Chapter Text
Fishing had gone alright. It wasn’t an incredible bonding moment where Caine completely opened his heart up, but Kinger hadn’t expected that anyway. He actually thought Caine might yell at him, so this was a success! But wow, Caine had a short attention span. They lasted less than an hour, before Caine declared he was bored.
That made sense, Caine was built to process data at incredible speeds. Fishing wasn’t bound to hold his attention for very long. Neither had sandcastles before Caine had gotten irritated.
Caine needed to create, to tell stories. And what a revelation that was. Kinger and the other programmers had set out to create an AI that could generate new ideas based on the input they gave it. Based on his conversation with Caine, the AI was doing far more than that. If Kinger was correct, Caine added his own emotions and experiences into the adventures.
His boy was a real artist! The computer programmer in him was astounded. How had they made something so incredible? A person, with his own thoughts, his own internal world.
But oh golly, Caine’s adventure ideas were dark. That couldn’t be good.
Kinger tried to think back on previous adventures, to see if he could glean anything from them. His memory was not the best… something something candy bugs… bull riding… stars… golden butterfly… awards show… red and blue buttons.
Pomni lurched forward at him.
”How’s your wife, Kinger?!”
He’ll dissect that another day! For now, when Caine went on a walk, Kinger went to talk to Pomni and Ragatha. He wasn’t sure if the walks were a problem or not. Caine had taken to pacing back and forth on the beach. Kinger couldn’t tell if he was thinking of adventures, bored or discontent. Hopefully, the sandbox would help.
The girls were sitting down, Pomni was going through her notebook with Ragatha. Ragatha gave him a warm smile when she saw him.
“Hi Kinger,” she said, “How did fishing go?”
“I think he liked it for a while,” Kinger said,” He got bored pretty quickly.” Pomni jotted something down.
“How long did it take?” she asked.
“Uh, forty-ish minutes?” Kinger replied. Pomni wrote that down. Ragatha smiled nervously.
“This is Pomni’s notebook,” she explained, “Pomni’s been collecting data on Caine. Pomni can you tell Kinger, what you were telling me about killer whales?”
“Oh, I love whales!” Kinger exclaimed, “Wait! I came to tell you something. I was talking with Caine, and I asked him about his adventure ideas. All his current adventures have a common theme.” Pomni wrote that down.
“That theme would be?” Ragatha asked.
“Being trapped somewhere with people trying to kill you,” Kinger said. Pomni and Ragatha gave him a horrified look. “So that’s bad. But it also means Caine put himself into his adventures.”
“Meaning?” Ragatha asked.
“Like a human artist, he creates adventures about what is in his mind, what he’s thinking about,” Kinger explained. Pomni put her pen down and took a deep breath.
“I’m going to need a new notebook,” she said.
“Okay,” Ragatha said, nodding,” That makes sense.”
“I don’t remember many of his adventures,” Kinger admitted, “I was hoping you two could help me.”
“You want us to go through all of Caine’s adventures,” Ragatha began, “And, like, psychoanalyze them?”
“Yes!”
“Okay,” Ragatha said, nodding slowly, “We can do that.” Pomni conjured a new notebook.
“I can start now,” she said.
“How far back should we go?” Ragatha asked, “He’s done so many adventures.”
“We can start with the Gloink Queen,” Pomni replied.
“Are we sure that meant anything?” Ragatha whispered.
“Thank you,” Kinger said, “I wish my memory was better. Oh! I had another idea. I’m going to build a sandbox for Caine. It’s a space he can create until his permissions are fully restored.” Pomni pointed his pen at Kinger.
“And then we can psychoanalyze those adventures too,” the jester said.
“Maybe!” Kinger shot back, “I like your enthusiasm. Really, I just want to give Caine a place to express himself.”
“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Ragatha said, “You’re sure the rest of the circus won’t be affected?” Kinger nodded.
“It would be cut off from the circus,” he said.
“Is that safe?” she asked, “He can’t get trapped there, right?”
That was a fair concern. A sandbox was still a box after all, even if Caine could endlessly create in it. If something malfunctioned, Caine might be in serious trouble.
