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This was exactly what Jack needed. His face buried in his pillow and his ass in the air with a powerhouse pounding into him. He forgot everything but the sensation of his prostate sending shocks to his cock.
Said powerhouse was Miles Cohort, a surgical nurse and fellow gym rat. That's where they had met, the VA gym. Miles was ex-army and his husband was deployed. Jack had talked to Miles’ husband and got an enthusiastic green light to keep Miles entertained while he was gone. So, all the fucking Jack wanted without any emotional baggage. Absolutely ideal for where Jack was in life. After losing his wife he didn't want to get involved again and the one person he might consider wasn't an option, so low stakes sex was his best bet. Miles worked at the VA hospital so he wasn't bothered by Jack's residual limb. He asked about pain levels and weight bearing, but didn't flinch about touching it or being rough like Jack asked for.
Miles' hips snapped forward again, driving his cock deep inside Jack. Jack cursed into the pillow, crying out when the pleasure edged on pain. Miles was holding his arms behind his back so he couldn't touch himself, controlling when Jack got off. Jack's brain was completely shut down besides sensation and want. That's why he didn't hear his front door open. That's why he didn't notice heavy shoes running down the hall. Why he didn't realize anything was happening until his bedroom door hit the wall hard enough to shake the picture frames.
“Get the fuck off of him,” a voice roared and all the sudden Miles was shoved, painfully pulling him out of Jack. Miles was off balance and went sprawling across the bed. Jack lifted his head and saw Robby, red faced and furious. Robby started climbing on the bed to get at Miles again. Jack twisted and sat up, grabbing Robby by the shoulders.
“Stand down,” he yelled into his friend’s ear.
Robby’s wild eyes turned from the prone man to Jack. He took in Jack's stern expression and then his eyes slid down to Jack's still hard cock. Jack refused to feel ashamed. Realization crossed over Robby's face and he scrambled to get up.
“I am so sorry,” Robby said as he all but ran from the room.
“I will never forgive you if you leave, because I can't chase you!” Jack called after him. He wasn't above guilt tripping. He listened for the front door, but didn't hear it. That had worked.
“Was that your husband?” Miles asked, slightly annoyed at the thought of being lied too.
“No, that's my best friend,” Jack explained.
“Who doesn't know you like it in the ass,” Miles concluded as he was pulling on his shirt and pants. Jack couldn't help, but smile.
“Nope,” Jack said, finding his own shorts and pulling them on.
“You're about to have a very awkward conversation. That's why I'm not friends with straight guys anymore,” Miles said as he put his shoes on, balling up his socks and shoving them in his pockets.
“Don't I know it,” Jack said, putting on the shirt Miles tossed him.
“You good?” Miles asked with a raised brow and a head tilt.
Jack put a hand down the back of his pants and it came back slick, but blood free.
“I'll be fine. Get out of here. This is my mess. Sorry for the interruption,” Jack said, wishing he had never given Robby a key and carte blanche to come in whenever he wanted.
“You're all good, brother. I'll see you later,” Miles said, giving him a quick peck on the lips and handing him his crutches.
He pulled himself up on his crutches and followed Miles out. He closed the door behind him and went into his living room. Robby was on the couch with his head in his hands.
“Well that was humiliating,” Robby said into his palms.
“What's humiliating is how easy you think I am to rape,” Jack said deadpanned.
Robby’s head snapped up. Jack smirked at him, his demeanor relaxed. That did not help. Robby's expression was still tense and shocked.
“I didn't, I don't,” Robby said, his eyes flickering to Jack's stump.
“Handicap or not, I can still kick your ass,” Jack said, going to the other side of the couch and gingerly lowering himself down. He was still a bit sore, full of lube and worked open, which was not how he wanted to talk to Robby about his bi status. “And I've got a hand gun in my nightstand. But it's good to know you'll white knight for me if I need it.
“Which you don't. I'm sure your boyfriend can take care of you,” Robby said to the floor.
“Miles? Miles is not my boyfriend. He's married,” he said and Robby gave him the stink eye, “And in an open relationship. He's just a buddy from the VA.”
“That's what you let your buddies do to you?” Robby said with a hint of venom.
Slut shaming? Really? Robby was playing dirty. He got mean when he was flustered. It was safer then admitting how he really felt. He was trying to start a fight so he could storm off. Jack wasn't going to take the bait.
“Are you mad I didn't tell you I was bisexual?” Jack asked point blank.
“It would have been nice,” Robby retorted with a huff.
“Oh?”
