How To Say Goodbye

by MadamAirlock

Summary:

If she could just say no and goodbye, her life would be a lot easier.

Notes:

The title is based on the song "One Last Time" from Hamilton. There won't be any Shandy for the first part of this story, but it'll come into play eventually. As will Rusty.

Chapter 1

The knock on her door was unexpected and it took her a few moments to push herself to get up. She set her wine glass and laptop aside as she stood, quietly approaching the door. She peered through the peephole and hesitated a moment more before easing the door open.

“Sharon!”

“Jack…” Her eyes roamed over her husband, taking in his put-together appearance and distinct lack of alcohol. “Um, come in…” She stepped back from the door and allowed him to walk past her, watching him for any sign that he was inebriated. Sensing none, she shut the door and followed him into her living room. “Why are you here?”

“I’m in town,” he shrugged and settled onto the couch before he looked up at her, “and it’s been too long.”

She cautiously sat on the edge of the chair by him, crossing one leg over the other while she wished she hadn’t changed into her lounge pants after work. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to Las Vegas for Christmas.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” He shook his head and leaned forward to look at her. “The kids didn’t make it either…”

Sharon was quiet, her gaze softened but still focused on her husband. “How long are you in town?” she finally asked.

“Just the weekend.”

“Do you have a place to stay?” She hoped her voice didn’t hold the same hesitancy her mind did.

“I was just gonna crash at the hotel down the street. I’m cleaning up some business with the law firm.” He shrugged again and she let out a breath, positive she didn’t want to know what business he had to deal with.

“You’re welcome to stay here.” She offered it behind her mind could process what it would mean, and she couldn’t take it back.

“Are you sure? I really don’t mind a hotel like last time.” He held his hands up submissively and met her gaze; she was surprised to see the dark brown that had first caught her attention so many years ago.

“It’s late and you’re already here. And it’s no problem to have you stay for a weekend.” She stood up as she spoke. “I’ll just grab some sheets to makeup the couch.”

He stood as she did and she didn’t notice until she started around the couch, instead running into him. He gently grabbed her around the waist as she stumbled and she looked up to find their faces close.

“Jack…” she murmured, her eyes scanning back and forth across his face.

Everything in her head told her it was a bad idea, that they were separated for a reason, but she allowed their lips to touch when he leaned his head down. The kiss lasted several moments and she pulled back when she needed air, reluctantly opening her eyes to look at him.

The tenderness and emotions she saw in his face caught her off guard and she felt her breath hitch. She didn’t complain as he kissed her again, nor did she complain when he slowly started toward her bedroom.

She wasn’t surprised when she came home to a letter two days later, every presence of Jack once again removed from the home that was hers and hers alone.

---

The darkness and silence of her condo didn't surprise her, not anymore. It had been a good few years since either of her kids had lived at home and she had adjusted to the empty nest after downsizing to two bedroom condo. The silence still unnerved her sometimes, even a month after she had last had a visitor. Jack had only stayed two nights, but it had been two nights of waking up to breakfast, coming home to dinner, and sharing her bed with someone. She missed it, missed him, even almost a decade into their separation.

With a sigh, Sharon set her tea on the coffee table and cradled her head in her hand. It was pounding and something in either the wine or her late dinner had twisted her stomach. She stared at the darkness of her tv screen and sighed again before she managed to stand up and groan. She placed her plate and glass in the dishwasher and barely made it to her single bathroom before her stomach flipped and she lost what little food she had consumed in the past twelve hours. She had thrown up any other food that morning when a phone call from her boss had dragged her out of bed.

She wiped at her mouth and sat back, brow furrowed against the bright lights in the room and her present condition. She wasn't someone who got sick very often and the thought of trudging through a week of work while nursing herself at home wasn't appealing. The silence of her home got to her again as she sat on the floor, eventually disturbing her enough that she got to her feet. Within minutes, she had brushed her teeth and crawled into bed, settling on the right side of the seemingly too-large mattress.

Lunch break the following day found Sharon at the market around the corner from the office. It was thankfully quiet as she grabbed a box of pregnancy tests and paid for them, refusing a bag so she could instead shove it into her purse. Her purse seemed to throb against her side as she returned to the precinct, sure that every other officer in the elevator with her could tell what she was hiding. Logically, she knew that was impossible and that their glances were only because of her reputation.

