Chapter Text
Connor struggled up the stairs to his apartment, his arms straining under a mountain of heavy textbooks and his battered laptop. He lived on the third floor of the complex, and the elevator had been "out of service" for two months now. By the time he rounded the corner to his hallway, he was huffing, but his mood instantly lifted when he saw it.
A brown cardboard box was waiting on his doorstep. Finally, his hoodies and vintage jackets he'd saved up for weren't supposed to arrive for another week, but he wasn't about to complain about an early delivery.
He juggled his keys, nudging the door open with his hip. He tossed his bag onto the table, shoving Ksenia’s scattered clutter out of the way, and practically skipped back to the door to retrieve his prize. His hands were actually shaking with anticipation. He’d been waiting months for this.
As he lifted the box, it felt a bit heavier than a few pieces of clothing should be, but he brushed it off. Maybe they threw in some extra goods. He felt like a kid on Christmas morning. He tried to tear the tape off with his bare hands, but the industrial-strength adhesive won that round. Determined, Connor grabbed a fork from the table and stabbed the box open, ripping the flaps back with a satisfying crunch.
He dug through a sea of packing peanuts, sending them flying onto the kitchen floor. He’d make Sophie clean them up later. She was like a kitten around those things and actually seemed to enjoy the mess. Connor reached deep into the box, expecting the soft touch of cotton or denim. Instead, his fingers brushed against something cold, hard, and definitely plastic.
He cleared away more foam and lifted the object. He let out a strangled yelp and dropped it back into the box like it was a live grenade, stumbling backward.
That was most definitely not a jacket.
Flushing a deep, painful red, he leaned over the edge for a second look. Sitting right on top was a massive, vibrating purple dildo.
"Connor, is this why you wanted to borrow my laptop? To order that?"
Connor jumped at the sound of Ksenia’s cackling. Ksenia was standing there with a predatory, shit-eating grin.
"It’s not mine, Ksenia!" Connor stammered, his face reaching a new level of heat.
"Look, Connie, if you want to explore your kinks. Wait, is that a whip?" Ksenia reached into the box, hoisting a leather crop into the air. "I didn't know you were into the heavy stuff! Am I finally witnessing your descent into depravity?"
"Ksenia, put that down! They aren't mine!" Connor shouted, cutting off her dramatic faux-prayer. "I didn't order this. It has to be a mistake."
"Oh, sure. Blame the universe" Ksenia teased, pointing an accusing finger. "You’re just going to 'keep it in your room' for safekeeping, right?"
"I’m serious! Maybe Sophie ordered it and put the wrong address?" Connor suggested, looking completely horrified.
"Liar! Why are you so defensive then?" Ksenia screeched. She reached into the box, grabbed a second toy, a bright green one, and chucked it at Connor.
Connor ducked just in time, watching the silicone object sail over his head and thud onto the floor. "Ksenia, stop! I have to return these, they can’t be broken!"
He scrambled to pick it up, but Ksenia jumped onto his back, pinning him toward the floor. "Don’t let these toys tear our friendship apart, Connor!" she wailed dramatically.
Just then, the front door swung open. Sophie walked in, stopping dead at the sight of her two roommates tangled on the floor surrounded by adult novelties.
"Sophie!" Ksenia yelled. "Did you order a box of kinks to the apartment and not tell us?"
"No" Sophie snorted, already beginning to laugh. "But that’s a brilliant prank idea for later."
Ksenia smirked down at Connor. "See? They’re yours! Just admit you’re a closeted kinky baby and we can all move on with our lives."
Connor shoved Ksenia off and stood up, poking her hard in the chest. "They. Are. Not. Mine! If they were..."
"Did you actually check the name on the box?" Sophie interrupted, crossing her arms and giving them both a judgmental look.
Connor froze. "The what?"
"The address, baby" Sophie said, rolling her eyes.
Looking sheepish, Connor walked over to the mangled box and flipped the torn flap over. His heart sank to his stomach.
"It’s for a Hudson. Hudson Williams" Connor read aloud, his voice barely a whisper. "Apartment 1410. That’s just two doors down."
