Chapter Text
The boys are rowdy as they walk into their shared space. They'd finished up their tour now and would have a little while off. Everyone is pleasantly buzzing. Just good moods all around....that is until they notice their girlfriend sitting on the sectional cross-legged.
Even though it's late afternoon, Layla's still in her pajamas, which today were surprisingly decent (for her). Her pajama pants are loose on her hips, a bit too big, and her cropped tank barely holds her tits. Her bun is loose, messy, and frizzy, and she's got her laptop in front of her with the screen dark.
There's no telling how long she's been like that, but her eyes look unfocused behind her glasses.
Most of the boys get scared. She seems upset, but they're not sure why. Seonghwa is the only one who can tell she's frustrated, but not with them, and Yunho can tell she's actually needy.
"Love. What's wrong?" Seonghwa calls the first to break the silence.
Layla sighs before turning her head.
"I'm sorry for not greeting you guys, I was just... distracted."
"By what?" Mingi tries.
She just shakes her head and turns back around. Another sigh falls from her lips as the laptop screen lights back up.
The guys share a look before deciding to crowd her. They all want to be as close to her as possible but already learned their lesson about too much of that.
It comes as no surprise that Wooyoung scrambles to her side first. Seonghwa and Hongjoong are right on the other side. Mingi and Yunho are within arms reach but on one of the sectional parts farther away. San, Yeosang, and Jongho find a seat near the other side.
The guys watch as Layla sighs again pushing her glasses up her forehead and pressing her palms to her eyes. Seonghwa's arm snakes around her middle and Wooyoung grabs her hands and starts to kiss them.
Her eyes are still closed, but some of the tension seems to unravel as she giggles softly. Her being ticklish is something they'd found out early on.
Seonghwa grabs her by the chin.
"Look at me," he says and they watch as her eyes flutter open and her face starts to flush.
"You did not just say that to me," she breathes.
Seonghwa quirks a brow.
"Hey, don't make that stupid face. It's you guys' fault I haven't been able to focus all day,"
"All day?" Hongjoong mumbles.
"Yes. All. Fucking. Day. I've been up for at least 4 hours and haven't done anything productive," she replies, cutting her eyes at him.
A few of them shrink back at her gaze.
"I thought we all agreed working on Sundays wasn't good for you?" Seonghwa asks in that authoritative voice he uses when someone is in trouble.
The other members would typically shy away from the scolding but Layla just scoffs.
"Which is rich coming from you guys. You all work every day and have for like the last several years, especially Hongjoong," she snaps back.
Seonghwa grumbles something, obviously deciding not to argue.
"Besides the unproductivity, what's been going on?" Mingi tries again, his knee knocking Yunho's as he leans forward slightly.
"It's embarrassing," she grumbles, clearly wanting to hide, but can't because Seonghwa still has a hand on her face and Wooyoung is still playing with her hands.
Mingi wants to just drop it- his body is still singing with the after-show adrenaline and he just wants to fuck someone. He'd rather hole up and get himself off if she doesn't want to talk about it. Jongho and Yeosang seem to have the same idea.
Instead, Yunho gently pushes him back and cocks his head at Wooyoung. He gently pushed Seonghwa's hand away and climbed into her lap.
"We'll just have to force it out of you then."
"Oh? And how do you plan on doing that?
"Maybe I could eat you out right here," Wooyoung offers.
"Right~ because that's a punishment to anyone. You like cum just as much as the next slut,"
And poor Wooyoung actually moans at that, his eyes falling closed.
The corner of her mouth quirks up, and she tries not to laugh at Wooyoung's desperation. Layla softly pushes him away, and she goes to get up and leave, but Yunho roughly pulls her into his lap.
Wooyoung has a cute pout that's puffing out his lips, but nobody can really focus on that.
"Yunho, what the fuck! Why do you-" but she's cut off by him kissing her hard.
Her eyes fall close as she kisses him back, her hands fisting his shirt. The rest of the group watch, shocked and a little jealous (and turned on).
