Work Text:
Junghwan saw it—him—again. He didn’t know how many times it had happened, but Junghwan never grew tired of seeing that dark mane and those jet-black eyes circling him, his whole life.
He always wondered—to himself, of course—about the identity of the creature that always approached him. He didn’t dare voice his curiosity since he was the only one who could see that thing. And yes, Junghwan was the only one who could see the man dressed entirely in dark clothes.
Now, lying in the hospital following his accident on stage, Junghwan saw once again the figure that had unconsciously captured his attention for so long. The man was standing beside his bed, muttering to himself in a funny way. Unaware that his behavior all this time was exactly what Junghwan had been waiting for and delighted to see.
Junghwan took a deep breath and steeled himself. He had been planning for a long time to introduce himself to the supernatural being—that’s why this accident had happened in the first place. He’d gone to the trouble of sabotaging his own stage, so he wasn’t going to let this golden opportunity slip away.
"My name is Junghwan," he said abruptly. "Can you stop calling me a 'clumsy idiot'? Oh, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to know your name too." Junghwan stared straight into the creature’s pitch-black eyes.
It was the first time Junghwan had openly acknowledged the other’s existence. And the creature never expected that Junghwan could see him, based on the look of surprise he now displayed.
The adorable creature glanced around to see if anyone else was in the room. But it didn't matter, since they were the only two beings in the room right now. Besides, this creature was the only one who cared enough to care for Shin Junghwan in his pitiful state.
“Y—you!?” the creature shrieked, pointing at Junghwan with those wide, beautiful eyes. “How is that possible?! You’re not dead yet, are you?” In an instant, the adorable—and surprisingly small—creature’s hands began to examine Junghwan’s body.
“You’re still alive,” he murmured softly to himself. “But how is that possible? How can you see me?” Now its eyes turned to stare intently at Junghwan.
Junghwan could only manage a faint smile. Ever since he was a child, he had always believed this creature was his very own angel of death. With its dark, ominous appearance, how could Junghwan possibly see it in a positive light? Moreover, this creature always appeared right after Junghwan had survived a life-threatening accident. So he had to draw that conclusion on his own.
However, Junghwan was still alive. Even as he turned 23, he was still alive. That meant this adorable creature Junghwan always saw around him wasn't his angel of death. And this creature was so attentive to him, too—even with all the grumbling and complaining. Still, compared to the humans who were supposed to be Junghwan’s own parents, this adorably sweet creature went out of its way to care for him. He became addicted to his presence.
That was the origin of his crazy idea to sabotage his own stage performance. To meet this sweet angel, his sweet angel.
“Why are you grinning like that?” the creature asked in disbelief. “Did that falling stage lamp hit your head?” He reached out to stroke Junghwan’s hair, perhaps checking for a wound on his head.
Junghwan reached for the hand, smaller than his own, to hold it. “You’ve been with me ever since back then,” Junghwan tried to sit up. “Since the first accident when I was 5, right?”
The creature seemed uneasy. He avoided Junghwan’s gaze and tried to pull away from Junghwan’s hand. But there was no way Junghwan was going to let go. That soft hand fit so perfectly in his grip that Junghwan was reluctant to release it.
“Who are you, really?” Junghwan asked, but a moment later he shook his head slowly. “What are you, really?”
The creature sighed in resignation after what seemed like a moment of internal struggle. His gaze met Junghwan’s with a determined look. There was a sparkle in the eyes of his beloved angel—if Junghwan were to exaggerate, he might say there was a blaze of fire in them.
“My name is Dohoon,” he said aloud, squeezing Junghwan’s hand—out of nervousness, perhaps. “I am the angel assigned to protect you, you reckless fool.”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Three weeks had passed since he learned that cute angel’s name. Dohoon was his name. Junghwan never grew tired of repeating that name in his mind over and over.
Junghwan missed him. It had been two weeks since he last saw the angel. He didn’t know how to soothe this aching heart. He racked his brain for every possible way to win his angel’s heart and attention.
He was idly tapping the keys of his piano when that brilliant—crazy—idea popped into his head. He hesitated a little because, so far, the angel had only appeared in life-or-death situations, but Junghwan decided to go ahead with his plan anyway. Whatever the outcome, as long as he could see his angel again, he didn’t care.
Standing beside the grand piano his grandmother had given him, Junghwan wondered how many fingers he should sacrifice to catch the angel’s attention. Five—perhaps that would be enough?
