Chapter Text
July 4, 1985
There was a stitch coming loose in the hem of Steve’s blue sailor shorts. He normally wouldn’t have noticed, but there was nothing else to do but stare at his legs while he waited. He didn’t know what exactly he was waiting for. His arms ached from the bruising grip of the Russian soldiers dragging him in a different direction from Robin. Steve wanted so badly to mess with the stray thread, anything to not think about what they could be doing to Robin, or what they were going to do to him.
Steve’s attention was drawn towards the metal door by the sounds of harsh russian and heavy boots stomping closer. The squeal of the door hinges echoed throughout the room and bounced around his head. It was a sharp noise, and he would’ve looked up if he were a braver man.
“Did you fall asleep there?” A man spoke with a heavy Russian accent. The soldier gripped Steve by his hair, forcing them to meet eyes, “You caused quite a disturbance, sailor. I am impressed.”
Steve didn’t respond, what could he say? He just glared at the bulky man. He felt stupid, arms tied behind his back and dressed in the stupid Scoops Ahoy outfit. If it were any other situation, Steve could have made so many kinds of jokes.
“Nothing to say? You break in, hurt my men, and sound off all of the alarms. Now I am only going to ask you this one time, who do you work for?”
The soldier’s grip on Steve’s hair tightened, “Scoops Ahoy, the ice cream place. That’s where I work.”
A slap forced Steve’s head to the side, “I am not a fool, tell me why you are here.”
“M-my friend and I were waiting for a delivery, and it never showed up. So, we went looking for it, and that’s when we found your elevator to here. Please you have to believe me.”
The man tutted mockingly, “Wrong.” He spoke Russian into the walkie clipped to his shoulder. Another Russian stepped into the room, this one was bigger than the one in front of Steve. “Now, try again. Who do you work for?”
“I told you man, Scoops Ahoy.” Steve’s voice cracked as he pleaded with the soldier.
Steve’s hair was let go of, his chin dropping to his chest. He only looked up for a second before a large fist slammed into his nose. There was a concerning crunch and blood started to pour from his face. He couldn’t even cry out in pain as his hair was grabbed again.
“Who do you work for?”
“Scoops Ahoy, come on why do you think I’m wearing this outfit? You think I just wear this, man?”
Another punch caused his lip to be caught by his teeth. He could feel some of the inside of his mouth get stuck between his two front teeth. Steve lost count of all the punches and kicks he took. He was pretty sure at least one rib was cracked. His whole body felt like it was throbbing. Steve’s eyes couldn’t focus, everything was blurry. It definitely didn’t help that he couldn’t see out of his left eye. One last kick to his face left him unconscious. Steve could only slightly feel being picked up and dragged into a different room.
“Help! Someone help! Please!” Each word Robin yelled as Steve woke up stabbed into his brain. His hands were tied to his thighs and two more straps wrapped around his chest, connecting hom to Robin.
“Shht ‘p… shut.. Would you stop yelling.”
“Steve!” Oh my god! Steve.. Are- are you okay?”
Steve felt Robin tilt her head closer to him, “My ears are ringing, and I can't really breathe, my eye feels like it’s about to pop out of my skull, but, you know, apart from that, I’m doing pretty good.”
“Well, good news is, they’re calling you a doctor.” Steve grimaced as his ribs were jostled by Robin’s weak laughter.
“Is this his place of work? I love the vibe.. Charming.”
Robin chuckled, “Yeah, tell me about it. So okay, do you see that table over there to your right?” Steve swung his head to look over, “No, your other right.”
“Oh.” All this turning was making his head hurt even more.
“Yeah. And do you see those scissors?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yeah, well, I think that if we move at the same time, we could get over there, and then maybe I could kick the table and knock them into your lap.”
Thank god one of them could think of a plan, “And I could cut the binds.”
“Yeah,” Robin nodded slightly, “and we could get out of here.”
“Gotcha. Okay, yeah, we can do that.”
Robin’s voice pitched up slightly in hope, “Yeah.”
“Those morons. They left scissors in here?”
“Yeah, morons.” Robin laughed.
“Total morons.”
Robin refocused, “Okay, so, on the count of three, we’re gonna hop.”
“Okay, good, hop on three. I gotcha.”
