Work Text:
Crouching on the floor of his quarters aboard the Tatalov, he lays the fabric out against the couch, the orange leather framing the black piece of clothing he soon tries to faithfully capture the glory of with his phone.
Various bottles of hot sauces crowned with skulls, flames and chili peppers are printed onto the fabric, juxtaposed haphazardly across the front of the boxer shorts, while bold, brutal letters spelling out HOT STUFF seal the beauty of this impossibly tasteful piece of underwear.
Once a picture of his latest responsible purchase has been taken, Caelus gets back to his feet with an undoubtedly virtuous cackle before sitting back down on the couch, returning to his ongoing conversation in his group chat with March and Dan Heng.
The three of them had been catching one another up on their separate journeys to see As I've Written published across the cosmos, their first few days spent apart and away from the Express since returning from Amphoreus made a bit easier with each picture sent by March of the worlds Caelus hadn't seen yet, with each wall of text sent by Dan Heng regarding newly discovered species of fauna or flora, and, hopefully, with each update Caelus sent regarding their mutual friends at the Space Station, in Belobog, on the Luofu and now, in Penacony's Dreamscape.
And the update he's about to send them is just as important, and just as heartfelt. Clearly.
Check this out
Caelus attaches a picture of his spicy purchase to the conversation.
Do you like my new undies
He sniggers from seeing how quickly both of them start typing in response, the 'currently typing...' message hovering threateningly until March's responses pop in.
Wow!!! They're awful!
Perfect for you :)
Caelus snorts, although his laughing is soon cut short by Dan Heng's own response coming through — And it's short and sweet(?), despite the time he seemed to spend typing it:
👍
Before Caelus can even begin questioning the depth of the implications of what should be a straightforwardly supportive emoji, a notification brings his attention to his private messaging thread with Dan Heng, where a new message greets him.
I could give you more detailed feedback regarding your new underpants if I saw what they look like on you.
"Oh. Shit." Caelus blurts out to himself despite being alone in his quarters, hiding his mouth behind his fist to laugh nervously.
He stares at his screen for an indescribable amount of time, sliding in and out of the thread to make sure the message was actually truly sent by Dan Heng, and not a catfish trying to blackmail his ass with pictures of his ass.
Well.
It's not like his reputation would take much of a hit if his crotch surfaced in digital spaces. In fact, it probably wouldn't surprise anyone.
So... What did he have to lose? And Dan Heng asked so politely!
He proceeds to kick off his boots, his pants soon following suit before joining his jacket on top of the pile of cushions already taking up half of the couch. He peeks out the windows of his quarters, making sure no curious Origami Bird or walking billboard was sneaking around the cockpit area before swapping his current boxer shorts out for his new ones, accurately labelling himself as HOT STUFF.
But that was the easy part.
Should he stand? Should he sit?
Should he thumbs-up his own 'stuff'? Should he push the fabric up his thighs a little?
Should he be demure, as he most certainly undoubtedly unarguably absolutely utterly honestly is? Or should he spread his legs?
Seventy-four (74) pictures. Okay.
He can pick one of these out. It'll definitely look like it's the one and only single picture he quickly, casually, nonchalantly snapped. No big deal.
The fact that by the time he goes back to their private messaging thread, ready to send his picture of choice, the timestamp tells him of the thirty-seven (37) minutes that had passed since Dan Heng's message came in would only further accentuate his casual nonchalance. Without a doubt.
Caelus takes one last look at the chosen picture before sending it, reviewing the unassuming inclusion of his bare thighs which only take up 40% of the frame, another 10% occupied by his very modest choice to hike his shirt up so his stomach, which he definitely didn't suck in for the sake of a picture, could make it in. The other half of the picture, meanwhile, showcased the main subject and all of its hot sauces.
Come on, dude.
Just send the damn picture.
When he finally does, naught but two humble emoji caption it:
🌶️🫡
Caelus stares holes into his phone as he waits for a response, holding it inches from his face to monitor the 'Dan Heng is currently typing...' message blinking in and out of view for what feels like a billion system years, sitting on the couch in nothing but his shirt and his newest purchase, the Dreamscape thankfully never too breezy.
Suddenly, his phone screen shifts.
But not with a new message.
With a darkened screen, accompanied by vibrations and a jingle.
(Specifically, a custom ringtone set to Hanu's Adventure's theme song.)
And big, bright letters that read a very familiar name.
Dan Heng.
Instead of answering his phone immediately like any normal person should when their one-of-two-best-friends but also big-crush-he-went-on-a-date-with and hot-guy-who-sucked-his-dick-twice-already-holy-shit-what calls, Caelus jumps up to his feet, nearly dropping his phone in the process, frantically ruffling his bangs and fixing his shirt even if nothing indicated this would be a video call.
Brother Hanu's theme song nears its end by the time Caelus finally dares to answer his phone, taking a page out of the mascot's book to channel his coolest, deepest, most nonchalant voice ever.
"HeLLO!?" Nevermind. Voice cracked. Fuck.
"Hi." Dan Heng's own voice comes through, and it effortlessly outdoes his in terms of cool.
"Hi." Caelus parrots him instead of furthering the conversation.
"Were you busy?" Dan Heng inquires so gently, politely ignoring Caelus' awkward response.
"No. Yeah. No. Just, uh, waiting for Dr. Edward's take on making As I've Written into a dream bubble." Caelus sits back down on the couch. "I'm hanging out on the airship."
"I could see that." Dan Heng sounds so relaxed, as if Caelus' carefully crafted picture didn't reach him. "From your picture."
Okay. Maybe it did. "True, true. Yeah. Just chilling. In my boxers. You calling to give me your 'feedback' on those?"
"Mm. Sure. The bottles are rendered in an uniquely fun art style, but the typography could use some work." Dan Heng's serious critique makes Caelus smile, shedding some of his awkwardness in the process. "By themselves, they might not be the most outstanding piece of clothing... But you make all of the difference."
