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Sid ran
He ran like there was no tomorrow
Ran, ran and ran
Tony made fun of him, again, Cassie attempted suicide because of him and his mother left
Life is shit and for the first time Sid didn't know what to do
He really felt like a failure
Or it just is and now I'm really realizing it
A failure as a friend and as a son
If only he had gone out with Cassie
If only he had realized that there was at least someone who saw him...maybe they would still be talking
Maybe Cassie would have tried to trick him into not eating and Sid would have pretended not to care
If he had been a better son, maybe mom and dad wouldn't always fight
Maybe mom would still be here
And Tony
Fuck..
If only he had the courage to tell Tony to go to hell
If only he were more independent from Tony
But in reality without Tony it would be nothing
Damn, fuck everything
He had repressed anger inside him, after so many years of silence that anger was trying to come out
The tears fell one by one, silently, as he had been all those years
He was in the park, and he started punching the trunk of a tree
Every punch was an extra pain in his knuckles
Every punch was a way to send all his problems to hell
He wanted to react
He wanted to do something
He was tired, for God's sake, he couldn't take it anymore
He would have liked to drown his pain in the alcohol he drinks in seedy bars, in the drugs he takes in abandoned alleys or in his beloved razor blade hidden at the bottom of the drawer
All this pain and frustration is drowning him to the point of sinking
Blood slowly seeped from his battered knuckles
Dripping on the green grass
"Hey?"
Punch, drip, punch, drip
"Hey!"
Punch, drip, punch-
Someone forcibly removed him from the bloody courtyard
Sid looked at the knuckles
The skin had broken, causing bloody pits to flow out
"What the fuck happened to you, you're punching a fucking tree trunk, what the hell did that poor tree do to you?!"
The guy was holding him from behind, hugging him and not letting go for fear that Sid might throw himself into that tree again
"What do you care"
"Sorry if I'm just human and I'm worried"
Human...being human in this shitty society is rare
Humanity has now disappeared, turning people into heartless beasts
The boy slowly let go of him and finally he could see his face
He was caramel blonde and asian, you could tell by his almond-shaped eyes, and he had a pretty colorful style, with a piercing under his lip
"I don't think you English people punch trees like that"
The boy said chuckling, but still with a worried look
He doesn't understand why so much kindness towards a stranger
"Nothing.."
Sid touched the wounds on his knuckles, pressed them to feel the burning
"Bullshit"
"Huh"
"I think this is fucking bullshit, you're clearly not okay, your friends didn't do anything?"
"..."
Sid pressed hard on the wound, but the boy took his hand
"Anygays, I'm Yuichi, and you?"
"Sid"
...
Sid met Yuichi, he was quite a strange person, a boy with stars in his eyes who offers you an energy drink and then asks you what was troubling you in your mind
But strangely Yuichi was the first to listen to him even though he had known him for a few hours while the others had known him for a lifetime
The only thing Yuichi told him was to start reacting because life doesn't wait
And that was the straw that broke the camel's back
When he returned home, it was already night, he took the books and began to write the report on Lech Walesa and the collapse of Soviet power
The next day he went to Cassie, with a bouquet of lilies, roses and tulips and a letter of apology in his hands
For the next few days he ignored both Tony and Michelle, his black eye returning to its natural color
Wonderful, he guess
Meanwhile Sid continued to meet Yuichi near that tree
They talked about many things, video games, songs and movies, apparently Yuichi likes Britney Spears
He began to spend a lot of time with him so much that he became a constant in his life, the only lifeline in that ocean
He gave him little advices, listened to him, made him feel loved, he feeled observed by someone for the first time
He was the one who took him to visit Cassie, he's the one who bandaged the cuts on his wrists
The more he was with Yuichi, the more he forgot about Michelle, the more he forgot about Tony
Tony..
He hadn't spoken to him for days, even though Tony tried to open a conversation with him by teasing him
Maybe it was better this way
Every time he thinks about Tony, Yuichi distracts him, as if he wanted to monopolize all his attention on him
Yuichi is weird
He's so sweet to him in a way that no one is, not even Tony or Cassie
Maybe he started to have feelings for him
Maybe that's why Sid kissed him?
It all happened suddenly
Sid was lying on the asian's legs while he was smoking a cigarette, the two of them looked at each other and everything happened by instinct
The next day they didn't talk about the kiss, as a silent agreement between the two of them, and they started to kiss each other more and more
They were short and simple
Maybe life is getting better
...
Side found himself in Yuichi's arms again
Yuichi was a rather clingy guy
"Come on Sid, you're so mean to me"
Sid rolled his eyes and straddled him before giving him a kiss
But before Sid could pull away, Yuichi deepened the kiss, one of those kisses that takes your breath away
"Kissing you is like a drug, you start and you can't stop"
"Mhhh"
Sid was hugged by Yuichi, but he didn't see that Yuichi was smiling at Tony who was looking at the