Chapter Text
Alex pushed open the door to The Crashdown in desperate need of coffee. The familiar diner was a welcome sight to his tired eyes.
Last night had been a long one. Although he hadn’t expected to attend an open mic night at a bar, it ended up being an enjoyable evening.
As Alex swaggered over to one of the stools at the diner’s counter, Alex recalled sitting at The Wild Pony’s bar counter last night listening to Forrest Long’s poetry performance. The drinks the two of them shared had made the night worth ditching a friend.
Alex sighed, reflecting that it really hadn’t taken much for him to decline Maria’s invitation. As it was, he had taken the first excuse that had presented itself.
He could tell that Maria had been disappointed. But Alex really hadn’t wanted to drive off to god-knows-where to find a stranger who may or may not have answers about her mother. And when Forrest had been blatantly flirting with him, Alex had been eager.
Oh, he’d been nervous, of course. It wasn’t every day that someone showed interest. But, with Maria’s non-stop obsession with Michael Guerin, Alex had been glad to try to get the man off his mind.
So, Alex had declined Maria’s road trip to the mysterious bootmaker and had opted for a night drinking, chatting and listening to amateur acts on a bar stage.
Given how well Alex got along with Forrest, he had stayed out later than he’d intended.
Finally, Arturo shuffled over to him and took his order with a smile.
Rubbing his forehead, attempting to wake himself up and stave off a hangover headache, Alex glanced around at the bustling tables and hungry customers. He turned to face the entrance just in time to see a familiar face rush through the door.
Perking up, Alex flashed a smile at Liz. His friend was already beaming herself, clearly in a good mood. Catching his eye, Liz rushed over to him and hopped on a stool beside him.
“Hey, Alex!” she exclaimed, tucking hair behind her ears. “You’re here early.”
“Needed some coffee and fuel before I face the day.” Alex shrugged and looked at her curiously. “But it seems I’m not the only one who had a long night last night.”
“Well, you’re right about that,” she sheepishly replied. “It was definitely… eventful.”
“More eventful than the meteor shower?” Alex asked, raising his eyebrows at her.
“Oh, I’ll say,” she chuckled. “Max finally got his memories back.”
“He remembers you?” Alex asked, intrigued. By Liz’s bashful smile, he assumed that they had certainly reconnected last night. “And you made some new memories I presume?”
Liz gave him a playful shove against his shoulder. But she nodded and whispered, “Yeah, don’t tell Papi but we woke up on the roof and weren’t too concerned with the cold.”
Alex huffed. “Good for you.”
When Arturo brought over a hot mug of coffee and placed it in front of Alex, he gave his daughter a look like he wanted her to help out soon as the diner was getting busier.
After Alex thanked Mr. Ortecho and took a generous sip, Liz leveled her gaze at him and asked, “Long night for you too, huh? Maria keep you out searching for her mom?”
“I wasn’t with Maria last night,” he told her, setting his cup down carefully. “I was uh- invited- to open mic night.” Alex felt a flutter in his stomach. It felt good to talk about a night spent with a guy. After all of the drama surrounding Michael, it was a nice change.
“What?” Liz blinked, looking surprised. “I thought she said she was gonna ask you to go with her searching for … someone…”
“Uh, yeah,” Alex gulped. “She wanted to find a bootmaker. One who might’ve sold a pair to her mom.”
“Right, right…” Liz said, shaking her head. “She had asked me to accompany her first, but…I had plans with Max… You really weren’t with her last night?”
“No, I wasn’t,” he assured her. Alex was starting to feel a drip of guilt. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to help Maria. It was just that when he was with her nowadays his stomach always twisted at the reminder that she had gotten with Michael behind his back and still was debating on whether or not to reconnect with him. “Why?”
Brow furrowing, Liz pulled out her phone and quickly explained, “I saw a text from her that said that she hit a dead end with answers about her mom… I assumed that meant the two of you went and didn’t find anything.”