"Yeah? How so?" Caelus grins to himself, pulling one of his legs up to the couch, propping his elbow up on it while he keeps the phone to his ear, looking forward to hearing how Dan Heng would reply.
"You always look so good in black. It makes your thighs look so soft in contrast... And I like how the waistband digs into your skin."
Dan Heng trails off, his highly descriptive words making Caelus' mouth gape, back to questioning the catfishing possibility — But he doubts even the most advanced technology or space magic, short of being aeonic in nature, could convey Dan Heng's appreciative tone so faithfully.
"I'm sorry. Was that too much?" Dan Heng's calm inquiry brings him out of his thoughts.
"No. You're good. You're great. The review's great. My review of your review? Ten out of ten. Congratulations."
Dan Heng's chuckle soothes him, faint sounds of rustling fabrics coming through the phone.
"Were you busy?" Caelus tries getting a conversation going to make up for all of his own dead-end responses, happy to talk with Dan Heng despite his initial phone-induced jumpscare.
"I'm in bed, actually. It's nighttime here."
"Cool. You can sleep for my sake." Caelus brings both his knees up to his chest, his free hand reaching for one of his thighs, still thinking of Dan Heng's words regarding them as he tries to hold their small talk. "How're the beds in Thalassa?"
"Quite interesting, actually. They have futons and cloth mattresses in most resorts meant for all of the Foxian and Native tourists that visit Insumousu from Xianzhou ships, but I like the waterbeds that the locals favor." Caelus smiles to himself as he listens to Dan Heng's voice, always happy to get him into one of his yaps. "They're not like the Dreampools at the Reverie or anything of the like, but actual mattresses filled with water from the Thalassan oceans. Some have artificial wave motion settings, but I prefer the ones that ripple and wave naturally, according to their occupants' movements. For the locals, it prepares them for their aquatic future once their gills have grown out and their lungs have shrunk. For Vidyadhara, I suppose it's more of a reminiscence of long past lifetimes in the ocean, or perhaps even the heart of our eggs."
"What happens if you're wearing spiky clothing and pop the bed full of water open?"
"..." Dan Heng falls silent at Caelus' profound query, clearly pondering how to best answer this pertinent line of questioning. "The material is much sturdier than anything you might be imagining. But I somehow feel like you'd try finding out anyway."
"Yeah. Go get Cloud-Piercer and tell me." Caelus nods to himself, convinced of the righteousness of his desire for practical research.
"I'm not going to damage any property." Dan Heng's response is made slightly less firm by the laugh that mixes into his words.
"Even if I ask nicely?"
"Even if you ask nicely."
"What if I send you another picture?" Caelus bites his lips as soon as he hears the words slip past his lips, grinning nervously, excitedly.
"Hm... Maybe I'd think about it." Dan Heng's smile seems obvious in his voice, and Caelus holds onto his own thigh a little more tightly. "I missed hearing your voice."
"It's been like, three days." Caelus' knee-jerk response hides his embarrassment, a wave of heat overtaking his stomach.
"It has."
Is it too early to make a joke wondering how Dan Heng got through a thousand years if three system days apart had him longing?
Yeah. It's probably too early. But. Still.
"Sap. You wanna hear me talk about the latest gossip around the Dreamscape, then? Or maybe what got nerfed in the latest patch of my MOBA game? How about some of the new slang I heard on the Luofu?"
"Whatever floats your boat."
"Woah. One night on Thalassa and you're all in on the water expressions?"
"Did I use that idiom incorrectly?" Dan Heng's genuine question in response to Caelus' tease makes him feel a little guilty...
...But also very thirsty.
Look who's on the water-related expressions now.
"Nah, you're good." Caelus shifts around on the couch to sit cross-legged, patting his own knee awkwardly, as if to encourage himself to say what he actually wants to. "...I missed hearing your voice, too. Can I, uh... Can I ask you something, actually?"
"Of course. Anything."
"Okay. Uhhh..." Caelus clears his throat, his free hand now balled up into a fist, stupid nervous to ask something stupid silly considering just how much time he had spent in bed with Dan Heng these past few weeks. "What would you do if I was next to you? In bed? Right now?"
"Trying to stop you from making Cloud-Piercer into Mattress-Piercer?"
"Shiiit. That's a good one." Caelus is genuinely impressed by the wit of Dan Heng's wordplay. He had clearly learned from the best. The best being himself. Obviously. "You copyrighted that yet? Mattress-Piercer would be a good name for... My... Uh..."
"It's public domain. Do what you want." Dan Heng snorts, the sound of rippling water in the background signaling his rolling over. "Assuming you'd renounce any acts of vandalism... I would want to be close to you. The waterbeds aren't exactly conductive to warmth."
"So I'm just a space heater to you, huh... I see... I understand..." Caelus pretends to sulk, thankful being on the phone means he could hide the huge smile that takes over his face.
"Of course not. I'd be the one wishing to give you some warmth." Dan Heng's straightforward response makes Caelus' eyes widen, trying to not break out into nervous snickers.
"Okay. And how would you do that?" Caelus plays the innocent act, one that comes naturally to him considering just how pure and chaste he is. Irony? What's that?
"Would you like me to touch your legs?"
"Um. Yeah. Sure." Caelus' words might sound uncertain, but his own fingers know otherwise, brushing up his thigh from his knee, goosebumps forming on his bare skin.
"Good. I like how they feel. Your skin is so soft... I'd run my fingertips up and down your thighs... Maybe even between them."
"Holy shit, like, my dick?!?"
"Calm down." Dan Heng snorts, seemingly not too bothered that Caelus' nervous blurt interrupted the hot shit he was saying. "I mean your inner thighs."
"Right. Cool. Fuck. Okay." Caelus switches his phone to his other hand, shifting awkwardly. "I do like when you do. That."
"That makes me happy." Dan Heng's voice sounds as gentle as his hands would undoubtedly feel. "I'd touch you slowly, and I'd put my ear to your chest while I do so, because I want to hear your heart beat faster and faster the more I touch you..."
