Chapter Text
The slight fear that Jason spread behind him always made him feel a certain comfort. This brought respect, and people who respect you rarely come up with dangerous, stupid ideas about you. And while Jason could fool everyone around him, he couldn't fool himself. That's why he knew perfectly well how much he needed that security.
Maybe that's why he didn't notice when simple respect tipped the scales, when his colleagues and even friends started to get the wrong impression of him. And what's worse, he would never have thought it would bother him so much. You know, he's a crime boss, he's heard a lot and he's been able to ignore a lot. The recent rumors, however, have focused on how Red Hood is a territorial Alpha, and Jason really couldn't get over it. At first, this seemed like a good sign to him, but he quickly realized that what he considered strength in the eyes of others was actually the most common chauvinistic behavior. Those he personally despised.
“Hood doesn't let anyone get in his way, I tell you. He doesn't even let anyone into his office.”
”I heard that even his friends don't visit him at his apartment. This is a true Alpha.”
And while it all sounded awful and Jason couldn't understand how anyone could get excited about something like that, what bothered him the most was the fact that those words weren't lies. He really was sensitive about his space and belongings. He never released his pheromones. But the reason he didn't was so drastic from the rumor mill that it was almost laughable.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, Jason Tood was actually an Omega. However, that didn't matter in a world where Red Hood operated at his best, considered the most feared Alpha in Crime Alley.
Jason shouldn't be upset; after all, everything was going great. No one ever suspected a thing. His career was building, maybe even too much. Still, he didn't know if there was anyone in the world who hated Alpha assholes more than he did. And the fact that most people, even those closest to him, considered him just such a son of a bitch really spoiled his mood.
This had been bothering him for several days now.
“And then she said I could stay with her.” That sentence brought Jason back to reality. He was now sitting on the edge of the roof with Roy, during one of his breaks from patrol. He must have drifted off for a good while, considering the hotdog in his hand had already cooled. ”Of course I said I didn't want to impose.”
Oh right, Roy was in the middle of his monologue about how the owner of his tiny apartment ordered a general renovation of her part of the building, which meant Roy had to move out for about three months. Of course, Jason told him to find something else, because what does it even mean to kick someone out for so long? Roy defended himself, saying that he was happy living there and it wasn't a big deal. My ass. Jason knew it wasn't true. Roy simply couldn't afford anything else, but he doesn't like to talk about it, so Jason didn't tease him. He'd offered him help more than once, and Roy had flatly and repeatedly rejected it. Jason wasn't surprised. He probably would have reacted the same way. In such pathetic matters they seemed surprisingly similar.
"I wanted to check into a hotel because, you know, who knows? Maybe it won't take that long after all?” Jason rolled his eyes at that. He could already see Roy paying for that hotel. He'd probably have to get a job there to pay it off. "But Kori insisted’’ Wait, Kori? ,,and she sounded so sincere that I felt bad about, you know, pushing her away. Besides, she'd probably spend most of her time in space anyway. It's like a luxurious, empty apartment all to myself. So I figured, why not?” he laughed.
Jason wasn't laughing. He was starting to feel a strange anxiety, though he shouldn't have. Why would he? It was a good deal. His friend wouldn't have to overpay, he'd have good housing, and he'd be safe. Everything was great, because he would be living with Kori, their friend. Kori, who might not have a second biology due to her extraterrestrial origins, but Jason knew she had slept with Roy in the past, and who knows, maybe they still do? Maybe that was even the point?
Jason panicked.
"Why didn't you come to me with this?” he said, perhaps too accusingly. Yes, definitely, judging by Roy's expression.
"What?”
"You're my best friend. I thought you knew that.’’ Jason tried to summon up every ounce of indifference he possessed. "I'd let you crash on the couch or whatever. Just saying would be enough.”
Roy looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. "Seriously?”
"You wouldn't bother me, after all. We're not home most of the time anyway.” he shrugged. "Do I really joke so often that you have doubts?”
The silence lasted long enough that Jason regretted ever meeting each other.
