Chapter Text
No one else was allowed to enter the room after Dandy had shown up, bulky figure shoving toons out of the doorway only to slam the door right in their concerned faces. Everyone who had been on that run had gathered outside the room and the commotion of all their shouting and worried questions only brought more attention from everyone else until all the toons who weren’t currently busy had more or less filled the entire hallway outside the door.
Those who had been on the run and lived until the last floor were the first to be waiting outside the door. Astro, Yatta, and Shelly were there when Looey had gotten hit and lost his last heart, but none of them could explain exactly what happened the moment he did.
All they could say was that Shelly had been boosting Yatta to finish the last machine and even though they were both just out of sight, somehow Twisted Astro must have seen them because he ignored Looey looping him and tailed it over to where the girls had been working. Looey had used the last of his stamina to grab the Twisted’s attention and just as Astro, who had been watching from a hidden distance, came through to quickly replenish Looey’s stamina, Twisted Astro had let out a screech so unnaturally high-pitched that it had everyone cover their ears out of fear of losing their hearing.
In the chaos, the sound of Looey getting killed was drowned out by the machine finishing, the elevator doors opening, and the Twisteds getting even rowdier in their panic. No one had noticed Looey hadn’t survived the floor until they had been packed in the elevator and the doors closed with no sign of him appearing at all. The run ended right there and then, no one willing to continue without a distractor this far down into the floors.
As the doors opened up to the lobby floor and everyone stepped out to meet back up with those who had died on the earlier floors, Yatta was the first to notice Looey curled up on the base of the tree, alone and not moving, which was weird because he should have been on his feet within minutes of being revived. Thinking he was just tired from the run, she didn’t think twice about going over to him to try and startle him awake by shaking him out of his sleep.
When she had grabbed his shoulders to lift him up, and his head had rolled back limply with no signs of him waking, that’s when she started to panic and her cry of alarm had gathered everyone else’s attention. With everyone there to try to see what was going on, and Looey still not waking up with all the noises happening, someone had suggested getting Dandy and that’s when everyone started to realize that something had gone terribly wrong on the run.
Which leaves them where they’re at now. With Yatta restlessly pacing outside Looey’s room while Blot stands in front of the door blocking off access to anyone else trying to get in. Astro had stayed inside the room with Looey to try and see if maybe he could be coaxed out of his dreaming, but when it started to go on for too long without a response that’s when Yatta had been sent for Dandy to get his input. When Dandy had arrived he had barred anyone else from entering and so only him and Astro were the only ones in the room currently.
The rest of the toons who waited outside were nervously shifting around, the murmurs passing between them all centered around the same thing. If something like this has never happened before, does this mean that the Twisteds were evolving? Or are the toons now more susceptible to being harmed by them in more ways than just dying?
“Rodger, what do you think happened?” Shelly quietly asked, the two of them not far from the circus duo guarding the door.
Rodger had been quietly observing everything that had been going on, and refrained from jumping into asking too many questions as he noticed how agitated Dandy and Yatta had looked when they had arrived together. He didn’t want to be on the receiving end of their anger if he asked them the wrong thing at the height of their stress. Taking a deep breath, he lowers his voice so just the two of them couldn’t be overheard by anyone else.
“I’m not entirely sure without knowing the full story, but something tells me that Astro had a part to do with it. Entirely unintentional, I’m sure,” He adds quickly, noticing the apprehension on her face. “Astro has gone on runs with Looey more consistently than most of you other mains, we all know this. Whatever happened out there wasn’t his fault, but…”
“You think it happened anyways as an accident?” Shelly guesses, her expression turning serious as she thinks back on those last few moments before Looey had died. “Everything happened so fast… maybe none of this has anything to do with Astro?”
“I understand you two are friends,” Rodger says gently. “But the only outlier here is that Astro had supposedly used his powers to help out and it must have clashed with whatever his Twisted counterpart had done. It could be a mix of both their powers combining for the first time in such a way, or this is completely new territory we are exploring.”
“Regardless,” He says as they both watch the door open slowly, Astro slowly peeking from behind the door. “We’re about to find out.”
“Astro!” Yatta nearly crowds the doorway and into the dream toon’s space, Blot siding up next to her without question. “Is he okay? Can we see him??”
Astro had hesitated, glancing behind them nervously as the rest of the toons in the hallway had gathered a bit closer to hear what he has to say. Swallowing, Astro says, “We need Cosmo and Sprout here. He’s still not waking up.”
“I’ll go get them! Their run should be over by now!” Shelly volunteers quickly as she dashes out of there, eager to help out in any way she can. Astro watches her go with mild worry, turning his attention back to the two in front of him.
“I’m sorry you two, but please wait until Sprout and Cosmo get here,” He’s trying hard not to wither under their intense glaring. “I promise, when they get here you can both-”
A loud yelp and what sounds like a chair crashing from inside the room startles everyone, making Yatta and Blot push their way inside without a second thought. Astro stays standing in the doorway and Rodger, who never misses an opportunity to solve unanswered questions, just manages to make it to the doorway at the same time as Teagan.
They both watch, right over Astro’s shoulders, as Looey was sitting up in bed being squeezed tightly by Yatta and the back of his head being patted by Blot. He looks confused, but perfectly fine. You wouldn’t have guessed he was comatose for the past couple hours by the way he had been carried into the room earlier. Dandy straightens up after knocking over the chair, placing it back in place as he slips over to where Astro was standing, his normally cheery smile dimmed as he shares a wordless look with Astro.
“We-! We were so worried!” Yatta cries, her voice choking up as Looey pats at her back absentmindedly. “You wouldn’t wake up! And-! You-! Don’t DO that again!”
“I’m sorry guys,” Looey says weakly, trying for a smile while Yatta continues blubbering more nonsense at him. “I don’t know why I was out for that long. It just felt like I was taking a nap.”
“.amoc a ni erew uoy ekil dekool yllaretil ti esuaceb taht ekil tlef ti dalg er’eW (We’re glad it felt like that because it literally looked like you were in a coma.)” Blot gently bops the top of his head as Looey lets out a snort of laughter. “.senihcam diputs esoht no krow nac uoy dna tcartsid nac I emit txeN (Next time I can distract and you can work on those stupid machines.)”
Rodger feels Teagan let out a sigh of relief and he’s also just about to excuse himself from the room when Looey suddenly looks down and starts patting around his bedsheets looking for something.
“By the way have you guys seen my ring anywhere?” He asks, detaching himself from Yatta’s hug as he moves to lift his pillow to check under it. He doesn’t notice the confused look his friends share, nor the way Astro and Dandy had frozen in place.
“Ring? What ring?” Yatta asks, quickly getting off the bed as Looey tries to search under her leg to see if maybe she was sitting on it.
“What do you mean what ring?” Looey rolls his eyes at her with an amused huff. “My wedding ring? Ring any bells? Haha!”
The little laugh he lets out at the joke sounds amplified in the silent room.
Rodger hears next to him the strangled gasp Teagan lets out, his own choked noise stuck in his throat. Nobody moves as they watch Looey stand up from the bed to pat down his pockets. He’s moving perfectly fine, and their speech was normal, not slowed down by a mental injury. So why…?
“Seriously guys, were did I leave it?” Looey gives up looking in his pockets and holds out his hand to Blot, whose one eye was wide with something like fear. “It’s nice of you to hold it while I was out but I’d like it back please.”
