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Greg and Rose meet in the 90s. It’s a different time, a lot of people will say. Society was different. The world was a different place than, say, the 2010s. In just a decade hundreds of millions of people would die, and hundreds, millions more would be born.
Death brought with it change. Pearl was not a fan.
Like the years changed, seasons changed, and Rose in turn found new things to entertain her; some of which were men, some of which were women. It was a little bit odd. Humans didn’t live even a fraction of what a gem could. They didn’t have a lot to offer in terms of time, and even less in terms of conversation. Their customs changed as quickly as the weather. It was always something new with them, as if they were trying to make up time they hadn't even lost yet. Always making up for the things they would never do, it seemed. Pearl thought it was sad, a little bit. Rose found it beautiful.
Pearl preferred others markers of earth; the flowers, the animals. The way the sky changed its color and how the ocean tides waned in and out over their shore. Humans were deserving enough to live, and love, but not interesting enough to go out of her way to talk to. Maybe she preferred just to watch, without getting involved.
Rose wanted to be in the center of it. She needed to feel, touch. Life was an experience and Rose wanted all it had to offer, and then she wanted more on top of that. It wasn’t greed. It wasn’t. It was an appreciation, and maybe curiosity. It was admiration and love.
It was rarely Rose’s love that gave out first. Usually, it was the people. Time wore away at them. Their skin deteriorated, their bones were buried. A human's body, unlike a gem, seemed to have a hundred different stages. Even in death they were changing. And even in death, Rose was enamored. Many considered it a natural cycle. Humans dying was as common as Rose and her love for them, they coexist the best that they can.
Funerals are collected like wilting flowers. Dirt piles on top of dirt, on top of corpses. This is how love and death coexist. This, and the flimsy idea that there is something more waiting after death, something that is not just dirt piled on top of dirt, on top of bodies. Pearl doesn’t think of religion in relation to her. Gems aren’t meant to die in the first place. Pearl doesn't plan to be buried. When she dies she imagines that it will be so far into the future, no one will be left to mourn her. And as for after, Pearl doesn´t know. And she doesn´t think about it.
Greg Universe first shows face in the early 90s. Something about a rock band (except it's not really a band, hm? It´s more of a one-man-show, and the show is more of a comedy, and the whole thing is really not that good). Something about him Rose finds hilarious. She laughs at everything he says, even when Pearl is positive some of the things aren't supposed to be jokes; Amethyst says she's laughing at him when that happens. But only when that happens. Other times sheś quiet. She leans down and holds him, caresses his face as if he was more delicate than he actually is, dances with him and looks at him as if he wasn't just another human- one out of billions. There were probably a million Greg Universes out there. But Pearl, there was only one of her on earth.
Greg knew Rose, sure, and they talked, yes. But Rose was just another pipe dream Greg Universe had put his stock into; another high-tail fantasy that he chases after just to have something to do this weekend. It was frustrating to watch it happen from the sidelines, trying to get her message across but being shut down every time. Greg drapes himself over Rose. Holds her just as closely as she holds him. Pearl screams silently from across the room, leave us alone!, and Greg gives Rose another kiss. Itś a song and dance that they do- pearl and greg- it´s a dance in the way they pull on each other's arms, step on each other's toes, completely off beat with the melody- this is hardly a dance at all, but they might as well keep going as long as the record keeps playing.
The music in the background played a variety of different things. There was one song that Pearl always, always recognized; the familiar tune of jealousy. It played in her mind on an unpleasant loop. Spite, spite, spite. A bubbling intensity of frustration not just at Greg for staying- but at Rose. For letting him. It took two to cause a scene, after all, and Rose was always touching Greg just as much as he touched her.
He’d really made himself at home.
It’s one thing to handle when Rose is present and there to keep balance, but it’s a whole different thing once she dies. Pearl has witnessed funerals piled atop funerals- bodies buried under bodies- she’s seen the many ways death sews grief, in both herself and others. But Rose’s death is so world-shakingly devastating it’s as if the entire earth itself has been killed. Pearl's thoughts of the time range from unpleasant to- well. Cruel in ways unable to be expressed out loud. But she’ll try to explain it. Express it.
The first thing she feels is fear. Even before Rose dies, Pearl is mourning. She is waiting for the inevitable to become reality.
And once she does, Pearl cries. She cries, endlessly, forever, and even when the tears stop she is still crying.
Anger feels natural, familiar. There’s a clear cause to this, which paints blame. There’s a cruel irony that the thing Rose fought so hard to save, in a way, killed her. Pearl feels as though she has witnessed a crime that she cannot name.
Buried underneath everything else there’s shame and regret, both of them tangle with the other. It’s a mess of connecting emotions, so close they may as well melt into one. Pearl imagines a world where maybe they stayed on homeworld, the two of them. Miserable, but safe. Lost, but together. Then Pearl realizes it wouldn’t have mattered, Rose would have died all the same. It was always the people closest to the gem that would crush her in their grip.
Once Rose is gone, the crystal gem´s fragile sense of domesticity is taken from them, and with it something new is made. It takes a long time for the adjustment to happen, and even once they achieve a functional routine, emotions run rampant. Loose ends, instead of being tied, are left hanging. We´ll handle that later, Pearl thinks about a list of problems. Pink diamond, the other living diamonds, the discourse with Greg and every other secret Pearl holds so close to her chest, they're all set gently to the side. Wrapped in boxes and tied with bows. A box, inside of a box, inside of a box, is where she keeps them. Later, she tells herself.
But later is an eternity away. There is a future that reaches on, and on- there is no happy ending, just an end completely out of sight, inevitable and all consuming.