“I wouldn't have walked in on you getting railed like a bride on her wedding night,” Robby snapped, his hand rubbing together like he was trying to start a fire.
“What bothers you more; that I like men or I take it up the ass? Because I still liked being pegged when my wife was alive,” Jack said letting his anger get the best of him.
Robby eyed him before retreating back into himself. He shook his head quickly. Robby’s hand scrubbed the back of his neck and his face, trying to self soothe. He was starting to rock. Jack paused to watch. Did Robby have a sexual assault history? Was he having a flashback? Whatever this was, it was pushing him toward a panic attack.
“Mike,” Jack said leaning into Robby's space carefully, “What's going on?”
Robby shook his head again.
“Come back to me,” Jack said.
Robby snorted which caught Jack off guard. One dark brown eye peaked out from behind his fingers. He sighed deeply and crossed his arms over his legs.
“I had a reaction,” Robby admitted in a soft whisper.
Was that why Robby had come over? Had he started a new medication? Maybe he'd finally got on that anti-depressant everyone suggested. One of the side effects was suicidal idealization. On top of that he'd imagined Jack was being assaulted or was feeling betrayed by Jack never telling him about his sexuality. Everything would be magnified by his chemical imbalance.
“It's ok. I'll help you detox,” Jack reassured him. They could get through this together.
“What?” Robby asked then his mouth formed an “o” before he shook his head, “I didn't have a reaction to a medication."
“Then what?”
Robby let out a slow, long breath then took it in slowly. Jack let him box breathe until he was ready to talk.
“You,” Robby said in a hoarse whisper that sent shivers up Jack's spine.
“Like, um,” Jack said hesitating so he could find the word that would freak out Robby the least. He went clinical. “An erection?”
Robby nodded, head down. Robby was still curled in on himself and it made Jack wonder.
“Did it go away?” Jack asked.
“Yes, Jesus Christ,” Robby said and leaned back as if to offer proof. To be fair it was hard to tell in those jeans.
Jack shrugged, trying not to preen and failing. He got straight as a pole Robby to bend.
“Stop looking so smug,” Robby said, finally facing him. Robby was blushing so hard it was pushing into his ears and down his neck. Jack wondered how far down it went.
“I made you experience gay panic because I'm so,” Jack said, pausing to lick his finger and put it on his chest with a sizzle noise, “Hot.”
“Can you take anything seriously?” Robby asked, but he was still smiling.
“What's there to take seriously? You saw something sexual and you got aroused. Maybe you've been hiding a little queer under all that bad fashion sense.”
“I don't really…”
“What?”
“I'm not talking about this with you,” Robby snapped and got up. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer like he owned the place. He might as well. Fuck Robby might have bought that beer.
“Then who? You hate therapists and no one else knows what happened today besides me.”
Robby stared into the still open fridge like it held the answers. It was quiet for a while and Jack allowed it. Then it went into rumination territory so he broke the silence.
“Grab me one would ya?” Jack asked, shaking Robby from his thoughts. Robby nodded and came back with a beer in hand. He gave it to Jack who twisted the cap off.
“I just don't want you to-”
“Think less of you? Fuck off. You've drained an abscess off my stump, we are way past that, brother,” Jack reminded him. His self administered procedure hadn't worked and it had gotten to the point he was struggling to walk. Robby had probably saved his life by insisting he look at it.
Robby took a deep breath and started talking like he couldn't stop. “I don't get hard often. I do when I'm with someone, but just from like porn or naked people? No. I figure it's a work thing.”
“Do you jerk off?” Jack asked, trying to be careful with his questions. It was difficult when he was picturing Robby sweating and squirming with a handful of cock.
Robby nodded and said, “Yea. Sure. I just think of things I've done in the past. Sometimes it's things I want to do with someone.”
“By someone do you mean like a celebrity or someone you know?”
Robby shrugged, “Someone I know.”
“You sound demisexual,” Jack said, picking up on the clues.
“What the fuck is that? Just because you suddenly figured out you like dick doesn't mean you're a sex councilor.”
“Suddenly? I've known I liked dick since I was a teenager,” Jack corrected and Robby eyebrows went into his hairline. “And I volunteer with a support group for queer vets. It's mostly people fifteen years or more younger than me so I'm learning all the new terms and living off the vibes.” He brought his hand up and made a little wave motion. Robby faintly smiled.
“So what's this demi thing Mr. Hipster?”
“It's where you only feel sexual attraction when you feel an emotional connection with someone. It's pretty personal so you'd have to figure out what that means to you, but might be what's going on,” Jack explained. He did not mention it was part of the asexual spectrum. Robby had enough information tossed at him right now.