There was a tinge of geekiness to Dan Heng's words, but also something somewhat... feral, which makes Caelus feel like prey, his cock responding a little too strongly.
"I wouldn't touch your... Mattress-Piercer, is that what you're going to call it now?" Dan Heng's jab makes Caelus laugh, drawing him out of his horny trap while also encouraging Dan Heng to keep going. "I wouldn't touch it just yet, because I want to feel your stomach, too, and your chest, once your heart is beating so intensely I could feel it against my fingertips."
"How 'bout your heart? Is it beating fast right now?" Caelus asks, knowing his is pumping like crazy, getting up to his head and down to his growing erection.
"It is." Dan Heng is quiet for a moment, but Caelus knows him well enough to guess he's holding his hand to his furnace of a heart to answer honestly. "It makes me excited to tell you things like this."
"Yeah, well, the stuff you're saying makes me excited, too." Caelus isn't sure they mean it in the exact same way as one another, but he has to speak up for his throbbing cock.
"I'm glad. Even if it makes me wish I could teleport to a Space Anchor near you right now." Dan Heng chuckles softly to punctuate his statement, and the weight of their current mission is the only thing that stops Caelus from getting down to his knees and begging Dan Heng to come do everything he said, and then some. "So I could kiss your neck... Your shoulders..."
"Help." Caelus blurts out, not as expertly composed as he would want to be with how steamy this was getting.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes. Sorry." Caelus clears his throat. "You may proceed."
"Are you aroused?" Dan Heng asks straightforwardly, without a single hint of mockery.
"Uhhh. Why're you asking?"
"Because I am."
"Shit. Okay. That's cool." It sure is, Caelus. Well said. "Yup. Aroused. Turned on. Cock's hard."
"Do you want to touch yourself?" Dan Heng's suggestion is so lewd that Caelus nearly gasps, instead letting his jaw fall again, staring ahead blankly.
How did his trashy boxer shorts get him into the phone sex scenario of his dreams!?
"I would love to listen to you... If you wouldn't mind." Dan Heng's voice nudges Caelus out of his prolonged silence.
"I've never touched myself." Caelus interjects, spouting an obviously ironic joke to try and fail to mask his nervosity.
"You. Don't masturbate." Dan Heng tries and fails to hold back a snort.
"Never. I'm as pure as a pearl."
"Pearls are formed around irritants, impurities, that intrude into mollusks' shells. I'm not sure your simile works here."
Caelus fakes a sniffle in response to Dan Heng's debunking words.
"I am, however, sure you've touched yourself for me before." Dan Heng is likely referring to their first time, his gentle guidance helping Caelus get it up again seconds after busting an early nut.
Fuck. Memories of Dan Heng's naked body pressed against his threatens to make that happen, again. And his pretty butt isn't even here to get creampied!
"But I don't want to make you feel weird. You don't have to do it if you don't want to." Dan Heng's soft words melt Caelus, who is utterly uninterested in making him feel bad when he was just as horny.
"It's not weird. I think. It's not weird to me." Caelus is convinced he would do the raunchiest shit in the cosmos if he could find the balls to ask Dan Heng for it... So this is nothing to get cold feet over, right? Right. "I really want to do it."
"You do?" Dan Heng nearly whispers his excited response, seemingly shifting around on his Thalassan waterbed again.
"Yeah. You wanna, uh..." Caelus looks down at his newly purchased underwear, the hot sauces and bold font now tenting up around his erection. "Can you tell me how you want me to touch myself?"
"Of course. Are you sitting down right now?"
"Yep. Are you lying down?" Caelus asks, still poorly hiding his bashfulness. "On your back? On your side? On your left? On your right?"
"On my side. My left side." Dan Heng answers so earnestly that Caelus feels a little bad for being so awkward. "My phone is on the mattress, on speaker mode. Do you hear me well?"
"Yeah, totally." Okay, that explains the obvious rustling and wobbling sounds. "So, uh... Which bottle of hot sauce do I stroke?"
Dan Heng snorts before responding, a chuckle still in his voice. "Whichever is closest to your penis."
"Ahhh." Caelus brings his free hand to his face. "Don't say the P-word. Makes me feel like you're giving me an anatomy lesson, I dunno."
"I'd argue this is an anatomy lesson." Dan Heng taunts, his choice to act all clever making Caelus even hornier. "What do you prefer, then? Dick? Cock?"
"Fuck." Caelus palms his dick/cock before Dan Heng's voice gets it to explode. "Either. It's fucking hot when you say either. Just say that again."
"Dick." Dan Heng laughs softly, the fact that he heeds Caelus' request making it sound even hotter. "Cock."
"Shiiit. This is almost better than those voice messages of you talking cat and dog."
"...I somehow knew you'd make questionable use of those."
"Excuse me, was I supposed to NOT jerk off to you purring and barking!?"
"You're unbelievable." Dan Heng chuckles, and Caelus can guess his shaking head. "...But I'm honored that my voice makes you want to pleasure yourself."
"You're welcome?!" Caelus exclaims with a hint of confusion, never quite coping with just how much Dan Heng enables his indulgences. Well. Most of them, at least. "...But, uh... There's. More than just your voice. That makes me want to... Do. That."
"Really?" Dan Heng's tone is teasing, not even trying to hide his awareness of Caelus' thirst. "Can you tell me what you're thinking of?"
"I mean... Uh... Like..." Let's keep any mention of his tight ass for later. Maybe. Aim a little lower. Or higher, considering. "Your face. It's a pretty face."
"Thank you." Dan Heng laughs softly again, which encourages Caelus to say more.
"Uh-huh. It's, y'know. You do some pretty cool stuff with it. Like... Kissing me." Caelus is back to staring absentmindedly at the hot sauces between his legs, the fabric they're printed on taut and wriggled around whenever he remembers to move his palm across his length. "And... Shit. You obviously give crazy head."
