Chapter Text
Nami stood on a dance floor by herself, looking like an idiot as another song picked up from the band on stage just as Usopp abandoned her to dance with Luffy.
They’d finally found an island with no marine base and no wanted posters they could have a fun time with after their two year separation only for him to drop her immediately to dance with a fool whose idea of dancing was stomping around off beat.
She was about to demand someone else join her when a blonde head appeared in the corner of her vision, like he had a sense that she was going to ask. She turned around and Sanji was already waiting there for her with his hand out, cigarette smoke billowing into hearts overhead and his face eager.
“I would be honored to dance with you Nami!” He told her with a lovesick grin.
Normally, Nami would hit some sense into him, but she was having a good day and wanted to keep dancing. She rolled her eyes and put her hand in his, laughing when the hand in question started to spasm underneath hers with excitement.
For a second Nami thought he might short-circuit too much to dance, but he managed to shake his head and gather himself enough to pull her towards him.
Nami got the impression that Sanji would know how to dance either from his time at the fancy Baratie or from the life before that he never mentioned, so she wasn’t surprised when he slipped an arm around her waist and lifted their joined hands together.
He didn’t seem like the running man type like Usopp was.
“How lucky am I to be dancing with the most beautiful woman on the island,” Sanji nearly shouted when she put her hand on his arm.
His limbs were starting to do that thing where they turned loose and noodle like just because of her mere existence. It honestly didn’t hurt their dancing, and they started to make their way across the dance floor.
“You don’t even know all the women who are on this island,” Nami shook her head with a smirk.
Though she had to agree with him that she looked beautiful today. She was wearing a new white dress that she’d bought recently. It was a little longer than normal, nearly reaching her knee, and flared out instead of hugging her body like she usually preferred. What made up for it was a scandalously high slit on one side and a low cut back that she adored.
It was so low that she could feel the top of Sanji’s suit jacket sleeve brush against her skin.
“I don’t need to know them to know you’re the most gorgeous of them all,” Sanji continued his usual compliments.
This time though he twirled her under his arm with a quick flick of the wrist, and she couldn’t help but smile at the way the white skirt of her dress flared out when that happened. This was the type of dancing she wouldn’t have been able to do with anyone else.
Sanji did have his perks.
He must have also liked the way her skirt looked too when she spun because he looked down and smiled again.
“Adorable!” Sanji pronounced, grinning wider around the cigarette in his mouth.
Nami squealed when the arm around her waist tightened, and he picked her up and spun her around so her heeled feet dangled off the stone floor.
It was genuinely fun being spun around like that. She laughed at how energetically he was spinning like he was getting ready to do one of his kicks.
He placed her down on her feet again with a soft delicate grip that she always came to expect from him.
All the spinning must have made her dizzy though because she faltered in her first few steps back in their dance and ended up pulling both of them into an older couple who were dancing beside them.
“Sorry!” Nami winced, her voice still breathless from her earlier laughter.
The couple she ran into looked over at them while still dancing in place. There were indulgent smiles on their wrinkly faces.
“No need to apologize. We were young and in love too once. Congratulations!” The woman told her with twinkling eyes.
Sanj’s hand on her waist spasmed at them being mistaken for a couple. She could have sworn she saw his knees wobble too. He was going to go into cardiac-arrest at this rate. She was going to have to grab Chopper from the table.
Nami herself was thrown off with the congratulations part. She was still puzzling it out when the husband threw his own comment in. He looked over at Sanji with a wide grin that matched the cook’s usual one.
”My wedding day was the happiest day of my life. You’ll never forget how beautiful she looks right now. Still think mine is just as beautiful today though,” the man said, sending a wink to his wife.
Wedding day?
Nami looked down at herself and then at Sanji again, letting her jaw drop in horror. Her in her new white dress. Him in his usual suit that stood out amongst what the other guy’s wore.
They looked like a bride and groom.
Horrified that anyone could make that mistake, she opened her mouth to correct them. Sanji was too busy nearly fainting anyway, his mouth was opening and closing like a fish with nothing coming out.
Her attempt to correct them was interrupted though when the couple stopped dancing and the husband said, “Can we buy you all some desserts or a few drinks for your wedding party to celebrate?”
Free things?
Her eyes started to itch the way they normally did when they were going to turn into berry symbols. She quickly shook her head to stop it. She loved free things!
Sanji’s hand dropped away from her waist, and she was sure he was about to start making grand speeches about how he’d be honored to be married to her but alas she didn’t want him yet or something similar.
“Thank you! We’d love that on our wedding day!” Nami nearly shouted, hurrying to cut Sanji off.
People around the courtyard, including the crew, were now staring at her. She didn’t particularly care. Free stuff was free stuff.
“Wedding day?” She heard Usopp repeat in confusion from the other side of the dance floor.
The couple started walking towards the bar that was set up on one side of the courtyard they were in and Nami took advantage of one of her hands still being in Sanji’s to drag his prone body behind her to follow them.
They’d save so much money with this.
She was going to have so much more to spend later.
“Oh Nami dear! I didn’t know you felt this way. If I had known I would have gotten a ring and -“ Sanji was starting to mutter excitedly behind her, as she yanked him towards the bar.
“Shut up! They want to give us free things! Let them think what they want if it means we save money,” Nami hissed over her shoulder.
Sanji’s smitten expression didn’t falter, if anything his smile turned even more dopey as she brought him along.
When they reached the bar, the couple was chatting with the bartender and smiled up at them when they came up.
“Here they are, the happy couple! Let’s get them and their wedding party a round of drinks and desserts!” the husband said, putting some berry down on the bar.
Nami’s mouth watered at the sight. She loved money.
“Thank you on behalf of me and my gorgeous bride,” Sanji thankfully jumped in, remembering his manners when she clearly didn’t.
He was still love sick, the hearts in his eyes beating wildly. The hand of his that was still in her grip was vibrating almost. Probably from sheer force of will to not burst into a serenade or make an actual marriage proposal she assumed.
“Congratulations! Why did you pick our little island for your wedding?” The bartender asked, as he started to place a mixture of mugs and wine glasses on the counter.
Nami knew an easy mark when she saw one. If this couple was already feeling generous, why not lay it on a little thicker to pull on their heart strings and possibly get some more out of them?