She was still never happier to step onto IA's floor and straight to the empty bathroom where she locked the door. After several moments of staring at her reflection in the mirror, she found the courage to take the tests and followed it up with more mirror staring while she waited for the results. She analyzed her reflection with a critical eye, pointing out wrinkles that hadn't been there previously and the possibility of weight gain.

When she finally looked down, the tests only confirmed what she thought.

"I am 48 years old and pregnant with my estranged husband's third child," she told her reflection, just to see if the words sounded as insane out loud. "Oh, god."

Chapter 2

She was surprised to see Jack outside her condo three months later, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. She stopped just outside the elevator and watched him, her brow furrowed as her hand instinctively went to the slight swell of her stomach. With a small shake of her head, she continued down the hallway, keys clasped in her hand.

“Jack,” she called as she got closer. He quickly turned around and looked at her, his arms falling to his sides.

“Sharon… I didn’t realize you were out…” He sounded apologetic and sober once again. She was almost positive this was a record for him.

“It’s Friday, Jack, I was at work.” There was a slight snap in her voice she couldn’t avoid. It had been a long day at work and she was already feeling the exhaustion from the pregnancy.

“Right, of course.” He cleared his throat and stepped back from her door so she could unlock it and lead the way inside. “I’m sorry to drop by unannounced. I just… I found myself in some trouble and I was hoping you could help out.”

She dropped her purse and keys onto the table by the door, quickly kicked her shoes off, and set her badge and gun aside a moment later. She stared at the table in silence before she finally turned to face him.

“What kind of trouble?” Her voice was even and she couldn’t keep her hand away from her stomach.

“Money trouble.” He shrugged and shut the door behind him, his eyes slowly roaming over her. It sent a chill up her spine and she sighed silently. “I just owe someone a bit of money and I need somewhere to stay until I get it sorted out. If you could… help with at least one of them, I’d be grateful.”

She shook her head and walked into the kitchen without a word, sighing again when he followed after her. She avoided looking at him as she filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove, once again turning to face him.

“We need to talk,” she said instead, her eyes dropping to the floor before she forced herself to look at him.

“Look, Shar, it would only be for a few nights. A week at the most. And it’s not that much money.” He spoke rapidly and she raised a hand to cut him off.

“I’m pregnant.” She spoke the words bluntly and they achieved their result as he went quiet.

“Pregnant? What? How?” His brow furrowed as he looked at her; he took a small step closer and she leaned against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest.

“How, Jack? Do I need to remind you what happened the last time you stopped by?” She stared at him and gently dug her nails into her arm.

“No, I…” He stopped and looked at her. She could see his expression change and she took a small step back. “How do you know it’s mine?”

“What?” She dropped her arms and took a few steps closer, tilting her head so she could maintain eye contact with him. “I know it’s yours because you are the only person I’ve slept with in twenty-five years we’ve been married.”

“If it’s mine, why didn’t you tell me sooner? Instead of hiding it and conveniently telling me when I visit again? Because I’m not taking care of another man’s child.” He shook his head and stepped out of her kitchen with a wave of his hand.

“You couldn’t even take care of your own children.” Bitterness entered her voice as she followed him, her eyes narrowed. “But this child is yours whether you like it or not.”

“That can’t be my child.” He gestured to the swell of her stomach he finally noticed and shook his head again. “It’s not mine and I’m leaving. I’ll find somewhere else to stay.”

“I don’t expect anything from you.” She followed him to the door and watched as he yanked it open. “I raised Emily and Ricky on my own, and I’ll do the same with this one. Maybe she’ll be better off without you going in and out of her life.”

“Oh, shut up. You act like this and then wonder why our marriage is a mess. Goddamn nagging voice.” He glared at her for a moment longer and then left, slamming the door shut behind him.

Sharon stood where she was for several moments, arms dangling by her side as she stared at her closed door. The whistling of the kettle caught her attention and she managed to lock the door and make it back to the kitchen. As she poured the hot water into her mug, she realized her hand was shaking. She set the kettle down before she dropped it and pressed her hand against her mouth to stifle a sob.

“Oh, god…” She closed her eyes and leaned against the counter as the tears started falling, quickly turning into sobs she couldn’t hold back.

She left her tea behind and quickly stumbled into her bedroom, curling up on top of the comforter. The sobs continued and she wrapped her arms around her stomach, cradling her unborn daughter while she cried.

