Work Text:
You couldn’t sleep. Sleep never came easy for hunters and the walls of the bunker ate you up on nights like this.
The library was silent and peaceful while you indulged in the bad habit of smoking a watermelon flavored cigarette. The quiet drags were interrupted by that familiar and warm voice. “Why are you here?” Sam asked, approaching the long table you sat.
“Can’t sleep” You answered, as he looked a little disgusted at the cigarette that rested between your fingers. He hated that sleepless and anxious habit of yours. “ You could’ve woke me up,” He sat down beside you on another wheeled chair.
“I don’t like bothering you. You know that,” You said with a light chuckle, his face was serious, unwavering. He had said many, many, times you could wake him up when you couldn’t sleep, just like he did you sometimes. Seek each other’s comfort was something the two of you struggled with, but tonight was your turn to be difficult. “You bother me much more when you smoke this shit.” Sam gently took the smoke from your hand and put it out on the ashtray in front of you, you didn’t protest.
“I’m sorry…” Your voice was low and afraid of some sort of angry reaction, even if Sam would never ever raise his voice at you, even the slightless. “I know it’s hard, but you have me.” He reached out and touched your right cheek with a gentle caress. “What’s on your mind?” He asked.
What wasn’t on your mind? All the hunts, all the monsters, all the close calls, it was a lot and some nights were more difficult than others. “ Just hunting. It’s hard.” Sam sighed and hugged you, knowing what you meant. He tucked your head under his chin and his strong arms held you tight. “But we’re both here, that’s what matters,” He whispered against your hair. You let out a bitter chuckle “ Until when?” You could feel his uncertainty, he thought about that too, the risks and dangers, but to him, you being here was a win, each day you two survived was a small win to celebrate. Each night he got to hold you, even when you were anxiously smoking those stupid watermelon cigarettes, it was a win. “Until forever” He breathed a little deeper than usual.
“I know it’s hard. I feel it too, but you don’t have to fight it alone,” He said. You could feel yourself melt in his embrace, the warmth and gentleness of it washing away the insecurities for a bit. “I just hate that besides all of it, you have to deal with me” You buried your face against Sam’s chest, as if that would keep you from the sensitive confession.
He smiled, not that you could see with your face buried deep in his chest, but he did, not that he found that funny, just adorable that he felt the same. The same worry about bothering you, the same feeling he wasn’t worthy of your love.
How could you feel that? You were amazing, in every single way and you could possibly be. He just couldn’t understand why you were insecure about relying on him, but he was just as afraid as you. Trauma was one of the things that bound you in the first place.
“You are never going to be ‘something else to bother me’, never” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you sighed. His deep voice calmed your nerves, made you relax in that warm tone and warmer arms. “You’re okay with being awake until I fall asleep?” You asked, shyly.
“Of course, every time you need it, just ask. I hate waking up to an empty bed.” He breathed your scent deeply, holding you thigh and you felt safe. He was your safe space, even when you forgot, he made sure to remind you of it, not just on that night, but every other.
Nights after that came with gentle hugs and kisses, reassuring words and a lot of tenderness. That was who he was, the gentle prince that needed just as much love and reassurance as you. You made sure to give it to him in every word, every touch and every second you spend with the amazing man you had the luck to call your boyfriend.
Sam Winchester was the most graceful being in existence and you loved that all that grace and devotion was aimed at you. To make sure that your nightmares weren’t near, to make sure that a loveless life was never one you’d live. Him being there was all you needed and he was always there, even when the urge to smoke a watermelon cigarette came, he was there to hold you and show that his love was better than any nicotine trip you could ever ask for.