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Soulmates weren't uncommon, nor were they considered common, less than a third of the population discovered they had a soulmate. Or perhaps the number of clan wars just meant that one half of a bond died before they began to share skin. Which could happen anywhere from shared skin at birth or the oldest recorded was in their mid twenties before they began to share skin.
So overall Tobirama didn't really worry about it. Even if he was one of those to have been born with a soulmate, there was no telling when they would share skin. And the fact that it was just him and Hashirama left the odds were high that he would end up married for an alliance of some sort. So just in case he does have a soulmate he made sure to never write on his skin.
However, that didn't mean that things didn't happen by accident.
Like today when he was so engrossed in his new jutsu that he didn't hear Hashirama enter his room and so when Hashirama's hand landed on his shoulder he startled. Enough that he knocked his inkpot across his hand.
He swore, Hashirama laughed, and as soon as the ink was mostly washed off, he forgot about it.
That is until he undressed and got in the bath and down his arm, which has been previously covered by his long sleeve, were the words ‘Hello soulmate,’ he froze completely at the sight of them.
He can’t pretend they aren’t there. Who knows what his soulmate would end up doing if he tried to ignore the words. He’s heard of people drawing on faces to get their soulmates attention. That is something that cannot happen to him. He has no idea how his father would react to the news that he has a soulmate. It could range anywhere from proud and bragging that his son is special enough to have a soulmate, to demanding that Tobirama finds and kills them so they aren’t a threat to whatever plans he has in the future.
His father is a wild card that no one can predict. If Tobirama was younger then the odds would be more in favor of bragging about it and trying to use it to their advantage. But he’s sixteen and he knows his father is already looking into potential matches that will be beneficial for the clan. If his soulmate is from a clan that could give them that then maybe….. No. He can’t risk anything until he knows who his soulmate is.
He hasn’t washed off yet, so he throws his
sleep yukata on and hurries to his room to grab his ink and brush. This would be best done where he could easily wash it off. Thankfully he makes it back to the bathroom without drawing any attention from anyone.
He locks the door behind him and sits on the stool meant for washing off before the bath.
‘Hello.’
It’s only a few minutes before he gets a response. He was nervous that he wouldn’t get one because the writing on his arm could have happened at any time today. It’s been nearly eight hours since he spilled the ink on himself.
‘Are you a shinobi or civilian?’
It’s a good question, but it more or less guarantees that his soulmate is a shinobi.
‘Shinobi. I assume you are as well. What clan are you from?’
If his soulmate was going to be blunt then he would be too. He hates small talk, but had been prepared to go slow in case his soulmate was as apprehensive about having a soulmate as he is.
‘Uchiha.’
He feels his stomach drop to his feet. No. No. There could not be a worse clan for his soulmate to be a part of. There was no chance that they could be together. Worse than that, one day they might battle and then his soulmate will just be gone. It’s unlikely he will recognize them. The only few that he knows by name are the ones in the mainline.
‘Our clans are enemies, please do not contact me again.’
He hopes his soulmate won’t push it. But it’s best for both of them that they stop this now. This way hopefully neither of them will never have to know if the other dies. They can just go on pretending that they are safe.
‘Which clan are you from? I don’t care.’
The absurdity of the words astounds him. ‘I don’t care’?!? How can he say that? Maybe he just needs to know what clan Tobirama is from and then he will realize how serious it is and agree that they must cease all communication.
‘Senju, so as you can see we need to stop communication now. It’s a betrayal of our clans and we would only put each other at risk.’
‘I disagree. My clan doesn’t see soulmates as a betrayal. Our communication isn’t an issue for me or my clan unless I share clan secrets. Which obviously I won’t. Who are you? Would I know you?’
Tobirama has to wash his arm so he has space to continue writing. Clearly his soulmate is an idiot. Even if it’s not considered a betrayal, they can never be, so why would they continue to contact each other?
‘Likely yes. My clan will see it as betrayal. If anyone were to find out they would order me to kill you. We can never meet, we can’t communicate because if we do and we are found out it could mean your death. Don’t tell me anything about yourself. We need to stop this now.’
