Chapter Text
Chapter 1 - Welcome!
Dazai created a new group
Dazai added 4 users
Kunikida - What the hell Dazai! Stop bothering me.
Dazai - now now cuntykida. Ti's is but a mere gc for everyone
Dazai - Anyways......
Dazai changed Kunikida's name to Party pooper
Party pooper - Dazai.......
Yosano - What did I just walk into
Ranpo - YOSANO U CRAZY LESBO U PROMISED TO GIVE ME CANDY
Yosano - Dazai check ur dms
Yosano & Dazai's dms
Yosano - Dazai change Ranpo's name to Type 1 Diabetes he's pmo
Dazai - and what did I get in return sweet sweet Yosano dear
Yosano - you get to live another day and avoid a painful death today
Dazai - Yep 🙂 (😰)
GC
Dazai changed Ranpo's name to Type 1 Diabetes
Dazai changed 2 users names
Dazai renamed group chap's name to Dazai's Clubhouse
Crazy Lebanese - DAZAI KYS
Dazai - I wish T^T
Furry Y/N - I GO OFFLINE FOR 1 FUCKING MINUTE AND I GET BOMBARDED WITH TEXTS
Furry Y/N - wait why my name different
Furry Y/N - OH FUCK YOU DAZAI
Dazai - nahhh that's yor emo twink goth bf's job
Furry Y/N - IM NOT DATING THAT LITTLE ANNOYING JERK HES PMO
Dazai - woah defensive much
Crazy Lebanese - Yhhh dazai for once has a point
Type 1 Diabetes - ^^
Party pooper - ^^^
Furry Y/N - WHAAAAAT. U TOO KUNIKIDA
Party pooper - yeah, it's logical
Furry Y/N - screw of all of you
Type 1 Diabetes - OK Lesbo give me my candy
Crazy Lebanese - no.
Type 1 Diabetes - fine 😒
Chuuya added Chuuya to Dazai's Clubhouse
Dazai - wut...
Dazai - Oh don't you gohst me u fucking think I can see ur fatass is online
Chuuya - yh u better compliment my ass
Dazai - nahhh the cùnt's better
Party pooper - can I seriously not be a part of your guys' flirting, it's weird.
Type 1 Diabetes - I mean
Furry Y/N - he ain't wrong tho
Party pooper- EXCUSE ME
Crazy Lebanese - dotn worry kunikida, this is a compliment
Chuuya changed Dazai's name to Suicidal maniac
Suicidal maniac - OK I see how it is then
Suicidal maniac changes Chuuya's name to Loyal (short) Dog
Loyal (short) Dog - OK OSAMU DAZAI WTF
Suicidal maniac - Calm down and bark fir me like a good boy
Loyal (short) Dog - Fuck off 🖕
Suicidal maniac - rather w/ u bae ////^v^////
Loyal (short) Dog - shut. Ur. Emoti- using-con up rn
Suicidal maniac - or what
Loyal (short) Dog - I'll backshot u so hard you won't be able to walk for a month
Suicidal maniac - nahhh that's a reward
Type 1 Diabetes - wat 😨
Suicidal maniac - no just hear me out
Suicidal maniac - he'll have to serve me hand and foot
Suicidal maniac - and those must be legendary I'd they put me ot of commission for a month
Suicidal maniac - either way it's a win-win for me
Crazy Lebanese - never a dull moment with either of you huh
Party pooper - more like with any one of us
Suicidal maniac - ngl this is boring let me just
Suicidal maniac added 10 users to Dazai's Clubhouse
Suicidal maniac changed 10 users' names
Bun-bun - wait, why am I added
Furry Y/N - kyouka, is that u?
Bun-bun - Atshii
Furry Y/N - Yup
You are my sunshine - HIIIIYYAAAAA KYOUKA
You are my sunshine - HIIIIYYAAAAA EVERYONE
Bun-bun - Hi kenji 😊
The Diddler - Why dj we get a basic ass hello
The Diddler - WAIT WTF IS MY USER
The Diddler - Right, who did this
The Diddler - HUBBY COME ONLINE RN WE HAVE A PROBLEM
The Diddler - WIFEY COME ONLINE RIGHT THIS ISNTANT YOUR DARLING DARLING MORI IS SUFFERING RN
Ginger ale- wait whose ur wife/husband
Emo Ceo - He's Fukuzawa who is in a middle of a lecture important for his masters degree so stfu Mori
The Diddler - So ur saying that a stupid piece of paper is more important to him MOI. HIS DARLING DARLING MORI
Emo Ceo - OK FUHH U
Suicidal maniac - OK but can we get back to he pint where CHUUYA OF ALL PPLL MANAGED TO ADD HIMSELF TO MY GC
Loyal (short) Dog - first if all rude. Second of all ✨️✨️✨️magic✨️✨️✨️
Suicidal maniac - TEACH MEEEEE
Ginatonic - mee tooooooooo
Loyal (short) Dog - okkkk gin dear
Ginatonic - YAY
Suicidal maniac - but what about meeeeeeee
Loyal (short) Dog - fuck u osamu
Suicidal maniac - CHIBI IS SO ABUSIVE TO ME
No.1 fangirl - so why don't u just dump him
Suicidal maniac - Never u akutagawa meat rider
Ginatonic - 😲
Crazy Lebanese - 😲
Soccer mom - 😲
The Diddler - 😲
Party pooper - 😲
You are my sunshine - 😲
Lemonhead - 😲
Furry Y/N - 😲
Ginger ale - 😲
Loyal (short) Dog - 😲
Bun-bun - why are we just spamming the same thing
You are my sunshine - idk it just seems fun
Bun-bun - OK tyy kenji 😊
You are my sunshine - np kyouka 😋
Bun-bun - 😲
Emo Ceo - 😲
Malewife - I just got out of my lecture what on earth could you guys have been talking about that could have possibly caused this
The Diddler - UR BACK BBG
The Diddler- anywho just look up
Malewife - ohh
Malewife - 😲
Suicidal maniac - Ty guys
Suicidal maniac - ily especially u chibiko
Suicidal maniac - can I cuddle with my bf
Loyal (short) Dog - fine (yes pls pls pls)
Type 1 Diabetes - Get ur gay ass outta here
Ginatonic - what r u sum sort of homophobe
Party pooper - mind u only 2 hetero people are here
Type 1 Diabetes - yhhh
Ginger ale - but only to dazai and yosano (mainly yosano) so its fine
Type 1 Diabetes - my type is tall twinks so I'm good
*authors note: VERY SUBTLE FORESHADOWING
Malewife - fair
Malewife - also @gurlytellthetea why were you calling me earlier
The Diddler - just wanted to annoy u
Malewife - .....
The Diddler - ily
1 user went offline
Suicidal maniac - wow, ghosted
The Diddler - WOW FUCK U YIU BANDAGED MUMMIE