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Your body itches like you can sense the uneasiness of the trip. Yi Dao and you are already halfway across Qinghe, poised on the morrow to travel across the river bordering the two regions. It's not like you're wholly unprepared, yet the cold bite of the night digs into your skin when you settle down for bed. There's barely a breeze, the only smell in the air is the burning fire Yi Dao had lit.
The fire crackles as all previous yet brief conversation comes to a close. You're not even sure if there's going to be more talking. "Get some rest. We'll need it for the journey, tomorrow," he says, dusting off his hands.
"It's cold," you grumble.
"Sleep beside me, then, kid."
You feel yourself wanting to protest, but he's right. Warmth is a rarity that wouldn't burn you up as quick as the fire he'd started, and was nearly embers at this point. There's not much words as you settle down next to him on the prepared softish bamboo mat, your spine pressed against his, aware of how much bigger he is compared to you. He's like a furnace, hot, and you find yourself pressing back more into him, sighing.
Though your mind turns like the hands on a clock. Your thoughts edge into worry. You'd managed to escape Blissful Retreat undetected, with no signs of anything amiss. You inwardly send a prayer up into the sky, hoping that they'd be watched over while you were gone.
It still doesn't feel right.
And here you were, half-packed and half-cocked right beside the border, about to cross in the morning.
As if sensing your thoughts, Yi Dao says, "Any big thoughts in the head?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know, speak freely, speak your mind! Give me your questions! Are you excited?" He almost sounds like he's trying to cheer you up, though for what battle, you couldn't say.
"I just... I have a bad feeling about how we left," you say, but quickly correct yourself. "I'm excited, but I'm anxious, too. I hope Ruby will forgive me."
He huffs, nodding. "I'm sure she will; she's safe there. And the big pond is an intimidating idea, isn't it. You've never been to a city, so it's okay to be worried. I'm sure your aunt Han will be just fine without you."
You snort. "That's awfully nice of you."
"Yeah? Well, don't get used to it," he says, laughing, and you hear him sit up and take another swig of his flask of wine - not parting tears, but something strong from the smell alone.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You're tossing and turning, yet unable to fully settle in for bed. You sigh, counting up the seconds into minutes where you're unable to sleep, mind wide awake from fretful, yet useless disquiet.
So, you reach for the comfort of the usual, the creeping edge towards the intimate. Your eyes drift downwards, yet the close proximity is something you hadn't considered - even if your back was touching his. You don't remember the last time you were alone, able to relieve yourself. Without thinking, your hands drift down to your robe, pulling it aside.
Damn. This was going to be a problem, wasn't it?
You bite down on your lip, exhaling slow like your life was on the line. How heavy of a sleeper was Yi Dao? You hadn't bothered asking, though he had been sipping on the wine. Surely, you think. The night sky isn't a good immediate indicator of passing time.
Risking a glance after stabilising your hand on yourself, you curse inwardly as you hear him turn, and glancing back furtively at him, he's lying on his back now, his eyes shut. You lick your lips, returning to your urges, readjusting your position so you're slightly farther away, no longer touching. Your hand runs down your shaft, tugging just the way you liked it.
Soon, you're gritting your teeth, the selfish way you plunge towards the end.
A familiar man plagues your thoughts, replacing the previous, and bite your lip in pleasure, a mistake realised much too late.
"Yi—"
You gasp, free hand physically pushing your mouth shut. A soft noise escapes you, but you squeeze your eyes shut.
Holding your breath was a bad idea, but you had to let go eventually; you inhale as evenly as you can through your nose, trying to calm a frenzied heartbeat that isn't even close to the quiet night's beginning.
A moment of silence later, you curl your hand at the head of your cock, sighing. You could work with the interruption. You're close again, letting a few louder pants break through the silent night.
The other man is as quiet as the dead.
So you believe.
Without a word, a warm hand grips your wrist - at first, you think that you're just delirious on the cliff of pleasure, and maybe you've just leaked on your hand - but no. Reality snaps you back to where you were, and you whip your head down to a large, calloused hand over your own.
Out of the once-asleep man's mouth comes a grumbling, "Think I wouldn't notice?"
