Chapter Text
Two sets of footsteps echoed through the corridor, each carrying an unmistakable purpose in mind.
One measured and striking the floor in perfect rhythm, each step evenly spaced as if rehearsed. The other was heavier, the metal occasionally scraping against polished panels with a mechanical sound that made nearby conversations falter for just a second before resuming.
The hallways were always packed with people at this time of the day. A man with purple skin and a white bear mask arguing with a purple rabbit with pink overalls were today's entertainment, they never liked each other... For whatever reason... It wasn't the business of the two machines.
The gravity of the headquarters were a little off today. Bending slightly to the left, not enough to cause problems but enough to be annoying. The light were bright, difficult to adjust to in the morning, the time it was when they woke up in their own universe.
Work continued.
Deadlines waited for no reality.
The footsteps did not slow.
They turned into a higher-level corridor where the noise of Headquarters softened into distant echoes. The walls here shifting from metal to the colors of unfamiliar constellations... The boss always liked stars.
At the far end stood a pair of double doors marked only by a little bunny sticker.
The doors slid open on their own. Light spilled outward.
And together, Mr. Puzzles and Mr. WPNZ stepped inside.
Sitting on a chair with her feet on her desk was an 19 years old woman. Her name tag said « Eve ». Her eyes flickered to them as the pair entered, "ah, there you are guys. I'm sorry for calling you this early AND during one of your off days but it's important-"
"Cut to the chase will ya' boss? We know we're here for a mission so just- tell us" Huffing, WPNZ never was a morning person, contrary to his partner who seemed to glow with anticipation
"Right right sorry-", Eve took her feet off. "So, something is happening in YOUR original universe. And I WOULD have called someone else but it's your original universe and well... You know it's in the «chaotic» and «weird» category so... I need this to go well, the events happening aren't that harmful, yet- but it can escalate quite fast."
The two machines glanced at each other. They haven't been in the Smg4 universe since WOTFI 2025 and quite frankly, they don't want to. Not that they don't want to see certain people, but they're cowards..., they don't want to face them. Even if they will never admit it.
Eve continued to ramble awkwardly. She was never good with social interactions with all her years traveling the multiverse-
"could you tell us what exactly is happening?" Mr Puzzles cut her off.
"oh uhhh right!", she pushed a button, showing the video surveillance cameras on the digital screen behind her.
the screen came to life, well at least tried to. For a moment, nothing appeared except for a loud electronic buzz that made Mr Puzzles' antennas twitch.
Then the image snapped into existence. The footage looked like it was recorded in through 3 different potatoes at once.
Mr Puzzles rolled his eyes, 120p looking recordings were such a lazy horror movie stereotypical move.
Mr WPNZ leaned forward slightly. A figure ran across the frame and stopped in the middle, looking around before doing... Something...?
That something certainly did not cooperate with the cameras.
The image warped the second the figure moved.
Pixels stretched outward like pulled fabric, colors separating into harsh blocks before snapping back together again. The buzzing grew louder, overlapping with itself.
Chunks of the screen froze while others continued moving. A duplicate frame appeared half a second ahead of itself, then another behind.
Mr. WPNZ frowned. "...That ain’t compression."
The footage tried to refocus.
Failed.
Every time the camera centered on the figure, the resolution dropped further, details dissolving into aggressive static.
For one frame, just one frame, the image snapped in place.
The silhouette stood perfectly still in the middle of the street.
Then the camera exploded.
Mr. Puzzles tilted his head
"…Fascinating.", he murmured.
Eve leaned forward, elbows on her desk now.
"The systems classify it as observational rejection", she explained. "The universe allows it to exist, but recording technology can’t properly register it-"
Mr. WPNZ leaned back slowly. "Yep. I don’t like that one bit"
Mr. Puzzles’ expression flickered to one of contemplation "agreed my dear WPNZ..."
"yeah well me neither.", the 19 years old said. "We don't know what we're dealing with here so we need people on the floor, and you two are the best qualified since you somewhat know what to expect", she pointed at both of them.
"Are you certain there isn't... er- anyone else that can take this mission.?", He glances at Mr WPNZ again with an uncomfortable expression.
"Listen, I don't know what went down there. I don't know why you are avoiding it. And frankly, I don't wanna know-", she gestures with her hand. "I know y'all are villains so I'm guessing it's because of the relationships you have with your world's heroes or whatever- But I can't, I WON'T send anyone else". She sighs
"I don't want the mission to fail."
Mr WPNZ grumbled. "Fine. We'll do it, but we better be getting double the off-days afterwards, you hear?". He leaned forward, pointing at her.
"Alright alright fine- and you know the rules, do-"
"yes yes, don't let anyone know who we are and if we have people aware of us, to not let them know we're here. We've heard this countless times Eve... Do not worry your little pretty head, you know us by this point", the tv head answered.
Eve chuckled and gestured them to leave.
The doors slid shut behind them with a soft hiss.
For a few seconds, neither of them spoke.
The chatter from the main hallway still echoing. It seemed louder than before.
Their footsteps resumed. Slower this time.
WPNZ put his arms behind his head. "...Great."