Dan Heng hums approvingly into the phone, and Caelus feels a little more confident about saying dirty things knowing it's having some kind of power over him.
"I keep thinking about what you look like on your knees." Caelus chews on his lower lip, impressing himself with his daring words. "And how I feel in your mouth."
"And how is that?" Dan Heng's voice sounds a little hoarse when he asks.
"Fuck, I dunno. Really good." Caelus feels hot all over, highkey excited to say things that are apparently exciting to hear. "Like my cock should always be in your mouth instead of in these... Super tasteful boxers."
Dan Heng's gentle laugh makes Caelus want to roll over in more ways than one, but he settles for leaning his head back to look at the ceiling of his quarters, as if he could better picture Dan Heng sucking him off up there.
"It gets me off bad to think about your mouth, but it never feels as good as you do when I use my hands." Cold sweat itches at Caelus' nape from saying something so blunt.
"We can try to make it feel just as good." But Dan Heng replies immediately, as if he had been waiting for his cue. "Do you like how the fabric feels when you touch yourself through your underwear? Does the additional friction arouse you?"
"Uhhh." Caelus had admittedly given himself nothing but a stroke a minute so far — Apparently not as gifted at this kind of multitasking compared to how he can do his dailies while watching streams while replying to his messages while (not) listening to Pom-Pom talk. "I'll get back to you."
Dan Heng chuckles, picking up on the implication that little to no work had been done quite yet. "Don't worry. Try it now. Take yourself in your hand and rub your thumb up and down your length."
"Got it. Grabbed it. Thumbing it." Caelus' unserious progress report helps him process some of his bashfulness as he does just so. "I'm... Real hard. The little skull icon on the middle bottle is all stretched out."
"Thanks for letting me know." Dan Heng's smile is obvious in his voice despite his dry response.
"Anytime." Caelus feels just how sensitive he is, each brush of the fabric against his cock making the pit of his stomach burn up a little more. "The friction's nice. But I think my pre's getting in the fabric."
Just as Caelus circles his thumb across the damp patch covering the tip of his erection, he hears a rough exhale pour out of his phone's speaker.
"...You good?" Caelus inquires, not too sure what that breath meant.
"Yes."
"Cool. Why'd you do that?"
"..." Dan Heng seems to hesitate for a moment, the antsy silence making Caelus shift around on the couch. "...Because I desperately wish I could be there to lick that clean for you."
"Wow. That's a lot."
"Too much?"
"No. Just right." Caelus can't help the impish grin that stretches across his face. "Would you lick my underwear clean? Or my cock itself?"
"Both. I want to suck on the fabric so not one drop of you goes to waste. Then I'll lick your tip." It still feels unreal to hear Dan Heng expressing such blunt desires, but he knows by now that he means every single word — Which makes it all the more arousing. "Push your thumb into it. Think about how I'd press the tip of my tongue to it and drink all that leaks out of you."
"Fuck." Caelus can only speak this one word to respond to the dozens of raunchy ones Dan Heng just said, soon following his advice, his erection throbbing within the increasingly damp fabric. "My boxers are so fucking messed up now."
"You can take them off." Dan Heng breathes in slowly, possibly still considering using his mouth to skip on a load of laundry. "We don't want your newest purchase to get too dirty."
"Hey, they're only on me because you wanted them to be."
"I did. And now I've seen what I wanted to see. So take them off." Dan Heng likely hears how authoritative he sounds, soon following up on his request. "...If you want to."
"Yeah, I want to. I also want you to feel free to tell me what to do." Caelus sneaks his free hand's thumb into the waistband of his boxer shorts, lifting his hips up to get his underpants down. "Can't promise I'll listen, but I'll at least get turned on."
"Okay." Dan Heng's chuckle reassures Caelus that he wasn't being too freaky with a request of the like. "Did you take your underwear off?"
"Yep. My days as HOT STUFF are over." Caelus fakes a sniffle over the phone, even though his own joke has him smirking to himself, ass out in his quarters.
"You're always hot... 'stuff'... to me." Dan Heng barely gets the sentence out before laughing, but the compliment(?) still hits. "How does it look?"
"My cock? Uh. Up and about. Like it wants to go places." Caelus cringes at his own words, knowing he's falling short compared to Dan Heng's talk of drinking leaks. "...Do you, uh... Wanna see it?"
Ah, shit. Spoke before thinking. Again.
Contrary to what one might expect of him, Caelus had never taken nor sent dick pics before.
...Or, at least, none that he remembers.
But the idea sure was out now.
"Do you want to show me?" Dan Heng's voice anchors Caelus to the moment, to his bare ass on this orange couch, staring down his own glistening little cock.
"Kinda, yeah." There's a shiver of thrill that runs up his spine when he grabs the base of his erection, when he thinks of showing it to Dan Heng, when he feels just how filthy it seems to do so, his toes curling into the carpet. "Fair trade for your meowing voice messages, or something."
"That works." Dan Heng chuckles, his voice a little closer, having seemingly picked his phone up. "Send me a picture."
"Just a sec." Fuck. Okay. No time to try 29 different poses, 14 different angles and 31 different crops here. One's going to have to do it. "Should I, like... I dunno. Do I hold it!?"
"You can. I want to see how big you are."
Dan Heng's praise might be sincere, but Caelus bursts out laughing, knowing he has nothing too impressive going on down there. "I'm already sending you a pic, you don't need to lick my ass to get it."
"Hm. Maybe I want to."
"Wait—" Caelus laughs again, much more nervously this time, realizing his choice of expression has unintended (but definitely not unwelcome) implications. "Okay. Okay. Stop distracting me. I'm about to make art out here."
Dan Heng lets out a quiet chuckle but otherwise complies, which allows Caelus to switch his phone to speaker mode before getting his camera app out, soon witnessing his erection take over the screen, which makes him snort.
