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Latara is very sure of herself. She’s the prettiest ewok in the village. Probably the whole forest moon! Sometimes she wonders why it's called a forest moon because there are multiple diverse biomes just a hop skip and a jump away from the village. But that doesn't really matter. What matters is that her last relationship ended badly after her beau was turned into a rock by one of the multiple evil sorcerers in the vicinity and Logray won’t turn him back because “That boy can stay a rock for all I care. He acts like a piece of bordok shit”. Then after that she tried going after a cute warrior named Bozo but he hasn't noticed her so far. One thing about Bozo is that he has a weird hatred for any warrior younger than him, especially Wicket. So clearly the best option is to date Wicket.
“Kvark no!” Wicket exclaims when Latara asks.
“Why not? I'm the most eligible girl in the village!”
“Im not interested. If you rub two thoughts together maybe you’ll figure out why.” With that, he leaves, muttering under his breath.
“Hmph.” Thinks Latara. Why isn't he interested? Any boy would be interested in a girl like her. But then she gets an idea, maybe Wicket isn't interested in girls at all.
“Kneesa! Kneesa!” Latara runs to her friend's hut, excited to share the news.
“What is it Latara? You know I don't like when you barge in like this.”
“I have important news. Wicket is gay!”
Kneesa makes a face. “Did he tell you that?”
“Not in so many words. But I put two and two together.”
“What evidence is there? Wicket clearly has a crush on me.”
“No way. He just wishes he could be fancy and fabulous like you.”
“You think I’m fabulous?” Kneesa smirks.
“No. But Wicket probably does. And do you hear how high his voice is?”
“Latara, we’re ewoks. We have high voices.”
“Not all of us. And I bet it explains why he loves being a warrior, he gets to hang out with buff male Ewoks all day.”
Kneesa stands, shaking her head. “Latara, I don't think you’re feeling all that well. Maybe you should go see Logray.”
“Fine. I bet he’ll believe me.”
“Sure.”
Latara knocks first before entering Logray’s hut. She doesn't want to walk in on him shaving his butt again.
“Enter.” calls Logray, and Latara does so. “What brings you to my hut, child?” He asks.
“I think Wicket is gay and Kneesa thinks I’m crazy.”
“Hm. I would think Teebo would be the gay one. But I suppose there's plenty of room for a few more gay Ewoks in the village.”
“There's more?”
“Oh yes. I’m surprised you haven't noticed. Why even Chief Chirpa and I had a thing back in the day.”
“You and the chief were a thing?”
“Oh I had a thing with everyone. Not just in the village. It's why basically everyone on this moon hates us. I screwed their moms, dads, husbands, wives. You name it. They’re all jealous of my rizz.” Logray makes a Chad face, causing Latara to grimace.
“So I wouldn't be surprised if Wicket is gay. But tell me why you think so.”
Latara shuffles slightly. “It's kinda silly. I think I was kinda making myself believe it cus he wouldn't go on a date with me.”
“That's brave of you to admit Latara. But please remember it's not wise nor kind to spread rumors. How about we go see Wicket and you can apologize to him?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Let me see where he is first.” Logray takes out his spinning top of scrying (Or whatever it was) and spins it around until it glows. Suddenly it shows an image. Latara leans over to see a view of some bushes close to the village. There was Wicket, but he was with someone else. Teebo was there too.
“Thanks for meeting me here Teebo.” Wicket was saying.
“Of course, what did you want to tell me?”
“Happy one month anniversary babe.”
Latara and Logray’s jaws drop as Wicket grabbed Teebo by the hood and smooched him hard.
“Ee-Chee-Wa-Wa!” They both exclaim.
Logray stops the top, making the image disappear, and puts the device away.
“How about we pretend we didn't see that. We’ll let him come out in his own time.”
“Yeah.” Says Latara. But she knows she’ll use this for blackmail in a heartbeat.