Chapter Text
“It’s because I want to become a fixer.”
Subaru felt his hands grow sweaty as he stood before his father, head lowered, unable to meet either his gaze or his mother’s. His words caused a heavy silence, and even as it stretched on, he understood it was too late to take them back.
“Can I ask you why, son?”
Kenichi didn’t sound angry, but Subaru caught a faint note of disappointment as his father’s tone turned somber.
For the first time since the conversation began, Subaru lifted his head and met their eyes. The moment he saw their faces, something twisted painfully in his chest.
His father looked as composed as ever, the familiar smile and faint exhaustion still there, but beneath them, Subaru could see the worry he tried so hard to hide. At his mother’s side, the corners of her eyes glistened, and her lips trembled as she fought to keep them from curling into a frown.
“I-I… don’t understand why you would refuse. You always sounded so excited whenever your father brought you to work, or w-when you were younger, you said you dreamed of becoming just like him… of working at K-Corp.”
Mother’s voice trembled as she bit her lip, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. Every tear gathering at the corner of her eyes felt like a needle driving straight into his heart.
How could he look them in the eye and admit that the only reason he refused the position his father had always saved for him was shame?
That he didn’t feel worthy of it.
That it would be wasted on someone like him rather than on someone truly capable.
That, selfishly, he couldn’t bear to live forever in his father’s shadow.
That he wanted to chase a childish, foolish dream instead.
How could he say any of that while looking into their eyes… eyes filled only with concern and worry for their good-for-nothing son?
“I-”
A lump formed in his throat as he tried to force out an apology, to take back his words. He wanted to say it had only been a momentary lapse in judgment, that he would gratefully accept the position his father had offered and start working, helping the family.
But his father spoke first.
Placing a firm hand on Subaru’s shoulder, he beamed at the family, flashing a wide, reassuring grin.
“It’s alright, Naoko,” he said gently to the distressed woman.
She managed a weak smile of her own as she wiped away her tears.
“I was the same at his age. Who knows? Maybe he’ll go even further than I did!” Kenichi exclaimed, giving Subaru a big thumbs-up, his voice now brimming with certainty.
How could he believe in Subaru so completely when Subaru himself could barely manage it?
Just seconds ago, he had been ready to abandon his newfound resolve. Maybe what he’d said had only been a childish impulse resurfacing.
Shame burned in his chest.
Unable to meet his father’s eyes, he felt his shoulder being clutched and given a small, steady, reassuring shake.
“I never told you much about my days as a Fixer, but I made it all the way to Grade 5, you know? Of course, that was before I met your mother.”
Kenichi laughed, and though traces of earlier somberness still lingered, Naoko’s mood had clearly lifted.
If his father was that certain, then maybe Subaru had no reason to doubt himself either.
“Thank you,” he croaked, barely managing to force the words past the tightness in his throat.
And with every word his father spoke, Subaru found himself believing a little more.
A small laugh escaped him, and his smile returned as he mirrored his father’s confidence.
“Just wait, old man. In a few years, you’ll be welcoming a brand-new Color Fixer.”
His old confidence surged back as Subaru shoved his worries to the back of his mind, choosing to lean into an almost exaggerated faith in himself.
If they believe in me that much, then who am I to doubt them? Subaru asked himself, smiling widely as he tried to ignore the faint slivers of doubt still lingering in the corners of his mind.
“That’s the spirit!”
Kenichi ruffled Subaru’s head with his knuckles. Subaru squirmed in protest before finally slipping free.
His mother watched the two of them with fondness before pulling Subaru into a tight hug and whispering in his ear.
“Remember, son, if you ever get tired or need help, you can always come back home. Your father and I will do everything we can.”
She spoke with such warmth and sincerity that Subaru felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
“I’ll do it…” Subaru forced the words past the tightness in his throat. He was already an adult, yet he still wanted nothing more than to bury his face in her shoulder and cry. “I’ll make sure to visit every week.”
Naoko let out a soft laugh at the bold proclamation.
“Every week might be a little ambitious. But we’ll be happy if you come by whenever you can.”
After a moment, Kenichi cleared his throat and added his own words.
“Damn right you should. I didn’t bust my ass to get you this position for nothing. I’ll hold onto it until I retire, so don’t you hesitate to come back.”
What had Subaru ever done to deserve parents like them? It was a question he had no answer for. All he could do was feel grateful that they supported a dream as foolish as his.
“Well then,” Kenichi said, clearing his throat as they pulled out of the hug, “since today’s celebration of your new job got unexpectedly canceled, how about we celebrate your bright future as a fixer instead?”
Subaru suppressed the pang of guilt, making sure it didn’t show on his face, and let out an awkward laugh.
“There’s no need, Dad. I’m sure the mood’s kinda been spoiled-”
Naoko cut him off with mock sternness, her sharp gaze fixing on him.
“No mood was spoiled. Only the reason for the celebration changed. And who knows when you’ll get another chance to have a home-cooked meal like this?”
She finished calmly, though there was a faint hint of sadness in her voice, one that reminded Subaru all too well of what he was about to do.