There. That should scare his soulmate off.
‘HAHA. I’m not worried you would be able to kill me. Unless you are Hashirama you would have no chance.’
No way. Only one person would be so cocky. Maaaybe two. But Izuna wouldn’t call his brother by his name. He’d call him a tree or something. That’s what he usually does when they fight.
‘I’m a better assassin than you give me credit for Madara. I could kill you, just not in an upfront battle. Please stop talking to me. I don’t want to be ordered to do it. No one can know about you. It would break Hashriama’s heart if you died.’
‘What gave me away? Your concern for your brother's heart is what gave you up.’
Damn him. How could he be so foolish as to comment on something so personal? This whole soulmate business has him out of sorts. He needs to get his head back on straight.
‘Well if knowing our clans are enemies wasn’t enough, surely this is. How can we continue when you know I fight your brother with the intent to kill and you fight my own with the same?’
‘I don’t fight you brother with intent to kill and I’m sure you know that. Do you fight Izuna with the intent to kill? Because I’ve heard you have a jutsu that can pull the blood out of a person, yet you’ve never used it against him.’
‘It would drain my chakra too much and then I would have to face the ire of your clan without chakra to protect myself.’
‘That’s a weak excuse. Just admit you aren’t trying to kill him. I’ll talk to Izuna and make sure he does the same.’
‘NO! That will make you a traitor to your clan!’ What kind of idiot is Madara? That is the very definition of betrayal!
‘You already do the same. I’m assuming for your brother. Besides, as I said, my clan doesn’t consider this a betrayal. It will be understood by both my brother and father.’
‘If we continue this one of us will die. Please don’t contact me and refrain from marking your skin in a way that might be noticed by my father. I guarantee he will order one of our deaths.’
Madara doesn’t respond for a long time, the words disappear from his skin and he washes his own words off as well. He doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that Madara actually cutting contact leaves a cold feeling in his chest. This is what he wanted. It was for the best. So why does it sting? It was his own request that Madara was adhering to.
‘I could kill him.’
The words stop him from getting in the bath once again. What would that look like? Hashirama is old enough to take over. But was he ready? How will his clan react to the death of his father at Madara’s hand? How would Hashirama? Could he allow Madara to hurt Hashirama like that?
No. He would die before he saw his brother hurt like that.
‘No. Hashirama isn’t ready to take over clan head duties. You’d be harming him and I could never allow that. I will step between your blade and my father if I must.’
It’s another long wait for Madara to respond.
‘Leave your clan. Come to me. You’re my soulmate, you will never be happier than you will at my side.’
‘And leave your brother to kill my family without me there to face him? Not a chance.’
‘What if he stops fighting?’
The idea is unheard of. Why would Madara even offer that? It would put his clan at a disadvantage. Or at least it would take away the advantage they would have if he was to be off the battlefield.
‘How could I ever trust that? Why would you do that?’
‘I can’t allow you to die. If the only way for you to leave is for Izuna to no longer be a threat to your clan then it’s an easy concession to make.’
‘There is no way your clan would agree to that.’
‘Soulmates are sacred. No one would fight me on this.’
Tobirama doesn’t respond. He washes his arm and gets in the bath. He can’t allow himself to consider this. It’s too tempting. To not be under his fathers thumb? To be with his soulmate? To not have to worry about Izuna on the battlefield or one of them dying?
He wants it. Of course he does. But who will watch Hashirama’s back if he isn’t there. Just because Madara isn’t trying to kill him doesn’t mean no one else would try to take advantage of his unprotected back.
Hashirama has to come first. His happiness will never be worth his brother's life. He would happily die if it gave Hashirama even one more day of happiness.
‘I’m not giving this up. But I will avoid writing to you at any time before late into the night. I will also keep my writing more hidden. I’ll write on my leg instead.’
Tobirama still doesn’t respond. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. He’s in the bath and his brush and ink are far out of reach. He could get out but he isn’t going to waste a perfectly good bath to respond to something that doesn’t require it.
Apparently Madara isn’t going to respect his wishes, but at least he was going to be more discreet about it. It was a concession he was just going to have to accept. That doesn’t mean he has to respond to it though.
