Chapter Text
In began to run, pressing his hand against his mouth, the hospital walls already turning into a blur; his entire body was burning fiercely. His physical form was screaming in such agony that his only desire was to hide somewhere immediately and stay there until this heat passed. But the most unbearable part was that heavy pressure in his stomach. He had eaten everything he wasn't supposed to during his lunch break because his hunger simply wouldn't subside; everything kept going wrong during this heat cycle.
When he finally threw himself into the restroom reserved only for doctors, he gripped the door, his body trembling as he collapsed to the floor. He cursed the fact that he had scattered his pheromones everywhere until he reached this point. The first thing he did upon getting up was to lock the door. After hearing the click of the lock, he slumped to the ground, leaning his back against the door as if he had found a safe haven. He grabbed the collar of his nursing scrubs and ripped them off in a fit of desperation, tossing them aside; he didn't care about the dirt or germs on the floor right now.
His only wish was for this heat to end as soon as possible. He couldn't use medication; taking heat suppressants was forbidden because of the heavy antidepressants he was using. When those two medications entered the body at the same time, it was as if an atomic bomb had dropped inside you, and In hated that. Breathless, he brought his hand to his neck to measure his pulse; he did this purely out of a nurse's reflex. His heart rate was incredibly high. He pushed himself off the floor, moved to the sink, and splashed water on his face; his head was spinning disastrously.
Normally, a heat cycle should pass more calmly, perhaps with a bit of writhing before settling down, but for In, the situation was very different. He was going through a terrible period, having recently lost his family in a car accident. When he started psychological treatment to escape this darkness, his doctor had diagnosed him with depression and suggested many ways to overcome it, but In had failed. That was why he was currently using the highest dose of the antidepressants he had started at a low level. This caused his heat cycles to be catastrophic, leading to both a painful process and leaving him without medication. In reality, he could end this pain by finding his Alpha, but for him, everything had already become far too complicated.
Without any clothes on, he looked at his reflection in the mirror with his wet face and flushed skin. There was no escape from this; he felt he deserved to endure this pain. He should have died in that car along with his family, but he had survived, and now God was punishing him this way. While his pheromones were spreading intensely throughout the restroom, he was struggling to hold back tears when the phone in his pocket rang loudly. Looking at the screen, it was Dao calling. He picked up the phone and brought it to his ear with trembling hands.
"Hello?"
"In! Where are you? P’Thap is back from break; it’s almost time for patient rounds."
"Can't you handle it for a while, Dao? Right now, Thap is the last person I need to see."
"I had a fight with Phi last night! I don’t want to talk to him."
"Ahh... Just tell him In will be there in ten minutes, that’s enough!"
"Fine, I’ll tell him. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?"
"I’ll be fine."
In hung up the phone with trembling hands and stared blankly into the sink. Right then, the urge to vomit climbing up his throat was replaced by an unexpected, much more primal jolt. With that scent suddenly hanging in the air, burning his throat, he felt all the blood drain from his body. His eyes widened in horror; the burning fire in his veins was suddenly replaced by a cold shiver that made his knees shake.
No, no, no... This scent, this crushing pressure... It belonged to only one person. Despite all his mind's protests, the moment his body recognized that scent, it began to beg—to become submissive like a cat, to tear down the door and take refuge in that warmth outside. This was his rejected fate standing at his doorstep. As a moan escaped his lips like a sob, that familiar, authoritative, and yet inviting voice echoed from right behind the door.
"In? Are you in there?"
Dr. Thapfah Kittiphokhin... He was not only the doctor In worked alongside professionally every day but also his true Alpha, whom he stubbornly kept rejecting on that thin line between hatred and desire.
In felt himself being drawn toward the door involuntarily and clenched both hands into fists. He didn't want to go to him; he was so tired of comforting himself in Thap's arms every single time... He tried to stand strong, but one hand had already reached for the door handle. He was burning with the urge to touch him, to be near him, but he wouldn't do it—he couldn't. It could be anyone else, but Thap... It couldn't be him.
"In, your pheromones are too strong. You’re making all the Alphas uncomfortable."