Puzzles adjusted his gloves automatically, though they were already perfect. The screen of his face dimmed slightly, the anticipation of the mission leaving him.
"Audiences do adore sequels I suppose." he chuckled, looking over at his partner.
WPNZ shot him a look. "Yeah yeah I guess... Nervous, Boxhead?", he smirked.
The TV man huffed, "well aren't you.?"
The smirk faltered. The living weapon looked down without answering.
They turned a corner, and nearly walked straight into a wall of bright blue and gold. A cape moved dramatically despite the complete absence of wind.
The man standing there looked like he had stepped directly out of a comic book. Broad shoulders, perfect posture, jaw set with determination. The light from the ceiling seemed to gather around him on purpose. Quite overkill, if you asked the two Misters.
His arms were crossed.
WPNZ groaned immediately.
Mr. Puzzles’ screen brightened again, his expression switching to a knowing smirk. "Ah. Gateway. It is... delightful... to run into you."
Gateway did not smile. His eyes moved between them, irritation very visible.
"You got assigned to a mission.?"
WPNZ shrugged. "Yep", with a very intentional pop of the p.
Several people nearby slowed down, pretending to check files while very obviously eavesdropping
Mr. Puzzles clasped his hands behind his back. "I assure you, Seb, we did not personally request it"
"You always say that" Seb snapped. "I haven’t had a field mission in fifteen weeks." he continued. "Fifteen weeks!"
"Yes, well who's fault is that?"
"Yours!!"
WPNZ’s eye twitched. "Buddy, take that tone down a notch. We ain't at your mom's house, she already did enough yelling for both of you yesterday", he chuckled.
That comment gained a very dead pan look from the cyborg next to him.
Seb ignored him, staring directly at Mr. Puzzles.
"You break a universe" he said, "and now you get rewarded with special assignments?", he put his fingers on the tv host's shirt.
"Back off man.", Mr WPNZ growled.
The hallway grew quieter.
Mr. Puzzles tilted his head slightly, grin frozen in a wide smile.
"If memory serves right" he replied calmly, "I also helped save it."
"That doesn’t erase what you did."
For a moment, neither moved.
Then WPNZ stepped forward, metal foot hitting the floor with a heavy clang.
"Listen" he said, voice low, "we didn't ask for this mission. Trust us on that."
"Of course you didn’t", Seb said bitterly. "You never have to. Eve just hands it to you."
Puzzles’ screen flickered, a brief burst of static betraying irritation.
"She assigns missions based on probability of success" he said, tone suddenly cooler. "Not moral aesthetics. I don't see why we're the only villains you're targeting when there are plenty others in this station."
The hero laughed once, humorless.
"Do you think villains belong here, protecting universes?", not answering the previous question.
WPNZ shrugged. "I mean, we're normally the one destroying them- I think we’re good at cleaning messes if we know how they're created"
Gateway looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel.
People nearby very suddenly found reasons to leave.
A young blonde woman, close to Gateway's age suddenly came running. She as well, look like a walking stereotype of a hero's love interest. She glanced at the two machines before putting her hand on Seb's shoulder.
"Love. Calm down.. It's not worth it. They clearly didn't choose it"
Seb exhaled sharply, forcing himself to calm down.
"…You shouldn’t be going.",.he said finally, quieter now. "It's not fair."
Silence stretched between them.
"…This is a mistake..." he muttered, glancing at his girlfriend.
He stepped aside at last.
As Puzzles and WPNZ walked past, Seb added.
"If something goes wrong, I’m beating your asses."
WPNZ snorted as they continued down the corridor.
"Guy really needs a hobby."
"…He is not entirely incorrect" he murmured.
Neither of them slowed.
Their house existed in a quiet universe. Less chaotic then their original one but where no one would bat an eye at a cyborg with a tv head and a living gun.
Outside the tall windows, a lavender sky stretched endlessly above a city that minded its own business.
The front door slid open with a soft chime, something Puzzles begged to have, as the two stepped inside.
Mr. WPNZ immediately yanked off his vest near the entrance. "I hate that guy."
Mr. Puzzles just hummed in agreement.
"He’s annoying."
"Yes. Yes he is."
They stood there for a moment longer than necessary.
The mission lingered between them.
Finally, WPNZ sighed and turned toward their bedroom. "We should pack."
"Yes, let's pack."
_____
The organization’s watch rested on a night table on Puzzles' side of the bed.
A silver bands, very simple. Thin veins of faint red light pulsed beneath the surface. Each watch contained a drop of Eve’s blood.
She, alone, could naturally open pathways between universes, the problem was that she can't choice where she goes. The watches exist to be able to travel, and to travel safely.
Without calibration from the people using them, they were useless junk.
Eve mentioned building them with a scientist she met during her travels... She might have mentioned that he was running away from a demon Doritos...?
Drawers opened. Closets slid apart. Packing began.
WPNZ tossed equipment onto the bed with little organization, weapons, spare mechanical components, a jacket he claimed he never used but always brought anyway because Puzzles liked it.
The tv cyborg folded suits with excessive care, smoothing nonexistent wrinkles.
"You're overpacking" Puzzles observed.
