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It was always the same
They never said anything
Just violence, over and over again...
Kris was known for not being able to show their emotions properly, they were always depicted as someone who is violent and weird and they never explained anyone why they were. That art threapy wasn't for nothing for sure. And you know that they like to play the piano maybe not infront of others but it helped them to express themselves in a way. You think that maybe the same goes for you as well.
You know that kris likes to hit you, they wrecked you daily, maybe it also hurt them (who knows) but they seemed to be enjoying to torture you in a way. Hitting you seemed like a way to express themselves besides it was one of the only ways they interacted with you. If they liked piano and art why wouldn't they also like you in a way? You know that kris would never be able to hit anyone else beside you, you know that they never did either. So you couldn't help but to feel special in a way. Maybe it was their special way of saying "i love you" and maybe it was their way of kissing you because it always felt like that.
Feeling of being hit... That violence hurt you so good you can't explain in a meaningful way. That metal cage felt like it was brought there with love in their mind just for you. You liked the feeling of vulnerability a lot. Being vulnerable towards kris made you feel electrified in a way.. so.. because of that, you will keep misbehaving, you will keep being naughty just to anger them. You were theirs. You were their soul. So they have the right to do whatever they want to you.
You could've die right where you are whenever you felt their presence. Because loving them was never enough. You just wanted all of it, all of that violence.