She cried until she was exhausted, until her makeup was in streaks down her face and there was a damp spot on her pillow. A sick feeling had settled into her stomach and she ignored it as she forced herself up. She sent a text to Gavin before she stood up, needing to wash her face before she gave in to her exhaustion.

As she stood in her bathroom gently wiping her tear tracks and makeup away, she watched her reflection. She allowed her red-rimmed eyes to roam over her body, lingering on her stomach for several moments.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured as she dropped her washcloth into the sink and rested both hands on her stomach. “You deserve so much more.” She fell quiet and rubbed her stomach with her thumb. “But I’m going to do everything I can for you, okay? We’ll figure it out together.” She took a deep breath and resumed cleaning off her makeup, allowing thoughts of her unborn daughter to soothe and calm her.

Notes:

This is probably that last we'll see of Jack. At least for a while.

Chapter 3

It was no surprise that Jack fell off the face of the earth for the duration of her pregnancy. Sharon spent no time or energy searching for him, deciding to save her baby the heartache of a father who couldn't stay in one place. Her children visited for a few separate weekends, helping where they could while she tiredly made her way through work. It only became harder as her pregnancy progressed and she was ever grateful for her relatively safe desk job.

As much as she wanted to, she knew a lengthy maternity leave was off the table. She worked as long as she could, finally going into labor late one Friday night. She gave birth alone and the first people to meet her newborn daughter were Andrea and Gavin. Isabella Hope Raydor was a small newborn, with shocking blue eyes and her father's dark hair.

Over the first two years of Bella's life, her eyes darkened to match her mother's green eyes and she thrived under the watch of her mother and occasionally her older siblings. Sharon kept her daughter out of daycare as much as she could, even more grateful than she was during her pregnancy for a job that got her home by a normal time. Just before Bella's third birthday, Sharon was dragged into the rule-breaking hell of Major Crimes.

Bella threw a fit as she was dragged out of bed a few hours after bedtime and bundled in a blanket. Sharon sighed in exhaustion as she drove out to the address she had been sent, casting a worried glance at her daughter as she parked.

"Go back to sleep, sweetheart. Mama will be right back." She stifled a yawn and adjusted her glasses to avoid rubbing at her irritated eyes. Bella made an unhappy noise and pulled her blanket closer as she pushed at the belt on her car seat. "I love you."

She made sure the windows were cracked before she shut and locked the doors, taking a moment to prepare herself before facing the infamous detectives and their crime scene. Content that she was ready, she approached the scene, ripping through the yellow crime tape easily while ordering her team to gather information she wouldn’t get from Major Crimes.

She couldn’t help but snap at Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza, annoyed with their argument before they had gotten a word out. It was too late and she was too annoyed about having to drag Bella to a crime scene. She was all too eager to find out what hospital the victim had been taken too so she could get there and get home before sunrise.

Bella was asleep by the time they arrived to the hospital and Sharon was only more infuriated to discover she had been sent to the wrong hospital. She kept her anger internalized as she carried her toddler back to the car and quickly drove to the correct hospital, talking with Bella in a futile attempt to keep her happy.

As Sharon approached the waiting room a nurse had directed her to, Bella wrapped her arms tighter around her mother’s neck and buried her face in her chest. Sharon sighed as she entered the room, the sight of an awful pink trench coat alerting her that she wouldn’t be going home soon.

She ignored Chief Johnson and approached the table occupied by two bed, carefully shifting Bella to her left side as her arm started to go numb. “Are you Sergeant David Gabriel?”

Bella wrapped her arms even tighter, uncomfortable around the three strangers. “Yes, I am,” Gabriel answered, the hesitation obvious in his voice.

“As a Sergeant, I would expect you to be familiar with the rules and regulations surrounding the use of your firearm.” She felt Bella look up at her but kept her gaze on Gabriel.

Both him and his lawyer stood up. “You would be correct…”

“Then why did you disregard LAPD policy and leave the scene of your action?” She could feel Chief Johnson staring at her too and held Bella closer despite how her arms ached.

“I was following—“

“Sergeant, please,” his lawyer interrupted, “say nothing else.”