“She might’ve gone, but I didn’t go with her,” Alex said. “But, she really shouldn’t have gone alone.”
“Uh yeah,” Liz agreed enthusiastically, “that’s why I am texting her right now, asking what exactly happened.”
Worry etched at the edge of Alex’s mind. He really hoped he didn't force Maria to travel to the middle of nowhere without backup because he rejected her request to join her.
Once Alex’s food arrived, he tried to distract himself by eating and asking Liz about her and Max. For a while, they chatted amiably, until Liz’s phone buzzed.
“Oh my god!” Liz gasped.
Alex nearly choked on his crash browns. “What?!”
“Maria is with Michael right now!”
For a moment, Alex was confused. “Why is she with Michael so early in the—” Suddenly his eyes widened and he let out a gasp. “No! She spend the night? But… did she—”
Liz answered the question before he asked it. “She said she asked him to accompany her to the bootmaker's place.”
Alex felt his face grow hot. How did this happen?
Clearing his throat, Alex tried to not let his discomfort show so much. “How- how- did he end up on a road trip with her? Yesterday she wasn’t speaking to him.”
“I guess she forgave him when she needed his help,” Liz reported, staring at her phone.
Alex bit his lip. A small part of his heart had hoped that after Maria had heard about his and Michael’s past she would’ve given up on pursuing him. Alex had tried to imply that things between them were still not completely over, that there were things left unfinished. Alex hadn’t expected Maria to forgive him and then spend the night with him so quickly. Perhaps he was a fool to have gotten his hopes up.
Scrunching his fist on the counter, Alex said, “I don't get this. She was pissed at him!”
“Well, she clearly isn’t anymore,” Liz muttered. “I guess she is back with him…or maybe they’re together for the first time because I think she kept things casual on a trial basis before.”
Alex shook his head and spoke around a lump in his throat. “I mean still, you’d think she would— I don't know— talk to me first.”
“Didn’t she talk to you about Michael?” Liz asked curiously.
“Well, sorta,” he admitted. “But it was after she had already been seeing him. She asked if we could be even after the whole alien secret. And we talked about my history with him… I just… didn’t expect her to…”
Leaning forward, Liz lowered her voice and asked cautiously, “Are you not okay with it?”
Alex gulped. Well, that was a loaded question if there ever was one. Of course he wanted his friend to be happy. And he wanted Michael to be happy. But, seeing Michael happy with someone else definitely was not easy. And knowing he had spent another night with Maria, and that they were probably still together right now… Alex didn’t want to picture it. It made his chest hurt.
While Alex tried to explain this to her, it mostly came out as a vague support for both of them and by the look on Liz’s face, she understood that she wasn’t going to get more than that non-answer.
So, Alex finished his breakfast and left The Crashdown, not feeling any better about the situation. Even though Liz was a good friend, he didn’t really feel close enough to her lately to be completely honest. She had had so much going on with Max that she hadn’t really been available and Alex knew that she had also been encouraging Maria toward Michael. Perhaps their chat this morning might’ve shifted her perspective. Alex would have to see how she acted in the future.
Later that day, Alex tried distracting himself by trying to connect with Forrest again. He sent him a message, since they had exchanged numbers at open mic night, and suggested that they hang out again soon. Even though Alex was not experienced at all in flirting or asking out other guys, he thought his message sounded pretty smooth.
When the historian-slash-poet hadn’t responded by the end of the day, Alex started to get anxious. Was there something wrong with him? Was Alex not ready for this casual dating thing? Had Forrest noted his inexperience and nervousness?
By the next day, with still no response, Alex began to feel angry. Forrest might very well have been blowing him off.
Alex had thought he’d wanna connect after he’d come to his show and watched his performance at open mic night. He thought they’d had a good conversation at the bar. So, what was the deal? What kind of a guy made such an effort to flirt and invite him out and then didn’t respond?