Nami pulled Sanji’s hand that was in hers around her waist, grateful he wasn’t too far gone in his own love spiral to not have the wherewithal to grab it so she could let his hand go.
She let out a deep loud sigh and closed her eyes for dramatic effect. She tried to make herself look especially tragic.
“My family didn’t approve of us, so we had to run away together. We came across your village and just couldn’t wait any longer to make our love official,” Nami said, putting a hand to her forehead dramatically.
She popped open one eye to see Sanji looking down at her in adoration. She shuffled her foot over a bit and stepped on his toes harshly, flicking her eyes towards the bar in the hope he’d back her up.
“How could I wait any longer to marry such a perfect woman?” Sanji agreed aggressively, his grip on her waist growing tighter.
Opening her other eye, Nami looked over at their audience. The bartender, the couple, and even the people seated at nearby tables were starting to have quivering lips with tears shining in their eyes.
“How beautiful!”
”What a love story!”
Different voices chimed in, all moved by her tale.
“It’s absolutely horrible to have no support except for those we brought with us, but our love is enough! One day I hope we will find people who will care for us like family before we go on to the next step of our lives!” Nami continued, talking louder and letting her head hang woefully for maximum effect.
Sanji’s hand twitched on her waist.
When she looked up at him from beneath her lashes like the perfectly bashful and innocent bride, she saw that his face was red. The one eye that she could see was swirling in a sign of an incoming faint.
“Please let us help you! We can give you a grand party right here, right everyone?” The bartender wiped at the tears flowing down his face, and yelled the last part to the crowd of people that had come closer to hear Nami’s dramatic story.
Nami looked back to where the crew was sitting, hoping that they were playing along and not actively sabotaging their chances of a fun free night.
Zoro had his arms crossed and looked bored with his stack of empty beers in front of him. That’s fine. He could be her reluctant brother.
Robin had her lips pressed together to stop laughter, but she was trying to look solemn like Nami’s sad story called for. A mercy.
Chopper looked ecstatic, completely believing this new turn of events. Nami knew that he’d be believing that she and Sanji had actually gotten married today if anyone asked.
Franky was starting to wipe at his watering eyes at the beauty of her fake story. It added wonderful realism.
Brook was signing autographs for a group of drunk girls. Well maybe they needed a wedding singer.
Usopp and Luffy were still standing on the dance floor that had all paused to weep over the tragic love story unfolding in front of them.
Usopp was shaking his head at her with his arms crossed. Luffy on the other hand was grinning wildly next to him.
“Party? Does this mean we get more food?” He called over to her.
Nami winced, hoping that didn’t ruin the sympathies of the people around them. Thankfully all of the gathered villagers, including the original couple, eagerly nodded through their tears.
“Yes! A wedding cake! What a great idea to start with! Ask the baker if he has one!” One of them shouted.
Nami reached a hand out to grab a handful of Sanji’s suit jacket to keep herself from squealing. A whole cake? Free of charge?
She should get married more often.
“You should show your ring then, Nami!” Usopp yelled over to her, giving her a pointed look.
Oh forget him and his morals. If people were willing to give, then she was willing to take.
Immediately the villagers started crying again, trying to shuffle closer to get a look at her hand. Nami hid her hand behind her back and threw out a small prayer in thanks that Sanji’s left hand was stuffed in his pocket.
Nami wasn’t about to let Usopp stop her from getting what she wanted.
She didn’t have any rings on her. She was turning her head to look at Sanji in desperation for some of that quick thinking he always managed in a fight when she felt her earrings shake with her movement.
Her earrings. They were thicker small gold hoops. Perfect for looking like a simple wedding band for a couple that had no support.
“Oh what’s that over there!” Nami said suddenly, looking over the villagers shoulders off into the distance.
All at once the stranger’s heads swerved to peer over to where she had motioned. It gave her the perfect opportunity to yank the gold part of her earrings off the hooks and slip one on to her left ring finger. She pushed the other one into Sanji's chest and nearly throttled him when he almost fumbled it to the floor, but he also managed to stuff it onto his larger finger.
A miracle considering he was still doing that whole vibrating inside his skin with love thing.
Thankfully by the time they all turned back around not having seen anything behind them, Nami was prepared with the next part of her story.
“Oh I must have imagined it. Well, here it is! I know it is simple, but with no help at all what else could we have? I’m just happy to have a ring given to me by my precious husband. Maybe one day we will be given enough by kind people to get something even grander to represent our love,” Nami said, waving her hand around to show off the slightly too big makeshift ring.
Sanji, not to be left out of a profession of love, joined in.
“My precious Nami gave me one as well, I will treasure it for the rest of my days!” He said, holding up his own hand.
The villagers swooned at his adoration of his wife, and Nami turned her face into Sanji’s chest to hide her smirk. To the rest of the villagers she must have looked like a bride overwhelmed by her husband’s devotion, but instead she was getting a nose full of Sanji’s cologne and doing an internal jig.
With her luck, she’d be able to walk out of her with a stack of jewelry hopefully.
“She really shouldn’t be able to get away with stuff like this,” Usopp muttered from behind Sanji.
Nami pulled her head away far enough to peek over Sanji’s shoulder at her friend just so she could stick her tongue out at him.
“This poor couple! How beautiful is their love?”
“That’s it! Let’s give them the best wedding party they could ever have!”
“Let’s start a gift collection! We can be the ones to help their love!”
The shouts were followed up by cheers of agreement, and Nami had to press her face back into Sanji. Between the shockingly very intoxicating smell of his cologne and the words “gift collection” ringing in her ears, she was close to drooling.
“Here, for your wedding party!” The bartender got her attention before she reached that depraved state.
Finally feeling composed enough to not have to hide her face, Nami pulled away from her fake spouse. When his hand was forced to fall away from her side, she actually found it a bit jarring for the first second. She’d gotten kind of used to having the weight there.
The line of drinks that had been set out earlier were now filled to the brim with wine and beer. They’d taste even better, probably, knowing they were free.
This time she did remember her manners and made sure to shout out a thank you over the music that was starting up again.