But thinking about Dan Heng waiting to see it on the other end of the cosmos makes him want to try and take this a little more seriously.
He brings his left hand to the base of his cock, thinking about Dan Heng's words as he smears pre across his wet head before thumbing down the side of his length to guide his foreskin further down and show a bit more of his tip, his own face burning hot from how perverted this feels — But he somehow manages to press the shutter release before chickening out.
"Alright." Caelus brings his phone close to his face to inspect his handiwork, slightly embarrassed but insanely turned on to expose himself like this. "Ready to be awed?"
"I am." Dan Heng sounds like he's legitimately sitting up in polite anticipation, if the rustling fabric and wobbly mattress noises that come through the phone are anything to go by. "Just don't send it to the wrong recipient."
"I'm too cute to get cancelled for unsolicited dick pics..."
"I know. So just send it to someone soliciting them. Like me." Dan Heng reiterating his interest in receiving his filthy pictures has Caelus biting his lips excitedly. "And you should probably delete it off of your phone after."
"Are you gonna delete it after looking at it?"
"No. I don't think I will."
"Hello!??"
"I'll put it to good use." Dan Heng's response has Caelus hum suspiciously while he gives his masterpiece a final crop, golden ratio-ing the shit out of his dick. "Plus, I'm much less likely to get blackmailed or hacked than you are. And less likely to press buttons I shouldn't."
"You sure my dick's not gonna end up in the data bank like it's one of the new species you've been documenting!?"
"Fairly sure." Each of Dan Heng's teases heat Caelus' guts further, keeping him hard despite his own nervous stalling. "Show me?"
"Yeah. Okay." Caelus does double-check which conversation his dick's about to penetrate, although the nature of the last picture he sent Dan Heng in private is a pretty dead giveaway. "Sending it."
"Thank you."
There's silence on the other end of the line afterwards, Caelus' stomach squeezing and tumbling around while waiting for the picture to get through.
And then a little 'Read' mention pops up besides the timestamp. And then a quiet, possibly somewhat shy chuckle comes out of his phone.
"So? What do you think?"
"I love it. Your cock is as pretty as I remember it being."
"Simp."
"You said that's a compliment, right?"
"Uh. Well. Getting simped on by you is, I guess."
"Good." Dan Heng is silent for a short moment before speaking again, his voice low, but unbelievably warm. "I want to make you come."
"Fuck. Say that three more times and I will, honestly."
"That would be too easy." But Dan Heng seems thankful for the implications of that invitation, his calm voice sweet in the phone. "Can you put your phone down? I'll still hear you. I want you to use both of your hands."
"Sure, yeah." Caelus clears his throat as he switches his phone to speaker mode again, putting it down on the couch, right by his thigh. "I am in position."
"So formal." Dan Heng's short laugh pours out of the phone and right down his crotch. "I'm still looking at the picture... It reminds me of just how good you taste. Of how sweet you sound when I take you in my mouth..."
As hot as the words Dan Heng speaks are, they do get Caelus wondering if he'll sound as allegedly good on the phone, if he should play it up a little, awkwardly keeping his palms to his thighs.
"...Your cock, but the rest of you, too... I wish I could press my tongue to your stomach... My teeth to your hips... My lips to your chest... Even through your shirt... Even if it might... get... 'moist'?"
Dan Heng thinks so highly of him, talks like he's straight out of a steamy historical romance television series while Caelus can barely repeat terminally online dirty jokes or slutty quotes he heard in porn without blundering.
"Are you nervous?"
"What? Nervous? Who? Me?!" Caelus straightens up his back as he laughs in an undeniably confident and totally not nervous way. That thought spiral definitely never happened. "What makes you say that?"
"You're being uncharacteristically quiet. You didn't even say anything when I said 'moist'. You usually hate that word."
"...Damn. I do hate that word. Even out of your hot mouth." Caelus pretends to shudder in cringe and Dan Heng chuckles, a comfort and an invitation to show some vulnerability. "I mean. Kinda, I guess. You're talking dirty like you're actually the Demigod of Fertility and the Scion of Permanent Hard-ons and I'm here with my dick out and my socks on."
"What color are your socks?"
"...Uh. Trash Cake keeps eating mine, so. I grabbed some out of March's dresser." Caelus looks down at his fuzz-covered feet, Dan Heng's deadpan question successfully getting him to focus on something other than his insecurity. "They're. There's pink gummy bears on them."
"Mm. I do like pink on you." Dan Heng's effortless flattery gets a scoff out of Caelus, but also makes his stomach flutter, untangling some knots in the process. "But you can take the time to take them off, if it'd help your confidence."
"Wait... You're not trying to get feet pics out of me next, are you!?!??"
"Well, if you're offering..." Dan Heng's answer has Caelus gasp theatrically before bursting out laughing. "In any case, don't be hard on yourself. I just want you to have a good time. You don't need to do or say anything. You're right just as you are."
"I won't be hard on myself... But I sure am hard, myself!"
"Now that's more like you."
"Heh." Caelus finds himself wearing a dopey smile again, knowing that if it weren't for being systems apart, any raunchy behavior would get further delayed by his itching need to hug Dan Heng. "So. Two hands. Should I like, I dunno, grope my balls or something?"
"You should." The thoughtful sound that follows Dan Heng's response is closer to a groan than a hum. "Did you like it, when I put my mouth on them?"
"Fuck, yeah I did." Caelus moves as quickly as he answers, his left hand reaching between his legs, propping his balls up with his fingertips while his thumb presses down on them, kneading into himself. "Bet you could get me to bust one just from sucking on my nuts."
"Mm. I'm sure."
"Uh-huh." Caelus sees it, Dan Heng's lips on his nastiest bits while his cock rubs up on his face. "Shit, your face would get so filthy. I'd smear all of my pre on your cheek."
"That's what I want." Dan Heng's voice reminds Caelus of his enthusiasm, the horny thoughts in his mind growing more vivid as he brings his second hand to his length. "You can come on my face. You don't even need to ask me. You don't even need to warn me."