“Looey?” Rodger doesn’t think he’s ever heard Yatta’s voice come out so quietly. She steps up to place a hand on Looey’s arm, the fabric under her hand tightening from her grip. “Looey, you don’t have a wedding ring.”
“Huh?” Looey’s eyebrows furrow, as though he couldn’t understand what she had said. As though he’s never heard that sentence before. “What-?”
“You’re not- Looey you’re not married to anyone,” She says slowly, her other hand going to his other arm to better stress how serious she was being. “My name is Yatta, this is Blot. We’re your friends and we used to be in the circus-”
“I know who you are!” Looey smacks her hands away and takes a few steps back, glancing back and forth between Blot and Yatta as though they were the crazy ones here. “Why are you guys acting weird? Why are you lying? Where is my husband anyways? Are you guys playing a prank on me?”
“Oh no,” Astro whispers, his blanketed hand coming up to cover his mouth as Dandy moves forward, the panic growing on Looey’s face alarming them all as he starts hyperventilating.
Teagan grabs at Rodger’s arm and he lets her drag him out of the room, the door slamming shut on the scene of Looey backed up against the wall, his eyes bright with unshed tears as Dandy has his hands out to him as though to calm down a feral animal.
“Did he say-?” Rodger barely gets the words out before Teagan shoots him a sharp glare, the sentence falling dead at such a vicious look. She turns that same look to everyone who had been trying to move closer to see a hint of what was going on.
“This doesn’t involve us anymore,” Teagan announces to everyone, straightening her feather boa and smoothing down the wrinkles in her dress. “Everyone go back to your day, this is no longer something for us to see.”
“Aw, come on! What even happened in there anyways!” Gigi complains from the back, waving a careless arm out and nearly jabbing an elbow into Finn’s eye. “Why’d it sound like Looey was freaking out?”
“Yeah! And what’s he missing?” Finn adds, his toothy grin sliding off his face quickly when he’s suddenly on the receiving end of the most piercing scowl anyone’s ever seen on the normally composed teacup toon. Both he and Gigi tense up as Teagan turns slowly to look at them. The rest of the toons in the hallway start to sweat nervously the longer she remains silent.
“Looey needs some privacy while he recovers,” Teagan says quietly, every word they say its own command as everyone snaps to attention. “If I catch any of you here still lingering by the time I count to five, you will know how upset I can really be.”
She hadn’t even finished her sentence before a majority of the toons nearly trampled each other trying to be the first to leave the area. In seconds the entire hallway was deserted, the echoing sound of the elevator doors closing in the distance. Rodger almost wants to whistle at the impressiveness of it all, but then he catches sight of the haunted look on her face and he turns serious once more.
Teagan lets out a sigh, her fingers stroking the feather boa around her neck as though to comfort her. “I suppose I can’t ask you to wait until he’s ready to talk for you to ask him your invasive questions, can I?”
Rodger lets her jab slide, mental pictures and notes popping up in the corkboard he has in his mind as he slowly strings the pieces together. While he still has questions to ask, especially since what started out as a simple inquiry about evolving Twisteds just turned into something beyond what any of them were expecting, he knows asking anything right now would just make the situation worse.
“Even I know when there’s a limit to asking questions at the wrong time,” He says. She raises her eyebrow at him and he nods his head back to the closed door, the sounds behind it muffled but recognizable. Someone is crying. “This is that limit.”
Teagan closes her eyes as the sounds of more sobbing can be heard through the door. Several voices can be heard talking over each other, but nothing distinct can be filtered through. She dabs at her wet eyes with the tips of her fingers, letting out a shuddered exhale before blinking rapidly.
“I was…” She pauses as a wail was heard before being cut off abruptly, the grief of it understood without needing to be said. Her voice shakes when she continues. “I was going to wait for Sprout and Cosmo to arrive and maybe explain the situation but I-I’m afraid, with how everything is turning out, that I can’t handle-”
“Teagan,” Rodger cuts her off gently, handing her his handkerchief as she uses it to catch the falling tears on her face. “You don’t need to explain. I’ll wait here for the others to arrive and let them know what’s going on.”
“I can see how affected you are by this,” His tone is soothing as he watches her try to stop her tears. It’s always difficult seeing a beautiful woman cry. “Go ahead and rest in your room. I’ll stop by later to update you on what happens here.”
Tucking her feather boa closer around her, she sniffles as she nods, bidding him a quiet goodbye before leaving him standing there alone. Her room was all the way at the end of the hall, one of the few rare toons to share a floor with the circus trio, which thankfully meant she wouldn’t be able to hear any more distressing noises coming from Looey’s room.
Leaning against the wall, Rodger lets his mind race as he goes over theories and ideas of what all of this could mean. Looey waking up and remembering someone- his husband- who doesn’t exists? Unless he does exist, but their marriage hasn’t happened yet? Or Looey had lived an entirely different life when he was unconscious? Is that what happened when both Astro and his Twisted counterpart had used their abilities at the exact same time?
He feels a headache pulsing behind his eye and Rodger clamps down on the urge to press closer to the door to eavesdrop on whatever conversation could possibly be occurring in the room. He’s better than that, regardless of how the curiosity burns in him.
The elevator dings and he looks up just in time to see Sprout round the corner, breathless as he sprints down the hallway. Shelly and Cosmo were several steps behind him, looking out of breath but no less concerned.
“Rodger!” Sprout calls out to him as he skids right in front of him. His scarf was unraveling around his shoulders and he was missing his apron. When they had all split up this morning to go on their separate runs, Sprout had been wearing one, as he says it helps him store his cupcakes and tapes better. “Is he still asleep? Shelly told us what she could on the way here-”
Just before he could reach a hand out to open the door, Rodger blocks him with his arm, making Sprout flinch back in surprise.
“Sprout, wait,” Rodger says, watching the way the strawberry main’s face turned stony at being denied access. “There’s something else happening and we can’t go in there yet.”
“Did something bad happen?” Cosmo asks, tangling his hands together close to his chest. “Is Looey okay?”
“Where is everyone?” Shelly asks as well, glancing around the hallway as though just realizing how serious the situation became. “Rodger, what’s going on?”
“Listen-” Rodger tries to say before being cut off by Sprout stepping up close, looming over him as their chests nearly touch from the proximity.
“You better have a good reason why I can’t go in there and heal his missing heart,” The words were threatening but Rodger has dealt with more antagonistic attitudes from the worst of them. Still, he files away in his mind that Looey was missing a heart, despite the fact that when they revive back in the main lobby all of the toons are normally at peak health.
“That’s what I’m trying to explain,” Rodger grits out, standing his ground as Sprout glares harder at him. He can see Cosmo anxiously grabbing at the back of Sprout’s shirt as though to pull him back while Shelly looks nervously at the three of them. “Looey woke up but something is wrong with his memory and we can’t go in there yet. It’s already crowded in there and we’re going to make it worse.”
“His memory? Did he forget what happened?” Shelly brings a hand up to her mouth, worried eyes wide as Rodger sighs dejectedly.
“No, but… it would have been better for him if he did,” Rodger has just enough space between him and the door to step right out of distance from the hands that try to grab at him. Sprout looks furious as he tried to strangle Rodger, barely being held back by Cosmo grabbing him around his waist and Shelly wrapping her arms around one of his outstretched arms.
