.

(And they’re really soft.)

Notes:

this legitimately feels Too Silly to post ngl

it's babygirl's birth month though ig he deserves a... cheesy porn trope w/ no porn in it? pls does this need a higher rating

enjoy your catboy, katsuki <33

twitter, same @ on bluesky

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 284 of (bakutodo fics)