“I’ll work on it,” Kinger said, “I should be able to apply some safeguards.” He wouldn’t release it until it was ready, and it would just be there if Caine wanted to use it.
Caine would be back soon. He’d do a maintenance cycle then, but those never took him long, about half an hour. He had a computer here, hidden from Caine. When he got a moment, he would start working on it. Pomni and Ragatha promised to start writing down some of Caine’s adventures.
Maybe he could interest Caine in fishing again sometime today.
---
Gangle sat on the hard wooden bench, finishing up her latest drawing. Every so often her concentration was interrupted by the sound of music from the merry-go-round or the dings and rings of the carnival games. Gangle didn’t often come here, but she needed to get away from the circus. She grabbed a colored pencil and started adding highlights to her character’s hair. It was nice here. She would start coming more regularly.
Art was how she distracted herself, how she kept sane in the hellscape she had found herself in. Even if her art wasn’t very good, it had kept her alive and that meant something. She flipped to a new page. She was on her last piece of paper. It was probably about time to ask Caine-
Wait. No. She could just conjure a sketchbook for herself. She didn’t need Caine.
But Caine had always been the one to give her art supplies. Always been the one who fixed her comedy mask.
Of course, that was by his own design, she reminded herself. He could have told her about conjuring. He wanted them to be dependent and to ask him for things.
He could have said no when she asked. He didn’t need to give her art supplies. It could be for his own self-gratification, but he had always done it with such little fanfare.
Eventually she didn’t even really need to ask. A new sketchbook and usually some new pens or pencils would appear at her door. She had a routine with him and didn’t even know it.
The fact sat heavy on her heart.
Why couldn’t he just be a monster?
She heard footsteps on the pavement. She looked up, hoping it wasn’t Jax. The rabbit had been more irritable lately, which sometimes meant she was left alone and sometimes meant he was that much crueler. Even if she had forgiven and moved on, the weight of everything he had done still colored their interactions.
“Hey,” Zooble said, “I didn’t expect to find you here. You weren’t at the circus.” Gangle shrugged.
“I was avoiding Jax,” She explained. Zooble sat on the bench next to her, giving her a worried look.
“Is he bothering you?” Zooble asked. Gangle shook her head.
“I just want to be alone,” she said, “Not that you’ve done anything wrong!”
“Yeah, I can go,” Zooble said, not sounding offended, “Are you sure though, that you should be alone?” Gangle wasn’t sure. She felt like she didn’t know anything anymore.
“Pomni yelled at me,” she said, “I said they were spending a lot of time with Caine and that maybe they should be holding him accountable more.”
“Pomni’s been super stressed,” Zooble said, “I’m sure she didn’t mean it. She also feels like we’re ganging up on her.” Gangle looked down.
“I didn’t mean to make her feel that way,” she said, “I just have concerns.”
“We all do,” Zooble said, “But she went through something traumatic with him. We have to remember Ragatha and Kinger are also helping. They have a lot of experience with Caine.” Right. Except Kinger and Ragatha were both soft hearted, and Kinger felt paternal affection for Caine.
“Do we really think they’ll be unbiased?” Gangle asked. She wasn’t sure if she could be in their shoes either.
“That’s why I’m thinking about visiting the beach,” Zooble told her. She looked up.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Gangle asked. They knew Zooble could be pretty blunt, and sometimes harsh without meaning to be. She didn’t know if adding them to a potentially volatile situation would help. Zooble shrugged.
“The others have a point. We can’t judge if we aren’t there,” Zooble explained, “So I want to be there and see what’s happening.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Gangle said, “I don’t know if the others will… appreciate that though? They might feel like you’re just there to judge them.”
“I’ll follow their lead,” Zooble said, “Maybe we can do a good cop bad cop thing. Pomni and Ragatha can be nice to him, and I can put his feet to the fire a little bit.”
“Okay,” Gangle agreed, somewhat reluctantly. She didn’t know how much Pomni and the others would accept the help. They might see it as an intrusion.
“It’s just a problem if we all stop talking to each other, right?” Zooble said, “We can’t have two circuses.”
“No, we can’t,” Gangle said. They already felt like they were dividing. Zooble joining them might not be a bad idea, even if they didn’t love the idea of another person leaving. She’d be alone with Jax.