Sharon sighed. “I see you’ve met your counsel, so I won’t bother asking for your statement, but over here there is an officer with a breathalyzer and I would appreciate it if you visited him immediately to assess your blood alcohol level.” She gestured to the officer with her free hand before settling it on Bella’s back. The toddler eyed the others in the room curiously, her gaze always gravitating back to Chief Johnson. “Or if you prefer, your lawyer can explain to you the longterm consequences of you failing to do as I ask.”

She watched as Gabriel and his lawyer looked at each other, cringing inwardly when her daughter’s voice broke the silence. “Pretty jacket.” She pointed at Chief Johnson and the woman stared at the child.

When Sharon realized Gabriel hadn’t moved, she turned slightly to position herself between Chief Johnson and Bella, her gaze refocusing on Gabriel. “Do you need help with the word ‘immediately?’”

Once Gabriel and his lawyer moved over to the officer, Sharon lowered Bella to the ground and took her hand, reluctantly turning to face Chief Johnson.

“Captain Raydor, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” Chief Johnson shifted her purse and glanced down at Bella who was watching her intently.

“So, I was told that Sergeant Gabriel and the victim had been sent to Cedars and here you all are at Saint Catherine’s Medical Center and I was just wondering, how is it that you happen to be at the right hospital while I was sent to the wrong one?” She stepped closer to the other woman and kept her hold on Bella’s hand, knowing she would try to dart off any moment now that she felt more comfortable in the room.

Chief Johnson smiled. “If I may, I’d like to offer some advice. When investigating shootings like this, I question the victims first before my fellow officers.”

Sharon wasn’t impressed and merely raised an eyebrow, glancing down at Bella when she finally started tugging on her hand. “When an unarmed civilian sprayed by bullets from a member of the LAPD, I expect cooperation. It encourages me. And if I could offer you some advice. While I am investigating this shooting, be careful where you place your sympathies.”

It didn’t look like she was going to be home anytime soon which meant Bella would be at daycare without a nap as soon as the center opened and she would go in search of her third of many cups of coffee.

“Chief,” the other woman replied.

“Excuse me?”

“Be careful where you place your sympathies, Chief,” she continued. Sharon stared at her and swallowed. “You are a Captain and a subordinate officer and you will remember that when addressing me. Do I make myself clear, Captain?”

“Perfectly, Chief,” Sharon reluctantly answered, her gaze remaining on Chief Johnson even when Bella started whining and pulling at her hand. “Excuse me. Got work to do.”

She finally allowed Bella to pull her down the hallway before guiding her to the entrance and out to her car. She buckled Bella in and left the car off while she checked in with her team. Relieved that they seemed to have things under control, she decided to fight for a few hours of sleep for both her and Bella.

The initial night was the only one that kept Sharon and her daughter out at late hours, but Sharon wasn’t pleased by how late the Gabriel investigation kept her out. By the time she cleared the Sergeant, she missed her daughter and was grateful for a chance to stay at home with her and keep her out of daycare. Sharon only hoped that this barely functional partnership with Major Crimes wouldn’t continue on any longer.

Notes:

The next couple chapters will follow The Closer canon (to some extent) to set up how Sharon handles Bella and her job. Once we reach late TC/early Major Crimes, it'll diverge because we all want Shandy as soon as possible.

This means that most of the dialogue for this chapter (and at least the next chapter) are taken straight from the episodes. This one happens to be Red Tape (05x03).

Chapter 4

Sharon was convinced Major Crimes lived to make her life hell. If it was just her, she would pass it off as a simple annoyance, deal with the petulant team, and move on. Now, their insistence on breaking rules was interfering with her schedule and Bella’s schedule. The toddler was going to be nocturnal before long with the way their sleeping schedules were turning out.

With a tired groan, she rolled over in bed and reached for her ringing phone. She barely managed a ‘hello.’

“Captain Raydor, it’s Lieutenant Flynn.”

“Lieutenant Flynn?” She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair before fumbling for her glasses.

“Yeah, it’s your lucky day.”

She managed to get enough information from him as she got dressed, already dreading having to wake Bella up. As she straightened her hair and slipped her shoes on, she questioned why Flynn would call her of all people. He had friends and drinking buddies he could have called, why her?