Tobirama tries to enjoy his bath but his eyes don’t stray from his arm, even when the words disappear. He can’t help but feel apprehension about it all. His leg also remains bare. It makes the bath far less enjoyable than he usually finds it.
He stays in the bath until the water is cold, needing more privacy in case Madara writes to him again. He doesn’t, and Tobirama eventually reaches the point that he needs to get out and go to sleep. He has a morning of rigorous training with his father. He can’t risk being anything but his typical self or else his father will question him.
Once in bed he falls into a restless sleep. It’s not ideal, and every time he wakes he stresses about the morning to come, which makes it even harder for him to fall asleep.
-.-
Over the next three months Madara asks him every day to come join him. Makes promises of safety, love and care. Or to at least just meet up with him on a mission.
And every day it’s harder to say no.
His father hates him, or at least he doesn’t love him and is constantly angry with him. And he’s just so sick of being the man's verbal punching bag. He stopped hitting them after Hashirama hit back with full force and broke their fathers ribs.
From that day his father held back his anger in front of Hashirama and stopped belittling him. Unfortunately his father hasn’t shown the same restraint with him. Though he’s never tried fighting back. Until Hashirama did it just never occurred to him. And it feels wrong to fight back against just words. He wishes he’d hit back before. But now it’s too late.
Some days he feels like Hashirama would be fine without him, and he really considers Madara’s offer. Others, like today when Hashirama came and flopped on his futon talking about how exhausted he was with this war. That he hates fighting, and how much he hates that their father would rather see their clan's children dead than raise the age of missions. And he knows he can’t consider it. He can’t leave his brother.
Together he lays next to his brother as they stare up at the ceiling, both of them clouded with the grief of losing their younger brothers.
“I know I don’t show it, but I do miss them you know,” Tobirama says quietly. Almost afraid to break the heavy silence that’s surrounding them.
Hashriama looks over at him with surprised eyes, “I know you do. I’ve never doubted that Tobira, not for one moment. Just because we grieve in different ways doesn’t mean you didn’t. I could see how heartbroken you were. You just keep things inside and I let all my feelings out.”
Tobirama feels his throat tighten. He’s always worried his brother found him coldhearted. “I’m glad to hear that,” he chokes out.
Hashirama reaches out to him and pulls their foreheads together. “Did you think I judged you for it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I know a lot of people think I’m cold and heartless.” Even with their faces so close Tobirama can’t bring himself to look his brother in the eyes.
“Oh Tobira. Not me. Never me. I know who you are. And I love you just the way you are. I’d never want to change anything. You keep me strong. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The words should be reassuring. They should make him happy. But they break his heart. He knows there is no world in which he can be with Madara. Not as long as their fathers live. And probably not after even. Madara has given no indication he wants peace between their clans. Just for him to join them.
Hashirama's hand rests on his cheek. “What did you just think? It was painful, I could tell.”
Tobirama looks down, “it’s nothing of consequence.”
“Yes it is. I can see clearly that it is. What was it?”
“Can you just drop it anija? It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does. It does matter because it hurt you.”
Tobirama pulls his face away and sits up, “it doesn’t. It’s impossible so it doesn’t matter? Why dwell on things that can never be?”
Hashirama sits up slowly next to him. “Tell me anyway.”
“I can’t.” Tobirama responds with tightly closed eyes.
“Why?! I don’t understand. Why aren’t you telling me?”
Hashirama’s hurt and confusion makes it impossible to keep quiet. Why had he chosen now of all times to not control his facial expression? The conversation had made him weak and open.
“Because knowing will hurt you worse.”
“Nothing could hurt me worse than knowing you are hurting but don’t trust me enough to tell me why.” It’s manipulative, he knows Hashirama is doing it intentionally. But that doesn't stop him from flinching.
He takes a stabilizing breath. “I have a soulmate.” He’s surprised at how much lighter he feels saying it out loud.
He’s not looking up at Hashirama so he doesn’t see his face but his sharp intake of air tells him exactly how shocked Hashirama is.
