Chapter Text
Antonia felt exhausted, but not tired enough to dare close her eyes and sleep. And even if she tried, she wouldn't find enough peace to rest. Her mind kept jumping from one thought to another, even more unsettling ones that took her breath away.
She was scared, truly terrified. If she stood up, her legs would start trembling again, so she decided to stay seated. But that wouldn't calm her heart, which pounded so hard she thought someone could hear it outside her cell.
Three days had passed since she had been arrested at her workplace, under the disappointed and pitying gaze of her colleagues. Although the only gaze that mattered to her was Aziraphella's, whose face was etched with horror.
Just remembering it made Antonia want to cry, but she held it back. She thought she had to maintain her composure under these circumstances. That was one of the few pieces of good advice her mother had ever given her, though acknowledging it also stirred up a lot of emotions.
"Crowley, you have a visitor," a voice called from afar, and a guard immediately approached Antonia's cell, followed by a blonde woman wearing a tartan trench coat.
"Azi..." Antonia said, her voice breaking, feeling that now she really wouldn't be able to hold back her tears.
"Hello, dear," Aziraphella said, doing her best not to cry. She didn't want to burden Antonia with her own emotions, knowing that she was already dealing with tremendous emotional turmoil. "May I speak with her alone?" she asked the guard, who nodded and started to leave.
Antonia was surprised but remembered that, although she tried to appear as just another employee at the company, Aziraphella also owned some of its shares. She was an heiress, after all. Perhaps she had used her wealth to visit her without any problems.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Antonia said, lowering her gaze. “If they see you with me, they might find a way to blame you too.”
“Don’t say that. Neither you nor I are guilty of anything,” Aziraphella said, approaching the cell bars. Through one of the gaps, she extended her hand toward Antonia.
Antonia shed a few tears at this gesture, and quickly stood up and ran to her beloved, taking her hand.
“Angel, I swear I didn’t do anything wrong,” she said as clearly as her sobs allowed.
“I know, dear,” Aziraphella said, also crying, but smiling at Antonia. “And I swear I’ll do everything in my power to get you out of here.”
“But you’ll get in trouble with your family.”
“That doesn’t matter now, I’ll sort it out later,” Aziraphella said, sliding her other hand to Antonia’s face to wipe away her tears. “Besides, my grandmother has no power over my decisions. Much less now that I have part of my mother’s inheritance. So I can hire as many people as necessary to get you out of here.”
“You’ll spend on me the money you wanted to use to fund an orphanage,” Antonia said, her heart aching.
“The orphanage has been one of my dreams since my mother passed away,” Aziraphella said, her voice heavy with sadness at the memory. “But it can wait a little longer. What matters most to me now is that you’re safe.”
Antonia felt guilty for putting Aziraphella in this situation, but she knew she herself didn’t have enough money to hire someone skilled enough to truly help her get out. Antonia then closed her eyes and rested her head against the bars.
Aziraphella did the same, leaning against Antonia, and they remained silent, longing for even a brief moment of peace amidst all this torment. But Aziraphella opened her eyes and looked down at Antonia's neck.
"Where's your necklace?" she asked, surprised not to see the necklace with a gray pearl that she had given Antonia for their anniversary.
"One of the police officers took it from me when they brought me in here. He said it was to prevent anyone else from stealing it... I'm sorry," Antonia said, looking down, feeling terrible for not having protected her precious necklace better.
"Don't worry, I'll get it back," Aziraphella said, smiling.
"I'm just causing you more and more trouble," Antonia said sadly.
"Of course not, dear. You and I support each other whenever we need it, no matter what. And I'll never stop, especially not now."
Antonia wanted to say something else, but just then they heard the guard's footsteps approaching. They separated but didn't let go of each other's hands.
"I'm sorry, Miss McFell, but visiting time is over," said the guard as he arrived at the cell.
“I understand, thank you very much,” Aziraphella said. “I’ll be back soon, and this time with the best lawyer. I promise,” she told Antonia, who nodded with a small smile.
Then, the women slowly let go of each other’s hands, and Antonia felt her heart sink as she watched Aziraphella walk away. She trusted her beloved’s words, but she felt terrible guilt for dragging her into her troubles. In the end, her mother was right; she only brought misfortune to others.
“You’ve been very quiet. What is it?” a voice said, bringing Antonia back to reality after she had been lost in her memories of what had happened five years ago.
“Nothing,” she said, as she finished putting the shoes away on the shelves.
“It’s been five years these days since they threw you in jail, hasn’t it?” the woman said, smiling mockingly. “The great professional who wouldn’t be like her failure of a mother, that’s what you said.”
“At least I actually studied something. You got kicked out of high school,” Antonia said, clearly intending to provoke her cousin.
Hestia had been incredibly unbearable ever since Antonia had returned to her life, though she hadn't come back by choice, but out of necessity. Otherwise, even if they paid her, Antonia wouldn't be anywhere near her family. She detested them.