“Rodger don’t say shit like that!” Cosmo grunts as he holds Sprout tighter. He shoots a glare up at Rodger. “That sounds so insensitive no matter how you explain it!”
“But it’s the truth,” Rodger straightens his suit before leveling them with a hard stare. “Because the memories he woke up with didn’t happen, and he’s in there right now being told that whatever life he was living in while he was unconscious wasn’t real. So forgive me if I don’t feel like sugarcoating my thoughts to that.”
His admittance to what Looey was going through seemed to affect something in them, if the stricken look on their faces were anything to go by. Sprout lost the fight in him, going slack in Cosmo’s arms as even Shelly let go to cover her mouth with a gasp.
“Does he remember any of us then?” Her voice shakes as she asks. Rodger shakes his head at her.
“He didn’t seem startled by the rest of us in the room. Yatta and Blot of course were there and he was talking to them like nothing had changed, though, it could be that he was still feeling the effects from being unconscious for longer than necessary…” He trails off here, easing up slightly as Sprout seemed to calm down at the sudden news.
“Then who’s in there right now with him?” Sprout asks, not apologizing for almost attacking Rodger, much to his annoyance. “How many people are in there that you can’t let me or Cosmo go in to check on him?”
Before Rodger even gets a word out, the door behind him quietly opens, startling the four of them as Astro peeks his head out. The star main jumps a bit at having all their attention on him, but he clears his throat as he steps out of the room, firmly shutting the door behind him.
“He’s requesting some time away from the ichor operation as well as some space,” Astro says quietly. The blanket he’s always covered in seem to bunch up around his throat, and his hands were clasped in front of him. “Dandy will be out soon. They’re going over some last minute questions.”
“Dandy’s in there?” The scowl Sprout had could have burned a hole through the other toon but Astro just hums, avoiding looking at the obviously displeased expression on the strawberry main’s face. “What the hell does he know about helping something like this?”
“Sprout, calm down,” Shelly’s warning goes unheard as even Cosmo seemed reluctant to speak up at that.
“Dandy needed to know how this happened and to see if this was going to be a reoccurring issue,” Astro says as he steps up next to Rodger, further blocking the way to the door.
“And is it going to be another issue?” Rodger slides him a questioning look. Astro just shrugs his shoulders miserably.
“We’re not sure,” He admits. “From what we learned from Looey, nothing was out of the ordinary from before he died to when he woke up, until… well…”
The look he and Rodger shared only lasted a second but it was enough to irritate Sprout.
“There’s something you’re not telling us,” Sprout steps up closer to Astro, their heights the same but Sprout’s broader shoulders gave him the illusion of being more imposing. Cosmo holds Shelly back with a shake of his head, the fossil main biting her lips to keep quiet as they watch the scene unfold. “Just how bad is it that you can’t tell us what it is?”
“If I’m not telling you,” Astro’s quiet voice had an underlining steel to it, the hard look in his eye telling Sprout to back off. “It’s because I’m protecting Looey’s privacy from someone who would make the situation worse.”
“Who the hell-” Sprout’s snarl was cut off as Dandy opens the door just in time to catch Sprout grabbing at the front of Astro’s blanket. The wide smile Dandy was wearing stayed on his face but the redness growing in his pupils was the only warning Sprout had before things could get even more violent.
Reluctantly, Sprout let go of Astro and took several steps away from him. Cosmo and Rodger both let out sighs of relief while Shelly and Astro watched as Dandy came around to the middle of them all. His steps were joyful and he seemed relaxed about the whole ordeal, even having his hands in his pockets to give off the air of someone who was taking an afternoon stroll.
“Good news and bad news folks!” Dandy beams at them. “The good news is that our favorite balloon toon will be making a swift recovery after a little vacation away for a while! Just taking a mental break, as I had so graciously suggested.”
He preens at that as though he was the principle of a benevolent caretaker. Sprout rolls his eyes as even Rodger had gotten annoyed at that, coughing a bit before asking Dandy, “And the bad news?”
Blinking, Dandy’s smile dimmed slightly as he reached up to scratch at his cheek. “Well, the bad news would be that we have no way of knowing if this is going to happen again, or if it was just a one time thing. I would suggest doing a trial test run but obviously-!”
He waves a hand out at all of them, indicating the entire situation they were in so far. “Obviously, things could become a lot worse than remembering someone who doesn’t exist.”
Shelly startles at that, pointing straight at Dandy with a shocked look on her face. “Is that it?? Looey was remembering someone who doesn’t exist??”
Astro whips his head towards Dandy with an irritated look on his face. Dandy wilts under his glare, nervously rubbing his hands together.
“Ah- Oh that’s… that’s my fault entirely,” Dandy mumbles, shifting his eyes everywhere and nowhere all at once. “Haha… I thought you two might have told them already?”
Rodger runs a hand down his face, groaning in exasperation. “Obviously not, Dandicus.”
“Was that what happened?” Sprout asks, eyebrows furrowed as he grabs the rest of their attention. “Looey remembers someone who wasn’t real? Who were-”
“That’s enough,” Astro cuts him off, the finality in his voice leaving no room for objections. “Too many of us know too much about it already and Looey’s the one going through something none of us can help him with.”
“Cosmo,” Astro turns to Cosmo, making the pastry toon jerk in surprise. “You can go in to heal Looey but don’t ask him any questions, please.”
Cosmo hesitates, looking up at Sprout’s angered face before ducking past everyone and into the room. The door closes softly, leaving the rest of them in an awkward silence. There’s an odd divide between Astro and Sprout that Rodger hadn’t realized was there before. He had no point of reference to know if it’s a recent development of if it’s how they normally are. It’s not often that the two of them go on the same runs anymore, and Rodger is slowly starting to see why that is.
“I could have easily healed him just as well,” Sprout grits out, eyes never wavering from Astro’s steady ones.
“Without your missing apron, holding whatever heals you didn’t give to Cosmo already?” Astro replies, amusement curling in his words.
If Rodger had a jaw he was sure it would be on the floor already. Instead he sees his shock being reflected in the face across from him as Shelly’s jaw drops instead, looking back and forth between the two taller mains. Sprout’s hands tighten into fists at his sides and he lets out a harsh bark of laughter, disbelief on his face as he looks at Astro as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Oddly brave when Dandy’s here,” Sprout says harshly, goading him on as Astro just tilts his head slightly.
“Oddly confrontational when Looey’s involved,” Astro shoots back. Sprout doesn’t even have a second to respond before Dandy laughs suddenly, slapping Astro’s back and jostling him out of place.
“Astro! Buddy! Settle down here!” Dandy chuckles as he easily steps between the two mains, making the space between them bigger by just standing there. “No need to take lessons from me on how to get on Sprout’s last nerve, we all know how easy he is to rile up!”
“Rodger!” Dandy cheerfully turns to Rodger, breaking the tension, or rather ignoring it really. “If at any point Looey goes to you for, well, any reason in particular, do let me know if his situation changes for the worse please!”
“Yes, of course,” Rodger replies, immensely relieved to get the hell out of whatever weird thing was going on here. Dusting off the front of his suit of invisible lint, he tips his head at the rest of the mains in front of him. “I’ll leave the rest to you then.”
