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Remus is grading papers when he hears the door slam open downstairs, nearly jolting out of his skin, wincing when it slams closed again so loudly that the surface of his tea ripples.
He drags his attention away from the truly abysmal essay in front of him as he listens to the sounds of Sirius stomping around, incensed muttering audible even over the soft music he has playing, and the biggest giveaway that he’s had a bad day is that he isn’t calling out to Remus. Normally when Sirius gets home he seeks him out immediately, kissing him breathless and asking about his day despite the fact they keep up near constant correspondence through text, coaxing Remus away from his work and into a cuddle on the sofa before they make dinner together.
He turns off the radio as he rises from his chair, abandoning his grading for the night as he makes his way downstairs from his office, finding Sirius standing in front of the kitchen sink with his hands braced against the basin. Every line of his body is tight with tension, back heaving with each breath, and Remus frowns as he walks forward and gently lays his hands over his hips.
Sirius flinches, sucking air through his teeth and nearly pulling away from him before he melts backwards, leaning against his chest as Remus wraps his arms around him. “Hi, Moons.”
“Hi, baby,” he murmurs, brushing a kiss to Sirius’ cheek, hooking his chin over his shoulder as he holds him tightly. “Bad day?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Sirius grits out, squeezing his eyes closed, sighing when he nuzzles the side of his head. “I’m just glad to be home.”
Remus hums out his agreement, wondering what could have possibly gotten Sirius this riled up—though his family, his least favorite university professor who is always giving him shit, and his own occasionally cruel brain are all safe bets—but he won’t ask about it until Sirius has calmed down and is ready to talk. Instead he presses his lips to the little pair of antlers tattooed in the hollow behind his ear before asking, “What do you need right now?”
It’s not always cut-and-dry with Sirius, as Remus has learned over the last few years of their relationship, the two of them getting off on the wrong foot so many times at the beginning that he worried that everything was going to fall apart with the much younger man he’d fallen for. He’s learned to ask now what he needs when Sirius gets into one of his moods, rather than taking it upon himself to try to fix it, and the answer is rarely the same.
Sometimes he needs to be alone, to lick his wounds in peace before he seeks Remus out like a dog that’s been kicked. Other times he just wants to be held, or to run off the tension that’s making his body tremble beneath Remus’ hands, or to vent to James on the phone, and sometimes…
“I want out of my head,” Sirius says, words coming out on a breathy sigh, tipping his head until it gently knocks against his. “I don’t want to think anymore.”
“Okay, baby. I can help with that,” he whispers, breath catching in the back of his throat when Sirius shivers in his arms.
He loosens his arms from around Sirius’ waist as he kisses his cheek again, skimming his palms up his sides to his shoulders, down the length of his arms to where his hands are gripping the sink, having to give them a gentle squeeze before they loosen and fall to his sides. Sirius follows along sedately when he laces their fingers together and gives him a little tug, into their bedroom where Remus cups his cheek to guide him down into a soft, lingering kiss before he starts to strip him out of his clothes.
“I can undress myself,” Sirius grumbles, despite the way he’s holding his arms up like a child so that Remus can pull his t-shirt overhead, stopping him when he starts to kneel to unlace his boots. “Your knees, Moons, I’ll handle that part.”
Remus kisses him again before he steps away to let him finish undressing, keeping one eye on Sirius as he gathers a few supplies for tonight, an appreciative sound brewing in his throat at the sight of Sirius’ muscled back and round arse as he kicks off his pants and flops down onto the bed face first with a groan. He starts to roll over until Remus stills him with a soft hand on his lower back, eyes cloudy and unfocused when he glances over his shoulder with a questioning look, swallowing roughly before he scoots up the bed and relaxes onto his stomach again.
Remus undresses before he climbs onto the bed beside him, knee cracking as he swings it over his body to straddle his thighs, and Sirius gasps in a breath beneath him when his half hard cock settles in the crease of his arse. Remus pays it no mind, though—his own arousal is not the focus right now, but he’s just a man and the sight of Sirius bare before him never fails to get him excited, even though he sees him naked every single day—gathering Sirius’ hair into a loose bun that he secures with one of the ties that are scattered around their house and reaching for the things he’d set at the end of the bed, moving them within reach.