"Fuck." Caelus nearly sobs from hearing something so perverted, already jerking himself off, Dan Heng swallowing his cum, Dan Heng gasping when he came on his ass, now Dan Heng letting him come right on his sweet face!? "I'd mess your hair up. I'd smudge that red makeup right off. I'd fuck your pretty face up so bad."
"Thank you for calling it pretty again." The hoarseness in Dan Heng's voice hopefully means he likes what he's hearing as Caelus grows delirious, close. "I'm sure you're beautiful right now, too, with how dirty you're talking."
"I'm just as dirty as my mouth, actually." Caelus squeezes the base of his erection to keep himself in the game a bit longer, exhaling harshly before he manages to say more. "My hand's all slick with pre. My cock's going crazy, too. I think literally all my blood's down there now."
"Mm. I wish I could take it. I want to taste your foreskin."
"Wow. Shit. You really like my lil hoodie buddy, huh?"
"Your..." Dan Heng chuckles before continuing. "I do. As you now know, Vidyadhara anatomy doesn't account for any since our organs are safely sheathed within us when not engaging in sexual activity, so..."
"Uh-huh..." Now this is an upside to doing trashy shit over the phone.
With Caelus' tongue and dick systems away instead of down his throat, Dan Heng could go on all of the scientific spiels he wants to — And damn if 'sexual' didn't sound good coming out of his mouth.
"Yeah. Well. It feels crazy good when you play with mine." So Caelus figures he should give his foreskin some love as well, thumbing into sensitive skin before stroking himself down slowly to retract it further back, unable to quiet a short moan at the friction created. "Fuck, I feel like I'm your funky little human pet or some shit. Makes me feel so fucking hot."
"Maybe I really ought to include you in the data bank, then?"
"Yup. Do whatever you want with me."
"This is what I mean when I say you're more likely to get hacked or blackmailed."
"Oh, yeah. You should blackmail me." What? It's not like Caelus can stop his dick from talking for him at this point, too aroused to filter any of his horny thoughts. "Do a crime on me, I don't care."
"I think I'll pass. I've spent enough time in prison already."
"Oh. Oh fuck. I'm. So sorry." Caelus is gagged by his own stupidity, the realization hitting him like a cold shower.
"I'm teasing you. You're fine." Dan Heng's chuckle does sound sincere, easily turning the temperature back up again while lowering his voice down. "Maybe that's what you'd like to hear? Do you want me to tease you?"
"Uhuhuh. Yeah. Something like that." Caelus looks down at his filthy self, his strokes and kneads picking up the pace again. "Fuck, I can't believe I'm doing this. You should call me a slut, I dunno."
"That hardly seems appropriate when I'm involved in most of your indecent activities... Or at least, I hope I am."
"You're sweet. Now tell me some synonyms for whore."
Dan Heng laughs quietly before giving in. "Sleaze. Rake. Degenerate. Pervert. Libertine."
"Wow. Never heard half of those before. You're so smart."
And hot, too, Caelus stroking himself while listening to his thesaurus on sexy long legs continue to enumerate derogatory words he could pretend were directed at him — At least until he starts feeling his legs tensing, his back arching, his fingers rubbing up just the right inch of his length, and his voice starts spilling out of his throat uncontrollably.
"Oh, fuck," is the only intelligible word he can form between his ragged breaths and strained moans, still trying to hear Dan Heng over the phone despite his own cacophony of pleasure, his voice complemented by the sloppy sounds born from his frantic jerking.
"You're so close. Just a little more." Dan Heng's encouragement has Caelus whining like a bitch, driven to a feverish arousal by the thought of being heard by him.
"I... I wanna come—" Caelus begs between laboured exhales, dropping his balls to sneak his hand into his shirt, clumsily fondling his chest, reaching for any inch of his body that was aching for Dan Heng's lips. "Please. Dan Heng. Please. I want you. So fucking bad."
"I want you, too." Dan Heng responds so quickly, so eagerly, with a warmth that makes Caelus close his eyes that can no longer focus, thinking of those words being said in his ear, against his neck, feeling Dan Heng with him, over him. "I want you to come, Caelus."
"H-h—" Caelus' next cuss gets caught in his throat, gasping breathlessly as he gives his cock one last tug before a prolonged, content moan slips past his lips, his orgasm hitting him violently and ardently.
One or ten system minutes pass as he sits there, eyes closed, breaths heavy, hands... Wet?
Oh. Yeah. Shit.
He sure came all over himself, and no hot guy's actually around to lap it up.
"Well. I, uh, came." Caelus looks down at his messy self and at the phone still resting besides his soiled thigh.
"I could tell." Dan Heng chuckles sweetly, making short work of the growing thoughts of embarrassment that were slowly replacing Caelus' horny haze as all of the words said dawn on him. "How do you feel?"
"Good. Mostly. Fuck. I said some crazy shit. Sorry."
"Don't apologize. I loved everything I heard." Dan Heng sounds genuine, apparently content to hear about his face getting desecrated. "Do you need to clean yourself up?"
"Ugh. Yeah." Caelus throws his head back, still a little intoxicated by his arousal, and mostly very lazy. "Wish you were here to clean me up with your mouth."
"Me too."
With a dramatic sigh, Caelus gets up on his feet to nab some nearby facial tissues — Only being in the Dreamscape means the box stands up on scraggly, cartoonish legs and proceeds to spit out a whirlwind of tissues he has to make an effort to catch in midair... While dick out. Great.
But it also means they wipe him seamlessly clean once he does get his hands (and cock) on them, making it a little less vulgar to pick his phone right back up.
"Alright. Fresh and clean." Caelus brings his phone near his face while slipping his wonderful new boxer shorts back on. "And HOT again."
"Has Dr. Edward gotten back to you yet?"
"I dunno. You trying to get rid of me?"