When they pull away, she looks less stressed, and Mingi wonders why he hadn't thought of doing that first.
"Do you remember what we talked about the other day?" Yunho asks.
Layla seems to think for a moment before nodding.
"Yeah? I won't even mention it if you don't tell us what's going on."
"What? A girl can't have any secrets?" she asks, pouty.
The pouty look, plus her overall disheveled appearance, was giving the guys cuteness aggression.
"Not when it's bothering you this bad," Hongjoong says, surprisingly stern.
"Besides, if you do, I'll let you ride Mingi's thigh," Yunho whispers loud enough for just the three of them to hear.
"Really?" she asks, eagerly looking over at Mingi.
Even though Mingi's slightly annoyed, the thought still makes him horny, and the eager look on her face makes him feel so fond.
"Yeah," Mingi agrees.
She sighs before moving around on Yunho's lap causing his dick to stir. He can feel a wet patch somewhere on her pajamas, but can't determine when it got there.
"You guys promise you won't judge me?"
The majority roll their eyes at the theatrics of it all.
"I get off so bad on gay porn and it's all I've been able to think about the last few days. But not in the way you guys might think. It's not about there being two dicks- well kinda- I get jealous. I kept thinking about you guys, and I got jealous and needy. It's so stupid, but I thought, 'damn if only I had a dick to fill my pretty boys up too.' It's not fair that I can't cum inside you guys and say stupid things about fucking you all pregnant. I thought about how maybe you'd all like me better if I did have a dick and it made me feel so fucking dumb."
The responses are varied, but she's now looking down at the floor. Yunho circles a soothing hand on her back as it seems like she's about to cry.
"Did you have anything else you wanted to say?" Yeosang asks, and it's in that soft voice that makes her head swim.
"I- fuck and I don't think it's really in a trans way. I don't always want a dick okay? It's just- like, instead of pegging, I'd really be able to fuck you when we wanted. God, this is so idiotic," she continues.
They want to give her space to continue, but this is NOT what they were expecting. She still can't look at anyone.
"I like feeling full. I like it when you guys joke about knocking me up. I like being a “girl” for the most part. It's just- it reminded me of when I used to hear fan theories of you guys and then knowing you really did do some of that. I- anyway, it made me so needy, but I wasn't going to inconvenience you guys. I was fucking insatiable. I came at least 5 times, and it still wasn't enough; I still had to sleep with a toy in, and I was so sore. I've been needy and have felt like a pathetic idiot all day, and I have assignments due TONIGHT without a single lecture watched,"
And she didn't add it, but she obviously hadn't slept well either. She finally shuffles away from them and goes to the kitchen.
Her pants have fallen even more now and they can see the smooth skin of her hips and the top of her crack. She wasn't wearing panties, and there was a wet patch on the back that Yunho had felt.
Nobody can think straight. They were all painfully hard and some of them were even leaking in their pants. Luckily, they'd already showered and changed, so they didn't have to worry about ruining their stage clothes.
They wanted to do something, anything to show her that it was nonsense and that she was perfect. She didn't need a detachable dick or whatever she was trying to explain to them either. (Even if it would be hot for her to be able to cum inside them too.)
They want to ask what's taking so long and rush her back over but they already knew how she was by now. She was probably in there agonizing over it all by herself.
The three oldest members were the only ones who could get her back in there but they couldn't even gather their own thoughts.
"Did you know that?" San finally croaks his face pink with shock.
Everyone shakes their heads but he was mostly asking Yunho. Yunho had known Layla the longest, but they hadn't tried much before this whole arrangement was organized.
He didn't know her that much better than everyone else. At least he didn't think he did.
Seonghwa goes to retrieve her finally and isn't surprised to find her leaning her back against the sink with an arm thrown over her eyes.
"Leave me alone, Hwa,"
"How'd you know it was me?"
"Right," she says sarcastically, and Seonghwa can almost hear Layla's eyes roll.
"Yunho and Joong probably feel all weird right now. Pretty sure I leaked all over Yuyu and I know he's hard," she mumbles.