You curse, almost freezing, before you realise the man is pressed into your back, insistent on you remembering he's there. "It's—damn, I didn't want to wake you—"
"I'm awake now." A growl of a threat. You curl in on yourself and duck your head, not wanting to turn back and reveal your flushed features. His breathy voices purrs into your ear, almost a whisper, "Didn't think you were the kind of man to jerk off so close to someone else."
"It's been—" You stop short, when his hand pulls yours up, a stutter of glorious, disgustingly knowing movement. For a moment, your mind splits in two, registering blissful contact yet the full-blown body blush registers this as someone else.
Who cares what you think? You've been caught.
"I know."
Begrudgingly, you say, "How?"
"Why else would you answer your body so readily?"
You turn then, fabric rustling like a protest, trying to fend him off. He easily pins your hands above your head, straddling you easily. Brown eyes, virtually coal-coloured from how dark the night was, lock onto yours.
His expression is dire, knowing, teasing; you're a reddened mess of mortification, looking away when he tries to catch your eyes.
What was he doing?
"Why are you such a light sleeper?" you say, face devolving into panicked irritation.
"Do you know the kinds of people who were after my skin? Especially in the jianghu?" he asks, lip curling up derisively. Yi Dao looks almost proud to have caught you in the act.
You turn your face away, knowing how red you could blush. "I can go," you bite out. "I can leave and do it elsewhere."
"You're clearly pent up."
"Because I am," you say, voice edging louder. "We've been together since you trailed me back to Blissful Retreat. I don't need an old man to tell me that."
"Old man?" he echoes, laughing, a pleased sound. It's on the breathless side, and you keep avoiding his eyes.
You feel his rough hand tighten on both of yours, keeping pinning them above your head as you struggle against it without conscious thought.
When he speaks with a new demand, it breaks through your shame of being caught. "Spread your legs."
Your mind blanks as your mind bristles with disobedience, gritting your teeth. "What?"
"I said: spread your legs."
You snarl. Your expression fades into derision, your words reacting defensively. "What, are you gonna teach me more humility?"
"I think you could have enough right now for the both of us."
You curse as he repositions easily enough and yanks your legs apart, despite your valiant effort to close them.
"Yi Dao—!"
"Young master, you should do as I say."
You struggle against his hands effortlessly pinning you down with simply one of his own - without breaking a sweat.
"No, I'm serious—stop making fun of me, a man has needs—"
"A man indeed does have needs," he says. Without kindness, his legs press down into your inner knees, forcing you apart. You have no time to grasp his words because he reaches down and touches you. His ungentle hand strokes you up as you gasp in time. You bare your teeth at him, knowing your red face brings you no dignity, but you refuse to look away.
"You want to be taught some humility?" he says, chuckling. "Then ask me to bring you off."
"Yi Dao, what the h—"
"Say it."
"No!"
Despite your blurry mind's waves of shame, you feel your cock pulse in his hand. His eyes draw down to your hard cock, and his lip turns up. Of course he'd notice.
"You like this?"
"No," you lie through gritted teeth.
Your body betrays your degeneracy - the novel idea of someone else touching you is so good that all you want is more.
"I don't think your body agrees, pup," he growls.
"Yi Dao," you breathe desperately, "I don't need you to help me, I'm capable of relieving myself alone—"
A knowing expression crosses his face, so raw it hurts. "I shouldn't have to say anything to convince you," he says, "that you want me."
Shuddering at those low words, you shake your head. "I don't need another way for you to prove I'm incapable."
"You're not."
"Then why are you doing this?"
He snorts, in a way you think it'd be accompanied by rolling his eyes, but he doesn't. "I saw the way you looked at me."
Your eyes snap to his, and there's a desperate revelation there. "I don't need your help."
"You're so hard up for help," he says, pressing into your space, breath tickling your face. "And you desperately need it."
Like formless silence, his large hand grips your cock - betraying your words - and tugs, and you blindly gasp at the sensation. He presses his lips at your ear. "Come on," he urges, and his low voice makes you shiver. "It's not a weakness to want someone else."
Stop, your mind screams. Stop pushing him away.
"How do you know?" you seethe, fighting a seemingly unwinnable game. "Maybe you were the closest available man."
"So ready to lie - I heard you say my name."
