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You knew it. You knew they hated you. That they didn’t need you. That you were just getting in their way.
Despite everything you didn’t think they would come out and just say it.
You are standing in front of Dormont’s Favor Tree, and you don’t understand. You don’t understand why this is happening now, right before you are all supposed to go fight the King! Right before the quest was about to end?
Despite everything, they were right, and you do still love them. Despite all the horrible- true things they told you to your face, despite the fact that they so obviously hate you. You still love them.
You look up, the stars are out. You didn’t go to the clocktower when you were supposed to, and nobody seems to be looking for you. You guess they really meant it, but still…
You might not be able to stay with them, but the King still needs to be defeated, if you don’t help them somehow… Then…
The Favor Tree sways as a gust of wind bristles by, and you remember something Isa said, earlier…
”and- I don’t know what I’m more mad at! The fact that it took me so long to say it, or that because of your wish- I’ll have to tell you, over- and over again!”
Your wish…? You are fairly certain you haven’t made a wish here yet… But you have an idea for one.
You take a leaf from the lowest hanging branch, and whisper into it.
“I wish I could defeat the King.”
“I wish I could defeat the King.”
“I wish I could defeat the King.”
Satisfied, you let your leaf float into the wind. Taking the wish to the Universe.
…
Let’s go, Siffrin. You have a country to save.
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You feel like you actually had a nice sleep, and that's what jolts you awake the fastest. You haven’t slept this well since… since before the loops started. The Sun is already shining through the windows of the clocktower… Did you oversleep!?! You quickly hop out of bed and startle your family awake- if you overslept then the King's curse would be here any moment and- and… Well you guess it wouldn't matter that much.
Your family rouses as quickly as you did, but you all slow when you notice a distinct lack of Siffrin.
Oh Change. It’s coming back to you.
Those… things you said to them, when they couldn’t have ever known? When- When- Did they even come to the clocktower? Or did you all forget about them just like their biggest fear and-
Isabeau’s voice startles out of your spiral.
“Do you hear that?”’
What?
You all listen to… shouting? Cheering? Coming from Dormont?
What?
You all quickly get ready, throwing on your clothes as you had for over a hundred loops by now. A well crafted spell, your family has become, a single member struggling to keep up through no fault of his own. You rush out, forgetting the orbs. This is new, this is something that has changed. This is-
… Claude?
As your family comes to a stop, Claude turns to you and beams!
“Princess!”, She runs up and almost knocks you to the ground with a hug. “I’m so glad you're okay!”. She lets you go and smiles at all of your family. “Ah man, I guess there were two groups working to stop the King! The other guy made it to him first!”.
“What- What are you talking about?” you almost whisper. Claude looks surprised, “You haven’t heard? It was awesome! This Traveler came in and killed the king all by themself! I caught a glimpse of them leaving after they spoke with Euphie- so mysterious.”
You are stunned into silence, thankfully, Madame Odile begins her interrogation. “Excuse me- What did this traveler look like?” She has a hint of apprehension in her voice, like she doesn’t actually want the answer.
Something comes back to you as Claude describes Siffrin.
“And no matter what! You’ll never Change Siffrin! No matter how much we push you, or try to change things around you- You. Don’t. Change. Well you NEED TO! Unless you Change, WE ARE ALL TRAPPED HERE. SO FORGET ABOUT YOUR FAKE GOD WHO HAS ABANDONED YOU AND BELIEVE IN SOMETHING REAL SO WE CAN ALL KILL THE KING AND LEAVE!”
. . .
You want your sibling back.
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You remember this time, back before your big Change, where you accidentally broke a lamp. You panicked and blamed it on a cat. The only problem with that is, you never had a cat, but you panicked and ended up pretty easily revealing to your parents that you lied to them. Your big mouth got you into trouble before you even really changed!
Sometimes it feels like you have a lot more changing to do…
You’re leaning against the boulangerie watching the festivities go on around you. It’s been an hour since Mira ran back to the clocktower and locked herself in. You’re waiting, of course. Waiting and thinking. Madame excused herself to the house, you guess she wanted to examine the king's corpse. The House was putting on tours to Dormont’s residents to view the fallen monarch, pretty macabre if you ask yourself, but who is asking you?
It doesn’t matter, this will reset soon. It has too.
“And no matter what you’re always one step behind us Sif! You never keep up! You’re a shell of the person I fell in love with! Your jokes are stale! I’ve heard them all! You're never strong enough! We always have to step in to save you! Why can’t you keep up! Why are you MAKING ME DO THIS AGAIN?”
…
This will reset soon, it has too. If it doesn’t, then that means you really messed up in a way you can’t take back. Big Dumb Isabeau, wasting all his chances and still not getting the confession right. Serves you right! It’s hilarious if you ask yourself.
Which is why you know this isn’t over, because it can’t be! Because you didn’t do it right yet. Because if Sif is gone… Then his wish can’t be fulfilled!
The tension in your shoulders gives way. Right, of course, this isn’t over. Sif’s wish is still unfulfilled. It can’t be over. Maybe next time you’ll actually take Bonbon’s idea of just telling Sif you’ll travel with them after this. Maybe next time you won’t flake out like the coward you are.
Next time…
The loop sure is taking its time huh?
