Chapter Text
before
March, 2001.
They’re walking back to the precinct when a light blue Volkswagen Bug speeds past them.Elliot’s quick to grab Olivia’s waist and pull her further onto the sidewalk. They stare at each other for a minute before Olivia taps her fist to his bicep. “Green punch buggy, no punch back.” She says with a laugh.
“Oh, so I save your life and that’s the thanks I get?”
“Exactly.”
“You’re on, Benson.”
January, 2007.
They walk the four blocks to the diner in silence. Despite what they said, neither of them feel like they’re really okay. Olivia spots it first, Elliot only a few seconds later. Both of them freeze. Olivia is the one who calls it.
“Yellow punch buggy, no punch back.”
“I get outta bed in the middle of the night and buy you late night pancakes and this is how you treat me? I see how it is, partner.”
They break out into twin smiles and walk the rest of the way to the diner with their shoulders brushing.
December, 2007.
There’s a mountain of gifts on Elliot’s desk when he walks in to bring plates to Olivia as a thank you for working on Christmas.
“What’s all this?”
“Christmas gifts for your kids.”
“Liv. You gave us enough this year. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Well, I wanted to. C’mon partner, I’ll help you load them into the car.”
He calls her a few hours later. The older kids all take turns thanking her for their gifts, and Eli gurgles into the phone.
“You knocked it outta the park as usual, Liv. Thank you,” Elliot says once he’s been handed back his phone. “Eli’s been gumming on the toy car since we gave it to him. It doesn’t count, though.”
“I have no idea what you mean, El.” The smirk is evident in Olivia’s voice.
“Sure you don’t, Benson. Toy VW bugs don’t count towards the score. Like the design, though. Don’t see many in this shade of blue. Regardless, we're still tied at 50 and 50.”
April, 2011.
“Yellow punch buggy, no punch back!” They say at the same time, their blows landing simultaneously. They stare at each other for a minute, before turning to Fin.
“I am not playing the referee again. You guys gotta figure it out for yourselves.” He walks away before either can respond.
“Rock paper scissors?” Elliot suggests.
“Best two out of three. Ready?”
Olivia wins.
“Face it, El. You’ll never catch up. It’s 150 to 75.”
“Well lucky for me, I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. We’ll keep playing until I catch up.”
May, 2011.
“And if I say no?” Elliot asks. He’s been sitting in Tucker’s office for hours now.
“Desk duty for at least six months. We reopen not only everything in your jacket, but in your partner’s too. If you say no, from this point on, everything you and Detective Benson do will be subject to heavy scrutiny. Of course, you say yes to the transfer and the undercover work, and this all goes away. Your precious partner is left alone.” Tucker leans back in his chair and smirks.
Elliot sighs and scrubs a hand over his face.
“You promise Olivia will be left alone?”
“We won’t bother her unless we have to.”
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
Tucker cocks his head. “One more thing. No contact with anyone outside your handler or your immediate family.”
Elliot’s head shoots up. “But what about-”
“Your partner doesn’t count. Do we have a deal, Detective Stabler?”
“One condition: You keep me updated on her.”
Tucker thinks it over for a moment before nodding. “I suppose I can do that.” He reaches a hand out, and Elliot feels like he’s just made a deal with the devil as he reaches across the desk to shake Tucker’s hand.
“Don’t try anything, Stabler. If I find out you broke our deal, you’ll both pay the price.”
after
August, 2011.
She’s had the day from Hell. She woke up late, got stuck in traffic, spilled her coffee, and to top it all off, she saw at least three VW bugs today. She shakes the thoughts and memories from her head and begins to flip through her mail. It’s the same as it always is. Bills, junk mail, and credit card solicitations. She stops when she reaches the postcard. It’s a bright red VW bug. Her heart feels like it’s going to beat out of her chest as she flips it over.
There’s no signature, no return address. All that’s written is two numbers.
152-80.
February, 2012
It’s been six months since the last postcard and Olivia tries not to think about it too much. She tried calling him again after, but the number had been disconnected. There was a for sale sign in the yard when she drove by, too.
She doesn’t check her mail everyday, usually only once or twice a week. She just checked yesterday, but something in her gut tells her to check again today.
She opens her box and there’s one lone envelope inside. No return address. She races up the stairs back to her apartment and rips open the envelope. It’s a picture this time, one seemingly taken on a disposable camera. It’s a red Volkswagen covered in snow. There’s still no signature, and nothing written this time, but she knows in her heart who it’s from.
She digs around for a magnet and hangs it on her fridge, along with a sticky note reminding her to buy a frame.
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2013
“We have to make this quick,” Ed says as he sits in the booth across from Elliot. “We have a missing detective and it’s all hands on deck. I’m shocked I was even able to slip away.”
“Who is it?”
“You know I can’t tell you that, Stabler.”
But Elliot is perceptive. He always has been, but two years of deep cover assignments have only sharpened his skills. He notices the catch in Tucker’s breath, and how he seems more reluctant than usual to make eye contact. He knows immediately.
