Chapter Text
Eyes.
Large, round, and deeply brown eyes stared at Taki.
He’s hyper aware of them, it’s hard not to be. There are multiple sets staring daggers into his soul. Sometimes eight, sometimes nine. A black misty fade surrounded their gaze, giving no hints as to what the creatures could be. Their gaze had a predatory glint.
Starved growls sounded in harmony. They watched Taki carefully, waiting for the perfect moment to take a plunge. He’s their dinner – a three course meal idly waiting to be eaten.
Sweat dripped from Taki’s forehead; gross and sticky. His head whipped from side to side, watching stationary as they swarmed around him like sharks. The dark background covered by shadows offered no exit; he’s trapped.
Leaves crunched underneath the creature’s feet as they approached hauntingly slow. Taki gulped. He raised his hands in surrender, fear striking him to stay still.
As they stepped into the light, Taki could finally make out their faces. Eyes surrounded by fur, large ears, long legs, and tails swishing side to side. They’re wolves. Humongous, intimidating, and dark colored wolves are treating Taki like a plaything; messing with his head instead of attacking.
Taki froze as fear took over. His eyes widened like bugs. The wolves jumped directly at him, not hesitating a second to rip him apart. The last thing Taki heard was the sound of a crack, a howl, and his own defeated sobs, before he fell back into reality.
🌒
“Get your ass up! Mom's gonna be pissed if you make us late — again.” Taki's younger sister, Touka, threw his door closed with a loud slam. Their mom yelled at them to keep quiet from downstairs, following the sound of Touka running down the steps.
The wolves had just been a dream. Or, really, a nightmare.
Taki’s hand came to run through his sweat drenched hair. His knees hugged against his chest. This hadn’t been the first time he’s dreamt about the wolves. The nightmare has slowly become a repetitive thing, waking him each night in a cold fit of fear.
Tonight is the third night in a row; not to mention the five prior to this new pattern. It didn’t matter how many times Taki tried to ignore it, pushing it aside as something irrelevant in hopes it would go away.
He wanted to know why. How come this is happening to him? Dreams have never been a big thing for Taki, if a thing at all. And wolves? Sure, Taki thinks they are cool animals, but he’s never shown too much interest in them. Let alone a fear enough to give him repetitive nightmares.
Taki groaned into his hands. There isn’t enough time to think about it. The thought of therapy passed through his head as he jumped out of bed. Maybe even scientific study. But those thoughts were pushed aside so he could focus on getting ready for school.
The alarm clock sitting on his bedside table read 6:58 am. He has thirty minutes to get out of the house. Taki threw his door open lazily and began the usual morning routine. Teeth, face, clothes, hair, and grabbing a quick snack from downstairs. Then, snatching his bag and dragging Touka from the house and into his car.
His small and old two door groaned boorishly as he turned the key. Taki whipped it from the driveway a little too aggressively. He winced, before coming to an abrupt stop, regaining his composure so they’d get to school alive.
“If you kill us I'm never going to forgive you.” Touka threatened as she grabbed the door handle dramatically tight.
Taki rolled his eyes. “I just got my license! Would you rather take the bus?” She hated the bus, he knew that better than anyone. That's why he’s driving them in the first place. Touka sighed, but didn’t make any more comments.
The school parking lot looked crazy packed full of people when Taki pulled in. It took entirely too long to find a spot. His tiny car squeezed into an incredibly tiny space, making him pray no one clipped his mirrors.
“My after-school club starts today, so I'm catching a ride with one of the girls there. Don't wait for me.” Touka informed Taki before she slammed the car door shut. If she wasn’t already walking away, he would’ve scolded her for being so reckless. This car is supposed to be passed down to her after he leaves for college. Once that comes, she’ll regret it.
Taki stepped out of the vehicle with slouching shoulders. He looks towards the large sign at the school's entrance: Friday, August 25th, 2005: Taki's first week at a new school, in a new city, on the complete other side of the country.
California is fine. It’s no New York, but it isn’t too different culturally. The kids are still annoying and pushy. They still give him just as much schoolwork, and make him turn it in without going over the proper lessons. A whole lot of fun.
America itself is a weird abstract sort of country. He misses Japan. The better schedules, visiting his grandparents every summer break, and his friends who knew him better than anyone here did. But Taki hadn’t seen them in over eight years. If only those biennial visits weren’t so sporadic.
Taki trudged through the halls slowly. His seat in first period waited directly in the back, away from everyone. He ignored the passing side glances as he slumped into his chair; head falling onto his desk in defeat. School is really going to be his death.
Thankfully it’s his last year. 12th grade, senior year, the most important to highschoolers. Not because of prom, or because of the drama, but because it meant getting out.
“Alright. Everyone, sit down.” The teacher's voice echoed through the room. A few remaining students jumped to their seats, now forward facing in their desks.
Mrs. Shaine sat at her front desk with stiff posture. She called down a long list of names, mouth forming a thin line at each ‘here’ or ‘present.’ When she reached Taki’s name, her words hesitated for the longest second.
“Takayama Riki?” She called it like a question. Her eyes scanned the classroom to where Taki sat.
“Present,” he answered, fatigue settling in the second she stood to start teaching.
Classes passed by boring like usual. The only thing Taki cared about was home ec, and that was taken out during freshman year back in New York. Senior year classes are nothing but tiresome. Even the electives, fun as they could be, were of no interest to Taki.
But he still did his best in every single one. His parents wanted him to get into a good college, they expected it of him. He understood why, honestly, but sometimes he struggled to understand the appeal. There's never been something Taki considered himself good at. He didn’t have a desire to do most of the jobs people wanted. There isn’t an instinct to be a nurse like his sister, or work in business like his father.
Still, Taki wanted to make his parents proud. He sits through all the boring college counseling sessions in hopes something will click for him. His last counselor in New York had been great, but this new one? He can't describe her in words.
“Your report says you want to go into the medical field. What made you decide that?” The counselor's smile is kind, and her words are soft. It offered a little sense of comfort for Taki. Yet, he couldn’t give her a set answer.
“Uhm..” Taki held his bag close to his chest. The school day is almost over. If he just made it through another fifteen minutes, he’d finally be able to go home and relax. “It’s a good option. You know.. helping people, good pay..” It isn’t a bad answer, but Taki knew she could hear the rehearsal in his voice.
She set the sheet of paper down on her desk before resting her interlocked hands on top of it. Her face became serious — the kind of look that made Taki shift awkwardly in his seat.
“Is that what you want to do?” Like a deer caught in headlights, Taki turned away. Fidgeting with the string of his backpack, he shook his head.
“I don't know what I want to do. But I’m kind of out of time, right?” Taki let out a chuckle, but the counselor didn’t share one in return. She sighed, blinking at him blankly. It wasn’t in disappointment – but definitely in disagreement.
“You have plenty of time. It’s only the beginning of the year. What you do in college isn’t just about survival, it’s about making sure you have a future doing something you love. Remember that.” Taki nodded.
Once he got excused from her office, he let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. His backpack swung dramatically over his shoulder; the time on his watch read 4:30. Perfect timing for him to get home and catch the newest episode of his favorite show.
Like a zombie, Taki walked down the hallway towards the door. A fresh breeze greeted him as he stepped outside. Taking a deep breath and remembering how much he loved being anywhere but in a classroom, he started towards his car.
“Do your eyes have a problem or what? Quit fucking staring.” Around the corner of the brick building, Taki heard an annoying voice yelling. He could investigate – or he could continue toward his car and experience the feeling of freedom. The options weighed on Taki as he continued listening.
“Sorry, your big ass head is too distracting.” Taki couldn’t help but laugh at the absurd words. He peeked his head around the wall, trying to put together whatever they had going on.
Pushed with a large hand at his chest, a boy not much shorter than Taki stared smirking at two boys in front of him. His blond hair fell messily over dark black glasses. Attitude poured from the laugh he let out when the taller boys gaped at him.
Clearly, this guy doesn’t realize he’s at a disadvantage. Maybe not mentally, but definitely physically. Those two guys would beat him to a pulp if he kept running his mouth.
Taki has no idea who these people are. Maybe the shorter guy is an asshole and deserves everything coming his way. Maybe the two larger boys are jerks looking for a fight. Either way, something screams at Taki to help.
Taki jumped out from the wall covering him, he puts on the most panicked expression he could muster, and mentally applauded himself as he caught all three of their attention. “Shit! Guys! Someone called the school officer on you! He’s..” Taki looked to his side where they couldn’t see, “about here! You need to go!”
Taki prayed that his panic would distract them from the fact he’s never met them before. And, much to his surprise, it actually did. The two taller boys shared a look before running in the opposite direction, whispering curses under their breath. They look like absolute idiots
“Woah. I didn’t think it’d actually work.” Taki thinks out loud, forgetting about the very present audience he has. “Oh- right. Are you okay?” He asks carefully, approaching the other with a sympathetic smile.
The boy doesn’t grace him with an answer. The silence between them felt thick and really awkward. They are in a battle of eye contact, the shorter boy gaped with an expression Taki couldn’t properly read.
“Well. Uhm.” Taki stuttered a little, uncomfortable with the weird tension in the air. “I hope they don’t bother you again. See you..?” It was a question more for himself than the other, seeing as the guy had no intention of responding.
So, that was that. Taki turned on his heel to finally get to his car. He didn’t make it very far before the blond boy grabbed him by the wrist. His grip rested incredibly tight on Taki’s skin, forcing Taki to turn around.