She had started to reach for the drinks, but Sanji’s long arms beat her to it. He quickly grabbed up all the mugs and stacked them steadily on his forearms that he kept close to the chest, holding the wine glasses in his hands.
Sanji waited for Nami to start walking back towards the table as villagers zoomed past them in a hurry to grab whatever it was that would make for the best wedding party.
Usopp and Luffy had gone back to the table now too, and there were some cheers when Sanji placed the drinks on the table.
“To Nami and Sanji!” Chopper toasted.
The rest of the crew toasted along with it though Usopp was grumbling through the entire thing.
“What a beauty to see young love flourish. It makes a man’s heart grow at least three sizes, well it would if I had a heart,” Brook said.
“Don’t any of you people feel guilty about taking advantage of this village?” Usopp asked with a shake of his head.
Nami rolled her eyes again. It’s not like she was robbing them high and dry.
“And what about you? Are you okay with her lying about your precious love?” Usopp asked, turning to Sanji now.
Nami looked sideways at her pretend husband beside her, hoping Usopp’s words weren’t getting to him. She shouldn’t have worried.
Sanji was clasping his hands again, staring at her with normal heart filled eyes.
“Doesn’t my wife come up with the most brilliant schemes?” Sanji sighed, starting to melt again.
“Come on Usopp! It means we get a free party!” Luffy said.
Nami bit back a smirk, and she looked at Usopp with doe eyes.
“And to think I was going to ask you to be my maid of honor, but if you’re so against the wedding then I guess I can just ask someone else,” Nami said with a pout.
Usopp’s entire demeanor changed. His scowl melted away to a look of pure pride and there were tears welling in the corner of his eyes.
“Me? Maid of honor?” Usopp gasped, putting his hands over his mouth.
Nami laughed. He really was easy to win over if you said the right thing.
“Of course! Who else would I ask but my dearest friend?” She nodded with a serious expression.
Forget Sanji, Usopp now looked like he was going to faint. He blushed and turned to everyone else with a wide grin.
“Don’t feel too bad the rest of you, not everyone can be as good of a friend as the Great Captain Usopp,” he taunted the rest of them.
Immediately, Brook, Chopper, and Luffy started arguing with him about who deserved the title of maid of honor.
Nami was starting to laugh at their antics when she heard giggling behind her. She looked over shoulder and found the group of tipsy girls her age that had been asking Brook for his autograph earlier holding something white in their hands.
“Hi! We had an idea!” One of them said between giggles holding up what looked like a tablecloth.
“Huh?” Was all Nami managed to ask before they surrounded her.
Soft hands were grabbing at her shoulders and pins were stuck in her hair. She was ready to knock one of the girls on their asses when they finally stepped away.
“Wait! The vision isn’t complete yet!” One of them said, holding out one of the bouquets from a table vase.
Nami took it absentmindedly trying to get a look at what was now stuck in her hair.
“Oh! A veil! How pretty,” Robin hummed from the table.
Nami caught the glimpse of white in her peripherals and smiled.
“Thank you for making my Nami even more beautiful. I didn’t think it was possible for her to be any lovelier and now, it may actually stop my heart!” Sanji was nearly swooning beside her.
The women all blushed to their toes. It brought back Nami’s annoyance. Really what was he doing fawning over other women on a day like this?
Her annoyance faltered though when she whirled around to glare at him and found him staring at her completely. His heart eyes were gone for once leaving only the intense blue color staring at her like she hung the moon.
It was rather sweet.
“Thanks,” she told the girls over her shoulder, keeping a hold on her flowers.
“WOW! You look SUPER like a bride now. It’s beautiful,” Franky said, wiping his eyes again.
Sanji reached down and grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his mouth to brush a kiss against her knuckles.
“There is no prettier bride in the entire world,” Sanji said against her hand.
Now it was Nami’s turn to blush all the way to her ears.
“Shoo! This is my job as maid of honor not yours,” Usopp rushed over to push the drunk girls away.
Nami laughed at the Usopp’s attempts to herd the drunk girls away while Brook pulled out his violin and looked towards the stage.
“It wouldn’t do to have the marriage of our two dear crew members celebrated and not take part myself in the music,” he said before gliding over to the musicians in the courtyard.
Usopp’s efforts to push the girls away were for nothing since the moment that Brook got on stage they all rushed over to the dance floor with giddy screams.
The disgruntled sharpshooter came back to her side just as there was a large crash. Nami whirled her head around to see Zoro strewn across the cobblestone floor feet away from the table with Sanji standing nearby leg barely coming down from a kick.
“What was that for you, you idiot!” Zoro shouted, standing up and already unsheathing one of his swords.
Nami’s face turned red as multiple eyes turned their way in concern. She was going to kill them both right here if they ruined her scam before they even got their cake.
“That was me asking you to be the best man or are you too stupid to understand?” Sanji said, readjusting his suit jacket lapels. He was clearly avoiding looking at the bounty hunter.
Zoro, who had looked ready to commit murder paused. He looked over at Nami’s pretend groom with a glare, and she thought she’d have to step in between them.
The green-haired man stomped over to where Sanji stood not that far from their table and reeled his hand back. He got Sanji across the face with a punch that pushed him back multiple feet.
“Hey! What are you thinking!! Not today!” Nami shouted, running over to Sanji’s side to see if the damage was bad enough to ruin the night.
“That was me accepting,” Zoro said blandly, walking past both of them back to the table.
Nami glared at their first mate, as he sat down. She grabbed a hold of Sanji’s chin and turned his face left and right to make sure that there wasn’t a mark left by Zoro’s punch.
“Oh, Nami my sweet angel, you are so adorable to worry about me. As if that grass for brains could ever be strong enough to hurt me,” Sanji cooed in her hands.
“Wow, is that how you ask someone to be your best man? By kicking them?” Chopper said in wonder at the table.
Zoro, Luffy, Franky, Usopp, and even Sanji whose chin was still in her hand nodded with solemn expressions.
Nami let go of Sanji’s face and threw her hands up in exasperation. She left her groom standing there in lovesick awe of her and stomped to sit by Robin at the table.
“Men!” She hissed, crossing her arms.
Robin nodded in commiseration beside her.
