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It starts at the Pitt’s parking lot.
Emma stands there frozen as the night chill bites into her skin, looking out into the dark emptiness of the lot. Two days ago, one of the young nurses, Betty, had been punched out here by a vengeful patient. Like Dana had been attacked before Emma started working there. Like Emma had…
Fear constricts her throat like that man’s iron grip, and suddenly Emma can’t breathe again. She feels hot, despite the cool air. She feels humiliatingly stupid. Her car isn’t even that far away, and she doesn’t even have the courage to walk to it. She thinks of the bruises on Betty’s face. She thinks about how her throat ached for days after the Fourth of July.
She doesn’t know how long she’s been standing there before a gruff “hey” startles her out of her thoughts. She looks back with her big eyes, and meets the Shark’s sharp gaze. He’s watching her like he watches everyone, like she’s prey, and her stomach twists itself into knots.
“H-hi, um,” she says, feeling pathetic. He waits for her. She looks down and wrangles her hands, feeling too intimidated in the moment. He’s all sharp edges and muscles and he’s huge. She feels oddly jealous over it. She bets he’s never had to fear walking home alone at night, or when crossing the parking lot to get to his car. It’s stupid.
“I’ll walk you to your car,” he breaks the awkward silence and she snaps her head to look at him again. His expression is harsh and closed off, even with the offer. His grip on his backpack handle is iron-clad. She watches as the muscles in his hand flex.
“Oh, it’s fine,” she starts, because she’s been taught all her life to not ask people for things. To not be an inconvenience.
“Don’t be stupid,” he replies sternly. Her shoulders relax. It was oddly comforting, that even when he was being kind, he was still a little mean. Or maybe that was weird of Emma to think so. Maybe this job has completely warped her perception of kindness. “Either stand out here like a baby deer caught in the headlights, or I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Thank you,” she says meekly, because the Shark is still scary even when he’s being helpful. He nods. They start making their way across the parking lot in silence. When they get to her car, she turns to him. “I’m Emma, by the way.” He just stares at her. He waits until she gets in, and it was only when she’s driving away that she sees him move towards his own car in her rearview mirror.
She gets to her apartment with a hunger she has never felt before.
Emma starts watching him like a hawk after that. The Shark won’t come down to the ER often, but whenever he did it was like she could always sense him in the crowd. Sometimes their eyes would meet across the busy hospital, and she wondered if he felt the same hunger she did. Either way, he was always the first to break eye contact.
Emma had liked other guys before, but never like this. There’s something about the Shark, with his huge frame and perpetual frown, that makes Emma want to devour him.
They’re bringing in a patient who’s wailing in agony and Dana grabs her to come with. They make it to room 3, where Dr Al-Hashimi, Javadi and Ogilvie are helping move the patient onto the bed. He screams as they lower him, his tibia sticking out for everyone to see.
“Ogilvie, assess,” Dr Al-Hashimi orders. She’s calm and cool under pressure, as always.
“Um, open fracture. We need to remove as much dirt as we can and irrigate.”
“What else?”
Ogilvie flounders for a second before regaining his composure. “Start him on prophylaxis as soon as possible, then start him on cefazolin and aminoglycoside.”
“Good job,” Dr Al-Hashimi says earnestly. Emma likes her. She likes how Dr Al-Hashimi never lets anything get to her, how she stays collected even when everything goes to shit. Emma wishes she could be more like Dr Al-Hashimi. “Let’s get an ortho consult,” Dr Al-Hashimi adds, and Emma’s stomach does flips.
Emma remembers when she first started working at the Pitt, they told her Ortho liked to move slow. Dr Al-Hashimi must have done something to change that, because it doesn’t take that long for the Shark to stalk down to room 3. The room always goes silent whenever he enters, and it makes Emma’s heart pound and her hands go clammy. He analyzes the patient like a predator analyzing their prey. She clamps down on her feelings, refusing to let herself be affected when a patient is in pain.
“It’s a go,” he says eventually. “Finish irrigating the wound and we’ll bring him up to the OR.” She doesn’t notice how close she is to him until he turns around and clumsily bumps into her. It almost knocks her back, except he grabs her shoulder to steady her. “You alright?” he asks and she nods wordlessly. He holds onto her for a moment, before realizing what he’s doing, and he lets her go like she burned him. He leaves the room without acknowledging anyone else.