"Because you know” Roy cleared his throat awkwardly. "We're both Alphas…”
"Is that a problem?”
Of course it is. Sharing space with another Alpha is problematic, let alone staying in their space for any length of time. Even Jason knew that. However. However, close ones like friends and family shouldn't have a problem with it. Right? And they were friends, after all. Did Roy think differently? Now Jason only felt more tense.
"For me? None." Roy shook his head, and something about the way he looked at Jason was sincere. Very sincere, even. "But I didn't think you'd be so... comfortable with it."
Jason frowned. "Why?”
"Man, we've been friends for so many years and I've never been to your apartment.” Well, it was true.
"There was no opportunity?" Jason replied stupidly, because what was he supposed to say to that? The whole thing was one big impulse. He hadn't thought anything through, not even whether it was a good idea.
Roy blinked and continued to stare at him. Jason knew he was looking for a lie, a deception. No wonder, Jason was acting idiotically. "Are you really serious? Wouldn't that bother you?’’ Roy finally asked. And since Jason was on the verge of falling apart, he had to become cold and logical again.
"Roy, I'm not some kind of animal with programming that wouldn't allow me to give a friend shelter. Do you really think I'm that kind of person?” he said all this with a grimace, but the truth was that deep down he really desperately needed to know the answer.
"No, I mean... I know you're secretive, Jaybird," Jason wanted to interrupt, indignant. "I know you're sensitive about what's yours," he clarified, and Jason closed his mouth. He thought for a moment.
"But you're my friend." Roy looked at him with something he couldn't quite decipher. And the knowledge that he would refuse him, that he would reject him, left something cruel in Jason. "Unless you really prefer to stay with Kori." he summoned the last of his arrogance and rolled his eyes. He wanted to give Roy a way out. Jason would rather Roy chose Kori because he preferred her than reject Jason because he didn't want him at all. "That was pretty predictable, actually. Forget I said anything."
"No," Roy blurted out, and Jason's heart stuttered at how a little too quick the denial had been. Roy, apparently noticing this as well, focused his gaze on the panorama and rubbed his neck. "I mean, sure, Kori's great."
"Sure.”
"But not as great as you, you know that, right?” This confession surprised Jason so much that he didn't know what to do. "You're my best friend too, Jaybird.” Jason really had to try not to throw himself off the roof under the influence of that damn smile. "Of course, I'd love to stay with you. I’ll always choose you. If, if that's okay with you."
Yeah, maybe jumping wouldn't be such a bad idea.
___________
Roy was right. Jason didn't think this through. Jason was stupid. What the hell did he do?
As soon as they finished eating and were about to head back out on patrol, Jason realized Roy would probably want to drop by as soon as they were done. After all, the idiot was temporarily homeless, which was a disaster, because Jason's apartment was in no condition to welcome anyone.
So he came up with some lame excuse about needing to check out another part of town. Roy, of course, offered to join him, which led to more lies. Ultimately, Jason said it would be quicker if they split up.
"Yeah, right. Sure." Roy didn't sound convinced. He seemed withdrawn in a way that Jason rarely saw. And didn't want to see.
Then he realized Roy had most likely thought they'd go home together. And then Jason started acting strangely. Which probably made Roy question the certainty of it all over again. Roy was unsure.
"Do you know how to get to my place?" he asked. Roy shook his head. Right. "Will you find it if I send you the address, or…"
“I'll make it. I can do it, sure.”
"Okay," he nodded. Roy's confidence was returning, but he was still a little distant. "I should be done in an hour. I'll wait for you, okay?"
And so they parted. Jason had never driven so fast to his own apartment. The first thing he did was throw open all the windows. His helmet was excellent at filtering pheromones and preventing his own from being released. He also wore pheromone blockers in case the helmet was removed. In short, he was unavailable outside. This wasn't simply a need to conceal his Omega nature, but rather to prevent anyone, especially an unwanted person, from remembering or associating his scent. Just simple precautions.To avoid going completely crazy, he kept his apartment free of blockers. Consequently, the entire space undoubtedly smelled of him. At one point, he even considered changing the sheets, but decided that would be overkill; after all, he had to take care of his own comfort.
