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Jean could summarize and say almost everything, but that would only take a second and after downing a couple of the barely-alcohol drinks Jean could go on for days about how Eren Jaeger rubs him the wrong way.
He hates that Mikasa only has eyes for an idiot with a face regularly contorted in embarrassingly earnest determination. It’s excruciating to watch.
And fine, to each his own, but Jean hates the embarrassingly earnest speeches too, like Eren knows so much better and his voice carries? Jean could be on the other side of camp and still get a ringing in his ears from Eren launching into one of his lofty ideals this, assured confidence that modes.
He hates that Eren doesn’t stop being stupidly earnest even when there’s no audience. Which means it isn’t about the attention. Eren actually believes the stuff spewing out of his lips.
Jean hates that he thinks about Eren's lips now.
Sometimes he wants to grab Eren by the front of his ratty shirt and make him just listen to how ridiculous he is. It doesn’t bother him that Eren knows how to throw a punch, because Jean knows too, although after a few drinks apiece they’re both less than accurate and Jean assumes the room is spinning slightly for Eren too, so at least the odds even out.
Jean ends up with one hand full of shirt and one hand in Eren’s hair and his eyes stuck on Eren’s lips the whole time. So Jean can definitely confirm for sure that he definitely still hates everything about Eren’s mouth. That is a definite.
He discovers that Eren has a biting thing and he hates that too, because ow, and it’s worse since Jean doesn’t get a chance to counter. He gets kind of distracted. Too busy shouting about Eren’s stupid mouth and then into his mouth about what an idiot he is, just a complete asshole who doesn’t know when to quit.
Eren gets a hold of him too and there’s drunken grappling and snarling and Jean’s back hits the wall out of nowhere. Eren says something—kind of hot and loud against Jean’s neck, smelling like weak alcohol and apples and none of it totally registering since it files right to the Eren speaking, attempt to ignore part of Jean’s head by default. It feels good struggling out from under him though, wrestling with Eren’s arm and shoulder to push him back. Jean doesn’t expect the two of them to hit the edge of a bunk but he takes full advantage of it when they do, or at least decides gravity probably knows what it’s doing, and at the end of it he's on top of Eren and has the upper hand.
Of course Eren doesn’t give up. Of course. Jean hates that. Eren just grabs Jean’s leg like that was his plan all along, his whole body surging up like he’s going to try and flip them. Jean sees through it and buckles down, not letting them move.
It makes Eren breathe harder so Jean does it again. Rolls down on him, pinning with extra knee and hip pressure.
He hates that Eren is red in the face from exertion but won’t admit defeat. He hates that he’s panting and red in the face himself, like his whole body is lit up, and then Eren turns around and uses Jean’s own moves against him. Hands let go of Jean’s thigh and twist in his hair and shirt instead, wrenching him down and mashing his face against Eren’s neckline.
And Jean hates that at first too, he tells himself he can’t stand how hot Eren’s skin is against his cheek and how it means he can't be mad against Eren's mouth anymore, but then a ridge of collarbone passes in front of his eyes and Jean decides he'd rather pay Eren back for the biting thing instead.
He closes his mouth over skin and Eren groans, bucking against him, breathing hoarse and ragged words into Jean’s ear that are hard to catch, maybe fuck or fuck you— or fuck me—
And Jean makes a surprised, helpless noise and comes all over himself.
If he were more alert and not so overwhelmed, he’d probably hate the dazed hush between them right after. Or at least the way the rest of him is, all things considered, having a difficult time hating much of anything and is actually pretty pleased with the whole ordeal. Jean tries to sort that out while his muscles tingle with approval and approaching sleepiness and oh no that felt really good.
There’s a mirrored expression on Eren’s face and Jean realizes there’s no way he could be responsible for the entire mess when half of it is on the wrong side of his clothes.
And that—
There isn’t even a word for how Jean feels about that.