He turns and swiftly walks away. They don’t ask why he’s going the opposite way of the elevators but the answer was obvious as the only other room down this end that was occupied was Teagan’s. Knocking on her door, he has a split second to glance back and see Sprout and Dandy having a heated argument before Teagan’s door opens and she steps back to let him in.
Bracing himself for the upcoming difficult conversation, Rodger wonders at how different everything is about to become. Of course things weren’t going to go back to normal, nothing ever does even if they themselves never really change, but something of this magnitude couldn’t escape not having any consequences. Looking into Teagan’s reddened eyes as she has him sit across from her at her tea table, he wonders even more if this entire situation would only reopen wounds they all tried to move on from in the past.
---
The next dozen or so days passed slowly. Only those who knew the absolute truth of what happened kept quiet and refused to tell anyone else about it except to tell them that Looey had an accident and was taking a break to recover. Blot and Yatta took turns taking Looey meals from the kitchen, not willing to force him to leave his room or to do anything he didn’t want to. People had a lot to say to that but one snide remark from Shrimpo about it in front of Yatta nearly resulted in her mauling him so the topic was quick to be hushed up in front of her and Blot.
Nobody had seen Looey at all during his time away. If he took showers or did laundry, it was in the dead of night where nobody but his friends were able to help sneak him around. Tisha had been told prior before that she didn’t need to stop by their rooms as often, as Blot and Yatta mostly stayed inside Looey’s room and so their own spaces weren’t as messy or needed any cleaning. She had plenty to worry about, mostly at the state of Looey’s room with the three of them in there, but she kept her concerns to herself.
Rodger stopped by only once to offer a voice to talk to but was quickly turned away by Blot, who told him to mind his own business and if Looey felt like talking it would be at his own time. Rodger took it gracefully, bowing out and apologizing before leaving with a quiet goodbye. He won’t delude himself into thinking that Looey would turn to him for anything when he has his friends to talk about his thoughts to. They weren’t close to begin with but he cares, and ultimately that’s what he hopes his actions convey by not pushing or insisting Looey talk to him when he’s not ready.
Cosmo hadn’t told Sprout a single thing that he saw when he had gone in to heal Looey’s missing heart. He simply told him that he went in, offered Looey a healing cookie, and that was it. When Sprout tried to find out details on how Looey looked, all it took was a single, sharp look and Sprout had dropped the subject entirely, despite clearly being miserable about the whole thing. Cosmo would feel bad about not reassuring his best friend about it but he can’t forget how Looey was curled up in bed, blankets covering every inch of him and how Yatta had wrapped as much of her body around him in a tight hug. Blot had sat close by and watched as Cosmo presented Looey with a cookie for him to eat when he felt up for it. The balloon toon hadn’t responded to him, but he reached out and shakily took the cookie out of Cosmo’s hand and Cosmo averted his eyes from seeing any more of the tear stains on the pillows around him.
Cosmo guiltily spent days thinking about who it was that Looey had imagined in his brief coma. Was it someone who used to be here before Gardenview shut down or was it someone entirely new? If it was a toon no one else knew about, then of course finding out they didn’t really exist would have been a huge shock. Mostly though, he wondered how such heartbreak could have led to him losing a heart.
He won’t pretend to understand what that kind of love could do to a person, or how you could feel so much for one person that the reality of them not existing was enough to break your heart entirely. In the recesses of his mind, Cosmo fears ever being in that same situation, and he tries so hard to stop those kinds of thoughts coming up because it was absolutely unfair of him to feel that way when his friend is the one currently going through something like that.
He had stopped thinking about it though, when he caught sight of Sprout going over their cookbooks of food they haven’t made in such a long time. Ever since they started making large quantities of food for everyone to share during their meal times, things like the toons specific dishes only they like were extremely few and far between. Sprout had opened up to the section they kept sticky-noted and color-coded for the circus trio specifically, and Cosmo feels a well of affection for his best friend, who always has issues with being gentle about his attitude but still tries so hard to take care of others.
Looking away in case Sprout noticed him peeking at what he was doing, Cosmo sets aside some time later to go over their supplies and to see if there were anything new they could add to their shipment lists for the next delivery date. He’s been too lax about not making any new desserts and he remembers how Looey always had the most compliments to anything he made with strawberries. It wouldn’t hurt to send him some more specialized items when Blot comes up to deliver him some food. Maybe he could even ask him if there was other stuff Looey might like to eat, if only so to help his recovery better.
---
Looey woke up one morning wondering when he would stop feeling his heart bleed at not seeing his husband sleeping next to him.
His husband that he apparently dreamed up, because he wasn’t married in this world, or wasn’t even with anyone to begin with. His husband, whose last memory he had of him was reassuring him that he’ll see him after their runs were over before kissing him goodbye. Looey knows, on some level deep, deep in his mind, that he’s never kissed anyone like that before, but it had all felt so real.
He slowly stretches out a hand across his bed, feels the empty coolness of the space next to him and he aches.
The memories felt so real that Looey has trouble separating what was the truth and what wasn’t. He thinks if he tries to hold on too long to all of the memories, that in the end it would change how he starts to act around the others.
He already slipped too often in front of Blot and Yatta about what he thought was something they would know, but the blank looks he’d get from them only made him spiral further. They were incredibly understanding, letting him cry out his frustrations and grief for as long as he felt, and they never pushed him for answers on who exactly it was that he was married to in his other life.
But how could he tell them about his husband when they barely interact with him at all in this life? How could he explain how wonderful and kind his husband was when all they know about him in this life is how stern and hardheaded he is when he’s around others.
He knows he’s not really like that, at least, he thinks he isn’t, or well, he hopes he isn’t. The husband he knows from his dreams and the one who isn’t his husband in this world? Looey doesn’t even understand how to begin to separate them when he doesn’t know much about the one in this world, and he knew everything about the other one in his dreams.
His soul yearns and longs to see him, the yawning chasm in his heart threatening to drown him even as he screams so silently for him to come back to him. All this love in him and he has knowhere to put it anymore. He wants to choke in it, because then he’d have proof that it was real and it was all his.
He hears his friend outside his door and he shakily wipes his tears away. The door opens and he sits up as Yatta walks into the room, plates of food balanced in her hands as she eagerly greets him. A tired smile slips out of him as he accepts the plate she hands to him. She settles across from him on the bed, bouncing a bit in place as she excitedly tells him that the group runs had been looking for an extractor and she convinced Blot to go in her place after he lost to her in rock-paper-scissors.
Frowning a little, Looey points out that Blot was terrible on machines unless you count him doing treadmills mostly but even then they didn’t show up on the floors that often early in the runs. Yatta shrugs her shoulders as she says through a mouthful of food that it didn’t matter because he could just play as a backup distractor until the time came for him to do some work.
Biting the inside of his cheek, Looey wonders if him being cooped up and hiding from everyone was doing more damage than good. Looking down at his plate of eggs and toast, he can’t remember the last thing he ate in the dining hall before all this had happened. Honestly, he doesn’t remember a lot of what he’s been eating in his room from the past several days either. He knows his friends care about him enough to bring him food and keep him from being lonely, but he shouldn’t force them to spend their entire time with him either.