"It's the opposite." With less action going on on this side of things, Caelus can hear Dan Heng shift around on his wobbly waterbed. "I don't want to keep you... But I don't want to hang up quite yet, either."
Caelus flusters a little, candid sweetness of the like working him up even more than dick talk could. "I won't hang up. Did you... Um..."
"I didn't touch myself. I didn't want to miss out on a single sound you made." Dan Heng's honest yearning makes Caelus hide his burning face in his hand, only slightly mortified that none of his pathetic whimpers and freak words went unnoticed. "I'll do it before going to sleep. Don't worry."
"Okay... But... Uh... You... Don't wanna do it now...?"
"Do you want me to?"
"I mean. Like. If you want to. Kinda." Caelus tries burying his face further into his palm, excruciatingly embarrassed to voice his thirst. "I wanna know how you touch your dicks."
Dan Heng's soft chuckle reassures Caelus that he isn't the only one being sheepish. "I can tell you."
"...Can I see, too?"
"Last time I sent you a picture of me, you sold it for a handful of credits."
"Hey! That was forever ago!" Caelus moves his hand down to his mouth, laughing as he remembers that one episode at Boulder Town's Fight Club. "Also. It wasn't a picture of you. It was a picture of... Cold Dragon Young."
"Hmmm."
"What, you want me to beg for it?" Caelus bites his lower lip, impressed he can still say such slutty shit when his (albeit always limited) inhibitions have returned.
"I was about to start a video call, but go ahead, then."
"Wait, wait, video?? I look fucked up though."
"That's just how I like to see you." Dan Heng's straightforward reply makes Caelus scoff in disbelief. "But you don't need to turn your camera on if you don't want to. You can just watch."
"Fuck. Uh. Okay. That works. I think."
"Alright."
Caelus moves his phone away from his ear again, his screen buffering for a moment, which gives his heart the chance to thump frantically half a dozen of times before Dan Heng's face graces his screen. "Oh, shit."
"What?" Dan Heng smiles at Caelus' reaction, straightening himself up against the headboard of his Thalassan bed, which seems to be made of fossilized corals — Not that Caelus was paying much attention to it.
"Your face is even prettier than I remembered."
Dan Heng brings his fist to his mouth as he chuckles, reasserting the truth of Caelus' spontaneous compliment. "Using your own words — It's been three days."
"Yup." Caelus nods absentmindedly while looking at Dan Heng's relaxed eyes framed by long lashes, the slight tilt of his head as he lowers his hand making some of his hair curl over his eyes, an honest smile visiting his soft lips. "Sorry for saying I'd come on it."
Dan Heng tries to groan but starts laughing instead, his hand covering his brow as he shakes his head. "It's fine. I'm the one who suggested you do it."
"You're so generous, forreal." Caelus props both of his legs up on the couch again, leaning his elbows on his knees to hold his phone up. "C'mon. Show me the good stuff."
"Sure." Dan Heng lowers his hand to poke at his screen, switching the view to his rear camera.
His long, long legs show up on Caelus' end, mercifully still clad in some gray joggers, surrounded by the vibrant waterbed that had accompanied them this whole call — A variety of bioluminescent corals and vivid oceanic flora Caelus couldn't identify apparently inhabiting the fucking mattress, making it look like a giant aquarium. "That bed's amazing. I'd ask how the fuck you're going to sleep without blankets, but I guess I know better of the guy who's chill with sleeping in grass."
"They actually offer bed sheets made out of a fiber farmed from a kelp species native to the Insumousu shores... But I indeed don't mind going without."
"Woah. You'd be like a sushi roll, though. That's kinda cute."
"Someone's hungry."
"Yeah, hungry for your c—"
Before Caelus can even finish voicing his clever statement, Dan Heng works down his own pants, the huge bump born from his two shafts obvious as his briefs come into view, the sight already outright pornographic.
"Oh, fuck. Oh fuck." Caelus' entire face catches on fire, once again made aware that he's biting off way more than he could chew with this spicy phone adventure. "That's too much."
"Okay." And just like that, Dan Heng turns off the video call, leaving Caelus to spout some embarrassed gibberish.
"No, no, wait, wait—" Caelus switches to a frantic, nervous laugh until he can form (mostly) full sentences again. "I do want to see. Sorry. C'mon."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Just. Y'know. I suck at this."
"You're doing great." The screen shifts to black as it buffers, Dan Heng turning his camera back on. "I've never done anything like this before, either."
"You're a natural, though. Saying all that hot shit while I was jacking off. I probably won't be able to help like that."
"You don't need to." Dan Heng's lower body shows up on the phone again, his slim fingers contrasting against the black fabric of his underwear as he palms himself. Damn. "Knowing you're watching..."
He lets out a slow exhale as his fingertips graze the curves of his happy crotch.
"It makes me really excited."
"Yup. I can see that." Caelus clears his throat, doing his very best to stay cool and not shift his eyes away from such an overwhelmingly beautiful sight. "Do you, uh... Do you jerk off lots?"
Dan Heng snorts, but doesn't otherwise mock Caelus' awkward attempt at sexy talk. "We likely don't have the same definition of... 'lots'. But I do it sometimes. It hasn't been as necessary lately, though."
"'Cause we fuck?"
"Because we fuck." Oh, fuck, indeed. Hearing Dan Heng say that threatens to get Caelus up again. "But that also means I know what it's like to be in you — And for you to be in me."
"Wow. So you, like, think of me?"
"Does that really surprise you?" Dan Heng laughs again, the way his index finger circles around what seems to be the clothed peak of his longer length making Caelus hide half of his face in his free hand.
"I am an extremely humble guy. It has never even occurred to me!" Embarrassed just enough to hide behind his hand but also dumb words, apparently.
"I'm sure." Dan Heng's fingers move up to his waistband, his thumb soon pushing it down. "We were in Belobog when I first thought of you."
"Shiiit. That long ago?" Caelus bites his lips overexcitedly, struggling to wrap his head around that revelation when Dan Heng could act so calm and cool around him back then.