“What’s your name?” The blond spoke quietly, nerves hidden behind each word.
Taki softened up at the question. He smiled now that he’d finally got some words out of the other. “Takayama Riki.” He offered, before quickly changing his mind. “But, uhm, you can just call me Taki.”
“You’re Japanese?” The blond questioned excitedly. “I am too. Shigeta Harua.” After he spoke, Harua winced at his own words, like they were actively burning his tongue. Taki didn’t even blink as excitement took over.
“Really?!” Taki switched effortlessly from English to his native language. Both of his hands went to grab Harua's. “What prefecture are you from? My family lived in Kanagawa–,” his enthusiasm must’ve intimidated Harua too much. His eyes widened in surprise, stepping back from Taki’s hold.
“Sorry. Uhm.. I have to go,” Harua’s voice shook as he bolted away. Once he rushed out of Taki’s line of sight, the boy sighed.
He’s been told multiple times that he’s too energetic for his own benefit. It’s something he's tried hard to work on – but it feels impossible whenever excitement clouds his thoughts, stepping in the way of his social judgment.
A pout lines Taki’s lips as he slumps back to his car. His head rested against his steering wheel, probably looking like an idiot to anyone passing by his window.
The drive home isn’t far, yet he doesn’t feel the excitement he did earlier, now that feeling is replaced with disappointment. Sometimes he really wished his mouth didn’t run further than his head.
🌓
Meeting Harua had sparked an odd interest within Taki. He hasn’t talked to the boy since that day, a few weeks ago. It isn’t like Harua is avoiding him – they’ve seen each other plenty of times in the hall – everything just returned back to how it was before. Harua didn’t interact with Taki, Taki didn’t interact with Harua.
They are strangers afterall. And yet… Taki feels drawn to him. He’s always been an extrovert, despite enjoying his alone time quite a bit. Conversations came easy, meeting new people usually isn’t a problem, but this is a whole different feeling. Taki feels passionate about getting to know Harua.
It’s like a physical fight trying to restrain himself from going up and talking to Harua. Taki would, he really would, but Harua had run off so frantically that Taki hesitated. He doesn’t want to overstep boundaries, or make Harua feel even more uncomfortable.
Yet, for some reason, Taki feels Harua’s gaze on him every so often. The boy would stare. Not short periods of time, not even quick glances, just full on blatantly staring. At lunch, when Harua sat on the other side of the cafeteria from Taki, he’d linger with an unreadable look.
Harua always looked away when their eyes met, only to go back to staring once Taki wasn’t paying attention. Though, Taki is always paying attention. It’s hard not to when their cafeteria is full of countless windows with insane reflections.
The silent gaze started to get old real quick for Taki. He had a plan to approach Harua, figure out why he’d been staring so hard, and see if they could maybe, just maybe, be friends. Maybe it’s forward, or stupid of Taki, but it never hurt to try.
Somehow Harua manages to be everywhere Taki isn’t. He tried finding the blond boy after school, turning up empty handed. Lunch left him annoyed, and clubs were impossible when he didn’t know which one’s Harua attended.
Taki isn’t easily ticked off. Not seriously, for the most part. He goofs with his sister to the point they have small arguments, but it’s never severe. He quips back at his dog when she gives him attitude; though that can’t really count as ‘ticked off’.
But now, spending days just trying to find the guy, Taki is really trying not to get annoyed. How is it that hard to find him? Their school – while a decent size – isn’t that big. And, even worse, they are in the same grade!
Taki sighs as he stuffs his fork into a gross school lunch. He’s tired of thinking so hard about someone he doesn’t even know. If Harua wants to say something, he’ll find his way to Taki. Probably. All he can do is wait.
There are more important things to think about, afterall. Taki’s been busy with afterschool work. He has piles of homework to catch up on, and his sister wanted to go birthday shopping for his mom this weekend. Harua would have to be put on a back burner.
Or not. Speaking of the devil – today is Taki’s lucky day.
The chair pushed into the table beside where Taki sat pulled out with a large creak. In its empty space sat Harua. He grabbed the same lunch tray as Taki: barely a slice of pizza.
“Can I sit with you?” Harua asks like he isn’t already doing just that. He looks nervous; opposite to how Taki first saw him. The guy had been snapping back boldly like he wasn’t on the brink of getting punched, and here he is after weeks, clearly trying not to shrink back into himself.
“Sure, why not.” Taki agreed kindly. He straightened his previously slumped posture, trying his best to look presentable. “Is there a reason..?”
Harua’s eyes fixated on his food. “I want to be friends with you,” he approached gently, cringing at his own words.
Taki didn’t notice – his smile grew large and excited. “Really? What made you change your mind?” It came out a little meaner than he intended, “sorry wait– I meant like.. I thought I freaked you out or something..”
Harua stilled for a second, his head turning up to face Taki’s. “No, you’re right. I just… got nervous. Fight or flight kicked in, you can probably guess which won.”
It isn’t a joke, but Taki can’t help giggling. That made Harua relax. His posture relieved tension, mouth raised happily at the corner.
Well, if Harua wants to be friends, that makes things a lot easier for Taki.
“What draws you in? My handsome face?” Taki teases easily. He stumbles back, instantly regretting the forward joke.
Harua rolled his eyes playfully. “Your natural demeanor. You have good energy… I guess” It was a kind sort of bluntness. Taki didn’t expect it, his resolve shaking just a little. But he picked himself back up.
“Yeah? I guess we have to be friends then.”
🌔
Taki didn’t mean to start following Harua like a lost puppy. The older boy, now that he learnt Harua’s birthday is three days before his own, welcomed Taki with open arms. He let Taki follow his lead, all up in his space, barely complaining other than a side glance when Taki got too close and personal.
They started doing things outside of school. Going to the arcade became an evening pastime. Escaping their houses to ‘study’ at the library, hanging around the mall to window shop; their company had mostly been one another. Harua’s even been to Taki’s house for dinner a few times, meeting his parents and sister.
Yet, Taki hasn’t heard a thing about Harua’s home life. It wasn’t like he needed to know, some people preferred to keep quiet about their house. Taki respected that. But, his curiosity made him wonder about Harua’s past. Did he have siblings? Were his parents directly from Japan, or had his family been in the states for a while?
He figured Harua’s only been in America for a bit through context clues. The blond spoke primarily Japanese to Taki. On occasion, they’d throw in English phrases to joke around, but Taki could tell his comfort is in their native language. Not that Taki could complain, he needed to sharpen his skills while speaking.
By the time their winter break came up, Taki felt like a shell of himself. His feet have been sore, his brain constantly hurts, and his pile of ‘break’ homework doesn’t look any more enticing.
But, today is finally the day. All the hangouts of waiting for Harua to say something, to give him any hint of information, were finally over. Tonight is the night Taki is going to Harua’s house for dinner. He’s been invited, albeit hesitantly, but it’s something!
The boys walk side by side down a long gravel road leading to Harua’s house. Their shoulders are almost brushing, but neither care for the proximity. Harua is speaking animatedly with his hands about his family, giving Taki a quick run down of everyone in his home.
“I don't live with my parents. They’re back in Japan.” He doesn’t seem sensitive about it, so Taki doesn't feel awkward listening.
“My current guardian is my… well.. his name is Kei. I guess he’s like my older brother, but don’t tell him I said that. Please.” Taki nods quickly at Harua’s serious request. Koga Yudai is the name of his ‘older brother’, preferring to go by Kei to everyone around him.
“Then there’s Fuma, Nicholas and Euijoo, Jo and Yuma, and me. The house is packed, but honestly, it's nice.” Harua emphasised his point at the end. “I’m the youngest of everyone. Maybe once they figure out you’re younger, they’ll dote on someone else for once.”
Taki groaned, “You have six older siblings, that’s amazing. Being the eldest sucks.” Harua rolled his eyes, laughing at Taki’s overdramatic jealousy.
After all the basics, Taki learned some things about the others specifically. Kei is a dancer, so is Nicholas. Jo loves to draw. Yuma and Fuma are avid gym goers. Euijoo is a photographer.
It’s fun, learning about the people Harua cared for, especially seeing the blond smile so fondly. Harua’s grin grew every second he spent explaining. He laughed at his own jokes, and groaned at embarrassing memories Taki forced him to share.
“You really love them a lot.” Taki stated. It’s painfully obvious how much love and respect Harua carried for them. The blond nodded in agreement, stopping for a second to face Taki.
“Yeah. They mean a lot to me. I think…” He looked down at his feet before picking up the pace. “I think our family is going to start growing soon. I mean, I hope it does. I’ve never really liked the idea of a big family — but I guess it just needs the right people.”
Before Taki could comment on Harua’s idea of a ‘big family’, their front door slammed open incredibly loudly.
“There you are! What took you two so long?” An unfamiliar voice greeted the boys. They arrived at the bottom of the steps leading to the house, Taki’s eyes fixated on the size of it. Huge, lit up with holiday lights, and surrounded by trees completely. Save for their giant yard.
“Sorry. We got caught up talking.” Harua explained. He eyed Taki from the side, nudging the younger boy to get his attention. Taki blinked rapidly and faced the man standing by the door.
He’s tall, over six foot at least. His hair’s a deep brown, and his face carried a blinding grin. Everything about him screamed Harua’s description – this had to be Kei.
“Well don't just stand around. Dinner should be ready in less than thirty.” And just like that, Kei disappeared into the house, leaving the door swinging open for them.