“Find her, Tucker. You have to find her.”
“Detective,” Ed sighs. Elliot reaches across the table and grabs Tucker’s arm. Elliot sees the exhaustion on Ed’s face, and Ed sees the terror in Elliot’s eyes.
“You get back there, and you find her. You have to.”
Friday, June 1st, 2013
Fin drops the postcard on the small table of her hotel room.
“Got your mail and some more clothes for you, Liv. Couple more flower deliveries were sent to the precinct, too. Do you want me to-”
“Toss them. Donate them. I don’t care. I don’t want them.”
Fin nods, sets down the duffle bag of clothes and turns to the door.
“That postcard looks interesting,” is all he says before he leaves.
Olivia stares at the piece of cardstock and wills herself to calm down. It’s been a little a year since the last one, and she’s hesitant to get her hopes up. She walks to the table, picks up the card, and takes a deep breath before looking at it. The original just seems to be a normal looking car, but someone’s drawn over it in sharpie to make it look like a Volkswagen Bug. She squeezes her eyes shut for a second before flipping it over.
I’m sorry. Semper Fi.
There’s still no signature, but she still knows that handwriting anywhere. For the first time in weeks, she feels just a little bit lighter.
William Lewis is found dead in his cell a week later.
July 2014.
“Should have this case wrapped up pretty soon. There’s a shipment in a few weeks that I think will be the final nail in the coffin.” Elliot says into the phone.
“Good. There’s another op we want you on by November.”
Elliot curses under his breath. “Seriously, Tucker? It’s been almost three years of deep cover operations. I need a break.”
“Was your little six month sabbatical in June not enough for you?”
“Oh fuck you.”
“Careful, Detective Stabler. I’m still your superior officer. I know you were in the city during that time. Just remember our deal.”
“Then you already know I didn’t see her. Dammit, Tucker. How much longer is this supposed to go on?”
“I know. And you’ll be wise to keep not seeing her. An IAB investigation is the last thing she needs right now.”
Elliot’s blood runs cold at that statement. “What.. What do you mean? What happened?”
Ed smirks through the phone. “It;s good news this time. She’s fostering a little boy. Noah. Pretty solid chance she’ll get to adopt him, too.”
“A son? Good for her.” Elliot beams with pride. He closes his eyes and smiles at the image of her finally becoming a mother.
He rushes out as soon as the phone call finishes. He saw a postcard in the store the other day with two Volkswagen bugs on it. He knows exactly what this card will say, too.
*************
“You got a postcard in the mail,” Lucy says as she hands Noah over to Olivia.
Olivia thanks her, and pushes it from her mind as she spends time with her boy. It’s only after she’s put Noah down that she picks it up off the counter. She knows who it’s from just by the image on the front. She flips it over, and the message on the back makes her hurt burst.
Good for you, Liv.
She wonders for a split second how he knows, but the sound of Noah’s cries wipes the thought from her mind.
March, 2015.
They meet in person in person this time. Elliot quickly briefs Ed on the case, assuring him it’s close to wrapping up.
“Good work, Detective Stabler. If you finish this up quickly, you’ll have a few more months of leave to look forward to. Just remember-”
“Our deal, yeah. How is she by the way?”
Elliot doesn’t miss the way Ed’s eyes seem to light up at the mention of her.
“She’s wonderful. Formally adopted Noah back in May. She’s a sergeant now, too. Been some talk of pushing her to take the lieutenant's exam so she can officially run SVU.”
Elliot’s heat bursts with pride and his eyes go soft. Ed smirks.
“We got drinks a couple weeks ago. I even got her to agree to go out with me again.”
Elliot’s fist clenches and he has to take a few deep breaths. He knows Ed wants a reaction from him, wants any excuse to punish him further. He chugs the rest of his water before speaking again.
“You gonna tell her?”
“Tell her what? There is absolutely nothing she needs to know right now.”
Elliot rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Just take care of her.”
********
Olivia smiles when she sees the envelope with no return address. She knows what it means by now. She opens it carefully and picks up the picture inside. It’s printed on computer paper, and looks like it was taken on a phone. It’s a picture of an old, beat up, rusted out Bug. She flips it over and smiles at the note on the back.
You deserve it, Liv.
May 2016.
He wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing. Very few people have the number, and almost all of them are NYPD.
“Stabler.”
“Ever been to Italy, detective?” Comes Ed Tucker’s voice.
“Can’t say I have.”
“Well, pack your bags. Trafficking case out of Rome. You leave in a week. I’ll be in touch with the details.”
Elliot sighs. He’s been lucky so far with all his cases being stateside. It’s a lot easier to send the postcards with no return addresses when he can just drop them in a post box.
“Anything else?”
“Yeah. I’ll be out of the country for a few days later this month. If you need anything, call Captain Stephens.” The line goes dead, and Elliot stares at the phone with a million unanswered questions.
*******
Olivia is packing for Paris when the mail arrives. She quickly flips through it, and laughs at the postcard. It’s a literal beetle, with wheels drawn on it in sharpie. She flips it over and is taken aback at the message on the back. This is the most he’s ever written.
