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<INTERVIEW LOCATION>
Rosetta was not expecting the email she got yesterday. Never. Not in her wildest dreams did she think she would get contacted by Shane Hollanders management.
So she did what any sane fangirl would do; she screamed, called her husband, who was asleep upstairs, screamed with him some more, then promptly went to work. She had a vague idea from the initial email on what they wanted from her.
An Interview, her first.
The thing is, Rosetta is probably one of the biggest fan channels in sports. Well the biggest YouTube spots channel that had originally kick started the fandoms of two particular hockey players.
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov.
It had all started pretty innocent, given how she had started the page the day she saw them during the televised broadcast of their draft.
She was enamored, by the two. She didn’t ship them but per se, her mind had its own ideas sometimes. Soon after she started a blog, something simple so she could fangirl in peace.
Her brother, an extreme hockey fan, had been confused by her sudden interest in the sport since she had never been interested in any sports. The power of fandom, the hold it had and still has its hold on her.
Her block had then grown into a My Space, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube account. Naturally. During university, she had done a few semesters of classes not related to her biology degree simply because she could.
Rosetta’s focus on hockey, more like her obsession with Shane and Ilya, was laser focused. Her passion for the sport had grown into an appreciation for athletes and her boyfriend, now husband, was a part of it. She used her biological know-how to help with his workouts and later her focus diverted into the sports education department.
All in all, fangirling took over her life.
Her YouTube channel soon became a go-to among sports fans. Of course her obsession with Shane and Ilya was still apparent but she toned it down to appropriate levels as she also focused on analysis and other players.
Her brother was a frequent contributor and guest as a professional trainer and nutritionist. Their relationship had never been bad growing up. But sports soon became their common ground, while he was obsessed with certain plays she was losing it over Shane form.
All that being said, when she saw Shane and Ilya, with their respective teams. Literally just their managers and Shane’s mom, who Rosetta had exchanged the most emails with.
“Hi. Hello!” Rosetta restrained herself from all out embarrassing herself in front of her idols.
“Nice to meet you.” Shane said as he took her hand. Don’t pass out, don't pass out.
Ilya nodded with his greetings, offering a smile and a, “Hello.” Do not scream do. Not. Scream.
A few more greetings later they were sitting in front of four separate cameras.
“Okay!” She rubbed her thighs, she was nervous. “So there are two ways we can do this. Regular interview, straight to the point, we talk about your careers and accomplishments. Go over everything, to be as clear as possible. Then we talk about the relationship, the trials and how it started—the works.”
They nodded
“Or we can gossip.” They looked confused. Rosetta heard voices murmur off to the side. Thankfully they didn’t try to stop her from going on.
“Look I’m not gonna lie, I am a huge fan of both of you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or do anything that makes you upset. But the media and sports fans in general have a lot to say, most of it’s nonsense. But there are valid questions being asked. As a fan, I love and support you, as a fan I want the real story. Not some media scrubbed exposé.”
== Shane’s POV ==
“—not some media scrubbed exposé.”
Shane couldn’t help but smile as Rosa gave them a pointed look, more at the space between them. He turned to look at Ilya and could see he was still confused on the gossip part.
“What you mean by Gossip?” Ilya asked.
“Like a sleep over we talk…it’s not linear, you choose where we start. Very informal. You don’t have to hide from anyone because this is a safe place. If you say or do something you prefer not to air I will gladly edit it out.”
He could feel it too, the room itself was very normal, there was no massive set up. The only thing out of the ordinary were the cameras. His mom was off to the side smiling.
“Okay, I like that.” Shane reached for Ilya's hand and intertwined their fingers.
“Yes, it’s good.” Ilya said as he stared down at their hands. It was the first time they had done this in front of a camera.
“Okay! Great! So I’m going to start.”
[Video starts] the camera is centered on Rosetta’s face.
RR: Hello nosy people on the internet and sports fans. This is Rosetta Rose and no, the thumb nail is not a hoax. When I first got the email for this opportunity I screamed. Full fan girl moment with jumping in place and broken glass. The whole nine yards. [she flushed]
RR: This is a dream come true, but [she raises her hand] before I introduce my guests I will state a few facts about the two.
RR: Ilya Rozonov number one draft pick of circuit 2009, an aggressive player and the bane of all his opponents on the ice. His career has been a constant success as he has won several awards including Most Valuable Player and an all-star regular. Ilya rozanov!
[The camera zooms in on Ilya’s face he smiled]
IR: Hello nosy people.
[he gave a salacious grin]
RR: Nice to meet you Ilya.