"What if I send the kids away so you can get your work done? Once you're done I'm sure someone will be eager to take care of you,"
She whines in a frustrated response.
"Don't wanna do my work, just wanna hide from everyone. I'm so fucking embarrassed, Hwa,"
"You should really watch your mouth. I've told you about that."
He can almost see the bratty response flicker behind her eyes as she moves her arm, but he cuts her off.
"Uh-uh, now come on, let's be responsible."
Layla huffs but lets Hwa drag her back to her laptop.
"You guys go figure it out. We've gotta get her into "responsibility" mode or none of us will hear the end of it," Hwa says, and is met with huffs and groans as the younger guys dissipate.
Seonghwa is right, of course. The last time she wasn't able to turn an assignment in on time they thought she'd have a full breakdown. Yunho gives a quick, reassuring squeeze to her hand as Mingi drags him away.
Hongjoong stays behind, though. Partially curious and partially because his usual partners were still here.
Layla finally logs back into her laptop and cleans her glasses before beginning to read the lecture materials. It's pretty boring, and she really doesn't want to do it now. She skims through almost everything before tackling her lectures.
There's a comfy but charged silence among them broken only by the professor's lecture on how to properly analyze text. She takes notes in another tab and it's at least 30 uninterrupted minutes of this.
In Mingi's room, he's got a firm hand over Yunho's mouth as he finally gets to fuck somebody. Their skin is shiny with sweat and Mingi's already bit hard into Yunho's shoulder in his effort to keep quiet.
In San's room, Wooyoung is sucking Jongho off, Yeosang's kissing Jongho eagerly, swallowing all the soft noises he makes as San is opened up with his fingers.
If they weren't being so filthy, it'd actually be kind of cute how considerate they were trying to be.
Hongjoong has his head on Seonghwa's shoulder as they watch Layla. She's chewing her bottom lip and making various confused faces as she tries to get her work done. From what they can see, it shouldn't be too much longer.
"You've gotta be kidding me," she mumbles, frustrated.
"What's wrong?" Hongjoong asks, now feeling a little sleepy.
"It's about to die,"
"Go sit at my desk. You should be able to use my charger," Seonghwa says.
"Okay. You don't wanna come lay down, Joongbug?"
Hongjoong shakes his head briefly before she goes down the hall and into Seonghwa's room.
Layla's laptop is plugged up just in the nick of time, and she immediately zeroes back in on her assignment.
The younger members gradually get worn out and cleaned up.
When Layla's almost done, San comes and lies down in Seonghwa's room. He's just watching her the same way his hyungs were earlier.
"We're ordering dinner," Wooyoung says, breaking the peaceful silence.
"I don't want anything specific," Layla replies, only half-paying attention.
"I want-" San starts.
"I already let them know, Sannie,"
San gives him an eye roll and a fond smile.
A few moments later, she's stretching and closing the laptop.
"All done?" San asks softly.
"Mhm," she hums in response, looking content to stay curled in Seonghwa's desk chair.
"Let's go get you cleaned up," he continues pulling her to her feet.
Layla just lets him do that and stands there as he runs a bath for her. San doesn't fill the bath up too much, afraid her height and full figure would make the water spill over.
She begins to strip down, and San can't help but admire her. Her breasts are full and heavy and she has a cute tummy with thick thighs and wide hips.
When Layla notices San looking he blushes and turns his head away.
"You can look, Sannie. Not like it's not something you haven't already seen,"
"I'm trying to be a gentleman."
"You should teach Youngie that."
San eventually turns his head back and now openly admires her curves.
"You're so pretty, Layla,"
She just hums softly in response before slipping into the water.
San takes her glasses off her face and sets them on the counter. His hands take her hair out of the tight bun it's in, and her curls bounce free.
"Still needy or just sleepy? We don't have a lot of time,"
"What do you think?"
"I think that's no way to talk to someone who can make you see stars,"
She quirks an eyebrow, and San doesn't need much more of an invitation.
After that, San is attentive and takes care of everything. From washing her curls to making sure there's no dirt under her nails. Her hair is completely detangled by the time he wraps her in a warm, fluffy towel. Then he gives her some privacy while she changes.