“You have a soulmate? How long have you known? Who are they? Tell me everything about them? Is it a girl or a boy? You’ve never shown an interest in either gender so I’ll admit I’m not really sure about your preferences.” The words are thrown out a mile a minute and it takes Tobirama a moment to actually process the words.
“A few months, he’s…. Well. I don’t know how to tell you who he is. Will you promise not to be angry at me? I didn’t choose him. And I already told him we can never be together.”
“What? Why? And of course I promise. Why would i be mad at you for who your soulmate it?” Hashirama questions slowly in confusion.
“Because he’s Madara.”
“Madara. Uchiha Madara?!” His brother screeches.
“Keep your voice down! What if father came home and heard you!” Tobirama snaps. “And yes Uchiha Madara. So you see why it’s hopeless and I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Does he know who you are?”
“....He does.”
“And what does he think of it?”
“He…he’s been trying to convince me to leave. To join the Uchiha.”
“How could he possibly think you would do that?”
Tobirama rubs the back of his head, this was… it was harder to say. He wasn’t actually sure what Hashirama would think of it. But he has a strong suspicion that if he knew Tobirama would be safe and their clan wouldn’t be in any more danger. Better yet if Madara’s brother was also safe, he would push Tobirama to leave.
And he doesn’t know if he wants that or not. But he knows he doesn’t want his brother to be alone with no one to watch his back.
“He said if I join them then Izuna will permanently stay off the battlefield. So both our clans would remain equal.”
Hashirama laughs in disbelief. “Does he think you would believe that? There is no way his clan would agree to that. No clan would.”
“They already have. Apparently soulmates are considered sacred to the Uchiha. I suppose it could be a lie. But I believe him.” Which really is probably stupid. But he really does.
Hashirama just sits in silence staring at him for several uncomfortable minutes. “You need to go.”
Tobirama feels a mix of apprehension and relief. “I can’t leave you anija. Who will watch your back?”
“Touka. Just like she does whenever you are on a mission,” Hashirama responds simply.
Which…is true. But still. He can’t just leave. He can’t.
“I’m not going to leave you to father alone,” he argues.
Hashirama just waves him off. “Father avoids me whenever he can now anyway. Besides, this is just going to be more of an incentive to make peace.”
His eyes blow wide, “you’re going to tell the clan?!” He asks terrified. He doesn’t want them to all see him as a traitor, choosing their generations long enemies over his family.
Hashirama just snorts, “of course not. I meant for me. And probably for Madara. If he really wants you he will know that our clans being at war hurts you. So once father is out of the way, oh and probably Madara’s, we will make peace. Or he can try to fight it and I will make him. Because I’m not going to lose you forever,” Hashirama threatens cheerfully.
“This is why people think you are scary, you know. You smile and sound so cheerful while threatening people.”
“Oh I know,” Hashirama laughs with a wide grin. “It’s the way I like it. A little fear is good for people.”
Tobirama just raises his eyebrow judgementally.
“It is! It makes the elders afraid to fight me all out when I suggest cease fires or anything like that.”
Which was true enough, it just didn’t work on their father so nothing had happened yet.
“I can’t leave you anija.”
“Yes you can,” his brother responds with a soft smile. “I don’t want you gone, I’d never want that. But I need you to be happy. It’s the most important thing. I would hurt every day I watched you here, miserable, knowing you could be happy with your soul mate.”
Tobirama has tears in his eyes. It’s everything he dreamt of and feared all in one. “I’ll miss you every day.”
“How do you communicate with Madara?”
“On my leg, why?”
“I’m going to talk to him.”
Tobirama’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Isn’t that a little risky?” Even though he knows his father is on the other side of the compound right now he has to look back and forth just to make sure they are alone. It’s a fear he’s had since they first started this conversation.
“No, it needs to happen.”
“He might not notice.”
“Then can we write on your arm?
That leaves him even more nervous. “What if father comes home and we don’t notice him?”
Before his sentence is ever completed vines have come out of the ground to cover his door and window. Well, that certainly works.
“Hand me your arm please.”
Tobirama hands Hashirama his arm to do with as he wishes.
