Chapter Text
The moon Zanbar quietly came closer as you undocked the hyperspace ring from your Jedi Starfighter and entered its atmosphere. It was a small moon, yet it sustained life. Drifting over the surface you observed swamps, marshes and dry areas of rocky plateaus. The force guided you to an appropriate landing spot.
You were in the outer rim, not far from Mandalore. Even though you were only a Padawan, the council had sent you here alone. You should have been a Jedi Knight by now, but you hadn’t successfully completed the trials. It didn’t feel appropriate for a Padawan to be on a solo mission this far out, but you were no ordinary Padawan.
It wasn't for a lack of conviction, immaturity or struggles with the force that you were stuck with the title of a student. You excelled at those things. But in your time as a Padawan you had changed masters four times, only one of them had died during the war, the other ones had passed you on because they failed at what everyone had previously failed: Teaching you how to properly wield a lightsaber. Deflecting blasters or cutting down droids worked well enough but trying to fight against more capable enemies while only relying on a saber was an impossible task for you. Against other Jedi, you could never hold your ground. It was only when you tapped into the force that you stood a fighting chance.
It baffled the order that a Jedi so untalented in swordsmanship could wield the force with such grace and confidence. Meditation was natural to you and you fought well, simply through manipulation of the force. Predicting your opponents’ moves two steps ahead, you dodged with agility and athleticism that surprised everyone who had seen you mishandle a lightsaber. Mind tricks kept you out of fights in the field and by shoving and pulling your enemies, you often avoided igniting your saber at all. If it hadn't been for your mastery of the force, the council might have kicked you out of the order by now. Or demoted you to library duties.
You landed on a plateau in an area of the moon that was currently in a phase of twilight. The striated rock on which your Starfighter now stood firmly was beautifully illuminated in an orange light. Looming above the moon in the sky was Mandalore. It looked awfully close and bright, though it was a couple of hours of space travel away. Before climbing out of your ship, you checked the stats of the atmosphere, only to confirm that it was breathable and not hostile to humans.
The council had sent you here to investigate rumors. Activities of the crime syndicates had spiked in the sector and – so you had been told – whoever pulled the strings, might have a base on this moon. You sighed, feeling how unbalanced the force felt to you at the moment. Something wasn’t right here.
Yoda's words echoed in your mind, "An enemy, you might find on Zanbar. If so, do not engage. Unprepared you might be, for such a fight."
Then why send you in the first place?
Ki-Adi-Mundi had sensed your skepticism immediately and had explained that no other member of the order was available that fit the skill set of stealthy investigation better than you. What you heard was that this problem was light years away from a battle front and you’d not need to fight. When you asked why crimes in that area, almost exclusively surrounded by neutral planets, were of any concern to the Republic at this state during war, you received an unsatisfying answer that it might become a potential threat in the future.
To you, this seemed like a pointless job. A job that a group of clones could have done just as well. On your flight here you were convinced that this was the council’s way of keeping you busy and mildly occupied in a useful fashion, without risking resources for further training you or being a liability at the battlefield.
However, you changed your mind as you walked along a rocky path that led from the plateau that you had used as landing platform to a valley. The council might or might not have expected it, but you felt a dark presence nearby. It was likely that this was indeed the person who is responsible for the increase in criminal activities.
You walked through a small valley with cliffs on both sides. The light didn’t reach that far down but only colored the tops of the plateaus. It was the force that told you to go that way. The air on this planet, or at least this area, was dry and cool. This made it even more unsettling when a cold shiver ran down your spine as if a breeze had blown on the sweat that clung to your body. But there was neither a breeze, nor had you been sweating. Something in the force deeply unsettled you. The feeling made your stomach turn and your hands clammy. You wiped them on your pants.
For a long time now, you had suspected that you were more sensitive to the force than most Jedi. The force surrounded you, penetrated every living being and made it buzz with energy. It was something that you felt, consciously, most of the time. The Jedi taught as much about the dark side of the force as they had to in order to shy every young learner away from ever embracing it. Though you had no definite proof, you believed that sometimes you could feel the dark side of the force, without reaching out to it. You felt it on Coruscant, in the Jedi-temple and the Senate. You often felt it on missions, cloaking people with ill-intention or hate. But it was always just that: a low throb, a headache, a bad feeling. Now, it was more. It was stronger. It was all consuming.
