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Loneliness.
Sometimes, it hits upon the truly undeserving. Those who do everything right, who do right by others, and find no satisfaction despite the appreciation of the masses.
Then, there are those like one Nolan Grayson. One who did deserve it, whose loneliness is a result of heinous betrayals and deception. Deceiving the Earth for twenty years, playing the great hero and protector sent to help.
Betraying the Guardians of the Globe, brutally murdering them after building up all that trust.
Betraying Cecil, even if he's certain the GDA director never fully trusted him.
Worst of all though, the most unforgivable thing he's done. Even above the murdering, the backstabbing, the mass casualty event he caused in Chicago...
Breaking his family's trust. And all it took to realise that, more than simply beating his son to a pulp through that mass casualty event... was the latter's words to him when Nolan asked what Mark would have after 500 years.
"You, Dad. I'd still have you."
Nolan had rarely shed tears in all twenty of those years on Earth. But as he fled the planet, he did exactly that. And all it took was that handful of words.
And with it, the realisation of just what he's done, and what he'd have after 500 years: a throne of lies and deceit. Earned in blood and pain.
Something he doesn't want. Just like nobody wants him anymore... not even himself.
Which is why he's been having a staring contest with a black hole for the past several hours, deeply contemplating it and what to do. Heavily considering simply allowing himself to fall into it, leave everything behind and die. Nobody'd miss him at this point, he's wronged each and every single person he's known on that blue ball after all.
But just as he was about to let it happen... he heard something, trillions of miles away from his current spot. A voice, a song from a pained heart walking the stars...
If that's all this was when you're not here
What is this rooted pain?
I don't care that you're of lower station
Or primed to sate my dark temptations
Why can't you understand? Let me explain
Nolan had been primed to end it, but somehow... those words had the effect of talking him down from the metaphorical ledge, if only for the moment. Flying away from the black hole and towards the sound, the voice that kept singing its aches into an indifferent void...
And I'm terrified as I cry
To make these feelings true
What's left for me and my broken heart
If I cannot have you?
As he came closer and closer, closing the distance in such a short amount of time that Nolan was floating behind the source of the song within the next handful of lyrics. Simply letting it take its course without saying even a single word, watching the strange owl-like creature move with grace and emotion.
Unless it's me
And no matter what in this world I could give
It's not enough
To get through the walls you've conjured up to live
Is this what you feel?
Gliding up next to the singing owl, the Viltrumite finally found it in him to make a noise, so to speak. "How do you handle it?"
Startled out of his song, the Goetia turned around to see the man who seemed to have beamed that question into his mind. "Who... are you?" Taking stock of the other's state of dress, untrimmed facial hair and general sad gaze, it was clear that whoever this was had been having... thoughts.
"Nolan." Just Nolan. He didn't feel like he deserved the Grayson name anymore. "Don't worry about how you're hearing me right now. I doubt you need to hold your breath like me to talk anyway... whatever you are."
The owl exhaled, before replying. "I am Prince Stolas of the Ars Goetia, Nolan." After a brief pause, Stolas tilted his head to one side ever slightly. "And what do you mean, 'how do I handle it?'"
Staring the Goetia down from a short distance, the Viltrumite answered. "The guilt, the doubts, the... emotion of it all."
Stolas was tempted to answer to the effect of 'that's the neat part: I don't.', but he settled on a mirthless scoff. "You heard my song, then. Isn't that answer enough?"
"At least you can put words to your pain. I'm hiding, running away from it all."
"You wouldn't be the only one I know to do it," Stolas noted with no small amount of sadness.
Nolan could tell, to some degree.
"But what are you running from, Nolan? What pain made you leave for space?" A simple question, laced with a genuine curiosity aimed to a man he's only met a minute or two ago. Stolas just... wanted to know.
"My son. I've... done something to him that I can't possibly be forgiven for." Looking away, breaking line of sight like it'd somehow hide the shame he felt.
"... do you love your son?" It didn't sound judgemental, not at all. It sounded simply like an honest question... from one father to another.
Nolan struggled for an answer, a few seconds passing before landing on one. "I... I do. I think I do." His tone was one of a man who... might have consciously thought this for the very first time.
Stolas recognized that tone, to an extent. Something he wanted to hear from his own father for so long, yet never got. "I am a father as well... my daughter is the shining light in my life. Every insult and bit of abuse I took from my wretched wife, I took for the sake of my beloved little starfire. Would you do the same for your son, Nolan? Would you weather the storm, bear the weight of the world on your shoulders just to see him smile?"
Once more, Nolan didn't have the words for what felt like an eternity. "I don't think I can stand to look him in the eye after what I've done, Stolas."
Walking on stardust, just an inch or two closer to the Viltrumite, the owl demon gently placed a hand on Nolan's shoulder. "Maybe you can't right now. Maybe it'll be a while before you can... sometimes I wake in a cold sweat, fearing Octavia finds my medication and believes I never meant any smile I made when I looked her way. I fear that more than even the thought of a life alone... without her, without Blitzo, without one single soul to have and hold."
Nolan looked at the blackened hand on his shoulder, then made eye contact before speaking again. "Blitzo... he's the one you were singing about, isn't he? What is he to you? A..." He almost said it again. 'A pet'.
"I've loved him since I first saw him... but as our current relationship began in a transactional fashion, he believes it to still be the case. Nothing could be further from the truth... but the way he was raised makes it difficult for him to accept love in his life."
It was Nolan's turn to feel a sense of familiarity in those words. After all, in his culture, it was an achievement to simply turn 18, and your present for doing so was having your parents come to beat you senseless. He can still remember the pure hate and scorn his mother showed him that day, to the point of calling him weak, of disowning both him and his father. How she left them and never came back after...
The Viltrumite managed to hold back tears this time, unlike when he left Earth. "I get it."
Stolas took his hand off Nolan's shoulder, and let both of his arms hang by his sides. "My advice, for what it's worth... is to give it time. Give him space, the way I need to with Blitzo. It won't be easy, but... what's a few months in lives as long as this?" There was sadness in the smile he gave, but a dash of hope still shone through.
Nolan considered those words, contemplated them for a time, before nodding to the Goetia. "Thank you." And on that, he departed.
Back to the black hole as Stolas returned to his song.
I will try to make amends
For making you means to an end
Staring down the metaphorical barrel once more and about to let himself fall in for good, Nolan caught something in the corner of his eye. A ship, perilously headed towards the hole. The sounds of panic within able to be picked up by his hearing, and... perhaps aided by the talk he just had, perhaps a natural result of his previous introspection?
He saved the ship and its inhabitants. Brought them back home, to their planet of Thraxa. As he began to fly away, one of the bug-like aliens he just saved spoke up.
"Wait!" Nolan turned back, looking at the source of the voice that continued on. "I don't know who you are, but we owe you our lives. Won't you stay? Tell us your name... where you come from."
The Viltrumite hesitated, staring at his hand intently.
So look my way, please look my way
And if there's something more that I don't know
I'll save us both before we grow cold
If you'll stay and just say, "Look my way"
And a few months later, eventually, Nolan Grayson found it in his heart to hold that same hand out, to look Mark in the eye and say...
"Hello, son. It's been a while."