Work Text:
In another life, Will thinks. Where you’re not such a dick and I’m not so pathetic, maybe I’ll meet you away from all of this.
Maybe I’ll see you in a wedding like it’s a classic lovers’ meeting and I’ll smile at you because you smiled at me and maybe we’ll stand across the room. With you on the bride’s side and I’m on the groom’s and our eyes will meet in between conversations with friends and colleagues, or over the rim of our champagne glasses and maybe you’ll still think I’m so fascinating and I’ll think you’re so handsome and fine and what would you smell like with that white rose tucked under your collar.
Maybe you’ll say hi and I’ll say hello and we’ll exchange numbers.
In another life -
Maybe you’re still a surgeon and I bring some guy who was injured while I was on patrol and you’ll have to hold me back because you want to ask questions and I stand there watching you command the whole room with ease and respect and practised politeness and I fall in love a little. Maybe when you catch up to me afterwards, we share a coffee I get us from the vending machine and we talk and I tell you everything you need to know and you smile at me and I fall in love with you more and you think I’m crazy when I ask you out for a real coffee in a real cafe that doesn’t taste like grains and dirt but you say yes anyway.
Because you’ll always say yes to me.
In another life -
Maybe I’ll see you at a party. Some vague gathering organised by frat boys from different colleges and I’m there because I was dragged by someone else. You’re there because we’re meant to meet and I find you amidst the crowd. Away from all those noises and chatters and hollerings. I find you in some quiet place where there’s just the two of us holding a cup of questionable drink each, and you say hello because you’re always polite and I offer you a cigarette which you decline. We stargaze like two young adults who think they know everything but truly nothing and we act like the world is out to get us but we’re still not running.
Maybe I don’t ask you out and you don’t either. Maybe we won't ever meet each other again after that night but I think I’ll remember. Because it’s you and I always remember you.
In another life -
Maybe you don’t survive that night in your parents’ house. Maybe it’s you they feed to Mischa and maybe I never meet you at all.
In another life -
Maybe I never breathe after they fish me out of that lake. Maybe I don’t celebrate my thirteenth birthday.
Do you think we still would have met anyway?
In another life -
Maybe our childhoods are intertwined. Maybe I will meet you as soon as I’m out of my mother’s womb and you’re slightly older or maybe we share the nursery room and we grow up together and I love you even before I know what love means because it always feels that way with you.
As if my end and beginning was you, and every seed of my emotion was planted by you, watered by you and meant for you and I thought I hated you. Christ. I thought I hated you so much but even then I only ever loved you and -
Do you think you feel the same?
Do you think you could have loved me the same? With all my flesh and bone and blood, all my sad beginnings and tragic endings even when I drag you down this cliff and I’m sorry to bring death to your door but I love you so and I cannot do this anymore. But -
“It’s beautiful."
Isn’t it?