Bella barely woke up as Sharon bundled her up in blankets and carried her down to the car. She was sound asleep by the time they arrived at the scene and Sharon reluctantly woke her again to pull her from the car. The toddler sleepily followed her mother under the yellow tape to the crime scene and over to the ambulance with its lights lighting up the entire area. She heard Flynn arguing with the paramedics as she came around the side of the ambulance and couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere until I give my statement,” Flynn argued. Bella’s hand tightened on her mother’s hand as they reached the back of the ambulance and found a bloodied Flynn sitting there with two paramedics.

“Let them do their job, Lieutenant,” she ordered immediately, glancing at her daughter as she shyly moved closer.

“Yeah, right after I do mine,” he grumbled in response, already fumbling for the knife laying beside him.

“Okay, hurry up,” she sighed, gently squeezing Bella’s hand.

“He used this—my attacker.” He offered the knife and she took it, immediately passing it off to one of her lieutenants waiting nearby. Bella watched with a slightly horrified look. “White, six feet. Asshole. I discharged my weapon, so you’re gonna want my gun. Here, take it.” He handed his firearm to her as well and she passed it off to the same lieutenant.

Bella pressed closer to Sharon’s side, her fingers tightly curled around her mother’s as her eyes took the crime scene in. Sharon hoped what she saw wouldn’t scar her for life.

“There’s one in the chamber, six in the mag, and two in that son of a bitch. I double tapped him, so he couldn’t have gone far. He ran off over…” He stopped suddenly as he slouched forward. Sharon dropped her daughter’s hand to grab him, helping to push him back into the ambulance so the paramedics could hold him up.

“He better wake up,” she threatened as she took Bella’s hand again and followed after her lieutenant. She watched the ambulance pull away and then picked her daughter up, double checking information with her officers. When she was reassured it would all be handled through the night and she’d get an update on Flynn in the morning, she returned home.

Bella was a mess to get out of bed the next morning and was still crying hysterically when Sharon left her at daycare. She felt awful for her daughter and the daycare workers, but could only sigh as she drove to the hospital Lieutenant Flynn had been taken too. One of her officers had called her earlier to let her know he was awake and would be okay, and she felt an odd since of relief as she walked through the sterile hallways to his room.

“Oh, damn. Look at me,” Flynn complained as she walked in.

A small smirk lifted her lips. “You should see the other guy,” she commented.

“Oh, Captain Raydor. Have you found Lieutenant Flynn’s assailant?” Chief Johnson turned to face her, lingering near the head of Flynn’s bed.

“Well,” Sharon began, “hospital alert didn’t show anybody, but a crime broadcast found a white male shot in the chest, left by the road in San Bernardino.” She passed a file over to Chief Johnson, but held onto the rest of the papers and pulled her phone out. “We’ve ID’d him as Bobby Harris.”

“Never heard of him,” Flynn interjected.

“All right. Misdemeanor car theft, out on probation three days again,” Chief Johnson read from the file, her brow furrowed a little.

“I had a detective in San Bernardino email me his photo,” Sharon continued, pulling the picture up on her phone as she spoke. She passed it to the Chief.

“Is this the man who attacked who?” she asked as she held the phone up for her lieutenant to see.

“Oh,” Sharon gently took the phone back and held it close. “I should mention that if you positively ID the victim, then this case becomes mine right now. On the other hand, if you don’t recognize this man, then this case will be investigated by Major Crimes. So, bearing all of that in mind, is this the man who tried to kill you?” She raised an eyebrow as she showed the photo to the lieutenant once more. As she waited, she watched Chief Johnson and Lieutenant Flynn, hoping that they understood what she was insinuating. She wouldn’t be too surprised if they didn’t.

Flynn was quiet for several moments and it took until both Chief Johnson and Lieutenant Provenza shook their heads before he replied. “It’s hard to say. It all happened so fast.” It was the least convincing answer, in Sharon’s mind, but it would do.

“Very good.” She smiled briefly. “Uh, you will be needing this. This is the knife from the crime scene. Good luck, Chief.” She smiled again and waved her hands a little before turning and walking from the room, barely catching Chief Johnson’s ‘thank you.’

She waved as she passed Sergeant Gabriel in the hallway, offering a passing greeting before she stepped into the elevator. She told herself she was only helping Chief Johnson because there was a good possibility the infuriating woman could become her direct boss. There was a small part of her that was worried about Flynn too.

It left an odd feeling in her head as she made her way to the precinct, already knowing Bella would have a long few days at daycare.