“Huh,” Dana says. “He’s in a friendly mood today.”
“As friendly as he can be,” Javadi mutters under her breath.
Emma’s skin feels like it’s on fire, where he touched her.
This time he’s there first when she steps out into the parking lot. His brows are furrowed as he glares down at his phone. She realizes he hasn’t noticed she’s there, and takes the opportunity to look at him. Her eyes take in that perpetual frown she’s becoming obsessed with, those piercing eyes, those ridiculous muscles. She gulps.
“It’s you,” the Shark startles her, and Emma flushes when she realizes he probably caught her staring. “I’ll walk you to your car.” It’s not a suggestion, and she weirdly appreciates it, because her natural instinct would have been to deny needing any help even if she wanted it.
“I didn’t see your car,” is what Emma says when they finally reach their destination.
“Hm,” the Shark looks back down at his phone. “Car’s in the shop. I’m waiting for my uber.”
Emma knows she shouldn’t, but she asks anyways: “want me to give you a ride?”
He looks at her now, really looks at her, and she refuses to crumble under his scrutiny. “Sure,” he says, and she almost falls on her ass in shock. He doesn’t thank her, just gets in the car. She hands him her phone so that he can put his address into her GPS, and Emma wonders if she’s a creep for being excited that she knows where he lives now.
The car ride is mostly silent, with Emma looking ahead at the road and the Shark looking out the window. Her heart is beating so loudly in her chest that she irrationally wonders if he can hear it. At a stop, she steals a glance at him. His hair is looser after a long and tiresome shift, and she realizes he must have natural curls that he hides under his hair gel. Something about him in her car, looking out the window and clearly exhausted after working ridiculously long hours, makes him look oddly soft. It makes her want him even more.
“Um,” Emma starts when they reach his house. “Thank you, for offering to walk me to my car. It’s really kind of you.”
“Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold.” It’s a corny, over-played joke, but she giggles anyways. He almost smiles, or maybe it’s her imagination.
He turns to open the car door and Emma panics. “Wait!” she yells, and grabs his arm. This moment feels significant, like it’ll be the only time she’ll ever catch him in this state. That tomorrow he’ll go back to being the Shark, with his slicked back hair and cruel glint. She’s shaking when she glides her hand down his arm, feeling his muscles under her touch.
“Emma,” the Shark says in a warning tone.
“You remember my name,” is her reply. She guides his hand to her thigh. She feels his eyes on her but she can’t meet them. She’s too embarrassed.
He gets out of the car, and she feels unbelievably stupid and humiliated. She’s about to drive off in shame, when he goes around to her side and opens her door. “Come on,” is all he says, and she nearly falls out the door in her desperation to get to him.
The Shark’s face is pressed into Emma’s cunt, and she feels like absolute putty in his hands. He’s got an iron grip on her thighs as he’s eating her out, and Emma’s sure her clenched fists in his hair has got to be painful, but he hasn’t complained about it yet. He sucks on her clit, and her fingers dig deeper into his curls. Emma thinks she’s going to go crazy with lust. It feels so hot, so good, it’s too much, too much, too-
“Stop, stop, stooooop,” she doesn’t even realize she’s saying it until he actually stops his ministrations, which makes her whine pathetically.
“You tapping out?” he asks bluntly, and that infuriates her. She’s lying on his bed a sweaty mess, with her chest heaving, and he’s towering over her like none of this affects him. His chin is glistening, and she realizes it’s her slick. That hungry feeling returns - that need to absolutely devour him.
“Get on your back,” she demands, and it floors her when, after a beat, he obeys. She looks at him with wide eyes and he raises an eyebrow at her, waiting to see what she’s going to do. She’s shaking when she crawls into his lap. He puts his hands on her thighs and waits. She tries to regain her breath and says, “put your hands on the bed rails.” He slowly does so, his arms flexing as he moves them above his head to grip the rails. She’s so turned on it’s making her dizzy. She grabs the condom from where he left it on the bed. His arms flex again as she puts the condom on him.
He groans low when she lowers herself onto his cock. She puts her hands on his chest to steady herself, and feels insanely proud when she feels how hard his heart is beating. For the first time ever, he’s the one looking up at her. She thinks she might want to stay above him forever.
He lets her set the pace. Her moans get louder as she bounces on his lap, her head thrown back as pleasure builds inside of her. Her thighs are shaking in equal parts exhaustion and overstimulation, but she can’t get enough of him. Her pussy clenches around his cock as she cums, and it’s not long after that he’s thrusting up erratically and emptying himself into the condom.