You looked up to the stone ledge a few feet above you before the figure appeared on it. It was only a shadow, but you recognized the horns...saw the lightsaber dangling from the hip and knew who it was before he spoke a word.
"You are not the Jedi I had hoped for," it was a voice best described as calm rage and malice.
You are not the enemy I had hoped for, you thought.
Did the council know? Did they even have a hint of a clue that Darth Maul could be behind this? Was there a chance that they sent you here, knowing that the Sith Lord will kill you? How could you get out of this without a fight?
Desperately, you tried to process the gravity of the situation, but Maul interrupted your thoughts, “But your slaughter will stand as a warning to anyone who dares interfere in my plans.”
In the blink of an eye, the shadow had ignited his saber and hurled off the ledge towards you. You managed to ignite your saber in the last second, blocking the hit that was going straight for your head. The power of Maul's attack made you stumble, and you had to dodge his blade, as you weren't strong enough to hold your saber up to parry for much longer.
The monster immediately struck again, you barely got your saber in position to block and had to dodge the next hit by jumping out of the way. This short display of swordsmanship had been enough to make your opponent chuckle.
"They sent you?!" he laughed and your stomach turned again.
This time, you felt how he would attack before he had started to move. Yet, when he swung his lightsaber, your hands wouldn't move fast enough to parry. You dodged again, only for the Sith to hit your saber hard enough to knock it out of your hand.
"What are you? A Jedi?!"
A force push catapulted you into a wall of rocks. The impact squeezed the air out of your lungs. Falling to the ground but landing sloppily on your feet, you wheezed, "You're Darth Maul."
"So you know me,” the creature stalked around you like a beast watching his prey bleed out, "And this is what the mighty Jedi send?" His eyes landed on your Padawan's braid. "A Padawan. Pathetic."
Gathering your guts, you managed to look at the Sith. He was lankier than you had expected, clad in a dark, layered robe that revealed something of his red, tattooed, chest. Maul was trying to read your intentions; searching for the trap, wondering why someone who couldn't even wield a saber dared to stand up to him.
You had desperately needed this moment of calm, reaching out to the force, letting it rush through your body and connect you to the environment and your opponent. More than anything, you were afraid. Afraid to die. Afraid that all your life had amounted to nothing. That you'd be slaughtered by this beast. Knowing that no Jedi, not even your Master, will come to look for you. Fear makes you alert; it makes you strong.
"Alright...," you took a deep breath and reached out for your saber which flew back into your hand, "Enough with the compliments."
"You're a waste of my time. You're lucky I'll end this quickly," he mocked without a hint of sarcasm.
You saw his leap towards you before he started to move. Maul spun the blade masterfully as if to remind you of your own incompetence. You hadn’t ignited your saber yet to attempt to block his blow. But you didn’t have to. Maul took a big swing, aiming to decapitate you, when the blade stopped a couple inches shy of your neck. The hum and crackling of the red blade were loud in your ears, the heat almost unbearable. You stared at your opponent who was confused. With an angry and frustrated cry, Maul swung for your other side, only to find the same resistance. Immediately exploiting his moment of frustration and confusion, you pushed him back with a force you hadn't expected of yourself.
"Interesting,” he mumbled.
You almost saw a hint of a crooked smile on Maul before he attacked again. As force of habit, you ignited your saber again, though you barely used it. You dodged all of Maul's hits. When you couldn't keep up with his speed, your saber helped to avoid contact with his blade. You kept yourself alive by using the force, using it as you had never before in any battle. You deviated the course of his swings, which ended up often missing you completely. You shoved and pushed at every opportunity. Maul's feet slipped, he was pushed back a few feet and then you pulled on his lightsaber hilt to unbalance him. It must have looked like a sloppy fight. Thanks to your manipulations of the force, Maul's movements were choppy and unclean. Your constant dodging and fighting style looked anything but professional. But it kept you alive.
