Chapter Text
Jax stared up at the blinding white screen, ignoring the thoughts screaming around in his head. Now isn’t the time. No one was speaking but he could feel when the other’s gazes shifted onto his back. He breathed in, carefully checking his expression to stay neutral. Not smiling but not giving anything away either.
“Well.” Jax turned around to face the others. Kinger stared with a strange look of clarity. Ragatha’s expression held a mix of horror and defeat. Zooble looked more pissed off than that time he put Gangle in a paper shredder. Gangle herself looked a breath away from shattering her sad mask. Jax didn’t look at Pomni. “This hasn’t been fun at all. I’m going to my room.”
He had reached the middle of the room when a hand latched onto his wrist. Jax felt all too aware of the slight pressure on his arm. He desperately wanted to get it off — stoptouchingmegetoffgetoff — but that would jeopardize the false nonchalance that was already hanging by a thread.
Instead, Jax glanced back and sighed, “What do you want, Pomni?”
“Why did you do that?” The jester’s voice was firm but soft. In her big, sad eyes he could see that ridiculous hope she somehow kept at all times. It was wasted on him, and he knew it. Maybe now could be his chance to extinguish it once and for all. Wouldn’t that be funny?
“What do you think? Why do I do anything?” he drawled.
Pomni bristled, about to respond when Zooble interrupted, “Oh f#@$k you, #@$hole!” They stormed their way over to the duo as they continued cursing, “You are not going to get out of here without a proper explanation. If that wasn’t actually fake you’d have doomed us all to being trapped in this hell forever.”
Jax ripped his arm out of Pomni’s hold. “Oh my god! News flash! We are doomed to be trapped in this hell forever! I’ve been saying from the start this whole thing was fake! And I proved it!”
“Yeah, right. By the time you pressed the button, it was clear to everyone just how real you thought this whole thing was! Don’t think we didn’t notice how freaked out you were. What? Was the thought of having consequences to your actions out there too much for your fragile little ego?”
Jax stiffened. Flashes of a blurred but all too familiar face reminding him what ‘consequences’ looked like out there. A droning static filled his ears and he quickly shook his head at the glimpse of a glitch in his vision.
He felt disconnected from his body as a smile spread across his face. “Maybe so! Maybe I love being in this d#@$n circus! Maybe it’s the best thing that happened to me! Maybe I just want to watch you all despair at being trapped here!” Jax jabs his finger into Zooble’s chest. “What are you going to do about it?”
Silence fills the room, no one responding. Zooble glares at him before turning and walking off.
“Yeah! Nothing! That’s what I thought!” Jax shouts after them, feeling a bout of giggles coming up. Everyone follows after them shortly. Everyone, except Pomni, that is.
She looked at Jax, who was clutching his stomach as he laughed. She sighs and shakes her head before speaking, “I’ll be here if you ever decide you’re done with this whole ‘funny’ act, Jax.”
Jax’s pupil’s dilated at that, laughter cut off, as he watched Pomni leave.
He stood there, in the middle of the lit up room, for what felt like hours. When his mind finally caught up to his body, he collapsed to the ground. Tears filled his eyes. He didn’t know how much longer he could do this. He was supposed to be safe here. The circus protected him from the world and his mask protected him from the idiots who couldn’t handle it.
That’s how it was supposed to be anyway. But Caine had to go and ruin that. He had to rip away the safety and control he thought he finally had, all while making him show everyone just how pathetic he truly is. Just a stupid, f#@$kup, who breaks everything he touches. It’s almost funny how he managed to mess up getting someone to hate him.
Jax shifted to look at the white screen when the low sound of static filled the space. A sharp jagged gash was taken out of the screen. His sense screamed wrong wrong wrong at the glitch, but he didn’t shake himself out of it this time. He took solace in the fact that no one would be here to stop it this time. He reached out his hand, waiting for Ribbit to take him away.
His heart rate picked up when the green hands crawled out from the hole. A shaky smile spread across his face as his friend got closer to him.
And then it was all gone. The screen turned off and with it went Ribbit. Jax shot up and scrambled towards the monitor. “Nonononono. Come back! Come back, please!”
“Jax.”
Jax twisted around at the sound of the ringmaster. Caine hovered near the entrance of the room, staring at him. Jax vaguely felt the anger bubbling back up but his mind suddenly felt too foggy to let it fully form. All the sudden shifts of emotions must have taken a lot out of him because he suddenly felt so very very sleepy.
“You look tired,” Caine floated close to him and a hand softly took hold of his cheek. In the back of Jax’s mind, he felt the familiar urge to get away, but he was tired. And Caine’s touch was so soothing that he had to stop himself from leaning into it. “Let’s get you back to your room, my little rabbit.”
Caine scooped Jax into his arms. If his head didn’t feel too heavy to move he would’ve protested. Instead he lay limp in the ringmaster’s arms as they teleported into his room.
Caine gently set him into his bed and covered him with the quilt. As the heaviness brought Jax’s eyes together, he felt a warmth he couldn’t decipher on his forehead.
“Goodnight, Jax. Don't worry about a thing, I’ll make sure everything is all better tomorrow."
Jax let sleep take him, ignoring the sense of wrongness that has followed since the ringmaster appeared. He could deal with that in the morning.
~💜❤️~
Jax woke up, confused.
First off, he was covered by his blanket, which was something he normally never bothered to do. Digital blankets providing digital warmth to his digital body was just too pointless of an idea.
Second, he could barely remember what happened yesterday. He remembered something bad happening, something with the adventure? With Caine? It was all a blur. He could almost grasp the answer but it was just out of reach. Jax is no stranger to forgetting what’s gone on throughout the endless days of the circus, but this feels different. Bigger.
And lastly, and most concerning, he could acutely feel he was being watched. A look around the room revealed nothing, but the feeling of stares continued. Maybe he’s finally going crazy?
Whatever. He considered staying in his room until today’s adventure. The idea of dealing with the others sent a wave of anxiety through him, but the whole “being watched” thing was kind of freaking him out. Braving the others, though why he’s feeling so concerned is beyond him, beats abstracting in his room because he’s hallucinating. Maybe he could piece together whatever happened yesterday by interacting with them.
Jax rose from his bed and left his room, heading out to the main area of the circus.