Mind sort of made up, Looey quickly eats his food as fast as he can, startling Yatta as he leaves his plate on the side table and gets out of bed to make his way to his closet. Opening the doors, he shifts through his clothes before finding an old outfit he doesn’t remember wearing recently at all and he ducks into his cabinets for his shower items.
“Looey?” Yatta sounds a bit worried as he starts to pile everything into his shower bag. “Are you ready to go outside? Right now??”
“It’s been a bit too stuffy in here,” He says, slipping on his shoes before shouldering his bag. Giving her a tentative smile, he bows out a hand to her as she grins up at him. “And you’re going on that run to make sure Blot doesn’t lose his mind from boredom.”
“Aww, are you sure?” She bounces next to him as they both leave his room for the first time in the last few weeks that wasn’t in the dark of night. “I don’t mind hanging out with you while these runs are going on! Everyone’s been reeeeeally nice about the whole thing!”
Looey doubts most of the other toons are happy that two distractors and an extractor are out of the runs a majority of the time but they keep that snide remark to themself. “Yeah, I think it’s time I leave and walk around for a bit. It should be quiet with everyone gone and I could use the time to visit the library. You know there’s that book I’ve been looking for, so I’m hoping to find it this time.”
“Oh yeah! The Princess and the Pauper??” She keeps her steps in time with his, taking space on his other side while they walk towards the showers at the end of the hall. The hallway was thankfully quiet since while Looey might have been willing to leave his room today, he still wasn’t willing to talk to anyone either.
“Close. It was the Prince and the Jester that I wanted to read,” They reach the shower rooms and he turns to Yatta, stopping her from following him in. “But I’ll be fine for today Yatta, you don’t need to worry. Go keep Blot out of trouble and when you guys are done, maybe we can… I don’t know, go watch a movie? Have snacks and stuff like before?”
His nerves must show on his face because Yatta just hugs him carefully, nuzzling their cheeks together as her favorite form of affection. “I’ll always worry about you silly! You’re my best friend!”
“I’ll follow your orders, oh fearless leader! You just sit tight while your loyal subjects brave the enemy spawn and bring back glorious riches!” She gives him a loud, exaggerated kiss on his cheek and he can’t help but fondly roll his eyes and laugh a little at her antics. Delighted that she got him to laugh, no matter how small it was, she salutes him as she says her goodbyes, waving as she runs away down the hall and towards the elevator to catch up with the group that Blot was heading out with.
Standing there with no one in sight, Looey lets out a long sigh, exhaustion settling in his bones as all the energy it took to get out of bed and up to this point seemed to be zapped out of him. Chewing on his bottom lip, he walks into the showers and locks the door behind him, not wanting to share the room in case anyone else was feeling like taking a late morning shower.
Settling their bag on the counter, Looey fiddles with the shower knobs and while the water heats up he lays everything out neatly and hangs his towel close by. Their mind drifts as he undresses, the clothes they slept in being folded neatly and stacked on the counter with his bag. He goes to remove his wedding ring to leave on top of his clean outfit when their hands come up empty around his finger.
Heart in his throat, Looey stares down at his left hand and feels his tears well up in his eyes. Blinking, fat droplets roll down his cheeks and land on their palm, the shaking in his bones a familiar feeling. How did they keep forgetting? Of course he doesn’t have a ring, he’s not married. He’s not even friends with his husband here-
Clenching his fists tightly, he presses their empty hand to his mouth to bite back a whine. They’re not even friends with the toon he dreamed as his husband, but they know they had small, passing thoughts about them. Thoughts like what it would be like to get to know them more, or if they could maybe find time to hang out or even to share a single run together? Was that was resulted in all this? An innocent intention to better get to know someone only to be hit with visions of a world he will never get to know?
Looey stumbles into the shower stall, the water just a level of too hot to stand but they don’t care because the tile floor was freezing as he slowly slides down the wall to sit on his haunches. The shower head spray rained down on him as he curled around his knees, his hands pressed close to his chest as his tail wraps around his legs. The ache in his veins pulse in time with the pain in his heart as he fails at keeping his sobs quiet.
The days he spent awake were almost always filled with the chatter of his friends as they kept his mind occupied on other stuff. When they would sleep, he wouldn’t dream at all of anything and he would wake up rested but disoriented. He supposes he has Astro to thank for that, as the last time he had seen him the star main had reassured him that his dreams would be empty until he felt better to handle this new reality. Looey still doesn’t know if that was a mercy of kindness or a betrayal of his memories.
Those dreams might have been fake, but Looey wants to believe with all he has that they were real. That the him in another life had a happy, beautiful life with someone who loved him so much that they got married. That he married someone who was perfect, and gentle, and who kissed him like he meant it and wouldn’t have left Looey feeling so alone in a world that they’re not together in.
Their tears blend with the water cascading around him. He’ll get up and properly shower, but right now, they just need to feel the water on him and forget where they’re at for a few moments.
Outside the locked doors, Teagan stands guard, listening to the soft sounds of Looey crying being buried under the shower noise. They had heard Looey and Yatta pass by her room earlier and she hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on their conversation, but when she heard him go inside and lock the door she had crept out to leave her room so Looey wouldn’t run into her in case he wasn’t ready to approach anyone.
It wasn’t until she heard the first sounds of him crying that she decided to remain outside the door and make sure no one else would disturb them. It was brave, that he decided to venture out and try to move past his grief, but Teagan understands very well that grief has it’s ways of creeping up on you when you least expect it. So she stands and waits for Looey to pick up the broken pieces of himself, and when it sounds like his time was up and he started changing and moving his bag around, she quietly removes herself from her spot and goes back into her room.
She hears the shower room door open and close, the padded noise of his footsteps walking towards his room and then faintly disappear. Teagan sits at her table, tea kettle and sugar still left out from when she had made herself a cup to drink earlier. Lost in thought, she glances up at her shelves of teacups all neatly lined up and ready for her to use for whoever she invites to her tea parties. The last one on the shelf catches her eye as she stands up to grab it. Holding it up to admire the shape of it, the dark, woody strokes of the paint that colors the porcelain was very reminiscent of a dark roast of coffee. It was her oddest cup, but her most precious.
Sitting back down in her chair, she gently turns the cup in her hands as she wonders about opening up her table for Looey to maybe have a drink with her. She’s not invited him to share tea with her before, mostly because they were worried about he and his crew making her tea parties too rambunctious. Though, at the state the balloon toon is in currently, maybe a quiet, one-on-one session wouldn’t be so far out of reach. The cup in their hands glint in the light as though winking back at her and Teagan feels her heart pang slightly.
Pressing the cup in her hands to her lips for a gentle kiss, she wonders if she would be ready for when that time comes as well.
---
Looey had to take a break in his room after his meltdown in the showers. He didn’t want to disappoint Yatta if she finds out later that he never made it to the library after all, but he never said he would be there the entire time. A few minutes back in the comfort of his room should be enough for his hands to stop shaking.
He dropped his shower bag on the floor as he sat at his desk, breathing deeply to try and center himself. Normally, he would have at the very least done some journaling to try and separate his feelings to better understand them but with how rattled he’s been with his emotions and his memories being all mixed up, Looey is afraid that he’ll start writing stuff that didn’t happen and he doesn’t need to start sounding crazy on paper too.