Jason didn't know much about his nature, himself in general, or the laws governing biology. He died shortly after his presentation. He had only one first heat, which he spent nestled next to Bruce, enjoying the comfort of family. He was just a puppy. When he came back to life, his body continued to develop for a time, though his mind had stalled. Honestly, he didn't know much about what was happening to him at that moment. His memories became clear only after emerging from the pit. His body, however, was so exhausted by then that any "omega traits” simply disappeared. He focused on simply surviving. No one cared about his comfort, his sense of security. And he himself had neither the time, the ability, nor even the knowledge to do so. He knew that the days when Talia was around were better, but still only marginally. His heats didn't return for a long time before he reconciled with the Bats. He was terrified then, because he still didn't know anything, because no one had taught him, no one had explained anything to him, and the thought that his body was beginning to feel good, that bonds were beginning to form, only terrified him more. They were irregular to the point of absurdity and terribly infrequent, but with time, they got better. He knew his body was healing. He knew he should be happy. Yet he hadn't delved deeply into his own nature; he hadn't even had the chance, because he was either alone or suppressed by blockers in every possible way.
Jason just realized he'd agreed to this disruption in his space, and he had no idea how he'd react. Yes, there was no way he was going to accommodate Roy in his own bedroom. Roy would sleep on the couch anyway, and Jason would set clear boundaries, and everything would be fine.
Leaving the bedroom, Jason closed the door and went to take a bath. Only when he ripped off the blockers from around his neck he realize he'd have to put them back on when he got out of the shower. It wasn't even that he was trying to hide his nature from Roy. Honestly, he'd never even called himself an Alpha. He simply didn't object when others did because he thought it was easier.
“People respect alphas more,” Talia once told him.
So the fact that they think I'm one must have been based on respect, right?
He was doing it more for himself than for Roy. Of course, he didn't want his friend to feel uncomfortable sharing space with him, but if his hormones weren't affecting Roy, then Roy wouldn't be affecting Jason either, right? It would be like every patrol, every meeting; they'd just be in his apartment now. Nothing to worry about.
There was one thing Jason hadn't thought through, however.
Just because he'd decided to leave the blockers on didn't mean Roy would do the same. He wore them on missions for the same safety reasons, and there were few occasions when Jason could smell him. Jason barely recognized his friend's scent. He heard a knock. Yes, that was it. He opened the door, and before his eyes stood Roy Harper in civilian clothes, his blocker tape peeling away in full view, and only a single bag slung over his shoulder.
"Hey," Roy said, and it sounded almost awkward. Jason continued to scan him, which Roy clearly misinterpreted. "I changed to avoid drawing attention, but I'll still need a shower and..." God, was he really explaining his appearance? Well, of course, you dumbly stare, you weirdo.
"I don't care, Harper." Jason let him in.
He didn't really know how much of the scent he'd managed to get rid of, but he knew the answer as soon as Roy froze right after Jason slammed the door behind him.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"No” Did Roy just stutter? "It smells here..."
"You just walked in and you're already criticizing my house, Harper?"
"No." They moved into the living room. "I just really thought you didn't let anyone into your space." Jason tilted his head in confusion, narrowing his eyes. "It smells like… Omega here."
“And?”
"Nothing, man, I'm not judging. I really appreciate you letting me in, and… are you still okay?"
"So far, the only person who seems uncomfortable is you," Jason pointed out.
"Am I just surprised? God." He looked around, trying hard to change the subject. "This place is very much your style." Jason wasn't sure what that meant, but it didn't sound like an insult, so he left it unsaid.
"This is your new bed," Jason pointed to the couch. "You see the kitchen. The bathroom is the first door, and the second one is my bedroom. You're not going in there." He felt he had to emphasize this. He wanted to be clear.
"Of course."