In began to grit his teeth. He wanted to curse at him, to cry out "Why does it have to be you?"; but the only reason he was crying now was the sharp pain in his abdomen. He gripped the door tighter.
Behind the door, as Thap cast a quick glance around, he was aware that all the Alphas were being involuntarily drawn here. In had such an irresistible scent that all the Alphas could line up to claim him, or even fight each other for him. In was a very precious Omega because he had never been with anyone before, and his Alpha, Thap, had not marked him yet. This made him an unmarked, untouched Omega; his scent was so beautiful and sharp that even Betas could clearly sense it.
"In," Thap said, his voice a warning. "We need to tend to the patients. Let me in; let me help you."
When In opened his mouth to speak, the only thing that came out was a powerful moan. His whole body was shaking; he wanted to break the door down and pull Thap to himself, but In endured. Thap was always surprised by this scenario that repeated every heat cycle. This boy's stubbornness was so extreme that Thap took a deep breath. He understood In; he had lost his family recently, and worse, he had seen their death coming. He had fallen into a heavy depression afterward and was still struggling with it even now. Thap understood everything, but the only thing he didn't understand was why In refused to accept him despite being his Alpha. Thap had thought about this a lot, and he was angry with In because of the answer he found.
In was literally refusing to accept Thap as his Alpha because of his admiration for Thap’s ex-lover, Wan. It was a joke of a reason, but that was the exact truth. In had been running away from him since the day he found out Thap's ex was Wan. Thap knew that no matter how much he ran, In would eventually come back to him because he was his Alpha.
Hearing the moans from behind the door, seeing the clock on his wrist ticking incessantly, and noticing the growing number of unsettled people nearby, Thap took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a key and inserted it into the lock. After unlocking it, he tried to push, but he met great resistance from the other side. Knowing In was right behind the door, he tried to be gentle as he forced it, but In wouldn't allow it. Thap still maintained his composure and opened the door slowly, just enough to slip through. When he glided inside and closed the door behind him again, his eye color suddenly changed in the restroom overflowing with In’s pheromones. He swallowed slowly and knelt down. First, he wanted to lift In from that cold floor, but the young man was practically burning up.
"In? In?" he checked, but In was delirious; he was on the verge of losing consciousness. Thap leaned down and wrapped his arms around In’s naked, hot body, pressing him tightly against himself.
---
In didn't know how long he had stayed like that, but when he came to, he realized his arm was numb and he couldn't even feel his legs. In a moment of panic, he pulled back. Thap... He was in Thap’s lap. They were both sitting on the restroom floor.
Thap was leaning his back against the cold wall, his usual upright and proud posture gone, looking at In with his head tilted back. His white coat was wrinkled, his shoulders slumped with the weight of the internal war he had endured. His eye color had deepened like a pitch-black well, and a hungry, searing desire had settled in his gaze; every breath he took turned into a wheezing rasp that strained his ribcage. That man, who usually stood like a mountain, was now shattered by his own will in the face of In’s pheromones.
"I’m sorry," In said suddenly, and as he tried to pull himself together out of guilt, Thap’s large, veined hand caught him like a claw and pulled him back. When In’s head fell hard against Thap’s wide chest, which was rising and falling fiercely, Thap’s trembling fingers settled into In’s hair as if protecting a precious jewel. As Thap buried his face in In’s hair, trapping that tart scent in his lungs, his voice turned into a whisper that sounded almost like a plea.
"Just give me a few more minutes."
With his hands on Thap’s chest, In could hear his rapid breathing. He was feeling better now; all his pain had receded, and even his body temperature had returned to normal. In tried to help Thap come to his senses by snuggling in a bit more. Whenever he entered a heat cycle, even if Thap wasn't in heat at the time, he would show similar symptoms because of In. Since they weren't together, it took a very long time for both of them to calm down.
