Work Text:
3rd person pov
before wemmbu had gotten banned again on the lifesteal SMP, he had fired one last nuke, one last attempt to be the cause of chaos before he was gone...
one last chance for him use his godlike powers..
he had implement a law earlier that made their server hardcore, meaning if someone were to die, they were gone forever...
now, it had only been a few months since ashswag had killed squiddo during the orbital cannon arc and things between them has been messy ever since.
squiddo has avoiding him and so has he after that incident. they grew so distant despite being inseparable before and there was no doubt they both missed each other dearly.
however, neither of them could bring themselves to talk to the other first!
squiddo was ashamed of betraying her dearest friend like that...the thought of even destroying something he cared about? The thought that she could've potentially killed him because of something she helped created?
It clawed at her mind endlessly...
she knew he had every right to kill her too, hell she was even she was okay with it, accepting it with open arms even if it did hurt!!
She remembered the face he had wore that day when he had found her next to the machine. And that made her heart ache when she saw the pain she had caused him.
she couldn't face him anymore... not after what happened...not after how she hurt him...not after the fact that she could've killed her only friend...not after she tried destroying what he cared about..
ashswag on the other hand felt so guilty for killing her like that, especially when she was trying to apologise! he didn't even let her finish her sentence before brutally stabbing her on impulse...
he knew his actions were justified. it was the right thing to do, wasn't it? Everyone kept cheering him on to do so, people were cheering him on to kill his best friend. Some friends were cheering him on to kill his best friend... However, despite all the reasons he reasoned with himself to justify his actions, the guilt was eating him alive...
seeing the way she walked away from him like that without saying a word...? that stung...
she was his best friend after all! usually they would make up after conflicts pretty quickly, but this? It dragged on for ages... Not once had he killed her! well at least after getting married to parrot... But besides that, he never killed her again!
he usually was able to kill with no remorse whatsoever, however when it came to her?
his heart ached with immense pain.
He had promise to protect her back then, to not let her get hurt but he broke that promise himself.
he really thought that she hated him after that.
he had never seen her like that before...
it was so different..
that day...
~
she walked away without a word... he was worried because squiddo wasnt one to do that? well, at least not to him? he really hoped that she would forgive him...well at least talk to him later on.
[ashswagg whispered to TheRealSquiddo: im sorry]
[TheRealSquiddo whispered to ashswagg: its okay]
Thats was it.
That was all that she had sent.
normally anyone would think it was fine but this was squiddo he was talking about!
no emoticons, no nothing...?
he was so sure she hated him for what he did to her.
maybe she needed space, and so that was exactly what he gave her
~
however that was months ago and neither of them has spoken to each other since...!!
well that was until now... until that one last nuke had been striked.
that nuke had killed and permanently banned jumper, pentar and most importantly...
ashswag...
he was gone..
ashswag was gone...
her best friend...
the person she cared the most for...
was gone...
and she was devastated...
they didnt even had the chance to talk things out yet!? they haven't even spoken to each other for months! How would they ever be able to talk again now that HE was gone...!?
her closet friend...was gone...
And she wasn't even strong enough to do anything to help! hell, she couldn't even fight even if she wanted too!
there was nothing she could do could bring him back...
days had passed on and because there wasn't a god on the server anymore, hardcore couldn't be turned off.
The once loud and lively server was now silent as ever.
no one could do anything about it. No one could do anything about it, especially her friends who were banned off the server...
if only she could somehow find a way to bring them back.
if only she could somehow protect the lives of the people left. To anyone left that she could've possibly cared about.
if only she could be strong enough to do something about it
she would be happy...
the graveyard only grew bigger day by day and the server only grew quieter.
She spent her days visiting places she used to go. places she used to go with ash
She sometimes strolling at spawn, looking at the once lively place, now completely in ruins and abandoned.
Sometimes she stayed by ash's grave, talking to him for hours before finally heading back to her home house
One day as she stayed by ash's grave, an idea pop inside of her head.
It was better than doing nothing, a plan she was willing to give it a shot, even if it might fail.
she would bring him back at whatever cost, whatever it took to get him back
after all, she was willing to do anything to talk to him again
anything to revive him from the dead...
anything...for him...
so she ventured out. exploring the world while desperately trying to find a way to bring back ashswag.
A way to bring back her ash
and finally on one fateful day, just as she was losing hope, she stumbled across something odd.
On an island, there was an allay in a boat holding a heart at the carnival..?
What made this more weird was that whenever squiddo tried absorbing the heart, her game kept crashing...??
How odd...
She then had asked branzy, the owner of the carnival, to try what she did and everything works perfectly fine for him.