“All right. One. Two. Three.” They both hopped towards the right, “Okay, that worked.”
“Okay.” Holy shit, it was working.
“Alright. Let’s try again.” They counted to three at the same time and made another successful move to the right. “Holy shit, this is gonna work!”
The excitement in Robin’s voice made him feel better, “We’re close. Ready?”
They counted together again, shuffling more to the right. This time, though, they flopped to the ground. Steve felt white hot pain shoot through his body along with Robin quivering against him.
He tried his best to comfort her, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry. Robin.” Her heavy breathing turned into squeaks of laughter. “Are you laughing?”
She laughed harder, “Yeah.”
“Jesus.”
“I’m sorry-” She was cut off by more laughing, “I’m so sorry. It’s just… I can’t believe… I’m gonna die in a secret Russian base with Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. It’s just too trippy, man.”
Steve cringed slightly at the nickname, “We’re not gonna die. We’re gonna get out of here, okay? Just- You gotta let me just think for a second.” He felt like he was going crazy.
“Do you remember, um, Mrs. Click’s sophomore history class?”
Maybe Robin was going crazy too, “What?”
She continued, “Mrs. Clickity-Clackity. That’s what us band dweebs called her. It was first period, Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you were always late. And you always had the same breakfast. Bacon, egg, and cheese on a sesame bagel. I sat behind you, two days a week for a year. Mister Funny. Mister Cool. The King of Hawkins High himself. Do you even remember me from that class?” Steve stayed silent, embarrassed. “Of course you don’t. You were a real asshole, you know that?”
Steve felt sick, “Yeah, I know.”
“But it didn’t even matter. It didn’t matter that you were an ass. I was still… obsessed with you. Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just want to be popular… accepted, normal.”
“If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great. Seriously. It just baffles me… Everything that people tell you is important, everything people say you should care about it’ all just…” Steve let out a bitter chuckle, “bullshit.” Just like he was. “But I guess you gotta mess up to figure things out, right? “
“I hope so. I feel like my life has been like… one big error.” Steve laughed and agreed, he felt the same way. “At least it can’t get any more messed up than this.”
Robin was right, she usually was. “You know, I wish I’d known you in Click’s class.”
“Yeah?”
“Really, I do. Maybe you could’ve helped me pass the class. Maybe instead of being here, I’d be on my way to college right now.”
“And I would have no idea that there were evil Russians beneath our feet, and I would be happily slinging ice cream with some other schmuck.”
He felt something strange in the back of his throat at that thought, “Gotta say, though, I liked being your schmuck. It was fun while it lasted.”
“It was.” They were probably going to die.
There was a buzzing sound, and then the door opened. The Russian soldier that interrogated Steve walked in, followed by another Russian in a lab coat and black rubber gloves.
The soldier laughed at the two of them on the ground, “Where were you two going?” They were unceremoniously forced back upright and the soldier got right into Steve’s face, “Try tell the truth this time, yes? To make your visit with Dr. Zharkov less painful.”He gently brushed Steve’s hair off of his neck, it made Steve feel gross, the soldier traveling the hand to press his thumb into a bruise on Steve’s chin.
The soldier nodded towards the doctor. He walked into Steve’s view, holding a syringe filled with a blue fluid so bright, it was practically fluorescent.
“Wait a second. Wait. Hold on.” Steve’s voice got more frantic as the doctor stepped closer. “Okay! Wait, wait, wait! What is that thing?”
“It will help you talk.” That was the most ominous thing the doctor coils have said. “Happy independence day, sailor.”
Oh, oh, it was Steve’s birthday. Happy birthday to him, officially nineteen. The doctor shoved the needle into his neck, and then into Robin’s.
They were left alone again, but everything was slightly slower. Or maybe everything was moving too fast. “Honestly I don’t really feel anything. Do you?”
Robin took a second to respond, “I mean, I… I feel fine. I feel normal.”
“Yeah, I feel- I feel fine. I kinda feel good.” Besides the fact that talking felt off, Steve couldn’t really feel anything.
They both laughed, “You wanna know a secret?”
“What?”
Robin leaned more into Steve’s body, “I like it too!” Neither of them could control their laughter.
“Morons. They messed up the drug.”