Hashirama starts by drawing an arrow on his hand pointing up to his arm. That will likely get Madara’s attention. And then he starts writing.
‘Madara, I have convinced my brother to do as you requested. Promise me he will be safe with you.’
‘Hashirama?!?!’
‘Yes. Tobirama finally told me the truth about you and I can’t let him stay miserable here when I know he will be happier with the person meant for him. But swear to me you aren’t lying and Izuna will stop fighting and that he will be safe.’
‘I swear on my life.’
‘Then I will trust you. I need another promise from you. When we are both clan heads we will work towards peace.’
‘I will not spend the rest of my life fighting my brothers soul mate, and I will not be kept from Tobirama forever.’
It takes a minute for Madara to respond. He wonders if he’s talking to someone or just considering it.
‘I accept those terms. Once your father is dead my father has promised me that he will pursue peace. He agrees that it’s wrong to fight against family. And with Tobirama being my soulmate, it makes you family.’
He can tell by the look on Hashirama’s face that he’s just as shocked as he is.
“I can’t believe Tajima agreed to it,” Hashirama’s jaw drops in shock.
Tobirama isn’t actually that surprised, “Madara has told me a lot about how his clan feels about soulmates. I’m not actually that surprised. I was for a moment, but then I remembered everything Madara has told me.”
“Well, I suppose that’s even more of a reason to go. I can assign you to border patrol. Leave your happuri and some blood on it. The clan knows you. Knows that you would never give it up unless you were dead.”
“Anija,” Tobirama says with his voice wobbling in a way it never has. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you love me and you’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss you.”
“I do. I love you so much anija. No one will ever be more important to me. Not even Madara. My heart won’t be complete until we are together again.”
Hashirama starts crying, not his dramatic crying, but real tears. “I’m going to miss you so much, Tobira. You take my heart with you.”
Tobirama’s eyes well up with tears, they don’t fall but that doesn’t mean he’s any less sad.
Hashirama pulls Tobirama tight against his chest. Usually Tobirama doesn’t like it when Hashirama squeezes him like this. But just this once he doesn’t mind.
“First thing in the morning go. Okay? Don’t wait on it.”
‘Madara. I’m trusting you with the most important person in my life, if you harm him in any way I swear I will command my mokuton to devour your entire compound. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. Keep him safe.’
‘I was going to anyway, but I understand. I would feel the same if it was Izuna.’
‘He’s going to come in the morning, be ready for him. I’m sending him on border patrol, if you can, help fake his death.’
‘I will.’
‘Goodbye for now,’
‘Thank you Hashirama.’
‘I’m not doing it for you.’
‘I know.’
“Okay we need to wash your arm now. We can’t leave any sign of this. Will Madara wash his?”
“Yes, he always does right when we stop.’
While they are washing his own arm, Madara’s writing starts to disappear too.
“I’ll send Madara with notes for when you two battle,” Tobirama promises.
“Sleep in my room tonight. Just one more time.”
“Of course. I want the same thing. I need one more night with you before I don’t see you for who knows how long.”
That night is full of tears and heartful hugs.
When the morning comes, Hashirama puts in the border patrol mission and Tobirama leaves. They can’t risk a hug because people might see, but they hugged just before they left the house.
Despite that he still wishes he could pull Hashirama to him one more time.
He takes one last look at his brother before leaving. “See you soon anija.”
“See you soon Tobira.”
With those final words he’s gone.
-.-
OMAKE
When Tobirama gets word that his father is dead the only feeling he has is relief.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Madara asks with concern, pulling Tobirama into his arms.
“I’ve been waiting for this day for five years. I’m happy. I’ll finally get to see anija again.” He pauses and looks up at Madara, “I do right?”
Madara puts his head and Tobirama’s shoulder, “I promised you didn’t I?”
Tobirama leans back into Madara’s chest. “Thank you Madara.”
“Of course my flame, I talked to my father before I came to you. He’s already talking with the elders and planning their treaty agreement.”
Tobirama leans his head back and tilts it so it takes only a small movement for Madara to kiss him. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever dreamt of.”
“Good, that’s always been my goal.”
-.-
The end.