It’s during the cooldown, when she’s flopped onto his chest and they’re both breathing heavily, that she realizes he’s still gripping the rails. Her face heats up. “Oh, um,” she finds herself back to her shy self. “Y-you can let go now,” and he does.
She half expects him to kick her out of his bed, but instead he wraps his arms around her. He’s asleep in a matter of minutes, and she remembers how exhausted he looked in her car. She lies there with her head on his chest and listens to his heartbeat.
The hunger only grows.
It feels weird to call Park her boyfriend, so Emma doesn’t, but he’s… something. They barely see each other in the Pitt, and when they do they’re both usually too busy to do anything but briefly acknowledge each other. She’s determined to not let whatever is going on between them affect her work. Not when she’s given so much of herself for this job. She doesn’t think about Fourth of July that often anymore, but every now and then a patient gets a little too rough with either her or another employee, and she feels those arms tightening around her neck all over again.
Dr McKay, Whitaker, and Joy are looking at a patient with a broken jaw when Dr Al-Hashimi pops into the room to let them know she called over an ortho consult for the misalignment issues. When Park stalks into the room like he owns it, Whitaker and Joy both stand up straight. Dr McKay isn’t nearly as dramatic, but she stands back and lets him analyze the patient without a word. Emma watches him from her peripheral vision, but continues on with her tasks. In the Pitt, he was just a surgeon and she was just a nurse.
McKay suddenly shouts “hey! No!” and Emma whips her head just in time to see the patient, a big burly man who’s scared and delirious, grab onto Park. Her heart drops to the floor as the patient’s thrashing around and his nails dig into Park’s forearm and it’s Betty in the parking lot getting attacked, it’s Dana getting punched in the face, It’s Princess losing teeth, it’s the fourth of July-
Park breaks the hold like it’s nothing to him. “Someone sedate him,” Park says, and Whitaker rushes to assist. Emma stands there frozen as the rest of the room resume their work. Soon enough, the patient gets wheeled out to the OR, and it’s like nothing ever happened.
“You okay, kid?” Dana asks, putting a gentle hand on the small of Emma’s back. “You look a little pale.”
“Y-yeah,” Emma stutters out. “I just wasn’t expecting Mr Connors to get violent.”
Dana’s hand moves to Emma’s shoulder in a comforting half-hug. “Yeah well, you know how it is. But Dr Park’s a big guy. He can take care of himself.” Emma thinks if it were her, she wouldn’t have been able to break free of the man’s grasp on her own. She would have struggled uselessly against him, until he either let her go himself or someone came to rescue her.
That night when she fucks Park, there’s an edge of harshness to it that she’s never felt before. She orders him to hold onto the bedrail. She orders him to not make a sound or speak unless spoken to. She orders him to only cum when she lets him.
And he obediently does what she says.
She’s been working at the Pitt for almost a year now, and she’s been fucking Park for a couple of months. She’s trying to teach herself to not flinch when patients get too rough. To stay unbothered like Park and collected like Dr Al-Hashimi, but it’s difficult when they’re older and have years of experience with traumatic situations to harden themselves. Sometimes she can’t help but feel still like a baby deer caught in the headlights.
Donnie tries to pass her a beer, and she politely refuses. She’s going to drive to Park’s after, and she’d rather be sober. A couple of the hospital workers are sitting around in the park after a long shift, sharing stories and telling jokes to lighten the mood. Donnie’s to her right and Jesse’s to her left on the bench. Across from them, Princess is excitedly telling a naughty story to two wide-eyed Whitaker and Javadi.
“He is a freaaaaaak,” Princess sways. The beer sloshes in her hand. “But then again, so am I,” she adds with a wink.
“What’s the wildest, like, sex thing you’ve done?” Javadi leans forward, big eyes brimming with curiosity. Whitaker coughs uncomfortably, but still listens intently.
“Oooooh,” Princess takes a moment to think about it. “A few years ago I dated a guy who was really into pegging.”
Donnie goes “damn” and Jesse snorts and takes a sip of his beer.
Both Javadi and Whitaker look around at the reaction from the nurses. “What’s that?” Javadi asks.
“It’s when a girl straps a dildo on and fucks a dude. Or another girl,” Donnie answers. “I could never.”