When he gets out into the dining area the food has only just arrived and Seonghwa and Jongho are setting up the table. Mingi is giving San a look that he doesn't want to decipher.
Mingi wasn't usually jealous; I mean how could he really be? They all fucked each other.
Although Mingi had been weirdly possessive yet distant lately.
The boys start to eat in a weird silence.
When Layla joins the group she has on a pair of Mingi's pajama pants and another tiny tank top with a hair-drying shirt draped over her shoulders. They could tell she'd already put product in her hair and it was probably mostly detangled but she'd brought a brush along just in case.
Layla takes a seat between Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Jongho. And Wooyoung immediately crawls into her lap. She lets out a giggle that helps to break some of the tension.
"I still haven't gotten any kisses," Wooyoung pouts as he starts to feed Layla.
She rolls her eyes at him while chewing.
"Even though you were sucking dick earlier?"
Wooyoung flushes scarlet.
"How do you even know that!?" he asks loudly, mildly confused and very embarrassed.
“I know how much you like having things in your pretty mouth,” she replies, winking and gripping his waist harder so he can't move much.
Wooyoung hides his face in her neck. Jongho flusters as well and looks away. Layla moves a hand off of Wooyoung's waist and continues eating.
Seonghwa notices her hair getting into her face and decides to go brush it and attempt to braid it away. His hands are a little clumsy but he's also very gentle. When he's done it's not the best looking braid ever but it's doing the job and Seonghwa's heart flutters as Layla gives him a smile of appreciation.
"Thank you, Hwa," Layla adds and all the boys have a similar lovesick expression.
When she notices she just gives them all equally fond smiles.
"Youngie, stop hiding. I know you're not full yet," Layla encourages softly.
"Sannie marked you up so pretty, it's not fair," Wooyoung mumbles.
And she can see some of the other guys shaking their heads in agreement.
"You guys can't be serious. Are you all jealous?"
"Why would we be jealous?" Seonghwa asked but his voice was a bit harder than usual.
“If we're being jealous, should I count how many times y’all have had sex without me? And I don't mean from way before. I mean just this week,” Layla challenges.
They don't say anything else but they can tell she seems to be a bit upset.
“Should we talk about it?” Hongjoong asks.
“No. I feel bad for snapping. Y'all can just be so ridiculous sometimes. There's only one of me, loves.”
“Wooyoung eat,” she adds in a softer voice.
Wooyoung does start to eat again albeit reluctantly.
Once they've finally gotten through a surprisingly awkward dinner they clean up. Things hadn't been that awkward since they'd first started dating. Layla helps Seonghwa with putting up leftovers and the dishes.
“Hwa can I sleep in your room tonight?” Layla asks in a soft voice.
He can hardly find it to say no to her.
“Of course, jagiya.”
The other boys are a little pouty but wouldn't dare say anything else to upset Layla. They all start to go their separate ways.
Wooyoung, Hongjoong, and Jongho are all given hugs before they leave.
Yunho debates staying over to make sure she's okay but isn't sure.
“I don't wanna leave Sangie by himself,” he murmurs as he thinks.
“What if you stay here with Mingi and I'll go home with Sangie?” San suggests rubbing soothing circles on his back.
“Are you sure?” Yunho asks.
“Yeah. I guess it's partially my fault anyway,”
“Okay. See you for breakfast?”
“Yeah we'll be back here in the morning,”
Seonghwa and Layla finish getting ready for bed side by side. Seonghwa is a little surprised when she lays her head on his chest.
“Hwa?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry for fussing darling. The younger guys are just so frustrating sometimes. I was supposed to spend the night with Mingi but I thought if I did I might strangle him,”
“Is that what you three were whispering about earlier?”
She nods and he hums in response.
“Are you really upset with them or something else?”
“Both I guess. I'm jealous too. I said it earlier but sometimes I really do wish I had a dick. And I'm jealous of the connection you've all had for longer. Sometimes I think you'd all like me a lot better if I was a boy. I think I should've just dated a girl,”
“Why do you think that?”