In’s mind went back to that first moment he realized Thap was his Alpha. He had felt so vulnerable. The first doctor he had been assigned to as a nurse was Thapfah Kittiphokhin. Knowing he was Dao’s brother, In thought his job would be easy; and because of Thap’s successes, he was quite happy to be working with such a good doctor. So, he had entered the room with all his excitement, tidying and cleaning the room they would share before Thap arrived. The moment Thap first stepped into the room, they both understood the situation immediately. They both noticed; they both felt that staggering bond.
Still, for a long time, they hadn't voiced that they were each other’s Alpha and Omega. It was only when In entered heat for the first time that they both clearly understood the reality. At that moment, although In was actually very ready to be marked as Thap’s Omega, Thap hadn't done it. He had only held In tightly, just as he was doing now, and waited for his heat to pass. Thap hadn't marked him; because if he marked In, it wouldn't be a problem for himself, but In could never escape it. No matter where In went, no matter what he did, even if he fell in love with someone else, he could never be free because of that seal on his body. Thap knew this and that was why he had left In be. Whenever In truly wanted it, whenever he truly fell in love with Thap; only then would Thap mark him. In, however, had completely misunderstood this situation. He thought Thap was still in love with Wan, that he still hadn't gotten over her. That was why they couldn't truly become each other’s Alpha and Omega.
After Thap came to his senses, he slowly withdrew his hands from In’s hair and leaned his head against the wall again. Because Thap couldn't fully mate with In and tried to soothe In’s heat every time by just staying beside him, he showed symptoms of being in heat almost three or four times a month. And because he had sworn not to suppress it with medication, he struggled immensely. Yes, he was a doctor, but by not taking medicine, he was literally warring with his own body. Because he knew that as he took medicine, his strength would decrease, and then he wouldn't be able to help In properly. Thap couldn't accept that. If necessary, he would endure heat pains ten times over, but he still wouldn't take those pills. To be able to help In, he had to stand strong and remain as pure as In.
He had already made a wrong choice once by dating Wan and "tarnishing" himself; he had no intention of getting tarnished again. Thap wanted to deserve In’s pure cleanliness. Neither of them was with anyone else, they touched no one, but because they couldn't reach each other either, everything continued in an inextricable, tangled mess.
---
When he stepped out of the heavy, suffocating air of the restroom, the sterile cold of the hospital corridor hit his face like a slap. Thap walked toward his own office with heavy steps, trying to clear the foggy waves in his mind. He paused as he grasped the doorknob; his fingers still carried the warmth of In’s hair, and his mind yearned to stay in that cramped space. He took a deep breath, tried to straighten his shoulders, and opened the door to go inside.
Inside, he didn't expect to see Kan sitting across from his own chair. Thap glided into the room with his usual flawless doctor image completely shattered, his tie loosened and his shirt collar open. After collapsing into the opposite chair with all his weight, he leaned his head back and took a breath that burned his lungs. Kan, on the other hand, sat in the chair with a relaxed and confident manner, turning random objects on the desk over with his fingers.
"The whole hospital is talking about you guys again," Kan said, without taking his eyes off the pen in his hand. "I got curious; I came to check on you."
Thap threw his head back and waited like that for a while. It had passed... The only thing he did inside that tiny restroom was hold In tightly. Because In was tensing himself so much, his body had become stiff. Thap’s scent had slowly unraveled him, and then In had pressed his lips against Thap’s hand in a delirious state. While inhaling his skin and scent, he had sometimes stuck his tongue out to taste Thap’s skin; but Thap had just stood there without doing anything. Thap wouldn't touch him; he would let In do everything until he came to his senses, but he himself would never lay a hand on In.
Even though Kan said, "You should give up on him now, look at the state you're in," Thap ignored him. He closed and opened his eyes, meeting Kan’s gaze with a sharp look.
"Did you want something, Kan?" Thap asked.
"I just came to tell you again and again that you need to get rid of In," when he said this, Thap only smiled and shook his head.
"That’s never going to happen," Thap said.
In was his Omega. That was enough for Thap. Maybe they had never approached each other the way lovers do, but Thap still loved In. He loved him very much, more than anything... His love for his In was immense. That was why he endured all this and waited for In to come to him of his own accord. He wanted In to fall in love with him with the same passion, and he was always willing to wait for that sake.