The longer you fight an opponent, the better you get at reading their movements. After being in this weird dance of pushing, pulling and dodging for what felt like an eternity, you had his style figured out. You could anticipate his next moves better and sometimes even managed to sneak in an offensive attack.
You thought you had created another opening, as Maul was nearly down on one knee from a particularly cheeky push to one of his legs, when you realized, mid-swing, that you had miscalculated.
"ENOUGH!"
The force pulled you off the ground and you felt something close on your windpipe. You dropped your saber, only concerned with trying to get out of this grip. Your vision went blurry by tears and lack of oxygen. It was particularly frustrating that you didn’t know what to do to get out of the choke.
"Yes...struggle,” the Sith seemed to relish in your desperate fight for life.
His voice was clearly audible, but you couldn’t tell any longer from which direction it came. He was everywhere and nowhere. You pressed your eyes shut.
"An unworthy Jedi. How insolent to think you have any chance against me. You're nobody!"
You were afraid of dying. Afraid of those words being proven true. Anger bubbled inside of you. It felt like frustratingly releasing the last of your air from your lung before drowning. Then, something shifted in the force. A rock whizzed towards Maul. He was so surprised when it hit him in the head that his grip on you loosened. Enough oxygen rushed to your brain to get you in control of your body and mind again. In a split second, you had landed on your feet and now reached out through the force. You picked Maul up as if it was nothing.
Then you started to crush. It came so naturally.
"You don't know anything about me!" you yelled, barely recognizing the anger in your voice.
But it did give you strength, did let you hold this monster in the air.
"I know that you aren't a Jedi any longer", he laughed.
It was a struggling and choking laugh, but it was a laugh, nonetheless.
The words crept into your mind, made you aware of your actions and immediately your hold on Maul faltered. Even if Maul had attacked, you would not have defended yourself. But the Sith stood still, eying you curiously as you processed what you had just done. You looked at your hands as if they had been solely responsible for the enormous strength you had just found.
"Your fear gives you strength," Maul started pacing in front of you, "You've felt it."
No. You breathed steadily and tried to calm your racing heart. That is against everything the Jedi had taught you. This wasn't right. You had done something which you shouldn’t have. You had held it back for years. But now it had slipped to the surface. Why hadn’t you been in better control of your emotions? The realization that you had failed something that should have been so simple to obey weighted heavily on you. Suddenly, your body felt exhausted and you wanted to lie down – crawl into a hole and forget all about it.
"I see,” Maul’s words interrupted your train of thoughts. You were still in a fight. He continued, “You were sent here because you are expendable."
Your head shot up and you locked eyes with the monster. He looked quite amused at this reaction.
"A Jedi who can't wield a lightsaber. During war!", Maul spread his arms as if you stood on a battlefield. The nearest front was light years away. This little, desolate moon barely nurtured any lifeforms.
"I have my strengths," you replied in a meek, unsure voice.
"You do. But you could never show them. Your Jedi friends would have been afraid if they knew what power you are capable of. And because they don't know, they cast you aside."
Instinctively, your saber flew back into your hand. You'd rather resume the battle than have a Sith tell you that you had just deviated from the path that you'd been groomed your entire life to follow.
"Yes," the words rolled off the Maul's tongue, "Show me your anger! Or die."
You threw your lightsaber. Something that you hadn't done often, but as soon as the blade was out of your hands, it became comparatively easy to guide through the force. Maul deflected it. You jumped high, picked it off the air and came hurling down on Maul. You engaged in combat. It irritated you that he had switched up his technique. He lured you in close, only to become passive and let you attack. Usually, you preferred being the defensive one. But suddenly, having an opportunity to let out your frustrations was something you could appreciate. Your hits were stronger than usual, fueled with the energy of the force and, admittedly, something of that anger you had just tasted. Maul did barely seem to mind. He absorbed your hits and gave them back double the strength, forcing you to dodge, jump and wind out of the way.
"You're a good fighter!", Maul yelled, excitedly blocking your hit and pushing you back. While still being pushed away, you pulled Maul towards you, catching him off guard and almost managing to pierce him, if he hadn't hit your blade out of the way. There was no way of predicting Maul’s twirl in the air, ignoring his lightsaber that was close enough to decapitate you, and instead kicked you in the side. His amputated metal shin met your ribs. You collapsed to the side and slid over the gravelly ground.