He starts with touch, drawing little circles with his thumbs at the base of Sirius’ skull and running his hands down his back, feeling his way down both arms and giving his hands a squeeze before moving upwards again. When Sirius lets out a stuttered breath, eyes sliding closed, Remus can’t help but to smile, rubbing his back soothingly and tracing his fingers over the lumps of his spine. Sirius lets out a low groan when he hears the spark of the lighter, muscles rippling beneath his skin as he tenses and then relaxes again, fisting both hands in the duvet as Remus lights the half used candle in his hand.
When they’d first started seeing each other Remus had been scared to take things too quickly. He’d gotten a sense of the things Sirius liked from the night they met—being introduced randomly through a friend of a friend at a house party where neither of them knew the host, sparking an instant connection that Remus couldn’t quite believe at first, unsure why the gorgeous man more than ten years younger than him would even give him the time of day, and the end of the night had found them crammed into Sirius’ single bed at his flatshare riding Remus like his life depended on it—but it didn’t take long before Sirius was eagerly demanding more. They’ve explored quite a few kinks together, finding some that they both thoroughly enjoy, as well as some that they don’t, but this one had caught them both by surprise.
Sirius hisses at the first drizzle of wax across his shoulder blade—the temperature already carefully checked on the inside of Remus’ wrist—the sound turning into a low moan as his pale skin flushes pink. Remus runs his thumb through the puddle of warm fluid, the candle formulated for massage purposes, rubbing it into his skin before he tips it again and lets a larger puddle splash down the length of Sirius’ spine.
Remus pours some of the oily wax into his palm and sets the candle on the bedside table, rubbing his hands together and ducking down to kiss the nape of Sirius neck before he sits up and smoothes both hands over his shoulders, digging his thumbs into the tense muscles. Sirius groans quietly as Remus starts massaging his back, slowly relaxing beneath him until he’s almost boneless, a little moan slipping from his throat with each drizzle of wax on his skin. Remus paints him with it, watching his skin bloom red before he works the oil into his skin, moving off to the side so that he can dig his fingers into one leg and then the other, the air in the room smelling sharply of lavender when he finally turns his attention to his arse.
Sirius’ back arches with a filthy moan when Remus tips the candle one last time and lets the wax splatter across his lower back and arse cheeks, which he takes a moment to enjoy the debauched sight of before extinguishing the candle and setting it off to the side to cool, dragging another moan out of him when he sets to massaging his glutes. Sirius has started rutting against the bed, hips twitching in a bid for friction as Remus thoroughly massages his arse, and while normally he would tell him to be still with a sharp smack on the crease of his thigh tonight his entirely about Sirius and his pleasure, getting him out of his head as requested.
“How are you feeling, baby?” Remus asks, smoothing his hands up the length of Sirius’ back and lowering himself until his chest is pressed against his back, trailing kisses from the nape of his neck to his cheek. “Pads?”
“S’good,” he slurs, turning his head to the side and catching Remus’ mouth in a sloppy kiss, lips sluggish against his own. “Wan’ more.”
“Use your words, baby, what do you want?”
“Your cock,” Sirius sighs out, which Remus is very on board with, kissing him again before he sits up and reaches for a rag to wipe his hands clean.
The noise that Sirius lets out when he hears the cap of the lube bottle click open goes straight to Remus’ groin, cock throbbing and angry over being neglected for so long, and he strokes himself just once to take the edge off before his slick fingers creep between Sirius’ legs. His hole flutters beneath his fingertips as he spreads the lube around, digging his knuckle into his taint just to hear Sirius moan again, and Remus takes a steadying breath before he slowly breaches him with one finger.
Sirius opens for him beautifully, relaxed enough that his finger slides into him with almost no resistance, and it takes almost no time at all before Remus is pressing a second against his rim and then a third, other hand gripping Sirius’ hip to hold him in place as his fingers twist in and out of his body. He considers a fourth for a single moment, just to push the way they both enjoy, but decides that it’s not that kind of night, dragging his fingers over Sirius’ prostate and reveling in his reedy whine as he pulls them free.
“Alright, baby? Need a break?”
“Need your cock,” Sirius slurs, struggling to raise his hips off the bed when Remus gives his side a little tap, melting over the pillow once he’s stuffed it beneath him. “Need you.”
“You have me,” he murmurs, squirting more lube onto his fingers even though every part of Sirius’ back is slick now, lining his cock up as he lowers himself down to nip at the nape of his neck. “I’m right here, baby. Take a deep breath for me.”