Your face blooms a horrible shaming red, unable to refute that, if he did hear you. You struggle against his hands, not realising that's the second time you've done that.
"Thought I'd be a good guy for once."
"Yeah?" you challenge, laughing spitefully. "What part of this is good?"
He sneers at you, like you're not in on the secret.
"Denying it, eh?" He grins. "For that, I'll need you to ask me."
You pant in lieu of an answer, gritting your teeth, abhorrent the way it slides over and rackets like bones in your head - the checkmate in sight.
"You know you're not going to win this battle," his voice drops lower, downright seducing, and you feel a needful pulse down to your cock. "And I'm satisfied with a little bit of a fight."
Under the brazen night sky, who else was going to hear it?
You turn your head, unknowingly offering him more of your neck.
"Please," you hiss. "Help me then, you bastard."
Yi Dao crashes like a storm over you. He picks you up to sit on his lap - the movement so quick you barely have time to react when he presses his lips to your neck as you groan in surprise, large calloused hand wrapping around your cock; like thunder, you swore your whole body shook like an earthquake when he jerks his hand, your body yearning and seeking the warmth you so desperately needed.
You feel your back arching in relief, your mouth dropping a shocked sound as he seemed to find exactly what you liked. His hot breath washes over your neck. The shudder that wracks through you is momentous, freeing.
"Ah!"
You writhe as you press your head into his shoulder, covering your eyes, much too close now. He's like a furnace, his warmth rivalling the fire, as he licks and nips at your ear.
"That's it, pup. Let go."
It's a pathetically small amount of time before you're near bursting out of your skin, panting, clinging to him desperately. Your nails dig into his skin - and somehow, he smells half of liquor and of the natural musk, faintly of firewood smoke and sweat.
You hate the way your mind enjoys that scent, shutting your eyes in disbelief.
Yi Dao's hand works you unkindly through your orgasm as you tremble in his hand. Nothing but pleasure rolls through your mind as you're much too overstimulated, feeling like you should've just left to Kaifeng alone instead with the way he controls your orgasm, his rough hand milking you in the aftershocks.
Gracefully, he lets you recover, and when you can finally think again, you hear him chuckle.
When you finally find words, your tone is clipped, bordering snarky. "Yi Dao, how drunk are you?"
His voice is a purr, yet not satisfied. "Not very."
You exhale hard, knowing now you didn't have a leg to stand on. Even with his hand painted in your cum, you can feel your patience slipping. "I can feel you, idiot. What do you want?"
"A little more," he teases. "I think you're good for it." Still, he doesn't move.
He's smart, so you figure alluding to it won't hurt. "We don't have... anything," you say, hoping he'd get the hint.
"Who says I don't?"
"You're—!"
You hear a dark chuckle. Pulling back from the boneless way you slung over his shoulder, you can see the lustful expression completely shadowing his features, twisted into a sort of grimace. Yet, his eyes glint in the low light.
"Mind getting on your knees for me?"
You balk, turning away. "Why're you asking nicely all of a sudden?"
"Well - the first time, I always ask nice. The second time..."
That sends shivers down your spine as you realise the truth of the matter - how long had he hung onto you knowing that you wanted him?
You slowly obey him, if only to tug at his patience for the demand, even if you were giving in. There's a drawn and quartered moment in that, and you could hear him softly breathing a laugh at your lax motions. Your knees don't hurt on the mat, but your pride stings.
From behind you, his voice lulls you out of your resistance. "'Atta boy."
He peels your robe away from you, and you idly wonder where he'd smeared the cum on his hands, before he exposes you completely. Breathing hard, you turn your head, and witness his near-inky black eyes on yours.
"If this is the first time you've ever been on your knees for someone else," Yi Dao says, his lips smacking audibly. "Tell me."
You want to scream at him in a blow of obscenities, but you hold yourself back, inexplicably playing nice.
You wonder why you should.
"So what if it is?"
He scoffs. "Say it properly."
You bite your tongue, exhaling in finality. "...It's the first time."
You hear him snarl, pleased and low in tone, rushing through your body like adrenaline.
"Good boy. Will treat you nice, then."
You feel your hackles rise, yet is smoothed over with a needy shiver that follows. "Do you even like it nice?" you snap, hearing your tempestuous tone grate even on your ears. You sound desperate, pleading, and not at all the confident that the line was in your head.
