Work Text:
Hockey Stonewall 🏳️🌈🏒
Harris: ok I know this is a long shot but I am FREAKING out
Kip: ??
Harris: Do any of you millionaires have a way to get invited to the royal wedding?
Troy: please, someone save my life by saying yes
Scott: Do you mean the Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox wedding?
Harris: What other wedding is there that matters?
Shane: Yours?
Luca: is it even a royal wedding anymore if the prince abdicated?!
Harris: I do not fucking care as long as I can go therrrrrree please
Kip: ok girl slow down, what is up?
Harris: ok first of all it’s a gay royal wedding and second of all, I need to go there and steal all of their ideas for MY wedding
Troy: Our wedding
Luca: it’s not considered a royal wedding anymore i googled it
Scott: Wouldn’t it be kind of odd to go to a wedding of someone you don’t even know?
Harris: Those two are the most well-known gays in the entire world.
Kip: Elton John begs to differ.
Harris: I don’t care about Elton John, I need to go to that fucking wedding or I’ll lose my mind [This message has been edited: ‘kill myself’ has been replaced by ‘lose my mind’.]
Shane: Can we maybe not use this type of language
Harris: sorry
[15 minutes later.]
Harris: Ok sorry everyone, I’ve had an iced coffee and I feel more normal now. Sorry for my crashout. And sorry for the language I used.
Scott: It’s okay.
Kip: Are you turning into bridezilla?
Harris: apparently 🙁
Harris: I’ve realized going to a stranger’s wedding would be a weird move.
Kip: proud of you
Scott: I’m sure there is a way to find out who their wedding planner is.
Harris: Do you think we can afford that person?
Troy: baby……… 💸💸💸💸 anything for you
Harris: Ok this is helping even more than the iced coffe 🥰
Ilya: shane and i have invite
Harris: ????????????????
Scott: Really?! I have literally met Alex Claremont-Diaz personally and YOU get an invite?!
Ilya: maybe they only invite people they want to have orgy with during wedding night
Shane: They contacted us after we were outed publicly to express their condolences and their support. Since their story was so similar.
Kip: the prince of england contacted you personally?
Scott: I feel kind of offended to be honest.
Ilya: he is prince of england, shane is prince of hockey so it makes sense
Luca: how long do i have to play hockey for my life to get this crazy?
Kip: sweetheart you had a sex tape leak, i think that’s enough crazy for a while
Luca: 🙁
Kip: harris are you still alive?
Harris: no
Troy: Harris had to step away from his phone to calm down but wants me to firmly remind you that he will only post ugly photos of you on the cens social media if you don’t take photos of everything during that wedding
Ilya: there are no ugly photos of me
[6 minutes later]
Shane: [screenshot of a text conversation with Henry Fox] [link to a wedding planner’s website] Don’t say I never did anything for you.
Harris: omgggg Shane I love you
Harris: I’m crying real tears right now. thank you so much.
Shane: Henry says they are booked out for years but might make an exception due to the media interest your wedding will most likely receive. Plus a personal recommendation.
Kip: shane casually calling the prince of england by his first name
Harris: a personal recommendation?!
Shane: Yes, by Henry. For a friend of a friend 🙂
Harris: ok brb i need to lie on the floor for a minute
Troy: shane i think you’ve killed my fiancé