Chapter Text
The idea comes late at night.
This year, they have found themselves in the same position they have found themselves in for several years now. Celebrating Rachel's birthday on a couch, with a cake too large for two in between them and a bottle of wine that goes surprisingly well with their dessert.
They pass the bottle back and forth as they watch Funny Girl and even Quinn manages to recite any line not belonging to Fanny Brice. Fanny Brice is Rachel's part. No questions asked. Quinn has learned this over the past 21 years and she dares not even try to encroach upon what is obviously Rachel's territory.
Rachel takes a long swig and sighs.
"I forgot to make a wish before blowing out my candles this year."
She turns her head towards Quinn who laughs aloud.
"Oh please Rachel. You've made the same wish since you were 6. Always about the same thing. But really, you're so hard working that you don't need to wish on candles or gold stars even," she looks at her best friend and smirks. "You'll be on Broadway soon. I know it and you know it."
"That's true." Of course it is, Quinn thinks to herself. "But Quiiiiiin," she whines, "Think about it. Pretty soon I'll be on Broadway, everyone will know my name, everyone will want my autograph, everyone will want to be with me and yet…I'll have no one to share it with."
Quinn laughs loudly as she takes another forkful of cake and chews it thoughtfully.
"Rach, after you make it on Broadway, like you said, everyone will want to be with you. They'll be falling over themselves to take you out."
Rachel sighs even louder and gulps down more wine.
"Some wine to go with all that whining." Quinn laughs to herself lightly.
"Quiiiin, I'm serious," she intends to throw her head down on Quinn's shoulder but somehow misses entirely and slides down Quinn's chest and into her lap.
Quinn laughs loudly at this and this is when she realizes that both she and Rachel are both well on their way to being drunk. This is their second bottle of wine and that was after the birthday shots that Rachel insisted upon.
"Quinn, seriously, I can't rely on my fame to find me someone because then that means I will have only found someone because of my fame. I want someone who wants me now. Before the fame, before the money, before the adoring fans. Otherwise….." Quinn has to look down to make sure that drunk Rachel is still awake.
She is. And she's looking up at Quinn in a way that tells Quinn exactly what she's thinking.
She understands Rachel's fear because sometimes she feels it herself. She herself is familiar with being kept up late at night paralyzed by the fear of being alone forever. Or worse, only finding someone after receiving her inheritance at 25. Her parents, both co-founders of the multi-billion dollar Fabray Industries, have always wanted the best for her. Their only desire since her birth was to give her everything in their power, yet without realizing it, they had actually taken something away from her. Being born into the Fabray family guaranteed her everything she could ever want.
Everything except true love.
Because even if Quinn found it, or thought she had found it, how would she know? She had always been rich. She had always been "famous". No one would ever not recognize her name. And therefore, she would always have that niggling doubt in the back of her mind that anyone she came across would only stick around for the money.
She reasoned that that was why she had yet to find anyone. Because anyone who even mildly looked into her life would know that she was banned from her inheritance until her mid-twenties. So why even approach her before then?
Boyfriends had come and gone and for a while that had been okay with her. For a while, during high school she had actually liked the spontaneity of dating someone new nearly every month. She enjoyed getting to know someone new. She enjoyed trying new things and her serial dating had actually led to her interest in things like paintball and sporting events though she herself had always strayed away from those sorts of activities. She had even enjoyed the reputation she garnered from tossing each boy to the side after a few months and choosing another.
But now? Now, it had gotten old. Now she was less than a year away from graduating college and she hadn't dated anyone since her sophomore year at NYU. Now, though she would never voice it aloud, she was getting nervous. She was getting worried that she would either be forever searching for someone to love her (and just her) or she would be stuck marrying someone in her same position. Someone who was in the same boat as her, wealthy and skeptical of others' intentions to the point where the only option was to marry each other.
If her parents had it their way, the latter would've already happened. There were several wealthy families with healthy, well-mannered sons that would jump at the opportunity to even take Quinn out. But Quinn didn't want those men. Quinn didn't want to have to second guess the legitimacy of her relationships each night as she got into bed with a stranger, deemed perfect for her by her parents. So for now, she was alone. On Rachel's couch getting drunk and lamenting the state of her life.
Quinn steps out of her mind to look down at Rachel and finds her looking off into the distance.
"What are you thinking Rach?" She asks softly, as if anything louder than a whisper would shatter the intimate environment. She unconsciously lifts her right hand to run her fingers through Rachel's hair and Rachel subconsciously moves deeper into Quinn's lap.
The time in between the question and the answer is almost so great that Quinn begins to think she's just not going to answer.
Then she hears it.
"I'm scared Quinn," and Quinn can tell that it has taken every ounce of courage for Rachel to say such a thing, even to her best friend of 21 years. And it seems like this one statement spurs on a slew of concerns within Rachel because before Quinn can ask what all she's scared of, Rachel lets her walls fall in her drunken state. "I'm scared no one will be there when the curtains close and the crowd is gone. I'm scared that I'll be living my dream by day and my nightmare when I come home to an empty house that doesn't feel like a home at all. I'm scared that they'll interview me and ask me when I'm going to settle down and I'll…I'll have nothing to say."
She wants to comfort her and tell her that she'll find someone soon. She wants to pull Rachel into a hug and tell her that she's sweet, and funny, and worthy of all the love in the world. She wants to assure Rachel that she won't have to spend her life alone. But she can't in good conscience say such things because she can't be absolutely sure and she's never said anything to Rachel that she didn't absolutely mean.
So her next sentence surprises her. Not because of its falsity, but actually because of its truth.
"We could get married. You wouldn't have to be alone if you married me, Rach."
Technically, this statement is true. If this were any other time, in any other circumstance, the statement wouldn't change everything. It would be said, laughed about between the two of them, and the subject would be dropped.
But right now, with both women feeling vulnerable and alone, this statement carries a new weight. Now, it appears to be more of a suggestion as opposed to a fact. Right now, in the silence, this statement does change everything.
It's out there and Quinn can't take it back. And if she's honest with herself, she doesn't want to. Because it's true. If she married Rachel, she wouldn't be alone. Even after 21 years of friendship, of knowing every gory detail about Rachel, Quinn had no intention of losing or leaving her.
Rachel Berry. Annoying, loud, rambunctious, self-centered Rachel Berry had been a staple in her life since day one. They had been born six months apart, with Quinn being slightly older. Their fathers had met and immediately hit it off when they were attending a new fathers seminar to ease their nerves and so when she thinks about something as crazy as marrying Rachel, it doesn't seem so crazy at all.
In fact, if Rachel's fathers were rich like the Fabrays. If Rachel had been born a Ryan. This probably would've already come up. Their parents would have pushed them together in an attempt to keep the money in "the family".
But Rachel's dads weren't rich. Though they weren't starving for money, they certainly didn't have Fabray money. And Rachel wasn't born a boy, in fact, she was probably the most feminine girl Quinn had ever met.
Not only that but they were both distinctly heterosexual. They always had been. There had never been any talk of interest in other women. There hadn't even been the casual "I wonder what it's like to kiss a girl?" Not even when all the others girls were experimenting and practicing on each other did Quinn and Rachel think of women in that way. And certainly not each other.
Yet here they were, legitimately discussing marriage. Or…at least Quinn was. Rachel hadn't even responded. Quinn checked back on Rachel to make sure she was in fact, still awake.
"Still with me, Rach?" Her voice comes out soft and low.
"Yeah," Rachel stops and clears her throat because her voice sounds hoarse and almost unrecognizable.
"Yeah, I'm still with you." She says nothing more. Quinn understands. What more can you say to an offer like that?
"I-" she pauses knowing that whatever she says next can change everything. Is she prepared for that? Is she prepared to follow through on what happens next?
Quinn looks down at Rachel and finds Rachel looking back at her with those big brown eyes. Rachel looks scared and vulnerable but…also hopefully and curious about whatever Quinn may say next. She wonders for a second if she could truly be happy with Rachel like this forever? And her answer is so fast and so clear that Quinn Fabray, who is rarely surprised by anything, catches herself completely off guard.
Yes. She could be happy with Rachel. Because she has been happy with her for over 20 years. So it's unlikely that 20 more would change anything.
That answer propels her.
"I'm serious Rachel. I know it sounds crazy but just listen. How long have we known each other?"
Rachel furrows her brow. "Our whole lives."
"Exactly! Our whole lives! We've been friends since we were born. My parents love your dads and vice versa. No one knows me better than you do and I'm fairly certain I know everything there is to know about you. Unless there's anything you're not telling me?"
Rachel responds immediately, not wanting Quinn to think for a moment that she keeps secrets. "No no! You know everything there is to know. I tell you everything."
"Exactly Rach, you tell me everything. I tell you everything. This all makes sense. I mean, what are you looking for in a guy?"
Rachel sits up to think, as she begins to hear the seriousness in Quinn's voice.
"Umm, well, first and foremost, I want someone to appreciate my talents." Because even slightly drunk, Rachel's first concern is her voice. Quinn smirks but she doesn't notice. "I need someone who respects my space, I also really need someone to understand that my first priority is work. I mean Broadway is my-"
"dream" they both say at the same time.
"See Rachel? This is what I mean! I know you! I know your hopes and your dreams. I appreciate your talents because I was at your very first performance. I was with you the very first time you discovered Funny Girl. I hated it and complained the whole time, but I was there. And I have every intention of being at your Broadway debut. I definitely respect you needing your space Rach, our periods have been on the same cycle since we were 15 so we always want space at the same time. And there is no one that understands work being a priority quite like me. I mean, think about it, as soon as I graduate my dad is going to practically hand me an empire and running a business and managing employees is a 24 hour job. We're perfect for each other because not only did we come from the same place but we're headed in the same direction Rachel."
She pauses realizing that her words are a lot to process. Even to her own ears.
Rachel is silent and staring down at her lap. Suddenly, Quinn feels as sober as ever. Suddenly she feels like every bit of air has been sucked out of the room. She feels warm all over. It takes Quinn a moment to realize that she's nervous. Her body is reacting like this because she's afraid Rachel will say no. Or maybe she's afraid that she'll say yes. She's not really sure which is worse.
"Rach-"
"Quinn-"
They both laugh nervously, but Quinn gestures for Rachel to continue first.
She sighs before continuing.
"Quinn….I…do you….ugh. I'm sorry. This is just all so crazy. Like, are you saying…you're in love with me?"
Quinn opened her mouth to respond. Was she in love with Rachel? No. Not at all. The idea of romantic love never even crossed her mind when it came to Rachel.
But there was love between them. Quinn loved Rachel like she was family. But not like sister family…like, everything she did just made more sense when Rachel was there family. She crinkled her nose realizing that made no sense. Maybe she wasn't as sober as she thought.
"I-I'm not-Look Rachel," Quinn hardly knew where to start. She didn't want to hurt Rachel's feelings by outright telling her she wasn't in love with her, but at the same time she needed Rachel to see this for what it was. She decided to start again.
"Rachel Berry, I can personally guarantee you that no one on this earth that loves you more than I do. I love your drive, I love your passion for Broadway. I love that you don't half ass anything, even the small things. I love that even though you're a vegan, you still let me eat meat and you don't make me feel like shit about it. I love that you need an afternoon nap by 3pm otherwise you get irritable. I love everything there is to love. And I can't wait to see what kind of person you become once you make it to Broadway. I can't wait to see what you accomplish and more than that, I can't wait to experience it with you. And that's what a marriage is about. It's about love, yes, but also about commitment. It's about promises that are intended to last a lifetime. It's about showing up and being there and I've already been here 20 years. So what's a lifetime more?"
Quinn lets that sink in for both herself and Rachel. The fact that this is all falling freely from her mouth is almost frightening to Quinn. Where is all of this coming from? Has it always been burrowing beneath the surface? Has it always been waiting on the tip of her tongue?
"Well Quinn, while I am certainly inclined to agree with you," Rachel was sobering up, "A marriage is more than just love, but….are you really serious about this? Do you really think it's a good idea?"
Quinn doesn't hesitate this time. The more she thinks about it, the better it all sounds.
"I'm dead serious Rachel. I was serious when I threatened to castrate Joey Anderson for making fun of you having two dads. I was serious when I turned down MIT to be closer to you here at NYU. And I'm serious about this too. I know it sounds crazy. But at the same time it makes so much sense that we would do this. I'm planning on being with you forever already. You practically live at my place, we already share everything anyway, and if we're being completely honest…."
Rachel looks up into Quinn's eyes almost begging her to continue. Quinn stares back and reaches out for Rachel's cold, clammy hands and finds them. She holds Rachel's hands tightly, so tightly in fact, that she can't tell if Rachel is even really holding hers back. But she continues anyway.
"I'm not worried about you finding someone to love you Rachel. I know that you would, even if it wasn't in the time frame you had in mind. But I just don't know if he would love you the way you deserve. I don't know if he would ever be good enough. And, maybe it's not my place, but I worry that someone would try to take advantage of you. Like you said, what if you meet some guy but he's just after the fame and the money? Or I worry that it'll be some actor that tries to extinguish your star to make himself shine brighter and I-God, I don't want that for you. I have always wanted the very best for you Rachel and I know that if you give me a chance, I could be the very best. And that sounds insane, I know, but…." She doesn't know what else to say.
These words tumbling out of her mouth are so foreign. She's thought these things in passing but never once has she said them aloud to Rachel. She's considered the fact that Rachel is too good for every single man that's ever passed her by, but she herself never considered that she might be a good fit for Rachel. Yet everything she was saying was true.
"So, you're…you're doing this just for me? So I'm… not taken advantage of?" Quinn hears something in her voice that she can't quite place. Anger? Desperation? Sadness?
"No but…yes?" Quinn becomes frustrated and goes to pull back her hands from Rachel's lap, but Rachel refuses to let go.
"Just…tell me the truth. You've always been honest with me Quinn. So what are you trying to say?"