Closing his eyes, he tips his head back and wishes it were easier to understand how insane all of this is. He woke up thinking he was married only to find out he isn’t, and now he’s supposed to learn how to live with the knowledge of that love he never actually experienced.
Gritting his teeth, Looey opens his eyes as he stares at the ceiling, thinking that no, of course he did experience it. He did know how that love felt, he could feel in his bones the marks it left and he wants to regret ever feeling it but he knows, with all the absolute certainty of everything he knows in this world and that other one, that he would have given anything to have that love again.
Glancing at the clock on his nightstand, Looey mentally counts the time from when he woke up to now and figures if he actually goes to the library at that moment he could have a couple hours to himself without most of the toons hounding him for answers to his absence. Gearing himself to face the outside, he stands from his desk and wipes his sweaty hands across his shirt, pulling at a stray piece of string off his sleeve while he was at it.
Stepping out his room, he glances around the empty hallway before closing his door and quickly leaving towards the elevator. Jamming the button to send him down, he mentally braces himself for the possibility of running into anyone he wants to avoid and has to accept that even though the chances are slim, they’re never none. Staring at his reflection in the grimy elevator door, his dark circles aren’t as noticeable as he thought. Maybe there were some slight benefits to having a dreamless sleep after all?
The door opens and he cautiously looks around the library entrance, not immediately seeing anyone who could spot him. Walking in further, he aimlessly wanders the edges of the room, keeping out of the more open spaces as he browses the book titles on the shelves. The layout is exactly as he remembers it, which is odd because there didn’t seem to be a huge difference between that other world and this one.
Pausing in front of the science fiction books, Looey has half a mind to maybe start getting into astrology of some sort before he hears the sound of heels clicking on the floor behind him. Whirling around, he’s greeted to the sunny smile of Brightney approaching him from her spot at the help desk. Looey didn’t have time to react before Brightney reaches out to grab at his forearms in a gentle hold, her smile widening as she looks up at him.
“Looey! It’s so nice to see you!” Her excitement at seeing him eases something inside, and Looey didn’t realize how scared he was of people’s reactions to seeing him after so long being out of the public. “I’ve missed hearing your jokes! You know, I’ve been coming up with some of my own, if you can believe!”
She giggles, squeezing his arms once more before letting him go. She was never one to be super touchy so Looey’s a bit bewildered that she was being more comfortable with him than before. Maybe he underestimated their relationship because he used to stop by pretty often for books to read in his downtime and he would occasionally talk with Brightney here and there about nothing in particular, but if his absence made that much of a difference…
“Hello, Brightney,” He gives her a small smile, feeling warm in her company. “It’s nice to see you too. I’m, um, sorry if I was gone too long-?”
“No, no, don’t even think that way!” She reassures him, reaching out to pat his shoulder comfortingly. “I’m just happy to see you around again. You don’t need to apologize or explain anything, I know how important taking some time away for yourself can be.”
“Now!” She claps her hands softly in attention, making him stand straighter. “Did you need help looking for anything? Last I remembered, you were reading up on the fantasy books for a play you wanted to act out, is that still something you were wanting?”
“Oh! Ah,” Looey scratches at his cheek, unwilling to tell her the real reason he was looking for that book and feeling slightly guilty about the lie. “Yes, actually! I was looking for a specific book called the Prince and the Jester? I had seen it in passing a while back and I had completely forgotten to check it out before, well, yeah…”
“Hmm,” Brightney looks away as she has a finger to her lips, deep in thought. “I feel like I’ve seen that book before but I can’t remember where. Let me see if anyone’s checked it out recently first, just so we don’t waste our time looking through the shelves for it to not even be there.”
“Okay!” Looey perks up at that, waving a hand out and bowing at the waist, exaggeration in his movements coming as second nature. “Go on and brighten our way then!”
Brightney lets out a peal of laughter, the sounds of it echoing in the library as she tells him he’s getting better at dropping jokes like that on her. She hides her wide smile behind her hand as she turns away, still laughing as she leads them to the desk where her computer sits. The books stacked all around it are separated in piles by whoever dropped off their stuff to return and be organized and put away later. Looey sees one pile in particular full of cooking and baking titles and averts his eyes quickly, not willing to read further. He still hasn’t gone to see Cosmo to thank him for his healing cookie all those days ago but he’s just too nervous to visit the kitchens any time soon.
“Let’s see here,” Brightney’s voice cuts his train of thought as he watches her scroll through her computer screen, eyes flying through the information she was reading. “It’s apparently a recent book shipment so it’s not completely in the system as being able to be checked out digitally so let me see if anyone wrote it out in the temporary book log.”
She brings out a binder with a list of the toons who had checked out books and left their signature in the margins. Looking for the book title on the list, it takes her no less than a minute to find what she was looking for, but the frown on her face made Looey pause.
“That’s weird, someone checked it out not that long ago but their signature is a total mess…” She murmurs, leaning in closer to the pages to read the illegible writing on the page. “Actually, I’m surprised I even found the title at all when their handwriting is this bad. Maybe I should introduce some writing courses in the near future?”
“Well, it’s okay honestly,” Looey tells her, catching her eye with a timid smile. “I can come back another time to see if it’s back on the shelves, there’s no harm in waiting longer. Thank you for your help anyways, Brightney. I appreciate it.”
“Oh, it’s no problem, Looey! If you want, let me show you where the book would be in case you come by next time and I’m not here to help you out,” She gets out of her chair and walks around the desk, gesturing for him to follow her as they round the corner of the bookcases towards a secluded corner of the library.
Pointing out where the book would be up on the top shelf, she lets him know that the entire bookcase is filled with similar books in case he would like to check out something else in the meantime. Thanking her for her help, Looey watches as Brightney leaves him to his own devices, the light of her leaving him in a dim corner only lit up by the low lamps around the tables in the area.
Trailing his fingers across the spines of the books, he absentmindedly picks out one and settles down in a plush chair as he reads without caring what he picked. Time passes that way, as Looey slowly looses himself in the book he was reading, his thoughts settling down to a buzz as he unravels a world that has nothing to do with theirs. There was something comforting about reading of places that for sure didn’t exist, of rival kingdoms settling their dispute through an arranged marriage and the palace romance that blooms between two people that, despite being forced into it, found love regardless of their situation.
Blinking his eyes from the dryness, Looey was startled to find that it was nearly going to be dinner time and he spent a majority of the day reading without being interrupted. Standing up and stretching, Looey picks up the book and makes his way to the desk Brightney was at to check out the book for a couple days.
Not seeing her anywhere nearby, he pulls the book log closer to him to write in the book title for her to input in the system later when she has the time. Pausing, he glances around before flipping the pages to see who it was who might have checked out the book he wanted originally. He finds it behind the page he just wrote on, which means it must have been a recent check out so it could be days or even a week until he’ll be able to see that book again. Looey tries to see if he recognizes the signature but no one’s handwriting looked familiar like that, and it really was a terrible signature mark, maybe Brightney had the right idea to offer writing classes.
Leaving the book log alone, Looey leaves the library with his new book in hand as he goes back to his room to continue reading. Even though everyone must have finished their runs by now, Looey knew a majority of them would be crowding the dining hall by now and he wants to put off seeing the rest of the toons for just one more day. He wasn’t that hungry, honestly. There were still some snacks left in his room if he really wanted to eat anything.