[The camera caught her blushing even more.]
RR: Next, is draft pick number two circuit 2009. A player known for his level-headedness and on-ice IQ. A career full of accomplishments not limited to MVPs and cosmopolitans number one voted MHL’s hottest man. Shane Hollander!
SH: it’s great to be here.
[his face is red as Ilya hugs the man tighter to his side with a laugh.]
RR: Thank you both for being here. It is an honor and frankly I was a bit scared to accept. But I figured there was a reason you chose my platform as your first interview.
SH: It is a bit unconventional isn’t it?
[shane smiled as the camera focused on the duo]
IR: It is no brainer, you are fan we want to talk to fans.
[Ilya smiled and the camera switched to Rosetta who was beaming.]
RR: Well it is an honor again. I know the circumstances leave a lot to be desired but we will get to that later. I want to talk about you, your story as you lived it. How was it to go into this industry the way you both did? The forced narrative of it all.
[both men grinned at Rosetta]
IR: It was easy, I am best hockey player in league. Of course I become famous.
SH: Ilya…
[Shane knocks their shoulders together.]
IR: It was crazy, thinking about it now. But living it was a whole different story. Taking it one step at a time.
IR: Boring answer Shane, all his answers will be boring.
[Ilya kissed the side of Shane’s head.]
IR: Was a lot of fun, I like challenges, I like being number one. Shane is good if he is boring.
SH: I am not boring!
IR: is not bad, boring is good.
SH: ignore him, but back to your question. The media had almost immediately latched on to the rivalry angle. But that is not to say we didn’t encourage it.
IR: Yes. Rivalry is good foreplay.
SH: Ilya!
[Shane goes red as everyone laughs]
SH: okay! It was a little bit like that but we are professionals. Ilya and I never let anything that happened between us affect us on the ice too much.
RR: I’m sure it was a challenge, even if you weren't together, Ilya is well known for being a menace on the ice.
IR: Is true.
SH: Ilya knows how to get under peoples skin, no bad blood obviously but since we were together, face offs were a trial.
RR: Let’s pivot to your careers as a whole, as I said in my introductory statement, I said you were number one and two respectively. The media was all gung-ho about the rivalry. Was there ever any bad blood between you two?
IR: No, I never thought of Shane as the enemy. As media like to say. But he is good player, better than many, a challenge I like to take.
[Shane looks introspective as he gathers his thoughts, his finger idly rubbing circles on Ilya’s wrist.]
SH: I think if I hadn’t introduced myself in Saskatchewan things would have been different. The media would have not been…too far off the mark. I guess it’s all a matter of perspective, I had already met Ilya and yes he was an asshole but not in the way the media was portraying him. If I didn’t have that initial impression I doubt we would have gotten together as fast as we did.
[Ilya looks at Shane, and nods.]
IR: Me, I know we would have been together. I see no other person for me. It would have been longer. Yes. But it would still be Shane.
RR: That’s… wonderful. I see how much you care for each other. I know, with traveling from city to city for games. Things must have been hard. How did you manage to find the time to be together?
[Shane looks pointedly at Ilya before answering.]
SH: Texting…phone calls. Nothing beats playing in the same city, but that is not always the case. Some years we went months without seeing each other.
IR: Is like reward. The longer we stay in the ranking… more we see of each other. More games together. Being on same ice is like fire inside. I want to beat him. Yes. At same time, I want to play more. Is fun.
SH: Yeah, being in the same city is…we are better players against each other. I don’t want to play badly against him. I would rather do anything else then lose a game against him.
[shane laughs and Ilya nods next to him.]
RR: I can’t even imagine…
[Rosetta looks at the cards in her hands and frowns.]
RR: I want to ask… and you can not answer. I would understand. But I feel like I have to. Was that ever a factor? People online are speculating and making all sorts of accusations about the games you play against each other; did you ever throw a game?
[The room is silent as Ilya and Shane share a loaded look. Off screen you could hear murmuring. Rose’s face twisted in guilt.]
IR: No
[He shakes his head, frustrated.]
IR: It makes me sad when people think this.
SH: It's insulting. Ilya and I have been on opposing sides our entire careers. We have had countless matches where we’ve played our best. No one suspected anything then. Why now? Now that we have been outed.
[shane rubbed at his brow]
SH: You know I looked it up before.
RR: looked up what?
SH: Our highlight reels, every video compilation of us either comparing us or just showing our best goals, to see if there was anything that could be mistaken as either one of us throwing a game. I made a list—
[Ilya lets out a laugh. shane grins at him]
IR: Shane always makes lists. [fondly]
SH: Shut it…I made a list. I tallied every highlight reel of either of us, throughout our careers, and you want to know what I discovered?