The truth? "The truth is that I trust you. I trust you with my life. The truth is that I love you, you're my best friend. The truth is that I don't want to be alone. And I never want you to feel alone either. The truth is that together we could be unstoppable. Broadway meets business. The truth is I could be front row at every show so that everyone knows that you not only accomplished your dreams, but found a beautiful woman to share your life with. The truth is that you can be my date for those boring as fuck galas and we can make the whole scene more progressive. The truth is that we can both save ourselves so much heartbreak this way. And the truth is that this doesn't feel at all like setting for something less because even as just friends, nothing as real as what we have has ever come my way. The truth, Rachel Berry...is that I want to marry the shit out of you."
This makes Rachel lean forward in laughter and she squeezes Quinn's hands.
"Quinn Fabray! Though you make great points, that is not how you ask a girl to marry you!"
Quinn laughs loudly with her, but leans forward so that her forehead is pressed against Rachel's.
She's so close that she can feel the warmth of Rachel's breath. She can smell the wine on her lips.
"Rach…is that a yes?" Rachel closes her eyes as Quinn's soft breath hits her.
Rachel opens her eyes and takes a deep breath and it's when she exhales that Quinn hears it. It's faint and breathy but she hears it.
"Yes."
"Yes?"
Rachel nods, and opens her mouth to repeat herself but Quinn stops the words from coming out by surging forward and pressing her lips firmly against Rachel's.
She doesn't know what causes her to kiss Rachel, but as their lips brush lazily together, Quinn has no regrets.
If Rachel has any doubts if she could go through with something like this, Quinn's lips on hers tell her everything she needs to know.
Yes, she could definitely marry Quinn Fabray.
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Title by Us The Duo
Chapter Text
Surprisingly enough, it's Rachel that approaches the idea of putting all of this down on paper.
When she mentions it to Quinn, she laughs.
"What? What do you mean?"
"I mean, that maybe we should write something up and put it down on paper."
Quinn puts her book down. Her eyebrows furrow.
"Like a contract? Rachel, I'm not going to back out of this." She's almost offended at Rachel's lack of confidence in her ability to follow through with an idea that she proposed.
Rachel finally seems to hear the offensiveness of the statement and tries to backtrack.
"No no! I know you wouldn't back out. That's not what the contract is for. It's just to make sure that we each know what's expected of us, you know?"
Quinn is now more confused than she was originally. Was something more expected of her than just marrying Rachel? She voices this question.
"What's expected of us?"
Rachel realizes that maybe she hasn't been as clear as she had intended. She really didn't even know what she was trying to say.
She had only thought of this idea the night before.
It was one of the few nights she had spent in her own dorm at NYADA and she was lying in bed trying to focus on the homework assigned, but really, she already knew the entire history of Broadway so there was hardly a need for focus. Her mind began to wander to what Quinn was doing in her absence.
She had found herself thinking about Quinn quite a bit in the past few weeks. Since she had said "yes" to Quinn's (rather indecent) proposal, she had been thinking heavily about Quinn. All at once, it seemed, so many thoughts came rushing towards her.
When would they get married?
How would they tell their parents?
Would there parents be okay with such a thing?
The Fabrays had never expressed any particular disdain for same-sex couples, but they had never spoken positively about it either. Rachel was sure her dad's would be fine with it, obviously. They adored Quinn, treated her as if she was a second daughter, gotten excited over Quinn's many accomplishments as if they had raised her themselves.
But what about Mr. and Mrs. Fabray? Sure, they had always welcomed Rachel into the family, but 21 years later, she was still only comfortable referring to them as Mr. and Mrs. Fabray, whereas Quinn had occasionally referred to Rachel's fathers as her own.
What would they think of Rachel Berry marrying their only daughter? They may have been fine with them as friends, but would they approve of them as wives?
Throughout the weeks, the greatest fear that had manifested itself in Rachel's brain was the question that she was sure everyone would ask: Why Rachel Berry?
Quinn could have anyone. Man or woman. It would be expected that Quinn would marry someone successful. Someone beautiful. Someone who was witty and brilliant. Someone who lit up a room. Someone who was obviously more worthy than Rachel.
But Quinn had chosen her. For some strange reason, Quinn had overlooked every man and woman she had ever come across and chosen Rachel.
But it wasn't as if she had nothing to offer, Rachel reminded herself.
She was destined to be a star. She always had been. She was headed for Broadway and the only reason why she wasn't already there was because her father's insisted that if they were paying for Rachel's $40,000 a year education then she was going to focus on it solely and earn a degree.
She had originally tried to secretly audition for shows and still focus on school, but she quickly realized she couldn't give 100% of herself to both of those things simultaneously. So after Rachel received her first 'C' in her life, in "Auditioning Methods" no less, she decided that she would wait until graduating to pursue Broadway.
But other than that, Rachel, who had always prided herself on her many talents, couldn't come up with a single thing that she brought to the table.
She didn't cook, she was terribly messy, and she was whiny when she didn't get her way. She was admittedly self-consumed, usually forgetting to ask about other people and their lives. She definitely didn't have the best sense of fashion, though Quinn had been trying to fix that for the past few years. She didn't like going out to night clubs, so she was never the life of the party when Quinn did manage to drag her out after 10pm.
She tossed her textbook aside and decided not to list out all of the things she didn't have or do and decided instead to list out what she did do well. What she did bring to the table.
She started with Quinn's side, which was easier and less self-deprecating.
Quinn:
Excellent cook – also makes vegan dishes
She can carry a note (though she can be a bit sharp at times)
Does my laundry
And my taxes
And my hair
And my make up
She's cleanly
She's well-read
Well-mannered
Well-liked
Well-….looking
Is that a word?
No, of course not. What Rachel really meant was that Quinn was attractive. Ever since they had entered their teens, Rachel had been jealous of her best friend's looks. Even before high school, when they weren't yet allowed to wear makeup, Quinn still managed to be the most beautiful girl in school. And when Quinn turned 16 and was finally allowed to date, it was no surprise to Rachel that boys were lined up around the block. But while Quinn was definitely interested in their affections, she had never once ditched plans with Rachel for a guy or a date. Because Quinn was loyal.
Rachel jotted that down too with about 20 more of Quinn's most redeeming qualities before moving onto her own side.
Rachel:
Angels smile upon me when I sing
I can make 4 different types of salad
It was just as she was moving to write "I know all the lines to Funny Girl", that she gave up entirely.
She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. As she thought of her poorly made lists, she realized that this wasn't fair.
It hit her that if they were to get married, Quinn would do more for her than she could ever do for Quinn.
But what could she do about that? What could she do to be better for Quinn? How could she be better for Quinn? What did Quinn want from her anyway?
So many questions to which Rachel had no answer. And she decided there was only one way to find out.
So here she was, subtly asking Quinn what she wanted out of Rachel.
They were sitting on the couch facing each other with a note pad in both their laps.
Quinn had her lower lip in between her teeth and was staring at the ceiling thinking.
"Okay, okay, I got one. I don't mind making dinner obviously, BUT I'm sick of grocery shopping! So that can be your responsibility."
Rachel laughs and looks up from her own list.
"Seriously? That's your first demand?!" Quinn shrugs. "Okay fine…I'll do any grocery shopping, but don't complain if there's no meat in my basket." Rachel smirks.
Quinn glares at her but says nothing. Rachel threatens to strip Quinn of meat products often, so she feels no need to take this seriously.
"Alright, here's mine: I would like you to really start doing the laundry. I've never told you as much, but I hate laundry."
Rachel looks up from her pad in shock.
"What?! Quinn, in the 3 years we've been on our own, you didn't think to tell me this? You've been doing double the laundry all this time and silently hating me for it?!"
Rachel sounds so absolutely scandalized at this revelation that it's comical. That's why Quinn can't stop herself from spilling the next bit of information, just to see Rachel's response.
"Well, actually….I've never done laundry a day in my life. Annie comes by once every two weeks, while you're in Dance 4, and she does it for me."
Rachel is speechless. Annie? Sweet Annie who'd worked for the Fabrays since Quinn was 4 was doing their laundry and apparently always had been?
"QUINN! Are you kidding me?! You make Annie come all this way to do our laundry?"
Quinn scoffs at this.
"Oh please. Like she's so inconvenienced. She literally takes the helicopter Rachel. It's a 2 hour flight every other week and she's never told me as much but I'm pretty sure she stays for an extra day to shop or catch a show. Surely on my father's dime. So let's not pity her."
Rachel laughs lightly.
Quinn is probably right. Annie had managed to wrap the Fabrays around her finger long, long ago.
If Rachel recalls correctly, when they were 10, Quinn and her parents took a trip to Austria for a family vacation and though there was no reason to do so, they took Annie with them. Even Rachel didn't get to go on that particular trip, but Annie had somehow managed to convince Russell that she would be needed while they were away. According to Quinn, she wasn't needed at all. In fact, she had apparently shopped and dined the days away, all on Russell Fabray's dime.
"Well, geez! Nevermind then. Okay, I will do the laundry I guess….but umm…" Rachel tries to think of what all she would like from Quinn. There's so much that Quinn already does, but she supposes it wouldn't be bad to put everything down explicitly.
"I want you to do our taxes and manage our money. I know right now we virtually have none, but when we do, I want to make sure that it's saved and properly invested and I trust you with that."
Quinn appears flattered and nods, her cheeks blushing lightly.
"Well…thank you. Of course I'll take care of all the finances. Would you mind too much if I asked that we go out at least once a week? I know you hate going out and parties and stuff but I love it and I love going out with you and if we were married, I wouldn't feel right about just leaving you here. So just once a week Rach? For me?"
Rachel doesn't want to be forced to go out once a week. Rachel doesn't want to be forced to drink or socialize in public, especially with Quinn's friends. They're so artsy and eclectic or smart and stoic and they look at her like she's beneath them because they too come from wealthy families.
But when she looks at Quinn she can see that this is what Quinn needs, and Rachel is determined to give her that. So she acquiesces.
They continue on like this for nearly two hours. By the time Rachel suggests they order Chinese they've got ridiculous things on the pad like how Quinn is entirely in charge of decorating if/when they get a new place because she can't stand Rachel's taste in décor, but Rachel has the final say on where they move to if/when the time comes.
But because Quinn conceded to something as serious as where they create their home, she wins the argument about whether they will be an Apple or PC couple.
At one point during the debate, Quinn becomes so frustrated with the disagreement that she storms off. But Rachel, of course, follows.
"All I'm saying is that I don't understand why we even have to choose!" Quinn throws herself on her bed and screams into her pillow.
"RACHEL! We look ridiculous if you have an iPhone and a mac but I have a PC and an Xbox that I'm forced to hook up to your stupid Apple TV or whatever. It's just ridiculous and if we have people over they'll think we're fucking stupid."
Rachel still didn't understand. She didn't even know what an Xbox was. She had never even seen Quinn use such a box. And she still didn't see how any of this was relevant to the function of their relationship.
But if I don't understand it, then does it even matter to me enough to fight her on it?
No. It didn't matter to her at all. Really, none of this arguing was necessary.
So she gave in.
They would be a PC couple because according to Quinn, security wise, Windows was a better product.
And on Rachel's list at the very bottom just before they stop for dinner, she adds for the both of them that if they fight over something and the issue doesn't matter to one of them, then the person who is indifferent must give in, assuming there are no harms in doing so.
Quinn agrees easily and they both dig into dinner.
But while they're eating, Quinn brings up the question on both of their minds.
"Soooooo, when should we do this?"
Rachel doesn't need to ask her what she means.
"I don't know. I was thinking maybe we should wait until we're out of college."
Quinn nods and picks up a vegan potsticker with her chop sticks and puts in on Rachel's plate, giving her the last piece.
"Yeah, that's a good idea. We don't want this to seem out of the blue. Wanna set a date now? We could just do it after we both graduate. That way we can be married around the same time that you have to move out of your dorm? That seems most practical, you know?"
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Rachel bites her lip and looks down at the last potsticker.
"Are you sure Rach? I mean, I'm open to a discussion about it. It's your wedding too."
Quinn laughs and expects Rachel to do the same, but she doesn't. So Quinn gently puts her chop sticks down and reaches for Rachel's hands.
Up until now, she has rarely ever tried to hold Rachel's hands but lately, it just seems like the right thing to do in these moments. It also doesn't hurt that Rachel's hands are soft and warm.
Rachel allows Quinn take her hands, but refuses to look her in the eye. She's unsure of the moment that she became so unsure of herself around Quinn.
"Rachel, talk to me. What's wrong?" Rachel sighs softly and focuses on her hands in Quinn's.
"Quinn…this just… isn't how I imagined it."
Quinn opens her mouth to reply but she is cut off.
"This isn't how I imagined my future. I know it probably sounds silly to you, but I've been planning this day since I was a little girl. I imagined a beautiful white dress with a long train. I pictured this beautiful winter wonderland wedding. I pictured inviting all of my high school bullies, people like Joey and Sebastian that labeled me as this foolish, unlovable loser. I would invite them all to my big huge wedding to prove to them that there is someone out there that loves me. I imagined my fathers walking me down the aisle to a husband that I had been dating for at least a year. I imagined vows that were honest and heartfelt. I imagined something…real."
Rachel looks up at her as she says that final word.
Real.
Rachel wanted something…real.
Quinn is frozen.
She has forgotten. So many things.
She knows Rachel better than she knows anyone else and yet she has forgotten who Rachel is.
Rachel is a strong, confident woman. But only in one aspect: her work.
Outside of work, Rachel is a sweetheart. She is shy and timid. And more than anything, Rachel is real.
Rachel has never once lied about who she is. She's never lied about her passions, even when those passions included My Little Pony (10th grade) and shirts with cats wearing birthday hats (12th grade). She has never been willing to hide who she is for anyone, for any reason.
Rachel Berry has always been honest and genuine so, of course, she would have a problem with this –
This what?
This hoax, Quinn says to herself. But she can't in good conscience call this a hoax. It's just a preferable option to Quinn being alone for the rest of her life.
But more than that, spending her life with Rachel by her side is her only way to guarantee that Rachel gets everything that she deserves. It's the only way to guarantee that Rachel is happy.
So no, this isn't real. They haven't been happily dating for years. They hadn't fallen madly in love beneath the stars like Rachel had probably dreamed of. Quinn didn't come home with flowers for no other reason than being in love with Rachel. She hadn't planned a romantic night for her and Rachel so that she could propose. And she hadn't given any long speech about how she just couldn't bear to be without Rachel before begging Rachel to marry her.