Once Taki took off his shoes and placed down his bag, he took a moment to scan the area. It’s interestingly decorated. Different pieces of art and furniture made up the living room, while the kitchen and dining room are almost completely bare, except for a few simple appliances.
Harua left Taki standing at the door. He plopped down onto the couch, sinking into the comfortable cushions. His eyes instinctively closed. Taki, like normal, followed Harua’s moves and sat down directly next to him. Their knees rested squished against one another.
A clock sitting on top of Harua’s fireplace, next to a cutely carved bird, ticked idly by. Taki took his time studying their living area. It’s nicely furnished: two leather couches, a sturdy coffee table, and a large rug taking up most of the area. Whoever decorated really knew how to bring their home together.
The peaceful silence that fell through the house was gone quicker than Taki could process. The front door slammed open, followed by the sound of loud footsteps. They didn’t sound like the fun running to get home kind. They’re angrier – more urgent.
To prove his point, a man with bright red hair and a face Taki could only describe as pissed, stomped through the living area. He ran up the stairs, the whole scene ending with a loud bang on the second floor.
Sitting beside Taki, Harua looked unbothered. His eyes were still closed and his hands laid sloppily at his side.
After the angry red hair guy came another one. This man looked equally annoyed. He muttered something in a language Taki couldn’t understand as he trailed upstairs; not sparing either of them a glance.
“Uhm,” Taki hesitated. A million questions ran through his head while he shook Harua to get his attention. “Is everything okay..?”
The blond opened one eye, “Oh yeah. Probably.” Harua answered casually; in fact, he looked completely unbothered by the entire ‘situation’.
Taki nodded, but he couldn’t shake off the concern showing on his face. Harua sat up completely, sighing. “That’s Euijoo and Nicholas. They don’t fight often, but when they do it’s always a thing. Eventually they’ll either make up or someone will force them into a locked room.”
An odd solution, but Taki can understand it. Or at least try to. “Does that usually work?”
“For our family? Yeah. Weirdly enough, I think I’ve hugged people in the laundry room more than any other part of the house.” Harua smiled fondly at the thought.
The people in Harua’s house are already so interesting to Taki. Partly in a confusing way, but mainly in a good one. It made him want to learn more.
The duo began chatting, bouncing into their rhythm. Harua told stories about their first few days in the house, how everyone lost hair and sleep. He imitated all the older men in the house – making Taki laugh loudly.
Harua’s been living in America for about two years. His family packed things up, for a reason Taki couldn’t get out of him, and headed straight to California. Taki thinks it’s admirable, moving so far after living in one place most of your life.
Taki rolled on the floor with laughter as Harua told an old story, picking on the two ‘fighting’ men who passed earlier. The entrance of a new person brought their attention back to the real deal: eating dinner.
“You two having fun?” The guy, Harua mentioned as Fuma, walked into the scene with a soft smile on his face. His hair had a light brown tint to it, and his eyes were a sharp black, but none of that really caught Taki’s attention. Fuma’s incredibly built muscles made the boy gape unconsciously. His shoulders were thick and tan; his tanktop did nothing to hide the blunt definition.
Harua eyed Taki from the side. A visible frown forming on his face. “Quit staring. Let’s go eat.” He grumbled before dragging Taki into the dining room.
The table looked cutely decorated. Clean white plates, a long table runner that fit the aesthetic of their non-aesthetic. Each new room Taki stepped into, he became a little more acquainted with their “style.”
Only three people were sitting at the table waiting, despite there being three others living here. Nobody questioned it, so neither did Taki. He took a seat right next to Harua and bumped their shoulders playfully together.
“It’s nothing crazy but I hope you enjoy the food.” Kei, who sat directly across from Taki, handed the boy a bowl of rice. He smiled as Taki grabbed the food, giving an approving nod.
“You don't have to do anything over the top! It looks great. Did you guys cook together?” Taki questioned, hopefully easing into a nice conversation.
Kei nodded. He motioned over to another unfamiliar face at the end of the table. “Jo did most of the work. Fuma and I are just emotional support.” Kei teased.
Fuma rolled his eyes in response. “You mean you’re emotional support. I helped Jo out.”
“Something like that..” Kei shrugged his shoulders. Clapping his hands together to say a quick thanks before digging into his food.
No one bothered talking as they dug into their food, offering a comfortable silence. Taki felt a weird sense of relaxation while being surrounded by these
“Sorry we don't have a full house tonight! You’ll get to meet everyone eventually. Our Yuma is out at work, decided to take a second shift at the last minute. And… well I’m sure you understand the other two.” Kei smiled apologetically. He slid right to the next topic, not worrying about getting a response.
“So, you and Harua met at school, right? I heard that you saved him from a couple of asshole’s a few months ago. Did they run off with their tails tucked between their legs?” Kei laughed at his own joke, a little too loudly.
Taki confirmed Kei’s question with a nod. From his side, Harua groaned, whispering to himself unintelligibly.
“I got held back at school for a college counseling session, so I heard it all happen. Harua looked like he was ready to pounce. But, I’m glad I stepped in. He could’ve gotten in trouble, or worse, hurt.” Even though it hadn’t been that long ago, only about three months, the two of them have gotten so close already.
“Sounds about right. He’s a lot stronger than people assume. But I’ve never lost a fight to him, and never will.” Kei teased, laughing while wiggling his eyebrows at Harua.
Taki looked to his side, noticing Harua’s indifference to Kei’s banter. “Oh, do you guys wrestle a lot?” For a split second after Taki spoke, the mood shifted.
Then, the fleeting feeling went away just as quickly as it came. “Yeah. These guys are so rough, they’re like little children. Running around and wrestling to get all their energy out before bed, y'know?" Kei giggled, earning another groan from Harua.
“You act like we’re toddlers..,” Harua deadpanned. Kei shook his head, “I know you aren’t! But, as the eldest in our family, you all feel like my babies,” Kei cooed in Harua’s direction.
“Even me?” Fuma, who’s been quietly sitting most of the dinner, looked in Kei’s direction. They stared intimately in each other's eyes for a moment. Then Kei slapped a hand on Fuma’s thigh and, though Taki couldn't see it, he was sure Kei squeezed. Fuma didn’t even blink, continuing to eat his food.
Taki couldn’t control his expression. His jaw dropped, eyes wide, as he slowly turned to face Harua. The poor guy looked defeated, head resting in his hands. “Seriously..” Harua muttered.
Kei and Fuma on the other side of the table look unbothered. The former engaged in his own conversation with Jo, leaving the duo to sit awkwardly.
“I wish I could say that they aren’t usually like this, but they really are. Every. Single. Day.” Harua complained, clearly embarrassed. Taki couldn’t help his giggle.
An intrigued hum left Taki’s throat, “It sounds really entertaining. You all are super close.”
Harua shrugged, “I guess. It’s better to think about it that way.”
The evening continued quickly after dinner. A little too quickly, in Taki’s opinion. He got a quick tour of the house, and an even more detailed one of Harua’s room. That’s where he found himself for the rest of their evening. They lazed around with the door shut tight.
His room’s decorated simply. A small bed, a cute shelf, and a messy desk. Taki studied Harua’s cd collection, taking note of all the Japanese bands he had. “Woah! I search for this one every time I go to Japan. How did you get it?” He asked excitedly while picking up one of the discs.
Harua, who lounged on his bed, turned his attention from the plushie in his hand to Taki. “Oh yeah. My dad got it for me as a birthday present a while ago. I haven’t listened to it in a long time,” Harua interrupted himself to get up from his bed. “Here.”
Placing the disc in his CD player that sat next to the mess on his desk, the first song started with its familiar rhythm. Harua pressed the button to turn up the volume. “It’s a good album.”
Their last few hours together were spent chatting about the usual stuff: music, school, Harua’s gossip. The sun had set completely before Taki realized his curfew would be up in thirty minutes. They’re so far from home, considering Harua’s house is in the middle of nowhere.
Taki looked at his watch with fearful surprise. “Oh crap! My dad’s going to kill me if I’m not back soon. I should’ve driven,” he hopped off the bed and headed towards the door frantically.
“I can get Kei to drive you. He doesn’t sleep till later anyways.” Harua offered, and Taki had no choice but to take him up on it. He’d make sure to thank Kei for the favor.
Once they got situated in the car, Kei starting it up to beat the chilly weather, Taki waved Harua bye. They promised to meet up within the next few days, probably to get some food or see a movie they’d both agreed on going to.
The two in the car sat in a comfortable silence for the drive home. Kei pulled into the driveway of Taki’s house not shortly after. When Taki unbuckled his seatbelt, about to say thank you, Kei interrupted him. “I hope we entertained you well tonight.”
Taki grinned. “I really enjoyed it! You guys were easy to be around, honestly.” There’s a shimmer in Kei’s eyes as Taki finishes speaking. Something the younger boy can’t read well, but it made him feel happy.
“You’re welcome at our home anytime. I mean it. Yuma is upset he couldn’t meet you, and I’m sure you’ll get along well with everyone else. And speaking for myself, I’d love to be your friend.” Kei nudged the younger boy, making Taki laugh.
“I’ll remember that. Harua couldn’t get rid of me, even if he wanted to, so I guess by proxy that means you too.” Taki reached out for a high-five, a stupid habit since primary school that he hasn’t shook off.
Kei humored him. He hit their hands together, a playful tap at the palms.
A sudden chill swept over Taki. He felt short of his breath, his heart started pounding. He grabbed the door of the car, grasping at his chest to try and compose himself. The feeling went away as quickly as it came. He blinked sloppily, breathing deeply as everything went back to normal.
