Work Text:
Leia would give him this: Han tended to get right to the heart of a matter.
"So what was that all about?"
Technically, it had been a strategy briefing to discuss an upcoming mission: specifically, a strategy for engaging some allies from the Elder Houses in supporting the Alliance and the Alderaanian diaspora. Two missions in one, really, or at least to the degree they could manage it while protecting the Alderaanians and the Alliance.
What Han was likely asking about was the air of awkwardness that had suddenly overtaken Leia as soon as Evaan Verlaine (who was currently leading the diaspora) had entered the room. Leia had recovered quickly enough that she thought no one had been the wiser, but apparently not.
What were the odds Han would let this go? Worth a check.
"That was a briefing, you've been to enough of them by now you should remember," she said as they walked together through the icy halls, her voice taking on a particularly imperious tone she imagined he would enjoy. He seemed to like it when she got haughty with him; he took it as a challenge.
"And I do hope you were listening, since you're on this mission with me," she added, for a little extra sauce.
Han snickered at that. "Nice try, Your Worship," he said. "Think you know what I mean."
"I'm afraid I don't." In for a credit—
They had reached the intersection in the hallway with pathways to the hangar and to the command center, and Han paused.
"Make you a deal," he said. "I'll brew you a new pot of kaffe on the Falcon, and you give me the story 'bout wherever the fuck you went in your head during that briefing."
Leia could feel her face fall. "It was that bad?"
"Not bad," he hedged, "mostly awkward. Saw a few more of your tells than normal."
Great. Just great. Leia tucked away for later the fact that she apparently had "tells," and that Han at least thought himself able to clock them. More than normal?
Well, she could always fall back on duty. She nodded toward the path leading to the command center. "I have to get back—"
Han was shaking his head. "Happen to know your shift today's not till later," he said. "And that Rieekan talked to you about spendin' all day and night in the command center without a break."
Carlist, you traitor.
Leia sighed. "Fine. Lead the way." At least she was getting some decent kaffe out of the deal.
Han made good on the kaffe, and now Leia was having to make good on the conversation. Or gossip, or whatever the hell Han was trying to get out of her.
"Why don't you tell me exactly what it is you think you saw," she began, "and I'll tell you what I can."
Han chuckled. "Ah, I see. Back to pretendin' you don't know what I'm talking about? Fine."
He took a long drink of his kaffe before continuing. "Verlaine shows up, and you've got holodrama face all of a sudden."
This should be interesting. "Holodrama face?"
"You know, like on those holodramas where nobody says anything, but someone walks into a room and another being is like 'oh it's my nemesis' or 'oh no my long lost twin' or 'I have a terrible past and here's the only other person who knows' or 'I'm knocked up with your secret love child'." Han made a series of dramatic expressions as he spoke each line, in a couple of cases throwing his head back for emphasis.
Leia couldn't help but laugh, and she turned an arched eyebrow on Han. "What in the stars have you been watching?"
"Hey, a man gets bored on a long run, finds himself watchin' Pirates of Coronet, don't judge." Han smiled over his mug of kaffe. "And quit changin' the subject. Point is, Verlaine shows up and for a few minutes there you're actin' like Luke when he's got too many fake names to memorize."
Oh, no. If that was true, it was bad. Luke tended to get a distinct fathier-in-headlights look about him when the aliases on a mission got to be too much.
She went for a little humor. "Well, I can tell you I'm not carrying Evaan's secret love child."
It worked; Han laughed.
But then he said, "Interesting, that you picked that one," and let a long silence pass, presumably so Leia could explain herself.
Fine. Leia sighed. "Well," she began, "it's been a while since we've…interacted."
Han was leaning back in his seat, seemingly waiting for her to say more.
"Since you got back from Espirion?" he finally prompted her.
She nodded. "Yes. At least, actually seeing each other in person. We've mostly been on encoded comms, back and forth."
There had been quite a few messages, but Leia had kept to business. And she'd wanted to prove she had been serious about the new leader of the Alderaanian survivors having the autonomy to actually lead. Leia had by no means abandoned her commitment to her people, but the civilian survivors needed leadership who could be there with them day to day, and that was the path Evaan had chosen.
Han's eyes narrowed slightly, like he didn't quite buy this as an excuse for her awkwardness.
"Huh. Just, I've seen you in plenty of these kinds of meetings, with princes and dukes and high grand muckety-mucks, and I've never seen you freeze like that before."
Leia had a moment of mild horror. "I froze?"
"Just for a second," Han assured her.
Leia shook her head, trying to bring her mind back to what she'd been thinking of as Evaan had joined the meeting. Hundreds of thoughts had been flitting through her brain, no different than normal, though during a mission strategy meeting she could usually herd them into a useful order.
She sipped her kaffe to give herself a bit more time to respond, and to weigh where Han's mood was. If she admitted to something, was she just going to be teased mercilessly for it, or would it be worth the risk?
Screw it. He'd already read her like a cheap flimsi.
"I think," she began slowly, "I think…well, Evaan sometimes hasn't had the most stellar opinion of me."
Han's face briefly did something unreadable, but he swallowed whatever it was down, so she continued. "And I think that changed, during our…mission."
She knew it had changed. And mission was doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence. It had been more than a mission, for both of them, at least for a little while.
"But—I don't know," Leia continued. "I guess I was worried about what she thinks, now that I've gone back to the Rebellion."
Han nodded, but then he said, “You’re the Princess, ain’t she the one who’s s’posed to be worried about what you think about her?”