"I pack what we need"
“You packed a rocket launcher, WPNZ"
"Hey, you never know"
Puzzles paused, holding a bowtie. "… What would we need a rocket launcher for???"
WPNZ huffed a laugh but didn't explain further.
Puzzles just stared at him for a bit before shaking his head muttering something.
Silence returned briefly, filled only by fabric shifting and metal clicking into place.
Puzzles sat down on the bed with a sigh.
"…You okay?" WPNZ asked eventually, not looking up. He was never good with communication and feelings... It's much more his partner's thing.
Mr. Puzzles’ screen flickered.
"I... am experiencing a perfectly normal level of existential dread-"
"Yeah", WPNZ muttered. "Same.... We won't have to see ‘em." he added after a moment. "Rules say we stay ghosts. Plus I think we're still wanted criminals there? Only that blue guy and his gang know we're «dead»..."
"I am aw-"
"Holy shit, you think we're gonna have a round two with the death fridge?", the machine stared at tv host who was glaring at him for cutting him.
"I- maybe-? Why are you even asking me that in the first place?!"
"I don't know... To change my mind, I guess..?"
Puzzles didn’t answer.
"I guess... I guess I'm kind of dreading, dreading the fact that I may see my kids- and well- Kata- Karen."
Silence settled between them, heavy, a bit uncomfortable even after all those months spent together.
The rustle of fabric filled the room as WPNZ sat down next to Puzzles.
"…You miss them",the CTR head said at last, voice quieter than usual.
WPNZ scoffed automatically, though it lacked conviction. "Yeah, you already know that from the small time I dared to open up to you. Don’t make it weird."
"It is already weird-", Puzzles replied flatly. "We are preparing to revisit a universe where we both tried to kill people. Well- you did kill people-"
"…Fair point."
"I know they hate me. You saw what I did to them when you were stalking me or whatever.", he muttered.
Puzzles put his hands on his, "We'll deal with it when the time comes. And if you don't want to. Then we'll just leave...", he said. "We don't **have** to see them."
WPNZ glanced at him. "That supposed to be comforting?"
"No? Yes? Maybe?"
They shared a brief look before both returned to packing, pretending the moment hadn’t happened.
"Do you truly need six **identical** bowties, jigsaw-?"
"They aren't **identical**, you just lack the cultural intelligence to tell them apart, you uncultured swine"
"Hey that's not true!"
"It absolutely is"
"You’re unbelievable-"
"And yet you're still here, with **me**", he added a mocking tone, turning around, his screen with kawaii eyes.
WPNZ huffed, not surprised by the dramatics of his partner, "Rent’s cheap"
"It is not cheap-"
"Yeah it is, and you're... A pretty good roommate when you're not-". He gestured vaguely at Puzzles. "-doing whatever this is"
Puzzles gasped dramatically, offended, one hand rising to his chest. "This is composure under pressure!"
"This is you panic-organizing accessories"
"It is called coping" Puzzles corrected with dignity.
WPNZ snorted
After a moment, WPNZ spoke up once again.
"So… you gonna pretend she ain't part of this?"
Puzzles paused.
Just for a fraction too long. "I have absolutely no idea who you could possibly be referring to," he said smoothly.
"Oh come on. We talked about my problems, time for yours, Shakespeare" WPNZ muttered.
Puzzles’ screen flickered faintly. He grumbled something.
Another pause.
"I believe," he said carefully, "that Meggy has made her opinion of me quite unmistakably clear multiple times before."
"Yeah," WPNZ said. "Can't blame her, felt the same for a while-", he smirked a little bit, trying to add humor to the situation.
"I am aware..."
The words came quieter than usual. Puzzles stared at his own reflection in the window. "I did ruin quite a significant portion of her life." he added lightly. "Among other catastrophic inconveniences-"
"Inconveniences," WPNZ repeated flatly.
"Yes. A tragic series of mildly unfortunate events."
WPNZ gave him a look.
"I know she hates me." he admitted at last. "And frankly… she is entirely justified in doing so."
"But," he added quickly, straightening up, theatrical tone snapping back into place, "at least we both have people who hate us. We're not alone anymore.", he turned toward his partner. "We should avoid confrontations- any situation involving accountability"
WPNZ barked a laugh.
Puzzles pointed at him. "Optimism is free, my dear"
WPNZ suddenly grabbed him by the front of his vest and pulled him forward and put his lips on his screen.
Metal fingers tightened slightly in fabric. Puzzles’ screen flickered to a startled expression with a red line, before switching again. He leaned into the kiss.
When WPNZ pulled back, he didn’t let go immediately. Their foreheads nearly touched, close enough that the faint hum of their internal systems overlapped.
Puzzles blinked.
"Yeah" WPNZ cut in, voice quieter now. "You’re right."
Puzzles tilted his head. "I'm always right- but about what..?"
WPNZ shrugged, though his grip softened instead of releasing. "We’re not alone anymore."
Puzzles’ screen warmed into a small, genuine smile.
"…Careful" he murmured. "You keep saying things like that and I might force you to watch rom-con with me"
" Ugh, don’t push it, Boxhead", WPNZ snorted, finally letting him go.