Sirius obeys instantly, the air catching in his throat as Remus starts to press in, letting out in a trembling moan when he fully sheathes himself inside in one smooth stroke. He stills there, hips pressed against Sirius’ arse, ignoring the slight twinge in his thigh as he mouths at the side of Sirius’ face until he turns to kiss him. The position isn’t great for his shoddy joints, which is why they rarely use it, but Remus couldn’t stand the thought of asking Sirius to move when he looked so relaxed beneath him, nor could he resist how tight Sirius would feel around him, legs pressed together tightly between his own thighs.
“Move,” Sirius rasps, licking into his mouth, clenching down around him so hard that Remus thinks he could come just from that alone. “Moony, love, please-”
“I’ve got you,” he responds, bracing one hand against the bed and pushing himself up just enough that he’ll have the leverage to move, wrapping his other arm around Sirius’ chest to hold him in place as he drags his hips back and rolls them forward again. “I’ve got you, baby.”
The pace he sets is slow, not so much thrusting as he is grinding into Sirius, digging deep with each roll of his hips. Their bodies make a wet noise each time they come together—lube and massage oil and sweat smearing between them—just barely drowned out by the strangled moans that fall from Sirius’ lips each time his hips meet his arse and the quiet grunts rumbling in Remus’ throat. Sirius feels like fucking sin around him, clenching down around him every time he withdraws, and Remus can’t help but to thrust a little harder, to suck a mark that’s sure to bruise onto the side of his throat.
Sirius is whining beneath him, begging, nonsensical words that slur together as he arches his back and tilts his hips to meet every thrust, clawing clumsily at Remus’ wrist as he drools onto the sheets. He loves Sirius when he gets this way, loose and hazy, bone-deep satisfaction thrumming through Remus’ veins to be the person to make him feel this way; to be the one to put that blissed out, cock-drunk expression on his face. Some days he still can’t believe that Sirius wants him, chooses him, filled with so much love for the man beneath him that he has to lean down to bite the meat of his shoulder so that he doesn’t do something ridiculous like scream.
When he starts getting close he starts putting more intention behind his thrusts, pushing himself up and angling his hips until Sirius cries out beneath him, holding that position even though his arms are shaking. He wants to make Sirius come before he does, moving to reach beneath him to take his cock in hand, until he realizes that he probably doesn’t need to, sparks racing down his spine as he recognizes the breathy pitch that has entered Sirius’ moans.
It takes less than a minute before Sirius is clamping down around him, letting out a breathless wail as he presses his face into the pillows, and it’s only then that Remus lets himself go, managing a few more sloppy thrusts before he’s spilling deep inside him. His whole body is shaking as he lowers himself down, stretching out on top of Sirius and wrapping him in his arms, pressing his face into his hair as he tries to catch his breath.
“I love you,” he whispers, smiling when Sirius garbles out something that isn’t actually words, but he recognizes the cadence of it anyway. “Feeling better, baby?”
“S’much,” Sirius slurs, turning so that his lips are pressed to Remus’ bicep, looking like he could fall asleep at any moment.
But as much as Remus wants to let him doze off right now, he knows that they’d both be unhappy in the morning—covered in sweat and lube and oil—trailing kisses across the side of his face before he murmurs, “Come on, baby. We have to get cleaned up.”
“In a minute,” Sirius responds, so he grants him that, as well as an extra five, holding him tightly until Remus finds himself dozing off and decides that it’s time to get up.
He leaves Sirius in bed as he climbs to his feet and pads into the bathroom, cranking on the shower and tossing one of those aroma therapy things that Lily says are calming beneath the spray, setting out a pair of clean pajamas for them both before he makes his way back into the bathroom. Sirius looks so peaceful like this, sprawled out across the bed with one arm tucked beneath his head, and if Remus was a younger man—or a stronger one—he’d scoop him up into his arms, but instead he lays one hand on his lower back and bends to kiss the top of his head.
“C’mon, Pads. The shower is ready for you.”
Sirius grumbles as he slides out of bed and makes his way into the bathroom on unsteady legs, Remus taking a moment to admire the way his arse jiggles as he walks before he strips the bed, putting on clean sheets and deciding they can live without a duvet cover for the night, moving to join him in the shower. He steps in behind Sirius, looping both arms around his waist and pressing his face between his shoulder blades, smiling when Sirius reaches back to clutch at Remus’ hip, holding him close.