Layla nuzzles her face more into Seonghwa's chest.
“Because sometimes it just feels like I'm not needed. Like do you guys actually like me or just like having pussy around? What if there was someone else that'd do the same things? Would a woman think like that?”
“I’ve told you about being so insecure. If you have a problem just tell us. You've gotta use your words, pretty,”
“You guys wouldn't get it even if I explained,” she sniffles.
Seonghwa shifts, sitting up and pulling Layla with him. He wraps strong arms around her back. Layla nuzzles into his chest like if she tried hard enough she could crawl inside and live there. He gently starts to rock them back and forth and notices her shaking.
Layla isn't a loud or messy crier but she can cry for a while and he can only hope she'll actually feel better when she's done. He continues to rub her back as he feels her hiccup.
Once she's calmed down Seonghwa cleans her face with his thumbs then peppers it with kisses.
“You're perfect for us, you know that?” Seonghwa asks softly.
“Really?”
“Mhm. Nobody can replace our Layla. It's just you. You're the only one, jagi. We all love you so much,”
“Oh Hwa. I know I just-”
“Want me to prove it?”
“Huh?”
“You're perfect the way you are. I'll show you,”
After his loving demonstration, Seonghwa looks up at Layla seriously.
“What is it?”
“What'd you mean earlier?”
“We can talk about it in the morning, baby. I'm sleepy. You wore me out,”
Seonghwa doesn't press and lets her drift to sleep.
In the morning, Seonghwa wakes up first and is stunned by how pretty and peaceful Layla looks in her sleep. The braid he'd put in her hair is now loose and stray hairs are fanning across her face.
He brushes a strand from her eyes and he's met with them fluttering open to look at him.
“Good morning, pretty,” she greets, voice still heavy with sleep.
“Good morning, angel. Sleep well?”
“Mhm -ah! That hurt,” Layla says, a sore back made evident by her stretching.
“What hurt? Is it my fault?”
“Huh? No I don't think so Hwa. I'm just an old lady,”
“If you're old, what does that make us?”
Layla laughs, shrugging playfully. They get ready for the day together Seonghwa insisting that she just watch as he makes breakfast.
At the smell of breakfast cooking Yunho and Mingi emerge from Mingi's room. Good morning kisses are exchanged and then Mingi and Yunho are taking a seat by Layla.
“How come you're not helping Hyung cook?” Mingi asks.
“How could I possibly make our beautiful girlfriend cook?”
Mingi and Yunho give Seonghwa a look before laughing.
“Yeah sure but seriously,” Yunho presses.
“My back’s a little sore so he doesn't want me doing anything,” Layla admits softly.
Seonghwa glares at her playfully before turning back to the stove.
“Want a massage?” Mingi asks before anyone can interject.
Layla nods then turns the chair so her front is to its back. Mingi gulps in anticipation. His hands are a little clumsy but press at the perfect pressure to help relieve some of the tension in Layla’s back.
Soon she's making soft groans and whines that have them all on edge.
“Mhm and I'm sorry for ditching you last night, Min. I was just angry and didn't wanna take it out on you,”
“You could've. I wouldn't have minded,”
“I'm not in the kinda headspace I should be to do that. But I'll remember that, you freak,”
Her words cause Mingi to let out a soft whine of his own.
“Hey no fucking in the kitchen,” Wooyoung says by way of greeting.
“Come on Min, I'll take care of it quickly,”
Layla and Mingi disappear into Mingi's room just as Hongjoong and Jongho arrive.
A few moments later Yeosang and San follow.
Layla swallows just as Seonghwa announces that breakfast is ready. Mingi kisses her roughly earning a soft moan before he's swatted playfully. They wash their hands before joining everyone else at the table.
“You've got cum on your face still,” Wooyoung whispers before pulling Layla into a possessive kiss.
Layla pushes him back softly before moving to the seat by Seonghwa. He squeezes her hand under the table.
Everyone has started to eat already although they're a little nervous about what that means.