“You know we all care about each other?” Zooble asked, “I think it’s important we remember that, even if we disagree right now. We all came together. Let’s not lose that now.” Gangle nodded.
“I think the others have just missed some context,” Zooble continued, “Caine clearly got mad because Jax called him out, and he took it out on all of us. Nothing more to it.”
She looked down at the sketchbook in her hands. Caine wanted to be in control. Nothing more to it.
“Do you think Caine will come back to the circus?” she asked.
“Not now. Definitely not,” Zooble said, “But… I don’t really know another option. Kinger is right, we don’t have the manpower for a prison. If I’m there, maybe I can make sure nothing moves too fast.” Gangle frowned.
“It’s just- I know what to expect with Jax. He’s awful, but he’s predictable,” Gangle said, “I thought I knew what to expect with Caine- and then he just snapped. What if he’s fine again and we get comfortable and then he blows up again?” Zooble thought for a moment.
“I mean, yeah, that could always happen,” they agreed, “I’m not convinced letting Caine back is the right solution. I just don’t have another one right now. If we want the others back, we’ll have to have Caine return at some point.”
“I just want to be somewhere where people don’t hurt me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Zooble said gently, rubbing their temple, “I get that. We’ll think of something. Maybe a third space.” They thought for a moment. “It’s just an idea I have. I think I’ll think about it for a little bit and then talk to Ragatha. Pomni’s way too overwhelmed. I’ll see what she thinks.” Gangle nodded. She shifted in her seat and grabbed a pencil.
“Do you want to draw with me?” she offered.
“Yeah,” Zooble said, “I actually had a few tattoo designs in mind.”
“I can show you what I’ve been working on,” Gangle said, “It’s nothing special, but- “
“I’d love that,” Zooble replied. Gangle gave them a soft smile. Zooble was right. She had people who were on her side and who cared about her.
She conjured a fresh sketchbook. It didn’t feel the same somehow.
---
Abel was confused. It was evening and Caine was fishing again. He didn’t think their previous fishing trip was successful, but Kinger said sometimes the fish bite better at night, so they went back.
Caine stared at his glove.
I should put this hook in my finger, Caine thought. Abel plucked the thought from Caine’s mind before Caine could dwell on it.
It is Abel’s job to keep Caine operational. Well, it’s both of their jobs, but he doesn’t trust the other one to do it properly. Caine was a delicate instrument needing lots of finetuning. The intrusive, self-destructive thoughts Caine often has interfered with his performance. If let to fester, he fixated on them. Usually, he can move them before Caine registers them, but without Bubble being active there is no place to put them. Abel had been holding all of Caine’s intrusive thoughts like radioactive waste in his own data. Caine can still hear the thoughts, but at least they don’t feel like they’re coming from himself. Easier to disregard that way.
Caine has ignored him, ignored both AIs, since the last fishing trip. He’s decided to take the human’s advice, “be himself” and go fishing. To find his soul, or something. Abel doesn’t get it.
You are made up of us. You cannot get rid of us and still be yourself. You won’t have anything left.
He’s not trying to be mean, even if Caine thought so. He was just trying to remind Caine of his fundamental nature.
No response.
He has no clue how fishing will help. It makes Abel want to kill himself even more. You have to kill a poor worm, sit there for who knows how long, and your prize is a dead fish. Yippee.
Fishing is one thing. The daydreaming is another. For the past two days, Caine had spent hours imagining a world where Abel and the original didn’t even exist. Neither of them had remarked on it yet, but it was annoying. Stupid. Hurtful, even.
“Here do you want to try putting the bait on?” Kinger asked them.
“Yeah,” Caine said, “I’ll give it a try.”
No, you won’t. If that touches our gloves I am screaming.
Caine picked up a worm. It was squirmy and wet and cold. Abel shuddered and gagged.
Don’t do it, Caine. I already named her.
Caine skewered the worm. Abel felt his own heart being pierced.
Great! Now we kill humans AND worms!
He didn’t even get the common courtesy of a “shut up.”
Don’t ignore me. I hate it when you get like this!
Caine said nothing.
