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“Ilya, congratulations on making the Canadian Olympic team! Is this the kind of moment that makes you realize you're truly Canadian now?”
Ilya's expression turned serious, all traces of his previous humour gone. Shane tensed as he saw Harris start to look panicked at the borderline, offensive question. Ilya had passed his citizenship exam more than two years ago.
“I am proud to represent my new country, but I have felt Canadian for very long time.” His husband leaned in closer to the microphone as he spoke. “Even while I was permanent resident, I knew I was true Canadian when I was no longer surprised at Tim Hortons getting my order wrong.”
His mom was going to kill Ilya, because they were never getting another Tim Hortons brand deal.
The reporter who asked the question was stunned. Shane knew that he must have traveled from Florida, because the local reporters from Ottawa were suppressing their laughter through poorly disguised coughs.
Harris looked like he was wishing God would strike him dead at this very moment. He frantically gestured to Shane, pleading with him to try and salvage the media scrum, but he genuinely did not think there was anything they could do. Ilya was just vocalizing what every Canadian felt.
One of their local reporters, Amelia, jumped in while the previous reporter floundered. “What’s your go to order Ilya?”
“I do not bother with regular order, it will always be incorrect.” Ilya said dismissively. “I order something different each time, so I will eventually try every item on the menu. Perhaps one day I will finally have a honey dip instead of a honey cruller."
Shane felt his lips twitch up into a small smile before he controlled his expression again. Ilya loved the honey dip donuts from Tims, but every time he ordered one they were either out of stock or they gave him the wrong one. It had gotten to the point that someone else from the team had to buy them because his husband was truly cursed.
Amelia caught Shane’s lip twitch like a shark that scented blood in the water. She turned to him with a wide grin. “What about you Shane? What’s your favourite thing from Tims?”
“Can't go wrong with a double double.” Shane replied with a small shrug. “I prefer mine with milk instead of cream though.”
Amelia’s smile sharpened as she asked, “And do they always give you milk?” She already knew the answer.
He smiled blandly, knowing that this interview would be played over and over again for weeks, if not months. “I prefer mine with milk.”
“Alright everyone!” Harris said as he stepped in front of them, his shoulders tense from the anticipation of Ilya being at the center of some stupid and unnecessary trivial controversy on the internet. “That’s all the questions we have time for tonight, the boys have an early flight tomorrow.”
As they walked out of the media room, Ilya looked at Shane as if he was seeing revelation. It was the look of a man who knew that he wouldn’t be the only one being raked over the coals tonight by Momager Yuna Hollander.
”Malyshka, you are wicked man.” Ilya whined while his hand reached down to grope Shane’s ass. “No one believes me when I say that you are asshole because you are polite Canadian boy to media.”
He swatted Ilya’s hand away with an eye roll and smiled softly at the pout that occurred. “You’re the asshole here Ilya. You had to make that stupid comment about Tims.”
“Worth it.” Ilya said with a devilish grin before leaning down to capture Shane’s lips in a filthy kiss. When they finally pulled away, Ilya’s pupils were blown wide as he swiped his thumb along Shane’s lips. “Now everyone knows that I am true Canadian.”
“You won’t say that once my mom sees you.” Shane snorted. “She’s going to lecture you for so long about optics that by the time we get home it will be too late for us to have sex.”
He watched his husband freeze as he realized the consequences of his actions. Shane continued to walk without him, knowing that making his mom wait would only prolong the lecture. As they rounded the corner, he saw his parents waiting beside the door. While his dad looked faintly amused, his mom’s arms were crossed. She arched an eyebrow at her son-in-law as he attempted to hide behind Shane.
”Blyat.”