With one hand gripping the prop that held the piano lid in place and the other hand resting beneath the grand piano’s lid—ready to get crushed. Junghwan counted in his head to pull the prop away. Right on the third count, and just as the prop was no longer holding the piano lid, Junghwan felt a strong gust of wind hit him, and his hand—already poised for injury—was yanked violently.
BOOM!
“ARE YOU CRAZY?!”
That loud scream echoed alongside the sound of the piano lid slamming down—it should have crushed Junghwan’s fingers. But it didn’t.
Because his angel had arrived.
Junghwan was stunned that his plan had worked. Not perfectly, mind you. But it had succeeded in making his beloved angel come to him.
“You came.”
“Of course, you idiot!” his angel—his Dohoon—replied with intense emotion. “What on earth is going through your head?! You’re a musician, Shin Junghwan! What would happen to you if something happened to your hands?!”
“I don’t care about that,” Junghwan replied, still trying to greedily gaze at the being in front of him. “Being a musician was never my choice.” He was so overjoyed! His Dohoon cared so much about him!
Dohoon stared blankly at Junghwan. Perhaps cursing his fate for being stuck looking after a person like Shin Junghwan.
“Please, stop destroying yourself,” Dohoon said, gripping tightly the hand that, had he been even a fraction of a second late, would have been crushed like a crumbled cracker.
Dohoon brought Junghwan’s hands up to his small face. The sweet angel’s eyes were glistening, then he bowed his head to hide his face from him, not wanting Junghwan to see. “Stop acting so reckless, please,” Dohoon whispered softly.
“Then, stay with me.”
Dohoon’s breath caught at that request. “Don’t ask for impossible things like that,” he said, narrowing his deep black eyes at Junghwan.
Beautiful. Everything about his angel was so beautiful and perfect that he couldn’t look away.
And yes, Shin Junghwan was aware of it. Fully aware that the two of them were beings with different functions and natures. Being together wasn’t something that came naturally to them. Dohoon had even gently explained that to Junghwan. They sat in the window nook in the corner of the room. The two of them were still holding hands, though now it was Junghwan who was holding his angel's.
“It’s not normal, but not impossible, is it?”
Dohoon remained silent, not answering. Junghwan smiled sweetly because his words weren’t denied.
“You know? I’m so lonely, Dohoonie,” he whined to the angel with a feigned, pitiful expression.
"So go find some friends out there, you idiot." Dohoon playfully pinched the man’s arm.
Sighing dramatically, Junghwan said, "People..." pausing briefly to build dramatic tension. "Are so hard to socialize with."
"That’s just you acting like a lunatic!" Dohoon turned to pinch Shin Junghwan’s cheeks angrily. "If only you’d stop giving people that look, they’d be more than happy to approach you!"
"What look?" Junghwan asked with his usual feigned innocence.
“A look like you think they’re insignificant pebbles in front of you! A cold stare that makes people reluctant to even say hello to you!”
Now Dohoon was pacing back and forth in front of Junghwan, gesturing wildly with his hands to explain Shin Junghwan’s annoying behavior. Junghwan chuckled softly, gazing at his angel.
How could he have such a cute angel?
“There! Just like that!” Dohoon pointed suddenly. “If only you smiled like that at people, they’d definitely want to be friends with you!”
Junghwan just smiled and replied, “But this expression is only for Dohoon to see.”
Smack!
The top of his head was smacked hard, making Junghwan wince slightly.
“Stop acting like a sociopath! It’s a waste to have such a gorgeous face but such a terrible personality!”
“Gorgeous face, huh?” Junghwan asked with a meaningful smile.
His sweet, angelic cheeks were flushed. Junghwan didn’t know angels could blush like that. But he wouldn’t complain, because his Dohoon looked so adorable with that red flush adorning his cheeks. Junghwan liked being the reason for those flushed cheeks.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Dohoon said, looking away. “Y—you could easily attract a lot of attention with a face like that—ah, screw it, even with your jerk-like behavior, you already have so many fans.” The blush spread all the way to his ears.
It made Junghwan gaze fondly at Dohoon’s antics. It also made him want to hold and lock that angel away so he’d never leave him again.
“Oh, that’s right,” Junghwan said, then made a gesture as if thinking. “If I’m not mistaken, you once called me 'pretty face' during my accident when I was 17? Or 18?”
Now Dohoon’s face was completely red. Junghwan felt like he could see smoke billowing from the angel’s head. He continued teasing Dohoon.