“Guys we have something to tell you all,”
Everyone looks clueless before Layla continues.
“My period is late,”
Everyone looks at each other confused and poor Yeosang actually chokes.
“Stop messing around,” Yunho scolds.
“Fine, fine. It's related though,”
“What's wrong?” Hongjoong asks now worried.
“I'm infertile,” Layla admits softly, looking down at the floor.
“So that's why you said I didn't have to feel bad…but are you sure?” Seonghwa asks.
“Yeah I rarely ovulate and don't make a lot of estrogen. I'm probably never going to get pregnant is what the doctors said. And even if I do it'd be a whole thing. I'm basically not even a woman it's cool,”
“But you sound so bothered,” Hongjoong points out with a concerned look.
“I mean cause society. I have to have the ability to be a mom to be a “real” girl, that's what they say but I can't so what am I?”
“Do you even care about that?” San asks.
“I don't know! I think I do. I mean shouldn't I? Anyway, I think that's why my gender is so icky. Even though I know it's bullshit I partially feel disconnected from feminity cause my parts don't work,”
“Did you even wanna have kids?” Jongho now questions.
“I don't know. I thought I did. But eight men is already so much to deal with adding kids sounds like too much,”
Wooyoung seems to pout a little in disappointment.
“So that means no baby LaLas running around?” Wooyoung asks immediately.
“Well in a perfect world you'd be pregnant Youngie, not me. I didn't wanna give birth anyway. But maybe I’ll find some babies just for us when I'm a bit older,”
Some of them slowly begin eating again.
“It's a big deal cause it matters to you, La but I don't care if we have biological kids. Especially if it could hurt you,” Mingi says.
The others agree.
“What do you mean by that?” Wooyoung asks.
“Wooyo you'd be a great mom. If the roles were reversed I don't think I could stop myself from knocking you up. I think about it every once in awhile and it kills me,”
“That you can't get Wooyoung pregnant?” San asks, clearly confused.
“Mhm and Hwa too. The urge to breed them is always there boiling beneath the surface but no I had to have this stupid pussy,” Layla murmurs, seemingly irritated.
The guys hardly know how to process this information and the rest of breakfast feels slightly off.
A few hours later, Layla is buried under Mingi, Wooyoung, and San.
“Oh! Guys I've gotta go!” Layla says suddenly, looking at her phone and detangling herself from the mess of limbs surrounding her.
“But everyone's off today!” Wooyoung protests immediately.
“I know, baby, but I'm supposed to go with Seulie to pick up someone from the airport. And supposedly they brought their little daughter and I want her to think I'm cool!”
“But you said you'd spend time with us today,” Mingi whines.
“I know! This is last minute though and I can't miss it!” Layla responds.
She changes quickly and then is blowing kisses and waving as she leaves the dorm.
~
It's a few hours later when they finally get an update.
L: Guys look!!
L: *5 images attached*
In the first few pictures Layla, Iseul, and some guy are standing together smiling as Layla holds a little girl on her hip.
The guy is looking at Layla fondly almost like there was a deeper connection he'd missed. That couldn't be, right?
In the next couple pictures the little girl has fallen asleep on Layla. The sight is as endearing as it is painful with the news she'd just shared with them. That might never be theirs.
The Guys
L: This is Lena! She's adorable right?
L: She said I was super pretty 🥹
L: Like oh? Seriously? Me?
HJ: She's adorable
SH: We tell you that you're gorgeous all the time
MG: Yes YOU silly you're very pretty
CS: I think you're too gorgeous for us all the time
WY: Now I wanna see you interact with Kyungmin
YS: I’m surprised you haven’t already introduced them
CS: She’s good with kids
YH: You seem to get prettier in every new picture
WY: Can't believe you ditched us to look this pretty with some other guy
CS: And you covered up our marks 😔
JH: Like she could show that kinda thing off in front of a little girl
SH: Especially one she’s trying to make a good impression on
CS: But what about other people trying to flirt?
L: Don’t pout! He wouldn’t flirt with me
HJ: Who is he?