"Sometimes," he says, more playfully than his actions; there's an uncorked sound, and the unmistakable sound of liquid sloshing. He toys between your legs, knees drifted apart, and you bite your lip, breathing quickening.
One finger slides into you, carefully. It's not a completely foreign feeling, but someone else doing it causes you to keen a little louder than you expected.
"Oh," he breathes. "You weren't kidding."
"Did you expect me to lie?" you say, voice low, suddenly realising that aside from your hastily pushed aside robes, you're both still quite fully clothed. A little more gentle, he pushes two fingers in, and you can tell by the way it drips warmly down your leg that he's applied far more than he had to.
"Maybe. You want this, yet you're acting like a brat," he says, breathlessly laughing. "You're gonna remember this trip forever now, if I can help it."
"Shut up," you groan. Your head spins, pain and pleasure wrecking you over in waves.
"You'll get less grace from me if you keep up the denial."
He knows that you'll respond, so when the third finger threatens you, a moan tinged with pain leaves you instead of a retort, the way he pumps his hand much too slowly. He spreads you out with the motion, and you hang your head in defeat - it was far too much, too quickly. He continues like that for a moment, and you hear his breath whistling out through his teeth, almost reverently.
"Talk to me."
"What do you want to hear, huh?" Your breath hitches with every movement, not yet voided of pain. "Want me to—nghh—beg for it again?"
You hear him laugh, but it's kind. His fingers slow some, a reprieve. "No," he mutters. "Your body's doing enough."
His fingers somehow press deeper, and you gasp, yet feel your mouth move before your brain. "You sure?"
A humour-filled chuckle escapes him, and he presses his lips to your ear, nipping the lobe. "Now getting the feeling you want to."
"You'd like that—ahh!"
"I would," he groans, and you hear him lick his lips. It hits you then that he's probably staring down at you, and you flush even deeper, throat and chest prickling of heat.
"Not gonna."
"Yeah, I thought so."
Clothes rustle. Even with your head between your hands, you can half-see that he's still fully clothed, pressed out enough just to tease you with the head of his cock.
You can't get a gauge for size, the lewd way he slicks up between your ass, until he moves. The tip of his cock presses between you in warning.
"Take a deep breath for me. You're gonna need it."
When he pushes his thick cock into you, it's hardly kind - your back flexes and you moan loudly, the inexperience loud and clear, the pain dividing you in two. But he stays his hips, waiting for you.
Waiting.
Unfortunately, it's not long before he slides further in.
"Aaah!"
"Holy—that's good," he groans, almost matching your volume.
You yelp his name, feeling him push down on the small of your back before you were ready. The angle changes dramatically, though the preparation makes it obvious that Yi Dao had done this before.
"Gonna wait a little," he groans, "you okay?"
Your heavy breathing speaks louder than words, your hands tightening in the bamboo mat; you had no frame of reference for this feeling, but whatever it was, you could handle it.
Then he creeps forward, and you almost yell, pushing out a pathetic whine instead.
His voice is taut. "Sorry." He runs a hand down your flank, and you almost cry at the relief, of anything else.
"N-need... a second."
He blissfully obliges. Your elbows bend as you push both of your hands into your hair, gripping tightly.
A hand reaches down. When it finds your cock, you let out a stifled groan.
"Still hard, huh?"
You clamp your teeth together as he's figured the truth. "Are you gonna keep talking?"
He scoffs. "You know me well enough now. Think I'll stop, just for you?"
Your breath stutters as he pushes impossibly further in. You shake, mouth open and primed for the further punishment. Your body begs for more in the shrewd way you don't want to ask, and you feel your knees subconsciously spread a little wider.
"That's the way," he says, witnessing the motion. "Can tell you're struggling."
"It's—" you cover your mouth poorly with the back of your hand, eyes squeezed shut as all you can feel is Yi Dao, not even halfway in. "Do something about it."
"I am. You're going to wait like a good little soldier."
Instead, he leans over your body, and his heat intensifies your own thrumming pulse hammering in your ears. Somehow, you doubt he'd actually wait for you to adjust, until he starts speaking.