“How could you, right after I’d just been in a terrible accident, focus solely on my face instead?”
The accident happened a month before his eighteenth birthday. Junghwan still remembers the incident clearly.
He was sitting in a café and was facing the café’s glass wall, but quite a distance away from the entrance. He vaguely recalls the sound of a car horn amid the café’s bustling crowd. He remembers turning toward the glass just as the car sped right to him. He remembers the piercing sound of shattering glass and the screams of those around him as the car crashed into them. He also remembers his body, somehow, being thrown far enough backward to avoid being run over by the vehicle.
It must have been his guardian angel.
Although he was saved from being crushed by the car, he still couldn’t avoid the shards of glass that struck him. His face.
“Ah, it hit his pretty face,” Junghwan faintly heard someone mutter. He was on the verge of losing consciousness from the violent impact his body had taken. “Are you going to be okay, Shin Junghwan?”
He remembered clearly when the angel’s warm hand brushed the shards of glass from his hair.
Dohoon’s frustrated groan reached his ears. Junghwan laughed out loud as he watched the angel crouch down, hiding his head, which had turned red all the way down to his neck. He approached Dohoon and crouched down beside him, then ruffled the angel’s jet-black hair.
“So adorable,” Junghwan whispered right into his angel’s ear. Dohoon got goosebumps.
“STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRAZY HUMAN!” he screamed, pushing Junghwan until the man rolled onto his back on the music room floor, laughing heartily.
Dohoon just glared at the man who was laughing at him, pouting. Junghwan’s laughter only grew louder as he watched Dohoon’s silly expression.
He had fallen too deep and there was no way out.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
At the age of 25, Junghwan once again found himself on the brink of death.
He was in a car, on his way to the wedding of a close friend he’d met about two years ago. Yes, his guardian angel kept pushing Junghwan to find friends so he wouldn’t be lonely anymore.
Honestly, as long as Dohoon was by his side, Junghwan would never be lonely.
However, in the end, Junghwan obeyed the angel’s words when he was threatened that Dohoon would never return. At first, he thought the threat was just a joke.
Dohoon is his guardian angel, right? There’s no way he’d leave Junghwan in a critical situation, right? But it turns out Junghwan was dead wrong.
His angel’s stubbornness is unmatched. For about a month, Junghwan was driven to the brink of frustration. He staged all sorts of tragic accidents, yet not a single one could make Dohoon show his sweet face!
So Junghwan—as the more mature one—gave in to his angel. He started talking to people his own age at big events. Surprisingly, people turned out not to be as bad as he thought. Junghwan now has at least two people he can truly trust.
However, even after giving in, his dear angel still rarely spent time with Junghwan. And he didn’t like this—he didn’t like having to be so far away from his Dohoon for so long. He couldn’t accept having to just give in and do nothing while his Dohoon tried to distance himself from him.
And as luck would have it, Junghwan was currently in a car.
Heading to a wedding.
As he mentioned earlier, the wedding he’s attending is that of one of his two best friends, Choi Youngjae.
Coincidentally, the car driven by the family chauffeur is moving quite fast. Junghwan rests his head in his hand while glancing out the window. He gives a faint smile and, unconsciously, lets out a soft chuckle.
Coincidentally again, Junghwan had managed to tinker with the car—which the driver always maintained—earlier that morning without being noticed. Seriously, he had no personal issues with the driver, Junghwan just wanted to test something. To try something new, like...
Sabotaging the brakes on this car, perhaps.
He had predicted what would happen. So when they were going down the hill and the car wouldn’t stop, he stifled a chuckle, while the driver’s face turned deathly pale. Junghwan smiled, imagining he’d meet his angel soon, his eyes fixed on the blurry scenery outside the window as their car sped down the slope.
Heading toward his own death.
Oh, he really couldn’t be saved anymore, could he? Because he truly didn’t need to be saved by anyone except that sweet angel of his.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
His eyes opened.
Immediately, his gaze swept across the room, searching for the dark figure who had been the anchor of his life all this time. But there was nothing.
There was no sign of his sweet angel.
Junghwan blinked slowly, only then realizing his head was throbbing with pain. Even so, his face remained blank, expressionless even as he realized his parents were in the room with him.
It was because of them. It must be the presence of these two people that was keeping his Dohoon from showing himself.
Junghwan held back a frustrated sigh that nearly escaped his lips. He glanced briefly at his mother, who was calling for a doctor, and his father, who was staring back at him, then turned his face away from both of them.