There was a burst of wind as Sanji hurried over to her side, loudly pulling a chair in between her and Robin. He threw his arm around the back of her chair and pulled the two of them closer together.
“I’m sorry if I upset you on your special day Nami, please forgive me, tell me what would make this happy for you again,” he whimpered almost.
Nami rolled her eyes and put her hands against his chest to push him away from her out of instinct, but she paused remembering that they were supposed to be a couple in the eyes of the amused villagers that were looking over at them constantly.
She looked over at her pretend husband and saw his puppy dog expression. She let her hands rest on his chest so as to not raise suspicions and glared at him with only half the anger she normally would.
“Fine, but no more fighting. Everyone’s supposed to be thinking I’m marrying the best-looking man here, and I refuse to be embarrassed if you get all bruised and beaten for no good reason,” she told him in a huff.
“We heard that witch!” Zoro grumbled, smacking his empty beer mug down and glaring in her direction.
“You think I’m the best-looking man here? Nami, is this a proposal?” Sanji clutched at his chest, head thrown back in what could have been pain or what could have been lovesickness.
“How can it be a proposal if you’re already married?” Chopper asked with a quirk of his head.
“Oh would you look at that! I think that’s your cake!” Robin interrupted what was bound to be a frustrating conversation for Nami.
The entire table looked over to where a three-tiered cake was being brought over to an empty table by the bar. Three people were balancing it, and the swirls of frosting on the side glimmered in the newly turned on twinkle lights now that the sun had set.
“What a looker,” Franky said with a huge grin.
“Cake!” Luffy shouted, getting up from the table and starting to run over where they had placed the dessert.
“Luffy, don’t you dare!” Nami shouted after him, getting up from her seat.
Even with her cheeks turning red from anger there was no stopping herself from smiling at the beautiful sight of the free cake her scam had got them.
Thankfully, multiple pairs of hands bloomed out of the cobblestone floor and pulled Luffy down before he could tackle the cake. Nami glared down at her captain when she finally caught up with him.
There was a soft touch to the small of her back, and she turned her head to find Sanji standing behind her. He also looked down at the trapped Luffy below them.
“Would you like the honors my precious or would you like me to do it?” Sanji asked her, flicking his burnt-out cigarette to the side.
It took her a few seconds to understand what he was asking, but when the realization hit, she smiled even larger than she already was for the cake. It was maybe the most romantic thing that anyone had ever done for her. She had to give credit where credit was due.
“Don’t mind if I do,” she said, clenching her hand into a fist at her side.
“NO TACKLING THE CAKE, ARE YOU STUPID!” She shouted, bringing her fist down on top of Luffy’s straw hat.
Sanji let out a delighted laugh beside her, as the hands that had been holding Luffy in place disappeared in a burst of flower petals. Their captain slumped to the ground, rubbing at the top of his head where a large bump was growing.
“You’re no fun,” Luffy muttered to them, as Franky walked over and picked him up from the back of his shirt collar to set him on his feet.
Nami and Sanji shared amused smiles.
“And now we present to you, a cake on behalf of our village in celebration of your marriage!” the man with the chef’s hat announced ahead of them, motioning towards the cake that had been brought out.
“Oh my, it’s beautiful. Nearly as lovely as the deserts our dear Sanji makes for us. Yohoho!” Brook said when he walked over from the stage.
Sanji’s eyes lit up beside her at the cake, and he eagerly pulled on her hand in his to bring them over to it. Not that Nami had to be encouraged, nothing tasted better than a desert they didn’t have to pay for.
“The bride and groom cut the first slice of course!” the chef said when he joined them by the cake table.
What had to be one of the other bakery workers handed them a knife and what Nami only knew as a cake server. She stared at the utensils in her hand with unsurety, but thankfully a pair of pale hands reached over and delicately pulled them from her hands.
Nami looked up at Sanji who beamed at her before going to stand almost behind her.
“It’s not as hard as it looks,” he told her in her ear.
A shiver went up the back of her spine.
Throwing her nose in the air, she shook off that stupid involuntary reaction. Instead, she looked out at the crowd of people now gathering around them including the crew.
Nami’s cheeks hurt from all her smiling so much since the cake had come out, but she couldn’t help but smile again. The cake was absolutely lovely. Any guilt she may have had about someone whipping this up for a lie she told was swayed when she looked at the lovely details along the side.
Sanji’s hands wrapped around hers and led her through the motions of cutting a piece of the cake. It was a good thing she was married - fakely - to a cook. She didn’t think the piece she'd cut herself would have been anywhere as even and pretty as the one they pulled out together to lay on the small plate they’d been given.
The two of them held the plate between them while the onlooking crowd of people clapped.
Nami knew that they were supposed to feed each other. She also had heard that many a groom would smash the cake into their new wives faces. She didn’t worry about that at all though. Sanji would never waste the cake or ever come close to striking her in any way.
She felt bad for those other brides who had to be concerned about their own husband’s gentleness with them.
A long rubbery arm came into her peripherals, reaching for the freshly cut cake beside them.
Sanji didn’t even turn away from where they held the cake. She just watched his leg shoot out behind him and heard the smack of impact as his leg blocked Luffy’s hand.
“I just wanted to try the cake! I wasn’t going to tackle it!” Luffy groaned somewhere behind Sanji.
Sanji, still smiling at her and the slice of cake they cut, turned his head briefly to look back at their captain.
“Let Nami have the first slice!” he demanded before turning back towards her.
Nami had to giggle when Luffy let out a loud whine behind them.
“You always say that,” the younger boy grumbled.
“Hmm..let me get us some forks,” Sanji said, looking around at the cake table.
Nami reached up and grabbed him by his much looser tie now. She pulled on it, leading his head back towards her. His throat bobbed underneath the tie when he looked down at where she held it.
“I don’t mind if you don’t,” Nami shrugged, pulling a piece off the cake with her fingers and holding it out for him.
The cake plate started to shake in between them. He must have liked the idea.
“I am so in love with you,” Sanji breathed out, reaching to grab a piece of the cake himself.
He’d told her that a million times. He’d shouted it. He professed it. He sang it on occasion.
This time though she felt her heart still in her chest for a beat. It was said almost without thought. It was casual, something only she could hear. It was private and intimate.
