Chapter Text
Chapter One: It’s a Bad Idea
“Detective, I know what you’re thinking and I’m telling you, as your boss, it’s a bad idea.” Lt. Soto said. Her response was an answer to the indecision in Adam Karadec’s eyes.
Glancing pointedly at her most loyal detective, she waited to see what – if any – reaction he would have to her observation. She knew there was a real possibility her unsolicited advice to his internal debate could break his heart further, and her friend may never know true peace. However, she also feared the fall out if he jumped blindly into the unknown. The outcome would not only destroy her friend, but her squad.
Unable to make eye contact, Detective Karadec shuffled his feet, analyzing the movement as if it needed deep scrutiny, rather than being an anxious tick. She watched his hands stuff themselves into his pockets, observed the slight shake of his own head, and heard the clearing of his throat. She wasn’t expecting him to give credence to her concern.
“And what if…” he began, clearing his throat again, still unwilling to make eye contact, “Selena, what if I’m asking you as a friend?” he countered, in a tone of voice so small she could’ve imagined him speaking at all.
It was clear this meant more to him than she was aware of. The real issue now was that she had no idea how her consultant would react. Lt. Soto weighed her words carefully and perhaps a beat too long, because eventually Karadec looked up making eye contact.
“Then...” she began, inhaling a deep breath and releasing it slowly. This was the time when she had to be honest. Maybe everything wouldn’t fall apart, maybe every professional instinct screaming inside her right now was wrong. But she knew after all these years together, they had become friends and therefore she knew what she would say next.
“Then", she continued, “I’d ask you what the hell you’re still doing here.”
A small smirk touched his mouth, inching almost imperceptibly to anyone who didn’t know him as well as she did. She mirrors his expression, looking down to guard her thoughts before glancing back up at him knowingly.
“Go,” she encouraged soft but firmly.
Adam smiled at this, turning and grabbing his coat from the back of his chair. When he turned back to her, he grabbed her upper arms with his hands on each side.
“Thank you, Selena,” Karadec expelled, as if all he needed was her approval to push him forward.
“Go!” she laughed, turning towards her office as he bolted towards the doors.
“And Detective!” she called as an afterthought, causing him to catch the door before it shut between them, “If you lose me a consultant, they’ll be hell to pay!”
Karadec smiled, his second she may have ever seen, lighting up his face and de-aging him significantly. He nodded at her affectionately, before yelling over his shoulder as he let the door swing,
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Lieutenant!”
Selena Soto shook her head fondly, finally entering her office to gather her own things. She sat at her desk looking out at the bullpen rubbing her temples. She prayed that she hadn’t just sent him to his own emotional guillotine, but knowing Morgan she couldn’t be sure. Oh, she’d known he was falling for her consultant for months now. It was almost comical to think back on their first few months over a year ago. He couldn’t stand her and she thought he was dryer than the chipped and pealing paint on the break room walls.
Things were far simpler then. She had no idea that pairing them together would result in such chaos. They were oil and water, and it was evident from the get-go they didn’t mix. Or at least, they didn’t… until somewhere along the way they did. They became one another’s biggest advocates, both severely protective of one another. Glancing down at the case log on her desk she feared, not for the first time, what would happen to her squad if this went poorly.
She couldn’t break up Oz and Daphne. Not only would they not allow it, but there was a reason she never considered it when she first hired Morgan. While Morgan’s brain and IQ were unparalleled to anyone she’d ever met, there was something in her that knew if anyone could decode Morgan, it was Adam. She’d seen him struggle to wait for her other detectives to catch up for years. She’d seen him with more than one partner and was shocked he declined multiple offers from the FBI to jump ship.
He had a heart and empathy he did his best to hide, which mirror Morgan’s. She knew that he would not always understand her logic but would be able to catch onto her train of thought faster than anyone. Pairing them she hoped it would not just help her unit solve more cases at Major Crimes, but that it would ease some of the disconnect Adam felt in the unit. She hadn’t anticipated he’d be so ignorant or biased, but she was satisfied when Morgan refused to be bullied.
Maybe that should’ve been her warning sign. There was no use lingering on the thoughts anymore tonight. What was going to happen was going to happen. All she could do now was go home, attempt to fall asleep and pray she hadn’t just dismantled the strongest squad Major Crimes had ever seen.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Karadec’s hands were shaking by the time he got into his car. It was ridiculous how he’d reacted to seeing her earlier. He pulled out his phone for the third time since leaving the precinct, wondering again if it would make more sense to call her.
He placed it on the passenger seat, coming to the same conclusion- it was best for this conversation to happen, face to face. Regardless of how she reacted, he needed to see her eyes. She could guard almost anything from him, only if he wasn’t looking into them.
He turned the car on, rehearsing what he would say in his mind when he finally approached her doorstep. Would he be there? Oh god, if he was should he just turn around and leave? The thought dropped like a dead weight in his gut.