He’s just reached his floor when he hears his name being called and he turns to see Teagan waving for him. Blinking rapidly, Looey chews on his lips before greeting her, trying to muster a smile when she gets close enough to talk to him properly.
“Hello, Looey,” She says warmly, hooded eyes kind as she straightens the feather boa around her shoulders. “I was just on my way to dinner and I was hoping to speak to you before I go.”
“Oh? Did you need something?” Looey asks, the worry slipping unintentionally in his tone. Teagan just gives him a calm look, keeping her voice low and even just for the two of them to hear.
“I only wanted to offer an invitation to tea, should you ever feel overwhelmed and wanting to talk to someone who could provide you with an outside perspective,” She clasps her hands in front of her as Looey avoids looking at her. “I know Rodger had offered something similar, and I won’t push for you to speak to either of us if you never want to, but please keep it in mind if you ever become too stressed or need a break from everything going on.”
“Thank you, Teagan,” Looey mumbles, holding his book close as he looks down at their shoes. “I’ll, um, think about it, if it’s okay with you?”
“That’s all I ask, dear,” She gently tells him. “I won’t bring it up again unless you do, so there’s no need to worry about that. Just know that I-”
Their sudden pause makes him lift his head. Her brows were pinched together as she bites her bottom lip before sighing deeply. There was a weariness about her that had Looey look deeper at the shadows in their eyes, as he’s never seen this side of her like this before.
“Just know,” She starts again. “That I understand a bit more of what you are going through.”
Teagan leaves it at that, bidding him a quiet goodbye before taking the elevator down towards the kitchen floor. Looey watches her go, feeling conflicted about her offer and deeply curious about what she let slip. He thinks it wouldn’t be so bad to talk to someone who isn’t Blot and Yatta about what he’s experiencing, and if what she says is the truth, then she must have gone through something similar as well. He just doesn’t know if he’s ready to explain how he doesn’t want to forget his husband who never was his to begin with.
Drained from all the thinking and emotions of today, Looey trudges to his room and closes the door behind him before undressing into his sleep clothes. Curling on his bed, he brings his book out and shuts off his mind from the outside world. The romance he reads of wasn’t his story to remember of, and the tragedy in the book was based on political vices only. Overall it was very easy to slip into sleep for once in a long while.
He still dreams of nothing, but at least it was easier to handle when he woke up to an empty bed and not see his husband’s beautiful smile greeting him.
---
The next morning, Looey was greeted by Yatta barging into his room with a quiet shout, not completely scaring the daylights out of him but still making him jump from his desk where he had been reading his book again.
“Looey!” She grabs at his shoulders and hugs him tightly, almost knocking him out of his seat. “We missed you yesterday! Blot and I were going to bring you dinner but you were already asleep and Blot said not to wake you up!”
“,yaw eht yb ,emoclew er’uoY (You’re welcome, by the way,)” Blot says, miming pulling out a chair next to Looey and sitting down like nothing wasn’t currently under him. “.tniop taht yb pu uoy nekow evah dluow yletinifed ehs tsrif ni deklaw attaY fI (If Yatta walked in first she definitely would have woken you up by that point.)”
“Thanks for the save, Blot,” Looey huffs out a laugh, still tired from sleeping.
“Rude!” Yatta throws herself across Looey’s bed and rolls around, making a bigger mess of the sheets strewn around. “Anyways, since you were up for going out yesterday, are you down for eating breakfast out there? We went to check how busy it was and there’s almost nobody left to eat there!”
“,hguoht ot evah t’nod uoY (You don’t have to though,)” Blot tilts his head at Looey, stressing his words. “.yadretsey tuoba gniklat meht draeh I tahw s’taht ,tsael ta ,yad ysae na eb ot desoppus s’tI .yadot snur ruo no og ew erofeb doof emos kcab uoy gnirb nac eW (We can bring you back some food before we go on our runs today. It’s supposed to be an easy day, at least, that’s what I heard them talking about yesterday.)”
Touched by his friends’ thoughtfulness, Looey leans against Blot to knock their shoulders together, giving him a wobbly smile. Blot’s eye closes at him in a cheerful way, turning to give Looey privacy to wipe at his eyes as he tells Yatta to knock it off and fix up Looey’s bed correctly.
“Up or down, doesn’t matter. It’s probably better I force myself to go out there instead of staying in here all the time,” Looey admits, standing up and going to his closet to pick out his clothes for the day. Blot makes a concerned sound at him, while Yatta stops with folding his bedsheets to give him a worried look.
“It’ll be fine guys!” Looey sends a wide smile at them, the edges of his lips straining from not smiling so hard in a while. “Maybe the more I go out and keep my mind busy, the less I’ll stay inside this funk, you know? Think of it as exposure therapy!”
The look Blot gives him tells him he doesn’t think that was a good idea at all, but he doesn’t have an alternate solution that hasn’t been presented to Looey already so he keeps quiet. Yatta had turned back to finish folding up the bed sheets but even through her actions you could tell she agreed with Blot’s unsaid words.
“,os yas uoy fI (If you say so,)” Blot slowly replies, standing up from his ‘chair’ and pulling Yatta with him. “.neht egnahc uoy elihw edistuo tiaw ll’eW (We’ll wait outside while you change then.)”
The door closes behind them and Looey goes through the motions of changing his clothes and putting on his shoes. Taking a deep breath, they ignore the pounding in their chest as he leaves his room. The three of them make idle chatter as they head to the dining floor, Blot asking him what he was reading and Yatta pressing him for more details about the book when his answers weren’t as satisfying. It worked to get his mind off where they were going, and he will always be grateful for his friends knowing just how to take the attention off the situation.
When they get to the dining room, the tables were all emptied out save for a few tables that still had their dirty dishes on them. They settle in a booth that was just out of sight of the kitchen doors and Looey sits with his back to the doors in case anyone wanted to interrogate him. Yatta shoots off to bring them whatever was served for breakfast and Blot sits across from Looey, reaching for a napkin to spread out on the table in front of him.
Looey watches as Blot summons Blot Jr., the little guy doing a wiggling dance much to Looey’s amusement. Reaching out a hand to poke at the paper cheek, Blot Jr. bops his head against Looey’s finger and seemingly nuzzles against it.
“You’re getting better at letting him be more active,” Looey comments, watching as Blot Jr. does a little head twist to look at his creator, nodding his head along as though agreeing with Looey.
Blot lets out a chuckle, waving goodbye to Blot Jr. before letting him melt back into the table. The napkin where he had been summoned on was folded up and pushed to the side, the ink stains of it out of sight.
“,tuo ti yrt ot snur eht no tuo emit eht evah I taht won ,erom gnicitcarp neeb ev’I (I’ve been practicing more, now that I have the time out on the runs to try it out,)” Blot explains. “.taht uoy llet nac I ,enecs fo egnahc a neeb s’ti dna netfo erom elpoep rehto htiw snur ni tup neeb ev’I ,eludehcs eht ffo uoy htiW (With you off the schedule, I’ve been put in runs with other people more often and it’s been a change of scene, I can tell you that.)”
“Oh?” Looey straightens up, not aware of this at all. “What happened with our old team?”