“So what? My dick saw you and was like ‘hey I know that guy’?” Robby suggested and Jack tried not to laugh.
“Something like that,” Jack said and finished off his beer. He was going to be impulsive and it was probably not a good idea, but he was worried Robby would never want to talk about this again. “You want to do something about it?”
“About my demi thing?”
“No,” Jack said and adjusted himself to his full height, possibly flexing his muscles, but he'd never admit to it, “About your attraction to me.”
Robby stopped breathing. He stared at Jack wide eyed. He almost looked scared, but Jack waited. Finally, Robby licked his lips and turned away. “I don't do casual and you don't do relationships. So even if this gay thing wasn't freaking me out, it still can't work.”
“Who says I don't do relationships?”
“You. All the time. Whenever anyone has brought it up since Liz died. You always say you're not interested in dating and there is probably one person in the world you might, but they aren't interested.”
Jack chuckled and asked, “And who do you think that person is?”
“I don't know. I thought it was just to get people off your back. So like Jessica Alba or something.”
“It's you,” Jack told him. And it was true. It wasn't like he had a crush or had been pining away. It was a settled feeling. Robby was the only one he could picture being with besides his wife. Their lives were already intertwined and Robby meant so much to him. Plus he'd always thought Robby was hot. He had eyes.
“Jack,” Robby said, his voice full of warning. Not warning Jack off, trying to warm Jack of Robby's issues. As if Jack hadn't been holding Robby together for years.
“You already know all my shit. I know yours. Your family, one way or the other. You've got food in my fridge and I've got crutches at your place. Hell, you replaced your shower with a walk in one so I'd be more comfortable coming over after a shift. Adding sex would just be that, adding to our relationship,” Jack explained, spelling out what he'd been avoiding saying for years. It was so obvious to him, but Robby was the king of emotional constipation.
Robby's eyes raced back and forth as he took in this idea. The pieces falling into place behind bewildered eyes.
“Holy shit I'm your straight husband.”
Jack laughed at that. “Maybe not so straight.”
“Right,” Robby said, his eyes finding Jack's. His eyes were hesitant like he didn't know Jack. That hurt. Jack tried to smile and Robby tried to smile back. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Robby's hand moving. His hand touched his shoulder and then snaked up to his neck. Jack shifted closer. Robby leaned in until they were breathing the same air. “Do you, huh, kiss guys?”
“Yeah. Do you?” Jack asked, resting his forehead on Robby’s.
“I don't know,” he whispered.
“Wanna find out?” Jack asked.
Robby let out a long breath and took it back in. Finally, Robby nodded. Jack pressed his lips to Robby's, just a gentle caress. Robby made a sound in the back of his throat that was a mix between relief and arousal. Robby surged forward, damn near getting into Jack's lap. A switch had been flipped and Robby turned into a six foot octopus. Jack found himself almost falling off the couch, his weight unfortunately on his bad leg.
“Robby, baby,” Jack said, wrenching his face away, “We gotta move this to the bed if you wanna get frisky.”
Robby jumped off of him. He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his mouth with the other.
“Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have-” Robby started then stopped dead, “Baby?”
“Yea. You like it?” Jack asked, grabbing his crutches and getting up. He turned towards Robby in time to see the other man bite his lip. Jack allowed himself to feel and enjoy the heat that curled in his belly.
“Never been anyone's baby before,” Robby said as he got up, “I think it's because I'm too tall.”
Jack spun on his crunch and landed on his good leg way too close. He pushed up into Robby’s space. When Jack spoke his voice was rough, but steady, “When I'm done with you, you're going to feel like my babygirl, spoiled and precious.”
Robby gaped at him. His cheeks flushed a pretty red. His chest was rising and falling as he panted. That might have awoken something in his friend.
Jack turned and led them into his bedroom. Jack put his crutches in the holder by the bed and sat down. Robby stayed by the door, messing with his hoodie’s zipper. Tired of waiting Jack took his shirt off and tossed it at his friend.
“You still up for this?” he asked, dragging himself back on the bed, his shorts getting tugged down and exposing his hip bones. He never had put his underwear back on.
“Oh yeah, I am,” Robby said in a way that made Jack check out his crotch. Nothing obvious. Fucking jeans. “I don't know what I'm doing.”
“I suggest using your hands and mouth on parts of my body called erogenous zones. I would love to have you rail me like a bride on her wedding night, but for some reason I'm sore.”
“You are still Jack fucking Abbott,” Robby said getting closer to the bed.