Then, he reflected on why he was so eager to hear back from him. Was it really all about Forrest? Or was it more connected to what he’d learned about Michael and Maria? The more he thought about it, the more he recognized that his emotions surrounding Michael Guerin were the ones still in chaos. Moving on was more to do with his disappointment and the sting of betrayal than it was about the cool new guy who loved Buffy and MCR.
The following day, Alex’s mood shifted when he received a response asking to make a formal date. Alex was initially shocked and a little intimidated. He had never been on a real date before— well, in his adult life with a guy. But Alex was determined to push through those nerves. If Michael was dating someone new, then Alex would have to as well.
They ended up making a date soon and Alex suggested paintball, something active that they could do that would generate a lot of conversation but also occupy their time with something fun.
And the date had started off well. Forrest was funny, handsome, cool, and had military experience that Alex could relate to. When Alex had taken a tumble, telling Forrest about his leg hadn’t been as awkward as he’d thought.
But then, Forrest leaned in to kiss him. While it felt good to be wanted like that, the moment had scared Alex witless and he’s pulled away panic- stricken. Even though he kind of wanted to kiss him, something inside him screamed that it would end in disaster. He couldn’t even really explain it. But they had agreed to meet up at The Wild Pony for drinks afterward, so Alex hoped he could find the words at that point.
Later, at The Pony, Alex was able to sort of apologize for the awkward moment and explain himself. Although, he couldn’t really go into detail about why the possibility of someone seeing him with a guy triggered a visceral fear. Those core memories were connected to Michael and were too raw to talk about in a casual setting.
To Alex’s dismay, Forrest wasn’t willing to meet Alex where he was. Although he was sympathetic and seemed to understand, he made it clear that he wasn’t interested in jumping into someone else’s closet.
While Alex was disappointed, he couldn’t begrudge Forrest his stance; he didn’t want to get too involved until Alex could deal with those fears and get rid of that voice in his head.
Of course Alex understood that. Who would want to keep a relationship secret or have to censor yourself in public?
Then, Alex remembered the one person who had agreed to that, albeit probably reluctantly. Michael had allowed their relationship to stay secret the whole summer they’d spent together after high school. He had never pushed Alex to make their connection public. To his knowledge, he hadn’t ever told anyone.
However, Alex had recently seen what that had done to Michael. He had been so hurt at the idea that Alex might’ve been ashamed of him. Of course, that wasn’t true, but Alex had seen the look on his face when he had thought that Alex desperately didn’t want anyone to know about them. Michael had admitted that he’d felt pulled in different directions like Alex had been teasing him or manipulating him. The idea that Alex had inadvertently hurt Michael haunted him. So, Alex did not want to fall into those same patterns now.
As Alex moped around the bar, finishing up his drink, he overheard voices that instantly made his heart sink.
It was unmistakably Michael Guerin. And he seemed to be chatting loudly with his alien siblings, Max and Isobel.
At first, it seemed like Isobel was regailing her brothers with a story about someone she hooked up with and her brothers were either teasing her or encouraging her. Alex figured it was probably a mix of both.
But then, Alex very clearly overheard Michael talking about Maria. His heart knocked in his chest as he registered Michael’s words.
“She is incredible. There are no words. The whole trip was crazy but awesome.”
There was no way Alex could stay any longer. Quickly, he downed the rest of his drink and tried to find a bartender so he could settle his tab.
Trying to avoid Maria, Alex wandered to the other side of the bar. The other bartender came out from behind the counter, so Alex decided to wait.
Not long after, he saw Michael walk his way. Alex tried to avoid eye contact, but Michael steered himself in Alex’s direction.
“Hey, Alex."
Clearing his throat, Alex tried to sound casual, like his cheeks weren’t burning with regret and envy. “Oh, hey, Guerin. Um, I was just leaving.”