L: Seulie’s younger brother! He knows better
YH: Does he really though?
L: You guys don’t have anything to worry about
L: Anyways I should be back soon! Seulie’s gonna drop me off 🙂
When Iseul arrives with Layla she looks exhausted but happy she can trust the guys to take care of her best friend.
“I'll leave her in your capable hands,”
“Here princess come sit down,” Yunho calls Layla over.
Layla frowns, convinced she's in trouble for something but still decides to obey. She settles between Yunho and San.
“What is it?” Layla asks, afraid of what this possibly means.
“Don't look so scared,” San mumbles, squeezing her hand in reassurance.
She nods.
“La we've been thinking about what you were saying earlier and you know we've had struggles with gender too,” Hongjoong starts.
“And our appearance. We had to gain confidence over the years and we'll help you do the same, love,” Seonghwa adds.
“I do know that. But what do you mean?”
“We had people that loved us and so do you. We'll help you love yourself,” Yunho concludes with a hand coming to rub her lower back.
“But why do I even deserve that?” Layla mumbles.
Wooyoung kneels in front of her and grabs her hands.
“Angel, you've helped us in ways you don't even know. We're so lucky to have you in our lives,” Wooyoung says.
“Even if I can never have a baby? Or marry you guys? Or decide to move away? Or we-” Layla starts to ramble.
“Even if you can't have kids. Even if we don't get married or you only marry one of us. Even if you get top surgery. Even if you quit your job. Even if you move back home. Even if you start hating us. We'll always be there for you, sunshine,” Mingi reassures her.
“But I don't deserve that. You guys deserve so much better than me. I- I can't-” Layla exclaims before choking on a sob.
She goes to run away but Yunho and San stop her with a hug. Wooyoung gently removes her glasses.
“We fell in love with who you are, Layla. It wouldn't have mattered what you looked like or did. We love you because you're you. You don't have to hide your pain behind jokes or pretend to be okay when you're not. You have a beautiful soul,” Yeosang adds, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.
“But you guys have no reason to say that! There's no reason for you to like me!”
“Who cares! We already love you and nobody's going to change our minds, not even you,” San argues, pulling away to look at her.
Layla sits there and continues to cry for a while.
When she finally starts to calm down she's exhausted and nobody wants to move.
Yunho moves her to Mingi's bed and the worried looks and silence are suffocating.
“I don't know what to do. I swear it never was this bad when it was just us,” Yunho says softly brows knitting in concern.
“Maybe she didn't wanna worry you so she was hiding it,” Yeosang suggests softly.
“But why would she do that? Didn't she trust me?”
“Yuyu you probably couldn't handle it on your own that's all,” Hongjoong adds, trying to reassure him.
“So was I just a bad boyfriend?”
“Yuyu you know that's not true!” Wooyoung argues, upset that he'd even think that.
“But isn't it?”
“Come on. It's getting late. Why don't we talk about it later?” Seonghwa suggests.
Yunho pouts but doesn't argue.
“Stay with me tonight, Yuyu. We'll figure it out,” Mingi suggests pulling his boyfriend up with him.
Yunho nods his head in agreement.
“I'll stay over with Young-ah. Don't worry about me,” Yeosang says.
The guys disperse with hugs and kisses.
“Min, Yun. Are you sure you two are okay?” Seonghwa asks after everyone else has left.
“What are you talking about?” Mingi asks, poorly hiding his watery eyes.
“You’ve been off for weeks now,” San says hand coming to caress the side of Mingi's face.
“I don't know. I've just been dealing with a lot, I guess,”
“But we hate seeing you like that, princess,” Yunho says, turning his face to Mingi's.
“It doesn't matter anymore, let's just go take care of Layla, yeah?” Mingi deflects.
Seonghwa and San share concerned looks but don't push it.
Mingi and Yunho get ready for bed together and then get Layla ready without rousing her.
They lay on either side of her and cuddle to her closely.
“You don't want to talk about it?” Yunho asks.