"The Jedi are unworthy of you. I can show you the potential that resides in your mind and body," Maul calmly explained while you lay on the ground underneath him, gripping your side and gasping for air.
The physical toll of the fight was catching up with you. You had had a long journey here and had just wanted to stake out the area. Sleep and a meal had already been overdue. Fighting a Sith had not been on your agenda for today. Losing, even less.
Maul backed off a little to give you some space. He holstered his saber and calmly challenged you, “Stand up and keep fighting.”
You wheezed at the demand. Breathing was hard. Blood started to quill through the cuts that your hands had received from sliding over the ground. Your body felt like it was on fire. The grip on your aching side tightened, afraid that if you let go your body would crumble like a vase. That’s how you felt: like a vase with a hairline crack. One more gust and you would shatter, never to be repaired, never able to assemble the broken pieces to something that felt whole.
“I can’t,” you gasped, admitting defeat.
“Stand up and fight!”
Instantly, you crawled for your lightsaber which lay just out of reach in the dirt and stood up. Your thumb grazed the ignition button and you hesitated. You hadn’t wanted to stand up. Maul had commanded you.
The Sith’s gaze was on you as he commanded again: “Fight me!”
The force was tugging on you, echoes of his command vibrating through your mind. Your body twitched as you resisted the instinct to follow the command. It was difficult to resist at first, but as soon as you relaxed and concentrated on the force, you saw this game at what it truly was. His last try to gain dominance over you.
Maul slowly walked towards you, taunting, “Come on...” It was also a demand, but it had lost its effect on you. In training, you had always called them Jedi mind tricks. But that’s not what they were, really. It was a manipulation of the mind, a jumbling of intentions and suppression of will. Maul approached you until he stood just out of reach. He hadn’t noticed. Hadn’t noticed that you had made him walk closer. He is so fixed on coercing you into a fight, his mind was open for your suggestion. You wondered if you could dare even more.
Kneel.
Maul got down on one knee. The crunch of his metallic knee on the stone was the sweetest sound you had ever heard. You had never felt so powerful. It only took a moment though, for Maul to realize what had happened. His features grew dark and with a flick of his wrist, you crashed onto your knees in front of him. He hadn’t commanded you – he had pulled you into the ground with the force and you yelped in pain. You leaned forward, supporting your tired body by gripping the ground in front of you. The dirt in front of you was grey and nondescript. A few drops of blood from your hands had mixed with the soil and you eyed them intensely, to afraid to look up. Because he was right there. If you hadn’t known that he was an arm’s reach away, you would have still felt the intense energy pulse from him. The hate. The darkness. And something that you couldn’t quite place. Something that intrigued you and pulled you in.
“Join me,” Maul offered, “I can give you a purpose. I can show you your true strengths.” He was still on one knee. Why didn’t he get up?
“I’ll teach you ways of the force that the Jedi won’t even speak about. Nobody will ever look down on you again. You will not be expendable, but much stronger than you ever thought capable.”
He was speaking the truth, you knew he was. You tried to weigh your options: agree, deny and be slaughtered, run away...? Where to? You’re no longer welcome in the Jedi’s temple.
“You’ve come here for a reason.”
His voice was so close. He was so close, hovering just over you. You closed your eyes, listening.
The force had guided you here. Yoda’s words echoed in your mind: "An enemy, you might find on Zanbar. If so, do not engage. Unprepared you might be, for such a fight." Yoda had been right, as he always was. You should not have engaged, because you were unprepared to withstand the temptation of the offer. However, this monster in front of you was not enemy. Not any longer.
“Fine,” you finally said, still staring at the ground.
Maul grinned, unbeknownst to you. This was more than he had hoped for! A new apprentice, and such a strong one. It was exciting to mold new followers. How far could he bend you? To which depths would you be willing to go? There was no way of knowing, but killing you felt like a waste of potential. At the very least, you’d make his remaining stay on Zanbar more interesting, even if he had to kill you afterwards, if you didn’t prove worthy.
“Then stand up, my new apprentice. Stand up and nobody will dare to look down on you again,” Maul declared.