Soon after, the door opened and In entered; he had shed that shaken state and returned as Nurse In, focused on his duty. As he moved toward his desk, he shot Kan a sharp look, as if saying "I loathe you." Even as he sat in his chair, he didn't take those angry eyes off him.
As In opened the file in front of him with a flourish, he said, "Dr. Kan, if you aren't sick, please don't steal time from other patients." Although his nursing scrubs were slightly damp and his hair was a bit more disheveled than usual, his professional discipline and upright posture were perfectly in place.
Kan replied mockingly, "The ones actually stealing time from patients are you; you’ve kept them waiting at the door for exactly ten minutes."
In said without breaking his stride, "None of them are emergency cases, Dr. Kan. They are all patients under our long-term follow-up."
"As always, you have an answer for everything, don't you, In?"
"Yes, I have an answer for everything."
Kan straightened up in his seat and lowered his voice: "Then you’d better prepare an answer for yourself regarding Thap as well."
In’s fingers froze on the file.
"What do you mean?"
Kan leaned a bit more toward the desk; his voice was no longer just a warning, but like a poisonous whisper seeping into In’s mind.
"You don't realize how much you're hurting him, do you? As an Omega, you only know the pains you suffer and you call that 'agony.' But you're wrong, In... Alphas carry every single scream, every single cramp of their unmarked Omegas in their own souls. Do you think Thap just held you while you were writhing in that restroom? Every second, he breathed your hell along with you; he turned his own body into a battlefield because of you."
In’s fingers gripped the edge of the file with such fury that the papers crumpled under his touch. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he lowered his gaze to the file; his eyes had filled with tears, but he wasn't going to let them fall. Gathering all his strength to suppress the tremble in his voice, he tried to maintain his hardness:
"Dr. Kan, please don't waste your breath. I'm sure you have patients of your own to attend to."
Meanwhile, Thap sat behind his desk like a statue, unmoving. His gaze moved slowly over this poisonous bickering in the room. He could see how every one of Kan’s words was opening cracks in In’s armor, and he felt the protective Alpha beneath his ribcage straining at its chains. But he chose to remain silent; clenching his jaw, he tried to maintain that dull doctor mask on his face. Still, the dark, restless glint in his eyes told everything.
Sure that he had created the desired effect, Kan stood up with a mocking smile. He headed for the door with heavy steps, stopping as he grasped the handle to look back over his shoulder one last time at In, and then at Thap, who remained silent:
"Run along then, In, let's see how much longer you can keep running."
When the door slammed shut with Kan’s departure, the heavy silence hanging in the room reached an unbearable point for In. In turned to Thap with fury and an uncontrollable trembling. His eyes were sparkling with anger and disappointment.
"Why don't you say a single word to him, Dr. Thap?" he shouted, his voice echoing in the room.
Thap continued to sit behind his desk, hands joined in front of him as if nothing had happened. But his knuckles had turned white from how hard he was clenching his fists. He turned his gaze slowly to In; his voice was ice cold but carried an underlying burn.
"What can I say?" he said, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "Kan only spoke the truth, In. What do you expect me to object to when it's the truth?"
In continued to speak, his face flushed red with anger. "You know the answer to everything about us!" then he picked up a pen and tapped it on the desk. "You are so authoritative and sharp with everyone, and I told you what came up in my tarot reading about Kan—he’s a bad person." When Thap was about to roll his eyes but caught himself, In pointed the pen toward him. "Exactly you are the person who should put Kan in his place, why are you staying silent?"
Thap leaned forward slightly in his seat. Even this simple movement was enough to make the air in the room turn heavy instantly. He fixed his eyes on In’s; his voice took on that deep, unshakable tone that penetrates the soul.
"Tell me, In, exactly what should I say to Kan?" he asked, choosing each word carefully. "Should I tell him 'In hates me and won't accept me because my ex-lover is Wan'? Is that what you want to hear?"
In paused for a moment under the weight of this sentence but didn't back down. He squeezed the pen so hard... He was barely holding himself back from throwing it at Thap.