Subaru simply nodded in acceptance and followed them to the table, already laden with food that, fortunately, hadn’t grown too cold.
As the plates on the table gradually emptied, the lively conversation began to fade. The celebratory dinner had come to an end, and although the occasion had unfolded differently than expected, the time had been well spent.
Naoko had already left to clean the dishes, leaving only Kenichi and Subaru at the table. The earlier awkwardness that had lingered throughout the evening had mostly disappeared, yet as the chatter died down, certain doubts crept back in.
Subaru kept casting poorly concealed glances at his father, as though trying to read his thoughts.
“Is there something still bothering you, son?” Kenichi asked, gently breaking the silence.
Before his mind could catch up, Subaru answered without thinking.
“Yes-”
The moment he realized what he’d said, he bit his tongue, wincing at the slip.
Kenichi let out a quiet laugh, faint amusement glinting in his eyes.
With a sigh, knowing it was too late to take it back, Subaru continued.
“Yeah, I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m complaining or anything… but were you serious?” Subaru asked, lowering his voice so his mother wouldn’t overhear.
Kenichi raised an eyebrow, the wide smile never leaving his face.
“I won’t lie, part of me still wants you to reconsider all of this. Being a fixer isn’t exactly the safest job,” he began, his smile fading as his tone grew more somber.
Subaru winced, offering a small, guilty smile, but his father continued.
“But look at me. If I managed to climb this far with little to no support, who’s to say how far you’ll go with a push from me?”
Kenichi’s words were meant to reassure him, and they did, leaving Subaru feeling both guilty and relieved.
“Thanks. I know you and Mom will worry, but I’ll do my best, and I’ll stay safe. I just… can’t promise anything.”
The faintly cheeky note at the end only seemed to amuse Kenichi further, a smirk tugging at his lips.
“Of course you will. I’m not about to let you march off to the Hana Association and register that easily.”
Subaru raised an eyebrow at his father’s words. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited, if he wasn’t itching to rush there the moment the first rays of sunlight touched the City again. But Kenichi’s words intrigued him just as much, if not more.
“You mean you’re going to put me through some intense training arc or upload your wisdom straight into my brain with that N-Corp singularity?” Subaru asked, clear amusement in his voice, though his excitement still bled through.
Kenichi rubbed his chin, feigning deep contemplation.
“You know, I was thinking you could use the gift I prepared for you for getting a job to pick up some augmentations or maybe some workshop equipment, but you’re making some compelling arguments. Maybe a little canned experience would do the trick instead.”
Kenichi said it with absolute seriousness, while Subaru’s expression twisted into bewilderment.
“Wait! Can I take that back? How was I supposed to know that was even an option?”
He called out loudly enough for Naoko to hear from the kitchen.
Turning away from the dishes, she shot Kenichi a pointed look, her warm smile doing little to soften the unmistakable warning behind it.
“Kenichi, dear, please stop teasing Subaru.”
Kenichi let out a dramatic sigh and shook his head, though a faint grin lingered as he turned to Subaru.
“Still, I meant what I said about not letting you go unprepared. I set that money aside in case you decided to move out once you found a job.”
Subaru gasped, staring at his father in disbelief at the sheer generosity of the so-called “gift.”
“But since things turned out like this, I think it’d be better to spend it on some quality augmentations. Don’t you agree?” Kenichi asked with an easy smile.
Subaru continued staring at him in shock before finally snapping his mouth shut.
“Of course, that’s not without a few conditions, right? Like calling you three times a day, visiting every Sunday, heck, handing over my entire paycheck for a year!” Subaru exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air.
His disbelief only seemed to fuel his father’s amusement.
“Believe me, son, I’ve been there. Until you reach at least Grade Seven, surviving on your paycheck will be far harder than any task they throw at you.”
Subaru looked at him skeptically, but nodded all the same. He couldn’t understand where they found so much faith in him, or why they were so certain the money wouldn’t be an issue. If only they’d just let me go like this… He swallowed the bitterness rising in his throat and did his best to show his gratitude instead.
“And that’s not all. If you head to the Hana Association like this, the best you’ll manage is joining some random Grade Nine office.” Kenichi said it with the confidence of experience, leaving Subaru to wonder just how much of his father’s past went beyond the stories he’d shared.
“But isn’t that how you did it in your youth?” Subaru asked, raising a brow.
Kenichi promptly looked away, clearing his throat awkwardly.
“Your father was an idiot who didn’t even know you could join an office, so he started everything on his own.”
Naoko chimed in as she finished washing the dishes and took a seat at the table. Subaru looked at her in surprise, and she answered with a sweet, knowing smile.
“Hmm, yes. I’m afraid you’ll have to ask your mother for help this time.”
Subaru’s brows shot up, nearly reaching his hairline, as he snapped his head toward her.
“Mom was a fixer, too?” he nearly blurted.
Naoko gently cut in before he could spiral further.
“Not a fixer,” she corrected with a soft smile, “but I do have some good friends in the South Branch of the Zwei Association.”