“For better or for…” Jack said and then trailed off. Robby had pulled off his sweatshirt and was lifting both shirt and undershirt off. In an instant Robby was shirtless. He wasn't in shape, but the job gave him strong arms. His chest hair was a mix of grey and brown, sprinkled between his pecs, down his stomach and into his pants. He was sucking in his stomach, but Jack knew he had a soft pudge just above his belt. Jack wanted to bury his face in it.
“You've never looked at me like that before,” he said as he moved to undo his belt.
“I never let myself. You were off limits,” Jack said watching as Robby pulled his belt off. After that he was unzipping and pushing down his pants. His boxers did a terrible job of hiding the erection straining to get out.
“It's a good thing or I might have picked up on your interest. I'm oblivious, not blind,” Robby said sitting on the bed beside him.
Jack reached out and grabbed Robby by the neck. Robby came in for a kiss. The other man came alive again, wrapping his arms around Jack and pulling him down to the bed. They laid facing each other, chest to bare chest, arms around each other and legs mingling. Jack didn't know when he started dry humping his best friend, but he didn't care. He had wanted this man for over a decade.
Between the kissing and the skin on skin friction Jack got hard immediately. Robby must have felt it on his leg because he reached down to run his hand over the shape it made under his shorts. Jack didn't stop kissing him, but he paid attention. Robby's hand was careful, outlining every inch. He was exploring, but it felt so damn good. Jack moaned, having to pull back to breath. Robby was staring at him with dilated pupils and red cheeks, a smile forming on his lips. Robby dived in and started kissing Jack's neck, down to his shoulders. He pushed Jack onto his back and Jack went willingly.
Robby started pulling down Jack's shorts. His erection sprung out and Jack paid attention to Robby's reaction. Robby grinned like he was proud of himself for making that happen. Robby started crawling down his body and Jack knew he was thinking of giving him a blowjob. He should ask if Robby was sure, but you couldn't change Robby's mind when he decided on something and Jack was about to get a blowjob. He was a good man, not a saint.
Robby got to eye level with his cock and looked up for reassurance, “Jack?”
“Yeah, sweetie?” he said with a soft smile.
Robby's eyes fluttered shut at the nickname. That was definitely doing something for him. Opening his eyes, he edged closer, his tongue brushing against the head, wet and soft.
Jack groaned and got up on his elbows to watch. He wanted to watch, both because it was sexy as hell and to make sure Robby was ok. Some guys made it this far and freaked out about it. Robby did not. He closed his lips around the tip and sank down like a pro. He didn't go far enough to make himself gag, but enough to make Jack see stars. His hand took over the rest. His tongue started licking behind up and down what he could take. It was sensual like he was in love with what was in his mouth. Jack had never been much of a thruster during blowjobs, unless asked, so he had no problem laying back and taking the pleasure.
“You're doing so good, baby,” Jack purred between breathy moans, “You wanna make me cum?”
Robby moaned around his cock like that was the best thing he'd ever heard. Robby's hand came up to play with his balls a little, pausing at his slick taint as if remembering what he'd walked into. For some reason that made Robby suck harder. The suction, the tongue, the fact it was handsome, stubborn, wonderful Robby doing all of this made him reach the edge and go over. The first few moments were blissfully in a warm, welcoming mouth, but then Robby pulled off. He started spitting off the side of the bed, but was considerate enough to keep pumping Jack through his orgasm.
Jack pushed the hand away and started laughing. His orgasm was ruined, but he didn't give a damn. With any luck it would be the first of many between them. Robby glared at him.
“It's fine. Not everyone's a swallower,” Jack tried to comfort, but he couldn't stop chuckling.
“I didn't expect it to hit the back of my throat like that,” Robby complained, wiping his mouth.
“You're the one who got me all worked up,” he argued as he wiped tears from his eyes.
“So, it was good?” Robby asked climbing back into the bed. His eyebrows drew together in that cute way they did when Robby felt shy.
“Didn't feel like your first time sucking cock.”
“I just remembered what I liked when girlfriends did it to me,” Robby said with a shrug.
“Remind me to send your ex's thank you cards.”
“That would shock the hell out of them,” Robby said, laying down and rolling over so he was closer to Jack. Jack shifted until they were chest to chest again. His hand roaming down Robby's body until he found his underwear.
“Shocks me too,” Jack admitted, “While we're here you want to get off?”
Robby laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes,” he said, then Jack grabbed his cock through cotton,"Oh Please.”
“How?”