"Well, let’s go give it back!" Ksenia chirped, springing toward the door. She was halfway into the hall before Connor let out a strangled "No!"
"What? I want to see the look on this guy's face when he realizes we’ve seen his collection!"
"Can’t we just tape it shut and leave it on his mat?" Sophie suggested, leaning against the counter with a shrug. "Seems like the most peaceful option."
"I would love to, but Connor over here handled the box like a feral animal" Ksenia said, giving him a look of mock disappointment.
The cardboard was a disaster. Between the fork stabs and the frantic tearing, the flaps were barely hanging on. Connor felt himself shrinking.
"Fine" Connor muttered, grabbing a roll of duct tape from their junk drawer. "I’ll tape it as best as I can, drop it off, and run like my life depends on it. I don't want him thinking I’m some kind of mail-thief pervert."
He worked quickly, sealing the top as if the contents were contagious. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of person ordered a literal starter kit for a dungeon.
"Are you sure we can’t keep the whip?" Ksenia whined. "And I swear I saw some leather chaps in there. I’d look phenomenal in those. It’s a sign from the universe."
Sophie snorted. Connor ignored them both.
"I’m going. Stay here" Connor commanded. He marched out into the hallway, his heart thudding against his ribs. He reached Apartment 1410 and leaned down to slide the box toward the door with his foot, desperate to be rid of it.
"What are you doing?"
A voice like smooth velvet, but with a sharp edge, sent a bolt of electricity down Connor's spine. He whipped around, nearly tripping over the package. He was met with intense hazel eyes and a pair of perfectly furrowed brows.
Connor froze. This wasn't some lonely old man. This was a literal Greek God in a henley. He looked about Connor’s age, and he was breathtakingly handsome.
"I... I was just... putting this here" Connor stammered.
The man, Hudson, glanced down at the box, then back at Connor. "What were you doing with my mail?"
"It was delivered to my place by mistake! I saw the address and I was just returning it!" Connor babbled, praying he looked innocent and not like a man who had spent the last ten minutes arguing over a purple vibrating dildo.
Hudson arched an eyebrow, his gaze falling on the box. His expression darkened as he noticed the silver duct tape and the jagged fork holes.
"You opened it" Hudson stated, his voice dropping an octave into a dangerous snarl.
"It was an accident! I thought it was my clothes!" Connor squeaked. He could see a faint, embarrassed flush creeping up Hudson's neck, which only made Connor feel more guilty.
"Oh, really?" Hudson sneered, stepping forward and snatching the box out of Connor’s hands. "Do you usually just rip through other people’s property when you’re bored?"
"No! I swear!" Connor was practically vibrating with secondhand embarrassment. He didn't want Hudson to think he was judging him. If the guy wanted to buy toys and leather gear, more power to him.
Hudson let out a low growl of frustration and shifted the box. Suddenly, a sickening rip echoed through the hall. The structural integrity of the box finally gave up. The bottom gave way, and the entire "box of fun" spilled onto the hallway floor with a series of loud, plastic clacks.
Connor gasped, immediately dropping to his knees to help. He grabbed the first thing he saw, a neon yellow object, and froze. It was a massive, double-ended dildo that stared back at him.
He looked up, realizing his face was currently level with Hudson’s very well-defined thighs. In a bad romance novel, this was where things would get steamy. In Connor’s life, this was just the moment he wished the floor would swallow him whole.
Hudson’s face was now a vibrant shade of scarlet. He looked like he wanted to commit a murder.
"I... uh... here?" Connor whispered, extending the double dildo toward him like a peace offering.
"Give me my fucking toys" Hudson snapped, snatching the object away.
"Do you... need help?" Connor asked timidly.
Hudson looked at him with a glare that could have withered a forest. "I think you’ve helped quite enough."
As Hudson scrambled to gather the rest, including a pair of very lacy pink silk panties, he hissed through his teeth. "Do me one last favor? Get the fuck away from me and never come near me again."
Connor backed away, his hands raised in surrender. The packing peanuts crunched mockingly under his sneakers. "I’m really sorry! If there’s anything I can do"
"Leave."
Connor didn't need to be told twice. He turned and bolted back to his apartment.