“No. I don't even know what's wrong with me,”
“Princess, it's okay. We'll figure it out together, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Mingi agrees, pressing a kiss to the back of Yunho's hand.
In the morning everyone wakes up before Layla even though it's much later than anyone would usually wake up. When Yunho and Mingi get out of bed still half-asleep she doesn't look any less troubled. Like she's having nightmares or something.
Seonghwa is making breakfast and San is snacking on some fruit that he must've picked up earlier in the morning.
“Morning you two. How's Layla?” Seonghwa says.
“She still looks troubled honestly even though she's still sleeping,” Yunho sighs.
“The other guys asked us to update them in case anything else happened but they just plan on resting today,” San adds.
“We probably won't get anything out of her today anyway,”
Yunho's proven correct when she silently eats breakfast and then leaves saying she'll talk when she's ready.
That's not until a few weeks later and they're gathered at Layla's.
They all nervously sit on the huge sectional she got recently and wait.
Instead of joining them Layla kneels on the floor in a deep, apologetic bow.
“La! What are you doing!?” Wooyoung immediately protests, moving to raise her off the floor.
“No, I wanted to show how sincerely apologetic I am. I'm sorry for worrying everyone and I think I'm ready to talk now,”
“So what's going on, angel? How did this start? Did we do something wrong?” Seonghwa asks worriedly.
Layla lifts her head and immediately shakes it in disagreement.
“No! It's on me! Well I guess not totally but it's not you guys’ fault,”
Then she further explains how she was raised and how much manliness was emphasized once her mother passed away. How this started to make her see femininity as something to be ashamed of and how her already bad body image didn't help. After getting her diagnosis she really thought there was no point in even living because she'd probably never be skinny enough to be pretty and she couldn't be a mom even though she so desperately wanted to. She thought she'd escape that when she got to Korea but she didn't get as skinny as she thought she would. It was hard not to compare herself to her coworkers and even Iseul.
“I couldn't think about my gender at all because besides doing well in school I thought I was just a waste of space. Seulie only even brought me here because she was worried about what would happen if she didn't. I- I'm n-not someone-” Layla adds stopping when she gets choked up.
Misty seems to sense her mom's emotional distress and crawls into her lap. This seems to calm Layla some but she's still crying.
San is the first to move sitting beside her and putting an arm around her shoulders comfortingly.
“It's okay, La. You can take your time,” Yeosang assures her gently.
It takes some time for her breathing to steady.
“I don't think I would actually want to be a boy. Just in the position I was in I would've been treated better. And of course societally it probably would've been better too. But I think my dad's voice just got in my head and convinced me that since I was a woman I was worthless and unlovable and it stuck with me. I know you guys love me but a part of me can't believe I deserve it,”
“We should kill your dad. How could he do that to you?” Wooyoung exclaims angrily.
“Wooyoung!” Hongjoong scolds.
“It's okay. I don't particularly like him either. Seulie and her parents hate his guts. If it wasn't for them I'd definitely be dead,”
“Layla we're so sorry,” Seonghwa says, guilty about prying.
“No it's okay. You deserve to know. So then I was considering a breast reduction or top surgery but it wasn't for me. There were times I thought it'd be cool to be flatter but it wasn't an everyday thing. I like having boobs and being able to play with them for the most part,”
“Yeah that's fucked up. If you were considering something like that you should've been the only person in mind,” Mingi scoffs.
“You guys are so sweet. Thanks for letting me be in your life,” Layla sniffles.
“You say that like we're letting you go anywhere,” Yunho argues.
This finally gets Layla to laugh a little and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
“On the other hand though I feel a connection to women and femininity but I think there's more than that. It took me a long time to figure it out but I think I'm just a nonbinary woman and that's why I'm the most bisexual person in the world,” Layla concludes snuggling into San.
This earns another laugh.
“So do you feel better now?” Jongho asks.
Layla nods with a smile.
“Sorry for worrying everyone,”
“Can we hug you now?” Wooyoung asks.
Layla laughs but nods happily. Misty scurries away as they all rush to cuddle their girlfriend.