It was still hard to believe that his mother, who had stayed by his side for most of his life, had once lived a life that led to such connections. And yet, the thought of entering the Association through connections left Subaru faintly downcast, even if such things weren’t frowned upon in the City. Fairness in the City was already a blurred concept. Nepotism and personal connections were simply another advantage for those fortunate enough to have them.
“Right, and remember, if anything happens, there’s always a position waiting for you in the corporation,” Kenichi added more seriously, though his warm smile softened the weight of his words.
“Gee, now I’m starting to feel guilty for whoever didn’t make it into the corporation because of me,” Subaru joked, though the humor was only a thin veil for the guilt stirring inside him, something his father immediately picked up on.
“Nonsense. Family comes before anyone else. I didn’t work all those years to secure that position for nothing. If it ends up being nothing more than a safety net for my son’s career, then I’m already more than satisfied.”
Subaru offered a weak smile in response, though the corners of his mouth remained uneven.
“That’s just how the City works, Subaru,” his mother added gently, but there was an unfamiliar firmness in her tone. “I know you chose to become a fixer for your own reasons, but don’t forget that, at the end of the day, they’re mercenaries. Never put the job above yourself. Your life must always come first.”
Perhaps it was one of the first times Subaru had heard his ever-kind mother speak with such quiet severity. He didn’t rush to answer. Instead, he let her words settle in his mind, his smile softening, though deep thoughtfulness lingered behind it.
“I… understand. I’ll remember what you said,” Subaru replied hesitantly.
As much as he wanted to ignore it, cling to his childish belief that they were some sort of heroes, it was something he needed to accept. He couldn’t afford to be selfish anymore, not if it meant his family would suffer for his mistakes.
“Thank you. I think I understand what you mean now.”
Subaru nodded, offering them both a slightly forced smile.
The heavy atmosphere was immediately shattered by Kenichi, who suddenly burst out with excitement.
“Enough of the boring stuff, let’s decide something fun! What would you prefer: focusing on augmentations, or the workshop equipment?” he asked with boyish enthusiasm, earning an affectionate look from Naoko.
Subaru couldn’t help but smile. His father’s enthusiasm was simply too contagious. He placed a hand on his chin, exaggerating a thoughtful pose.
“I don’t know…” Subaru drew out the pause before continuing. “Augmentations do seem like the better option, but equipment from workshops shouldn’t be underestimated either.”
Kenichi nodded several times, his expression serious as he clearly agreed.
“Indeed, there were plenty of times when augmentations saved my life. But good workshop gear can sometimes make up for a lack of skill.”
Naoko shot him a disapproving look before offering her own opinion.
“I think it’s far better to rely on your own body than on something you could lose.”
Kenichi’s shoulders slumped slightly, his tone turning faintly disappointed.
“You heard her, son, augmentations it is,” he said, while Subaru chuckled at his theatrics.
Truth be told, he shared his mother’s opinion. No matter how you looked at it, augmentations seemed like the wiser choice in the long run.
“In that case, we’ll also have to decide which augmentations to get, and where to install them. Who knows what might happen if you choose the wrong spot?”
Hearing his father start up again, Subaru sighed, then put on a mischievous smirk as he replied,
“Can I assume you happen to know a good place to get them?”
Kenichi paused, running a hand through his hair before answering sheepishly.
“I would’ve said so, son, but I’m fairly sure that, by now, that damn man’s been paid a visit by a Claw.”
Subaru nearly spat out his drink at that, staring at his father in confusion as he continued.
“Though, knowing what a cockroach he is, he’s probably survived somehow. I swear, he could build a fully sentient robot with emotions, and still manage to dodge getting caught.”
Naoko fixed Kenichi with a questioning stare, and he began to sweat under her gaze.
“I don’t recall you ever mentioning such a… unique individual.”
The man stammered in response, urgency creeping into his voice.
“You must be forgetting, honey, it’s old man Kolner. The one I used to visit all the time during my career, whenever I needed augmentations.”
Naoko nodded slowly, seemingly satisfied with the answer.
“And you want to take Subaru to him? Are you sure he’ll do a good job?” The question was less a request for clarification and more a warning, one that demanded a satisfactory answer.
“Well, I’m still alive and kicking, so I don’t think that’ll be a problem. That is… assuming he hasn’t been caught by a Claw.”
After a brief nod, Naoko turned her attention to Subaru, who had been quietly observing the exchange.
“What about you? Do you want to get your augmentations there? It’s an important decision for a fixer, so I want you to choose carefully.”
Subaru wasn’t sure how much of a choice he really had to begin with. It wasn’t as if he knew any other reliable place to have them installed.
“I mean, if Dad vouches for him, I don’t see a reason to say no,” Subaru replied casually, shrugging to emphasize his indifference.
Though she let out a quiet sigh, his mother accepted his answer with a nod.
That was all the encouragement Kenichi needed. He sprang up from his chair, clapping his hands together.
“Then it’s settled! Tomorrow, I’ll take Subaru to get those augmentations installed.”