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You know what’s fun? Decimating evil alien warships and freeing civilisations from their heartless oppressors. Adreneline. The heat of battle. Saving lives. It’s a good feeling. Dosen’t get much better.
You know what’s less fun? Having, some guy, who you actually really, really care about (don’t tell him that) jump in front of you to take a shot.
And you know what’s kinda nice? carrying this guy, in your arms, back to your lion, except he’s bleeding out and you don’t know whether to walk or run, because if you walk he might die, but if you run, he groans when ever he jolts and each time that happens your heart breaks a little more.
‘No pain no gain right buddy?’ He made a joke. Now your heart really is breaking. So you run. Because he’s hurting you.
And flying at breakneck speeds through empty space is good. The rush, adrenaline again. (that’s possibly an addiction you should have that looked at.) But there’s, this guy, laying there, still bleeding, trying to hide it from you, and just laughing – ‘such a crap pilot’ – as you skim a hunk of rock, and then wincing, and you don’t know whether to be angry or terrified.
And you’re carrying him again, through a castle door, and having him mutter under his breath ‘fucking muscles. fucking mullet’ and it is a dream, except you have 20 seconds to get him into a healing pod and power it up or else you will never be able to tease him about it later. Because he’ll be dead.
And getting him in there, and sitting down in front of him, and crying just a little, is the best fucking feeling in the world. Because you know he’ll be safe.
But waiting is hell. But then again it’s ok because he’ll be ok in the end. It just takes time. You tell yourself. But you miss his stupid stupid voice and laugh and ok fuck. You actually miss him. But then again, he isn’t flirting with every single thing that moves, which is an excellent thing. really makes your day.
after day.
after day.
after day.
And he’s waking up soon, and after the time spent in a flurry of weights and sitting and not eating as much as you should and funny looks from the others, that is a good thought.
But then when he wakes up and you run and hug him stupidly tight thinking ‘Yes! This is amazing!’ because he actually nearly died this time. and not have him hug you back. Him just, staring, at you, like you’re some sort of freak. alien. That is hell.
And then normally, normally staying on the training deck for three hours straight, and then curing up in a damp, sweaty ball, listening to crap indie music. Noramally that’s a good day. But today? today you’re just trying to forget. Forget the fact he dosen’t care about you at all.
And I suppose that on any other day, if he came to your door and said ‘hey. can we talk?’ you wouldn’t try to slam the door in his face. Not immedeatly anyways.
You’d say something sarcastic first, then tell him to go away. Because he can’t know how you really feel. Except he has a foot in the door which is fine. And he gets in, you may have let him, which is ok except he’s back to staring at you and that makes you wan’t to punch him, or scream or cry again.
Because that’s not what’s supposed to happen.
And you don’t listen, because you don’t want to hear him say it because that would be worse. but he’s getting angry, stupid, and and suddenly moves, accros the room, right in front of you and pulls the earphones and – ‘are you even listening? what are you listening too anyway? – and he is so close to you and you know you shouldn’t get closer but you want to, you want to so badly and you can see the tiny mole just above his lip and you want to you want to, you might never get another chance, he won’t ever be this close to you again, and you might as weel do it before he moves away again but what if he’s angry, and what if it goes wrong and –
and he’s kissing you.
which you didn’t expect.
and you are so fucking confused because he dosen’t care and maybe he’s being mind controlled by that alien guy from the place, but you don’t fucking care right now and you kiss him back. because you’ll never be able to do it again. and when he tries to moves away, you don’t let him, just for a moment, which makes him grin.
Fuck.
Now you’re staring at him.
And he’s grinning.
Fuck him.
‘Fuck you’
‘Well you weren’t paying any attention to me –
‘Because you were a JERK earlier!’
‘Ummmm… I was? I mean probably, I have made it may life to annoy the hell out of you. I know, I have such low standards.’
‘… Fuck you. Actually fuck you.’
‘I’m sure you’d love too.’
So you kiss him again. Just to shut him up of course. Which he didn’t expect and now he’s looking a little bit thrown. And you just bury your face in his chest and hug him ridiculously tight again, and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry and some sort of strange hiccup comes out. And he stars to laugh at you again – ‘What the hell was that?’ – so you punch him in the fucking gut. He deserves it. But it hurts you when he winces a little, and yelps, and moves away from you.
‘What was that for?!’
‘You fucking deserved it.’
‘I did not!’
‘did’
‘didn’t’
‘did’
‘didn’t’
‘did’
‘shut up!’
‘make me’
And when you tumble down on to the bed in a pile of cuddles and kisses and sleep, next to each other, curled up too close. God it feels good to sleep. That’s a good feeling.
‘Shiro said you stayed with me most’
warm breath in your ear.
‘Hmmmmmm…’
‘He said you didn’t sleep much.’
lips close to your neck.
‘Not much…’
‘Goodnight beautiful.’
'…'
and waking up with him next to you – he’s so beautiful. really, - him holding you close. arms tight around your waist, your arm around him, and your hand, moving up, over his chest, collarbone, neck, hovering over his head. Because you want to touch him, touch him more, to make sure this is real, that it’s not some sick joke or illusion. Zarkon is devious. But if you touch him. He might wake up. He might be horrified. Might. Shush brain. Watching him breathe. Watching him smile. Watching him open his eyes. Letting him kiss you, and pull you down closer next to him, and letting him whisper sweet nothing in your ear. Except they are sweet everything’s to you. That’s a good feeling. Holding him tight. Teasing him,
‘You did say I was hot.’
‘I did not! Although you are. But I didn’t say that then!’
letting him tease you and then shutting him the hell up with kiss. and the occasional punch. he’s still a bit of a dick. But you’ll kiss it all better later. That’s a good feeling. a good day.
at least until all the rest of the paladins burst in.
‘I MADE BREAKFAST GUYS!’
‘WHAT THE HELL HUNK GET OUT WE ARE BONDING!’
‘Hmmmmm? Oh. Oh yeah. Real close, very friendly bonding.’
‘PIDGE DID YOU JUST TAKE A PHOTO?!’
‘No. Absolutely not. I took a complete 3D scan of this room.’
‘PIDGE’
‘Morning team. Why are we all in keit- oh. Well. Use protection guys.’
‘Shiro I will hurt you later.’
‘You’ll try. and if you do, allura will be annoyed.’
‘…just get out.’
‘heh.’
'PIDGE! STOP TAKING PHOTO’S!’
'Quit screeching in my ear Lance!'
'AS SOON AS PIDGE STOPS TAKING - GIVE ME THE GOD DAMNED CAMERA!'
'oh and where is allura actually? Or coran. There was a problem with the gladiator yesterday.'
'Should be along soon. But seriously keith?'
'Yeah?'
'Use protection.'
'ALLURA! HELP ME! ALLURA! Don't you DARE laugh.'
'She's laughing. Oh this is too good. Pigde you got this?'
'Of course. LANCE GET OFF ME.'
'NEVER! YOU WILL BE MY MINION UNtil ok so maybe not I'll just go over there then ok?'
'ALLURA! HELP ME! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME! STOP LAUGHING!'
'You're filming this right?'
'In 3D.'
So much for cuddling.