“They messed it up!” Robin fell back a bit as Steve bent over in laughter. “Morons. Hey, Morons!”
“Morons!” Steve yelled in agreement. The two of them continued to yell the word over and over again.
Robin was the one to say something else, “Oh no. There’s definitely something wrong with us.”
“Something’s wrong.”
The door buzzed open again, the same soldier and doctor as last time walking in. The doctor was now carrying a black leather back, placing it onto a metal tray, along with a towel.
The soldier stood in front of Steve, glaring menacingly at him. Steve was getting pretty tired of seeing his face. Robin, though, was distracted by the doctor placing an array of metal tools onto the towel, one of them being a bone saw.
“Would now be a good time to tell you that I don’t like doctors?”
The soldier ignored Robin, continuing to focus on Steve, “Let’s try this again, yes?” Steve murmured an agreement. “Who do you work for?”
Steve was getting pretty annoyed of hearing this question so often, “Scoops,” he giggled a little, “Scoops Ahoy.” Robin laughed quietly behind him.
“How did you find us?”
“Totally by accident.”
Steve hesitantly laughed as the soldier said something in Russian
to the doctor. The doctor grabbed a pair of pliers and stepped towards Steve.
“What is that shiny little toy?”
Robin sounded slightly more worried, “Where are you going with that, doc?”
The doctor grabbed Steve' s hand, ignoring both of the teenagers’ complaints and begs. He clamped down onto one of Steve’s fingernails, it hurt, a lot. Steve could only keep on begging.
Thank god for Robin, again. “There was a code! We heard a code!”
The doctor stopped and the soldier walked towards Robin. “Code? What code?”
Robin recited the code, “The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. Blah blah blah. You broadcasted that stupid spy shit all over town, and we picked it up on our Cerebro, and we cracked it in a day. A day! You think you’re so smart, but a couple of kids who scoop ice cream for a living cracked your code in a day and now, people know you’re here.”
The soldier yelled in anger, “Who knows we are here, suka.”
“Uh, well,” Steve chimed in, “Dustin knows.”
“Hey, Steve.”
“Yeah, Dustin Henderson, he knows.”
“Steve!”
“Dustin Henderson,” the soldier stalked back over towards Steve, “It is your small, curly-haired friend?”
Steve smiled, “Oh, curly-haired. Great hair. Small. Kind of like a ‘fro. Yeah.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s long gone, you big asshole.” Steve was getting more confident now. “And he’s probably calling Hopper, and Hopper’s calling the US calvary. They’re gonna come in here, commando-style, guns a-blazin’, and kick your sorry asses back to Russia. You’re gonna be two pieces of toast.”
Steve and Robin started laughing again as the soldier leaned down, closer to Steve. “Is that so?”
“Yeah.” Steve said matter-of-factly as they both started laughing again.
The soldier and doctor started laughing too, which was kind of confusing. But maybe they thought that Steve was funny! Hopefully. Alarms started blaring through the base, distracting the Russians from their captives.
The soldier left, leaving the doctor with Steve and Robin. That was, until, Dustin charged in with a long metal pole, a taser, and knocked the guard down.
Steve had never felt more relieved, “Hey! Henderson! That’s crazy, I was just talking about you.”
What happened next was a blur of running, dizziness, and a movie about… time travel? Steve didn’t know or care, he was just thirsty. So so thirsty.
Steve had rested his entire body weight on the water fountain he was slurping from. “That’s amazing.” He could not get enough of the refreshing, cold water. Okay, it was slightly lukewarm, but he really couldn’t complain.
“So, like, I wasn’t totally focused in there or anything, but…” Robin spoke as Steve kept desperately lapping at the water, “I’m pretty sure… that mom was trying to bang her son.”
Steve looked up from the water, “Wait, wait, the hot chick was Alex P. Keaton’s mom?”
“Yeah I’m pretty sure.”
“But they’re the same age.” Steve continued to drink more.
“No, but he went back in time.
“Then why is it called Back to the Future?”
“He has to go back to the future because he’s in the past. So the future is actually the present, which is his time.”
Steve paused, “Wha… what?”
Robin pushed Steve out of the way, “No, no it’s my turn. You’ve had enough.