"Okay. I'll make food, I haven't eaten yet. You go wash up, the bathroom has everything you need." Jason passed Roy on his way to the kitchen. He expected his friend to leave immediately. But he didn't. "Anything else?"
"Do you always wear blockers at home?" Roy asked, which was actually a good question.
"Well, no. Never really."
"Oh. Right." Whatever he understood, Jason just knew he'd misunderstood. "Understood, of course, I'll leave mine too and..."
"Roy," Jason interrupted. "It's okay. I'm not doing this for you. I'll take them off eventually, but it's just… it's been a while since I shared space with anyone. I've been alone for… a long time." Okay, that was pathetic. Why was he even explaining himself? Because you care, reason dictated. "You're not bothering me, I'm taking it slow because I'm not sure how I’ll react." Jason saw Roy already opening his mouth. "And it has no bearing on you being an Alpha." He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "In my current state, I'd probably react badly even to an Omega. It's my own habit system. You do your thing."
Roy was silent for a terrifyingly long time.
"I should have known what this meant to you." Jason watched Roy's gaze shift back to his bag, as if he were about to grab it and run. "Sorry for the trouble, I'll find something else…"
"Roy. Calm down. You were actually doing me a favor."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," he sighed. Jason hated to be so open about it, but Roy was all he had, and he didn't want to screw it up. He leaned his hip against the counter. "You were partly right, I'm a loner. I'm also possessive of my space. It's just," he tried to find words that wouldn't immediately make him out to be a victim, but failed miserably, "you know, maybe not entirely by choice? Maybe I just assumed… damn. What you said, or rather what you didn't say, was that you, my best friend, wasn't able to come to me directly for help when he was on the street…"
"It's not like that…"
"Don't interrupt me when I have a moment of honesty." Roy snapped his mouth shut. "I was alone most of the time because I had no choice. Having you around made me realize maybe I do have a choice? And what kind of friends are we if I couldn't stand you sleeping on my couch? I know it's a lot. I am a lot, but I want to try. And I feel, I know it will be good. It will be good for me. I just ask you not to be put off by my pace, because it will probably be very, very slow.”
Jason finally looked up, not even registering that he'd been looking anywhere but at Roy until his eyes met the green. Roy looked agitated? Maybe. Well, he'd shut up, and that idiot was rarely at a loss for words.
"That's not true." Roy finally said.
"What?"
"You're not much. You know that, right?" Did Jason say that? He didn't even remember it. "And if you're sure."
"I am."
"Then I'm honored you decided to try it with me."
It was all so sappy, so gentle. Jason knew his tolerance was running thin.
"Wonderful. Now get in the shower. If you want to stay here, there are rules, and the first is a strict no-dirty policy, and after a few hours of building-hopping, you're nothing else."
Roy just smiled at him.
"Sure, boss. You’re in charge here."
“Just so you know.”
God.
___________
When Roy returned from the bathroom, clean and changed, his hair wet and loose in his face, Jason was finishing seasoning the pasta.
"Hey Jaybird, what kind of laundry detergent are you using?" Jason turned over his shoulder to look at him, and it was a mistake. He quickly returned his attention to the pan. "I don't know. Why?"
"It smells really good." Roy rubbed his hair with the towel again before placing it over his face and finally letting it fall over his shoulders.
"Thanks? I guess. You can sit down, I'm almost done."
"Is it for me too?" Roy's obvious surprise confused Jason.
"Have you eaten yet?"
"Nope, I immediately ran to you." Jason frowned.
"Then why are you asking stupid questions?"
Roy laughed, but Jason sensed something nervous in it, and a second later, he understood the reason for it. Jason felt his presence behind him. Roy was approaching. And Jason knew this because he didn't so much hear him as… Jason turned off the gas and turned to face Roy. Roy was surprised at his sudden movement, but didn't even flinch. Jason's gaze instantly fell on Roy's bare neck. He felt everything, it felt like the first time, though he must have felt Roy before, right? Sure Roy used blockers on a mission same as Jason, but wasn’t that strict as him.