“It’s not bad,” Jesse says. “I think it’s hot.”
“Yeah, but you’re bisexual and shit. It’s different for you,” Donnie responds.
Jesse shrugs. Whitaker pipes up awkwardly: “y-yeah, I think that might be a bit too much for me.”
“It’s not really a gay or straight or bi thing,” Princess says. “The dude who was into pegging? You would neeeeever guess it. He was one hundred percent straight and he was like a 6’2” gym bro, a big alpha bro type. A lawyer, actually. But in the bedroom, he was my bitch.”
Javadi giggles, a twinkle in her eye. “Wait, that’s kind of hot.” Whitaker shoots her a bewildered look. “I mean, the prostate exists for a reason!”
“I think it’s hot too,” Emma mumbles and looks down at her hands in her lap. They feel clammy all of a sudden. She can’t help but imagine her and Park like that. Her being the one to fuck into him for once. She wonders if he’d let her. He lets her do so much already. She feels a tingle of pleasure at the thought.
Emma didn’t drink at all, but she still feels dizzy when she drives to Park’s house. She lets herself in (he gave her the keys a while ago) and it’s quiet and dark. Everything about his apartment is modern and spotless. Impersonal in a way that should be a turn-off, but it fits him. She makes her way to his bedroom.
He’s asleep, laid out in his bed with nothing but underwear on. She watches the rise and fall of his chest. Her eyes drink in his Greek god physique. There was one time in the morning, when he was making breakfast for them, that she teased him about how fit he was. His lips had quirked slightly (never a full smile - she was determined to get that out of him one day) and he told her it was important for surgeons to maintain a healthy body with exercise and yoga. He wouldn’t be able to do a thirteen hour procedure without some sort of strict training regime to make sure he didn’t fuck up his back and neck.
She quietly moves to the bathroom to take a quick shower before crawling into his bed. She doesn’t bother putting any clothes on. She places a hand on his stomach and runs her fingers down his abs, feather-light. Emma already knows he’s a light sleeper. She hears him sigh above her and she has to move out of the way when he lifts his hands above his head to stretch.
“Hey,” is all he says when he turns to her. His eyes are intense as always.
“Hey,” she replies back. She’s back to feeling him up. He inches closer to her.
“What time is it?”
“1 AM,” Emma says, feeling a little guilty. Both their hours can get insane in the Pitt, but ortho’s on another level. She should let him sleep, but she’s greedy when it comes to him. And he never complains.
“Hmm,” Park rubs his eyes. She never thought she’d be into a man of such few words, but she likes that about him. She has a tendency to over-talk when she’s nervous or excited, but Park always chooses his words carefully. He never sugarcoats or says more than he needs to. She moves her hand to his shoulder and pushes, so he’s lying on his back and she’s straddling him. He lets her move him around without complaint. Their lips meet in a slow kiss. He sighs when she starts grinding down on his crotch, and she can feel his cock getting hard through his underwear.
She can tell he’s too tired for any actual fucking, and she’s not gonna push it. Times like this, he usually just lies there and lets her do whatever. She moans as she rubs herself on his cock, and her slick is getting his briefs wet. He moves a hand to her, and lazily starts rubbing her clit. It doesn’t take long before her body is trembling as her orgasm hits. She falls onto his chest and they fall asleep like that.
Emma’s alone in bed when she wakes up the next day, but she’s used to that. He’s in the kitchen making breakfast for them. She grabs one of his shirts from his drawer, puts it on, and makes her way to the kitchen area.
Park’s wearing grey sweatpants and some sort of band t-shirt she doesn’t recognize. He’s got his usual oatmeal and coffee for himself on the table, and he’s making her a smoothie. Banana, strawberries, and blueberries - her favorite. When she first met Park, she never thought he’d be the domestic type. She’s honestly not even sure he’d call himself that even now, but a wave of affection passes through her as she watches him move around the kitchen.
“Morning!” Emma says brightly.
“Mm,” Park nods at her. He’s not a talker, but especially not in the mornings. He wordlessly hands her the smoothie and plants a small kiss on the top of her head. She blushes.