"No! You should have just told him... 'What is it to you, he's my Omega?'!"
This sentence had come out of In’s lips like a bullet and hung in the air of the room. Thap’s eyebrows raised slightly; a faint but searing curiosity leaked into his voice and onto his usually expressionless face. Leaning back slightly in his chair, he scanned In from head to toe.
"My Omega?" he repeated, his voice as low as a whisper but just as possessive.
In felt himself being crushed under the weight of the sentence he had just uttered, his heart straining against his ribcage, but he didn't back down. Tilting his chin up and defying those deep black eyes, he asked, "Is it a lie?"; his voice trembled, but he was challenging him.
A half-smile, dangerous and never seen before, appeared on Thap’s lips. The dark glint in his eyes deepened further.
"True..." he said, dragging out the word. "You are my Omega."
"Then you will tell him exactly that!" In insisted, trying to hide the heat rushing to his face.
Thap began to slowly turn the silver pen on the desk between his fingers. When he took his eyes off the pen and fixed them back on In, the man behind that unshakable doctor mask had started to smirk.
"Alright," he said in a calm voice. "Should I only tell Kan, or... can I tell everyone?"
With this question, In felt as if he had been struck in the brain. The air in the room suddenly became unbreathable, and Thap’s gaze pinned him where he stood. Noticing he was cornered and had fallen into the trap he dug himself, he snatched the file on the desk with fury. Pressing the file to his chest to hide his trembling hands, he headed for the door with large strides.
"Do whatever you want! Seriously, you're impossible to deal with!" he grumbled; his voice was both angry and far too embarrassed. As he grasped the doorknob, he added without looking back: "If you're ready, I'm calling in the first patient."
Thap answered without taking his gaze off In: "Of course I'm ready."
An elderly aunt entered, carrying the exhaustion of years in the wrinkles of her face. Thap had pushed the stormy tension he had just experienced with In into the darkest corner of his mind in an instant, putting his flawless and polite doctor mask back on. As he got up from his desk to accompany the woman to the examination chair, his tone was as soft as velvet.
In, meanwhile, tried to hide his burning cheeks from the effect of the previous conversation, preparing the blood pressure monitor with trembling hands. As he leaned down beside the woman and wrapped the cuff around her arm, those intense, sweet, and comforting pheromones trapped in the restroom involuntarily continued to leak into the room. In wasn't aware of it, but his presence had overpowered the sharp hospital smell, leaving behind a magic reminiscent of spring branches.
The old woman watched In perform the checks with eyes full of admiration. Then she took a deep breath and affectionately stroked In’s hand. "Oh, my child," the woman said, with a sincerity that filled the whole room. "What a fascinating, what a peaceful scent you have... I've seen many Omegas over the years, but I've never seen one as elegant as you, one who smells so pure and beautiful. I wonder what a lucky man the Alpha who gets you is; you are a priceless treasure..."
At that moment, time in the room stopped. In lowered his gaze, not knowing what to say to the woman's praises, his heart beating in his throat. However, right then, that heavy and determined voice coming from the other end of the room sliced through the entire atmosphere like a knife.
Thap slowly placed the file in his hand onto the desk. Even the sound of the paper touching the desk was enough to deepen the silence in the room. With heavy steps, he approached the woman and In with his mountain-like majesty. In felt his Alpha approaching in every single cell, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. Thap stood right in front of the old woman and looked into her eyes without taking his gaze off In for even a second.
His tone carried neither a shout nor anger; it was just filled with a reality so unshakable, so irreversible that it could take on the whole world. He uttered that sentence, which seeped into every corner of the room and to the deepest point of In’s soul, as if whispering yet drowning the entire room in silence:
"He is my Omega."
The blood pressure monitor in In’s hand almost fell to the floor. By saying these words, Thap hadn't just answered the woman; he had declared the title of that unsealed fate to Kan, to the ghosts of the past, and to In himself. When In raised his head and looked into Thap’s eyes, he no longer saw just a doctor, but a hungry and indispensable Alpha shouting his ownership to the world. Now there was nowhere left to run, no lie left to take refuge in.