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In another life, in another universe, Melina sedated Alexei and took the girls at just the right moment. It was a risky gamble, especially considering the super soldier serum in the Red Guardian’s veins. But it was worth it, the sedative she created worked and she took the girls.
She fled for a year, and she swore she would not let them lose their hearts. A few months later, a young SHIELD field agent named Phil Coulson tracked them down. The opportunity presented itself like never before, one in a million, and Melina did not hesitate. She joined SHIELD and told them everything, everything she knew about Dreykov, the future plans, the atrocities done to the girls in the Red Room.
It was tedious, and it was complicated to earn the trust of the other agents while juggling her motherhood. Natalia was stubborn. She had gone through the program, unlike Yelena, who was overprotected, too young to understand what it meant to have fled and what exactly the place they were in now was. But Melina did not allow her to try anything, Natalia was a child. Melina was the one who had to put an end to it all.
Melina had killed babies before. And Antonia’s death was a tragedy, but an atrocity that had to happen for a greater good.
In another life, Melina won and Dreykov was nothing more than a corpse beneath rubble. Or at least, that’s what she believed.
In another life, Melina was an agent and a scientist at SHIELD, and her daughter Natalia followed in her footsteps, becoming SHIELD’s greatest asset for many years. In another life, Yelena grew up like a normal girl: she went to school, played soccer, and sang American Pie every morning in the car when Melina drove her to class. In another life, in this one, Yelena studied veterinary medicine and volunteered regularly as a firefighter. In another life, in this one, the Red Room returned and this time it was Natasha who pulled the trigger. Dreykov’s corpse was now real, Natasha made sure of that.
And in another life, Natasha still ended up becoming an Avenger but retired in time. And she and her sister watched Sex and the City late into the night in Nat’s apartment. In another life, Yelena did not carry the weight of the deaths she might have borne. Melina got her out in time.
And in another life, years after the blip, Yelena met a woman in the big city. She fell in love, too.
In another life, Kate is nothing more than a vigilante in New York (because in almost every other life, no matter how hard they try, heroism follows them). In another life, Melina has peace, Natasha is free, and Yelena is happy.
In another life.
And in other lives, sometimes it is worse. Sometimes Melina doesn’t make it and Alexei wakes up before they can cross the door. Sometimes, Yelena ends up in the Red Room but Natasha looks for her when she manages to get out. Sometimes, Yelena dies in the first years in the Room. Sometimes Natasha dies there. Sometimes Yelena hates Natasha. Sometimes, sometimes...
And sometimes, they are happier than ever. Sometimes not. Sometimes Natasha is alive, because it is Clint who jumps. Sometimes they win on Thanos’s first arrival, because Thor aims for the head. Sometimes, things are simpler.
Only sometimes.
"Lena, do you think a lot about what might have been?" Kate asks her softly, her head resting on the pillow and her fingers tangled in Yelena’s blonde hair. It was shorter now than when they met. Kate thinks it looks beautiful anyway.
Kate asks because she thinks about it a lot, actually. She thinks about her father, alive. Or about her mother making different decisions. She thinks about having met Clint earlier, about, maybe, meeting Natasha and being able to hug that woman who was so important to all the people who are important to her now.
Sometimes, she wonders if she could have adopted Lucky as a puppy. Did he lose his eye on the street, or was he born that way?
"The what might have been..?" Yelena raises an eyebrow, even with her eyes closed. Kate laughs, she loves the little wrinkle between Yelena’s brows. It’s adorable. Just like the pout Yelena uses against her more than either of them would admit.
"Yeah, you know... What would have happened if... such and such. What everything would be like then, if it would be different." Kate explains awkwardly. Is it an insensitive question? Yelena has many regrets, but she’s not the only one. Kate has them too. Everyone does, truth be told.
Yelena finally opens her eyes. And my God, how green they are. Sometimes Kate can’t believe the shade of green Yelena has, even though Yelena insists they have a bit of brown and that Natasha’s were lighter.
"Sometimes..."
"If you could change something, anything. Now or from before. What would you change?"
Yelena’s gaze softens. Her legs bend where they are tangled with Kate’s. Kate had never been this clingy with a partner, she was affectionate, sure. But Yelena brought out a sappy side she didn’t recognize in herself. In the same way, Kate knew Yelena had a soft spot for her.
"Nothing."
Kate blinked.
"Nothing?" she repeated.
"The things I did, all of them, I have to learn to live with them," Yelena explained softly. And wow, therapy really must be good. Maybe Kate should go, like her friends insisted. But trauma was stupid and Kate tended to talk a lot about nothing to avoid talking about it. "And the things I would like to change, so things would be different, were out of my reach. I was just..." Yelena swallows, as if it’s hard to admit. "I was a child. There was nothing I could do."
Kate nods, sadly. "You’re right, I’m sorry I asked, swetheart."
Yelena shakes her head, unconcerned. Then she smiles. "... I dreamed about Natty last night."
"You did?"
"Mmhh."
"What did you dream?"
"A hug," Yelena whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion. "A memory. The last time we hugged." Kate’s eyes fill with tears instantly. "You know what, Kate Bishop? I change my answer. I would have changed something."
Kate wipes her tears with her hand. "What?"
"I would have hugged her for longer. A long hug, one that felt like hours."
Kate laughed, tearfully. "Natasha would have fallen asleep."
Yelena laughed, incredulous. "What? Why?"
"Because you give the best hugs!" Kate explained. "I always feel like I melt in your arms."
Yelena smiled, lifting her hand to wipe the last traces of tears from Kate’s cheeks. "And you, baby?"
Kate closed her eyes.
"No, nothing."
After all, what did what might have been and other lives, and other universes matter? What did it matter how complicated everything always was? They were here now.
They were here. That had to be enough.