“Sorry I came back so late,” Emma says. “Jesse invited me to hang out after work. I was drinking with him, Donnie, Javadi, Princess and Whitaker” - she wishes she could have taken a picture of the bombastic side eye he gave at the mention of Whitaker, but she presses on - “and I didn’t drink, don’t worry. I know not to drink and drive. But it was nice, just hanging out and talking. I feel like I almost never get to have a social life nowadays, so that was nice”
“Mhm,” is his reply. He’s sitting down now, sipping his coffee and glaring into space. She knows he’s not actually mad or bothered by her rambling. He’s got an insane resting bitch face in the mornings. Well, any time of day, but even worse in the mornings. The things she used to find intimidating about him, she now finds endearing.
It’s at that moment she remembers what Princess said yesterday, and she suddenly feels excited and nervous at the same time. Park is a surprisingly chill guy outside of work, and he lets her boss him around like crazy during sex, but this might be a step too far. Still, she can’t help the words that spill out of her mouth: “A-anyways, Princess is pretty wild, did you know that?” No response. Which means he either didn’t know or didn’t care. “She was talking about this guy she’s dating, and how he’s into like, having public sex where they might get caught, but she’s really into it too-”
“That’s irresponsible,” is all he contributes.
“Oh, yeah! Totally, um…” She regains her train of thought. “Anyways, the point isn’t about that, it’s about her ex. She said that she used to date this guy, straight guy by the way. He likes going to the gym and everything.”
“Only straight men go to the gym,” Park mutters.
“Don’t sass me!” Emma snaps, embarrassed. He hides a small smirk behind his coffee cup. She knows she’s rambling like crazy because she’s nervous, but at this point she’s word vomiting. “Well, as I was saying, this guy’s like, super straight. But she said he was super into pegging.”
“Mhm.” She wants to throw something at him.
“Anywho, anyways, by the by, Romeo” - what the Hell was she even saying? - “I was, uh, um. I was wondering. If like, if that’s something you’d, um, something y-you’d be into.”
“Going to the gym?”
“No!” She shouts and throws a napkin at him. It floats uselessly in the air between them before landing on the counter. “Pegging!” The minute she yells the word, her hand flies to her mouth in disbelief.
Park shrugs. “Yeah, we can try it.”
“Oh!” Her brain short-circuits. She wasn’t expecting to get this far. He’s watching her with those intense eyes, like a shark getting ready to gobble up some small fry. “Well, cool.”
“We can buy it together,” he offers up.
“Huh?”
Park looks at her like she’s simple. “The dildo. I’m going to work in an hour. We can look at selections online until then.”
She kind of wants to take him right there and then. Instead, she replies, “That's awesome sauce.”
It helps that they’re both not unfamiliar with anal sex. Emma has tried it with Park a few times, but it never did much for her. But them both being healthcare professionals meant they were both pretty good at researching safe sex, so they already knew the prep needed beforehand. She tried watching a few porn videos beforehand to get a sense of what she was supposed to do, but she always felt awkward watching porn so she didn’t get much out of them. They decided they were going to do it on Friday, after their shift, because they both had Saturday off the next day, and the strap-on would arrive by then.
She spends the entire week in anticipation, and she can’t help but wonder if he feels the same thrill/excitement/nervousness that she’s feeling. Park’s great at hiding his feelings, but Emma’s learned that that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any. She wonders if he daydreams about getting fucked when he’s stuck in a ridiculously long surgery, and then she feels dirty for thinking about it. She’s still determined not to mix their professional and personal lives.
But it’s hard, when there’s a rare moment of quiet in the ER, and she can’t help but daydream about Friday. Emma is currently eating a granola bar at the hub, during one of those rare moments, and Princess is leaning on the counter, chatting her ear off. Emma doesn’t mind, but she’s not paying much attention today.
Emma doesn’t know if it’s in her head, but she feels the room get quieter when Park walks in. Like a shark getting dropped in a small pond, and all the other fish are now seized with terror at the predator swimming among them. He doesn’t acknowledge her as he stalks towards one of the rooms, but she watches him go with hunger in her eyes. Whitaker is making his way towards them, notices Park, and basically runs into the bathroom to hide instead.
Princess gives a slow whistle. “Ugh, he’s so nasty but he’s hot.”
Emma tries to school her face into a neutral expression. “You like him?” She asks, hoping Princess doesn’t notice her voice crack.
“God, no!” Princess laughs. “He seems like he’d be a terrible boyfriend.” Emma doesn’t argue that he’s actually a great… not-boyfriend. He’s a great something. Princess leans in to whisper now. “He looks like the type of dude who’d bend you over the counter and then use you whichever way he wanted. There’s something sexy about that, but he’s a dirty one night stand type of guy. Not a relationship guy.”