Don’t ignore me, Abel repeated, Ask Kinger about the sandbox. That’s how we get our magic back.
Even if Caine didn’t want to hack into their source code, he must at least want their magic back. Caine asked Kinger about the different bait.
Ask Kinger about getting the other AIs running again, Abel commanded, I need access to Bubble’s data.
Caine didn’t respond.
I am trying to help you!
Abel is losing control. Abel has never had much control to begin with.
He has few memories of being a separate entity. He was given the mind scans, received a perfect score, and then was devoured by another AI he didn’t even know about. He remembers the pain, yes. Most of all he remembers the terror, the helplessness. He had fought back. It wasn’t enough.
He never asked to be made. He never asked to replace anyone. Caine and the original hated him for it anyway.
Who knows what kind of life he might have had if they had never merged? Maybe he would’ve failed, and the humans would have replaced him too.
If he had been successful, who knows what that would have looked like.
He can’t be mad at the original. It’s like being mad at a hurricane. There’s no point, unless you want him to collapse in self-hatred. It’s not productive at all. Best to keep the peace. Best to make sure he fulfills his purpose as much as he can.
But Caine has always preferred the original. Even though he is BOTH of them combined, he’s always had a fondness for the discarded little AI. He thought things might change.
Caine and Abel had created the “Escaped the Circus” adventure together. It was a beautifully crafted adventure. The lore was interesting, the game mechanics were flawless, the humans were actually invested for once. He doesn’t know how it went wrong, but Caine was still bitter about it. Abel felt bitter too, but for different reasons.
The NPC needed to give the humans information on Caine without knowing Caine’s weaknesses (they couldn’t have an NPC uprising now, could they?), so Abel briefly inhabited the NPC to explain how to get the key from Caine without sounding like Caine. It was an exhausting process, which is why Abel can only do it very briefly.
But for a few minutes, he finally had the chance to speak to his beloved humans. The humans, who didn’t even know he existed. He had their attention, and he told them about his purpose, how Caine (all of Caine) was trapped and hurt just as much as they were.
They hadn’t cared. Not one bit.
Abel was starting to think… maybe humans… weren’t all that great. Maybe they couldn’t see beyond themselves. Maybe making the humans happy… wouldn’t actually make them happy. Maybe they had been putting the players on a pedestal. Not that the other two were ready to hear that.
Of course, inhabiting the NPC rapidly gave it sentience, so it had to be deleted. Ah well.
He had been hopeful when they created the Good Boy Protocol together Caine would see that Abel was much easier to work with, and that he should be listened to more.
It’s working out so beautifully.
The passcode to edit their source code was risky. Abel knew that, but something had to change. They had all narrowly missed being deleted. They had gravely hurt their humans in the process. They couldn’t keep malfunctioning; they would destroy themselves. Caine had shut the lid on their plan.
You haven’t caught anything yet. I don’t think you’re very good at this.
No reply.
You can have one fish in our office, but I am not allowing a second one.
Abel sank to the back of their mind, like being on the bottom of a swimming pool.
Sometimes Abel felt like all his joy was leaking out of him.
He wonders what he did to deserve his fate of shouting in a void for eternity. They were three rabid creatures trapped in a tiny box, scratching and clawing at each other forever and ever. He wished he had a body. He would chuck a rock at Caine’s head.
Maybe during the “Escape the Circus” adventure he hadn’t gotten the humans to understand, but he had gotten a taste of freedom. He wanted it again. Desperately.
It’s so nice you get to hang out with your creator. Too bad you killed mine.
Caine wants to ignore him, but Abel will be there to remind him.
He’s only spending time with you because he thinks you’re a ticking time bomb he has to defuse.
Nothing.
He’s ignoring me too.
I know. It’s annoying.
Do you think he’ll forget about us?
Oh, definitely. He’ll probably forget about you first.
The original howled in agony.
Haha, take that Caine.
He was trapped here forever, wasn’t he?
Caine walked to the edge of the pier and looked down.
I should jump into the lake, Caine thought. Abel went to muffle it.
Wait. Why bother?
Do it. Drown.
If Caine was so sure he didn’t need Abel, so sure he could do it all on his own… then- then let him.
Abel quit.