"Yes. Why do you think I agreed to get naked in a bath with you."
"Huh. Makes sense." Caelus nods to himself, soon distracted by the view of Dan Heng's briefs moving down to make way for his cocks.
His very erect, very long, very spiky angular ridged pair of Vidyadhara cocks.
"Hi. Hello. Hi." Caelus chuckles breathlessly, his cheeks burning red.
"They can't hear you, sorry."
"Fuck. Too bad. Now I can't tell them I want to suck them."
It's Dan Heng's turn to let out a quiet laugh, the pad of his middle finger stroking the junction where the bunched up skin of his spread slit and the base of his longer length meet. "Mm. They know."
"Cool. Wow." Caelus brings his free hand to his calf, squeezing it, channeling some of his excitement.
The images on his screen are more explicit than any porn he's ever watched, Dan Heng slowly running his finger up the smooth back of his length until he reaches its angular peak, stroking it before wrapping all of his fingers around his shaft. He guides it aside a little as he slowly moves his fist up and down, just enough for Caelus to get an eyeful of the way his knuckles caress his second, girthier cock and all of its spines.
"I love your cocks. They're so hot." Caelus chews on his lower lip, digs into his thigh. "They look almost as good as they feel. Wish I had eyes in my ass."
"That's..." Dan Heng huffs behind the camera and Caelus immediately brings his kneading hand up to hide his face.
"Extremely unsexy. Sorry."
"Not the worst you've said." Dan Heng laughs, soon resuming his strokes. "Tell me more."
"Okay. Uh." Caelus watches Dan Heng's thumb brush across each ridge that textures the flank of his cock, remembering how they felt slipping in and out of him, wondering how they'd feel against his tongue. "Would it feel good if I licked those bumps...?"
"Yes. But it's tough flesh, because they're meant to anchor us in when mating underwater." Oh no. No matter how science-y his tone might be, hearing Dan Heng talk about 'mating' makes Caelus' cock act up again. "So you could even use your teeth."
"Woah. Shit." Caelus has to puff out an exhale to manage a bit of his hunger. "That's fucking hot. You like it when I bite you or something?"
"I do. It makes me feel like you want me."
"I want you, for sure."
"Thank you." Dan Heng's soft laugh accompanies the laps his thumb does around the tip of his lengthier cock. "Please don't bite my dicks though."
"Okay. I'd just graze my teeth up them."
"Mm. That's good." Dan Heng's fingers slide back down his cock again, squeezing a bit more tightly, jerking a bit more quickly. "You learn so fast."
"Uh-huh." Speaking of learning... "So, uh... What's the second one for?"
Dan Heng seems to hesitate for a moment.
Is he embarrassed?
"...It used to aid... insemination... by further stimulating the receiver's body... And making sure semen doesn't wash away or get ejected immediately after performing intercourse." Dan Heng clears his throat while Caelus grows slack-jawed. "Therefore, there's little use for it aside from pleasurable stimulation following the consequences of the Permanence's blessing upon Vidyadhara's reproductive potential. Most individuals no longer make use of it during sexual activity."
"But you do...?"
"With you." Dan Heng's low voice is so sweet, his meekness over doing something this dirty unbelievably endearing.
"That's so fucking hot." Caelus wants to be encouraging, pushing aside how overwhelming it should be to be wanted in such a devoted way... For now, at least. He can freak out tomorrow.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Caelus' enthusiasm gets Dan Heng going again, his strokes animating the phone screen. "And it'd suck to waste one of my boyfriend's dicks."
Wait.
Wait wait wait wait wait.
Oh no.
Oh, shit.
Your WHAT, Caelus!?!???
Thankfully, his accidentally overly intimate choice of word to describe his relationship with Dan Heng in a way they had yet to discuss is forgotten in favor of a deep, rough exhale that was undoubtedly born of Dan Heng's own strokes and certainly not from hearing that title.
"A... Anyways. Ahem." Caelus is resolute to leave that incident in the past. "You know what else would suck. My mouth. On that cock."
Dan Heng lets out a harsh, breathless laugh, forcefully fucking his lengthier cock into his fist.
"Oh, fuck. You're so rough." Caelus watches the increasingly lewd images unfold on his screen, bringing his phone closer to his face to hear the slick sounds born from the friction. "You need to do me like that."
"You know I can't." Dan Heng huffs in protest despite how his motions get even more frantic. "I can't hurt you."
"You wouldn't. It's like what you said about the biting." Caelus pauses, wondering if he's on a streak of saying too much, but the words soon spill past his lips. "Fuck me like you want me."
Dan Heng groans between laborious breaths, nearly whispering when he responds. "More than anything."
Caelus needs to resist the temptation to hide his flustered face against his knees so he can witness the last few thrusts of Dan Heng's beautiful cock before it spills out an unholy amount of cum, his long fingers squeezing and stroking up his length as more of it keeps trickling down, soiling his hand or pooling in the creases of his slit.
Holy shit.
"There's... So much." Caelus' dumbfounded comment accompanies Dan Heng's heavy exhales. "I don't think I can swallow all that."
Dan Heng snorts despite his fresh orgasm. "You don't have to."
"But I'm so thirsty now. I could drink your whole fucking mattress."
His response earns him a change of scenery, Dan Heng switching back to his front-facing camera, his gorgeously red face greeting him with a sweet smile. "Please don't. I need to sleep at some point."
"Fine. I'll just grab a bottle of SoulGlad, then." Caelus sobs, but can't help the big grin that visits his lips. "...This was fun."
"I'm glad." Dan Heng tilts his head again a little, looking into his phone's camera with a fondness that gets Caelus blushing more than that gorgeous pair of cocks could. "I really enjoyed myself, too. Thanks for sharing your new purchase."
"My pleasure."
Right.
Maybe he ought to change out of these before going back to the Golden Hour.
Maybe.
But they kind of feel like they're his special pair of lucky spicy underpants now.