No, none of this was real.
But Quinn's desire to make Rachel's dreams come true was very real and very prominent.
So, based on that, Quinn decided she could pretend. For Rachel's sake, she could pretend to care about a big fancy wedding and she could be romantic. She could create this illusion that they were a happy, normal couple if that's what Rachel wanted.
Quinn opens her mouth to say as much, but she stops herself. She imagines that telling Rachel "Yeah, I'll pretend to be in love with you to make this shit seem real" will not help the situation.
Quinn realizes that the only way that she can possibly give Rachel what she's looking for is to play the part of the loving fiancée. And she can't tell Rachel that's what she's doing because then it won't feel real. She just has to do it.
Alright, just act like you're into all of this. Anything to make it feel real for her. You can do that.
Quinn looks up at Rachel and squeezes her hands.
"Rachel, my love for you is real. And what we have is real…in its own way. So don't think that just because we've agreed to this that you mean nothing to me. I care about what you want here. We're doing this so that we can both have what we want, so if you want a huge winter wedding in 30 degree weather, let's do it. If you want to invite high school bullies, or Madge the janitor, or the fucking pope, let's do it!" Rachel laughs gently and squeezes Quinn's hands in her own.
Quinn is encouraged by this and moves her hand so that their fingers lace together.
Perfectly, Rachel and Quinn both note.
"My point is that this is your wedding. Your fathers are still going to walk you down the aisle, you can still wear the white dress, and we can still do our own vows. Whatever you want Rach, I want. So tell me, when do you want to get married?"
Rachel strokes her thumb over Quinn's hands gently as she mulls over the question.
"Well, seeing as this is going to be our anniversary every year, I just want to pick something special. Unfortunately, we don't have a date that we started dating or a date when you first told me you loved me or anything so we need something that holds meaning for us."
Quinn takes one hand back so that she can resume eating, and considers all the dates that are important to them.
"What about the day we graduated high school? That was kind of a big deal."
Rachel's look of disgust makes it perfectly clear to Quinn that graduation isn't good enough.
"Ooookay," Quinn prepares to try again, but Rachel cuts her off with excitement. "Oh! Quinn! What about the time we went to our first Broadway show? That was fun, right?"
Quinn shrugs, "Yeah, that was fun, but do you seriously want to tell people 'We picked this date to get married because we saw our first Broadway show on the same date'? That's so cheesy! And it's not special for both of us, really…just you." Quinn is apprehensive to say the last part because after vowing to do anything to make Rachel happy, she feels like turning down her ideas directly contradicts that.
But Rachel agrees with her easily, unoffended.
"Yes, I suppose you are right." Rachel and takes a bite of rice.
The both eat their last few bites in silence deep in thought. When they're both finished, Quinn gets off the couch and collects their trash to toss it away.
At this point, it's almost 10pm and both girls begin to prepare for bed without much discussion.
The routine is familiar as they both prepare to end their day. They move around each other effortlessly, sharing the bathroom and sink space.
As Rachel places her toothbrush back in its holder, Quinn lays in bed pretending to read, but really too focused on trying to think of a date. Trying to think of something special that they'd shared together.
Rachel crawls in on her side and turns off her light while Quinn leaves hers on, as she always does, so she can read a chapter of her most recent book before bed.
Rachel would like to sleep, but she too is kept up trying to find a date. There has to be something that they've shared together in the course of 21 years, she thinks.
Just as Rachel is preparing to give up and succumb to sleep, Quinn gently calls out to her.
"Rach?"
"Mmm?" She turns to face Quinn's side of the bed.
"Remember that time in high school when my parents wanted to go on vacation to Montreal for a week but couldn't because I would've been home alone?"
For a moment, Rachel has no idea what Quinn is talking about. But then, she remembers. She remembers and the memories come back so quickly and fill her with so much warmth that she asks herself how she could've possibly forgotten about that week.
"Of course I remember. They wanted to go so badly and eventually we convinced them to just go without you. But they insisted that because you were 'just 16', they wanted someone to stay with you."
"So of course, I chose you." Quinn finishes.
"And so the whole week, we were virtually on our own. We ordered take out and watched movies and played karaoke the whole week! And Annie was supposed to check in on us every day but she actually only came by once so we never did anything productive after school!" Rachel says as she sits up and leans against the headboard of the bed and turns towards Quinn.
"Hey hey! We also managed to knuckle down and do homework!" Quinn says indignantly.
"Oh my gosh! Quinn!" Rachel reaches out and pushes Quinn's shoulder playfully. "No! I did the homework and you copied off me!"
"Okay! But the point is," Rachel is laughing so loudly that Quinn has to almost yell over her but she doesn't mind. In fact, she's laughing as well at their teenage antics. "THE POINT RACHEL is that we spent that whole week together and on Friday night, our last night alone, you looked over at me and do you remember what you said to me?"
Quinn looks over at Rachel, who's wiping the tears from her eyes from laughing so hard. She shakes her head "no".
"You said…you said 'This week was the best. Staying up late with you, watching movies, being silly all the time, just the two of us.'" Just as Rachel recovers, she finds herself laughing again at Quinn's nasally, excited voice that is supposed to be hers.
"And then…" Quinn waits until their laughing subsided, "Then you laid your head on my shoulder and said 'I could do this forever'. And I said—"
But Rachel remembers now. And Rachel knows exactly what Quinn said next. And so she finishes Quinn's sentence for her.
"You said, 'Oh yeah. That would be a dream come true.'" Rachel almost whispers.
"And it is Rach." She doesn't break eye contact with her as she reaches out for Rachel's hand. She finds it and immediately intertwines their fingers together. "Getting to spend my life with you, in its own special way, is a dream come true."
Rachel blushes and moves over to lean her head on Quinn's shoulders, like she did so many years ago on Quinn's couch when they had a similar conversation.
"And do you remember what day that was Rachel?"
Rachel tries to think of the day. She tries to remind herself of the surroundings and what they were doing and what the weather was like and then she remembers. Why Quinn's parents left town in the first place.
"Oh my gosh, it was Valentine's Day." Rachel giggles, turning her face into Quinn's shoulder smelling her pajama shirt, which is really just one of Rachel's NYADA shirts. It smells of fabric softener and Quinn.
"Yup, February 14th."
Rachel and Quinn have never had a boyfriend for Valentine's Day. They also never asked anyone to be their date for Valentine's Day. In elementary school, the whole class was their valentine, as they were forced to make everyone feel included. A rule that Rachel always appreciated. In high school, they spent the day watching everyone else get gifts from their significant others while taking bets on how much longer the relationships were going to last, then in college they always ordered in and spent the evening together.
So, it only seemed right that they would continue this tradition.
"How does that sound, Rach? Be my forever Valentine?"
Rachel squeezes her hand and nods. "Absolutely. Would you be my forever Valentine Quinn Fabray?"
"It would be a dream come true." Quinn leans over and gently kisses Rachel's cheek. Hoping that she was doing a good job making it all feel real for Rachel.
Rachel blushes again and attempts to get her mind off of the warm lips pressed against her cheeks by changing the subject.
"Sooooo, we have one more date to decide on…."
Quinn leans over to turn off her own light and lay her book on the nightstand. It's obvious not much reading is going to get done tonight.
"Yeah, what's next? Bring it on!"
"When do we tell our parents? And by our, I mean, yours…"
Quinn can hear the smirk in Rachel's voice as falls back against her pillow. And gives out a long, "Fuuuuuuck".
#######
Next up: Telling the Parents! If you enjoyed it, let me know! Suggestions and criticisms always welcome! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You guys are awesome! Until next time! :D
Chapter 3: They Don't Know About Us
Chapter Text
Quinn expects the worst. And gets something even crueler than that.
She expects her parents to be surprised. She expects them to need some time to come around. She expects so much, but receives so very little.
There is silence. For several minutes, the room is silent and the tension is palpable.
She wants to flee. She wants to cower away from her father's unapproving eyes and run and hide in her room, like she used to when she was a child in trouble.
Not that she was in trouble often.
Quinn would never say her father was strict. She would never consider him a hardened man. In fact, he was always quite the opposite. Loving, kind, forever doting upon his only daughter.
And if asked who played the greatest role in her life growing up, she wouldn't think twice about naming him as opposed to her mother, or even Annie, who had been around for as long as Quinn could remember to keep her well fed and clean and clothed.
She could never understand why she chose him as her greatest influence when he hadn't even been there to teach her to ride a bike, or swim, or any of the other things Quinn supposed dads taught their daughters. Yet, despite his many absences, she looked to him first. For advice, for approval, for guidance and support. But she could never figure why that was.
But now she knows. Now she understands. The reason why he's had such great influence, the reason why he's played such a pivotal role in her development is because her life is built on his influence.
Quinn has never felt a pressure to impress him because it has always been a pre-established, unspoken agreement between them. Quinn was created to follow in her father's footsteps in every conceivable way.
Russell had subtly hinted at this when he signed four year old Quinn up for piano against her wishes, much like he was at a young age. But she had learned to love it, so she had never harbored ill feelings towards him over it.
He had sent her to the exact same private school, known for its commitment to academic excellence, even after she expressed her interest in public school with Rachel. But he had also paid for Rachel to gain an education there as well, so she was happy to go. She had many of the same teachers as him, except they were older and probably even sterner, but she can't deny that they played a monumental part in her getting accepted to MIT.
She cheered for the same Excelsior Falcons football team that her father had played for during his four years of high school and those were the best years of her life. And though she turned down MIT, her father's Alma Mater, she was still obtaining a degree in Business and Economics from NYU, just like him.
She had even gone a step further and double majored in Comparative Literature, but he had yet to even acknowledge that accomplishment.
She supposed he never would. Especially not after this.
"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you Quinn. You're intending to do what?"
Quinn recognizes this tone. Though she is often very accommodating to her father's wishes, sometimes when they butt heads, he brings out this warning tone. He is giving her one chance to re-evaluate her statement. One chance to think twice about what's she's saying and what consequences may ensue if she continues along this dangerous path.
At this point, Quinn would usually take it back. She would backtrack and give her father something he wanted to hear about how it was all a joke. How she had actually met a nice, handsome man whom her father would greatly approve of.
But that would hardly be the truth. The truth is
"Rachel and I are getting married."
Her father stares at her for only a second longer before he picks up his fork and knife and resumes his meal. The sound of cutlery clinking against the plates is loud in the dining room. But Ms. Fabray breaks that silence shortly after and resumes eating herself.
"Wow! I…I didn't realize you two were…involved." It's obvious to Quinn that her mother does not know what to say. She wants to be supportive, that much is evident in her light tone, but she isn't sure how to go about conveying that support because this is all so sudden. Her mother says as much.
"This all seems so out of the blue. But, a congratulations is still in order!" Mrs. Fabray smiles widely and Quinn can tell that, though she is confused and surprised, she is determined to make up for her husband's lack of excitement and general interest.
She nearly slams down her fork and claps her hands as she yells, "Annie! ANNIE! Bring us a bottle of champagne! The Bollinger we received for Christmas! And four glasses!"
"Oh, Mrs. Fabray, that's not necessary!" Rachel tries to stop her from wasting what is surely a thousand dollar bottle of champagne on their sham of a wedding, but she will hear nothing of it.
"Nonsense! I have only one daughter and she's getting married! To such a lovely young lady, no less! Oh! ANNIE!"
Just as she yells again, Annie comes from the kitchen with a bottle and four glasses, as requested. She gently pops the bottle open and pours a half glass for everyone. She distributes the glasses, thanked by only Rachel and Quinn as usual, then she stands back as Judy prepares to make a toast.
"To my darling girls, I am so happy that you found each other! And though this comes as a complete surprise, I wish you a marriage as happy and everlasting as my own!"
Quinn almost snorts but Rachel reaches for Quinn's hand quickly and squeezes it as a sort of warning, a way of telling her that she shouldn't upset the only parent that seems to be supporting this decision.
They all lift their glasses, even Russell, and they take a drink.
The rest of dinner passes quickly but not quietly, with her mother chiming in asking nonstop questions regarding the wedding.
Quinn and Rachel take turns answering them, and Quinn has to admit, though her father is clearly displeased, her mother's excitement starts to rub off on her.
But then that excitement dies because her next question catches both Quinn and Rachel off guard.
"It may be none of my business, but I just have to know! When did all of this start?"
Rachel stops chewing. Quinn stops breathing.
Quinn looks up and finds both her mother and her father awaiting an answer. She looks over at Rachel. Lost. And Rachel takes that as her cue.
"Well, I don't want to speak for Quinn, but I would say that this has been a long time coming. I fell in love with her so long ago that I can't even pinpoint the moment, but I just never realized it."
Quinn is impressed and relieved. Rachel is handling this just fine. She just has to listen and nod. Because Rachel is doing great.
"But we officially started dating about a month ago."
Quinn freezes. She has praised Rachel too soon.
They hadn't really had the forethought to discuss a "story" for their relationship. Quinn didn't think about any of that in advance, and if Rachel did, she certainly didn't mention it.
A few moments ago, having a pre-established story was unnecessary.
But now? Now, Rachel has messed up everything with that one sentence.
She's afraid to take her eyes off of Rachel. She's terrified to turn her head and look into her father's eyes. Because she knows exactly what she'll find.
Doubt. Distrust. Disbelief.
And she knows she's right when her father finally speaks up.
"One month, you say? Then it seems sudden to be thinking of marriage."
Rachel doesn't skip a beat. Probably because she doesn't recognize this particular tone of Russell Fabray. Otherwise, she would be as frozen as Quinn.
"Oh, I know! That's what I said when she proposed, but…then I realized that we've already known each other for 21 years. How many fiancées can say that?" Rachel looks over at Quinn smiling to confirm that she's doing this right, but she notices her pale skin and furrowed brow.
She tries to catch Quinn's eyes, but they're glossy and staring at her plate.
Judy coos again and proceeds to ask Rachel more questions about their wedding plans.
Rachel wants a winter wedding.
Rachel wants 3 bridesmaids.
Rachel wants a tropical honeymoon.
Rachel wants to move into a nice apartment in Manhattan.