What was going on??
why was it only her who kept crashing whenever she tried to use the hearts?
what was different about her compared to everyone else??
and then it clicked.
back when they were working together on the orbital strike cannon, wemmbu had commissioned a special client mod which allowed him to backdoor the server and change game rules without any admins noticing.
She, wemmbu and 4cvit had been using a different client than the others
her mind started piecing things together and eventually, it didn't took long for squiddo to snatch wemmbu's godhood into her own hands
she had became god..
her plan worked out so flawlessly, it was as if it was too perfect!
things were going to plan!
things were finally going her way!
she was strong.
she was no longer the weak minecraft player who couldn't defend herself no matter what!!
she could finally protect and save the people she cared about!
she could finally save her friends!
she could bring them back!
she could save HIM!
RIGHT!?!
R̴̨̩͕̖̫͕̐Ì̸͓̝̽̓̈́͆̆G̷̞̜̫̈͂̌̃̀́̔̒͝H̶͚̅͋̓͑T̴̛͈͔͍͊̽͒ͅ!?
𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙...?
thats what she had thought before things went south...
it...
wasn't working...?
she couldn't bring him back..?
why couldn't she bring him back!?
she had tried every single command endlessly yet nothing worked...?
panic was starting to set in
nothing she tried managed to bring him back...
nothing brought him back...
its been months now since his death and she still couldn't get over it
she couldn't get over the fact that ashswag was gone..
that her ashswag was gone.
she had tried over and over again to bring him back.
spending months on end hopelessly trying to find ways to bring ash back.
just to bring back her best friend she missed oh so dearly...
she was in denial...
she refused to give up
there had too be a way to get him back, no?
~
months flew by and each failed attempt was driving her insane...
she felt angry.
angry because she was losing her friends
angry at the fact that all her hard work couldn't bring him back.
angry that she couldn't do anything to change the fact that he was gone.
angry because she lost him...
what was the point of being a god if she couldn't bring people back!?
what was the point of going through all that trouble only for her to be unable to bring back the people she cared about!
she gain godhood after countless of nights figuring how to gain powers
only for her achieve it and and in the end not being able to achieve her main goal.
bringing back ashswag..
~
day by day flew by and now even her mind was driving her to insanity.
so many what if scenarios ran in her head.
things she wished she would've done differently so that maybe
just maybe..
things wouldn't had ended like this...
she was bargaining.
~
sorrow, pain, guilt...
that was all she felt.
each day drags on, painfully slow while she dreads getting out of bed.
She didn't want to get out, didn't want to do anything.
it felt like a chore...
everyday felt like a chore
every holidays that passed wasn't celebrated anymore.
she couldn't do it...
not without him...
it didn't felt right celebrating anything without him by her side...
all she wanted was to talk to him one last time...
she missed him
she missed him so much...
she missed her best friend...
she regrets not talking to him.
not talking things out like they usually did.
she regrets avoiding him.
and perhaps she regrets not confessing
there was a saying after all.
"you only miss it when its gone"
seems like the saying was true.
only now she realised how much he had meant to her
only then she had realised how much she had liked him...
all she could do was sigh and keep pushing through her days dreadfully..
the happy go lucky squiddo that everyone loves wasn't feeling herself anymore
she felt lost...
she felt empty...
she felt depressed...
~
it was finally christmas on lifesteal and the server was partly active again.
people were finally accepting their friends deaths, finally moving forward.
finally coming out and interact with one another again.
squiddo didn't talk much to the remaining members but she was slowly warming up to them. It was something at least, an improvement after months of isolation.
she spent that evening on the balcony of her house
alone while watching the sun set in the distance...
one she used to watch often with her best friend...
she takes a deep breath as the golden glow of the sun shines down on her.
she finally lets herself breath again...
for once in a very long time since her best friend was gone...
she smiles softly at the memory she once shared with him
ones she treasures dearly.
ones she holds close to her heart.
she felt happy again for the first time in months...
as the sun sets while the snow falls onto her hair
she lets out a soft sigh while looking up at the sky, sipping her hot cocoa
she had finally accepted the fact that he was gone...
she accepted the fact that ash was gone and there was nothing that she could do to bring him back.
maybe in another lifetime they would've still been together. maybe even more
but in this?
perhaps they weren't meant to be.
she lets herself rest, enjoying a view they once shared
sure she still missed him dearly, but for the first time in awhile, she was able to breath.
A weight she carried wasn't as heavy as it was anymore..
she had finally accepted his death...
she finally had let herself breath...
she felt a feeling she had long forgotten
she had never felt so free again in a very long time.