It was how a husband would say it to his wife.
Hmm. It wasn’t so bad.
Sanji held a perfectly reasonable bite of cake out to her, and the two of them stretched their arms out to feed each other much to the adoration of the people watching who cooed at their movement.
Nami opened her mouth and happily accepted the piece that Sanji gave her. There was a burst of delicious vanilla flavor on her tongue, just as Sanji’s mouth brushed against her fingers as she fed him his piece.
Tingles climbed up her arms.
She was so taken aback by it that she left her frosting covered hand hovering by his mouth while he chewed his piece of cake with a smile. She was the one swallowing hard now.
He glanced at her hand still held up to his face, and even she could tell that he wasn’t thinking when he turned his head to the side and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist.
There was another round of cooing.
Sanji jumped, realizing what he had done. It was clear he was going to start apologizing, but Nami only pulled her hand back slowly and brought her frosting covered fingers that by all standards had been in his mouth only seconds earlier to her own mouth.
She wrapped her lips around a finger and sucked. Sanji choked above her.
“Delish!” She announced, smiling.
Sanji must have finally noticed that she wasn’t going to kill him because he let out a sigh of relief.
“Now we can have cake?” Chopper, Brook, and Luffy asked together, popping up beside them.
Nami was tempted to be a brat and tell them no. Sanji would keep them from the cake all night if she did. But she was in a good mood, she could be generous.
“Yes, now you can have cake,” she rolled her eyes and smiled.
Sanji took the plate out of her remaining hand and grabbed the forks from the table that he had been looking for before. Nami stepped back to let the crew and the rest of the party guests gather around the cake, waiting for him.
“Even slices people! What kind of show are we running? The bride wants even slices!” Usopp could be heard in the crowd trying to lead the bakery workers in the cutting of the cake.
She smiled to herself. He took his duties seriously.
She could have grabbed her own slice - or asked Sanji to get it rather if she was being honest, she hadn’t made her own plate again since they’d been reunited - but the idea of sharing the piece they cut themselves was rather adorable actually.
The two sat back down at the crew’s table once Sanji came back to her, and he pulled his chair closer to hers so they could continue to share the cake slice.
“Poor suckers don’t know what they’re dealing with. Luffy’s going to eat that whole thing if they aren’t careful,” Nami said with a laugh looking over to where rubbery arms were holding up four plates of cake slices.
“Between that and the beer the idiot’s been drinking, I don’t think they knew what they were getting into,” Sanji laughed in agreement.
Nami scooped up a fork full of cake and happily munched on the sweet desert. She glanced around the darkened courtyard and hurried to swallow when she spotted a table being set up with boxes and items.
“They’re making the gift table!” She gasped, her grin widening even more than should have been physically possible.
She glanced over at Sanji to see if he was as excited as her, but he was staring at her with a smile shaped around the fork in his mouth.
“What?” She asked with a frown, suddenly feeling self conscious. She looked away from his gaze now finding herself unsure of herself.
“Nothing, you’re just adorable,” Sanji said, his hand coming into her view to scoop up more cake.
Nami chewed on her bottom lip. The veil on her head slipped off her shoulder to thankfully block him from seeing her quickly heating up face.
Sanji was annoyingly sweet when given the chance.
“You know, you’re not the worst fake husband that I could have,” she shrugged.
No amount of nonchalance she put into the compliment would have stopped him from flailing his arms around in the chair next to her with utter glee.
“Does this mean that you - “ he started to shout.
Nami quickly grabbed the last handful of the cake on their plate and stuffed it into his wide open mouth. Sanji choked and sputtered on the food while she crossed her arms again.
“Don’t make a big deal out of it! It’s just a compliment! Barely!” She hissed.
She was given a reprieve from her anger when Luffy shuffled up to stand next to her chair, his stomach slightly bloated from the amount of cake he had eaten.
“I’m sorry for trying to tackle your cake, Nami. It was really good though. Do you want to dance?” Her captain offered apologetically.
He looked genuinely guilty about it, so Nami looked over at the freshly recovered man beside her.
“Thank you, Luffy. I’ll make you some more cake when we’re back on the ship,” Sanji offered with a smile, wiping the frosting Nami had smeared on his face during her force feeding him with a napkin.
Nami smiled brightly and stood up from her chair.
“And yes, I’ll dance with you,” Nami added.
Brook was back on stage playing a jaunty jig with the lead singer of the band that had already been performing early, starting up his singing.
“Alright! Wedding dance!” Luffy shouted in excitement at both the cake and the chance to dance again.
He grabbed Nami by the wrist and dragged her off to the dance floor with him.
“You better be careful with her!” Sanji’s voice carried behind them.
Dancing with Luffy was always an adventure in itself. He had lots of enthusiasm but a severe lack of self-control. Nami was out of breath within the first minute trying to keep up with how he slingshotted them to every corner of the dance floor.
“I think this day has been pretty great. I think more of you should get married if this is how fun it is,” Luffy told her while jumping in place.
Nami jumped along with him and fought back a smile.
It had been a pretty great day so far and there was still so much left of it. While none of it was real, the fun that everyone was having definitely was. It was one of the best scams she’d ever come up with.
Luffy stretched his arm out suddenly, wrapping it around Nami’s waist multiple times. She held her arms out and looked down at the appendage with unsurety.
“Luffy, what are you doing?” She asked with a quiver of fear in her voice.
“I’m going to spin you like Sanji did earlier!” Luffy said with a proud grin.
Nami barely had time to blink before the arm twisting around her promptly let go and began to untwist itself, sending her spinning so fast that everything blurred around her.
Luffy laughed somewhere in the distance and she heard multiple squeals and gasps from the dancers around them.
Thankfully before she could spin right off the island, a hand grabbed onto her shoulder and stopped her in time with the end of the music.
Nami’s head was still spinning when she blinked in Luffy's general direction.
“Thanks Nami! That was fun! Do you think if I do that to Franky he’ll catch on fire?” Luffy asked, his huge smile just still a blur to her.
“Don’t move!” Nami said, her stomach still queasy from the spinning.
Luffy kept his hand on her shoulder until she was finally able to blink away the dizziness. With a wave of her hand she sent Luffy off back towards the table where the crew sat before going to join them herself.