Quinn just wants to die.
She thinks that she has almost escaped. She thinks that because of the late hour after dinner, she will be able to avoid being pulled aside by her father.
But just as she yawns and prepares to tell her mother and father that they should head to bed, Russell requests her presence in his office. When Judy asks where they are going, he wraps his arm around Quinn shoulder, smiling broadly and asks,
"Can't a father pull his daughter aside for a congratulatory drink?" Rachel and Judy just laugh and go back to their second glass of champagne, unsuspecting.
Once the ladies are out of sight, he drops his arm from around her and leads the way to his office.
It smells faintly of cigars and usually Quinn finds this comforting but today, as Russell closes the door behind them, she is terrified. She feels trapped.
He says nothing, but pulls out two glasses and pours a shot of scotch into each one.
He scoots one gently towards her and though she has no intention of drinking with him, she doesn't want to anger him unnecessarily, so she picks up the glass and sits across from him on the other side of the large oak desk.
He takes his first shot and pours another before sitting as well.
Quinn waits quietly, not wanting to be the first to speak. She doesn't have to wait long.
"What the hell do you think you're doing Quinn?"
He sounds exhausted, not angry.
But a chill falls over the room nonetheless. A tension fills the air.
Does she play dumb? Or does she meet him in the middle and address the issue head on?
"What do you mean, dad?"
Okay, play dumb it is.
But he sighs deeply and she realizes playing dumb is the absolute wrong approach. Now he is angry.
"What are you doing marrying Rachel?"
So, that's the issue. She can work with this. She has prepared for this in her head. She expected her father to question her sudden taste for women, and she has come up with the perfect speech to ward off any oncoming homophobia.
But as she opens her mouth to spew said speech, her brain stops her. Because it has picked up on something after the fact that she did not catch immediately.
Her father had emphasized the word "Rachel". Not "marrying" to suggest that this was all happening too fast, but "Rachel".
He isn't asking why she's marrying a girl, he's asking why she's marrying Rachel.
Quinn is at once offended and her tone reflects it. "I love her. So I asked her to marry me."
Russell sighs.
"Quinn, listen, I understand you and Rachel are friends, and truthfully, I adore her. But…she's not the kind of girl you marry."
He almost sounds sorry to have to say it. But that doesn't make it better. In fact, Quinn is actually more offended than she was previously. Except this time, she's offended on Rachel's behalf.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
There is an edge to her voice that Russell has never heard before. He takes a drink.
Quinn thinks that they shouldn't be having this conversation while he's drinking, but there's nothing she can do to stop it from taking place. He's started the ball rolling and she has no control over it now.
"Quinn, you know what I mean. Voicing it aloud just seems cruel."
This confirms that Quinn is right. Her father has a problem with Rachel specifically. That doesn't sit well with Quinn at all.
"No dad. If there's something wrong with my fiancé, I would like to know." She's surprised that the word fiancé comes out so naturally because this is her first time saying it aloud. But the whole sentence comes out crystal clear and her voice doesn't waver once, which surprises the both of them.
Russell decides that if she's going to force his hand then she will have to hear the hard truth.
"Well Quinn, if you want me to perfectly honest, she's hardly who I would've chosen for you myself. Aside from the fact that she's a woman, which I can overlook, she comes from a middle class family and was raised by two fathers, she has…lofty goals at best. I mean, she has no real plans for her future. And she has a degree in…what is it? Dancing around and singing? Where on earth is that going to get her?" Russell must see the absolute anger on Quinn's face because he attempts to clean up his tirade.
"She's a lovely girl Quinn, honestly. But she doesn't compare to you. And I'm speaking objectively here, not as your father. She just doesn't measure up. Her successes, if any, will be miniscule in comparison to what you will accomplish. And of course, marriage is about equality. You need someone of your same caliber."
He takes another drink and realizes, unfortunately, that what was meant to make Quinn feel better has possibly angered her more.
"Dad, how can you say that?! You've seen her sing! She's already better than half the people on Broadway, even without the degree! All she needs to do is catch one producer's eye and she's golden!" Quinn yells, flailing her arms around in disbelief.
Russell scoffs and swishes his drink around.
"And how long do you intend to take care of her before she "catches someone's eye"?" He sneers at her, angered by her audacity to yell at him.
She hears the emphasis on the words and is enraged.
"You know that's not what I mean! She's talented and—"
Russell nearly slams his glass down and runs his hands over his face in frustration.
"And WHAT Quinn? Are you really going to support Rachel until she hopefully finds her way? Are you really going to show up to the Entrepreneur's Gala with a singer on your arm? Do you know how silly that sounds?"
Quinn is tired of this conversation. She is angry. Offended. And hurt.
Russell has known Rachel since birth. He has taken both girls to the park to play, waited for them at the bottom of every "big kid" slide. He has soothed Rachel's fears when she cried while staying at Quinn's house overnight for the very first time.
How can he speak as if he doesn't know Rachel at all? How can he speak as if Quinn has just brought home a random girl he has never met before?
Of all the scenarios she anticipated, she didn't expect this.
This time, when she speaks, she can't keep the emotion out of her voice.
"Yes dad. I do intend to support her, financially, emotionally, whatever she needs to make her dreams come true. And yes, I absolutely intend to take her with me to all of those stupid galas. And when they ask me who she is and what she does, I will proudly tell them that my wife is a Broadway Star. I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm not ashamed of Rachel. She makes me happy, dad! Genuinely happy! She takes care of me and she supports my dreams, even if she doesn't understand economics and probably has no idea what base pointing pricing is! Even if she can't cook or clean to save her life! I love her! And I think it's really fucking low of you to tell me that marriage is about equality when I can't remember the last time you let mom have a say around here."
His upper lip twitches angrily and she knows she should probably stop because she's venturing into dangerous territory, but these words are brewing beneath the surface, and possibly always have been, and they're spewing out like vomit. She couldn't stop if she wanted to.
"I can't remember the last time she did something meaningful around here. You keep her in this huge fucking house and you let her paint the walls and have her book club over but she doesn't work, she doesn't have any money, or any reason to leave this hell-hole without you! You aren't equal dad, you know it, I know it, and she probably knows it! And you know what? I hope to God my marriage isn't anything like yours. Because maybe then, Rachel and I will have a shot at actual happiness."
"Happiness Quinn? You've been dating her for a month." He points his glass towards the office door.
"Do you really think that that girls cares about anything other than your money? She's going to ride on your coattails all the way to the big stage and leave when a better opportunity comes along and if you think I'm wrong, then you're fooling yourself Quinn."
Quinn has lowered her head, out of what he believes to be resignation to the truth. But really, the truth is that she can't bear to listen to another lie that falls out of his mouth.
She doesn't believe a word that he says because no one is more loyal than Rachel Berry. No one is more committed than Rachel Berry. And whether or not this marriage and this life together is a good idea, she knows that Rachel is going to stick this out. They both are.
And then it occurs to Quinn that this conversation is moot. It won't change anything. Her father is not likely to change his mind. And she can't change hers.
So she stands. Places the glass back on the table. And cuts her father off.
"And proposing a month into the relations—"
"Dad stop."
He finally looks at her and sees that she's standing. Not one to be outdone, he stands as well.
"I know you're worried dad. I get it. But you obviously don't know her like I do. I'm marrying her. And if you choose to come support us, that would be amazing. If not, then I'll be sure to send you and mom pictures and whatnot. You can hang them up or burn them for all I care."
She can't help but tear up over the fact that her parents may not come to her wedding, but she blinks back the tears and presses forward, determined not to look weak. She won't give him the satisfaction of seeing her like this.
She starts heading towards the door and prepares to say goodnight when he is the one to cut her off.
"Quinn, if you marry her, fine. If you want to lower your standards and spend your life with her, fine. I can't stop you. But I sure as hell won't be footing the bill for a wedding, just to have to pay for the divorce as well."
It takes Quinn almost a full minute to realize that her father has tried to use money to entice her into siding with him. He has taken something away from her that he knows will make it difficult to follow through with what Rachel has described as her dream wedding in an attempt to get her to reevaluate this decision.
He expects her to think twice about leaving or following through with the engagement.
He is sorely disappointed, however.
She resolves yet again not to let her anger, or worse her sadness, show.
"Fine dad. We'll pay for it ourselves."
This is not at all what he's expecting. He was expecting a fight. Quinn has always been a fighter.
So to spur on such a fight, he says the only thing he can think of.
"If you turn your back on me Quinn, that's it. You can't come back begging me for money or a job or for sympathy when you realize I was right all along. If you leave, don't bother asking me for a damn thing."
He too is experiencing an awful case of word vomit. He hardly means what he's saying. He doesn't want to do this. He loves Quinn. He doesn't want to push her away, he just wants her to see reason.
But he's too prideful to take it back now.
She barely pauses before opening the door. She turns around to look him in the eye one last time and says with a tone of finality, "Don't worry dad. We won't."
She checks the living room where she last saw Rachel and her mother, but she finds no one. So she heads up the stairs, taking them two at a time. When she gets to her old childhood bedroom, she again finds no one. She's about to turn around and look elsewhere, when she hears gurgling from the bathroom.
She heads that way hastily and runs right into Rachel who's exiting the bathroom with her pajamas on.
Rachel shrieks and Quinn laughs lightly at Rachel.
"Just me Rach, just me!" Rachel rests one hand over her chest to calm her thumping heart and uses the other to playfully push Quinn in the shoulder.
"Quinn, you scared the day lights out of me! You should announce yourself!"
She's yelling, but there's a playful smile on her face. Until she sees Quinn's face. Her lips are tilted upwards in a small smile, but her eyes are a different story.
"Sorry, I just—" But the tears that Quinn has been holding back, the emotion that she's worked so hard to keep inside in front her father, all of it threatens to come flooding out of her, so she takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling.
"Quinn, are you okay?"
She shakes her head no, but when she fails to respond verbally, Rachel places both of her hands on her cheeks and forces Quinn to look at her. And when they make eye contact, it's just as Rachel feared. Quinn looks lost. Quinn, who is usually so stoic for the both of them, is clearly on the brink of tears.
"Quinn? Talk to me. What did he say?"
She was afraid of this from the moment Russell failed to properly congratulate them at the table. Rachel knew that him pulling Quinn aside would be bad, but he has never made her cry. She is desperate to know what transpired behind closed doors, but Quinn gives nothing away.
Instead Quinn turns away before she can fall apart in Rachel's arms.
Rachel hardly has time to register that Quinn has left the threshold of the restroom when she is speaking again.
"Get your stuff together Rachel. We're leaving." That…is not what Rachel was expecting to hear.
"W-what? Why would we leave? And where are we going Quinn? It's almost midnight. It's way past my bedtime actually and I really do need to rest my vocal—"
"You can sleep in the car Rachel. But we are not staying here," Quinn snaps.
Her tone is angry and final and Rachel almost refuses as a matter of principle because she is asked so harshly, but then Quinn whispers "Please Rach." And she knows that this isn't her Quinn talking. This is Mr. Fabray's doing. He has said something, done something to make her like this.
So she obliges.
She haphazardly packs up her suitcase that is far too heavy for just a weekend getaway. She doesn't even bother changing out of her pajamas. It's obvious by the way that Quinn is standing by the door with her bag and purse slung over her shoulder that she's eager to escape these stiffing walls. She's eager to be anywhere but here.
When Rachel quietly says she's ready, Quinn looks up from her phone and approaches Rachel to take her suitcase.
"Okay, let's go. I texted Annie and she said we can borrow her car. We'll stay at a hotel tonight and leave first thing in the morning."
Rachel nods, but says nothing as they make their way down the spiraling stairs. There is no one around. Not a sound to be heard. Rachel wonders briefly if Mrs. Fabray is aware of whatever has taken place. She wonders if she is talking to her husband about it now, pleading with him to apologize. Or maybe she's just silently letting here family fall apart, saying nothing, as usual.
She may not even know, Rachel thinks. Which prompts her to tell Quinn as the reach the foyer, "We should leave a note. For your mom. I don't want her to worry."
Quinn rolls her eyes, but acknowledges that Rachel is probably right so she reaches into her purse for a pen. She finds a piece of mail on the table and quickly jots down a note as Rachel slips on her flats.
Mom,
Rach and I left. We're headed back to NY. I can't stay somewhere that my fiancé isn't welcome. I love you and I hope to see you for graduation.
Quinn doesn't second guess the next part, ready to be done with her father. For good. She scribbles hastily because she knows that if she doesn't hurry, Rachel will wander over to see what's taking her so long.
Dad,
I won't be sorry for loving Rachel or choosing her to be my wife. I can never be sorry for that. I'm just sorry that you won't get to share the memories with us on our big day. But you're wrong about her dad. She's going to make it. And I'm going to be right by her side when she does. And we're going to do it all without you.
Quinn
She reads over the note one final time, then puts the pen back in her purse. But as she does, her credit card catches her eye.
Well, not hers exactly. And with so much anger and hurt coursing through her, if it isn't 100% hers, Quinn realizes she doesn't want it. She takes out both of her credit cards.
One is for leisure and the other is for emergencies, but both are attached to her father's accounts, so she wraps them up with the note.
She turns to Rachel and gives her a nod. Rachel extends her hand for Quinn to take and she doesn't hesitate to grab it. They grab Annie's keys from the hook labeled with her name and make their way out of the garage door to the right of the front door.
They find Annie's Lexus easily, surely a gift from her father, which makes her almost want to take a cab. Rachel climbs in the passenger seat as Quinn puts their bags in the trunk. She climbs in as well and neither one speaks as Quinn backs out of the garage.
They drive out of the Cambridge suburb and head towards JFK. She knows there are several hotels near Harvard University and heads that way.
She reaches over and blindly grabs Rachel's hand. Rachel turns from the window and looks at their fingers laced together.
She wants to break the silence but she knows that Quinn uses the silence to think. She isn't as intimidated by the quiet as Rachel.
But as they're sitting at a light, Rachel can't take it anymore. She has to speak. But what comes out, though true, isn't at all what she had in mind.
"I don't know what your father said to you Quinn but know that I really do love you. And I don't regret doing this."
Quinn can't help the tears that follow. She doesn't speak. She can't.