This time, he didn’t demand you to stand up. You had to force yourself up from the ground with knees buckling and body shaking. Your body protested against the movement and the strain on your muscles. Unsteadily, you managed to stand. You finally made eye contact with the Zabrak in front of you. His bloodshot eyes glowed yellow. Had you agreed to this if you hadn’t been so exhausted and afraid to die? Probably. But you would not have looked as pathetic as you did now: Shivering, bloodied and strained.
It dawned on you why Maul hadn’t stood up before. You were standing in front of him, looking down on the man you’d call your Master from now on...and he was kneeling in front of you. Kneeling, because you had been strong enough to make him. You had made the right choice by joining him.
When Maul saw that his gesture had the desired effect, he slowly stood up.
“Come, my new apprentice,” the two of you walked along the valley.
The remaining light had faded from the sky. Somewhere behind the little moon you walked on, the sun illuminated a huge planet. The light reflected back to Zanbar, making the night anything but dark. This big planet was Mandalore, and though it looked just a stone’s throw away, reaching it would take many hours. Maul tracked up the cliff that had engulfed you for the entire fight. You fell back slightly, exhausted and in pain but trying to keep up nonetheless. As you reached the top, you saw a freighter of average size. It looked like it had been parked here for a while and was no longer airworthy.
“This is our base. Rest your body.”
You walked up the cargo loading ramp. Filth was your first impression. Dust and rocks had collected on the floor of the ship, Maul’s footprints were distinctly visible in the dirt. They most often lead to a crew area – a small table with a circular bench around it – and a kitchen block with what looked like a huge freezer crate. Next to the cockpit was a closed door that led, you assumed, to Maul’s quarters, since a footpath also led there. The ship stank like rotting meat. You looked towards another closed door at the end of the freighter and approached it. It was an unoccupied crew cabin. You looked behind you for your Master’s approval, but he hadn’t entered the ship yet, so you trusted your gut and entered the small space.
There was a small window that let enough light in for you to find the light switch. The room was big enough to swing a lightsaber in, but only barely. The sleeping nook was equipped with a thin blanket and a square pillow. Both of them looked old. There was a table and a broken chair. Since the door had been sealed, not a lot of dust had settled in your room, but the air was stuffy and unpleasant. You left the door open, even if it meant letting that rotten stink in.
You crawled into the nook and fell into a meditative state. You were tired but told yourself that some meditation would be good. It had always helped you to meditate after a heavy fight or training session. Breathing slowly and concentrating on the limbs of your body that hurt had always somehow improved the pain. So, you did just that. Intentionally and carefully taking inventory of each body part, each cut and bruise that bothered you. Knowing well, that you should have patched them up immediately, but you were too fatigued.
Maul’s metallic steps echoed through the freighter. The noises passed through your consciousness; you were focused on your body. Despite your best efforts to continue your meditation as long as possible, you fell asleep.
Light shining through your window woke you up. You blinked, disoriented. Before you even realized where you were, the force unsettled you. It was so unbalanced, so dark and cold. A shiver ran down your spine and you forced your body awake to better react to the danger.
A static mumble of voices that had been there as you woke suddenly stopped and you heard a darker voice answer: “Send someone to pick us up in six rotations. I shall need time to assess what they are capable of.” Again, more static mumbling.
“The army better be ready and briefed when I return”, the organic voice replied.
This time, the static was clearer, louder as you had gathered your senses. It answered, “Yes, Lord Maul.”
That’s right. For a moment, the realization of what had passed threatened to crush you. You had pledged allegiance to a Sith Lord. To an enemy of the Jedi. How could you have been so stupid? Why? Because there was no place for you in the Jedi order. And Maul was no longer a threat to you. He could have killed you while you were sleeping. You don’t remember ever having fallen in such a deep slumber. Normally, the force held you in a state of awareness, even asleep. Considering that someone so versed in the dark side was just nearby. But the severity of your decision, gravity of your injuries and accumulation of exhaustion must have weighed heavily on you. You had passed out completely last night. You stood up, weary of your weak knees but found them strong enough.