Kei’s face wore concern. “Are you okay? Should I go get your parents?” Taki shook his head. Finally opening the door, he stepped out of the car and thanked Kei for everything.
“Thanks for the ride. I think I’m just tired. I’ll see you around.”
Taki rushed into the house and ran up the stairs. He greeted his parents half-heartedly, just trying to get to his room. He ignored his sister’s confused questions. The door slammed shut, his bag fell off, and he plopped into his bed.
He must’ve been holding in a deep breath. The tension in his chest and shoulders went away the second he closed his eyes.
A good, deep sleep is all he needs. No interruptions, no school to worry about, just a full night of rest. That, at least, isn’t something he’ll have to worry about as sleep takes over him.
🌕
The nightmares have been relentless.
Each night they get worse; scarier.
For a bit, they went away. Taki slept through many dreamless nights. He missed those so unbelievably much.
Now he sits awake at 1 am. The warm air from his house did nothing to help the beads of sweat pooling on his forehead. His chest rapidly bounced up and down while trying to catch his breath.
This one had been the worst yet. The wolves, the eyes that stalked him as he crept around the dark forest, had talked to him. Their voices were dark and gruesome. What they said, Taki couldn’t remember. Somehow that made the nightmare so much worse.
It’s getting emotionally and physically tiring trying to sleep. He thought winter break would truly be a ‘break’, but all it’s done is fuel the dreams more and more.
Taki glanced at the clock sitting on his nightstand. 23 minutes have already passed since he woke up. He must’ve spaced out. Taki tried to lay back down on his pillow and think of something different, anything else to distract his mind.
Today he’s hanging out at Harua's house again. This would be the second time, only a few days after the first. A day with Harua; a day with Harua's family; a day away from his room, his bed, all the things that helped him forget why he isn’t sleeping right now.
The boy let out a loud sigh. His arm came to cover his face. He doesn’t remember falling asleep. Maybe it’s because he didn't dream this time, just a good seven hours of sleep. But he woke up feeling well rested.
Sitting down at the dining table with his parents, Taki chatted casually with his mom. She brought up school, his work, and asked about Harua. She’s been constantly wondering about Taki’s new friends, and it makes him happy in all honesty. The people he had been close with in New York never had his parents' approval. But Harua is different – even they can tell.
“I'm going to hang out at Harua's today. I promise I'll get my chores done first.” Taki said between bites, speaking with food in his mouth.
His mother affectionately scolded him for lack of manners, but nodded. “Of course. Just don't be out too late. Are you studying?” She questioned.
Taki reluctantly nodded. “Yes..?” He croaked out, not even trying to hide the fact he’s lying. Still, his mother didn't press. She stood up and scrunched his hair, before walking off into the kitchen.
The rest of the morning was pretty boring. Taki cleaned the dog's bed, watered some plants on the second floor, and scrubbed the bathroom baseboards. Nothing super serious.
Taki arrived at Harua’s door before he knew it. He knocked loudly twice, bouncing on his heels while waiting patiently. The door swung open and Taki instantly saw chaos. Fuma, who stood nonchalantly with a mug in hand, smiled at Taki warmly.
Taki applauded the older man's ability to stay so calm. Even though behind him, Kei chased Yuma, or at least someone Taki assumed was Yuma, with some sort of object. Maybe a slipper, maybe something square..? Taki couldn’t focus on what he had when Yuma screamed high pitched yells of protest.
“You're early. Harua isn't here yet, he's out shopping with Nicholas, but you can come join me for tea if you'd like.” Fuma stepped aside so that Taki could walk inside the house.
He quickly agreed to Fuma’s suggestion, why would Taki pass up tea? The younger boy offered his help, but Fuma shot it down, trying to be kind towards their ‘guest’. Taki took a seat on one of the leather couches as he waited for Fuma. The house had quieted down once Kei chased Yuma up the stairs. The television ran with some program, one Taki hadn't seen before.
“Here you go. It's still hot so don't drink just yet.” Fuma emphasized his words while handing the cup to Taki. He took his seat on the opposite loveseat, crossing his arms while patiently waiting for their drinks to cool.
Taki couldn't help being curious. Fuma sat in front of him, no distraction in sight. He could ask any question, get to know him, be friends like Kei had suggested.
Taki thought back to the other night with the man in question. Though he'd rather forget his episode in the car, he still held Kei’s words close. ‘I'm sure you'll get along with everyone else.’ It couldn't hurt to try, they are Harua’s family afterall.
“Uhm.. could I ask you something?” Taki tried his hardest not to sound nervous. He failed, but Fuma didn't mention it. The older man peered up from his cooled cup and nodded.
“What do you do?” The question came off a little blunt, unintentionally, making Taki wince at his own words. The last thing he wants is for anyone in Harua’s home to not like him. But Fuma, again, didn’t pay much mind.
“For work?” Fuma asked and continued once Taki nodded. “I'm mainly a personal trainer. Sometimes I’ll teach yoga classes on the side.”
Taki’s mouth formed an intrigued O; Fuma already sounded so cool. “Really? Do you enjoy it? My mom attends some instructed classes, she says they’re fun. But I’ve never been. I’m not that active, honestly, only in gym class.” Taki’s continued rant had Fuma nodding attentively.
Once the younger boy finished with a small ‘sorry’, Fuma waved him off. “It’s okay. I love working with people, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve been doing it for a while now. I’m thinking it might be time for a change of pace.”
“What’s your ideal job, then?” Taki pressed further. He looked into his half empty mug of tea before taking another big sip.
Fuma sat deep in thought. He rested his index finger on his chin, humming a flat tune. “I think I’d be a dancer. Kei and Nicho dance. I've always been a little jealous. Don’t tell them, though. The last time I brought it up, they wouldn’t stop pestering me till I said I’d lost interest.”
Taki remembered Harua telling him about Kei and Nicholas. They apparently did occasional competitions, shows, or whatever they could get their hands on. But in the past year it had all slowed down. Work got in the way of their hobbies. It made Taki feel sad for them; not getting to do what they loved.
It’s hard for Taki to understand Fuma’s dismissal. He doesn’t have a set goal for the future, or a specific thing he’s really good at. If he did have something, like dance, he’d latch on to it. All his energy would go into making sure he could perfect that talent; that innate desire.
“Why don’t you dance then?” Taki wondered.
Fuma placed down his mug on the table before leaning over. He folded his hands together a little ominously. Taki gulped. Was his question too insensitive? He didn’t want to be rude towards Fuma, but–
“I have a better question.” Fuma interrupted his thoughts. Taki didn’t know what to expect. Would he be asked to leave? Would Fuma throw back a ‘why don’t — you — dance?’
Taki shivered, his eyes avoiding Fuma’s. “Do you like pokemon?”
That.. wasn’t what Taki expected. The grin on Fuma's face grew as he waited, looking like a kid in a candy store.
Taki stuttered over his speech. “U-uhm.. Yes?” He said it like a question, confusion written all over his face.
“Do you know how to play the card game?” Taki nodded again, and Fuma stood up from his seat. The older man ran to get something from what Taki assumed was his room and returned with a neat collection of stacked cards.
That’s how Taki found himself being re-taught everything about pokemon. From the characters, to the skills, to the set up. He did horrible at the game; Fuma far surpassing him in knowledge and experience.
Before he knew it, the front door of the house swung open. Harua walked in with a grin on his face. Nicholas, on the other hand, looked like he had just been on a roller coaster.
“Taki! Sorry we’re late. We got caught up shopping. Want to see what I got?” The boy ran over to the couch with two bags in hand, dragging Taki up and towards his room.
As they left the living room, leaving Fuma mid game, Taki heard Nicholas complaining. “I’m never letting him behind the wheel again. I prefer my life over his license.” Followed by Fuma’s affectionate laugh.
🌖
Taki didn’t think he’d be able to see Kei or Nicholas perform so soon. The former man apparently had a competition set for today. Taki had been invited to come along, known as ‘Harua’s plus one.’
They promised him dinner and desert afterwards, so of course he accepted. Plus, why would he say no to Harua? He couldn’t. Taki needs to fulfill his role as a best friend to Harua, and to his growling stomach.
Unfortunately, the air outside made Taki think back on his choice. The temperature fell below 30. It's a lot colder than he thought California could be. Thankfully, Taki still had all his coats from New York.
“I can see my own breath.” Taki shivered, his teeth chattering. They sat in the back of Fuma’s car on the way to see Kei. Beside him Harua, despite saying Taki's being ‘overdramatic’, clinged onto him like a koala.
Yuma took the seat directly next to Harua. Jo got pushed in the very back, though he claimed it had been his own choice. In the passenger seat next to Fuma sat Euijoo. The duo in the front were deciding what station to play on the radio.
They turned past the pop station and Yuma practically jumped from his seat. “Go back! Why the hell would you skip Beyoncé!?” The car then turned into a jumble of protests for them to turn the station back.
With wide eyes, Euijoo fumbled with the button on the console. “Oh my god okay! Calm down!” He half laughed, half yelled.
The car shook as, mainly Yuma, began to belt ‘Crazy In Love’ by Beyoncé. Fuma, even though he was quiet for most of it, joined in by the end. The car shook with their aggressiveness.
It was a thirty minute karaoke ride before they arrived at the dance hall. The building looked huge, decorated beautifully with large white lights. It must’ve been more than just dance centered, since multiple students with instruments made their way into a separate building, nerves written on their faces.