How does Rachel always manage to say exactly what she needs to hear?
Quinn has, at this point, less than $4,000 to her name. She has no clear future, as she is certain her father won't be inviting her to work at Fabray Industries now. She has no way of supporting herself long term, let alone Rachel. But she has Rachel. And that seems to outweigh everything.
She feels Rachel's soft warm lips press against her hand and she swears that a weight is lifted off of her shoulders. The light turns green but she doesn't move. There is no one behind her. There is no rush.
So she stares at Rachel for a moment. Drinking her in. Her sleepy brown eyes and her hair that's already braided, ready for bed. Her silk pajamas, with a top to match the pants. Her gold flats on her tiny feet that in no way match the outfit. A red scarf around her neck to "protect her vocal chords" from the night's chill.
Quinn realizes that she can't wait to marry Rachel. She can't wait to call this hot mess her own.
And just to spite her father, Quinn decides that not only are they going to be just fine without him, but they are going to thrive. But as she thinks that, she realizes that they won't thrive if they spend even one night at the Charleston, one of the more expensive hotels in the area. She pulls out of the valet area and back onto the street.
"Where are we going now?" Rachel is sleepy and she's becoming whiny. Quinn decides now is a terrible time to tell Rachel that she's been cut off/cut herself off from her father's billions.
"Rach, one day I promise I'm going to show you all the finer things in life. But tonight…I'm going to show you what a motel 6 looks like."
Rachel rips her hand out of Quinn's and turns her entire body to face Quinn.
"OH DEAR GOD! LUCY QUINN FABRAY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
Quinn lets out a loud laugh at her dramatics as Rachel bangs her head on the window.
If all of this turns out to be a mistake, it'll be the best mistake she's ever made.
###################
I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, your comments always make my day.
Title by One Direction
Chapter 4: Love Me Like You Do
Chapter Text
"So we're poor?" Rachel says with such disdain. But Quinn quickly reminds her, "Not we, just…me."
She laughs nervously hoping that will lighten the rather heavy mood.
Quinn has just dropped the bomb that Russell Fabray will no longer be funding their wedding. Or their lives, for that matter.
Rachel is sitting at her desk in her dorm doing homework that has accumulated over the weekend as Quinn lays on Rachel's bed, playing on her phone.
Rachel sighs deeply. "I'm 50% of our we, Quinn. So I'm 50% poor?" Quinn looks over at Rachel to gauge her seriousness.
Ironically enough, she looks 50% serious/50% joking.
Quinn turns on her side and props her head up with her right arm.
"Rachel, really, you don't have to worry about the money. I'm in charge of the money stuff, remember?"
"Yes, but Quinn, I think it's vital that we have a discussion about what to do now that we're on our own. Now that we don't have your father to fall back on, I just worry that—"
Quinn falls back onto the bed and sighs loudly, clearly frustrated.
"Rachel okay! I get it! I fucked this up for us and this throws a wrench in everything, but I'm going to fix it, okay?! This is like the third time you've brought him up and it's getting super annoying. "
Quinn closes her eyes tightly to keep from crying and places her arm over her eyes so that Rachel can't see.
She keeps her eyes closed and focuses on her breathing, but soon feels a weight on top of her. Rachel is straddling her waist and she pulls her arms away from her eyes which forces Quinn to look straight up at her.
"Quiiiiiin. Listen, I'm not mad at you, I'm not blaming you. I just need a plan. We need a plan."
"But what if I don't have a plan, Rach?" Quinn sounds so helpless.
Rachel wants so badly to make it better.
She stretches her legs out over Quinn's and lays her body down next to Quinn's. She places her head next to Quinn's on her own pillow, snuggles up to Quinn and wraps her arm around her waist.
Quinn instinctively lets her arm wrap itself around Rachel's shoulder to keep her close.
They've been in this position before, but it's never felt this real or this…intimate.
"It's okay Quinn. I understand that your part of the deal means handling the financial stuff, but that doesn't mean we can't talk about it. It doesn't mean you have to solve every problem yourself. It just means that you get the final say about what we do with our money. But normal couples still talk. And that's what we have to start thinking of ourselves as, a normal couple."
Quinn turns her head towards Rachel and lifts her left hand to clear the hair from Rachel's face.
"Yeah? And what does being a normal couple look like?"
Rachel grabs Quinn's hand and laces their fingers together.
"It looks like this. But all the time. 24/7. We're going to spend the rest of our lives doing this, so we might as well get used to it. So we hold hands, and kiss for no reason at all, and we call each other cute names."
"Okay, okay. And does being a normal couple also include speaking up for each other at disgusting times?"
Rachel looks up at Quinn, slightly confused.
"Well, of course you would speak up for me and defend my honor—"
Quinn laughs softly and brushes her thumb over Rachel's hand.
"No Rach, I mean like, when one of your Broadway friends invites us out to dinner and says "Hey, try this hotdog Rachel", do I then speak up and say 'Oh, she doesn't eat meat', like all the other gross normal couples?"
Rachel laughs aloud at this, knowing that Quinn is entirely kidding. They have discussed on several occasions after an evening out with friends and their significant others about how unnecessary it is for the boyfriend or girlfriend to chime in on the other person's behalf. But she indulges Quinn anyway.
"Oh yes! In fact, I would expect you to take the offered hotdog and fling it across the room."
Quinn snorts.
"I'll do you one better, I'll see your hotdog flinging and I'll raise you. I'll bop whoever it is on the head with said hotdog and then we'll storm out of the establishment together."
Rachel swoons.
"My hero."
Quinn kisses her on the top of the head.
As she pulls away, Rachel leans up and Quinn thinks that she's going to kiss her, but she shocks Quinn when she licks her chin.
Quinn immediately pulls away, disgusted as she wipes her wet chin.
"What the hell was that?!" She's yelling, but she's laughing along with Rachel.
"Come on, normal couples do that all the time!" Quinn is slack jawed.
"Um, that is definitely not a thing!" Rachel smirks.
"Well, it is now! I am officially instituting it as a relationship thing we do!"
Quinn squints her eyes mischievously and Rachel sits up and puts up her hands.
"Now Quinn, let's be rational about this…"
"Hey Rach," Rachel recognizes this tone as sly and playful and knows that nothing good can come of this. She starts to inch away from Quinn off the bed.
"You know what else normal couples do?" Quinn scoots off the bed and walks towards Rachel as she backs away, "They have tickle fights Rachel. And I think we are looooong overdue."
Before she even gets the last word out, Quinn charges for Rachel and grabs her around the waist before she can escape, flinging her into the air and gently tossing her on the bed.
She throws her body over Rachel's to hold her in place and runs her fingers along Rachel's sides as they both giggle like maniacs.
"Is this normal enough for you Rachel?!" Rachel thrashes around screaming "yes, yes" until Quinn's fingers cease their movement.
Quinn brushes her hair back from her eyes as their breathing evens out. She gathers her hair and, using the hair tie around her wrist, she puts her hair in a high ponytail.
When she's finished, Quinn notices that Rachel's hands have moved to her hips so she makes a bold move herself.
Quinn leans down, her hands on either side of Rachel's face, so that she's hovering just over Rachel's face. Their lips nearly brush as their breathing picks back up.
Rachel finds that she can't wait anymore to feel Quinn's lips so she closes the distance between them. Their lips press together gently for a few moments and Quinn prepares to pull away but Rachel follows her eagerly and deepens the kiss.
Quinn doesn't expect the force and immediately opens her mouth in surprise, but that only leads to Rachel's tongue brushing lightly against hers.
When she gets over the initial shock, she finds that she likes this. A lot.
She pushes forward herself and reaches out to explore Rachel's mouth. And the moan that Rachel emits when Quinn bites Rachel's lower lip is euphoric to Quinn's ears.
The amount of want coursing through her right now is almost frightening. She can't justify this want. No she's not in love with Rachel, but damn, Quinn thinks to herself as she pulls away and looks down at Rachel breathlessly. Rachel falls back to the pillow, a faint blush coating her cheeks.
"Wow. Quinn. Wow." Rachel is left speechless as she licks her lips.
Quinn smiles lazily.
"You're not so bad yourself. Quite the opposite actually."
Quinn lets a huff of air out. Still trying to regulate her breathing. And Rachel notices.
"Rachel Berry. Leaving girls breathless since 1993."
Rachel is smirking.
Quinn is dying in laughter.
This is their normal.
"Hey, there's a typo on page six."
"Specifics, Rach?"
"Oh, yeah, um, Clause 8. "If an when" is missing its D."
Quinn chuckles. "Ha, D"
"You can't laugh at heterosexual jokes anymore Quinn. We're lesbians now."
Quinn chuckles again.
"I'll add that to page 12 as an addendum."
Quinn makes a mental note of this change to the contract.
"You're really limiting me with that one, you know."
Rachel scoffs.
"Oh, I'll bet!" She says. But for amusement, Rachel challenges her.
"I bet you don't know single 'straight person' joke!"
"Oh, you're in for a treat!" Never one to back down from a challenge, she thinks quickly and says the first thing that comes to mind. "What did the penis say to the vagina?"
Rachel rolls her eyes at the crude language.
"I don't know, what?"
"See you next Tuesday!" Quinn laughs, but only at the atrocity of her own joke.
"Oh, come on Quinn! That's awful! It's not even funny!"
Quinn laughs at Rachel's obvious disdain for the joke.
"Well it's your fault, Rach. Ask and you shall receive." Quinn shrugs but Rachel doesn't see it. She can't.
"You know what, add that on page 12 too."
"The joke?"
Rachel rolls her eyes but Quinn doesn't see it. She can't.
"Yes Quinn. The joke." They both share a laugh at that.
After a few minutes of silence, Quinn chirps up.
"Anything else?"
"Still reading."
"Okay Rach. Jesus. This isn't 50 Shades of Grey. It's not that serious. Just sign the contract."
"I can hardly sign something I haven't read over thoroughly Quinn."
Quinn sighs. Rachel is right. Reading any contract thoroughly before signing is a must. And Rachel is nothing if not thorough.
"Yeah, okay, take your—"
"See! This is why I wanted to read it! Page 11, under contract termination, you have written "By no means and under no circumstances may this contract be terminated"….I'm not saying that either of us is leaving but…this seems like we're boxing ourselves in. What if we both mutually meet someone in 15 years?"
Quinn thinks about this for a moment. "Well, in that case, why get married at all?"
Rachel considers this. Quinn is right, if she thinks that she will meet someone in 15 years that she can trust and love wholeheartedly without any insecurities, then she really shouldn't marry Quinn.
But she doesn't forsee that at all. It's the last thing she can picture actually.
"Yeah, you're right. But still, this is so serious. What if we both agree that for some reason we want to end things? Does this mean we can't get a divorce?"
Quinn nods. "Yes, that's exactly what it means. If I were to file for divorce, you could sue me because the contract clearly forbids it. And vice versa."
"That's a little scary Quinn. I mean, we don't exactly know what the future will entail."
Quinn is growing frustrated with Rachel's second guessing. She's trying to avoid the voices in her head, but they keep murmuring that her father was right. That Rachel is planning an alternative to a life with Quinn. Maybe not now, but someday.
Before she has time to dwell too much, Rachel shrugs her shoulders and flips to the end of the contract.
"I suppose you're absolutely right, I'm not planning on leaving and neither are you, so this is fine. I trust you. And to show you some good faith, I'm going to sign this without even reading the last page."
Rachel's voice is positively scandalous and Quinn smiles into her pillow.
"Okay, so we're good then?"
Quinn reaches over to turn out her light and crawls back into her bed.
"Yes, I believe so. I've signed and with two complete signatures, that means we are officially obligated to be together forever!" Rachel sounds excited and that eases Quinn's fears.
Rachel is excited to spend her life with Quinn. And if Quinn's being perfectly honest, she is too. Being in a "relationship" with Rachel is fun and easy. Almost too easy in fact.
But again, Quinn doesn't dwell. It's nearly 1am and she's desperate to return to bed. She's been desperate since 11:30 when Rachel first called.
"Okay, then in that case. Goodnight Rach."
"Night Quinn. Oh! And thank you for answering my questions. Even though you said you were already up, I know you were in bed. So…." Rachel trails off gently.
Quinn wants to say something snarky about losing sleep, but she's too tired. And maybe, just maybe, a small part of her is enjoying the soft, genuine tone coming through the phone and she doesn't want to ruin the moment. 21 years and yet this isn't a tone Quinn Fabray is familiar with in regards to Rachel.
"You're welcome." She replies softly.
"Okay, I'll let you get back to sleep." As Quinn takes the phone away from her ear, she hears Rachel's parting words.
"Laters baby."
#######
As always, feel free to review and leave feedback! You guys are awesome!
Title by Ellie Goulding
Chapter 5: Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours)
Chapter Text
"Fly?"
"Waaaay too expensive. We're 'poor' now Rachel, remember?"
"Drive?"
"Takes too long."
"Train?"
"That's like an 18 hour ride."
How Quinn knows that offhand, she has no idea.
"Bus?"
"Even slower and I'd eat another human being before I set foot on a Greyhound bus."
"Floo powder?" Rachel's grasping at straws now. Quinn is growing frustrated.
"Too unrealistic." Quinn puts down the wooden spoon and turns the stove off. She turns towards Rachel who is sitting at the breakfast bar and leans on the counter across from her. "Rach, look, I know you would rather tell your dads in person, but it's just not feasible right now unless they come here."
"But it's such short notice and they're already coming for Christmas and graduation in May that I couldn't possibly ask them to come a third time."
"Then don't. Just wait until they get here in December. It's only a month away." Quinn goes back to fixing dinner, mumbling to herself. "I'm still confused as to why they visit us for Christmas. You guys are super Jewish."
Rachel is too disappointed to respond.
She doesn't care about Quinn's money (or lack thereof now) and she never has. But she's also never realized how much she's relied on it.
When they first moved to New York, she was constantly homesick, having never been away from her fathers for more than a week. But she had expected that. She had expected to miss them and crave their comfort and advice. She had expected the overwhelming desire to just go home.
But what she didn't expect was the absolute feeling of emptiness that filled her heart when she realized that the home she had grown up in was now occupied by a new family.