Quickly, you disrobed to inspect your side where Maul’s kicked had nearly knocked you out. A huge, angry bruise bloomed over your rips. You carefully touched it, finding it not unusually uncomfortable compared to other bruises you have had. You pressed harder, trying to find out if you had broken rips, but found your assessment inconclusive. Movement of your torso felt fine, and you could stretch your arms vigorously without finding your injury more upsetting than a regular bruise. A relieved sigh slipped out of your mouth. This was close to a miracle. Other cuts that you had received from sliding across the ground or being tossed around weren’t as bad or insulting as you remembered them. You should clean them, yes, but none of them were deep or looked serious. You fixed your clothes and walked out of your cabin, now driven by the urge to satisfy your thirst and hunger.
As soon as you stepped out of your quarters, you found your new Master’s gaze on you. You nodded reverently, a mix of greeting and bow, which you found appropriate. Maul watched as you walked to the kitchen block. It was dirty with dried blood and fur. Hesitating, your hand hovered over the freezer for a moment. Then, opening the lid, you had to hold back a gag as the smell and sight of a mangled animal corpse assaulted you.
“Stars,” you hissed, letting the lid fall shut and burying your nose in the crook of your elbow to block the smell. Maul grinned. He was leaning into the back of the bench, one leg drawn up on the seat.
“Help yourself,” he mocked.
“I’ll get rations from my ship”, you announced, face still pressed into your elbow.
You feared you’d throw up if you didn’t get out of the ship immediately. Maul didn’t make any indication to stop you or command you otherwise, so you hurried out. Zanbar was a desolate moon, especially when it was light. All you saw was rock and occasionally some movement of what you assumed to be the kind of animal that was in the ship’s freezer. The walk to your Starfighter was brief, you had completely overestimated how far you had walked the day before. You packed up everything that you had on your ship, this included enough ration packs to hold you over water for twenty meals, a big canteen of water, a filter and a med kit.
The Starfighter stood silently in front of you, the metal reflecting the light of the nearby sun that was way too far away to not make it heat up. You dropped your filled backpack to the ground and put both hands on the cool metal. Flying away was an option. You’d be free. You’d have no place to stay, but also no obligations. Free to roam the galaxy. Strangely, that didn’t sound alluring at all. You were determined to return to the freighter, to your new master, and to see what he could teach you about the force that you hadn’t experienced yet.
Back at the freighter, Maul was nowhere to be seen.
After eating two ration bars and drinking half of your canteen, you felt invigorated and started to clean the freighter. You were used to higher standards by the Jedi quarters and the Republican’s army quarters on ships and hoped that Maul wouldn’t mind. First, you switched on the conditioning to get some airflow, the moon still being eerily wind still and you had to get rid of the smell in the ship or your focus would suffer. Cleaning the kitchen block was your second course of action, because you wanted to stash your rations somewhere. You could’ve stored them in your quarters but wanted to make clear that they are available for Maul also. He might have gnawed on the carcass in the freezer (of which the temperature was way too high to properly preserve, you took care of that too), you didn’t quite know enough about Zabrak’s cuisine, but maybe rations are just a better option that he was too unbothered to ensure for himself.
You had started sweeping out the dust when Maul returned. He looked at your actions with slight amusement, but also curiosity. He had not expected you to start cleaning this junkpile of a freighter.
He made a contemplative humming sound before he commented, “I see the Jedi’s teachings are hard to shake.”
“I can concentrate better when my surroundings are in order,” you explained, pausing your brush sweeps so there wouldn’t be a cloud of dust flying into Maul’s face when he walks up the ramp.
Maul walked past you and you had to swallow all of the questions you had for him. Where had he been? Why was he on this moon in the first place? When would he teach you? What were you expected to do? But the Jedi had already taught you to not open your mouth for every question but to submiss to the natural flow of things.
“You’re not ready,” Maul dropped carelessly as he walked past you and sat down in the crew area. Your eyes had followed him curiously. He had started. You might as well dare a follow-up question.
“How so?”, you asked.
“Your entire life you have been brought up by the Jedi. Training someone in the dark side of the force requires strength and passion that you do not possess,” his voice was dark as he elaborated. His gaze seemed haunted by memories.