There’d been a game of musical chairs in the time that her and Luffy had been on the dance floor. Once Luffy sat down there were no other chairs available.
Sanji had started getting up out of his seat, a long string of ‘of course you can have my seat Nami’ coming out of him while he did. Nami rolled her eyes, putting a hand on his chest to stop him. Her supposed groom froze.
Really people were going to wonder what kind of wife she was if this was how he reacted to any bit of affection she showed him.
She pushed him back into his seat and didn’t think twice before plopping herself down on his lap.
There was a half-drunk beer in front of his seat.
“Is this one yours?” Nami asked him.
There were a lot of choking sounds going above her head, but she thought she could make out a gurgled yes.
Good enough for her. She grabbed the mug off the table and took a long refreshing drink of the cold beer inside.
“I’m going to die,” Sanji murmured and Nami could feel his body starting to turn limp underneath her.
Her head whipped around. Smoke hearts from his cigarette were swirling around his head, and the dazed look on his face did give the impression of someone on the verge of a very happy death.
“You’re going to leave your wife a widow? On your wedding day?” She asked, smacking his stomach with the back of her hand.
Would she have to return the gifts?
Or would they let a tragically young widow keep them?
At the words ‘wife’ and ‘wedding day’, her husband for the day sat up straight once again.
Nami leaned back against the now much more sturdy backboard she had and looked out at the crowd of people at her celebration. Well technically their celebration, but who in their right mind cared about the groom at the wedding?
“I think blue lights would have been better,” Nami said looking at the yellow toned twinkle lights covering the courtyard.
She wobbled in her place as Sanji moved, and a hand came around her waist to hold her in place as her human chair leaned over and kicked a leg out towards their shipwright that sat next to them.
”Franky! Nami wants blue lights, make it happen!” He commanded their crewmate.
Nami grinned, drinking another gulp of beer from Sanji’s mug. This was the type of thing she was meant for. Is this what marriage was? She had imagined something a lot less fun and accommodating.
Then again she wasn’t fake married to just anybody. She was married to Sanji. If anyone was going to treat her like a queen in marriage it would be the man who treated her like a princess already.
Franky rubbed at his leg and winced. Sanji’s grip on Nami’s waist stayed where it was while he argued back and forth about how exactly Nami could get her blue lights.
The warmth of Sanji’s palm through the dress was quite nice, she had to admit. It left her skin underneath feeling hot to the touch.
When Franky stood up and stomped off to make Nami’s random preferences come true, it left an empty spot at the table that she easily could have hopped off Sanji’s lap to take. She could feel Sanji looking from the empty seat to her now above her head.
Nami stayed where she was.
She was comfortable and besides they were technically newlyweds in the eyes of everyone around them. Newlywed brides should be sitting on their grooms laps.
Sensing that Sanji was about to go off on another near death ecstasy run, Nami took a quick sip from his mug again before lifting it up towards his mouth.
“Drink!” She told him, waving the beer mug right under his nose.
“I wish I had a wife if it meant that someone fed me and gave me my drinks. Can I marry Nami next?” Luffy grumbled from across the table.
Nami rolled her eyes, but she grinned when two hands grabbed at her hips protectively.
He was getting more comfortable at least.
“Get your own wife,” Sanji shouted at their captain.
Some of the village people walking by the table laughed and whistled at Sanji’s possessiveness. It was no accomplishment of her own but Nami still preened under the attention.
Nami enjoyed having the best things available.
It was intoxicating knowing that everyone here thought she had the best husband. Real or not, it still meant she was better than them.
She wanted her intoxicated feeling to continue, so she patted Sanji’s thigh beneath her. It would be a shame to lose that nice feeling of his fingers pressing into her hips, but she could always sit them back down again.
Right now she wanted to see the spoils of her plan.
“I want to go look at the gift table,” Nami said.
She could have gone on her own of course, but then she would have missed out on the way that Sanji delicately led her off his lap and stood up to lead her over there.
“Of course! Whatever you want!” He said, throwing an arm around her shoulder.
His arm pulled on her now definitely crooked veil, but Nami didn’t care in the moment. After all his lovesick paralyzing moments earlier on, it was nice to see him slotting into his part so easily.
He tried to lead her around like this before, but she always threw him off. It didn’t feel bad at all now that it was actually happening. The weight of his arm on her shoulders was actually kinda comforting, and she felt happy to let her mind wander while he led her around like that.
She didn’t have to be so vigilant.
When they got to the table, Nami clutched at his hand that draped over her in excitement. Her mouth was watering again just looking at it.
The table was stacked with gifts of various sizes. Kitchen equipment, jewelry, boxes of sweets, and best of all, there was an open box of berry that people were dropping money into.
“Look at all that berry!” Nami cooed, her grip on Sanji’s fingers tight to keep herself from reaching over and running her fingers through it.
Sanji leaned forward too to examine the gifts excitedly.
“Look at that pot. It’s just like one Zeff had at the Baratie that I couldn’t bring with me. There’s going to be so much I could do with that!” He said, eyeing a heavy looking pot at the bottom of a stack of gifts.
Nami giggled. This was one of the best days she’d ever had on this adventure.
“I want to have a hundred weddings if this is what you get from them,” she said.
It was the best plan she’d ever had, and it had fallen right into their laps.
Sanji pulled her closer with a laugh, and Nami absentmindedly let him. It was a joyous time anyway. Above her head the yellow lights suddenly flickered into blue. The cool lighting was perfect, exactly like she had been picturing in her head when she was sitting at the table earlier.
“Franky did it!” Nami laughed.
She turned to face him ready to thank him for going along with her plan and helping make it even more fun for her, but there was a cheer and then hands were pulling him away from her this time.
“Party with the groom!” Chopper yelled.
Luffy, Usopp, Franky, and Chopper tugged Sanji away from her, dragging him to the dance floor while he sputtered about wanting to stay with her. Zoro trailed behind them and shot her an exasperated expression.
“Next time pick a better husband,” he commented.
Nami shook her head, but let the group of them take her fake husband away. They were all doing their part in their now not that tiny lie. Let them have a bit of fun.