“And what the fuck did it do you if you turned out to be just as much of a rat as your mother, huh?” Hestia said, furious.
Antonia took ten seconds to calm down, though it was such a task, but she had to do it to avoid punching Hestia in the face. That would only hurt her even more, and she couldn't afford to keep disappointing her angel after all her efforts to get her out of jail.
“Whatever. My shift ends right now. I'm leaving,” Antonia said, stacking the boxes in a corner, grabbing her backpack, and leaving.
“Aunt Fer said it was your turn to help her with you-know-what today,” Hestia said, calming down as well.
Antonia sighed.
“Why me?” she said, though it was a question she was asking herself.
“You’re the graduate in the family,” Hestia said, mocking her.
Antonia dropped her backpack to the floor with a thud and went upstairs to the second floor of the shoe store. There was her aunt Lucia Fernanda’s office, or as she usually called her, Lucifer.
“Need anything?” Antonia asked once she was inside, hoping her aunt would tell her she didn’t.
“Oh, hello, darling. Come here,” Lucifer said with a smile that might have seemed genuine, but Antonia knew it wasn’t.
Antonia went in and sat down in one of the chairs in front of her aunt’s desk, who was sitting behind it, watching her expectantly.
“You know how this is. You’re so smart you only needed me to explain it once,” she said, her smile widening. Then, Lucifer took the laptop she was using and gave it to Antonia, who, without another word, began working on it.
Her aunt was right; she didn’t need any more explanation to do what she had to do. More than two years ago, she had come to her aunt’s business begging for a job, and her aunt had only agreed to give it to her because Antonia was so good with finances, and that was exactly what Lucifer needed.
The shoe store her aunt managed was actually a front for certain businesses that had to be kept secret. They were responsible for money laundering from dangerous sources, transforming it into clean, usable cash. And it was Antonia who would make sure the accounts balanced, no matter what.
Antonia, of course, wasn’t happy about doing this. She knew that getting involved in this kind of thing put her at risk of going back to jail, and this time, staying there for a long time. But she had no other choice, since no one would hire her because of her criminal record, and she needed the money so she and Aziraphella could make ends meet.
Her beloved angel had spent a large portion of her money to secure a parole agreement for Antonia. And after obtaining it, Aziraphella's family decided to disinherit her and cut her out of their lives. So, Aziraphella and she were left with nothing and had to start over, which was difficult because everyone labeled them thieves and swindlers.
Aziraphella had found a job as a bakery assistant, in addition to giving occasional private lessons. She often told Antonia that she was fine with that, that she had never cared about money and that all she wanted was to build a life with her. But that didn't ease the guilt Antonia felt. She had taken everything from the woman she loved.
Antonia finished her work and returned the laptop to Lucifer, who smiled with satisfaction.
"You never disappoint me, Jezabel," said Lucifer, and Antonia bit her tongue.
She hated being called by her middle name, since that was also her mother's name. But she never complained about it to Lucifer, because the fewer disagreements she had with her, the better. Even her mother knew it was best to keep the peace with her.
"I have to go now," she said, getting up from her chair.
"Yes, they're probably waiting for you at home," said Lucifer, which made Antonia even more tense, since she didn't like her family knowing about Aziraphella. She wanted to keep her away from them as much as possible.
"See you later," she said, and left the office.
There was no one downstairs, and she imagined Hestia must have gone to visit the neighbor she was trying to seduce. But that wasn't her problem; Aunt Lucifer would scold her if she found out.
Antonia grabbed her backpack and left the shoe store, happy to be able to get away from that awful place and go back home, to Aziraphella's arms.
As she walked, Antonia reflected on how lucky she was to have met her angel. It had been a stroke of luck to get into that company as an intern, and Aziraphella had liked the way they worked as a team so much that she had insisted Antonia be hired permanently.
Of course, things with the company ended terribly, but even then, Aziraphella stayed by her side. That's why Antonia wanted to do her best to give Aziraphella a good life, but it was proving too difficult. And she didn't dare tell her what was happening at her aunt's shoe store.
Antonia sighed and kept walking. She would find a way to fix everything.
When she arrived home, a small apartment in a not-so-safe building, she was surprised that everything was quiet. Aziraphella usually had the radio on to listen to music, but not that night.
Aziraphella sat on the sofa. She looked unsettlingly serious, even worried, and Antonia caught that worry.
"Did something happen, angel? Did Berenice call?" she asked as she put her backpack on the floor and went to sit next to Aziraphella on the sofa.
"No, dear..." Aziraphella began, but then trailed off.
"Something did happen," Antonia said. "What did Berenice say about my visit? Did the date change?"
"No. The date is still in four days," Aziraphella said, avoiding Antonia's gaze.
"Then what happened? Why are you like this?"
Aziraphella took a deep breath, which puzzled Antonia even more.
"Toni, I think it's time for us to part ways."