Jason took a step forward, expecting Roy to step back, but he didn't. There was still distance between them, but now Jason felt it clearly. And oh, there it was. This was everything he hadn't expected to feel.
"And how is it? If it's too much, I can..."
"It's nicer than I expected," Jason interjected.
Roy's eyebrows shot up.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What did you expect?"
Something violent, taking up my space, suffocating, controlling, dominating, unpleasant, nauseating, all-encompassing, binding. Jason wanted to say.
"I thought you'd stink," he snorted. "But I kind of like it."
"You like it?"
"Mhm," Jason nodded and went back to his pasta. "Is that weird?" he asked softly, and immediatly after saying it he realized his mistake. Maybe he'd opened up to Roy like he had to no one else, but he didn't want him to find out how incompetent Jason was, how broke, he just didn't. Asking such a stupid question was idiotic.
"No," but Roy thankfully didn't seem to notice anything suspicious. "I'm glad it doesn't bother you. It'll make things easier for us." Jason muttered again. "Because you're not lying?"
Jason shoved a bowl of pasta into Roy's chest, glaring at him.
"Why would I?"
Roy, however, seemed to forget everything as soon as he looked at the meal he already held. Jason grabbed his own bowl and sat down on the counter. He had a table, but rarely really used it. Jason would have sat down at it when Roy did, but his friend also didn't seem to want to leave their small space, just leaned against the counter across Jason.
"I never would have guessed you were such a good hostess, Jaybird." Jason was sure it was meant as a joke, but the tone in the sentence didn't quite fit.
"If pasta with three-ingredient sauce excites you so much," he muttered between bites, "you should raise your standards." Roy hadn't tried it yet; he was still staring at the bowl. Why hadn't he? Was there anything he didn't like? Jason didn't think so. He thought he knew Roy well, but if…
Jason had no idea where this unfamiliar tension was coming from. This anxious wait for Roy to try it, for him to tell him if he liked it. Jason must have been losing his mind, or simply tired and therefore oversensitive. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest when Roy finally picked up that damn fork, and immediately afterward, Jason heard a long mutter.
“Jaybird, this is delicious.”
“It's just pasta.”
“But delicious pasta.”
“Don't talk with full mouth.”
“But I want you to know.”
Jason didn't know how to continue this conversation. He wasn't used to praise, he didn't know how to handle it. This was different from employee approval or commanding respect from other criminals. Their opinions never truly mattered. But this was Roy. Roy mattered. And Jason didn't know how to handle it. So he stuffed a large portion of pasta into his mouth, renewing any further discussion on the subject. Roy ate it all and then some, and Jason was furious because it made him so happy, and what made it even worse was that now he clearly knew when Roy was happy, and he knew he was now. Jason fed him, and now Roy was happy. It was all his doing.
They brushed their teeth together; it was such a strange, alien experience. Oddly intimate, it made Jason question his own sanity. They were both exhausted, so afterward, they decided to go to bed. Jason handed Roy pillows and blankets, and couldn't help but notice the older man snuggling into them. Roy seemed unsure of what he was doing, so Jason ignored him, but something inside him rejoiced at the thought that Roy liked his things, that Jason could bring him comfort.
They said goodnight, and as soon as Jason entered his bedroom and turned the key, the first thing he did was take off those damned blockers, and as soon as he did, oh my god. His scent had always seemed sweet to him, sweet for someone who looked like Jason, heavy, unpleasant, and yet now it practically oozed with sweetness. Was that a good thing? Was that a bad thing? No, probably not. Roy's scent grew sweeter when he ate, and he smiled then too; it had to be a sign of happiness.
Was Jason... was Jason happy now? Yes, probably. He sighed, went to the window and opened it wide, sat on the windowsill and lit a cigarette. His thoughts drifted back to dinner. To that deep, musky scent that, over time, seemed to envelop him. It was nice. Really.
And if so, Jason wondered how much longer he had left before everything went to hell.