Glancing in the rear-view mirror when he put the car in reverse, he saw a color he thinks she described in outrage as “fuchsia” (when he called it an atrocious pink) just yesterday, before she yanked it off, per his request, before entering a crime scene.
Well, that at least would give him an out if she wasn’t alone. He couldn’t have that hideous, (as he grabbed it to place on the seat next to him), comforting smelling scarf in his professional work vehicle. But Morgan had a habit of that, didn’t she? She would just take over and up whatever space was lucky enough to be graced with her presence. Empty coffee cups on his desk, to-go bags on his kitchen counter, scarves in the squad car.
*Why do you care, Karadec? Last I checked, you made it clear you couldn’t care less! *
She replied half screaming, half crying- confusing him even more. When had he ever made that clear?
*I care because it’s inconceivable to me someone as ….as smart as you could be so stupid!” he barked, causing Lt. Soto to walk out of her office, and signal Daphne and Oz to scram. Thankfully they did, and Soto went back into her office, but left the door open-knowing this blow-up was only a matter of time, while also knowing there was only so much, she could pretend to ignore before she had to intervene.
*How … who do you… how dare you Karadec! What the Fucking.. ugh. ! Fuck how dare you?! You have no right!*
*I have EVERY right; I’m your partner and it’s my-*
* My partner not my father, this isn’t even a real partnership. No fake badges or desks will make me, as you said, stupid enough to believe that.”
“So that’s why you think it’s okay to fuck our boss then?”
She wheeled back as if being slapped. Captain Wagner and she had gone to dinner, as she believed it was as friends. Regardless, he had no right to say anything about her dating life. She was a grown woman; she owed him nothing and he was dating his ex-fiancé!
“Excuse me,” she replied, placing both hands on her hips with the clinking of her bangle bracelets enunciating her point.
It was clear all the anger had left him, his skin turning an eerie shade of pale for his usual gorgeous complexion.
“So that’s it, huh? I’m just some whore, not partner to you, who sleeps her way up to keep the job? Have I not EARNED my place here? Last I checked, I don’t owe you an explanation. But here it is, PARTNER, I am NOT sleeping with your captain. But if I decide that I want to, I wont come asking for your permission! It’s none of your damn business Adam!” – she cries, causing him to physically step back, realizing the colossal mistake he’s just made.
“Also, you’re dating Lucia!”- she continued “Who the hell do you think you are to question my life choices? Don’t sit there and pretend to care about me. You know what, I don’t need this. I’m done”
Morgan had slammed her fist on his desk, When she removed it her ‘badge’ was there, cracked. She turned to her ‘desk’ grabbed her bag and walked out of the precinct without ever looking back.
Adam stood there, pacing almost in a circle rather than back and forth. He was clearly fighting an internal battle. Was he supposed to go after her or let her go and apologize tomorrow? He could confess everything, or he could blame it on work stress. He knew she would relate and empathize with a bout of emotional overload. But how could he speak to her that way? He was Adam Karadec, he didn’t lose his cool.
His professional demeanor was more impenetrable than the badge he wore. But seeing Wagner’s hand on her back 3x’s now, when he’d pick her up for dinner. Then tonight, seeing him kiss her cheek before he left for the night? It was more than he could take. Because Wagner had no right to touch her like that, dine her like that,.. to.. to…want her, to attempt to fall in love with her. She deserved someone who understood her.
Someone could bring her back from a panic attack. Someone who could joke with Elliot about the difference between television and real police work. Someone who challenged Ava on her Spanish and secretly shared his own artwork with her. Someone who loved waiting to see who Chloe would grow up to be. Someone who Ludo respected and trusted to keep Morgan safe... She deserved someone like…. Well, someone like… …him.
Because he didn’t just want Morgan, he .. fuck he’d fallen in love with her.
It was just then that Lieutenant Soto came out, and he’d forgotten he may have an audience. He didn’t have time to think, he just reacted. And now… Morgan was gone…….
……
*“Detective, I know what you’re thinking and I’m telling you, as your boss, it’s a bad idea.” Lt*
Without allowing himself to dwell on it anymore he took the turn to head to Morgan's. When he pulled in the driveway, he realized a moment too late there was another vehicle that didn't belong there. Swearing under his breath he was just taking his car out of park to put it in reverse when the door opened.
His headlights must've alerted his presence and who walked out first did nothing to stop his anxiety. Captain Wagner stepped onto her stoop, and he was about to floor it in reverse, until he saw her follow in stride.
Morgan, red-rimmed eyes, tears still gracing her face, arms hugging herself crossed in front of the captain, staring him down daring him to see the pain he'd caused. Taking a deep breath, he put the car securely in park and killed the lights.
He wasn't expecting an audience for this, but it was clearly now or never. He'd already hurt her more than he ever imagined himself capable of. He knew if he drove away now, he'd lose her forever.
So, he took one last breath, unbuckled his seat belt and unlocked the door.