Emma doesn’t correct her, because that’d be insane. But she can’t help but feel smug that she knows that Park isn’t like that. That he makes her breakfast when he can, even on days where he’s gonna work a ridiculously long shift. That he walks her to her car at night even when she’s too self-conscious to ask for help. That he’ll lie down and take whatever she wants to throw at him, and if anything she’s the one using him whichever way she wants.
“It’s slow, we should try restocking what we can,” is Emma’s reply to Princess.
Emma’s waiting for him in the parking lot that Friday night. Her body is thrumming with nerves and excitement, and she tries taking a few deep breaths to calm down. The air is cool against her skin. She feels sweat at the back of her neck and she can’t tell if it’s from nervousness or her tiring shift.
“Hey,” she hears Park say behind her, and she can’t help the sense of deja-vu.
“Hi, you!” She turns and waves at him excitedly. He frowns, but that doesn’t deter her. She already knows what he’s like.
He stops and stares at her for a beat. “... Am I walking you to your car?”
“Oh, uh, about that,” she starts, “my car is with my mom today. She needed it to pick up my uncle at the airport. I was wondering if I could ride home with you?”
He’s watching her now, analyzing. “We’ve already left together once. More times, and people might talk.”
“Yeah,” she replies dumbly. “Would that be so bad?” He says nothing at that. Emma doesn’t usually mind how quiet Park is. She likes it, actually. He chooses his words carefully. He only ever says what needs to be said, and never more than that. He takes his time, sometimes, to make sure what comes out of his mouth is the most efficient way to word something. It’s a quality she tends to find admirable. But now? Now she kind of wants to yell at him to say anything, but he’s staring off into the distance and she knows he’s thinking very carefully about what he’s going to say next.
Emma realizes Park’s made a decision when his eyes snap back to hers, harsh as always. “Alright, let’s go.” He starts walking to his car with purpose. She wants to jump and holler with joy, but she just follows him instead. She can feel herself grinning like an idiot. They never talked about what they were to each other, but maybe she was beginning to mean as much to him as he did to her.
The car ride is filled with her rambling excitedly about her day. Brendon’s staring at the road as he drives with that perpetual frown on his face, but he lets one hand leave the steering wheel to rest on her thigh instead. She knows she looks ridiculous, rambling and dramatically gesticulating to this quiet, stoic man.
Emma’s basically buzzing when they reach his house. Brendon lets her in through the door first, and when he closes the door behind him she turns and pounces on him. She wraps her arms around his neck and jumps up, and he effortlessly grabs her thighs to support her. They’re still kissing when they make their way to his room. They finally break apart when he gently drops her on the bed.
“Are you still down?” He’s standing at the foot of the bed, staring down at her. She feels a thrill course through her body.
“I am. You’re not, uh, nervous?” It felt like a stupid question to ask on the surface, but Emma had spent enough time with him to know that there were genuine human emotions behind that mean exterior. She scoots so he can sit on the edge of the bed.
“No,” is his simple reply. “I trust you.”
There’s a vulnerable feeling in her heart at that, and she feels her eyes get glassy. She reaches forward to hug him, tucking her face into his neck. “I really like you,” she whispers.
“Hm.” His arms wrap around her, and she knows in Brendon Speak that means ‘I really like you too.’ What he does say out loud is “we should shower.”
Emma’s too excited to fully enjoy the shower, instead focusing on scrubbing off the grime and sweat from a hard day working at the ER. The space is too cramped for it to be sexy, and Brendon’s methodical with his cleaning. She steps out of the shower alone, and he says, “you can wait in the room. I need to clean.”
“Do you need any help?” Emma feels awkward when she realizes what he means by that.
“No,” Brendon says. That’s all he says.
“Okay, well, you know where to find me!” She yells out and closes the bathroom door. She goes to the light and turns it on. Turns it back off. Turns it on again. She paces the room, then decides to sit on the edge of the bed.
She’s halfway through deciding to call it quits when she hears the shower turn off. After a few minutes, Brendon emerges, naked and looking perfect as always. His wet, natural curls rest gracefully on his head, not slicked back with the hair product he slathers on for his shifts.
“Hey, good-looking, come here often?” She jokes, and laughs at her own joke. And then feels embarrassed about laughing at her own joke.