“Could you jerk me off while we make out? Wait, nevermind, I just blew you…”
“Think I haven't tasted my own cum before? Boxers off,” Jack said.
Robby scrambled to get his boxers off. He was still hard and pre cum had collected at the tip. Jack pulled him in for a kiss, tongue exploring his mouth. Robby still tasted sour and a bit salty, but Jack didn't mind. It was pretty hot and his cock gave a valiant twitch but he wasn't a teenager anymore.
Jack grabbed Robby's cock and with practiced ease started to stroke him. After a few minutes Robby was bucking into his hand and biting into his lips. This wasn't superstar Dr. Robby, but desperate, needy Mike.
“That's it baby, take what you need,” Jack said, his lips close enough to brush Robby's as he talked, “Next time you'll be inside of me. You'll be fucking me so hard, giving me exactly what I need.”
Robby grabbed onto Jack like he was going to fall. He started shaking before Jack felt the telltale warmth on his hand. It painted his wrist and lower stomach as Robby made deep, guttural noises.
“That's it, sweetie. Give me all of it,” Jack whispered.
Finally Robby came down, panting and covered in sweat. He hit Jack's shoulder. “I fucking knew it “
“Knew what?” Jack asked, offended.
“You’d be great in bed. It's there anything you're bad at?” Robby asked like he hadn't just given great head without practice.
Jack pretended to think for a second, “Soccer.”
“God took your leg to give us mere mortals a fighting chance.”
Had anyone else said that, Jack might be pissed. He definitely wouldn't but be laughing along.
“Well this god needs to shower,” Jack said, pulling away to grab his crutches. He had both their cum on him and lube still drying in his crack. “Then you can shower then we can do whatever you came here to do. Why are you here?”
Robby shrugged and said, “I brought that book you wanted to borrow. I just got off shift and your off today so I figured we could-”
“Have a date night. Got it,” Jack teased.
“I guess so,” Robby said, going beat red.
Jack made it into the bathroom and showered as quick as he could. He came back and ushered Robby to do the same. He changed the sheets and got into bed. He didn't know what Robby wanted, but Jack personally could use some more skin to skin contact.
Robby came back with a towel around his waist that was quickly tossed in the hamper when he saw Jack was under the covers. He climbed in and started to cuddle into Jack. He paused before putting his head onto Jack's chest.
“This ok?”
“Of course, baby,” Jack said, watching Robby's cheeks light up at the nickname.
Robby curled into him, head cradled on Jack's chest. Jack started petting his hair and Robby made no complaints. They were quiet for a while and it was nice. He hadn't felt this relaxed in a while. He always felt good around Robby though. Fuck after Miles' was done with him he had planned to call Robby and make the night perfect by hanging out with him.
“You're the best part of my day,” Robby whispered.
“You save lives for a living.”
“And lose some. That feels like gambling every single time. You feel like peace. Like…home,” Robby said, his voice starting to shake.
“I love you too. I always have. That takes whatever shape you can handle.”
“I think I can handle this,” Robby said, surprising Jack. Jack did know that when Robby loved, he loved hard and he was willing to accept what came with it.
They lapsed back into silence. Jack wasn't tired, it was nine pm, normally two hours into his shift, but he was content. Maybe Robby would fall asleep, getting that rest he desperately needed.
“Did Liz really peg you?” Robby asked out of nowhere. Jack had to make his brain reboot before he could answer.
“Yes,” he said honestly, “We both were fans, so it was in the rotation pretty often.”
“I'd love to watch someone peg you,” Robby said offhandly like he hadn't just spewed some incredibly kinky idea.
“Your sexuality is going to be fun to unravel.”
“I thought you said I was this demi sexual thing,” Robby said with a hint of a pout.
“You can be more than one thing,” Jack said.
“As long as I'm your thing,” Robby said while yawning like it wasn't the sweetest thing in the world. Fuck, Robby was relaxed and honest post orgasm. Jack planned to see this side of him a lot more often.
“Are you ever the one…on top?” Robby asked his fingers tracing circles in Jack's skin.
“Yea. You wanna try anal?”
“I mean you make such a big fuss about it. Might as well see what the big deal is,” Robby said and Jack growled low in his chest.
“Get some sleep and maybe I'll show you.”
“Yes, sir,” Robby teased.
Robby went quiet and Jack listened to him breathe. He could get used to this. He wanted to get used to this. He tightened his arm around Robby and sent a prayer up to the universe. He wanted to keep this one. He had to keep him. What he had learned though was that every moment mattered so he focused on this one. The universe became the sound of Robby breathing.