…
Not your best work, but Sif would have loved it.
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The King is a mess, you understand why those housemaidens prevented the Dormont children from entering the hall. There are gashes all through his armour, his throat has been cut open, blood pools on the ground where he lays. You stop and stare at him. Someone, at some point, had torn his helmet off, and you finally get an actual face to the monster who had caused your little family so many problems.
He’s just a guy.
You bark out a laugh and the others in the hall stare at you, but the fact that this ends just like Mirabelle's story book is too much for you, and you have long stopped caring about appearances. It got to the point where Siffrin would almost always figure out something was wrong, just by the way you were acting. He is so perceptive, you constantly forget. There was one time, early on, when you mentioned something offhandedly to Boniface, and they seemed to instantly put the pieces together, and brought up wishcraft on the spot.
You were never able to replicate the results.
You are locked in a staring contest with the corpse in front of you, he is reaching out for something, and he looks scared. You have a hard time believing your little rouge could have done this. Alas, you know that it makes sense. If you put enough time into it, you all could get Siffrin to as high a level as the rest of your family, and he was truly a beast. A truly adept crafter, his later skills able to outshine even some of yours.
You notice the distinct marks of Tear you Apart all across the King’s armour.
You had come up here hoping that the housemaiden had been mistaken, that this wasn’t your little rouge that had done this, but the evidence was laid before you.
Your eyes drift to the symbols on the armour’s pauldrons.
“So tell me, Siffrin? Who IS a person if they don’t know where they came from? If nobody remembers something, IS it worth remembering? Gems, IF YOU HAD REMEMBERED SOONER WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS! IF YOU ACTUALLY CARED YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD US SOONER.”
… Gems you were projecting. You don’t even notice that you have left the hall and are standing on the exterior walkway. It has been dozens of loops since your fear of heights had dissipated, but still, every time Siffrin blocked you from the view.
For the first time in ages, you feel dizzy looking out into the distance.
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This is stupid, you’ve decided.
Everything is stupid.
Everything has been stupid, for ages. You mean, you all learned what you have to do to get out ages ago, but nobody seems to want to go along with it! The Change God spelled it out for you! You’ve been doing your part.
Step One of every loop: when Siffrin comes by, ask him if when this is all over, they want to keep traveling with you back to Bambouche. You need an escort after all! Despite being a savior!
You do your part, but when it comes to the others… CRAB THEY MAKE YOU SO MAD! They’re all so stuck in their heads! Each doing their own thing to try and get out! When the answer is right in front of you! One time, you got Za to try it, and he completely messed up his confession and refused to commit! What's the point? You can be all lovey-dovey with Frin on the road! We just have to get out of here first so Frin can change! ...At least Za tried. Belle and Dile don’t even try anymore.
You have it all planned out, you need everyone to listen, just once! They should listen to you! You are… Oh Crab you guess you’re a teenager now. Well anyway, if they would all just listen to you for once, we could end this with a happy ending.
We… could have ended this with a happy ending.
The Sun is going down, and you have been sitting under the favor tree since Belle ran away. Sometimes, in loops where you all told Frin what was going on, he would come sit under here with you and just… talk with you. Made sure you were okay. Nobody else has really been checking on you for a while now. But now? You’re alone. You guess… you can go back to Nille now? You really want to do that… but… You promised Frin, even if they don’t remember, that he would get to meet Nille also.
. . .
CRAB THIS IS STUPID!
EVERYONE IS STUPID!
BELLE IS STUPID. ZA IS STUPID. DILE IS STUPID. FRIN IS STUPID. YOU ARE STUPID!!!!!
”I HATE YOU FRIN! IF YOU WANT TO KEEP DYING SO MUCH JUST STAY DEAD THIS TIME! AT LEAST I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE AGAIN! AT LEAST YOU WOULDN'T FORGET AGAIN!”
You just wish…
. . .
You… Wish…
You look up at the leaves of the Favor Tree.
You could. Fix everything, couldn’t you? Give everyone another chance. You remember how Frin taught you all how to wish. You could ask Frin’s Universe for another chance.
You hop up, and grab a leaf that feels right. You whisper your wish into the leaf, just like Frin said.
“I wish we were back in the loops with Frin.”
“I wish we were back in the loops with Frin.”
“I wish we were back in the loops with Frin.”
“I wish we were back in the loops with Frin.”
“I wish we were back in the loops with Frin.”
You fold the leaf, and let it float into the wind, and you sit back on the root. You really hope this-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have never been so glad to see the bonding papers in your hands again. You take a deep breath in, and out, just like Siffrin does.
Okay!
Bad Loop! Really bad change! You have learned what not to do if nothing else!
You put the papers away and stand up, walking over to the bridge you begin to put on a smile for Siffrin, you really don’t want this loop to turn out like the last one. You thank the Change God for yet another chance to make things right, and you nearly walk into Siffrin.
… What?
Siffrin… is here… already awake… on the bridge.
“Siffrin? You’re up?”
He sure is, and he still looks exhausted, the bags under his eyes are deep, and he wears the fakest smile you have ever seen. You are stunned into silence, until he opens his mouth, and shatters your world into pieces.
“Hey Mira, have you thought about doing a sleepover tonight?”