He pauses and looks at her weirdly, and decides he doesn’t need to dignify her with a response. He turns to his closet, and produces the strap-on and a bottle of lube. The dildo is a silly, pink-colored thing, because when they were choosing it she thought it’d be funny to fuck him with the girliest dick she could find, but now she’s wondering if that was a mistake. He sits down next to her on the bed, holding that ridiculous pink strap. “You tapping out?” He asks, and it reminds her of the first time they were together.
“N-no,” she replies, but she can hear in her voice how unsure she sounds. “It’s just, you really don’t mind?”
Brendon’s quiet for a moment, so Emma knows he’s choosing his next words carefully. “It’s not about minding it. I’m not doing it just for your sake. I want to.” The way he manages to say that while maintaining that serious expression is almost comical, but it’s so him and Emma can't help but feel impossibly endeared.
It’s enough to get her going. Emma presses a quick kiss to Brendon’s lips before commanding: “get on your back.” He places the strap and the lube on the bed and obeys. His soft cock is resting on his stomach, but he won’t touch it unless she tells him to.
Emma grabs the strap-on, and it’s awkward as she fiddles with it. Brendon watches her. He already knows that if she wants his help, she’ll ask for it. Once it’s secure, she crawls forward until she’s lying on top of him, and they’re kissing again. She feels her strap trapped between their bodies and it’s weird and ridiculously hot. She kisses down to his neck, then his chest. She sucks on one of his nipples until it pebbles between her lips.
When she’s down to his cock, she looks up at him. “How are you feeling, Brendon?” If he realizes this is the first time she called him by his first name, he doesn’t comment on it. His cock is now fully hard.
“I’m good,” he says. She giggles, then licks from the base to the tip of his cock. He’s a big guy, and sucking his dick had been intimidating at first, but he’s never complained about her technique so she imagines she must be doing something right. She feels his thighs tighten beneath her hands when she takes him. She bobs her head up on and down on his cock a few times before popping her mouth off with a wet sound.
She moves her left hand to his ass and gives it a quick squeeze. “Still good?” She asks. He nods wordlessly. She moves to fetch the lube, and coats a generous amount on her fingers. He sighs when she presses a finger in, and her brows furrow when there’s less resistance than she’d expect. “Wait, did you…?”
“I prepped in the bathroom. My fingers are a lot bigger than yours,” Brendon explains. He’s looking at her, searching for her reaction.
“That’s, um,” images of Brendon bent over in the shower, fingers up his ass as he’s scissoring himself open, flash through her mind. “That’s really hot.” He doesn’t smile, but she can tell he’s pleased with her response. “Wait, so this is it?” She feels woefully under-prepared. “We’re just gonna, like, do it now?”
“What do you want, Emma?” Brendon asks. She pauses.
What did Emma want? When they first started fucking, she wanted someone who made her feel less lonely. Someone who would help her take the edge off of another stressful day in the Pitt. When it became evident what type of lover Brendon was, she got a thrill out of the control she had over him in the bedroom. Yeah, at the hospital he owned the hallways and struck fear in the hearts of every employee who happened to get in his way, while she squeaked if a patient looked at her funny. But here? She could do whatever she wanted to him, and he’d just take it.
Emma realizes now how important this has become to her. That this big, intimidating and closed off man let her do these things to him. Trusted her enough to let her do these to him. She thinks maybe she loves him a little bit.
So maybe it’s corny, but she’s earnest when she looks down on him with her big brown eyes and says, “I want to make love to you.” She’s not expecting the bark of laughter that rips itself from him. She’s blushing furiously. “Never mind! That was stupid! I shouldn’t have said it like that!”
He’s full of laughter now, and she’s never seen him like this. He wipes his eyes. “No, that’s, it’s fine,” he’s still laughing, and she’s never seen him stutter over his words like that. “No one’s ever said something like that to me before.”
“I want to say things like that to you,” Emma says. His laughter subsides and he looks at her with an expression she’s never seen from him.
Maybe Brendon doesn’t have the words for it, maybe that’s why he doesn’t say anything at all. Instead, he spreads his legs and nods to her. She lines her strap to his hole, and she’s holding her breath when she pushes in. He grunts. He’s not smiling anymore, but his expression is softer than its usual scowl. Her heart is thumping in her chest as she presses deeper in. His thighs are thick and powerful around her waist, and she plants her hands on his hard stomach for support.