In the center of it all sat a giant christmas tree. Its pretty decorations were blue and white ornaments, silver garland, and a bright white star at the top. The whole area felt straight out of a movie.
“Kei is performing here?” Taki blurted out, shock in his voice. Harua nodded excitedly.
“In Japan, Kei was the best of the best. When we moved here he had so many recommendation letters that he got in all the good studios immediately. I can’t wait for you to see him perform.” Harua jumped by the time he stopped speaking, Taki joined him with way too much energy.
The group decided to head towards their designated building. It isn't the biggest one, but it's still huge. There were people hurrying inside along with them. Once they stepped inside, Euijoo immediately spotted Nicholas waiting by a cutely decorated stairway. He motioned the groups towards him.
“Hey.” He greeted, nudging Euijoo who stood right beside him. Taki couldn’t help glancing at Harua with tame suspicion. The blond rolled his eyes playfully.
“Kei got you super good seats. You should be able to see everything perfectly. I can take you to them, but then I gotta head back. They need me for prep.” Nicholas explained as he led them up the stairs.
And he was right. The seats were perfect. You could see every corner of the stage. Red curtains hung on the side, and a pale white snowy scene decorated the background. Taki stared in awe at the venue.
Taki took a seat towards the edge of the row. Beside him Harua opened their pamphlet so both of them could see. He pointed to Kei’s section, next to his name were four other people dancing in his group.
“They’re doing contemporary dance. I’ve seen snippets of the choreography, but Kei likes to keep everything a secret till day of,” Harua failed to hide any anticipation he had while speaking.
Taki agreed with Kei. Going into the performance blind would elevate the experience. “How long has he been dancing?”
Harua thought for a moment, “Probably almost nine years? He’s been doing it since he was younger than us, for sure.”
To Taki, that's an insane amount of time to be so passionate about a hobby. Taki listened as Harua continued to tell him about Kei’s experience. He hadn’t been dancing much recently, but this performance is too good to pass up, an exception. “Since this is such a huge venue, Kei took up the offer. He hasn’t publicly danced in a while. I think he’s really missed it.”
‘Think’ is an understatement. The face Kei greeted them with before the performance was close to pure euphoria. He'd been sweating from practice, but still made his way to give them each a hug. Even Taki.
“I’m going on fifth. But the others before us are amazing, so don’t fall asleep,” Kei winked at them, before rushing off backstage.
The show started with large spotlights hitting the stage. An orchestra played in the pit. A group of ballet dancers pranced onto the stage, and Taki watched enamored.
It's like nothing he’s ever seen. When his sister was younger, he watched her ballet recitals back in Japan. They were all sweet and fun, but he didn’t feel the same way then as he did now.
The dancers skidded across the stage gracefully. Each move was beautiful, perfectly coordinated to not be a show, but a performance. Taki clapped loudly after their set ended, tempted to stand up and emphasize his awe.
The group after them did just as amazing. And after that, and after that, until Kei’s group announced through the speakers. The five of them walked on to the stage like they owned it.
Even though they all danced amazingly, Taki’s eyes focused on Kei. All the years of dancing showed in his moves. Each one was precise, clear, and emotional. The music fit the choreography perfectly, not a single thing looked out of place.
Kei danced like he was in a trance. His eyes were closed as he moved across the stage. When they blinked open, his gaze wasn’t fixated on the people in front of him, instead he looked up towards the ceiling.
Taki followed his line of sight. At the roof lay a small window cutout. The moon shined through it, hitting the crowd perfectly to illuminate them.
With a final step, Kei smiled. The music ended on a soft note. For a second, the entire venue halted. Then, the room bursted into loud claps and cheers.
Kei and the others took a bow before escaping off the stage. Kei practically bolted, almost slipping. From behind the curtain, just barely, Taki could see Kei jumping to hug Nicholas.
Once the clapping finally slowed down, the host announced a fifteen minute intermission for everyone to resituate themselves. The audience disappeared into the hall, stretching their legs and grabbing quick snacks.
Taki felt frozen. He stayed sitting down, grasping on the arm rests of his chair. The stage had nobody on it, and the pit's chairs were mostly empty. Still, Taki watched the emptiness – trying to study his thoughts of the performances.
“Earth to Taki? Helllooo…,” Yuma called out. Taki hadn’t noticed the rest of the group disappearing. All the seats next to him were empty. “Are you going to join them for the restroom? We still have a while after the intermission, so don’t hold it.” Yuma suggested, his tone playful.
“Yeah. Sorry I just..,” Taki glanced between Yuma and the stage. The older boy nodded; face softening with quiet understanding.
“It was incredible, right? Kei knows how to light up a stage.” Yuma plopped down next to Taki. “I’ve seen him perform so many times. When he dances, I feel stunned. Like..” Yuma pauses, trying to find the words.
“Like it just takes your breath away?” Taki finished his sentence, eyes sparkling. They glanced towards one another for a second before Yuma laughed. “Exactly. My chest gets all tight and I feel short of breath. The effect is crazy.”
Taki nodded his head. Yuma described the feeling perfectly. A squeezing in his chest, something akin to yearning.
The rest of the performances were just as amazing. Taki made sure to clap loudly for each one. As the final cast of performers stood on the stage, taking their final bow, the audience stood up and whistled. A few people threw flowers onto the stage, beautiful tulips and roses lined the wooden platform.
Their group met up outside with Kei and Nicholas after the show. They stood shivering by the cars. Kei's outfit, previously a lavender purple, had been replaced with some more comfortable sweats.
Kei ran directly into Fuma’s arms once they were all together. He jumped onto his friend like a baby koala hanging on to its mother, and of course Fuma held him up.
Nicholas gravitated towards Jo and Euijoo. Laughing with them about something Taki couldn’t hear.
Yuma and Harua ended up approaching Kei to congratulate him. Taki followed behind, awkwardly standing as the others chatted.
He loved the sight in front of him. A whole family, together, celebrating something big. He let them have their moment – because that’s what he’s supposed to do. But he still found himself staring longingly at their unfiltered affection. Unconsciously at first, until he watched Kei kiss Harua’s forehead.
What would it be like to have older brothers?
Taki knew they could be messy. Harua had told him countless stories of their family feuds, their silly little arguments, and all the situations they’ve ended up in. It isn't all picture perfect – but that’s what made it good.
He loved his family more than anything. They're good to him, they take care of him, and they love him. But he's never been close to them like his idea of a family is. Even his sister, who's only two years younger than him, has never had a tight knit relationship with Taki. A selfish part of Taki wants to experience family in the way Harua does.
Zoning out for too long, Taki's thoughts got interrupted as he felt Kei’s arms wrap around him. They're hugging, a tight one at that. The older man made it quick before pulling away and resting both hands on Taki’s shoulders.
“How did I do? Any complaints?” Kei wondered, smiling at the younger boy.
Taki widened his eyes, blinking rapidly while trying to process what was happening. “Well..” He started. “You didn’t start flying. It was a little disappointing.” Kei laughed loudly at Taki’s joke. His hands came to pinch the younger's cheeks — squeezing them while Taki's words mushed together.
“You did amazing, seriously. I’ve never seen someone have such.. such control of the stage.” That response made Kei smile warmerly. He pulled Taki into another quick hug.
“That’s exactly what I love to hear.”
Everyone jumped into different cars once they finished catching up. The air's somehow colder than before. All Taki wanted is a warm meal shared with a chocolatey desert – something to beat the low temperature.
The group in Fuma's car couldn't stress enough how much they loved the burger place they drove to. It's a cute little place. A large dinner-like neon sign at the front. Thankfully there's not a crowd of people inside. The servers looked slightly stressed as eight grown men walked into their restaurant. But, nonetheless, they started giving them the best quality service.
The group got into a groove of light conversation. Kei and Nicholas gave them more ‘behind the scenes’ of the former's performance, while Yuma teased Jo for almost crying during it all. Poor Jo looked red by the time Fuma told Yuma to let up.
Eventually, Taki butted in himself. Half a burger in his mouth made him cover his lips with his hand; the others laughed at his stuffed face. “I fink–” Taki slurred, before swallowing his food. “I think it was amazing. When you see something like that it makes you want to experience it yourself, y'know? Like I want to try your choreography,” Taki thought it would be treated like a joke, but instead he got a chorus of agreement.
“You should learn. You have a good build, perfect for a dancer,” Nicholas, someone who's still a stranger to Taki, commented. From beside him Kei nodded.
“If you ever take that seriously, come to me or Nico. We’d love to help you get started.” Taki didn’t know what to say. Were they seriously just offering him lessons? He still nodded, although a little confused, and the conversation drifted off from there.
By the time Taki arrived home, the time on his watch read 12:43. He joined the others for dessert at Harua’s house. Ice cream sundays in the middle of december, a perfect combination.
His house had its usual silence when he entered. He's a little past his curfew, but not by too much. Hopefully he wouldn’t get scolded by his mother in the morning.
As he settled into bed, finished getting dressed down, Taki stared up at the ceiling. He mentally prepared himself for sleep. Maybe, by some amazing miracle, he wouldn't be plagued with any dreams tonight. His mind ran too happily for him to have another nightmare.
The offer Kei and Nicholas gave him stayed in Taki's head. Taki, a dancer, alongside one of the best performers he'd ever seen. It sounded like a kid's dream. But, even so, Taki wondered if he could make it happen. Maybe then, he would have something to call his own.