Steve stumbled out of the way, Robin moaning at the water behind him. He couldn’t even be remotely turned on by the noises as he stared at the sight above him. The sky… it was so- so pretty. Prettier than Nancy, hell even prettier than his hair. It was like he was in a trance.
“Hey, Robin. You gotta check this out.” Robin rushed to his side. “Check this… this… The ceiling, it’s beautiful.”
“Oh wow.” Robin started spinning slightly. Or maybe he was spinning. Something was spinning and it was not making Steve’s stomach happy.
They both started to gag, charging towards the women’s bathroom. Both of them dropped heavily to their knees, emptying their guts into the toilets in front of them. It was mostly just chunks of popcorn and stomach acid, not a pretty sight.
Steve sat, leaning against the wall. Robin was on her back, legs in the air on the stall. “The ceiling stopped spinning for me. Is it still spinning for you?”
Steve looked up, “Holy shit. No. You think we puked it all up?”
“Maybe. Ask me something.” And then, in a bad Russian accent, “Interrogate me.”
“Okay, Interrogate you, sure. Um… When was the last time you peed your pants?
“Today” It came out slurred.
“What?”
“When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw.”
Steve burst out a laugh, “Oh, my god.”
“It was just a little bit though.” Robin made a pinching motion with her thumb and index finger.
“Yeah, it’s definitely still in our system.”
Robin giggled that squeaky laugh again, “All right, my turn.”
“Okay, Hit me.”
There was a pause, “Have you… ever been in love?”
That was an easy answer, “Yeah. Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year.” Steve imitated a gun shooting his heart.
“Oh my god. She’s such a priss.”
Steve hummed, “Turns out, not really.”
Robin scoffed, “Are you still in love with Nancy?”
“No.” If there was one thing Steve was certain of, it was that he was definitely not in love with Nancy.
“Why not?”
“I think it’s because I found someone who’s a little bit better for me. It’s crazy.”
“What’s crazy?”
“It’s my birthday today, officially nineteen. And I’m actually sort of glad that I could spend it with at least one person I like” Robin was silent, deadly silent. “Did you just OD in there?”
“No. I… am still alive.” Steve slid his way under the stall into the one Robin was in. “The floor’s disgusting.”
“Yeah, well, I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so…”
Robin chuckled, “I think that if you truly knew me, you wouldn’t want to be my friend.”
Steve was quick to disagree, “No, that’s not true. No way is that true.”
“Listen to me, Steve. It’s shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you. But I’m not like your other friends. And I’m not like Nancy Wheeler.”
“Robin, that’s exactly why I like you.”
Robin scoffed, “Do you remember what I said about Mrs. Click’s class? About me being jealous, and, like, obsessed?” Steve nodded. “It isn’t because I had a crush on you. It’s because… she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”
“Mrs. Click?”
“Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me, but… she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn’t understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And- and you didn’t even like her and… I would go home… and just scream into my pillow.”
“But Tammy Thompson’s a girl.”
“Steve.” Robin’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“Yeah?” Robin just gave him a look. “...Oh.”
“Oh.”
“Holy shit.” Now Steve was not confessing his feelings to Robin, but he wasn't going to embarrass her. Make her feel any more vulnerable than she already was.
“Yeah. Holy shit.” They both sat in silence for a little bit. “Steve…? Did you OD over there?”
“No, I just, uh… Just thinking.”
Robin fiddled with her earring nervously, “Okay.”
“I mean, yeah. Tammy Thompson, you know, she’s cute and all, but… I mean, she’s a total dud.”
Robin looked offended, “She is not.”
“Yes, she is. She wants to be, like, a singer. She wants to move to, like, Nashville and shit.”
“She has dreams.”
“She can’t even hold a tune. She’s practically tone-deaf. Have you heard her?” Robin laughed, “All the time,” Steve put on his best Tammy impression, “you see me now tonight, you see me more than ever.”
Robin knocked their knees together, “She does not sound like that.”
“She sounds exactly- that’s a great impersonation of her.”
“She does not. You sound like a muppet.”
Steve shot his arms out dramatically, “She sounds like a muppet! She sounds like a muppet giving birth!”
The two of them both started another rendition of Tammy Thompson singing Total Eclipse of the Heart. That’s how Dustin found them, a pile of limbs and laughter. Steve couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t such a bad birthday after all.