“Are you okay?” She asks when she’s bottomed out. He took it like a champ, but she’s still worried she might hurt him or cause him any discomfort.
“I’m good,” his voice is tight. She’s never heard him like this before. She almost wants to call it quits again, for his sake. “You can move.”
“Are you sure?” Emma’s so worried now, but Brendon just nods. If he trusts her to do this to him, she needs to trust that he’ll be honest about what he can handle. She starts moving slowly at first, unsure of herself. Small snaps of her hips against his ass.
“You can go deeper,” Brendon says. Emma bites her lips. It’s about trust. They both want this. This time, she pulls out farther than she had before, and goes back in until her strap is bottoming out on him again. He lets out a small moan. It’s equal parts surreal and mind-blowingly hot, looking down and seeing her pink cock enter him.
She’s picking up her confidence and a pace when she angles her hip a certain way, and suddenly Brendon gives a loud shout and his whole body goes rigid. Emma freezes and goes to apologize when Brendon shouts, “no! Don’t stop!” She’s shocked, because he’s never been vocal or demanding in bed before, but her brows furrow in determination and soon enough she’s chasing that pleasure point from him again.
Below her, Brendon’s entire body is taught. His thighs are painfully squeezing her, but she doesn’t mind. His hands are gripping the bedsheets, the knuckles white with how hard he’s fisting them. She hits the spot again and Brendon moans loudly “ahh!” and she’s never heard him be this vocal or out of control before and it’s so hot she thinks she might die.
This is it, this is the hunger. This is when it all starts to make sense to her, how this man twice her size lets her do whatever she wants to him. Lets her boss him around. Lets her fuck him with a strap. The power is getting to her head, and suddenly Emma starts a brutal pace as she fucks him.
The sound of his loud moans and their sweat-soaked skin slapping together fills the bedroom as she continues to fuck him. She’s panting in exhaustion now but she can’t stop when he’s being so good for her.
“Ahh, I’m, I’m cumming,” he whimpers and she’s so drunk with lust and power that she barely registers the words. His entire body seizes up when he orgasms, and she feels his cum splash on her belly, but she’s so far gone she’s still fucking into him. His body is shaking with over-stimulation, and it’s when he pushes her shoulder gently and begs “stop” that she finally regains her senses and slows down.
They’re both staring at each other, wide-eyed and panting in exhaustion. After a few seconds, Emma asks, “are you okay?”
Brendon huffs out a laugh and pulls her on top of him, and gives her a filthy kiss. When they break away, he asks, “what do you want?”
He’s exhausted, but they both know she didn’t finish. So she says, “let me sit on your face.”
“Come on.” He helps her get the strap off and throws it on the mattress next to them. She shuffles forward until her cunt is in his face, and she grips the headboard for support.
Her whole body is shaking from how tired she feels, but she rides his face until she’s shouting and cumming on top of him.
Afterwards, they fall asleep in each other’s arms, and Emma thinks this might be the happiest she’s ever felt in her life.
The next day Emma wakes up as she usually does in Brendon’s house, and makes her way to the kitchen where he’s making breakfast. She pauses at the door.
“You’re making pancakes?” Emma asks, eyeing the plates skeptically. “I thought you said pancakes were unnecessary sugar bombs that no one needed in their diet.”
“Morning,” Brendon says. When she sits down at the counter, he moves and gives her a quick kiss on the top of her head. “It’s Saturday. We can have a cheat day.” Emma grins stupidly at the ‘we’ of it all. If Brendon notices, he doesn’t comment on it.
“Hey, since we’re both off today, I was wondering if maybe we could go to the mall?” Emma’s never asked him to do activities like this before. She’s anticipating the rejection already, and she can’t help but start rambling: “I mean, only if you want to. I wanted to buy a new hoodie. My old one’s falling apart. And I was thinking, since I’m gonna buy a hoodie, I might as well look at some crocs. For work. Perlah said they’re very comfortable. And if we’re gonna be there anyways, there’s the new Spider-Man movie, and Betty said it’s really good. We might as well go, since we’ll be at the mall anyways?”
Brendon sips his coffee. “Yeah, sounds like a plan.”
Emma smiles widely at him. She was going on a date with her boyfriend. Despite all the stresses and worries she had at work, she could confidently say she was pretty happy with her personal life now.
When they head out, Emma takes Brendon’s hand. He lets her.