IR: what did you see?
SH: us—
IR: —No! You see us when watching our reels!
[Rosetta laughs as Shane shoves Ilya for his sarcastic response]
SH: Fuck you. More than 60% of our highlights are from matches we played against each other.
RR: Are you serious?!
[Rosetta looked shocked, so did Ilya.]
RR: I know there’s a lot, but still, saying that more than half is solely from Boston Vs. Montreal. Is insane. you play 100 matches alone in a year just to reach the Cup!
SH: I know but it’s true.
RR: That's hundreds of matches! And you both get into the playoffs pretty consistently. That's over 700 games over your 11 year career!!
[That makes both men blink. Taken off guard when it was put like that. They looked at each other before shrugging.]
IR: Because we play harder. We try to out perform. Make better goal. Pretty pass. Who can be better.
SH: yeah—we do that each match.
[Rosetta rubs her face with her hands. She looks up and smirks.]
RR: That may be why those matches are so much fun to watch.
[Rosetta leans back; pulling her knees up and tucking her feet under her into her chair, cards forgotten and abandoned on the floor.]
RR: There is no use dancing around the fact that before I became a fan of you guys I had little hockey know-how. I’m not a violent person and, yes, I get that the game itself is brutal. I know most of the hockey audience tune in because of all the brawls and high stake situations. At least from my perspective that’s what it is. I never felt drawn to other teams, I just thought I was extremely biased because my two favorite players were on the screen together.
IR: Could be why. You are fan. Of course I make you like hockey.
[Everyone Laughs, Ilya grins and Shane nods sagely.]
RR: So you say you play harder—Better, even, against each other. What happens when neither of you are performing at your best?
IR: ah, when we fight you mean. Yes. its hard to play when your head is messy. But that is for everyone. Not just hockey.
SH: It's not always because we fight. Sometimes people forget that for athletes a game is work. It is our job. I am lucky that my job is doing what I love: hockey, but I’m also a person that gets tired and has moments where I seriously don’t want to clock in. Especially after a tough game. Or a series of tough games where your head is simply too tired to process emotions correctly. Some turn to outside sources to make it easier.
IR: There is expectation to perform. When you reach the level we have, we don’t have luxury to be sad. Is hard to find balance between being happy your life is going well but career is not. Or when your career is going great but in life you are not okay. Is very hard to do.
[Rosetta nods in agreement, she smiles softy as the camera catches the two intertwining their fingers.]
RR: That does sound complicated, the duality would cause anyone to snap, not to mention that you are both athletes in a tough league, where any game can essentially hospitalize you at any moment. Playing at the highest level is undoubtedly physically demanding, but mentally there is that strain. How do either navigate through that stress?
[both men take deep breaths. Their gazes steady as they look down at their hands.]
SH: I can go the sappy route and say family. My parents were there the whole time. Supporting and loving me, even when I wasn’t feeling up to it. Ilya has become a support I rely on. He gets it, the stress. He is always there to pull me out of my own head…I have a tendency to want control, but in this field you can’t control everything so I narrow it to myself. It’s why I have routines and a diet. But Ilya has been a big help in saving me from myself.
IR: He is hard on himself but what I did was no better. I liked parties and I liked to fuck my way out of situations. This was early in my career because it was—easy fix. It worked but is —is more like putting a glass box in a room of blunt objects. This is how my therapist put it. I go to therapy now, which is better. For me…and him.
[The two athletes seemed vulnerable. Indistinguishable from their public personas. They let the silence sit for a moment and there is a cut as the camera shifts to show a red eyed Rosetta.]
RR: mental health is something that is not often discussed, especially within male dominated spaces. Whether you are young or old, male or female, everyone has a breaking point. If you are in a place where you feel like you are a danger to yourself, you are not alone, call the Irena suicide prevention hotline at 1800-555-1221. For anyone who wants to help, you can donate to the Irena foundation website linked in the description below, the donation limit is a little as your countries lowest currency amount.
[the screen shows the phone number and website. And cuts back to Rosetta.]
RR: Tell me about the foundation. How did it come about?
SH: We have a deep connection to the foundation mission. It’s an important stance to have, especially with our own mental health issues. Not everyone has the support necessary to make good decisions. We wanted to support those. That life is always worth living even if it is doing its damndest to tear you down. I have that support and sometimes it’s not enough, and it’s okay to admit that. The foundation supports call centers and facilities equipped to help people who need that support.