"Could tell since the moment you laid eyes on me, pup. Your looks linger too long. You actually give a damn. Been a while since I could see such naked lust."
You groan in response, yet he's still within you, murmuring absurdities in your ear.
You know it's all true, your mind whispers in betrayal.
"Why the hell were you watching me?" you snap, tarrying precious time.
"You're too damn obvious about it. Why you're—" he presses in a little further, and there's surely no way he's completely inside your mouth falling open in shock, "—basically screaming at me since the first night to have you."
The last motion pulls him impossibly deeper, and he lets out a pleased little groan right at your ear. "Yeah," he breathes. "That's it."
You have no words, much too overwhelmed to respond, the stuffed full stretch of his cock the only thing you could feel.
"Nothing to say this time?" he whispers. His hand reaches down and tugs at your leaking cock, and you moan, loud. "Good."
When he pulls out, a wrecked noise leaves you that shifts to a gasp as he plunges his cock back in to the hilt. His hand toys with you more, and there's a high-pitched whine jolted out of you.
It feels like minutes of this slow punishment before you're able to put forward a coherent thought. "Too deep..."
"Want me to stop?"
Your body thrums in protest, rejecting those words, yet your limits are pushed to the end. You feel Yi Dao's breath shivering as your body forfeits the idea by squeezing tight around him.
"That's a no."
Your breaths come in weak noises, then a moan, as he slides out of you to the tip - and straight back in, your used hole protesting his size.
He's far bigger than you actually expected; your body cries out in twinned pleasure and pain. He seems to recognise this quickly, panting as he started a real rhythm that does nothing short of winding you.
Yet you can't bring yourself to ask him nor beg him to stop.
Your mouth drops awful little pleas in the way of pants and moans as he repeats the motion, and there's a little less pain each time he does it. Before long, you're groaning as the angle changes, much like the first time. Your back arches as he forces his way in. There's a little less leverage in the action as Yi Dao realises that you're now lost in the pleasure.
"Good boy."
The heavy drag of Yi Dao's cock sends you tumbling into a small death, and he watches your spine curl as you groan in heat.
"Aah!"
"You look pretty like this," Yi Dao says, and you bite back a retort, his thick cock still shoving back inside as your eyes roll back into your head, like he sowed your body's pleasure in one motion. "Should've done this the first night we met," he growls, biting down on your ear. An unseemly squeak escapes your lips as he presses in to the hilt, leaving himself seated fully within you, without any movement whatsoever.
"That's it, isn't it? You're lost now." His dark chuckle infiltrates your ears. Your body begs silently by pushing back your hips, done with words. "You'll come before me whether you want to or not."
You gasp a final protest, "W-won't..."
Yi Dao's sweet laugh suggests the opposite.
"Scream for me, pup. Tell the stars you're mine."
Your jaw drops at that line, and awfully, your body betrays you as you let out a half-yell that drowns into ragged gasping as two fronts of carnal battles wreck you, his hand jerking you forcefully.
That sends you into fitful shivers, your shoulders cracking as you are haplessly pushed against the mat, moaning with abandon. Your muscles clench around him and you hear the older man's groan like a broken man.
There's a small, kind chuckle before he kisses your hair, sliding between you, frenzied thrusts close to the end. You breathe in starts, face morphing into pleasure the way he pressed needily against that one amazing spot, your own cock spent on the mat, yet still half-hard from the repeated massage.
It isn't long before Yi Dao comes in a wordless shout, his swollen cock pulsing a load of cum in you as you're laying limp, your breath still shuddering in fitful starts and stops.
Far too gently, he leans down and places a much too tame kiss on the corner of your lips. The utmost attention is almost lost on you as you try to kiss back; it doesn't even register that's the first time he's done it.
He slides out of you, silently cleaning the mess. Fabric paws around your groin, though you're not sure whose it is.
"Yi Dao..."
His voice should be smug, but instead his tone is gentle. "Yeah?"
"Knew too much," you mutter, like admitting defeat.
A soft laugh rings in the air. "See you on the new morning, pup. Dream of me."
guilty hands can't hide their plans
once i got a hold on you, i won't let go
on your knees you'll understand
i will follow you forever
like a creature in the black night
creature in the black night - dayseeker