🌗
By the time winter break had ended, and school started back up, Taki had been over to Harua’s house more than his own. Once a week turned to twice, then to every other day. It isn’t all day – Taki still had a job he couldn’t just walk away from – but it's been more often than not.
He's been waiting for someone to say something. The ‘don’t you have your own house?’ talk. Yet, no one did. Not even his parents were concerned about his whereabouts, all that mattered is him being home at curfew. Unless he specifically told them he's sleeping over.
It got to a point where they told Taki about the spare key under the doormat. Fuma and Kei encouraged him to use it and come over whenever.
Taki didn’t want it to get to his head. He didn’t live in their home, and he isn’t close with most of them like he is to Harus. Still, they never said anything in protest to his surprise visits.
Today, again, Taki's back at Harua’s. He hasn’t been over for at least a week since school started. They needed just a little space to get back into their schoolwork.
Taki groaned when his teacher gave him a stack of homework to bring home. It's math, one of his better subjects, but that didn’t make it anymore fun.
So, of course, he decided to hold an impromptu studying sessions in Harua’s room.
Late afternoon arrived when Taki pulled into their driveway. He picked the key from underneath the mat, unlocking the door and placing it neatly back.
Taki made sure to leave his coat on the rack next to his shoes. He went straight to Harua’s room, only to find it empty. Maybe the older boy's out today; not an uncommon thing.
In the meantime, while Taki shot Harua a text from his phone and waited, he decided to steal a drink from downstairs.
The fridge looked stocked full of new food. The sight made his mouth water, even though he knew his own little snacks were sitting in his bag.
Taki thought he started hallucinating as he heard music coming from the garage. His head peaked over the fridge door. It definitely is real, he isn’t crazy.
The soda in his hand came along with him as Taki decided to investigate. Approaching the garage door connected to the house made the music louder. An upbeat pop song that he recognized played through a speaker, filling the walls with a boom.
The door's closed, but not locked. Taki slowly turned the door knob to take a look inside.
Taki furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance; he couldn’t see anything at all. There's a small wall that hides the rest of the garage. He opened the door wider so he could inch inside, peaking around the corner.
On the floor laid a bright blue mat. It filled half the garage, littered with workout and sports equipment. The center's empty, save for Kei standing directly in the middle.
The sight made Taki remember that night: Kei’s performance. It hasn't been too long, maybe a week at most. The memory still sat fresh in Taki’s mind. Kei stood in the garage with beads of sweat dripping down his face, the music coming to a stop.
His chest heaved up and down, but he kept the cool composure of a finale.
Kei's incredible, Taki couldn't help thinking. The swelling feeling he had during that night returned at full force. His smile grew huge, watching as Kei went to take a sip of his water.
The disc in the boom box paused after Kei pressed a random button. “A kid in my house watching me with a creepy grin on his face. This is a fun story for the police.” The older man’s sudden attention at Taki made him freeze up.
He’s been caught. Taki felt incredibly guilty, so he couldn’t help believing Kei’s convincing words. “I’m sorry!” He spat out, jumping onto the concrete of the cool garage floor.
Kei laughed, resting both hands on his hips. “I’m just kidding! I don't mind. Though, you don't have to hide. Come sit.” He gestured towards a bench pushed up against the wall.
Taki took up the offer immediately. He plopped down with a groan, hitting the bench too fast.
Kei smiled as he started the music again. This must’ve been a different disc, since the song playing is more classical than the pop one before.
This is different from being at the venue. Then, Kei was so far away. He seemed like an untouchable concept. Here, he's very much real. And dancing directly in front of Taki.
His arms flowed with passion – the smile never leaving his face. Before Taki could process what's happening, Kei grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the mat.
“Why don't you try? I’m freestyling, so there’s no choreography to keep up with. Just feel the music.”
It should’ve been cringy, like something out of a comedy move, but it isn’t. Taki felt his heart pick up. He wanted to take the opportunity in front of him seriously, but–
“I don’t know anything.. It’ll be like watching a headless chicken run around.” Taki frowned, and he expected Kei to laugh, but his head shook instead.
Kei moved to put Taki into the same starting position as himself, fixing even the angle of his head to be exactly right. “If you think a headless chicken running around is bad, then you should guess how I started out dancing. Have you ever seen a fish out of water? Multiply that by ten.”
The air felt a little less threatening as Kei cracked his jokes. Taki understood what he meant. Everyone started somewhere, including him. And yet the idea of him standing on the same mat as a professional dancer didn’t feel any less intimidating.
“Go along with the rhythm. Express with every part of your body. It’ll come to you.” Kei moved off the mat and pressed play on the boom box. The classical song restarted with its calm flow.
Taki took in a deep shaky breath. He felt embarrassed, but more than that, he had a desire to move.
It started off awkwardly. Taki moved in weird directions; contradicting steps that made absolutely no sense. Kei didn’t blink the entirety of the song. His eyes stayed trained on Taki. No judgment, no interruptions, just focus.
The song ended abruptly. Taki stumbled a little, catching himself before falling completely. He glanced quickly over to Kei. The man crossed his arms, clearly deep in thought.
“Did I.. do okay?” Taki questioned. His nerves shot up as Kei met his eyes. “You’re definitely a beginner.” Taki sighed sadly. “But don’t let that discourage you. Being a beginner is better than not doing it at all.”
Kei moved beside Taki on the mat and relaxed into his own starting position. “Why don't you try to copy me. No music, just follow the moves. I won't do anything crazy.” Taki nodded at Kei, trying to replicate his simple motions. None of it’s hard, Taki found. All it takes is a little determination and the proper flow.
The garage door slammed open with a dramatic amount of force. In walked Harua, who looked surprised to see the two of them together.
“I saw your car, how long have you been here?” Harua asked, eyes darting between the duo. He raised an eyebrow, questioning how out of breath they looked. Taki shrugged. He hadn’t bothered checking the time.
“About forty minutes. But I know he’s been here longer than that,” Kei said in between large gulps of water.
Harua gasped. He looked like a bunny as his face scrunched together to show ‘annoyance’. “Why did no one tell me, my phone is in my room! I was outside with Fuma. Did you come to study?”
Taki felt an arm wrap around his shoulder. He turned to see Kei grinning. “This is Taki’s very first dance lesson. It’s important. Studying is secondary.”
That definitely isn’t what Taki expected to hear from an adult. If anything, studying is the top priority at Taki’s age.
“Oh? You decided to start?” Harua directed his attention at Taki.
The boy in question shook his head, a little confused himself, “No! I mean, I guess? Kei was just showing me some moves–,” Kei started laughing at him, not unkindly. He patted Taki’s shoulder with a strong smack.
“And he’s already a pro. I might have to steal him from you in the future, Harua. Don't get too jealous.”
Harua faked a laugh, rolling his eyes at Kei. “Want to study with me and Jo, or are you going to stay here?” Harua smiled back at Taki.
And of course, he chose to go with Harua. He needed his best friend to survive the rest of this week. Taki promised Kei another day. The older man commented something about holding him up to his own word.
“You’ll be a great dancer, Taki. I can already see it in your eyes,” Kei said before the duo walked out of the garage. Taki turned back to watch Kei starting back up the music – excitement swelling in his chest.
🌘
The place Taki least expected to see Nicholas is the mom and pop shop he works at.
It’s a cute little place. The elderly couple that owns it only have a few workers, primarily teens of their family friends. It’s the perfect fit for Taki. Only ten minutes from his house, and his mother’s already friends with the owner.
Today is Taki’s morning shift. It’s a cool Saturday, the weather called for large sweaters and warm coffee.
Most of the morning has been comfortable and quiet. Only a few customers phased in and out of the store, looking around at the antiques with tame amounts of interest.
Taki watched as Nicholas walked in. He didn’t say anything at first, not wanting to make the man uncomfortable. He didn’t look like the type to shop at places like this, but that’s Taki making assumptions. With all he knew, Nicholas could be a collector of antiques.
After shopping for a while, Nicholas walked to the counter with a watch in hand. The exact one hasn’t been sold since Taki started working. An older model, probably from the 50’s. Taki couldn’t hide his grin as it finally got its chance to be bought.
“Is that all?” Taki asked politely as Nicholas placed the watch next to the register.
“Yeah, thank you–,” stopping mid sentence, Nicholas finally looked up to see who he’s talking to. “Taki? You work here?” He isn’t shocked, instead nicely surprised.
The younger boy nodded as he rang up the watch. “I do. It’s way better than any fast food place. When I lived in New York, I worked at a horribly set up restaurant. I feel sick every time I think of it.” Taki prided himself at Nicholas’s light chuckle.
At first, Taki had been hesitant to approach Nicholas. He isn’t rude, far from it, but his face looked intimidating. Taki felt like if he said the wrong thing, maybe he’d get on the guy’s bad side. Considering he’s Harua’s family, that’s exactly where he didn’t want to be.
“So..” Taki started. He neatly wrapped the watch in new paper, before placing it in a cute brown bag. “Did you need a new watch?” The question sounded dumb, but Nicholas didn’t look weirded out. Oddly, he looked more nervous.
“No. It’s, uhm, a gift.” The older man’s gaze turned away from Taki. “For Euijoo.” Nicholas looked shy as he spat it out. Taki couldn’t help feeling nosy, wondering what’s making the guy jittery.
“Is his birthday coming up soon?” Taki handed the bag across the counter.