Both of her fathers were originally from Lima, Ohio and only moved to Boston for work, where they met the Fabrays. But after she graduated from high school, they moved back to their hometown. They couldn't have been more thrilled, but personally Rachel felt even lonelier.
The thought of someone else in her room. The thought of a different family sitting in the den playing board games. She wonders if they put an actual table in the living room as opposed to the baby grand piano they kept their in lieu of a place to eat.
Her fathers moving meant that her homesickness was even worse. And every time that it got to be too much, whenever she couldn't stand to be apart from them any longer, Quinn always bought them both plane tickets to Lima, Ohio.
She had done this on 3 or 4 occasions throughout the years and each time had insisted that Rachel not pay her back. She was selfless like that.
But Quinn can't afford to be selfless like that anymore. Speaking of which,
"Quinn, what are we going to do about the money situation? Forget about the wedding and whatnot, how do you intend to even pay the rent on this place?"
She hopes to God that this doesn't spark a conflict. But Quinn is calm as she responds. She sounds like she's even given this some additional thought since they last spoke about it a week ago in her dorm.
"Well, fortunately, my dad paid the rent and utilities for the school year back in August. So we're good until June." She turns towards Rachel, holding the spoon out for her to taste her latest concoction.
Rachel leans forward and opens her mouth willingly.
Whatever it is, it tastes like heaven and she moans around the spoon.
"Mmmm, what is that?"
"It's a red wine and basil sauce for the pasta. Good?"
Rachel nods, appreciating Quinn's ability to turn every dinner into a culinary masterpiece. "Amazing."
"Thank you." Quinn returns her focus on the food, but continues their previous conversation.
"In regards to the current money situation, like I've said, I have about $4,000 in my savings and about $800 in my checking. Not having rent makes it a lot easier to manage. Also, I've created a budgeting plan. If we limit ourselves to $300 for groceries and $150 for leisure activities each month, we'll have about $200 left over from our monthly allowance. Which will allow some leeway for emergencies, knock on wood." And they do. "We'll have to do our best to drive less which should save us on gas. I've found a subway that goes from my place to 31st street, just a few blocks from your dorm so that's a great alternative to waiting in traffic to drop you off in the mornings."
Rachel listens attentively and nods.
Quinn takes her silence as unhappiness. She reaches into the cabinet to grab plates and as she's doling out portions, she speaks again, trying to ease any worries Rachel may be having.
"Rach, I know you hate public transportation, but it doesn't have to be every day. Maybe we can start with once or twice a week until you get familiar with it. And, of course, I'll go with you and we'll figure it out until you get the hang of it."
Though Rachel has ridden the subway on numerous occasions, it has always been with Quinn. As much as she loves New York, as much as living here has been her dream since birth, she has to admit that even 4 years later she is still not very adept at navigating her way through the city. Quinn has always been the one to figure out which train they needed to take and how to pay and where to get off. Rachel, despite her immense attention to detail, can never seem to figure the whole system out. So this is somewhat terrifying. But since they are suddenly lower on funds, sacrifices must be made.
And though Quinn's Maserati is always her first choice, she's happy and eager to help Quinn in any way she can.
"No no. It's okay! I don't mind the subway!" Quinn grabs glasses and pours them each some water.
"You're sure? We can find another way to cut back if you're uncomfortable with the subway."
Rachel shakes her head. Quinn has done so much for her over her short lifetime. This is the least she can do for Quinn.
"No, I promise Quinn. It'll be fine. You'll show me how it works, I'll get the hang of it, and before you know it, I'll be Rachel Berry, Subway Expert."
Quinn chuckles lightly and agrees as she hands Rachel her full plate and glass as they head to the dining room table.
They eat in silence for a few minutes, with Rachel stopping periodically to praise Quinn on her excellent work in the kitchen.
"I am so glad I get to experience this cooking for the rest of my life!" Rachel moans out again.
This statement reminds Quinn of another piece of unfinished business. She gets up from the table and digs through her messenger bag for the small packet of papers and a pen.
"What is that?" Rachel inquires as Quinn sits back down.
"The contract. I've gone through and made all the requested changes. I…I also changed the part about the termination of the contract. You're absolutely right, it is a little frightening. And…I don't want you to feel tied down. We're doing this because we want to, because we prefer this option to any of the alternatives, but I don't want to trap you should you ever change your mind. It doesn't seem fair. So…"
Rachel puts her fork down and looks at Quinn. Really looks. And she loves the caring, thoughtful woman she sees before her. She's pretty sure it's not romantic love, but it's the deepest form of friendship she can think of. And she can't imagine wanting out of a life with her best friend, but she appreciates Quinn giving her the option. She appreciates her concerns being heard.
"Well, thank you…I appreciate you changing that. And of course, I have no intention of leaving. But…thanks. Again."
When they look up and realize they're both blushing for some reason, they share a little laugh.
"Right. You're welcome." She looks back down at her meal. "Anyway, like I said, it's all virtually the same except for the changes you made so no need to look through it again. I proofread meticulously so just sign on page 13 and you're good."
Quinn pushes the pen and packet Rachel's way, already opened to the final page where her own signature is neatly scrawled on the appropriate line. All that's missing is
Rachel's signature to signify that she understands and is willing to abide by the terms addressed in the contract.
Rachel takes the pen and prepares to sign.
"I have to admit, this is a little weird seeing as I thought this was already done."
Quinn shakes her head. "Well, I was too tired to ruin it for you last week, but the contract became null when you disagreed with the outlined terms. You can't make changes in pen on the document but then still sign. I had to edit it first to make it agreeable to both parties, which I did. After you're finished signing," Quinn draws out the last words as Rachel finishes her name with a star at the end, "Grrreat! We are now officially obligated to be married."
Rachel lifts her water glass and Quinn does the same.
"Cheers."
"Cheers." Rachel responds as she clinks her glass against Quinn's. "And congratulations for being engaged to the most talented woman in New York." Rachel is smirking and finds her own statement to be funny.
But Quinn isn't laughing.
Quinn is looking Rachel in the eyes and she just…stares. The moment feels so intense that Rachel can't bear to tear her eyes away from Quinn's.
"Congratulations to me, indeed." Quinn says it so seriously that there is no way Rachel can maintain this eye contact any longer. Her cheeks are flushed completely, her skin is warm, and her heart is so full of love that she can hardly bear it.
She clears her throat and reminds Quinn in a nearly breathless voice that their dinner is getting cold. They both go back to the small portion of food still on their plates which is still completely warm.
After she's found her voice, Rachel speaks up a few minutes later to get them back on track.
"So, you think even without jobs, we'll be alright for the rest of the academic year?"
Quinn is grateful for the safer conversation.
"Oh, yeah. We should be alright. I mean, we may not have too much extra money for clothes and makeup and other luxuries but it's manageable. We'll just have to communicate before we make purchases to make sure we haven't gone over budget."
Just then, Rachel mentally kicks herself for not remembering that Quinn is not the only one with money.
"You know, I feel awful that I've neglected to offer it, but I have a savings too. It's probably only a couple thousand but it's still something."
Quinn shakes her adamantly though.
"No Rach. Hold onto that. That's your money. We'll use that as emergency savings but don't spend it, if possible. I promise, we'll be fine. Like I said, my dad taking care of the rent was a huge blessing in disguise."
"Speaking of your dad….do you know what you're going to do after graduation?"
Rachel knows this may be a sore spot, but she has to ask.
Quinn just throws her focus back into eating. She obviously doesn't want to talk about it. Rachel takes that as a no. Quinn has no idea what she's going to do. She's gone to school for four years and prepared her whole life to work at her father's company. Now that the option to work there no longer exists, Quinn is at a loss.
"Well, think about it like this," Rachel starts, sounding more cheerful than she really feels, "this is a great opportunity for a fresh start." This captures Quinn's attention. She's still playing around with her penne pasta, but it's obvious to Rachel that she's at least listening.
She takes advantage of the opportunity while she can.
"Before you had to study economics and business and you had to take classes about contractual agreements and business…things, but now….now you can do whatever you want!"
"Yeah, but I'm not going to spend another 3 years in school Rach. I can't afford that."
Those words sound so foreign to Quinn. Never in her life has she been unable to afford something. But she quickly reminds herself that she would rather be poor and struggling with Rachel than rich and powerful without her.
"You don't have to Quinn." Rachel puts down her fork and crosses her arms on the table.
"Quinn, you double majored. You're going to have a degree in comparative literature too. You can do a lot with that…right?" Rachel really doesn't know what comparative literature is or what people with a degree in such things even do. But she's knows that Quinn reads often. All the time, in fact. She knows that Quinn is also fluent in French and Spanish and sometimes reads works in those languages and that's got to get her somewhere, right? It has to. Otherwise, what is Quinn going to do with her life?
Quinn shrugs. "Not really, Rach. People typically study comp lit to teach it at a university. That's not something I'm interested in."
Rachel is so confused. Then why would Quinn major in it if she wasn't interested, she wonders. She decides to try a different approach.
"Ooookay, then what are you interested in?"
Quinn brings her hand up to rest under her chin as she thinks. What is she interested in?
"Well, I like writing. I always have. I've never really had much time to pursue it but I've always wanted to write a novel or something."
Rachel smiles, realizing that there may be some things she doesn't know about Quinn. Probably because some dreams she's never felt the need to voice aloud because what would be the point? She would never have been able to live them out.
But now, free from expectation, she can.
"That sounds wonderful Quinn. You've read so much that I would bet you could create the perfect novel."
Quinn smiles back softly.
"Yeah, maybe I could."
"No, no maybe's Quinn. If you want to write, I'd support that. And it's a very lucrative business."
"Well, you don't just make a shit ton of money the second you write a book, Rach. You have to have a publisher and they have to think it's good enough to provide you with strong advertising and publicity. It's not an overnight thing and I don't know if I could—"
But Rachel refuses to let Quinn indulge in self-doubt. Though she has never read anything that Quinn is written, she knows what Quinn is capable of. Greatness. Absolute greatness.
"Quinn, if this is what you want, then go after it. There are a million reasons not to, but if it's something you're passionate about, that's the only reason you need to do it."
Quinn loves this girl. So much. And it's so nice to know that Rachel finds Quinn's dreams to be just as significant as her own.
"Then I'll do it. I'll write a book."
"About what?"
"I have no idea." Rachel laughs at that.
"Well, I cannot wait to read it."
Quinn leans across the table to grab Rachel's hand and brings it to her lips for a kiss.
"Of course. And you'll be the first."
Rachel hears those words and her first thought is I'd love to be your last. But she keeps that inside because regardless of how close they are, that may just be too much.
"I'll have a tall nonfat caramel macchiato with no whip." She looks over at him. "Did you want anything?"
"Oh..yeah, thanks. I'll have a venti chocolate chip frap, lots of whip."
Quinn hands over the crisp $10 bill for the both of them. As she does so, she remembers that she probably shouldn't offer to pay too often anymore. It's one thing to do it for Rachel because they pretty much share finances now, but paying for her friend's coffee is a kindness she may no longer be able to afford.
Quinn lays her purse an available table as she takes a seat and when the drinks are prepared, Sam joins her.
"I feel like it's been weeks since I've seen you around campus. How have you been?"
Quinn blows on her coffee and looks up at Sam. His hair is longer, which reinforces toher that it has been quite a few weeks since they've had a chance to hang out, but longer hair suits him.
"Fine, I guess. You?" He smiles fondly. He's missed her and her short, straightforward answers.
Sam has known Quinn since freshmen year of college when they shared Business 101 together. It was obvious to him almost immediately that Quinn was good at the whole "business" thing, which he certainly wasn't. He originally befriended her as a means to a passing grade, but eventually their friendship stuck. Even after he realized that business wasn't for him and took up photography instead.
He sips on his coffee and looks at her curiously.
"Just fine?"
Quinn sighs. "Yes, just…fine."
He nods, knowing he's not getting much more than that on the issue of her wellbeing, so he tries a different strategy.
"And how's Rachel? Britt said she hadn't seen her in a few weeks either."
Quinn realizes that he's in a digging mood today, so one word answers just aren't going to do the trick.
"Rach is fine. We've been hanging out a lot lately so that's probably why we've both been MIA."
"You guys are always hanging out. We still usually see you…."
He's just not going to back down.
"Yeah and?" Quinn sounds positively irritated and that only makes Sam want to know more. For some reason, there's more to this than what Quinn is saying. She's never this quick to anger over something as simple as her whereabouts.
"And I'm your friend. I was just wondering, just wanted to make sure you were okay." He shrugs as if the sentimental words aren't a big deal, but he can tell that Quinn now feels bad that she was so rude when he was just inquiring like any good friend would.
"Yeah, sorry." She runs her fingers through her hair as she glances around the campus coffee shop, unusually empty for a Monday. "I don't mean to be so short with you. It's just been a tough couple of weeks."
Sam now feels awful.
"Oh..well, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pry or anything."
"No, you're not! I-I just…" He's going to find out eventually. She can't hide a marriage forever. Especially since his girlfriend is surely going to be her fiancée's maid of honor. "I'm getting married. To Rachel."
Sam freezes mid slurp. His eyes dart from left to right. As if he's waiting for a camera crew to pop out of nowhere and fulfill his lifetime dream of being punk'd.
She almost forgets to breathe as she waits for his response. She doesn't know why she's so nervous. It's not like she needs his approval.
"Like…Berry?"
She wants to roll her eyes, but Rachel's voice fills her head telling her to be nice. Be patient. So she calmly responds. "Yes, like Rachel Berry."
"Oh…." He exhales loudly. "Uh cool…?"
Quinn doesn't know what to say. She wasn't expecting that response.
But he's not sure of what to say either.
Quinn sounds so strained about it and he's not sure if that means he should sound disinterested to reflect her apparent mood. But he's so curious and so caught off guard that he just has to know, whether she wants to tell him or not.
"How long have you guys even been dating?"
"About a month."
He nods and takes a sip of his frap.
She says nothing. She figures it might be better to wait for him to say something.
Quinn has always been a rather private person, so though she's not opposed to answering questions, she won't disclose any information without being first asked. And after 4 years, he knows this well and proceeds to question her.