Probably shouldn’t be saying this, but then again I also shouldn’t be sending these. Going abroad for a while, don’t know for how long, or if I’ll be able to send anything while I’m gone. Be good, Liv. Arrivederci.”
January, 2017.
“How is she?” Is the first thing Elliot asks as he sits across from Tucker. He finished the undercover op in Rome a week ago.
“What? No ‘hello?’ no ‘how are you?’” Tucker asks. Elliot rolls his eyes.
“Business first, then pleasure.”
Elliot grunts in agreement and slides a file over to Tucker. They discuss the last few weeks of the operation, Elliot conveniently leaving out how the op took him to Paris within the first few days and how he saw Olivia, Noah, and Tucker from afar.
‘Well, thank you for the hard work, Detective. We don’t have anything pressing coming up, so enjoy your leave time.”
Elliot grunts out a thanks and looks at Tucker expectantly. He sighs, pulls his phone out of his pocket, and slides it over to Elliot.
Elliot stares at the picture of Olivia and Noah in front of the Eiffel Tower and his eyes fill with tears.
“She made lieutenant and is officially the CO of SVU. Noah’s almost four, growing like a weed.”
Elliot clears his throat, and resists the urge to trace the phone with his fingers. Instead, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small giftbag.
“Would you give this to Noah? You uh, obviously can take all the credit. But I remember you said he liked cars and I saw it and… Thought of him.”
Ed’s eyes soften and he nods. “Long as you don’t try to contact her, I think I can do that.” Ed takes the bag and peeks inside at the blue, toy Volkswagen bug inside it.
**********
Tucker and Noah are on the floor playing when Olivia walks in. She stops, not expecting to see him there.
“My meeting ended early. Thought I’d give Lucy a break and bring this little guy a gift. Hope you don’t mind?” Ed says, standing to greet Olivia.
She clears her throat and nods. “No, yeah. That’s.. That’s fine.”
Noah’s head shoots up at the sounds of his mother’s voice. He runs to her, his new car in hand. “Mommy! Tuck give present!”
Olivia scoops him up and kisses his cheek. “I see that, sweet boy! What did you get?”
Noah shoves the toy into her hand. Her breath catches as she recognizes it. At first, she hopes it’s just a sick coincidence, but then she notices a small dent on the hood of the toy, and she flashbacks to a small Eli Stabler dropping it on the ground outside the precinct. He’d cried so hard over it being “broken.” Her eyes lock onto Ed and she lowers Noah to the ground. “Why don’t you go play in your room for a few minutes while Mommy gets dinner ready?” The boy nods, takes his car, and runs off to his room.
“Where did you get that?” She asks. The last time she saw that car was in the hands of a 2 and half year old Eli Stabler, as she’d wiped his tears and promised that a dent didn’t mean it was broken, just well loved.
“What do you mean?”
“Where did you get the car, Ed?” Her voice is dangerously low.
“I.. Uh..” Ed stutters.
His stuttering infuriates her more. If it’s truly harmless, why can’t he give her a straight answer? Why does he look like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar? Her eyes lock onto the toy, still in her son’s hand, and she watches as it disappears, along with Noah, into his room. She returns her gaze to Ed. He’s startled by the look of fury on her face.
“Because the last time I saw that car was in the hands of Elliot Stabler’s youngest son. So I’ll ask you again. Where. Did. You. Get. That. Car?”
Ed gulps. “Liv-”
“Get out.”
“Olivia, come on.”
She turns away from him and stomps into the kitchen. “I said get out.”
“Olivia, let’s talk about this.” He follows her. She whips around, her eyes like daggers.
“Have you been in contact with him? Oh my God. Have you known the entire fucking time? I mean, after all the conversations we’ve had. Have you known where Elliot Stabler’s been? Have you been talking to him?”
This has to be some sort of horrifying prank from the universe. He knew, Ed knew. I told him how affected I was by Elliot leaving but this whole time he’s known where he is? Has he been the one keeping Elliot updated? Oh, God. Has he been keeping Elliot updated? Is he the reason I get nothing but a yearly postcard? Olivia’s thoughts are running wild. She feels the bile rising in her throat. Does Elliot know I’ve had no clue? Was Ed the one to tell Elliot about Lewis? About Noah?
She remembers the meeting Ed had right before they went to Paris, and thinks about the postcard she received two days before they left. Did he fucking tell Elliot about Paris? Is that why he went to Rome? Why the last postcard said “be good?” Olivia’s mind is racing as she puts the pieces together. She feels like she’s going to be sick.
Ed can’t meet her eyes. He looks ashamed. Good. She thinks. He should be ashamed of himself. The fucking audacity of this man.
“Get the fuck out of my house, Tucker.” Olivia spits.
He says nothing, just turns to leave. He opens the door and turns back to look at her. She shakes her head.
“OUT!”
Olivia doesn’t even hear the door close over the sound of her own heart beating in her ears.