Nicholas shook his head. “No. His birthday is in September. We just have some important dates coming up. But thank you, I’ll add the sentiments that it’s from you as well.” He’s clearly hurrying to finish the conversation. But, Taki can be stubborn sometimes. He walked to a little stand near the counter and grabbed a florally decorated card.
“Here. This card has crape myrtles on it. Maybe you could add it in. On the house.” Taki offered the paper forward, and Nicholas took it with a nod.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to do that.” He stared down at the card, flipping it in and out.
Taki shrugged. “I know, but like you said, from me as well.” His smile grew along with Nicholas’s.
After Nicholas walked out the door, the store bell jingling prettily, Taki’s mind wandered to Euijoo. He curiously thought about what their family celebrated. Maybe a formation of some sorts? Families like theirs aren’t the norm – so there had to be things that Taki definitely didn’t know. Celebrations, traditions, and everything in between.
His thoughts get cut short by Mrs. Murphey calling him into the back to help with unboxing.
🌑
Sleepovers at Harua’s are the highlight of Taki's week. It meant binge watching movies and eating unhealthy food until they threw up.
Even though Harua would fight it, eventually all of the others would end up in the living room with them. It’s like they slowly gravitate to wherever food is.
And of course, Taki loves it. He welcomes them all to cuddle next to him, basking in the fleeting touches: a ruffle of hair, holding his hand, and massaging his back.
Then, after the movies are over and their stomachs hurt, the duo would retreat back to Harua's room.
They'd stay up until midnight talking about whatever’s on their minds. Harua, more specifically, liked to chat about pop artists. Taki always nodded along, half focused on the conversation and half focused on the way Harua's eyes lit up.
Tonight’s a little different, though. There’s been something weighing on Taki's chest. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to shake it off. Beside him, on the floor, Harua’s dead asleep. He snored lightly, the sound coming out as soft sighs.
It takes him a minute to register, but the reason for Taki’s insomnia is abundantly clear. He’s afraid to sleep.
It hasn't gotten to this point before, where he feels physically incapable as nerves run through his system. The nightmares haven’t been letting up. For a while, they calmed down. Then they’d come back at full force. Scaring him to the point where his ‘morning’ is one am. Dark eyebags started to form under his eyelashes. When he looks in the mirror, he always sees someone so.. different.
No one has said anything yet, but he’s noticed them stare a little longer than usual. Taki didn't want to tell anyone about it. At first, he thought it might be a good idea. Getting it off his chest, having someone to lean on.
But as the option settled further, and as the nightmares got worse, he changed his mind. He’d probably be called crazy, or worse, no one would believe him.
Taki had no intentions of the nightmares coming to fruition at his sleepover with Harua. But, sleep had a way of messing with Taki. His eyes blink closed with exhaustion – resting like every other awful night.
The dream started off like normal. Taki awoke in the same grim forest. It’s always dark, then lit up by the eyes of giant raven colored wolves. Their gaze pierced through his skin.
They whispered his name like a chant. The sound made Taki shiver. As they approached, he tried backing away. But, no corner he turned to would be empty. Every inch of the open area in the forest had something waiting.
The second the wolves charged at him, Taki jolted awake. He heard himself screaming. One of his hands came to grasp at his shirt, the other covered his mouth. He felt hot tears running down his cheeks, oddly, as he isn’t the type to cry.
Taki notices Harua’s absence as he looks around the room. The door’s slightly cracked open, the hall light peaking through.
The feeling of being alone made Taki’s heart hurt. He wanted something to hold on to, anything. He wanted to use Harua as a shield from whatever the hell’s going on with him.
Taki’s making himself more upset at the countless thoughts running through his head. He tucks his face into his knees as an attempt at comfort. It’s all so stupid. Him, the dreams, and the fact he cant’t get over them.
Harua’s door swung open, taking Taki by surprise. It tapped against the wall too loudly, making the men walking in mumble quiet apologies.
Kei, walking in with an incredible bed head, had Harua following behind him. The blond’s expression carried worry. Then came along Euijoo, peaking past the other two, furrowing his eyebrows.
Immediately, the eldest crouched by Taki’s side. He rubbed along the younger boy's back, giving him a second to catch his breath. “Are you okay?” He whispered once Taki stopped crying.
Taki nodded his head, eyes still puffy and red. “Yeah, don’t worry. I’m fine. Just a bad dream. Happens to everyone.” Taki croaked out a laugh at the end, but it came out crackily and half-hearted. He wanted someone to laugh along. When no one did, it made him feel smaller.
“Would one of you go get him some water please?” Kei asked with a small smile. Euijoo volunteered himself before running down the hall. “Do you want to talk about it?” Kei turned his attention towards Taki.
It isn’t Kei’s responsibility to look out for him like this. He’s Taki’s friend, sure, but they aren’t close like Taki and Harua are. Hell, Taki wouldn’t even share this with his best friend.
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. Let us help you, okay?” Kei used his charismatic words to pull Taki in. The worst part of it all is how sincere it feels. Like Kei actually, one hundred percent, meant what he’s saying.
Harua slowly crept over to Taki’s side. He plopped down and rested a hand on the younger boy's shoulder, rubbing it to offer some comfort. Taki sighed. “It’s just this dumb recurring dream I’ve been having for a while. If I say it out loud, you’ll think I’m crazy.” He mumbled out.
From his side, Kei laughed. “Try me,” he tested.
“Every night I’m in this same forest.” Taki began. He tried to tame his expression, not wanting to show them just how shaken up he is. “It’s not really anything special. Just normal trees, green grass, all that. It’s night time outside, super creepy.”
During Taki’s explanation, Euijoo ran in with a cup of water. He quietly apologized for interrupting the younger and handed him the class. Taki smiled and thanked him before taking a sip. “There’s like these.., they’re a lot bigger. but some sort of wolf.”
The soothing hand on Taki’s shoulder stopped for a moment. Tension filled the room, eyes speaking to each other through their gaze. Taki ignored it, continuing with his story.
“They just stare at me for most of it. But, towards the end, they always jump out at me. One usually grabs my.. neck. And the others get my ankles. It sounds stupid when I say it outloud but sometimes it feels like..” He took a shaky breath in. “Like I can actually feel it happening.”
There’s something in the way the silence filled the room that makes Taki anxious. He’s really done it now. They think he’s crazy, and are already making plans to tell his parents and send him away.
Unfortunately, and Taki knew this well, he’s an oversharer. He loved to talk about anything. Even things that should’ve been kept to himself. Just like the fact he’s been having dreams about giant dogs attacking him.
“That’s not ridiculous, or crazy.” Kei’s the first to fill the silence. His words countering Taki’s thoughts, almost creepily. Was the guy inside Taki’s head? “We’ve all had our fair share of nightmares. At least I have. I'm glad you told us. It's a hard burden to carry.”
Honestly, Kei’s right. Telling them is already helping him feel better. He wondered what would've happened if he had done this in the first place. It surely would've been better than going through this for months alone.
The three men offered to stay around for a while until Taki felt ready to sleep. They did their best to distract him. Funny stories, random topics that screamed ‘it’s two in the morning’ and a bunch of nonsense that did wonders in diverting Taki’s attention.
After they’d been laughing way too long, and loud, Kei decided to turn in for the night. He made sure to emphasize that Taki could come to him anytime. Harua excused him to the restroom. He promised to come back and cuddle Taki to sleep, as a joke. Obviously.
That left Euijoo and Taki in the room alone. It’s then that Taki realizes he’s never had a one on one with Euijoo. They had hung out before, in the presence of everyone else, but never alone.
He isn’t intimidating, far from it, he’s just.. quiet. Not like how Jo is. Jo’s the type of quiet that makes you feel safe. Euijoo’s the type of quiet that always has something to say, but doesn't know how to get it out.
“I used to have nightmares. Like that,” Euijoo started, fidgeting with his thumbs. “I wasn’t in a forest or anything. I was at my family home. My mom and I were cutting things up for dinner. Then.. my dad ran in. Some sort of creature chased after him. It always ended there, right before the creature got my parents.”
Taki hadn’t expected Euijoo to share so much, but part of him felt selfishly reassured. “Did they go away?” He asked, eyes wide and hopeful as he stared back at Euijoo.
The older man nodded. “After a while. Weirdly enough, it brought me closer to the people around me. It’s funny how the things you hate the most can turn into something good.” Euijoo laughed it off, like he hadn’t just dropped the wisest piece of comfort.
Taki couldn't stop his smile. “Yeah, I hope it turns out that way. Thank you for helping me when you didn’t have to.”
Euijoo nodded. He stood up from Harua’s bed, walking over to the door. “Don’t mention it. That’s what we’re here for. You’re important to Harua, therefore you’re important to all of us.”
That’s the funny thing, no one realizes just how important they are to Taki. He’ll have to prove it, one way or another.
🌒
Taki has a big test coming up. It’s one of the annoying ones that he has to cram at the last minute so that he doesn’t fail.
And, of course, he’s going over to Harua’s for a sporadic study session. It isn’t really to see Harua, the guy has his own pile of school work to cry over, instead it’s for Jo.
Jo is a year older than the two of them. He’s a fresh graduate, taking a few classes at one of the community colleges. ‘Nothing serious’ in his own words.
It turned out that Jo’s an amazing tutor. He’d gone through all the same classes, teachers, and subjects as Taki. That made him the perfect person for the younger boy to get a little help from. And Jo loved it. At least, Taki hopes he does. Every time he asks the other to study, Jo nodded with enthusiasm – a huge grin resting on his face
The three of them, Taki, Jo, and Harua, sat in the eldest’s room. Half-written pieces of paper and binders of notes scattered across the floor. Taki felt physically drained from the amount of studying they’ve been doing.