"Since when did you guys become gay for each other?"
She can't help but laugh a little at that. That's what she was expecting.
"I don't really know." It's obvious that this is confusing to Sam. He squints his eyes and scratches his head.
"How do you not know?"
"I don't know," she shrugs. "One day, I just woke up and realized I was in love with my best friend."
Sam takes a moment to think about that while finishing his frap.
"Wow. Sounds like you guys just fell out of a Rom-Com."
Quinn laughs because he's right. That is the most cliché thing she could've come up with.
But he believes it. And for all intents and purposes, so does she.
The next thing she knows she's being pulled from her chair into his arms for the tightest hug of her life. He squeezes her for several seconds and at one point, Quinn can no longer feel the ground beneath her feet.
He nearly takes out her ear drum as he yells his excitement and congratulations directly into her ear, but she can't bring herself to be upset with him. As he places her back on the ground safely, she can't help the smile that spreads across her face when she sees the pure joy on his.
"You know, I have to say, this is the last thing I expected from you, but I couldn't be happier!"
The internal breath she was holding as she waited for his acceptance releases itself. She feels the weight that her father unknowingly put on her shoulders lifted and she falls back into his arms. He wraps himself around her again and kisses her head.
"I'm so happy that you found each other."
She loves Sam for this very reason. He's a no-questions-asked kind of guy. He takes everything for what it is. To him, love is love. For him, no explanation is necessary.
He wraps his arms around her shoulder as they grab their drinks and bags and prepare to leave to head to their next class.
"Sooooo…when's the big day? Do I get to be the best man? Am I too old to be a ring bearer? Can I be the preacher guy? Oh! Do you need an impersonator as entertainment, I can do Elvis!"
She vomits a little in her mouth.
"Like hell I'm inviting Elvis to my wedding. But, we're getting married on Valentine's Day 2017 which gives us a little more than a year. That's plenty of time to hire decent entertainment. But, of course, if Rachel has it her way, she will be the entertainment."
They both share a laugh.
"Knowing Rach, she'll be the only one allowed to touch the microphone at the reception."
Quinn groans because, yet again, he's right.
"And yes, you can be the best man." Sam thrusts his fist in the air to congratulate himself on the title, but Quinn makes sure to note, "I only chose you because I literally have no other male friends. So don't let it go to your head. Really, if anyone asks, you're the only man."
He pushes her lightly in the shoulder and she pretends that it nearly knocks her over. But she does this so often that Sam is unfazed by her dramatics.
As they continue to walk, a silence envelopes them and Sam feels the need to ask one more question that's been nagging him.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner, Q?"
Quinn now desperately wishes she could turn her coffee into a glass of wine. She needs it for the heaviness of this conversation. She can hear it in his tone and feel it in his demeanor.
He actually sounds a little hurt. Before she can even formulate a lie about how she and Rachel agreed to keep things secret to test the waters, he speaks up again.
And he sounds timid. Which is not a word she has ever used in association with Sam. He is fun and caring and crazy. But never timid or shy or unsure.
"Did you…did you think you couldn't trust me? Like, I wouldn't be cool with it or something?"
Quinn shakes her head adamantly.
"No, of course not Sam! I just…" She searches for a believable excuse. "I had to come to terms with it myself."
Yes! That's something that lesbians say, right?!
He still doesn't look altogether convinced. Which, Quinn thinks, is completely fair. She tells him just about everything. Especially when it concerns Rachel. He really is her only friend outside of Rachel.
She looks over at him and he's staring at her intently, so she looks away again. She doesn't want to make eye contact with him as she bares her soul and takes their friendship to a whole new level with her openness.
"We told my parents about the engagement last weekend and it was a fucking disaster. My mom was thrilled, but my dad basically told me to choose between my family or Rachel."
He stops walking and grabs her bag so that she's forced to either forsake her materials or stop altogether.
So she stops.
He looks like he wants to say something, so she waits. But in the end, he must decide that there are no perfect words for this moment, so he just leans down and pulls her in for another hug.
She wants to pull away. She wants to tell him it's no big deal. But it's a huge deal. And it's actually been tearing her apart inside for the past week. So as she wraps her arms around his broad shoulders, she allows silent tears to fall.
This is the first time she's ever used his shoulder as one to cry on.
Usually, that's what Rachel is for. But Quinn doesn't want to worry her. Quinn doesn't want Rachel to think that she's falling apart and she certainly doesn't want Rachel to feel guilty about a decision Quinn would make a thousand more times even if given the opportunity to do things differently.
So, in the middle of the courtyard at NYU, she falls apart in Sam's arms. The only place she feels safe falling apart right now.
"Soooooooo….."
Rachel pretends not to hear her and continues to stretch.
"Raaachhhhh…."
She just needs to successfully ignore her for a few more minutes until the instructor arrives.
"I got a text from Sam before class."
Dammit.
She already knows where this is going. While Quinn was making her lunch, she had discussed with Rachel the possibility of telling their closest (and only) friends, Sam and Brittany.
Rachel found it to be a good idea and they both agreed they would tell them at some point during the day. But upon further consideration, Rachel realized she was in no mood for Brittany's invasive and possibly insensitive questions.
So though she had had several opportunities to divulge the information of her engagement, she had yet to do so.
Rachel realizes, however, that was a mistake.
Because despite not wanting Brittany to know, she should've considered that Brittany's boyfriend was incapable of keeping a secret.
She figures she may as well come clean before Brittany goes fishing for information, which would only make things worse.
"Yes, well, as I'm sure you've heard," She takes a breath and stretches her leg on the barre, "Quinn and I are getting married."
Though she surely must have known, Brittany squeals and claps her hands together in excitement, which draws the attention of other students.
"So it's true!"
Rachel blushes under their gaze.
"Shhhh Britt. Yes, it's true but it's really not that big of a deal."
That makes Brittany gasp.
"What?! Rachel Berry. This is a huge deal!"
She wants to agree. She always pictured her wedding as a huge deal, but she feels somewhat awful about lying and that prevents her from turning this into a huge deal.
"No, Brittany, I assure you it's not."
She switches to stretching out her right leg.
"What?! You're getting married!"
She's already tired of this discussion.
"I am well aware."
"How are you not excited?"
She's losing her patience.
"I am."
"You don't seem excited."
Patience lost. And before she can filter, she's whisper yelling.
"BECAUSE IT'S NOT REAL, BRITT."
Oh my god. Oh my god. I just said that aloud.
Her breathing picks up and she worries that she's ruined everything, but there is one thing that eases her mind.
Remember Rachel…it's Brittany. She probably didn't even catch it. And even if she heard me, I could easily lie and she would believe it. I love her to death but she's not that sma—
"Wait, so…you and Quinn are in a fake relationship and you're just pretending?"
Oh you have got to be kidding me! The ONE TIME I need her to not understand is the one time it makes perfect sense to her. Fuck me.
Rachel immediately feels guilty about the expletive and apologizes to the universe, before re-focusing on the issue at hand.
"Brittany, look…" She pauses. She knows that really no amount of words can make this sound less crazy.
And it's one thing to lie by omission, but to try to convince Brittany that she's just crazy when actually she's exactly right just feels wrong to Rachel.
She tries again, "It's not a fake relationship per se. It's just…well-constructed."
Brittany scrunches her face in clear confusion and so Rachel tries once more, in simpler terms.
"Quinn and I don't want to be alone forever. So we figured that this way, marrying each other, we could avoid the loneliness and be happy."
Brittany is unconvinced.
"But what if the unicorn fairies just haven't put your perfect guy in front of you yet?"
Rachel stands up straight from her bent position and turns to face Brittany who has already finished her opening stretches. Brittany, usually dense and distant, has just managed to address her greatest worry. She has spent a few nights alone in her own bed wondering the same thing.
What if prince charming is just a little late for the ball?
"Yes Brittany, but I also need someone I can trust, someone who isn't plagued with ulterior motives, whether they realize it or not. Someone who really knows me and still…stays. In my entire life, I've dated a total of three guys and all of them have been interested in the beginning, but that interest eventually…dies out."
Brittany nods.
"Well, that's cool then."
Rachel squints her eyes. Brittany is just full of surprises today. She expected Brittany to be perfectly fine with their relationship but she did expect a little more prying. If the situations were reversed, she would be desperate to know more. But she accepts that sometimes Brittany is just unpredictable.
She looks around wondering where the instructor is, considering taking the initiative and leading the class herself when Brittany speaks up.
"I can understand why you'd marry Quinn though. She looks like she'd be great at lady kisses." Rachel whips her head around towards Brittany, eyes wide.
"Umm, yeah, sure. She's okay, I guess."
Brittany laughs at Rachel as if she's insane.
"You don't just suddenly date girls because of "okay" kisses. You don't marry someone with okay kisses Rach. That's like marrying someone with okay hands."
It's Rachel's turn to be incredibly confused.
"Wait, what do hands have to do with anything?"
"Well, you tell me….is Quinn good with her hands?"
Brittany is smirking in Rachel's direction as she blushes profusely, picking up on her hidden meaning. But before Rachel has a chance to respond, Ms. July enters the room and demands that they break off into groups of five.
As they prepare to find three other group members, Rachel speaks up, eager to clear up the 'hands' thing.
"Quinn and I haven't done that."
She stops abruptly. She ended the sentence, yet it feels incomplete, even to her own ears. And it shocks her when she realizes that the missing word is "yet". Had she continued on, she would've added a "yet".
We haven't had sex yet.
That thought surprises her because sex with Quinn is never something she's even considered. Neither of them had. Or at least Quinn had never mentioned it aloud.
They've kissed on numerous occasions, sometimes even in the presence of just each other, when it was unnecessary.
For consistency, Rachel assures herself.
And, Rachel will admit, sometimes their kisses become a bit heated. Rachel might also admit that Quinn is a wonderful kisser and she enjoys the feeling of Quinn's lips on hers. Her tongue in Rachel's mouth. It's all very sexy. And yet, it's never gone any further than kissing. And neither girl had displayed any interest in taking it further.
But Brittany raises an excellent question. Are they both going to stay celibate for the rest of their lives? Are they allowed to fulfill sexual desires with men outside of their little relationship? Or was sex something they would have to negotiate on as well, much like dishes and trash take out?
It seems to Rachel as though they had the basics of a relationship covered, but they hadn't planned for sex. And certainly not what sex could (traditionally) lead to: children.
Rachel's head is now swimming with all the things that she and Quinn seemed to have forgotten about. The simplest, most obvious things.
Kissing is one thing, but can she handle sex with Quinn? The idea is somewhat unappealing. Not because she finds Quinn unattractive. That's not humanly possible. But she has no interest in the female sexual anatomy. Not only is she uninterested, but she wouldn't even know what to do with it.
But, on the other hand, would she feel comfortable being married to Quinn and sleeping with other people to satisfy the needs that Quinn couldn't or wouldn't satisfy? More than that, would she be okay with Quinn doing the same?
That thought, the thought of Quinn wearing the wedding ring Rachel would give to her while laying down with someone else, sends a jealous chill through Rachel that she immediately tosses to the back of her mind.
There are bigger issues at hand.
What if Quinn decided she wasn't comfortable with sex at all? Rachel had only had one sexual partner in high school and the experience certainly hadn't been ground breaking…but could Rachel go without sex period? Forever?
That thought alone sends her brain into overload. She's stressed. These are all new thoughts to process.
And then there was the issue of children? Completely undisguised. Did Quinn want kids? Had they ever even mentioned it?
She racks her brain trying to remember how Quinn feels about kids.
She recalls one incident in high school in which a girl from a grade younger than them had gotten pregnant. It was the scandal of the school year and she distinctly remembers discussing it with Quinn, who was very sympathetic. But she can't for the life of her remember if Quinn said something about wanting kids or hating kids or loving kids or anything.
Did Rachel herself even want kids? If so, at what age? And how many?
Her breathing picks up as she realizes that they have not thought everything through. They prided themselves on efficiency and forward thinking, yet they really didn't think about things they might want later in life. They had only considered the here and now.
I have to talk to Quinn as soon as I can. I have to call her. I'll finish this class and then call her. She'll know what to do. No need to freak out Rach.
She tries to even out her breathing.
Quinn will know what to do. So just relax, Rach.
Relax.
Her final thought before she passes out.
######
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and as always, reviews are very much appreciated! They really do motivate me! Until next time! :)
Title by Stevie Wonder
Chapter 6: Beg For It
Chapter Text
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just-" Quinn is holding her sides, dying with laughter.
Rachel is completely unamused.
"I just-" she tries to even her breathing. "I just cannot believe you FAINTED!"
She bursts out laughing again and Rachel rolls her eyes.
"It was a stressful situation Quinn! You know how I get!"
Yes, Quinn knows exactly how Rachel gets.
She remembers the time in 4th grade when they had to recite a short speech on their chosen state in America. Rachel wrote her speech about New York, her dream city and the birth place of her idol Barbra Streisand. She started out with an opening number "New York, New York" then began to recite her speech. "I love New York. I love New York because I love Barbra Streisand." Danny Salman shouted that no one knew who that was. There was snickering and whispering and it was obvious to Quinn that Rachel was getting nervous. Her breathing quickened, she placed her hand over her chest, and before Quinn could even think of telling Danny and his stupid friends to shut up, Rachel had passed the fuck out.
So yes, Quinn knows how she gets. She laughs out loud remembering one of her favorite grade school memories.
But when Quinn finally comes to her senses and looks over at Rachel, she sees that she's not smiling at all. In fact, she looks angry. Her arms are crossed and there's a scowl painted on her face.
"Oh come on Rach, I was just kidding. I'm sorry you fainted." She leans over towards Rachel's side of the couch and tries to kiss Rachel on the cheek, but she puts up her hand to deflect Quinn's lips and ends up palming Quinn right in the face.
Quinn sighs as if she's irritated, but really she finds this whole situation so damn funny. She chuckles again to herself as she pictures Rachel fainting gracefully mid class.
"Quinn, this is serious! What are we going to do about Brittany? You know that she cannot keep a secret! She'll tell everyone!"