“Mr. Bong didn’t make it,” his father’s heavy voice reached Junghwan’s ears.
Oh, what a tragic fate, Junghwan’s mind thought.
“What is your intention, Shin Junghwan?”
The question was delivered with emphasis on every word, causing Junghwan to glance at his father and offer a faint smile. He’d been found out, it seemed.
“Shh!” his mother interrupted. “What are you talking about?! Stop bothering your son who’s just woken up!” That half-shouted whisper made his father exhale roughly and rub his tired face.
“Your upbringing is driving this child crazy,” he accused his wife.
Shin Jieun, wearing a look of both shock and fury, pointed her index finger at her husband’s chest. “Look in the mirror first, you crazy old man! If you had been there to take care of that child all this time instead of dumping everything on me, then things like this wouldn’t have happened!”
And that’s how the two Shins always acted.
This child. That child. Shin Junghwan had never once been 'our child' in the eyes of his parents.
He was like an unwanted child, a disgusting being in their life.
Junghwan closed his eyes and tuned out the noise. Hoping a doctor or nurse—anyone—would come quickly and kick these two noisy people out. He just wanted to sleep forever...
That way he’d be with his lovely angel, right?
But could Junghwan really make it to heaven? Did he deserve to be by Dohoon’s side? After everything he’d done?
Oh, well, who cares? Even if he went to hell, nothing would keep him apart from his angel.
If anything, he was ready to burn anything that stood his way to the ground.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
In the middle of the night, he woke up to the gentle touch of a hand stroking his hair. Even before his eyes opened, Junghwan’s smile had already spread across his face. He tried to reach out toward the small hand that was tenderly caressing his head.
But only then did he realize that he couldn’t move either of his hands.
What a pity...
His eyes met Dohoon’s dark ones. The angel gazed at Junghwan with a sorrowful expression.
“Hi,” Junghwan said for the first time. His throat was so dry it caused him to cough painfully.
Dohoon quickly handed him a glass of water and helped him drink—one hand supporting Junghwan’s head and the other holding the glass up to his face. Without uttering a single word.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Dohoon’s somber expression. Junghwan spoke up after sipping his drink and settling into a comfortable position.
“Dohoonie—”
“Please stop,” Dohoon cut him off, his head bowed and his hands clutching the sheets tightly. “Please, don’t let yourself fall too deep again.”
Junghwan fell silent. He remained motionless for quite a while, keeping his eyes fixed on Dohoon, who never once looked back at him. Then he spoke softly, gently.
“But it’s all too late now, isn’t it?” he asked with a faded smile.
Obviously, Junghwan realized he had already fallen into the very depths of hell. He realized he had just taken someone’s life—someone innocent. He realized that he didn’t even feel guilty about it.
His soul was already corrupted, already tainted.
Everything suddenly went dark as his angel clung tightly to him. Junghwan couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face. He was too overjoyed in the warm embrace to think about the sin he had committed.
The embrace tightened.
Junghwan mourned his damaged hands, as they were incapable of returning such a tender embrace. But it’s fine, every desire comes with a price, doesn’t it? His hands were part of that price.
A fair price for Shin Junghwan.
“Stop it, please,” Dohoon pleaded desperately. “Stop thinking and doing things that will make it impossible for me to save you anymore.”
Stop and please—those words kept being pleaded to him like a prayer. Junghwan didn’t mind at all. He would never grow tired or bored of hearing Dohoon’s melodious voice.
Junghwan felt something hit his ear—tears. It startled him for a moment, then he buried his head against his angel’s chest in a soothing gesture. Although the sob was barely noticeable, Junghwan could still hear it. He pressed his head deeper into Dohoon’s embrace, as his angel wept in silence.
Junghwan could only listen for the slightest sound his angel made, without daring to disturb the stillness that accompanied them.
All he heard was a tearful sob.
And what he realized afterwards was the absence of a heartbeat.
Junghwan closed his eyes. He let his entire weight fall into his angel's embrace. His heart sank once again as he realized that they were truly two different beings.
A human whose heart was now utterly shattered and an ethereal being whose heart no longer could beat.
But that feeling of sadness lasted only a moment. Joy returned to his heart, which began to beat even faster, the moment he realized that his angel cared, so very deeply.
Junghwan vowed that he would outsmart even Death itself just to be with his Dohoon for a moment longer.