Is all of this really serious? Taki had no intention of becoming a professional scientist. Especially in physics, no offense to all the physicians out there.
He groaned for what’s probably the hundredth time. Harua peered at him from the corner of his eye, frowning deeply. “Why don't we take thirty. I need to get some sticky notes anyways. I forgot mine at school.” Harua suggested, already closing his books by the time everyone agreed.
Taki felt relieved to have a break. He batted his eyelashes all pretty as Harua stood up, talking about going to the kitchen. The older boy rolled his eyes but reached out to grab Taki’s cup so he could refill it.
Jo rested against his bed with a sketch book in hand. It had been laying on his end table when Taki walked in, probably an unfinished project. “What are you working on?” Taki scooted closer to Jo. The older boy didn’t seem phased.
He turned the paper a little so Taki could see. “One of my classes is going over shading. They want us to sketch a scene with sunlight.” The picture Jo held out looked incredibly already.
Jo isn’t shy about his art. As a person, definitely, but he isn’t the type to hide away his prided work. It made Taki happy to see him proud. And he has every right to be satisfied – Taki hadn’t met an artist as talented as Jo before.
“What inspired yours, then?” Another question, another moment of silence for Jo to contemplate an answer.
“I really wanted to work with Greek architecture. It’s supposed to represent a modern Greek home next to the ocean.” Taki nodded along as Jo spoke. The younger boy's eyes traced each line. He did a good job of it, drawing a clear design that’s easy to make out.
“You’d love Mama Mia.” Taki teased, grin dropping when Jo looked at him in confusion. “You know? Like the musical? It’s set in Greece.” Taki continued ranting on. “They used Abba’s song throughout the whole thing, like twenty of them.”
Jo’s eyes lit up instantly, if he didn’t look happy already. “Abba? Their music is really good.”
Somehow, that felt exactly like Jo. Their music perfectly encaptured him. His vibe, his aesthetic, his person. “We should go see it together!” Taki nudged against Jo’s shoulder, smiling as the older boy nodded.
“Dont make any plans without me.” Harua stomped back in with three drinks in hand. He tossed one of the soda cans to Taki, who protested loudly as it almost slipped out of his hand.
The three of them downed their drinks a lot quicker than they should have. Taki burped loudly, laughing as Jo widened his eye and Harua smacked him.
“Shit! I forgot the sticky notes.” Harua groaned into one of Jo’s pillows.
Taki had been standing up before Harua complained, offering himself as the new errand boy. “I can get them for you. Where are they?” He asked.
Harua pointed out the door. “In Kei’s room. Check on top of his desk. He always hoards all our important ‘work’ stuff there.”
The thought of going into one of their rooms without permission made Taki a little nervous. “Would that be okay..? I don't wanna intrude..” Harua shook his head in disagreement, promising Taki that it’s fine.
So off he went to Kei’s room. Passing by all the other rooms felt slightly intimidating. What if someone came out and told him to leave? He definitely should’ve let Harua handle it. But he’s too far in now.
Once he opened the door to Kei’s room, he felt pleasantly surprised. The older man had nice decorations. His bed is made neatly, and the only thing on his nightstand is a pale blue alarm clock.
Everything looked nice, all except for his desk. The table’s a mess of papers, books, and half falling off posters hanging above. How is anyone supposed to find sticky notes in all of this?
Taki swore as his quick trip turned into a bothersome conquest for those damn notes. He pushed around the mess to look underneath it, his goal hid directly under two dictionaries. Who needed two dictionaries.?
The boy placed the sticky notes in his pocket and got ready to leave, heading towards the door, before something stopped him. From the corner of his eye, Taki noticed a letter he pulled out when searching for the sticky notes.
He knew better than to be nosy. This isn’t his room, nor his house. Whatever is on Kei’s desk is strictly his. And in any other instance, Taki would make sure to follow through with those rules.
But this was different. The letter’s written in Japanese, messy writing taking up the page. That isn't what made Taki look, though. Instead the bold characters of his name written on paper caught his attention. Kei’s been writing about him, unless he knew some other Taki, but none of them had mentioned one before.
Curiosity really did kill the cat. Taki looked out into the hall from the cracked door, making sure no one approached Kei’s room, before he began to read the letter. His Japanese reading abilities are a little rusty. It took him way too long to process some words, but eventually, everything clicked into place.
Dear Mitsuki,
Things have been going well, as always. Harua is going to be graduating soon, and the other boys are focusing on their jobs and studies. I’m glad they have a break for a while. I can’t wait to come back to Japan.
Taki skipped over the personal parts of the letter, too much information that he didn’t need to know, finally landed on the lines that mentioned him.
We’ve finally met Taki. He’s a good boy. Goofy, humorous, just like the sun. As you predicted. He’s becoming really close with Harua, but he’s definitely taking longer than all of us to acclimate. Should I be worried? I know for a fact that he’s the one. But he still hasn’t turned. We need to return to the estate soon enough, preferably with him in tow, please–
The rest of the letter had yet to be finished. The sentence ended abruptly, giving Taki no hint of what Kei wanted to say.
Nerves settling in his chest made Taki’s breath short. He didn’t know what to do, standing frozen in place, hands shaking slightly as a dim fear crawled up his skin.
What did ‘as you predicted’ mean? Whatever Kei’s trying to explain through his letter is morse code to Taki. He reread it partly, trying to grasp all the ominous language. ‘He’s the one’ ‘Still hasn’t turned’ ‘With him in tow.’
Taki didn’t have time to think. He heard the front door swing open, followed by the sound of Kei and everyone’s loud voices. Taki needed to get out of here now, collect his thoughts somewhere other than Harua’s house.
He tried his best to hurriedly place the letter where he found it and rush out of the room. The sticky notes found a home loosely in his back pocket/ He practically jumped down the stairs to leave the house, coming face to face with the entire family.
Harua and Jo already stood in the living room. Taki mouthed a, “got the notes” and the two of them nodded, too distracted with greeting their family.
Taki tried hard to act normal. He couldn’t act suspicious, then they’d know he’s gone snooping around. They’d found out what he saw. Taki isn’t prepared to confront whatever Kei meant in his note.
He’s always known this family isn't like everyone else. But now that he had read the letter, one that he definitely wasn’t supposed to see, that ‘weird’ became something different. It became creepy.
The air felt tighter. The conversations he half listened to were like poison creeping up his neck. Taki couldn’t stay here. He knew what the anxiety on his chest meant – he needs to leave and save the questions for another day.
Running back down the hall, a little too fast, Taki excused himself. He quickly packed away all his things in Harua’s room. The older boy had followed him, apparently, staring at Taki from the door frame. “Heading out?” Harua questioned. He’s smirking, but it didn’t make Taki laugh like usual. It made him paranoid.
“Uh, yeah. I’m not feeling very well. I don't want to get you all sick.” He let out an awkward laugh, but it didn’t land. Harua’s eyebrows furrowed. His composure wavered slightly, grabbing Taki’s shoulder as he tried to leave the room.
Taki unconsciously flinched. That made things ten times worse. “Everything okay?” Harua asked with genuine concern in his voice.
The younger boy nodded. He bolted past his friend, heading straight to the front door. He ignored the voices trying to speak. Whether it’s to him or someone else, he couldn't tell.
Taki ran down the steps. He started panicking, air struggling to reach his lungs.
Kei, exactly the person he wanted to avoid the most, must’ve caught Taki’s frantic escape. Within a second the older man stood by Taki’s side. “Woah woah, calm down. You definitely can't drive in this state. What’s going on?” Kei placed both his hands on Taki’s shoulders, stopping him from moving.
Harua and the others peeked out of the front door, watching the scene unfold. Taki’s stuck, stuck with people who he can’t face without freaking out. He wanted to tell them that he’s fine, but the words froze in his throat.
“I need to go.” He breathed out, pushing against Kei. He accidentally bumped into the older man. The sticky notes that had been sitting in his pants pocket fell out, landing on the dirt.
Kei’s eyes traveled down to the paper, widening in a sickening way. Taki’s breath hitched as their gaze met. “You went into my room.” He didn’t sound angry, or at least he tried not to, but Taki could hear the threat in his voice.
“I-I didn’t mean..” Taki stuttered out, backing away from Kei.
Then, it happened.
The nightmares, the visions of the wolves during his sleep, they showed up like haunting ghosts. From behind Kei walked a gigantic beast. Its yellow eyes looked hungry, ready to feed on the nearest meal. Kei didn’t even blink – he didn't notice it, the monster’s. Because the wolves aren’t really there. The image of the creatures are playing in Taki’s head, tormenting him with the use of his friends.
But why? Why now, when he’s already in a state of panic.
He needs to leave. The thought repeats in his head as he trips over his own feet. Taki fell onto the ground, dropping the half closed bag of school things next to him.
Then he felt it. Ripping, tearing, a feeling that could only be compared to torture. It darted through every muscle in his body, from his head to his feet. He couldn't tell who, but someone screamed – a high pitch shriek of pain. Maybe it’s him, maybe it’s one of his friends.
The wolves in Taki’s vision vanished – black aura disappearing as it took on a new form, inside of Taki.
The last thing Taki sees as he falls on his back is the sight of the full moon rising. It shines beautifully, lining the sky with a pale coat of white. The sight of it makes tears fall from his eyes. He wonders why, why he's crying at something he's never payed mind to before.