She headed back towards the table with a skip in her step after seeing all the money they’d be taking with them when the night was over.
Nami plopped herself down in the seat beside Robin, grabbing what she assumed (and hoped) was Sanji’s beer they’d left behind when they went to find the gift table.
She stretched her legs out and let out a little hum on contentment. She’d never felt so at ease before.
“I didn’t get the whole wedding thing before, but I think I can see the appeal now,” Nami sighed, kicking her feet up onto one of the other nearby empty chairs.
The veil, the flowers, the dancing. It was all a good time. Besides, it was easy to get lost in the joy even if it was pretend. The way everyone wanted to congratulate Sanji on catching her was a great boost to her already huge ego.
She was a catch.
Of course the women had all made similar comments to her about how strong Sanji looked and how wild her wedding night will have to be if that is how he looked at her out in public.
She’d really never considered it before.
It was hard picturing Sanji in that kind of position, but the women were right. He was strong. He had awfully strong legs especially. Her cheeks were starting to heat up from the thoughts.
She was blaming the beer when Robin spoke up and shook her out of it.
“Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce,” Robin observed, tapping her fingers on the table.
Nami turned an irritated glare in the other girl's direction. Was she really talking about divorce on her wedding day? Her fake wedding day, but still.
Robin had the audacity to smile at Nami’s obvious irritation.
“The chances of divorce go down exponentially if the partners have lived together before marriage, also if they have experienced hardship together. Statistically speaking, you’re set for a long happy marriage,” Robin continued, putting her chin in her hand that rested on the table.
Nami was annoyingly placated by that. She didn’t want her fake marriage to be part of a divorce statistic. Besides, Sanji would never divorce her. He’d sooner throw himself off the nearest building than end a marriage with her.
The spiral of her thoughts annoyed her further.
“We’re not really married,” she reminded Robin (and herself) with a huff.
She looked over to where the boys and a bunch of local village men were lifting Sanji up over their heads, letting out multiple shouts for the groom. Zoro stood to the side, rolling his eyes with his beer in hand, but the rest of the guys seemed like they were having a good time.
Sanji was laughing loudly, his cigarette nearly flying out of his mouth when Luffy suddenly punched his rubbery arms higher than everybody and sent Sanji flying up in the air.
He caught Nami’s stare midway up, looking towards where she and Robin were sitting. He waved at her with the same excitement than he normally did.
That was probably why the scam was so easy to fall into. Nothing about Sanji’s behavior had changed. This was the exact same man he’d always been.
It was almost like he’d been acting like a husband the whole time.
Nami couldn’t help but smile back at Sanji’s enthusiasm until she realized that Luffy had gotten distracted by a new platter of meat coming out and now Sanji was going to crash back down into a group of men who probably couldn't catch him.
Thankfully, Chopper shifted into his larger form and caught the blonde cook before he knocked through the crowd of men.
“Luffy! Don’t drop my husband!” Nami screamed at the captain.
Seriously. Did he want to injure the groom on the wedding day of all days?
Luffy had the decency to look a bit abashed from where he was following the steaming platter of meat. Only for a second though before a foot rammed into the side of his head.
“Don’t be scaring Nami when she’s having a good time!” Sanji shouted at their Captain who waddled away with a footprint marked on his cheek.
“I thought weddings were supposed to make people happy,” Luffy muttered loud enough for Nami to hear where she sat.
She rolled her eyes, but sat back again with a smirk at the violence done in her name.
“Oh yes, not a real marriage at all,” Robin commented from her side.
Nami snapped her head in Robin’s direction, not at all enjoying the way the other woman was trying to fight back a smile.
All great scam artists sometimes get too into the role for the job. It was natural. It didn’t mean anything.
‘What are you trying to say?” Nami hissed at her, clutching the mug of beer closer to her chest.
Robin couldn’t hide her smile any longer. The dark haired woman was fully smiling now as she looked Nami over. It made Nami squirm.
“Nothing, just that marriage suits you,” Robin finally said.
Nami wasn’t sure what she was going to respond with, but the music faded out and the lead singer of the band who had been sharing the spotlight with Brook throughout the night started to speak.
“I’m hearing lots of requests for a speech for our new friends, the bride and groom! Let’s get them up here!” The singer got everyone to start cheering.
All eyes turned towards the dance floor where Sanji still stood with the rest of the men and to where she sat at the table with Robin.
Nami felt her heart drop into her stomach. Her speeches from earlier telling their story should have counted as speech enough. The thought of getting up there and having to come up with more stuff to say made her feel positively ill.
Sanji looked over at her from the dance floor, curly eyebrows raised in concern.
Nami gave him a small shake of her head. She planned to start mouthing a plea for him to do it, but she didn’t even have the chance because he nodded resolutely and turned to head up to the stage.
He always knew what she needed. It was a heaven-sent quality in a moment like this.
The crowd got especially loud when he got up, and the rest of the crew shuffled back to the table to join her and Robin while Brook handed Sanji a snail microphone on the stage.
“Sanji’s going to do a great job, giving speeches about you is what he does every day!” Chopper said with a wide grin.
Nami rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling in both gratitude to her fake husband for handling this and in acknowledgement that yes this was something he did every day.
“My lovely Nami is too adorably shy to give the speech, so I hope you will settle for just me. Though I am the lesser half of us of course,” Sanji said when he began.
The villagers all laughed at the tables around him. Nami felt her cheeks heat up. She wasn’t shy. She was just…nervous. Professions of love whether fake or real were a talent that only someone like Sanji could have.
“He’s not that funny,” Zoro grumbled across the table.
“You see I have loved Nami since the moment I met her,” Sanji continued, looking over to where she sat.
It really was no different than what he said every single day when he handed her breakfast each morning or the kind of thing he shouted at enemies that dared to look her way.
Still though there was something heartwarming about him saying it again so formally.
“The minute I heard her adorable laugh in her pink shirt, I told myself that is the girl I’m going to marry. She was the most perfect woman I’d ever seen,” Sanji said earnestly.
Nami’s heart skipped a beat against her own will.
“Does he actually remember what you were wearing? That’s SUUUUPER romantic,” Franky started crying, wiping at his eyes.
He did.
That was well over three years ago now.