Notes:

This is from The Closer episode, "Old Money" (06x11). There will probably one more chapter like this (most likely 06x13) to build on the Shandy before going a separate direction.

If you guys are absolutely opposed to that, let me know and I'll figure out another transition!

Chapter 5

Between the stress of work and Bella in her terrible twos, Sharon was on the edge of pulling her hair out. The only beacon of hope was her trip to Park City to finally see her older children and her parents for Christmas. She knew Bella was excited, even if the trip meant she would be overly spoiled by her family. Of course, the relief didn’t last very long due to the ever inconveniencing Major Crimes division and their inability to claim their own cases.

Sharon sighed heavily as she followed Chief Johnson into the murder room, an irritated look on her face. The longer they delayed the investigation, the longer it would take to solve it and she didn’t want to spend the ridiculous amount of money to change her flight to see her family.

“Oh, daddy. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to meet y’all when you first got into town,” Chief Johnson was saying as Sharon stepped into the room, Detective Sanchez right behind her. “You travelled all this way. I just feel terrible.”

“Oh, catch your breath.” Chief Johnson’s father told her. Sharon came to a stop behind the infuriating woman with a surprised look replacing her irritation. “Catch your breath, honey. We’re not anxious at all, are we?”

“No, everybody has made us feel right at home, like always.” Chief Johnson’s mother added, a wide smile gracing her face. “I just wish we could all watch Lieutenant Provenza put on his Santa suit and take all these toys to the needy children.” She looked back at Lieutenant Provenza and Sharon tried not to let her mind get carried away with the mental image.

“Um, Chief Johnson?” Sharon stepped closer to grab the Chief’s attention, the urgency to solve the case returning.

“Oh. Uh, mama, daddy, this is my Captain Raydor,” Chief Johnson introduced, gesturing to the woman as she spoke. Sharon tried not to let her surprise show, but she wasn’t sure how well it worked. “I-I-I mean, my friend, Captain Sharon. I mean, my friend, Sharon Raydor.” By the time Chief Johnson finished, Sharon was ready to slip into the ground, aware that the rest of Major Crimes was staring at them.

“Friend? We have been waiting to meet one of Brenda's friends since she graduated High School.” Mr. Johnson stepped forward and shook Sharon’s hand and with no other way to react, she shook his hand in return.

“Well, here I am,” she finally managed, forcing a smile in the hopes that the awkwardness would abate soon.

“Wait a minute, Clay.” Mrs. Johnson stepped forward, leaning in past her husband to see Sharon. “Did you say ‘Captain,’ as in you work here?”

“Yes, that's right, Mrs. Johnson,” Sharon replied, forcing her smile to remain in place.

“I see,” Mrs. Johnson murmured, smiling at her husband. “Her friend works here. Please, call me Willie Ray.” She stepped closer to Sharon and shook her hand, smiling happily. “Brenda’s friends are my friends too.”

“Okay, Willie Ray.” Sharon smiled in return, a surprisingly genuine smile with a quiet giggle to follow.

“Your parents have something to tell you, Brenda Leigh,” Fritz interrupted, his hand resting on Mr. Johnson’s shoulder. “Very exciting news.”

“Is that right? What is it?”

Sharon stood by quietly, the awkwardness returning now that the conversation had moved on. She was determined not to leave without Chief Johnson, even if she had to drag her out herself.

“Excuse me! I found the father's place. It's just west of here.” Sergeant Gabriel provided a welcome intrusion as he walked into the murder room, quickly calling attention to himself. “Who do you want to send with me?”

“Uh, Lieutenant Provenza, can you spare an elf?” Chief Johnson asked, looking to the rest of her team. Sharon tried to keep her relief from showing.

“Flynn!” The rest of the team answered immediately.

“What? Why me?” Flynn asked, a somewhat offended look crossing his face as he fought with the tape.

“You're better at your real job,” Buzz grumbled. Sharon tried not to get caught up in the banter, but she realized just how different the division was from her own team. She tried not to linger on that thought.

“And would y'all please take a look for a suicide note and anything that shows intent to stab his son to death?” Chief Johnson added, ignoring the horrified look that crossed her mother’s face. Sharon took a few steps toward the door, hoping to hurry the Chief along. She missed whatever was said next until she heard her given name again. “Um, I'm sorry, uh, mama, Captain Raydor and I need to -- I mean, Sharon and I need to —“

“It's all right, little girl,” Mr. Johnson said, smiling at his daughter. Sharon nodded and smiled in agreement, pointing toward the door. “You and your friend run along and do your job.”