Rachel has a point. Brittany doesn't know how to keep a secret. In fact, Quinn thinks, Brittany doesn't even know what a secret is. She would need Rachel's fingers and toes, as well as her own, to count the number of times that Brittany has told them private information about other people that they neither wanted nor asked for.
But on some level, Quinn trusts that Brittany knows this secret is too big and too personal to share.
"Well, you told her not to tell anyone right? So I'm sure for her best friend she can keep it to herself." Rachel looks over and scoffs.
"Okay! I'm done with you Quinn. You're not being helpful."
Rachel gets off the couch and heads to the bedroom. Quinn is unsure if she should follow. Rachel has a point, she certainly isn't being helpful. Because she doesn't know how to be or what to say. So she yells from the couch,
"Sooooo are we done with this?" She doesn't mean it harshly. She just wants to know if she has permission to go back to her book or if Rachel still has more to say. But Rachel must not hear the playfulness in her tone because in a moment, Rachel comes storming back into the room. But this time, she's wearing only her yoga pants and a sports bra.
This is not new for Quinn. She has seen Rachel in a bikini. She has seen her in nothing but a towel. And as of 6 months ago, she has seen the faintest sight of Rachel's bottom when they went to the spa to get full body massages.
Compared to what Quinn has seen before, Rachel is being modest right now with just her abs showing and her average sized breasts peeking out of her sports bra.
So why her breath catches and her heart skips a beat, she has no idea.
I just wasn't expecting her to come out here half naked.
But before she can dwell on her paper thin excuse, her brain processes Rachel yelling.
"No Quinn! We're not done! And how incredibly rude of you! I will let you know when I'm done! And I can assure you, I'm far from done!"
Quinn rolls her eyes.
"Okay then Rachel," she doesn't necessarily mean to yell back but it's what happens when she opens her mouth so she goes with it. "What is it you'd like to discuss further? If it's Brittany, you've done everything you can. You've asked her, begged her really, not to tell anyone so I just feel like it's out of your control now. You just have to be more careful. I'm not mad so I don't understand why you're being so intense about this."
Quinn leans back on the couch, absolutely exhausted after a full day of classes and now Rachel's dramatics.
We're doing take out tonight. There's no way I'm cooking.
"Would you like to know why I fainted Quinn?"
Rachel says it in a way that makes it feel like a trap, Quinn thinks. But she proceeds to ask why anyway, somewhat afraid to know the answer.
Rachel runs a hand through her hair and though she doesn't mean to, she nearly shouts, "SEX!"
Quinn, whose eyes had been closed, whips her head up to look at Rachel in surprise.
"What?" She's so confused. Brittany talking about sex is no surprise to anyone. She has sex talks with strangers for goodness sake.
"She asked me if we," Rachel gestures between them, "if WE were having sex!"
Now, that is a surprise to Quinn.
Not because Brittany asked. In fact, it makes sense that anyone would ask such a question. And it wasn't an offensive or repulsive question because typically a couple, especially an engaged one, would be having sex. Mostly likely even amazing, mind blowing sex because without it the proposal probably wouldn't have happened.
She's surprised that she didn't think of this. What she and Rachel would say when someone asked not if they were having sex, but how was the sex. They would surely ask and she would have to say something.
But would that something be a lie? If Sam asked her how the wedding night was with Rachel, would she give some deeply fabricated account of a sexual experience she had not even taken part in or…
"Nooow you see my dilemma." Rachel says smugly as she relishes in the realization on Quinn's face.
Quinn runs her hands over her face. "What…what are we going to do Rachel? About sex?" Though Quinn has never been shy about her sexuality, she nearly whispers the last words out of her mouth as if she's scandalized.
Rachel plops down on the coffee table across from her to provide her input. She figures she should start since technically she's had 4 more hours than Quinn to think about all of this.
"Well…I was thinking, I'm not—Well, I…" she exhales deeply. She feels like this topic is about to get into some serious territory and she doesn't want what she is about to say scare Quinn. But she has to be honest, their friendship is built on it. "I never thought I would say this about my best friend, but I like kissing you Quinn. A lot. Probably more than I should, to be honest."
She waits for Quinn to laugh or say something sarcastic but it never comes. She can't decide if this is comforting, knowing she isn't being judged, or completely disarming, because now she has no clue what Quinn is thinking.
Quinn only leans forward with her eyes widened, as if she knows exactly what Rachel is talking about. "I like it too! You're much better than anyone I've ever kissed."
Rachel blushes at the compliment and the star in her wants to let Quinn proceed to shower her with more compliments about her kissing technique but Quinn goes in the opposite direction.
"But as much as I love the kissing…sex is…a really big step."
Rachel completely agrees. She had come to a similar conclusion on the way home from school. Sex was a really big step and Rachel wasn't sure she was ready to take it. On the one hand, she loved kissing Quinn. Much more than she thought she ever would, but that was just kissing. Girls kissed other girls all the time for the camera or for fun or even just a free meal from a guy. And kissing was something she already knew how to do.
But she had no idea what lesbian sex entailed. And Rachel hated nothing more than going into a situation blind and doing what amateurs referred to as "winging it". She shuddered at the term.
"I completely agree Quinn. And after some serious thought, I just don't think it's something I'm ready for."
Quinn nods understandingly. She's not ready either. The idea of sex with Rachel doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world, especially if the kisses are any indicator of what she's like in bed, but Quinn agrees that's not something she is just prepared to dive into. But now it's Quinn's turn to go out on a metaphorical limb and hope for the best,
"But eventually…I could be open to it."
Rachel is absolutely surprised to hear that. She thought for sure that Quinn would think sex was way too much and would say no entirely.
She takes Rachel's silence for disinterest.
"Only if you felt comfortable, of course! Or we could just…keep things the way they are, you know?" Quinn rushes out the whole sentence so quickly that Rachel is forced to replay it in her mind twice more before she catches every word.
She is quiet for a moment. Mulling it over. Is sex with Quinn something she would be open to trying?
She creates a quick pro/con list in her mind.
Cons:
She doesn't know what to do with a woman's body.
Lesbian sex would be much much more than what they had original planned upon.
And lastly, her biggest concern is that attempting to have sex would make things weird between them. Because if she hates it, it might ruin what they already had. And if she enjoys it…well, that would only raise questions about her sexuality that Rachel is ill-prepared to answer.
But on the other hand, she really liked what they had right now and the kissing was an unexpected bonus. What if amazing sex was just another bonus to having such a great friendship?
And as for the sex not being amazing, Rachel simply wouldn't allow that. She never did anything half way, so if she and Quinn did decide to take that next step, she could always read books and research online about the female anatomy and how to pleasure a woman.
I mean, how hard could it be really?
It's not as if she had never touched herself before. And in fact, being with Quinn in theory would be easier than being with a guy. They were both women so there was already a home court advantage.
But the best advantage of all was that Quinn was so attractive. Rachel had always thought so and though she had never fantasized about sex with Quinn, she was sure that it was something to talk about in the morning.
So though she was apprehensive, she found herself agreeing with Quinn.
"Yes…sex is something I could be open to as well, I suppose."
Quinn squints her eyes again, skeptical.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. Because I mean, what's the alternative? No sex? Or sleeping with other people?"
Quinn immediately shakes her head. "No. No, I wouldn't be able to sleep with anyone else if we were married. That would feel like cheating."
Rachel nods, completely agreeing.
"I know, me neither. So that only leaves sex or no sex and…I mean, I was surprised by the kissing so maybe the sex will surprise us too."
That makes Quinn blush, "That's true. Who knows, with my skilled piano fingers,"
Rachel cuts in, "and my tireless passion,"
"We could have the best sex ever." Quinn finishes.
Rachel lifts her hand and Quinn high fives her without delay.
"Awesome. So, an addendum then?"
"Yeah, sure." Whatever that is, Rachel thinks.
"Great, I'll add it to the contract then. We will leave the option of sex open to both parties, pending a discussion when both of us feel ready to proceed further."
Rachel scrunches her face in disgust as she gets up and prepares to head back to the bedroom, but Quinn stops her.
"Woah, what was that face for?"
Rachel turns around just as she crosses the threshold of the bedroom door, "You make sex sound so clinical when you word it like that. It's an absolute turn off."
Quinn laughs and gets up to follow her, egging her on.
"Well, good! My words were meant to turn you off, Rachel. I don't want you trying to force yourself on me before I'm ready to have a discussion about it."
Rachel lets out a high pitched laugh.
"HA! Oh really?" Rachel rushes back towards Quinn and grabs her shirt to pull her closer.
Quinn stops breathing momentarily as Rachel pulls her in as close as possible until their noses are touching and Quinn is breathing in every breath that Rachel exhales.
Neither girl speaks for a moment, but then Rachel wraps her arms around Quinn's waist and leans into Quinn's neck as if inviting herself in for a hug. Quinn instinctively wraps her arms around Rachel's waist as well, and is reveling in Rachel's warmth until things become a little too heated.
Rachel's breath is hot as it hits her neck, but it sends chills down her spine. She shudders as Rachel places the barest kiss to the exposed skin on her neck. And she completely comes undone when Rachel takes her ear in between two perfect lips and sucks gently. Quinn just barely manages to control her moan.
She can't recall if she's told Rachel about how sensitive her ears are or if Rachel just managed to find this secret spot all on her own, but either way, it takes every bit of self-control not to rip Rachel's clothes off right there.
But as soon as she manages to regulate her breathing and calm herself enough to think straight, something happens that Quinn never expects, especially after their conversation about not being ready for sex.
Rachel moves her lips back to Quinn's neck and sucks. Hard.
This time, there is no controlling anything. Her hands fly up to Rachel's hair as a breathy moan tumbles out of her mouth.
"Shiiiit. Rach, that feels amazing."
But amazing is an understatement. This feels fucking life-changing.
Quinn wants to say that she's missed this. It's been almost 2 years since she's let a guy go anywhere near her neck, one of her more sensitive spots. But to say that she has missed this is to insinuate that her experience with past boyfriends has ever felt this good. Which would be an absolute lie.
Nothing she's ever experienced, not even with her favorite boyfriend in high school whom she gave her virginity to, has felt this good.
Her hands are grabbing Rachel's hair, almost too roughly she thinks, but if Rachel's not complaining, Quinn's not stopping. And she hopes to god Rachel doesn't either.
Rachel's hands are clawing up and down her back and just when Quinn thinks it can't get any better, flesh meets flesh.
The feeling of warm skin on her own has Quinn in such a daze that it takes her a few seconds to realize that the skin she's feeling on her stomach are not just Rachel's hands beneath her shirt, but Rachel's soft stomach brushing lightly against her own. She yearns to feel more and pulls her impossibly closer.
Her fingertips are just barely grazing against Quinn's toned abs and Quinn is ashamed to say that a few more minutes of this and she could easily cum.
It's been forever since she's been with someone like this and what Rachel is doing is proving to be just what her body needs.
Before she has time to consider that this is not only something her body needs, but something it desperately wants, she feels one of Rachel's hands find its way to her hair and the other cups one of her breasts. In perfect synchrony, Rachel squeezes her breast roughly and pulls her hair back forcing Quinn to expose her neck as she places wet kisses along Quinn's neck all the way up to her ear.
Quinn's breathing is raged and it takes all of her strength to just continue standing upright. Her knees her weak, her heart feels like it's going to beat out of her chest, and her panties are just ruined.
Quinn's nails are digging into the bare skin of Rachel's back and every voice in her head is screaming, fuck the discussion, and just as she prepares to succumb to whatever Rachel has in mind, Rachel whispers in her ear,
"Trust me Quinn, if we do have sex, I won't have to force you into anything."
She squeezes Quinn's breast even more roughly one last time to emphasize her point. Quinn lets out a high-pitched moan that Rachel silences with a kiss directly on her lips. Their lips graze over one another's hungrily. Quinn's tongue darts out to taste Rachel and Rachel has to force herself to pull away from the euphoric feeling of Quinn's mouth on her own. When she finally separates from Quinn's lips, she makes her way back to Quinn's other ear to whisper one last thing. "If we do have sex, you'll be on your knees begging for more."
And then, all at once, Rachel pulls away.
But Quinn is so flushed and so beside herself that by the time she processes what has just taken place, Rachel is long gone. Quinn sees the bathroom door cracked and hears the shower running and for a moment she legitimately considers stripping naked and joining Rachel.
But her sensibilities win her over. Quinn runs her fingers through her tousled hair and works to steady her breathing. As she straightens out her shirt, she vows that Rachel will pay for this.
Ready or not, I'm going to make you cum Rachel Berry.
######
Up next: the Berry men come to NYC for a visit! Thanks to everyone who gave kudos or reviewed, I appreciate you guys! :)
Title by Iggy Azalea
FeelSeekHeal on Chapter 1 Sat 08 Oct 2016 03:33PM UTC
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IShipLOVE on Chapter 1 Fri 14 Oct 2016 01:36AM UTC
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Rubyrose0736 on Chapter 1 Sun 09 Oct 2016 06:48AM UTC
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IShipLOVE on Chapter 1 Fri 14 Oct 2016 01:34AM UTC
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Hufflepuppy (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sat 05 Nov 2016 10:19PM UTC
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Yin (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sun 16 Oct 2016 08:28AM UTC
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Matty (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sun 13 Nov 2016 11:05AM UTC
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. (Guest) on Chapter 1 Wed 18 Jan 2023 09:16PM UTC
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HeddersTheOwl on Chapter 2 Sat 15 Oct 2016 10:28PM UTC
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isolation on Chapter 2 Sun 16 Oct 2016 08:57AM UTC
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Matty (Guest) on Chapter 2 Sun 13 Nov 2016 01:39PM UTC
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. (Guest) on Chapter 3 Wed 18 Jan 2023 10:24PM UTC
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DuchessOfEverAfter on Chapter 6 Tue 20 Dec 2016 11:00PM UTC
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broadwaybound2016 on Chapter 6 Mon 30 Jan 2017 06:47AM UTC
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Sagana on Chapter 6 Wed 14 Feb 2018 10:53PM UTC
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dayershiper on Chapter 6 Sun 31 May 2020 06:32AM UTC
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WeAllFallHere on Chapter 6 Sat 02 Apr 2022 05:37AM UTC
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