Leia wanted to laugh at that, agree with a You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But she was still busy replaying all the nuances of the earlier interaction in her head, starting with the rather stilted greeting she'd managed to give Evaan.
“It’s complicated,” she said finally, trying for a casual nonchalance. She even threw in a little shrug that she’d definitely picked up from Han.
“I gathered,” he replied, chuckling slightly. “Usually is, with exes.”
Leia felt her eyes widen at how easily Han had clocked that, and her worry over the awkward moment with Evaan began to morph into a question about just how many other people on base had also figured that out. It had really been more of a moment than a relationship, but Leia didn't feel right dismissing it as a fling, either.
“You wanna talk about it?” he asked.
She smiled wryly. "There's not really anything to talk about. It happened, it's over, we ended on good terms. Unlike you and some of your exes."
Han shook his head at that. "I take you to a nice warm ship, give you a good cup of kaffe, and this is how you repay me. Throwin' Sana Starros in my face."
"You're just mad because Sana likes me better than she likes you," Leia shot back.
"Now she likes you better," Han corrected. "You saved her life. Besides, she liked me just fine, back in the day."
"Back before you left her at the altar?" Leia teased.
"It. Was. A. Job," Han returned, shaking his head again. "And don't think I didn't notice what you're doin' there. We were talkin' about you and Verlaine."
Leia didn't know why she kept changing the subject, kept slipping back into the banter that had become so familiar between the two of them. Despite her hesitation, there was a little part of her that actually wanted to talk about this. She'd never really shared what had happened between her and Evaan with anyone but Evaan. Sometimes it felt like maybe she'd imagined the whole thing.
(She hadn't; she could still remember the few nights they'd spent together, the way Evaan's hair had caught the little snatches of ambient light in the cabin, the strength and gentleness of her hands. Her voice, arguing, laughing, sighing—)
Leia pushed away those thoughts to focus on the conversation at hand.
"Okay. Well, Evaan. At first we fought. Pretty sure the only reason she tolerated me was out of respect for my mother. Or royalty, or something. She thought I was a cold, heartless bitch, thought I didn't really care about my parents, or about Alderaan." Leia found herself flinching at those words; she wouldn't be surprised if there were people on base who still thought that of her. Her grief had been private, and overwhelming, and it still made her furious to think people assumed it wasn't even there.
"But then we decided to leave, to find the Alderaanians before the Empire did," she continued.
Han was smiling. "Helluva mission, I gotta hand that one to you. Took some guts."
She smiled back. "Thank you." Having just come off her ordeal on the Death Star and the Battle of Yavin, at the time it hadn't fully sunk in how bold that had been, for her to defy Dodonna's orders and go to warn her people, especially given the bounty on her head. She'd just known she needed to do something, to act.
"So, on the mission, we got to know each other better—you know how it is." It's how she and Han had become friends; nothing like a few life-or-death encounters together to help break the ice.
"Sure."
"Anyway, things sort of just…progressed. We were allies, and then friends, and then more, and then it was over, in about a week."
That description sure made it sound like a fling, now that she'd said it, but it had felt like more. Like the exhilaration of acting together to save their people had opened something up in Leia. It hadn't just been about danger or thrill, but about discovery, about understanding each other deeply. Connecting.
(Although it hadn't only been about that kind of deep connection. Evaan was also incredibly fucking hot, after all.)
"If you don't mind sayin'," Han asked, "what ended it?"
“I couldn’t be what she needed," Leia admitted. There was probably another life in which she'd left with Evaan and helped lead the Alderaanian survivors, but it was far away from this one. "I couldn't stay; I had to come back. We need the Rebellion, now more than ever. I'm needed here. That's how I'm best able to serve my people."
"Ah."
Han had a thoughtful look on his face, but he didn't say anything for a good couple of minutes, and they drank their kaffe in silence.
Finally he said, "Got a question for you. Is that Rebellion first, Alderaan second, other way around, or is it a tie?"
When Leia didn't answer right away, he added, "I'm just wonderin'—where's Leia in all this?"
Leia could feel the scowl forming on her face.
"I'm here," she insisted, feeling a bit impatient with him. "It was my choice to continue Alderaan's legacy by fighting for the Rebellion."
Han was nodding again, like he'd finally figured something out.
"Verlaine figured you wrong," he said, "back at first. When you met. You're about the farthest thing from heartless I can think of." He raised his eyebrows. "But that's what's got you so rattled. Little part of you's worried, maybe original Verlaine was right. 'Cause you chose comin' back here. 'Cause you didn't choose her."
"I'm not rattled," Leia insisted. Although that analysis didn't seem terribly far off the mark.
"Holodrama face," he reminded her, and chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "For the record, Verlaine was a little rattled herself."
"Now you tell me."
Han shrugged. "Not for long, either of you. And now we have a mission."
"Now we have a mission," Leia repeated. The briefing actually had gone rather well, once they'd gotten past that awkward moment in the beginning.
"Leia," Han said, shaking her from yet another mental replay of the briefing.
His face was uncharacteristically serious. "You're pretty fuckin' hard on yourself sometimes. Just remember you're worth fightin' for, too. And not just because of the princess thing."
Then he relaxed back into that familiar crooked grin. "In fact—sometimes I think the princess thing is the least interesting thing about you." He gave her a little wink. "Bet Verlaine thought so, too."
Leia wasn't sure what expression was on her face in response to that, but Han evidently found it very amusing. "Don't worry, not gonna say a word," he promised, getting up from the table.
He gestured towards her mug. "More kaffe?"
Leia didn't really know what to make of this man sometimes, but she couldn't help but smile as she handed him her empty mug. "Sure, why not?"