“Y'all aren't irritated?” Chief Johnson asked. Sharon held back the urge to groan and finally cleared her throat when the woman wouldn’t step away from her parents. Finally, she turned and followed her out of the room.

---

 

Sharon couldn’t say she was too surprised when the case moved through Christmas Eve and into Christmas day. She was still disappointed, especially when she had to bring Bella to work with her. She was relieved that at least her toddler was occupied with her Christmas gifts, hugging her new stuffed monkey close as she sat on her mother’s lap in the murder room. A garden gnome sat on the desk by Sharon and she couldn’t help but stare at her, occasionally glancing down to her daughter.

“Ah, Captain.” Pope’s voice caused her to look up, her arms tightening around Bella. “We still waiting for the boy to recant?”

“Lieutenant Provenza's getting him to withdraw his charges now. And I expect Joan Marku will drop the kidnapping suit as soon as Chief Johnson is done. So, you're off the hook,” she explained softly. Bella perked up at her mother’s voice and started waving her monkey around. “Stop, honey. Before you hurt someone.”

“Oh. Good. So why the long face?” The awkward tension between them was palpable and she noticed how he seemed to ignore Bella.

“While I've been waiting here, the Salt Lake City airport has been closed due to snow. No flights in or out till tomorrow. So there goes Christmas.” She couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice, especially when Bella pouted up at her.

“No Ricky?” She mumbled.

“No Ricky. Not for a few weeks,” Sharon answered softly, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s head.
“Why, Sharon. You can have dinner with all of us here.” Willie Ray’s voice surprised Sharon and she looked up to find the older woman standing by her chair. “You and your baby girl. Your friend Brenda wouldn't have it any other way.”

“My friend Brenda?” Sharon asked, confusion filling her gaze until everything clicked together. “My friend Brenda,” she told Pope, unable to keep a small smile off her lips.

“You know what? You both come help me finish with the cooking, and I'll tell you some fun stories about Brenda Leigh when she was a girl. They'll make you laugh.” Willie Ray laughed herself and waved her hands, even smiling and offering Bella a little wave.

“I'm sure they will.” Sharon smiled as she stood up with Bella, pausing to grab the gnome off the desk before she followed Willie Ray toward the door.

When the case was finally—finally—wrapped up and dinner was ready, Sharon found herself standing ostracized from the rest of the team with Bella once again in her arms. From the way the toddler stared longingly at the table, she figured it was close to dinner time. Her own stomach rumbled and reminded her of how long it had been since she last ate. As the team finally started to sit down, Sharon hesitantly moved closer to the table. She took the empty seat beside Flynn with Bella in her lap.

She was quiet while the team bantered, occupied with keeping Bella’s hands out of the nearby food and contemplating how she ended up between Flynn and Provenza. Buzz broke her concentration and stole Bella’s attention, she waved excitedly to him.

“Okay, everybody, um, just one second. Just say ‘Merry Christmas and Happy New Year’ into the camera, okay?” Buzz directed, pointing to the camera at the end of the table. Bella’s giggles could be overhead over Provenza’s complaints.

“Really? Really? We're gonna do this. “For the sake of baby Jesus—“

“Lieutenant!” Buzz complained louder.

“Can we just eat?” Provenza countered.

“All right, Lieutenant. We're ready,” Willie Ray interrupted, stopping the banter from going further.

“All right, let's do it. Here we go. On three. One, two, three,” Gabriel counted down, still over Bella’s happy giggles and waves.

“Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!” Even Bella added in, her toddler voice mixing with everyone else.

“If anyone wants sweet potatoes, pass your plates down,” Chief Johnson ordered, already reaching out for the plates.
“We did the marshmallows on those,” Sharon pointed out, a note of pride in her voice as she held Bella with one hand and picked up her plate with the other.

“Oh, did you?” Chief Johnson asked, sparing a glance for the other woman. “They’re kind of burnt.”

Notes:

I wanted to end this chapter the same way the episode did (06x13 and 06x14), so there's that. Now, we're going to really deviate from canon and have some fun. Expect Shandy soon!