“Okay,” he nodded, undeterred, “but— uh, before you go…”
Alex swallowed his discomfort and took the invitation to talk, turning towards the cowboy.
Michael stood before him with a rare serious expression on his face. “Listen, what you said about just being able to work together without all of the baggage... I dunno. I wasn't there. You know, I said I couldn't flip the switch that easily. It was still kinda awkward. I was kinda like - eh, you know?”
If the door opened, a strong fall wind could’ve blown Alex over. He even felt lightheaded. Michael Guerin was seriously talking about their awkward feelings surrounding their relationship in the middle of The Wild Pony.
It was a nice surprise— nice, in the sense that it felt good to have Michael acknowledge the struggles they’ve been having. It was good to know it wasn’t all just in Alex’s head or only one-sided.
Michael continued brightly, “But Maria said that you encouraged her to give me another shot. And even that another guy was into you— so, so now I’m there. And hey, if you’re happy for me then I’m happy for you.”
Damn. How much had Maria told him when they had driven to that bootmaker’s place?
Everything he was saying was positive. And yet Alex felt like his world was crumbling.
Even as his mouth felt dry, he replied, “Oh… good.”
“And thank you for helping with Maria."
Alex couldn’t stop staring at his grateful grin. As glad as he was that he and Michael could be in a good place, a stab of disappointment lingered. This wasn’t how he’d wanted it to play out: with both of them encouraging the other to move on.
“Oh, oh, no problem,” Alex mumbled, trying to force a smile. “Happy for you…”
He turned away quickly, signaling the end of the conversation. Alex tried to wave to the bartender. Now, he really needed to get out of here.
Luckily, Michael took the hint and continued walking down the bar. Alex tried to avert his eyes as to where he was leaning over toward Maria on the other side.
When the other bartender came by to help Alex close out his tab and pay, he was relieved. However, before he could leave, Maria trotted over and leaned toward him.
It was just his luck. The two people he had wanted to avoid had come up to talk to him tonight. Maybe he should’ve taken Forrest’s suggestion to meet at Planet 7.
“Hey, you leaving?” she asked, noticing the transation.
“Yup. Sorry, uh, gotta call it a night,” Alex said, making up an excuse so she wouldn’t prolong a conversation, “early day tomorrow.”
“Oh okay,” she said, her smile faltering. “But, hey. We really haven't had a chance to talk since me and Michael decided to really date officially.”
Alex blinked at her. “Oh, yeah…” What did she expect him to say to that?
“I mean if the roles were reversed I’d kinda feel a little - you know…”
He did know. But he didn’t wanna get into it right now, so he put on his best casual expression and said, “Definitely took me by surprise but um, I’m okay.”
“Okay. Good. And don't worry this will happen for you too, hang in there.”
What the hell was that supposed to mean? Alex scoffed, “Oh okay. Well, maybe you haven't heard about what's going on with me and Forrest.”
“Oh, sorry. I thought you had just been on one date.” Her smile was sweet but her tone was just condescending enough to prick at Alex’s insides.
“But it was a really good date. Plus we also had a great time at open mic night.”
Looking intrigued, Maria’s eyes sparkled. “Really?”
“Yeah, oh yeah.” Alex pushed out his chest and felt the pressure to really bolster his words with a confidence he didn’t know he had. “There’s a connection. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. You know. It’s like you’re right there with Michael and I'm right there with Forrest and it’s like… even, I guess.”
Alex knew he was rambling and definitely exaggerating things, but somehow he couldn’t help it.
Maria seemed to believe it though. “Hey, that’s great. You know, it would be great if we could all get together and maybe hang out.”
After what Forrest had said before he left, Alex seriously doubted that. But, he tried to cover his shocked face and replied, “That would be great.”
With the little white lies still on his tongue, Alex hurried a goodbye and finally departed The Wild Pony. Yes, Alex thought, he definitely should’ve taken Forrest’s suggestion to get drinks at Planet 7