“,ton ro gniht emit-eno a saw uoy htiw deneppah tahw fi tuo erugif yeht litnu smaet eht ffo ortsA peek ot deerga ydnaD dna ortsA tub ,yllaer gnihtoN (Nothing really, but Astro and Dandy agreed to keep Astro off the teams until they figure out if what happened with you was a one-time thing or not,)” Blot shrugs, unconcerned with the whole thing. “.elihw a retfa gnirit steg elpoep wen htiw krow ot gninrael dna dnuora delffuhs neeb s’enoyreve oS .sseug I ,ydnaD htiw stset gninnur neeb s’ortsA (Astro’s been running tests with Dandy, I guess. So everyone’s been shuffled around and learning to work with new people gets tiring after a while.)”
“Oh, I’m sorry…” Looey says, shamefaced. Blot backtracks what he says, waving off what he was saying earlier.
“,gnorw tuo emac taht tiaw ,oN (No, wait that came out wrong,)” He insists, tapping the table in front of Looey to emphasize his seriousness. “?wonk uoy ,wonk yllaer t’nod tub wonk ew elpoep htiw krow ot woh gninrael gnitartsurf tib a gnitteg neeb s’ti taht tnaem tsuj I (I just meant that it’s been getting a bit frustrating learning how to work with people we know but don’t really know, you know?)”
Looey snorts at that, silently agreeing to what he was talking about.
“,elbirret taht lla ton yllaer s’tI (It’s really not all that terrible,)” Blot admits, leaning on his fist as he puts his elbow on the table. “.dnuora eb ot dab os t’nera won htiw krow ew elpoep eht fo emoS (Some of the people we work with now aren’t so bad to be around.)”
For some reason that makes Looey genuinely laugh, the sound startling Blot since he hasn’t heard Looey laugh like that since before his accident.
“Have your eye on someone, don’t you?” Looey teases, watching as Blot reddens to what he said.
“?-woH (How-?)” Blot chokes out, unable to get any words out. Looey just snickers, unaware of the memories he’s remembering not being the correct ones. In fact, he’s completely forgotten where he is, and that the familiar pestering of Blot’s crush wasn’t something that ever happened in this world at all.
“You don’t have to keep sneaking around you know,” Looey reassures him, completely missing the blank look on his friend’s face. “I told you before that I’m happy for you two! If you want, you can even bring Cosmo around next time and all of us can hang out? It might be a little weird but I’m sure-”
Blot stands up suddenly from the table with a loud bang, making Looey jump at the sudden noise.
“,gnol oot gnikat si attaY (Yatta is taking too long,)” He says quickly before leaving to go to the kitchens. Looey is left there floundering, the abrupt way he left making Looey think he might have said something he shouldn’t have. Was it too soon to expect them to join them for a group outing? He thought it might have been okay, since it’s never been an issue before when he and his husband-
Eyes widening, Looey covers his mouth as bile rises in his throat as he forgot. He completely forgot, and he just told Blot something about his life that only happened in another universe. Or it didn’t happen at all, and Looey just made himself look delusional.
The pit in his stomach coils and Looey wants to reach in and yank it out, the twists of his emotions spreading venom through his veins. How could he be so stupid? Why can’t he keep his memories separated? Blot didn’t even mention anyone at all so why was Looey so sure that Blot was talking about Cosmo here?
Looey tries to sift through his memories to try and see if this Cosmo and this Blot ever had any sort of interactions that might have meant something before, but he doesn’t-
He can’t-
What he’s remembering isn’t making sense, and his memories are starting to fall apart, the orders of them mixing up until Looey isn’t sure actually, which ones belong here and which ones belong over there. He feels so sick, eyes shutting close as he wants to cry at how insane this is making him.
His breathing is picking up and he’s clenching his jaw shut, willing himself to not start crying here of all places. His ears fall to the sides of his head blocking out most of his face but the tremble of his shoulders betray how badly he’s freaking out.
Through the buzz of noise in his head, he feels something warm cover him, blocking out the lights entirely and making him gasp at the shock of a coat being placed over his head. Sitting back up and peeking out from under the coat, he watches as the back of Sprout’s head disappear through the kitchen doors without a word. He sniffs and glances down at the table, his breath getting caught in his throat at what he sees.
Placed in front of him is a stack of pancakes, with butter already melting the top of it and drizzled with a moderate amount of syrup falling down the sides of it. There’s chopped strawberries in the batter.
That’s the part that gets Looey to start crying. His tears blur the lovely image of the breakfast before him but he also can’t help but let out a little smile at it. That’s the scene Blot and Yatta walk back in on, after their furious back and forth discussion in a separate corner of the kitchen out of Looey’s hearing; the sight of Looey red-faced with tears as he eats his pancakes slowly, chef coat still over his head like a blanket.
Horrified, they hover over him and ask him all kinds of question about if he was fine, does he want to leave, maybe going out here was too soon-
Looey just smiles at them, wiping away the wetness on his cheeks as he tells them he’s fine. In fact, he’s feeling a lot better than he was that morning. Unsettled at how serene he was acting, Blot tentatively asks him, while Yatta curls against Looey in a side hug, if Looey should probably go talk to someone like Rodger maybe?
“... I think I should, yeah…” Looey quietly admits. Yatta pats at his covered head in reassurance. “I’m sorry, Blot. I got my memories mixed up and I didn’t mean to bring any of that up. We can forget I said anything.”
“gniht eht s’taht ,ees ,lleW (Well, see, that’s the thing,)” Blot carefully says, watching as Looey plays around with the last of his pancakes and becoming uninterested in finishing his plate. “?thgir fo tros eb thgim uoY (You might be sort of right?)”
Both Looey and Yatta yank their heads up at that, making Blot groan a bit in embarrassment before soldiering on. Leaning his head close and keeping his voice down, he tells Looey that he was technically right about it being Cosmo he was interested in, but nothing really happened beyond them going on a few runs together and him finding the Swiss roll toon kind of cute.
Yatta has the biggest, most evil grin on her face as she wants so badly to poke fun at him but she holds it in, recognizing that this wasn't the time for that. Looey has his eyes wide, staring back at Blot as something new had occurred to him.
“Do you think-?” Looey almost doesn’t want to say it, but based on what Blot was telling him and how similar the memories he always seemed to get confused with, it was starting to paint a new picture in his head.
“,erutuf eht fo strap gniees neeb evah thgim uoy ekil sdnuos fo dnik tI (It kind of sounds like you might have been seeing parts of the future,)” Blot agrees.
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” The balloon toon denies, even though he wants to believe with all his heart that the world he’s dreamed of could very well be within his reach. “I knew… I knew him a lot earlier than I did here. Our story was completely different.”
“,neht regdoR htiw pu gnirb nac uoy gnihtemos s’tahT (That’s something you can bring up with Rodger then,)” Shrugging, Blot just picks up Looey’s abandoned plate and Yatta pulls Looey up with her, chef coat still covering his head.
They start marching out of the dining area, Blot leaving the plate out near the trashcans and Yatta giving Looey a piggyback ride towards where Rodger likes to keep his office at. The coat over his head and shoulders block out the lights from the hallways and the view of any other toons looking at him.
Blot and Yatta keep a running commentary about nothing, letting Looey go silent as they take him to Rodger’s room. Closing his eyes, he tilts his head further against the back of Yatta’s head and letting the smell of the chef coat flood his senses. It smells like the strawberry pancake batter.
It smells like his husband.