They eventually wash, Remus digging his soapy hands into Sirius’ hair even though he never manages to do it right, sharing soft kisses beneath the water until it starts to run cold. His phone buzzes as they dry off, so Remus quickly dresses and makes sure that Sirius is alright before he darts downstairs, grabbing the bag of chinese takeaway that’s sitting in front of their door, bringing it right back up to their bedroom.
Sirius is sitting on the end of the bed by the time he makes it there, dressed in his pants and an old jumper of Remus’ that he’s had since secondary school—bought by a well meaning relative who thought he’d grow to be much taller than he is— with his hair still dripping down his chest, giving him a smile that widens when he spots the bag in his hand. “You ordered dinner?”
“I didn’t think either of us would be up for cooking tonight,” he responds, kissing Sirius because he can’t not kiss him when he looks so soft and lovely and freshly fucked, their lips sliding together until his back starts to ache.
Remus lays out a towel before he sets the bag on the bed—because while come will wash out, they’ve learned the hard way that curry sauce will not—adjusting his pillows to lean against while Sirius scoots up to settle on his side of the bed. They pass containers between them, chopsticks that Remus is still hopeless with despite decades of practice, and he lets Sirius take a few bites of his food before he asks, “Do you want to talk about anything?”
Sirius sighs, looking resigned when he raises his head, though his lips curl up into a smile when Remus reaches up to thumb away a bit of sauce clinging to the corner of his mouth. “My mother called today. It was the same old, same old, really. I shouldn’t have let it get to me the way it did, I just-”
“Hey, no, don’t do that,” he murmurs, leaning over to kiss the hinge of his jaw, breathing in the soft scent of Sirius’ shampoo. “Your mother is an awful person, who says awful things, and you’re allowed to process that however you like. You also don’t have to answer when she calls. You don’t owe her anything.”
“But I shouldn’t-”
“Baby,” he says softly, something like guilt passing over Sirius’ face before he shudders and turns, tucking his face into the crook of Remus’ neck. “It’s okay. However you feel, no matter what, is always okay.”
“I know.” Sirius sniffs and sits up, lips curling into a little smile when their eyes meet, leaning over to brush their mouths together. “I know. Can we just- I just want to forget about it for now.”
“Yeah, of course.” Remus kisses him again before he leans to the side, sorting through the random detritus that has spread from Sirius’ bedside table to his own, finally finding the remote for their seldom used bedroom telly tucked beneath one of his books. “Here, let’s find something to watch.”
Sirius nods and takes the remote, stealing another kiss as he does, flipping through their various streaming services until he finds some comedy show that he’s apparently heard good things about. The take out containers eventually get moved to the floor once they’ve eaten their fill, Sirius scooching over until he’s laying between Remus’ legs with head resting against his chest, and he fights with the blankets before he manages to get them pulled up over them both, wrapping his arms around Sirius and pressing his lips to the top of his head.
“We should go out this weekend,” he mumbles, nosing at Sirius’ hair, which is drying into loose waves since he didn’t take the time to dry it properly. “It’s been awhile since I’ve had the chance to take you out on a proper date.”
Sirius’ head tips back, eyes heavy-lidded and a wide grin on his face, nodding before he turns to press a half-kiss to the center of Remus’ chest. “Yeah, Moons. I’d like that.”
When Remus realizes that he’s started to doze off—Sirius snuffling sleepily against the front of his shirt—he turns the telly off as well as the lamp, regretfully nudging him over onto his side of the bed. Sirius drags Remus with him, grabbing at him with clingy hands and bundling him into his chest, curling himself around his back and pressing his face against the nape of his neck. Remus just lets himself be arranged, more than happy to be the little spoon tonight, wishing he would have thought to put their phones on the charger before he got back into bed but that’s a problem for the morning.
He lays his arm over Sirius’, fingers curling loosely around his wrist, murmuring a quiet I love you that’s returned with a kiss to the cluster of freckles on the back of his neck that Sirius has always seemed particularly obsessed with. He listens to the sound of Sirius breathing, evening out after just a handful of seconds, his sleep-addled mind thinking that he’d be able to pick Sirius out of a line-up just from that sound alone. He makes a mental note to remember that the takeaway containers are on the floor, but he’s liable to step on them anyway, a quiet chuckle shaking his chest when he remembers that he once woke up at Sirius’ old flat with a piece of pizza plastered to his ribcage.
He brings Sirius’ hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of it and thinking about how much he loves the man behind him, sending out a wordless thanks to the universe for putting him in Remus’ life before he lets his eyes slide closed, tangling his legs with Sirius’ as he falls asleep.