You looked to the ground, not sure if you could take issue with this accusation. Your heart was racing. Could this compromise you ever training in the dark side of the force?
“Tell me,” Maul leaned across the table and watched you carefully, “What is your worst memory of your Jedi training sessions?”
Closing your eyes, you tried to remember all of them.
"I suppose it was when I was outmatched in a lightsaber fight by someone ten years younger than me. My opponent was a good duelist, but I couldn’t even put up half a fight. There were quite a few Padawans and Masters watching. Hearing the whispers and giggles when I lost and seeing the disappointed faces of the Masters, I felt severely humiliated,” you recounted.
Maul clenched his jar. This was pathetic and it only proved his point. Remembering his training, there was nothing but pain. Constant humiliation, physical and mental abuse. If he even subjected you to half of it, you’d crumble. There was a tiny chance you wouldn’t. Maybe you would tap into power that might even surprise him. You had showed so much potential during the fight yesterday, and he had only taunted you a little. Cornering you like a wounded animal might unleash great power in you, but it might also end in a way he couldn’t predict. He’d prefer a force user by his side that he could control and regulate to his needs, and a Jedi is way more docile than a fellow Sith.
A little lost in his thoughts, Maul had missed you approaching the table. He only looked up when you placed your lightsaber on the table. You had sensed the fear in him and had rightfully interpreted it as fear of your abilities. Thinking back to the power you had felt when you had crushed through the force, you felt proud...but likewise afraid. Placing your lightsaber on the table was intended as a sign of trust. You wouldn’t need it here on Zanbar under his supervision, neither for attack, nor for defense - unless he told you otherwise.
“May I ask a question?”, you asked. “Go ahead.”
“What happened to the other one? Savage, was it?”
Maul’s eyes grew a little darker, “He was taken from me. It was on Florrum. After Kenobi cut off his arm and we retreated, the Pirates shot us. There were too many. We drifted through space for a while in a space pod. When Deathwatch found us, it was already too late for him.”
“I see. I’m sorry.”
“Pah!”, Maul laughed and stood up, towering in front of you, “You are sorry? Did Savage not kill some of your Jedi friends?”
“He did, yes”, you answered calmly mentally adding a ‘So did you’.
“Yet, I am sorry you lost your brother,” you went on.
Maul looked down on you as if your words were utterly disgusting. He was angry and you felt slightly worried that this anger would create conflict.
“Compassion makes you weak. Losing my brother was neither something I had thought would happen, nor a development of events that I welcome, but having him taken away from me...this anger fuels me. It makes me want to take revenge and this makes me powerful. This is the power you will have to embrace if you ever want to truly bend the force to your will.”
You disagreed. Compassion might sometimes make one blind, but you felt like it didn’t apply in this case. You truly felt sorry for Maul, because what he had to endure in his life was beyond imaginable for you. And this compassion for an enemy of the Jedi made you strong. It bound you to him.
“Yes, Master,” you said and nodded, lowering your eyes. You didn’t have to discuss this matter.
Maul walked back to the table and you returned to your cleaning. But you only finished dusting and then retreated to your chamber to meditate and do some light exercise to test if your bodily strength had returned. Not wanting to disturb Maul in the main part of the ship, you spent the rest of your day in your quarters, cleaning and meditating and lying down to rest as soon as it was dark outside.
Your sleep was much lighter tonight. When not unusually weakened through battle or injuries, the force usually made you aware of your surroundings. Maul lingered in the crew area for a while before he retreated to his quarters. You were always aware where he was in relation to you. You felt his energy as a constant pulse, though you technically were asleep. Suddenly, it became so strong and so overwhelming that you woke and sat up in bed. Quiet whimpering echoed through the ship. You walked to your door and opened it. The whimpering clearly came from Maul’s quarters. You didn’t venture closer, merely listened from afar. He was quiet for a few minutes. Then the whimpering started again. Sometimes you could make out a couple of words. Chains. Filth. Power. When you laid down again, it was harder to fall asleep. You had to meditate to calm yourself. Even when you nodded off, there was occasionally a shift in the force that startled you awake, made you angry and afraid. Then you’d drift off to sleep again.