IR: The foundation is really Shane’s love child. I don’t do lists as good as him. He named the foundation after my mother who was very sad and— it is a very important thing to me. I have depression and am working hard to make sure it does not control my life. I want to live with Shane, I want to love Shane. Is easy to let my head be messy and hard to handle. Shane is there and lets me know I am not alone. I can be sad and lonely but I will be sad and lonely with Shane. It is not ideal, but it’s okay.
RR: Thank you for sharing that. I have admiration for you both as athletes and as humans. Is it alright to ask if there is something either of you do that you know will help you in that situation?
[They smile.]
IR: Being quiet, getting everything that needs to be done. No need to make things harder. We try to do small things that will make us smile. Breakfast in bed. Going ice skating on lake. Cooking. Watching movies, all of this together.
SH: Being together helps. I love it when we do things together. Spending time together is our safe space. We had a long span of where we would go weeks without talking to each other, either because of stubbornness or our jobs. But now we are close and are together more. It’s like we are trying to make up for all the moments we missed on the road.
IR: Yes. lots to make up for.
[Ilya looks at the camera with a suggestive grin, causing Shane to gawp and hit Ilya's shoulder.]
IR: Look he hurt me! Ah! In pain!
SH: You deserved it.
RR: Let's talk about your life as celebrities. It’s not a stretch to say your entire career has been a success. I would attribute your Rivalry played an important role. How was it becoming a household name in the sports world? Was it simply taking it one step at a time like you say earlier?
SH: Yes and no. It’s not like we are singers or movie stars, that is generally what you think of when you hear the word celebrities. That level is just not in the cards. It is simple, in that everyone has to take everything a day at a time. But we have kids that look up to us. Kids who want to become professional hockey players. To walk that line is daunting. I often catch myself thinking of myself in two ways; me, the person I am with my parents and in my safe spaces, and me, on the ice in front of reporters and in public. And those lines cross all the time.
IR: Shane is not a good boy. He has filter with lots of levels. I don’t. I don’t care what people say about me. I don’t share everything but I do not hide. Is too much energy to spend on thinking about what I say, English is hard enough. In the beginning I was little shit. I wanted to make Shane aware of me. It was like…need. I needed Shane to look at me.
[Ilya gazes at Shane adoringly as the man himself blushed.]
SH: I know we fed the rivalry narrative but we had no intention to develop feelings for each other. It was simply a distraction…things changed fast. Before I knew it I was falling in love. I didn’t even know I was gay. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. That I was gay.
IR: I like both, I don’t have preference. Soon I did. Shane only. Was all I could think of, no one else made it feel so easy. I have had many lovers, some who I was with multiple times. Still, I kept thinking of the freckles of this one person with weak backhand.
SH: oh, thanks for that. So romantic. Love you too.
[Shane smiled as his eyes tear up. Rosetta was grinning wide.]
RR: It's beautiful when things change like that. It is obvious that your love is strong. I want to thank you again, for feeling that my platform was worthy enough for you to be vulnerable on. I am not sure how people will react to this but I do know fans, and we, your fans will support and love you. If I have to I will get on every social media platform and fight the haters one by one, because you deserve to be happy.
[Shane’s eyes swell as he and Ilya look at Rossetta whose face was also tearing up.]
RR: I know there is a lot of history and circumstance that was glanced over. I tried to keep my questions from delving too deep into your personal life. Even though, as a fan, I want to know more but unless you impart that information yourself I have no right to ask more of you.
[Rose turns and the screen cuts to a full screen of her sitting on the couch.]
RR: This is directed towards the audience more than the guests. Shane and Ilya are people, they deserve respect and recognition for their actions on and off the Ice. They are not punching bags, they have a right to love whoever they want to love and we have no right to tell them otherwise because we are strangers. We can love and support them as much as we want but remember they don’t know your names or faces. That is all we will ever be. Fans. And to people who think they can get away with saying anything about them simply because they don’t know who you are, fans have a way of figuring it out. And I will find you. I will find every comment that constitutes as hate speech and send it to their lawyers. You have been warned.
[The camera cuts again to a surprised looking Shane and Ilya. Tears nowhere to be found. Ilya laughs and grins at Rosetta as her words sink in.]
IR: You are very scary woman.
[Credits roll on the screen as the audio cut out and words are exchanged. The warning Rosetta ended the video with flashes on the screen. Shane and Ilya stand from the couch. Rosetta does the same and they shake hands. Someone comes into the screen from behind the camera, their face is blurred, they hug Shane and kiss Ilya’s cheek.]
[The Irena foundations information flashes on the screen and fades to black.]
[end]