“When we met, I already had a dream of my own that I wanted to reach, but she’s given me a new dream to add. The dream of giving her a happy free life even if I only ever play a small part in it,” Sanji continued.
Franky started blubbering louder, with Chopper now joining in the two of them leaning their heads against each other despite their large height difference.
Nami wanted to roll her eyes or say something snarky, but it was exceptionally hard to do that when Sanji was just so damn genuine about it.
The crowd of villagers were sniffling, looking her way with sincere smiles that made her smile back. They were so happy that a stranger they only met today had someone who loved her like this. Is this what other people saw in Sanji everyday they interacted?
“Tonight I have to thank you for helping me continue that dream by giving her a happy day,” Sanji finished.
“I think I fell in love with him,” Usopp muttered beside her.
Nami glared at him out of the corner of her eye, and he held his hands up with no defense.
“Get your own husband,” she hissed in annoyance, smacking him upside the head.
If she noticed herself echoing Sanji’s earlier words to Luffy, she decided to ignore it. He was her husband for all intents and purposes until the end of the night. No one should be falling in love with him at their wedding.
The villagers broke out into applause, cheering Sanji on. The rest of the crew also threw their hands up and shouted in support of him.
Nami felt her cheeks heat up as more of the crowd looked at her. She was still blushing when the first knife hit the side of a glass. Within seconds there were a sea of clinks as the rest of the crowd followed suit.
“What are we hitting our glasses for?” Luffy asked, his mouth stuffed with food. He still had his own glass raised and looked back and forth at the other guests
With a shrug he hit his glass so hard that it broke and shattered across their table. He grinned with cheeks stuffed with meat.
Robin smiled as she answered, “It’s a tradition. It means they want the bride and groom to kiss.”
“What are you waiting for? Go kiss him!” Franky blubbered, motioning for her to go forward.
She rolled her eyes, even as the clinking got louder. Sanji up on the stage with the musicians was turning bright red and was sputtering into the snail intercom. He was probably trying to find a nice way to tell them no.
Nami stood out of her chair and there was a loud cheer. Sanji looked like he was about to faint ahead of her, as she walked through the empty dancefloor and towards the stage.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” the party goers chanted.
Brook offered her a hand when she got to the bottom of the stage, and she accepted the help onto the platform. Their skeleton crewmate looked absolutely giddy, his hands going to his mouth with obvious glee once she was on the stage.
Sanji was still holding the snail microphone in one hand when she turned towards him. Brook reached a long skeletal arm between them and plucked the device from Sanji’s hand.
“Uh Nami, what are you doing?” He asked her, pulling at his collar.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” the chants continued.
“I think they want us to kiss,” Nami raised a brow, motioning with her head towards the crowd.
Sanji let out a choking sound.
There was another cheer that made Nami look around in confusion until she realized a ladder of hands was making its way down from the stage lights above to drop her bouquet back into her hands.
Another set of hands sprouted from her shoulder and reached up to straighten out her veil.
Nami let out a laugh and looked past the bright lights to the table where the crew sat, she could barely make out Robin’s wink in her direction.
“Well, are you going to kiss your wife or not?” Nami asked when she looked back at Sanji.
She took another step closer to him until they were only a breath apart. The lights were hotter up here, that was the only reason her cheeks were turning red.
“Am I dreaming?” Sanji whispered, looking down at her. His hands slowly made their way to the side of her arms.
Nami felt that powerful high again from earlier. That sense of having someone completely at your mercy. How she was going to give that up after this night she wasn’t exactly sure yet, but she was going to enjoy this while she could.
“No, so you better make it a good one,” she shook her head and smiled brightly.
The hands that were barely touching her on the side of her arms, slid down to grab at her hands. Nami closed her eyes, letting the cheering of their fake wedding guests fill her ears. It’s why she let out a gasp when Sanji pulled on her hands and brought her towards him.
There was a flurry of silk dress as she was spun around and pressed into him. Her entire top half was dipped back, and the change in gravity made her eyes open in time to look at Sanji bend over her, filling her entire vision.
“I will,” he said with determination before bringing his head down to hers.
A loud amount of applause filled the courtyard, but Nami could barely hear it over the beating of her own heart.
The crowd, the stage, the bright lights above them all fell away; she could have sworn the moment their lips touched. She felt like the pathetic protagonists of the romance novels that Robin loved so much.
The feeling of his lips slotting perfectly with hers made her gasp into his mouth.
You would have thought she’d never been kissed in her life.
Nami had never given much if any thought to what it would be like to kiss Sanji minus some tragically desperate moments during the two year separation when the youngest man she came into contact with had been 72.
It was rather lovely.
She tightened her grip on her bouquet that hung limply on her side while her other arm around his shoulders clutched at his suit jacket.
The kiss only lasted moments, a perfectly respectable kiss for a husband and wife in front of their reception.
When Sanji pulled her back upright, Nami felt stupidly lightheaded. It was as if her mind had completely emptied out.
Clutching onto his jacket to keep her balance for the moment, Nami looked up at Sanji and saw that he was no better off than her. The hearts of his eyes were pulsing out of his head, and he lifted his cigarette back into his mouth only for it to nearly fall out immediately because of how much he was grinning.
“Wow,” he whispered dopily.
Nami smiled to herself at that. Normally she’d make fun of him, but she couldn’t blame him. That was the word that had been on the tip of her tongue if she hadn’t had self-control.
“A picture to remember your day!” A voice called out.
Nami looked down from the stage to see a local man with a camera around his neck holding it up with a wide grin.
If there was one thing she loved, it was having a camera on her.
Nami stuck her tongue out for the photographer, trying to get a good picture as always. She knew that Sanji was just going to love struck the entire time either way.
Still though even through the flash of the photo being taken her mind was stuck on one thing.
The way her toes were still curled in her shoes, and the pounding of her heart that hadn’t slowed down since Sanji had kissed her.
She felt off kilter, like her knees were still weak. Was she literally moments away from swooning because of one stupid kiss?
Maybe she just had to be inoculated to it. It was a new feeling for her mouth to be kissing Sanji. If she just got used to it with a few more, they’d probably stop having the effect.
Wouldn’t they?
She was so screwed.